Consequences

Gods why is this happening?

Rin lay curled into a tiny ball.

He had…done it to her again this morning, before quietly slipping away. 

She wanted to cry, but she feared she had no tears left.  Her eyes were swollen, and she was absolutely helpless.  She felt betrayed.  She loved Lord Sesshomaru, but not like this…she didn’t want this.

She wanted to go back to things being different.  This was terrifying, and embarrassing.  She didn’t even know if she had the right to be upset any more.  He made her like it, and she was realizing that was even worse than experincing it against her will.

And the things he did…

Rin had no idea that people did these kinds of things.  When he put his mouth on her she immediately thought it was disgusting—how could he place his mouth in the same spot where she peed?

But it had been such a wonderful, amazing, mind-numbing thing to feel.  She had wanted it to end, to escape, and yet she wanted it to never end.

Rin had never felt so conflicted in all of her fourteen years. 

I have to leave.

But the thought of abandoning her family…was not to be born.  But how could she stay? 

What should she do?  If she left, and was caught, he would punish her.  He would do something awful.

And then she had an idea.

She wrapped her robe around her and ran down the hall, tripping more than once, until she found Jaken.

‘J-Jaken, I need your help.’

Jaken looked…not surprised.  But he looked wary.

‘No.  I only served my lord.  If he wants to make you his…concubine, then that is what you shall be.  I will not.’

‘Jaken, please!” She collapsed, begging with her hands clasped, ‘Please!  I-I am afraid.’

He shruged, ‘Rin, you will not get any aid from me—

‘And begging does not become you,’ A cold voice said.

Jaken let out a cry of fear, and she froze.

‘So you wish to leave me?’

She was too afraid to turn around.  Too afraid to speak.

She could feel his anger, radiating off of him. 

‘I-I—‘

‘Very well.  Jaken, we are leaving.’

‘Yes, my lord.’

Rin felt herself begin to panic.  Why was it she was in the wrong. Why did she feel as if she had somehow betrayed him?  He was the one who had hurt her!

She turned to voice her opinions, but the room was empty.

She was alone. 

Again.