What I want.

My lungs collapse slowly. The sweetest sleep I've ever known drags me down into a watery grave.

I remember Kohaku's beautiful face as its light glimmered and slowly faded away. I remember my father, for the man he was, and all the love he gave with words never uttered. I remember my friends. I remember my village, and the people who stepped in when my mother never could, and when my father could not. Such recollections threatened to invade and encircle me. To drown me in this maelstrom of sorrow. But alas, I wake up. I wake up to the sound of the river in all its majestic transparent perfection. So perfect, It feels like I could purify myself in it. Before, I would love to drink deep, feel it go down my throat slowly and sit in my stomach. To be filled. 

"Sango?" His voiced croaked.

But these days, I was filled to the brim.

"Ay hoshi-sama?" I whispered.

"Not having trouble sleeping I hope?" 

"No, not at all." I quickly stated.

I looked around me. The embers of the fire long dead, but with the stars above to illuminate the softness and the beauty of his face. I glanced away. With the minute amount of light, I could clearly see the miko millions of miles away in a dream. Shippo twitched his little legs, Kirara curled around him for a change, and Inuyasha cocking one eye at Miroku and I and returning to his slumber. Surely to be with Kagome. I smiled at the thought.

"You're covered in sweat you know." His deep voice, slicing through the forest choirs of snores, howls, and wind. 

"I'm fine hoshi-sama." I responded still seemingly startled. "Its all this heat." I lied.

He looked at me deeply. Almost debating whether or not to persist. I smiled sweetly at him, trying to coax his to sleep. But he gazed at me, and I found myself looking to the ground as I felt the blood rush to my face. He the gets up from his position against the tree. I can hear his sandals approach me, and with every foot step I feel my heart beat pound to match each step. I can not face him. I look away and scurry deeper into my futon.

I feel his calloused warm hand slip beneath my covers and touch my hand. He slides it down to my waist, and turns me to him. I inhale his spicy heated breath as he lays down next to me. Ay kami, those eyes.  It reminds me of my childhood, when I swim deep, encircled my blue, and light from the surface piercing right through.

"Sango." He whispers.

My voice is no where to be found. It too, is immersed in him. This man will be my husband. My lover. My everything. He knows my sorrows, my fears, my happiness, my being. I want to dive deeper. I squeeze that warm strong hand. But then, he sits up. I could sense a change in him. What was he thinking? It makes me nervous, and fluttery when all of a sudden in a hushed voice says,

"Come with me."

He gets up quickly and pulls me to feet. I feel his warm hand squeeze mine harder as he pulled me into the forest. For some reason, we we're running. He leads the way of course. As we ran, to where ever Miroku was taking us, I looked up at the stars, the trees, and the sun that threatened to end our night of adventure, when he finally turned to me.  He let go of my hand and stepped back. First those eyes stared at me, and sweetly smiled, but then they began to roam, like I'd never seen them do. His sapphires did not miss one curve or crevice. It made me blush, it made me wonder, it made me almost uncomfortable. I'd never seen a man stare at me with so much intent, so hungry. His stare pushed me up against a tree, and Miroku soon followed.