The End of My Eternal Winter

Notes:
Originally written for the Moonlight Flower "Spring" Fanfiction contest and posted on 3/6/08.
Sesshoumaru/Adult!Rin. Contains slightly WAFF-y sexual content.

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Darkness

It surrounded me.

It always had; the cold frost of eternal winter enveloped me in my entirety. I felt nothing else. I knew nothing else; nothing but my bitterness and the emptiness of my frigid existence.

I had nothing, until I had you.

You . . . the very embodiment of light. Radiant was your smile, like the sun, warming me ever so slightly, lessening the chill of this frost-bitten soul. Though I did not understand why, somehow I was not as numb as I was before. This atrophied heart could feel.

I had to know what you had done. You were my enigma, the puzzle that I needed to solve.

So I allowed you to stay.

Without my knowledge, without my consent, I was ensnarled. Your light took root and grew----you grew, thriving amongst the ice. In my heart, the vines wound around me, snaking into even the deepest, most desolate crevice.

I was trapped, but I did not mind.

Suddenly, in one horrible instant, you were gone, felled not by age, illness or enemy, but by my foolish pride and my selfish quest for power. Thawed ice trickled from these eyes. That day, I learned exactly what it was to cry. I cried for you and threw all else aside.

I was broken.

Blessed by what was no less than a miracle, fate intervened, seeing fit to return you to me. As I gently touched your cheek, quiet relief filled my soul. You were real. You were alive. I would not be cast back into the dead of self-imposed winter.

To this day, I am not sure what I would have done without you.

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The years passed . . .

I watched you grow; flourishing like the flowers you so love, transforming into a creature of unequivocal beauty. Yours was a spectacular metamorphosis indeed.

Awestruck by the very sight of you, I felt the roots dig deeper. My feelings were changing, growing into something new, something beyond the cold, calculated reason with which I was so familiar. It was something more primal, instinctive, passionate, and yet at the same time, more tender and gentle.

Love

I wanted you. Even more, I wanted you to want me. Limited not by the restraints of time, I waited . . . waited for you, doubting my decision, yet all the while, never having been so certain of anything in my entire life.

I needed you. You needed time----time to mature, to come into full bloom.

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The night was cool, the air stirred by only the slightest of breezes. The scent of sakura tickled my nose as the pale petals fell from the trees, scattering across the grass at my feet. From the corner of my eye, I watched you walk towards me, onyx tresses rustled by the wind, porcelain skin bathed in moonlight. My heart raced as you drew nearer.

So beautiful . . .

You said you were cold. You asked me to warm you.

I could not speak.

I obliged, nodding my consent. Wrapping my arms around you, I gently rubbed small circles over your back, encouraging your blood to flow. Amidst the sigh of contentment, I heard it . . . the quickening of your pulse, beating faster and faster, as you shuddered under the ministrations.

I could not breathe.

I raised your chin gently. Looking deep into orbs of chocolate, I see the unbridled desire for which I have been waiting for so long. My eyes smiled at the revelation.

Beneath those stars, you would finally be mine.

I closed the distance, claiming your lips with mine. Silky and delicate . . . they were like the petals that surrounded us. My eyes closed as I savored the moment. I had never known anything as soft.

Time itself stopped.

I felt your arms slip around my neck, fingers weaving through my hair, lightly tugging at a handful of strands as you pressed into me. Lightly flicking my tongue against your lips, I silently begged you for more.

Open, for me.

Sliding inside, I tasted your glorious sweetness. Our tongues danced as the kiss deepened. My hunger, our hunger, grew insatiable. Once frozen blood surged through my veins, hot, searing, like a lava flow. Slowly, robes fell away and faded into the night.

I saw the secrets of your garden.

You saw mine.

A moment of tense silence hovered between us. This one act would change everything. There would be no going back.

You knew.

I knew. And I could not have cared less. We sank to the ground as I pulled you into another kiss.

Let me love you.

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My hands wandered, slowly exploring the new terrain . . . scaling mountains . . . slipping between valleys . . . carefully committing each feature to memory.

Drawn down by a force I could not comprehend, I travelled across your body, searching for the source of an unfamiliar, yet enticing, scent that had captured my interest, lips following the trails blazed my hands----skimming across curves, sampling every inch of your skin. There, in your deepest valley, lay a spring from which the sweetest smelling nectar on earth flowed. Gently parting your legs, I dipped my head and lazily slid my tongue across the fountain’s surface, allowing your taste to linger on my lips.

Amazing . . .

More potent than any sake or opiate was the rare delicacy I discovered. I drank thirstily, like a man starved of water. Feasting on your ambrosia, I devoured you, lapping up every drop of the saccharine that flows from you until rapture consumed you.

You watched as I pulled away, eyes full of fascination, satisfaction and . . . yet a deeper longing still.

The desire to be complete, to finally be rid of the emptiness I had known for so long, relentlessly drove me to find a way to fill the void. Journeying north, my lips found yours again. I drew your slender legs around my waist, lingering at your doorway, my hands raising you slightly.

Set me free, my love.

With one thrust, I was sheathed, cloaked to the hilt in silken, moist warmth. A wince of pain flashes across your face. I stilled my body, instead feathering kisses across your lips and the nape of your neck, gently caressing your hips with one hand, as I waited for you to adjust to the unfamiliar intrusion.

As I felt you relax, I slowly rolled my hips, grinding into you, sliding in and out of the blissfully tight channel. After a moment, you grew bolder and begin rocking your hips, matching me thrust for thrust. Soon, we moved in perfect, glorious synchronicity. I stoked the fire raging in you . . . the fire that rages in me . . . driving into you with ever-increasing urgency. My breath grew ragged. Sunrise loomed on the horizon of my mind. I was so close.

“Rin . . .”

Suddenly, your walls closed around me. Your grip tightened, nails raking down my back, as you shouted my name to the stars. Overwhelmed by the sensations, I could hold on no longer. A brilliant flash of white exploded behind my eyes, and I found release. Growling into your shoulder, I buried myself as deeply as I could, riding out your climax as you drained me.

Exhausted, I withdrew gently, and lay at your side. The point for pretenses passed long ago. With no need to pretend any longer, the stony façade crumbled into nothingness, a small smile appearing in its place. You smiled back.

“I love you.” As my fingers glided through your silky hair, the words fell from my lips----smoothly, naturally, effortlessly----as though I had done nothing more than drawn breath, not even realizing I had spoken until I heard your reply. Words that compelled a long-lost sun to rise, bringing light to the darkness I had known for so long. Words that melted the last lingering traces of snow from and warmed even the most desolate reaches of my soul.

Five little words changed my whole world.

“I love you, too, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

And in that moment, in this heart, a new emotion blossomed.

Happiness

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