Stature

Stature
By Dawn A. Dyer
I do not own Inuyasha or any of the gang. They are all the property of Rumiko Takehashi

Chapter One: Youkai Ichor

Inuyasha sat on the best branch of his favorite tree, overlooking the hag, Kaede’s hut. To say that his mood was foul would have been a lie. He was positively shaking with rage as he sat muttering curses under his breath. It did not help matters that his anger was directed solely at himself. Kaede was inside her hut, working feverishly to save Kagome.

Kagome…

She hadn’t opened her eyes for three days now. Inuyasha spat another curse. She hadn’t woken for three days and it was all his fault. He had been right where he should have been, standing beside Kagome as they battled Naraku for the hundredth time, and for the hundredth time they had failed.

Sango went down first, hit by her Hiraikotsu when she had to dodge a Samiyosho bee intent on delivering its poisonous sting. Miroku was there in an instant and without a thought for himself, he uncovered his wind tunnel and began to suck Samiyosho into the void in his hand. The monk knew that soon his hand and arm would begin to turn a muddy blue from the poison of the Samiyosho. He held the Kazaana open for as long as he could, but in the end he succumbed to the venom running rampant through his body. He managed to cover the void before he passed out.

Kirara was the next to fall. The great two-tailed cat demon stood over Sango and Miroku, protecting them from further attacks, but in doing so, she could not evade the bees when they came at her in great number. When she was finally stung, she shrank to the size of a regular house cat. The little two-tail lay next to Sango, her eyes closed, and her chest heaving with gasping breaths.

Shippo had bravely stood by his companions; throwing Fox Fire at the Samiyosho. He didn’t see the tentacle that swept him aside like so much garbage. The kitsune cub had been flung into the forest. Inuyasha heard Shippo hit a tree, and he hoped the boy would be all right.

Inuyasha and Kagome were the only ones left standing, and Naraku quickly turned his attention to them. Kagome was knocked down by another tentacle, but she was still conscious. Inuyasha called up the Wind Scar from Tetsusaiga, hurling the tremendous bolts of energy at Naraku. It never landed. Naraku had erected a strong barrier to protect himself, and the power of the Wind Scar broke upon it and died away. Inuyasha had Tetsusaiga raised over his head; ready to try and break the barrier, when his Father’s Fang was yanked out of his hands. Several of Naraku’s tentacles changed appearance, looking then like clawed, and skeletal hands. Naraku caught Inuyasha by surprise and nearly tore the hanyou’s arm off with his first blow.

It was then that Inuyasha felt the demon blood in him awaken with a pulse that felt like thunder in his chest. When Naraku struck him again, he left deep gashes in Inuyasha’s hip and leg. Inuyasha felt the blood rise and knew the transformation was beginning. His claws lengthened and looked sharper. His golden eyes turned red, and finally the slitted pupils appeared, no longer black, but blue. When the jagged lavender markings rose along his cheekbone, he ceased to be coherent, intent only on his enemy, Naraku.

Inuyasha did not remember that he had succeeded in driving Naraku off. He did not remember Kagome finding her feet and calling out to him. He did not remember Kagome flinging herself at the demon he had become. He did not remember slashing at her with his terrible claws. He remembered nothing. He had fallen too far into the transformation this time for Kagome’s voice, or her touch to save him, but something fundamental had kicked him in the brain, and cooled the fiery blood within him. It was the sight and the smell of Kagome’s blood that brought him back to himself.

It had been more than a year since the transformation had last overcome the hanyou. He thought he’d conquered the curse of his Father’s demon blood by killing Ryuukosei. He thought he’d never have to worry about hurting his friends ever again. He had been so wrong! Inuyasha felt sick down to his soul every time he thought about how much blood there had been. After three days, he could still smell it.

Inuyasha had bathed and washed his fire-rat robes several times, yet the smell of Kagome’s blood clung to him. He had begged Kaede for herbs to mask the scent, but she had calmly said the only thing that he smelled was his guilty conscience, and that he should get over it. Old Bitch… She didn’t understand.

There were smells rising from Kaede’s hut that made Inuyasha ache inside. There was the odor of Kaede’s herbs, boiling, or burning, and being mixed into salves for Kagome’s deep wounds. He could smell Kagome’s blood. He could smell the heat of her fever, but above it all, there was the sweet scent of Kagome herself. It was more precious to him than even Kikyo’s had once been.

What if Kagome died?

Inuyasha threw his head back and vented a long howl.

“Ye stop that, Inuyasha!” Kaede yelled from within the hut. “Ye’ve scared the whole village with ye noise!”

“Keh.” Inuyasha said, though he did stop howling.

Kaede came outside and glared up at Inuyasha with her hands on her wide hips.

“Will ye explain to me once more why ye did not go to Jeninji’s with the others?” The old woman demanded. “At least I would be able to tend Kagome in peace.”

“I told you,” Inuyasha barked, “I’m not leaving Kagome!”

“Inuyasha,” Kaede said, clearly exasperated. “Ye may howl and curse all ye like, but none of that will help Kagome.”

“Well you won’t let me inside.” Inuyasha pointed out with a snarl.

“I am merely taking care that her injuries do not become infected.” Kaede said with a sigh. “Patience, Inuyasha. Give her another day, and I’ll let ye in to see her.”

Kaede turned to walk away.

“Kaede?” Inuyasha asked softly.

“Yes Inuyasha?”

“Is Kagome going to die?”

“It is a near thing, Inuyasha.” Kaede told him. “I am still not sure.”

With that, Kaede went back into her hut, leaving Inuyasha to brood.

During the night, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo returned on Kirara, bearing the herbs from the gardens of Jeninji. Kaede met them at the door, took the carefully wrapped parcels and them bid them to rest. Sango and Shippo passed beneath Inuyasha’s tree first. Sango paused, perhaps to speak with him, but one searing glance held her tongue. Shippo also said nothing as he and Sango went on their way. Miroku, however, would not be intimidated by any expression of Inuyasha’s

“When are you going to come down, Inuyasha?” The monk wondered aloud.

“I’ll come down when I feel like it.” Inuyasha informed him.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Miroku said, hoping to make Inuyasha see reason.

“Shut up, Miroku.” Inuyasha snapped. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But you should.” Miroku insisted. “Sometimes it helps to talk even when you don’t want to.”

“Keh.” Inuyasha sneered. “What would you know?”

“I know it has worked for me.” Miroku replied.

“Yeah, well I’m not you.” Inuyasha returned. “Go to bed, Miroku. Go and leave me be.”

“You’ll have to come down sometime.” Miroku said sagely as he went to join the others.

Inuyasha stayed in his tree until just before first light, when he decided he needed another bath. There was no one else at the natural hot spring, and for that he was grateful. He removed his robes and sank into the hot water with a sigh. He wasted no time and began to scrub himself vigorously. For just a moment, the scent of Kagome’s blood faded, but when he pulled his robes into the water, the odor came flooding back.

“Damn,” Inuyasha thought as he inspected his clothing. “There aren’t any stains. Why does it still smell? Damn…”

Inuyasha washed his robes thoroughly and when he grew tired of the exercise, he climbed out and shook himself nearly dry. He wrung the water out of his robes and put them on, meticulously fixing the folds of his hakama, and laying everything just so. The last thing he did was tuck Tetsusaiga at his side. His steps were soundless as he made his way back to his tree.

The rising sun greeted him as he sat comfortably in his tree. Inuyasha was calmer now, mulling quietly over his situation. His memories took him back to when he’d first seen Kagome.

He had been so angry. Kagome looked like Kikyo however odd her clothing was. She had even smelled like Kikyo at first. It had all been so confusing, and Inuyasha hated being confused. Kagome’s courage quickly impressed him, and he found that he liked being with her, liked her fierce spirit, and liked having her at his side as they fought.

Kagome had always been faithful to him, even when he was off chasing Kikyo, or coming back with an aching heart. He knew he made her mad, but truth be told, he didn’t always understand why. Inuyasha tried, he really did, and he knew that his pride got in the way sometimes. Kagome never stayed angry. She seemed to understand so much more than he did, and she didn’t balk at the important task she had accepted. Kagome loved him and that meant more to him than anything.

It had been two years since Kagome had fallen through the Bone-Eaters well. It had been two years of having her scent all around him, two years of watching over her, protecting her. It had been two years of watching her change from a near child to a beautiful woman. Inuyasha sighed. He had grown to care for her so much. He had finally come to realize that Kikyo was no longer part of his life – she never could be. She was dead. There was still a small part of Inuyasha’s heart that loved her, he always would, but he had chosen Kagome, and was content in his choice.

Kagome loved Inuyasha, she had told him so. He loved her too, even though he had never said the words before. Now it could be too late. Inuyasha suppressed the urge to howl out his grief and pain. Kaede had said Inuyasha could see Kagome tomorrow. Nothing would stop him.

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo came to Inuyasha’s tree shortly after the sun came up. Sango quietly asked Inuyasha to come down; they needed to speak. It was Sango’s soft respect that made him comply.

“I have an idea.” Sango began to explain. “I know you’ll probably get angry, but this has to be said. Please don’t take this the wrong way.

“Kagome is the only one among us who has absolutely no defenses.” Sango said. Seeing Inuyasha’s golden eyes darken, she quickly added: “We can do something about that.”

“What are you going to do,” Inuyasha asked acidly, “clip my claws?”

“Certainly not!” Sango exclaimed. “I am going to go to my village, and I’m going to fashion some armor for Kagome!”

Inuyasha was immediately contrite. He knew how it hurt Sango to return to those ruins, to see the graves of her father and fellow villagers.

“Sango,” Inuyasha asked quietly, “can you really do that?”

“I think so.” Sango replied. “I know that there are bits and pieces all over the village. I’m sure I can piece something together for Kagome.”

“What are we waiting for?” Inuyasha demanded excitedly. “Let’s go!”

“You and I will be remaining here.” Miroku interjected.

“What?” Inuyasha shouted. “Why?”

“Well,” Miroku said, appearing somewhat abashed at the question, “the short version is this. We three were talking last night, while we rode on Kirara’s back, and later before we went to sleep. We talked about many things, like Kagome’s armor and such, but somehow the conversation turned to what we considered home.

“Sadly, we came to the conclusion that we’re all essentially homeless.” Miroku told him. “We talked some more and the thought came up that perhaps we could build a place to call home.”

“That’s right, Inuyasha.” Shippo chimed in. “I haven’t had my own bed since my father was killed. Miroku can’t really call his temple home anymore. Sango can’t live in a ruined village.”

“We know you have no place to call home either, Inuyasha.” Miroku added. “The villagers accept you here. Kaede is close by if we need a healer. We have the hot springs…”

“You want to build a house?” Inuyasha inquired.

“Yes.” Miroku answered.

“Kagome could use a place to call home when she’s here.” Sango said. “I think it would make her feel more like she belongs.”

A house?

Inuyasha thought about it. It was not a thing that he would have done for himself. Keh. What need was there for it? However, for Kagome, he would do anything. It didn’t take him long to decide.

“If you say so.” Inuyasha agreed. “I’ll do what I can, but I’ve never built anything before.”

“Quite all right.” Miroku said, putting a companionable arm around the hanyou. “We have help.”

Apparently, Inuyasha’s friends had made up their minds about the project even before they’d come to him. A group of men were already hard at work, framing up the structure that would become a house.

Well, Inuyasha thought to himself. At least they picked a good spot. The floor had been built in a clearing of the bamboo grove that grew just beyond the western border of the village. Inuyasha approved. If demons found them out, at least they would not be drawn to the village proper. Miroku proceeded to show Inuyasha everyone’s “room”, even though the spaces were only just defined by framing.

“I see you put yourself right next to Sango.” Inuyasha commented. “You must really like getting slapped.”

“It’s better than not having her touch me at all.” Miroku said brightly. “Don’t be jealous. Your room is next to Kagome’s.”

Inuyasha’s room was going to be different from the others as Miroku explained to him.

“You’ll be able to sit on the roof if you like, or outside.” Miroku said as Inuyasha tried to imagine. “We’re not cutting back the bamboo much at all, and the whole wall of your room will slide open.”

“You’ve given this some thought, haven’t you?” Inuyasha said.

Miroku beamed at his friend.

“You have Sango and Shippo to thank for the plans.” Miroku told Inuyasha. “It seems our little Shippo has dreamed of this for some time.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Inuyasha asked.

“They need more wood.” Miroku said. “Grab an axe and follow me.”

Miroku kept Inuyasha busy for the entire day, chopping wood, shaping planks, and even shaving shingles for the roof. Once he began to work, he did so with an intensity that surprised Miroku until he realized that Inuyasha was doing it all for Kagome.

Poor Inuyasha. He wouldn’t be letting go of the guilt for a long time, especially if Kagome remained unconscious. Miroku prayed that the herbs they had obtained from Jeninji would bring her around. He didn’t want to think of the scenario if Kagome’s health got worse.

Night fell, and still Inuyasha worked by the firelight. In the end, Miroku had to take the tool right out of Inuyasha’s hands.

“Come on.” Miroku said. “We both need a bath, and I know I can talk Kaede out of some rice.”

Inuyasha went reluctantly, but as he walked, he noticed he could only smell sawdust and honest sweat. Before they left the bamboo grove, Miroku and Inuyasha turned to look at the progress that had been made in only one day. The men of the village had worked diligently too. The floor was finished, the walls were up, and the roof was begun. Inuyasha had made enough shingles to cover the roof on the next day. Satisfied, Miroku turned away and headed for the hot springs with Inuyasha trailing behind him.

They were the only ones to use the baths at that time. Everyone was either eating, or already abed. Inuyasha was sitting in the deeper water, the level up to his nose, and the heat of it making the inner part of his ears almost red. Miroku was soaking in a slightly cooler part of the pool, letting the water ease away the pain in his muscles.

“Miroku?” Inuyasha asked in that quiet voice he sometimes used.

“Yes, Inuyasha?” Miroku answered softly. This voice always meant something important to the hanyou.

“Do you love Sango?”

The question caught Miroku by surprise.

“I do.” Miroku replied. “I have told her so.”

“I don’t understand.” Inuyasha said with what sounded to Miroku like a sigh. “You chase other women around all the time. How is that love?”

“I used to chase women.” Miroku corrected with a rueful grin. “Ever since Mount Hakurei, things have…changed.”

“How?” Inuyasha questioned.

“That is when I finally understood that Sango was not merely a conquest to be won.” The monk confessed, knowing that his friend needed his honesty. “Sango was the woman I would die for, and couldn’t go on without. I respect her too much to let my eye, or anything else wander.”

“When did you tell her?” Inuyasha asked.

“Before we found you under the mountain. We thought we were going to die.” Miroku said, his voice a little lower as he remembered. “It was then that I pledged what life I thought I had left to Sango, and told her that I loved her. She said the same to me, and though I begged her to try and flee, she would not leave my side.”

“Women are such baka.” Inuyasha stated.

“What do you mean?” Miroku inquired.

“If Kagome hadn’t…” Inuyasha paused, and Miroku could instantly tell that this type of talk was hard on his friend.

“If Kagome hadn’t tried to bring me back, I wouldn’t have hurt her.” Inuyasha blurted out. “I’m not saying it’s her fault, but she just shouldn’t have.”

“Ah,” Miroku said with a nod. “but that is what love does. It makes us unmindful of our own welfare if it will mean saving the one we love. You do it for Kagome all the time. We all know how much she means to you.”

“I do it for you guys too.” Inuyasha snorted. “It’s the same the other way around too.”

“Yes,” Miroku agreed, “and it speaks much of your humanity, but that is a different kind of love, and you know it. The love that I have for Sango will lead to certain intimacies.”

“Pervert.” Inuyasha said.

“Perhaps,” Miroku said, “but anything that Sango and I do together will not be a perversion, I assure you.”

“It won’t?” Inuyasha questioned. “Why not?”

“Because I love her.” Miroku answered. “Sango is a very beautiful woman, and I truly love her. How could that lead to something disgusting or wrong? Listen, Inuyasha. What a man and a woman do to each other when in love is a beautiful thing.”

Inuyasha took the time to mull over what Miroku had said.

“What about between a Hanyou and a Human?” Inuyasha posed in a quiet voice.

“Of course!” Miroku said with a smile. “Think, Inuyasha. Your father loved your mother enough to die for her. He was a full-blooded demon and she a human. Their love made you. Their love brought you into this world, and your father’s love made sure that you and Izayoi would survive.

“Even Sesshoumaru, as cold as he is, loves Rin. I’m sure of it.” Miroku added. “We do not know why, and though he may deny it, he cannot hide that he truly cares for that little girl.”

“Naraku’s a hanyou too.” Inuyasha thought. “Onigumo’s heart loved Kikyo, but what a demon can’t love, he destroys. Naraku killed Kikyo…twice… Will I kill Kagome some day?”

“So you see, my friend,” Miroku continued, not knowing Inuyasha’s thoughts, “even Demons and Hanyou can love.”

Miroku, believing the subject closed, made to climb out of the water.

“I never told her.” Inuyasha said.

“Never told who, what?” Miroku questioned.

“I never told Kagome how I really feel.” Inuyasha said in a tone that wrenched Miroku’s heart. “Things were so twisted up with Kikyo and all.”

“Well maybe you should.” Miroku suggested. “I know Kagome longs to hear the words of your heart.”

“How can I say ‘I love you’ if I’ll just turn around and slice her up someday?” Inuyasha asked sharply. “I don’t’ even deserve the love she has for me.”

Miroku had dried himself off and was donning a clean robe. He came nearer to where Inuyasha was in the spring and squatted down.

“Listen to me, Inuyasha.” Miroku said firmly. “First of all, everyone deserves love. Even you. Secondly, we’re trying to ensure that what happened the other day does not happen again. While we cannot excise your father’s demon blood, there may be other ways besides the Tetsusaiga to keep it quiescent. Thirdly, you can say ‘I love you’ because it’s true, isn’t it? Remember, Kagome deserves love too.”

“If I could find the Jewel Shards without her, I’d send her home.” Inuyasha said. “She’d be better off without me.”

“A noble sacrifice, my friend.” Miroku said, laying a hand on Inuyasha’s shoulder. “It speaks of your love that you would give Kagome up to try and make her happy. You are mistaken though. It would break Kagome’s heart if you sent her away. You know it too. She has come back every single time you’ve tried to keep her away. She only wants you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Inuyasha’s thoughts replied.

Inuyasha let Miroku depart before climbing out of the hot spring. He was in the middle of a good shake when he smelled Kaede. She was polite enough to keep her distance, but called out, not knowing that Inuyasha was aware of her approach.

“What is it?” Inuyasha answered her, reaching for his robes.

”Kagome is awake.” Kaede told him. “She’s calling for you.”

Kaede caught Inuyasha by the arm as he tried to dash past her.

“Think, lad.” Kaede scolded, steadily keeping her one good eye on his face. “Might ye want to put ye clothes on? Ye’ll scare Kagome back into unconsciousness.”

Inuyasha’s face when as red as the robes that were still in his hand. He darted back into the enclosure near the spring and hurriedly thrust his limbs into his hakama and robes.

“Don’t ye go bursting in.” Kaede warned. “She’s very weak, so ye be nice and gentle, or ye’ll stay out till the morrow.”

Moving with a preternatural speed that he’d never achieved before; Inuyasha was almost instantly at the door of Kaede’s hut. He remembered the old woman’s warnings, and paused to calm himself before going inside.

The interior was warm, and the air was thick with Kaede’s medicines. It didn’t matter. The only thing Inuyasha could smell was the frail human girl lying beneath blankets in the sleeping area. Kagome’s eyes were closed when Inuyasha entered, but she must have heard him, for her eyelids rose a fraction, and she found her voice.

“Inuyasha.” She said in a near whisper, and then smiled weakly.

Inuyasha was on the floor, kneeling beside her at once.

“Kagome…” Inuyasha could articulate no more than her name. All the things he wanted to say were jammed up in his throat.

“You’re okay.” Kagome said in that poor parody of her regular tone. “I was so worried about you.”

Inuyasha blanched. She was worried about him? Didn’t she realize what he had done?

“I’m so sorry, Kagome.” Inuyasha forced the words out. “I wouldn’t have hurt you in a million years.”

“I’ll be fine.” Kagome said, denying his guilt. “I just need a little more rest.”

“You’ve been unconscious for four days.” Inuyasha told her. “Kagome, I thought I killed you.”

Kagome smiled again, making Inuyasha want to vomit.

“Don’t be silly.” Kagome said. “It’s not that bad.” She made to move the blankets away – to show Inuyasha the truth of her words. Her movements were thankfully slow, as Inuyasha caught up her hand to prevent her.

“Please.” Inuyasha begged Kagome as tears stung his eyes. “Don’t. I know what I did.”

In truth, Inuyasha remembered none of his transformation. He never did. He’d only seen the aftermath, and the memory of that would stay with him for the remainder of his very long life. Kagome fell silent, the expression in her eyes curiously sympathetic.

“You were really worried about me?” Kagome asked at last.

“Of course.” Inuyasha replied. “I don’t know why you’re always surprised by that. I thought you knew how much I care about you.”

He usually said little about his emotions. He felt Kagome’s fingers flex as she squeezed his hand. The feeling of tears rose up in him once more.

“Inuyasha?” Kagome asked softly.

“Yes, Kagome?”

“Would you hold me?”

It was if Kagome had read his mind, for he wanted nothing more than to do just that.

It always astonished Inuyasha how light and slender Kagome was. Once in his arms, Kagome sighed contentedly with a slight smile on her lips, and then fell silent. Inuyasha sat there, his head bowed over her, and his golden eyes locked on her face. Her breathing became more even, and he knew she’d fallen asleep.

Inuyasha watched Kagome as she slept. She was so beautiful. It was true, she resembled Kikyo, but that wasn’t why Inuyasha loved her. Where Kikyo’s countenance held a definite hardness, Kagome’s was soft and somehow almost demanding that she be trusted. Her blue-black hair was shorter than Kikyo’s, and was never tied up. Inuyasha had longed to run his fingers through her thick tresses for a very long time. Her hair always smelled clean with a slight scent of citrus.

Hesitantly, Inuyasha touched a lock of Kagome’s hair. It was so soft! He twirled the end around his finger, marveling at the texture. The urge to weep finally overwhelmed him and he smelled the saltwater of his own tears as he cried without making a sound.

It was a release he’d denied himself since his mother, Izayoi, had died. He hadn’t understood that as a hanyou, he would grow very slowly, both in body and in mind. He was nearly fifty when Izayoi had passed, but he was only a child of eight or nine in appearance.

She had tried to protect him from the cruelties of her clan – a clan that despised the little hanyou. Once she was gone, so too was her protection. Her family had very quickly driven him from the castle. Miroku had hinted that he knew Inuyasha had no home, but the houshi would have been surprised if he’d known how long Inuyasha had been alone.

One hundred years and thousands of miles had passed beneath Inuyasha’s bare feet. He knew the Western lands even better than his half-brother, Sesshoumaru, who claimed to be Lord of them did He’d eaten when he found food, which wasn’t that often. He’d found shelter when he could, and braved the elements when he couldn’t. There was no other choice for the half-demon.

The time he had spent with Kikyo had been but a blink of his golden eyes in the span of his years, but to Inuyasha, that time stood still in his memory. Kikyo had tamed some of his wildness. She had taught him to trust, and to see his own value. Kikyo had taught him to love.

Naraku had taken it all away. He had destroyed them both with guile and deception. Kikyo had sealed Inuyasha to the goshinboku tree before dying from her wounds. Part of Inuyasha had died with her. It was every part of him that she had tamed or loved. He hadn’t cried for the loss. There was enough youkai in him to hold those tears back. In fact, he might have turned into the mirror of Sesshoumaru, cold, emotionless and unloving had it not been for a timely accident.

Kagome had broken Kikyo’s seal. Kagome had fended off his initial anger and through sheer determination, had taught him to trust her as he had trusted Kikyo. He wept because she had saved him from so many things, but most of all; Kagome had saved Inuyasha from himself.

Inuyasha supposed that Sesshoumaru would have snorted in derision had he seen his brother’s un-youkai tears. He probably would have called him all manner of derogatory names, even now that they were allies of a sort. They were both intent on Naraku’s death. It was enough to bring them to an uneasy truce, but not a true friendship. Inuyasha didn’t think even a truce were possible had it not been for Kagome. She’d been the one to convince Inuyasha to keep his sword sheathed when his brother was around. She’d opened the door for the alliance.

In essence, Kagome did more for Inuyasha than Kikyo ever had. Kikyo had tried to turn him into a human, and she would have done it too, were it not for Naraku’s treachery. Kagome accepted him for what he was; Hanyou. Half Inu-youkai, and half Mortal. She loved him as a hanyou, and as the human he became on that one night a month. She didn’t try to change him, not really. She hardly used the enchanted beads any more. She didn’t order him to act any certain way, only suggesting he look at things a different way, or take the time to think it all through before he acted.

As Inuyasha’s mind churned these thoughts, his silent weeping slowly subsided. His tears would not help heal Kagome. He had to be strong for her. The single curl was still wrapped around his finger. Without thinking, he slid the rest of his hand into the thick mantle of her hair.

Kagome sighed in her sleep, a contented sound that sent a chill racing over Inuyasha’s skin. She liked that? No, it was probably just a coincidence. She was asleep. Yet, there was still the hint of a smile playing on her lips.

Inuyasha understood nothing of the workings of the body; his own, or anyone else’s. Izayoi’s clan had instilled nothing but shame in him – the dirty little hanyou – and he believed what he had been taught. Even on the rare occasions when he had gone off alone to relieve the aching tension of an erection, he derived no pleasure from it or at least very little. He’d always slink back to the campsite guilt-ridden and disgusted with himself, confused and betrayed by his body.

He did notice that Kagome had a great deal to do with the hardening of his member. It grew if he watched her too long, when it turned into wanting that he couldn’t describe. It grew if her clothes were disheveled and he saw more of her than her outlandish garb usually revealed. Perversely, it grew when she was dressed in the clothing of a miko. It always grew when they kissed, which wasn’t that often. It jumped to immediate attention if she touched his ears. Inuyasha blushed, remembering the day Kagome had broken the seal.

He had awoken from the long sleep of Kikyo’s spell in that manner, Kagome’s firm little fingers working his ears and a rather large erection twitching inside his hakama. If it weren’t for a strategically placed vine hiding his excitement and the threat of Mistress Centipede, Kagome might have been very surprised indeed. Inuyasha’s blush grew deeper when he thought about the time that Kagome’s mother had stroked his ears. Now that had been embarrassing!

Inuyasha sighed. His hand moved in Kagome’s hair and she made that contented sound again. Intrigued, Inuyasha fondled her tresses and watched, amazed, as Kagome nestled deeper into his embrace. No. Inuyasha stopped himself. This was wrong! Kagome was still very sick; he shouldn’t be playing with her like this.

Kaede chose this moment to return and Inuyasha was inwardly grateful. The old woman was curiously quiet as she took in the scene. She hadn’t seen Inuyasha like this in more than fifty years. Kaede shook her head remembering what a naughty child she had been. She’d spied upon Kikyo and Inuyasha many times, and she’d witnessed the gentle look in the hanyou’s strange eyes.

“Come, Inuyasha.” Kaede beckoned. “I’ve left ye longer than I should have.”

She didn’t need to tell him to be careful. Inuyasha laid Kagome down as sensitively as he could and did so without waking her. Despite Kaede’s eye upon him, he kissed Kagome’s forehead and padded softly away.

“Ye’ll be back in the morning?” Kaede asked.

“No.” Inuyasha said, surprising Kaede.

“Ye’ll not?”

“No.” Inuyasha repeated. “I have somewhere to go.”

“What shall I tell Kagome when she asks for ye?” Kaede questioned.

“Tell her to rest well and recover.” Inuyasha instructed. “She’ll need it for all the surprises coming her way.”

Without explaining himself, Inuyasha took his leave. Kaede eyed his retreating back and then let the door flap fall.