Lost Love

Title: Lost Love
Summary: Impossible to summarize! Sorry! It’s a Sango/Miroku, and a death fic.
Rating: NC-17
Archive: Sure, just e-mail me first
Feedback: YES!!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own, claim to own, or in any way profit from these characters. I use them for my own sick purposes, and to entertain others. I’m broke, so suing is not a viable option. I own only the story line, and nothing else.
Aut And Andiee
Author’s E-mail: HiBrownEyes@hotmail.com


Sango looked up at Miroku; the two of them were standing in a field. Sango’s hair floated behind her in the soft breeze.
“What?” she asked, unsure she had heard correctly.
The Houshi couldn’t possibly have just said that. He only wanted her for one thing, she knew this must be some sort of tactic, but he had seemed so sincere. She felt a soft blush grace her cheeks and she looked away, cursing her pale skin for betraying her.
“I love you. I said that I love you, and nothing you can ever do will change that. Not the fact that you don’t love me in return, nothing could ever end this.” He said quietly.
Sango’s head suddenly snapped up. She felt her heart twist at those last words. He sounded so sad, and resigned.
“H-Houshi...”She trailed.
“It’s okay Sango.” He said. “I understand. I can’t possibly give you what you need. You have enough sadness without me.”
“No!” she said angrily “Without you all I have is sadness. Without you to take my mind off things, all I would do is worry, and pity myself. You are my strength. I know everyone thinks I’m strong, but I’m not… Not without you.”
It was Miroku’s turn to be shocked. He felt a tingle of anticipation course through him.
“What are you?” he began. He was cut off as Sango pushed forward in a flurry of emotions and touched her lips to his. She briefly wondered if her inexperience showed, but pushed the thought aside as his lips slid against hers, the friction causing her hands to quiver. She grabbed onto his robes, and held him tight against her. Not wanting to break the moment, not wanting any interruptions.
Finally, relinquishing her hold on his lips, she pulled away, breathing hard, cheeks flushed.
“I’m saying I love you, baka.” She whispered.
Miroku smiled, his heart was overflowing, any second now, he would die of happiness, or lust. He leaned his head down and began to kiss along Sango’s jaw line. He started at her chin, and made his way to her ear, stopping to gently suck and nip at her earlobe. Sango moaned softly. She pressed her chest closer to him, and he began to move along her neck, pausing in places to scrape his teeth along sensitive skin before licking to soothe the sting.

Sango shuddered as he reached the curve between neck and shoulder. He reached down and unbuttoned the front of her battle outfit. His strong fingers quickly pulling it away from her chest, and down her arms. Sango blushed as he stared at her breasts. They were still wrapped in a binding, but that wasn’t hiding much. He reached out and reverently ran his fingertip around one of her hardened nipples. Sango felt pleasure shoot through her, and made a small sound in her throat. She watched his face as his eyes darkened with lust. She felt an aching begin in the apex of her thighs. She wanted him so badly… She didn’t know what she wanted; just that it must concern the area between her legs which was becoming warmer by the second. Miroku quickly unwound the cloth that was obstructing his view, and stared at her full round breasts. He reached out and touched her nipple again, rolling it experimentally between his thumb and forefinger. Sang felt heat rush through her body, and gasped
.
“Miroku, please” She whimpered. Miroku needed nothing more. He picked Sango up off the ground and then knelt on the soft earth, laying her before him. He leaned over her, and took a furled tip in his mouth, sucking gently at first, but picking up force as she writhed beneath him. Sango clutched at his head holding him in place.
He reached down and undid the pants she wore, peeling them from her sweat sheened body. Now she was utterly naked. He pulled back to look at her, and was met by the most beautiful sight he’d ever been witness to. Sango lay on the earth, legs spread wantonly, her every move conveyed innocence, and a desire that was somehow intoxicating. Sango whimpered, and Miroku felt his already hardening member, jut to attention. He pulled at his robes, removing them carefully, but quickly. He soon wore nothing, and lay back down beside Sango. Her eyes widened as she watched him roll towards her. The way the muscles in his arms flexed as he positioned them on either side of her head, to support his weight was making her light headed. She looked up into his eyes and felt all thoughts leave her mind as he looked down at her with a look she’d never seen before. Sango reached up and put her arms around Miroku. She pulled him down a little, and rubbed her chest against his. The feeling was incredible, but she wanted something more. She bucked her hips instinctually against his, and moaned at the resulting explosion of pleasure. Miroku closed his eyes. Feeling Sango against him like this was almost too much, he was already so close.
Miroku groaned as Sango continued to grind against him.
“Sango…” hispeispered questioningly.
Sango didn’t respond. Her eyes were already closed and she pushed ast hst him. Miroku considered just giving in, but he had to make sure that she was sure of what they were going to do.

He pulled away a little. Sango whined at the loss of sensation, and pouted.
“Are you sure… that you, want...this?” he asked.
Sango looked up and smiled a little.
“I love you,” she said simply.
Miroku nodded and positioned himself at her entrance. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers as he drove home. Sango stiffened as pain emanated from where they were joined. Her eyes watered, and a tear leaked through her eye lashes.

Miroku held her cautiously as she adjusted to him. It wasn’t too long before Sango was writhing beneath him again. He kissed away the tear that had fallen as he withdrew. He paused before thrusting back in. Sango felt pleasure wash over every part of her, and as Miroku pounded into her, her body lost shape and form, and everything but the driving urge for release was lost upon her. She bucked against him, struggling to bring herself over the edge. She could feel something aching to be touched down there. She lifted her own hand, and slid it between them. Finding the place, she rubbed it, gently at first, shuddering as the sensations flooded and clashed within her, driving her higher and higher. Cl to to the inevitable thing she could feel building. Miroku watched as Sango touched herself. He would burn the area she was rubbing into his brain, and use it at a further date; right now he needed to reach the end of this. It had been so long, not since he’d met Sango had he done this, had he felt this much need.

Sango felt her vaginal walls contract, and there was a sudden explosion, pleasure slammed through her body, causing her to call out and convulse around Miroku.
Miroku thrust harder as he felt her walls clamp down on him, prolonging her sweet agony, before he could no longer hold himself back. He thrust one last time, and he shot his hot, white, seed into her body. Groaning out her name as he came to a searing release.
They simply lay like that for a few moments, savoring the aftermath of what they had just done. Feeling the aftershocks roll through their bodies.
“Sango, I love you so much.” Said Miroku, kissing her forehead, pouring all of his heart and soul into the words and the action.

“I’m so happy.” SSangSango, eyes brimming with tears. She tried to cover her face with her hands, but Miroku pulled them away. He kissed the tears that fell, and rolled over, withdrawing. Sango felt him slip out of her, and had to hold back another moan.
Miroku pulled her close to him and threw his robes over them. Sango lay her head on his chest and felt herself becoming drowsy.


A few weeks later


Sango sat in the same clearing that she and Miroku had first made love in. she felt her heart flutter as she remembered the gentle ways he had touched her. She then blushed as she recalled the searing heat that had followed said touching. Sango and Miroku had become closer, and she knew he loved her. He hadn’t asked a single woman to bear his child since that night. He also refrained from groping her unless they were alone. Sango knew the others suspected something, and she would probably tell Kagome soon. Kagome was after all, Sango’s best friend.

A sudden noise in the bushes caused Sango to stop her thoughts. Looking up she glanced around. A sudden Jaki surrounded the field. Sango took a defensive stance. She readied her Hiraikotsu. An evil cackle filled the field.
“You won’t need that my dear.” It said loudly “I only want to play.”
Sango was thrown backwards. She slammed against the ground. Crying out as her head hit the hard earth. Sango picked herself up, looking around warily.
“Oh, did that hurt?” Asked the mocking voice.
Sango glared, but she could still see nothing. A sudden prick at the back of her neck.
“Wha?” She started to say, but everything was going black. Sango slumped forward and fell to the grass.
“My, My.” Said Naraku, walking out from behind the tree lines. “A little excessive don’t you think?”
A small demon trotted out to bow before him.
“Sorry master.” He responded.
“You may go now.” Said Naraku coldly.
Naraku walked towards Sango and looked at her unmoving body. This should keep them occupied he thought, an evil grin forming on his face.
“Sango?” called a male voice just beyond the tree line. Naraku looked in the direction, and then darted off into the trees.


Miroku was beginning to worry. Sango was no where to be found and it had been hours since he last saw her. He sighed. She didn’t realize that just because she was strong didn’t mean she couldn’t get hurt or killed by a strong Youkai.
Miroku walked into cleaclearing.

“San--“he began, cutting himself off as he saw herll fll form in the middle of the clearing. It was unlike Sango to do something like that. Fall asleep in a field.
Miroku shivered. The Jaki was fading, but he knew this feeling. Naraku was nearby.
He rushed towards Sango, worry carved into every line of his face. What would he do without Sango?

He touched her shoulder, and she rolled onto her back. He was relieved to see the rise and fall of her chest. He assured himself she was simply tired, and bent down. He picked her up and began to walk towards the village
.

Sango opened her eyes and saw a man with silver hair bent over her, his golden eyes peering down at her.
“Oi!” he called “She’s awake!”
Sango felt her heart thud in her chest. Who was this strange man? He was so handsome. She felt her heart flutter as he stood up.
“Sango!” called a black haired man rushing to her side; he threw his arms around her. Sango pulled away violently, why was he being so familiar with her?
“Excuse me!” she said “What are you doing?”
His eyes clouded with confusion.
“Don’t you remember me Sango?” he asked quietly.
“My name is Sango?” she questioned, realizing she liked the sound of the name.
“Y-yes.” He answered. “I’m Miroku, don’t you remember us?”
“I think maybe I remember him.” She said pointing to the silver haired man, who had given her butterflies in her stomach.
“Inuyasha?” asked Miroku sounding surprised.
“I...nu…yasha.” she said quietly. Such an interesting name.
Inuyasha raised an eyebrow. Shrugging he left to find Kagome, she was outside playing with Shippou.
Miroku felt desperation flood through his body, he felt all his previous happiness come crashing down around him. Sango didn’t remember him, or them, or feel anything for him. He felt tears rise but quickly choked them back. He wouldn’t cry in front of her.

Sango watched the strange man who said his name was Miroku. She felt absolutely nothing. He spoke as though they were more than friends, but surely she would remember something like that. Something so important couldn’t be completely erased right? She searched within herself for one shred of recognition, or emotion, and found nothing.
She looked on helpless as he struggled with his emotions. Feeling slightly guilty, she allowed her thoughts to drift to Inuyasha again.
“S-Sango” stammered Miroku. “Can I take you somewhere? Maybe you’ll remember it?”

Sango looked up; she was confused, but nodded none the less. She would follow him, it was the least she could do.
Miroku walked in carefully measured steps, every moment hope rising within him. Surely she couldn’t have forgotten him completely. If anything would make her remember this would. Their clearing.
Sango walked effortlessly behind him. There was a vague sense of familiarity in this place, but nothing more. As they reached the clearing, a strange urge came over her.
“Mi- Miroku?” she heard her own voce whisper. She tried to widen her eyes in surprise, but she knew her reaction would not be displayed on her face. Something was controlling her body.
Miroku turned around, whirling to look at Sango, who was walking towards him. The way she’d just said his name. She remembered.
“Sango” this time the tears that welled up slid down his cheeks as she fell into his arms.
Sango felt her head rest against his shirt. This was all too much. She barely even knew him, and here she was in his arms. She was slowly lowered to the earth, and horror flooded her mind as she realized what was about to occur.


Sango lay on the damp earth. Her body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. She wanted to cry, but her screams of terror came out as moans. She felt Miroku thrusting into her, and the heat that accompanied the movements he made. Her body was tightening, and she felt something welling up. She tried to hold it back, but came anyway, shuddering, convulsing and crying out in ecstasy. Miroku soon followed. He looked up at Sango’s face, her cheeks were flushed and her lips parted, he bent forward and pressed his lips softly against hers.


Sango felt revulsion flood through her. She knew it wasn’t his fault, and so self loathing filled her. Perhaps if she were stronger, she could have over come whatever was holding her in place. Miroku rolled off her, and she lay her head on his chest. Her eyes closed, and she felt herself slip into unconsciousness.


Sango woke up with a start. Her eyes opened and she realized she was standing. What? She vaguely wondered. In her hand she held a dagger, blood coated her hands. Confusion blurred her vision, and she staggered forward. The last thing she remembered was walking into the field by herself. She staggered forward, and tripped over a stformform. Sango crashed to the ground, landing hard on her shoulder. She winced in pain, but nothing was broken. She remained lying down for a few minutes before pushing herself up. Her vision began to clear and as she stood she suddenly saw what the still form was. Miroku lay still on the earth. His eyes were closed, and blood seeped from a wound on his chest which rose and fell with each labored breath.
“Miroku!!!!!” she cried launching herself forward. She grasped his shirt and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. Hot tears poured from her eyes, and she sobbed uncontrollably. Fear was coursing in her, and it mingled with grief. She knew she had to get help, but she was loath to leave Miroku wounded and alone. Finally, with a great burst of strength, she pulled from him, and ran towards the village. Tears flowed continuously, she tripped over a root and fell, pushing herself up, she continued to run, ignoring the cuts and bruises that now adorned her body. Miroku was her only concern. She couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not when so recently they had discovered their feelings. Life couldn’t possibly be so cruel, but Sango knew it could, and this drove her to run faster. She reached Kaede’s hut gasping for breath.
She knocked on the wood and quickly heard answering footsteps.
“What is it my child?” asked Kaede sliding open the door.
“Miroku…” was all Sango could say. Kaede saw the blood covering Sango and grabbede sue supplies.


Miroku felt himself become weightless. All pain left his body. The quens tns that had plagued him when Sango had first thrust the sharp dagger into his body faded. Everything became black. Something was wrong. He needed to tell Sango how he felt one last time.
A sudden pain went through his body as his eyes flew open.
“Sango.” He gasped. They were in Kaede’s hut he saw. Tears were on Sango’s cheeks, but she tried to smile for him.
“What is it Miroku?” she whispered. Not houshi, not Miroku-sama, or ever –san... Miroku.
“I… I don’t think I’ll make it.” Hnagenaged to say. “I’m sorry.”
Sango’s smile faded, and was replaced by tears. She wanted to argue, wanted to scream it wasn’t true, he would be fine. However, she couldn’t let him die as she lied to him. She simply nodded, accepting the imminent truth. She would lose her one and only love forever, and nothing could be done.
“I love you so much Sango. You made me so happy.” He whisp.
.
“I love you too,” she said trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to rack her body.
“Perhaps...” he said “You carry my child.”
Sango nodded hope filling her body. She desperately wished it were true. Something to keep, something that was Miroku. Some little part of him and her.
“Perhaps.” She said her hope evident in her voice and face.
“Tell him about me... and don’t let him bear the curse for too long.” He said, and with that, Miroku’s eyes closed, and he was lost to the world. Somewhere in the sky, a star blinked out of existence.
Sango threw her body at Miroku’s and sobs shook her entire body, love, grief and guilt poured out of her, and she felt as though she would die. She collapsed on top of him as her strength left her, and she fell asleep.


Kagome stared down at the sleeping Sango, her heart ached, and her eyes were red from crying. Miroku was gone. They’d found a shikon shard in the field the next morning. They knew then Naraku had controlled Sango, and used her to kill the only thing she had left.
Sango hadn’t gotten out of bed since, only to use the washroom. She ate what Kagome brought her, because if she were carrying Miroku’s child, it needed nourishment. Soon they would know if she was or not. Kagome hoped she was. It was the only thing that kept Sango going. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She had lost not only one friend, but two. Sango would never be the same. She would always harbor this sadness. So would the rest of them, but Sango had been in love. Had given herself to him. Here she was, nothing to show for it but memories, a broken heart, and tears.

“Kagome.” Began Sango. Kagome’s hopes lifted these were the first words Sango had spoken since Miroku had died. “What will I do?”
Kagome’s heart was wrenched, and a lump formed in her throat.
“You have courage, and you live.” She spoke quietly. “You try to be happy, and you try to live the way he would want.”
“Could you?” she asked. “Could you without Inuyasha?” Kagome considered denying her feelings, but knew that she couldn’t if she wanted to.
“Perhaps not.” She said “I would be lost. I’m weak. I would die without him, so I throw everything away to be with him, that’s who I am. You are strong. You can do this, for Miroku, because he would want you to.” Tears were streaming down Kagome’s face, and she covered it with her hands.
“I see.” Was Sango’s response. She nodded, and stood up. “I need to bathe.”
Kagome nodded in return, and remained kneeling, her eyes overflowing with tears, as Sango picked up the remains of her life and pieced them back together.

Epilogue

9 months later


Sango screamed in pain, she pushed as Kaede instructed, and finally, it was over. Kaede lifted up the baby, anntlyntly tapped it’s back, causing air to rush into it’s lungs. The child screamed, and cried. Kaede wrapped it in a blanket and handed smalsmall bundle to it’s mother. She closed her eyes as the small bundle was placed in her arms. Extreme sadness and a familiar old pain flooded her senses.
“It’s a boy.” Kaede said softly.
“Miroku.” Whispered Sango, looking down into the small dark eyes. The baby stared back at his mother, and grasped at the blanket.
Tears fell from Sango’s eyes, and she held the baby tightly against her chest.