Virginity of the Soul

A/N: Waaaat. An update already? What is going on! Ahah. Kidding. Not really. Gosh, thank you so much for all the love guys. Seriously. It pumped me to write. Thank you for not giving up on me.

Side note: The last two weeks were hell. Finals. No sleep. Too much caffeine. Also, I have the worst cold. Therefor, I shall not be held responsible for any crazyness, mistakes or none sense you might find in this chapter! ** Again, you can keep track of the next update % completion on my profile page.

Virginity of the Soul

Chapter 9: Rehabilitation

He was never as grateful as now that youkais could go without air for so long.

Right now, his heart did not beat, he did not breathe and he did not even move. Instead, his eyes were locked on her tiny belly. He heard her words but they felt very far away and his state of shock was too great. He planned most of his actions. Usually, what he did had a purpose. However, he admitted that he did not think this would be the outcome of their activities. They did get together once during her heat but it - it was once. Not only that but since they were not mated there were even less chances that his seed would take.

This was not his goal.

His goal was for her to be his mate. Then, they would have pups.

It was all backwards.

Once the shock wore off, he exhaled and raised his gaze to meet her eyes. He almost expected to see anger or fear in her eyes but he saw neither. Instead, she looked rather determined.

"You wish for money?" he finally chose to say.

She clenched her jaw as his insult hit her full force. His words only convinced her further that this was a terrible mistake. "No, I do not want your money. Do you think this is why I'm here?"

"I do not see another explanation for your presence." Now he felt her anger and the intensity of it was almost enough to make him take back his words.

"I'm here because I wanted to tell you I'm pregnant. You can do whatever you want with that piece of information. I just thought you should know." As much as she did not want to admit it at first, her mother was right. This was the right thing to do and no matter how much he frustrated her, it was his right to know. She closed up her coat and rose to her feet. "Trust me, I don't need your help."

"It could also be my brother's."

Her fingers closed into a fist. "You know damn well it can't be." Why did she even try to convince herself that he could have a heart?

In the past, they barley spoke and perhaps it was best that way. He turned out to be the cold hearted jerk she expected him to be. There was nothing kind about Sesshomaru. "I don't know why you wanted more. You don't want anyone in your life! You think you do, or you think you're supposed to… but you don't want to be with anyone but yourself. You're a jerk. Are you really that surprised I said no? We're very different people. I'm not even sure you have a heart."

All the hatred she felt stirring inside of her was not totally directed at him. She was angry at her situation, the mess in her life and the people she lost. However, with his asshole attitude, he made it very easy to take it all out on him. She tried to make this a peaceful situation and he was only trying to be as much of a jerk as possible.

"I was just trying to be a decent human being. You should try it sometimes."

His eyes narrowed but he said nothing. A sigh escaped her and then she turned around and left his office. She slammed the door on her way out but he did not flinch. Instead, Sesshomaru slouched in his seat. She did bruise his ego. How else did she think he was going to react? This was his first time seeing her since then. Perhaps the insult was too much. Sesshomaru was aware that the only man in her life recently was him. He made sure he was unforgettable. Though it did not seem as though he made a good impression.

Sesshomaru scoffed.

A pup.

Did she really think he would simply let her walk away? He could no longer do that. She made it more and more obvious every day that she did not know the first thing about him. He had honor, unlike his brother, and he would not leave her on her own. Also, this pup was his - and his heir. There was no way he could let his heir be raised without a father. This was not what he planned, especially not when it came to Kagome, but he would have to make it work somehow.

If he intended on being part of this pup's life that meant his own family would be aware of its existence. That included Inuyasha. Oh how unpleased the bastard would be. Especially since Sesshomaru was convinced Inuyasha intended on getting Kagome back. There was absolutely no way that was possible now and not only because Kagome would not want his lying half-brother back; he was convinced Inuyasha did not want to raise Sesshomaru's child.

His father's reaction would probably not be great either. The older inuyoukai seemed to firmly believe it was best they did not mingle with Kagome ever again. Not only because of the tense situation but because they also messed enough with Kagome's life. Although, now it was impossible for Sesshomaru to stay away from her. Even if the pup was his only interest he would have to deal with her sometimes.

Deciding that it would be best to get the bad part out of the way, Sesshomaru picked up his cellphone and called his father.

"There is a situation," he said when his father picked up.

Then he hung up without letting his father speak. This news was best delivered in person.

He sat back straight in his chair and let the realization sink in.

He was going to be a father.

-V-

"I hope you know what the right course of action is this time."

He was irritated. At least, it was the most polite way he could put his feelings. He expected the situation to be tense for a while but he thought that with time, it would get better. Now, he did not see that happening. He already doubted Inuyasha would forgive Sesshomaru his previous offence but now this? He would never forgive this. Also, there was now a child who had to grow up with… those two as its parents. Although he did not doubt Kagome's skills to be a mother, the situation between her and Sesshomaru would make it difficult and he knew it would not be peaceful.

Kagome was stubborn and so was his son. This would not end well.

"I know what I am supposed to do, father."

"Are you certain of that? You seemed to prefer following the wrong path lately."

"It was not a mistake. He did not care for her and he did not mate her."

"He married her. It is enough."

Sometimes, his son was too youkai for this new world. Marriage meant something and he needed to stop ignoring its significance. Nonetheless, Inutaisho knew his youngest son and how he often looked for reasons to explain his bad behaviour. Inuyasha often got in trouble because he did not think enough and he wanted too much. Regardless, it was a problem Kagome and Inuyasha should have taken care of without the intervention of Sesshomaru.

"They are divorcing."

As a matter of fact, it was perfect since it would be rather shameful if Kagome was still married to Inuyasha while carrying Sesshomaru's child. Although… when Inuyasha would find out about this, he might just drag on the divorce procedures just to piss off Sesshomaru.

"Do you intent on proposing to her?" It might be the honorable thing to do but Inutaisho was not certain it was the right thing to do.

"I have no intention of doing so. Our relationship is not like that. I will however provide for my child and her if she requires assistance." She was the mother of his unborn child and if she required money to live he would not deny her that.

Also, proposing was absolutely pointless. If she refused the mating, she had no intention of marrying him hence why he would not ask. That ship sailed a long time ago. Yet, the more he thought about it, the more his heart ached. He picked her; he was sure she would be his. Now, he had to watch all of his dreams being taken from him. She ruined the life he wanted to have.

"Perhaps you two should begin by having a civilized conversation with each other."

Could his father sense that his latest encounter with Kagome did not go well? Though he was not the only one to blame for that.

"Also, I will be the one to share this news with your brother when the time is right."

"I can do it myself."

"You will gloat. Then, your brother will feel provoked and I have no intention of letting you two fight again." When egos were involved it was dangerous. Last time, Sesshomaru could have killed Inuyasha. Who knew what would happen if Inuyasha truly lost it and was a danger to Sesshomaru? He would not risk it.

"You are to remain silent about this until I have spoken to him. I will make sure you two are extremely far from each other. Do not taunt him. Do you understand me?"

Sesshomaru nodded even though he was clearly displeased with his father's orders.

"I am also fairly sure you owe Kagome an apology. She currently lives with her mother - if you need to contact her."

That was his father's last words before he angrily left the office.

Sesshomaru sighed and glared at his phone; he had a feeling she wanted to see him just as little as he wanted to see her.

-V-

When Kagome came back home less than pleased, Miyu did not ask any questions. She watched as her daughter spent a few days locked up in her bedroom, only coming out to eat. She wanted to speak, to tell her she was there for her but sometimes Kagome needed to time to deal with things her own way. There was not much she could tell her anyway that she had not already said before. Nonetheless, it left her worried. She wished she could take all of her daughter's pain away.

Lost in her thoughts, and quietly preparing dinner for her whole family, she was disrupted by a knock on the door. She frowned since she was not expecting anyone, and she slowly walked to the door. Who she found behind was a stranger and yet she immediately recognized him. Silver hair, amber eyes… but was not Inuyasha. It could only be one person.

"Sesshomaru," she greeted rather politely.

"Hello Mrs. Higurashi." He bowed. "Is your daughter home?" His arms were crossed behind his back and he stood straight.

Miyu looked at the stairs from the corner of her eyes and wondered. She did not wish to force a decision upon Kagome. Clearly this man was not someone she wanted to see and Miyu would be mad at herself if she let her daughter get more hurt. "I do not think she wishes to speak with you."

"Could you ask her… please?" He did not like that word but he did not want to be disrespectful. Also, this conversation really needed to happen.

She pinched her lips before sighing. She slightly opened the door to let him in and then closed it behind him. "Wait here, please," she said before going upstairs to Kagome's room.

Miyu gently knocked and waited for her daughter to reply.

She heard her shuffling around before Kagome came into sight. "Yes?"

"Someone is at the door for you."

Miyu did not even have to say who it was. Sesshomaru, who could hear their every words, flared up his aura to signal his presence. Kagome's body tensed up and she jerked her head back. Of course it was him. The audacity of that man! Who did he think he was to come to her house like that, completely uninvited? After the way he treated her when she tried to have a civilized conversation with him, the least he could have done was call ahead or just not show up at all.

Though, there was the crazy possibility that he came to apologize and discuss this like adults. Also, knowing Sesshomaru if he went through the trouble of showing up at her house then this was not the last time she would see him. The best way to go about this was to deal with him now. Plus it was not as if their dilemma was going away any time soon. This baby was happening no matter what.

"I'll go," Kagome said as she exited her bedroom.

Her steps were slow almost as if she dreaded the moment she would have to look at him. As soon as she came into view, he locked his eyes on her and watched her every movements.

She politely greeted him with a nod. "Can I help you with something?"

"We need to talk."

"I tried that earlier but you didn't think we had anything to discuss."

Her attitude and her aura flared up but he kept himself in check. Not only was he supposed to talk to her but he did not think it was a smart idea for a youkai to use his youki in holy grounds. He did not know if anything would happen but he had no desire to find out.

"My attitude was less than appropriate and I wish for us to revisit our conversation and try to find a solution to our current problem."

She raised an eyebrow. "There is no us. Also, this is not a problem. Maybe it is for you but it's not for me."

It was unexpected and very messed up on many different level but she did not regret this. Plus, she was a bit to blame for it and should not have engaged in intercourse if she did not want such an outcome. But she did, and she would love her child and this was not a problem.

"I was mostly referring to the situation between you and I."

Sesshomaru was trying not to smirk. Her reaction was rather pleasing, then again, he always knew she would make a great mother.

"Come in," she said, offering no apology.

At first she thought about going into the kitchen but she then realized that the topic of that conversation should probably not be held in such a family room. She did not really want her mother to hear everything they would say. She knew she could keep it polite and civilized but she was not convinced Sesshomaru would do the same. Instead, she opted for her bedroom even if that could appear to be the less appropriate choice. She went up the stairs, never turning her heard, and she heard his footsteps echoing behind her. He followed her without asking any questions and his compliance nearly made her suspicious.

Once they reached the bedroom, she let him go inside first. She closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed while he took a seat on her desk chair.

Then, there was silence.

He looked at her and she looked back at him.

There was no way she was speaking first. She did that already and it did not end well. Plus, he was the one who came to her so if he wanted to fix the problem, as he so nicely put it, he would have to initiate the conversation.

"I will be a part of this child's life." As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized it might have been better for the sake of a smooth conversation to say wish instead of will but it was too late now.

She arched an eyebrow and her tongue flickered against her palate. "That's fine," she settled on.

Clearly she was very different from his usual companions for him to think that now that he knew, she would keep him away from the child. She did not want to share the news with him at first but considering everything…her judgment was clouded. She knew she would have ended up telling him no matter what.

When silence filled the room again, she sighed. "Is that it? Is that your solution?"

"I do believe our relationship will have to improve. For the sake of the child," he clarified.

"I'm not the one who has a problem being civilized. You walked out on me. You were the rude one."

He was also the one proposing an honourable bond between the two of them instead of just sex. Obviously, she did not even think of pointing out that fact did she? He sighed. "My behaviour last time was not adequate."

'That's a way to put it." He was trying. Maybe she should not be too harsh with him but the urge was too strong especially since he was not putting up a fight.

"I also will provide financially."

"I don't need your money."

That did not surprise him. "I will not give you money for you. That money will be for my child."

Despite his attitude, despite how he acted sometimes… he was not a terrible person. He never let her find out much about him but now he was showing her a glimpse of a good person. Not everyone would be willing to take on this responsibility and even if he was doing out of pride and honor, she was glad he had some decency.

Thinking about that brought forward a question. She should probably not ask it, but there might not be another time to do it. "Why did you ask me?"

"I have no idea what you are referring to."

There was the hint of a challenge in his voice and she knew he did not think she would clarify her question. He did not know her that well then. "Why did you ask me to mate you?"

She did not know when to drop it did she? Did she not notice with his terrible attitude that this was not a pleasant topic of conversation for him? Or maybe she did know and she was simply doing this to spite him. Whatever the reason, he would not give her the satisfaction of enraging him. "It was a mistake."

"I know. But why did you even want to ask?"

Now he had two, maybe three choices. He could either be an asshole and tell her he wished to mate her simply to piss off his little brother, or he could tell her the truth or he could lie and tell her it happened in the moment he did not mean it. Somehow, he was not certain she would believe any of those options. She might not know him but she should know better than to think he would ask something he did not mean. Also, he could not be an asshole and tell her it was all to upset Inuyasha. It was a rather permanent way to piss off his brother and it would not have made any sense. Then again, she probably did not know much about mating.

She watched him while he remained silent. It should not be so hard to answer. He did ask, did he not? He must have had a reason for that.

"Despite how trivial my brother made it look, we do not take sex lightly. It holds a significance. I simply got caught up in the moment."

His answer only hurt her more. Not because he said he did not mean the mating but because he revealed that Inuyasha's attachment to Kanna was more than just sex. And she hated that thought. She already knew, she always knew, especially since apparently only Kanna understood him, but this only confirmed it.

"I see," she croaked out, her voice shaking.

She believed him. It was almost upsetting. As if he would ask any whores he slept with to mate him. Perhaps their lack of communication and knowledge of each other was becoming a problem. Although… he did know about her. She on the other hand did not know the first thing about him.

"Well," she said before clearing her throat. "I will not accept any money from you but you can provide for the child if you want." She did not want him to cover all the costs but if he wanted to buy certain things she could hardly forbid it.

"Where will you live?"

"Here. Unless I manage to save up for an apartment in time." She could see his mouth twitching. "No, you don't have a say on where I live. I don't need you to take care of me."

It was almost funny for him to watch her have such an attitude. He always knew she was strong but every time he saw her during family event she appeared so sweet and then every time they met up, she was oh so willing to submit. He could now confirmed that her submissive attitude was in the bedroom only. It made him wonder how Inuyasha even manage to cheat on her. Love did make her disgustingly blind. Humans so easily let their emotions cloud their judgement. He almost made that mistake with her.

"How will we manage the custody?"

"What?"

"The custody. I do intend on seeing my child."

At this words, she grew extremely possessive of the unborn child growing inside of her. It was hers. And his too. A little. It was going to be tiny and defenceless. It would need her. Plus, he was busy. He was big shot business guy. He did not have time; he would not make time. "Eventually, we can," she paused to find the right word, "share custody."

He arched an eyebrow. "Eventually?"

"He or she is going to need me a lot in the beginning."

She was already very attached. She could not imagine how she would feel after carrying it and going through the process of giving birth. There was no way she would be able to let go.

For the first time since their conversation began, he stood up. He did not appreciate the way she claimed to have all the control. He did not like that she thought she could make all the decisions and he simply had to go along with it. She already chose they were to be nothing. How much more of his life would she control?

"This is my child as well. You do not hold all the power. You cannot make all the decisions on your own."

She squinted her eyes and glared at him. His aura flared, not intentionally though. His imposing stance though did force her to copy him. She got on her feet as well and leaned forward. "I didn't have to tell you."

"But you did. I have a say in the decisions regarding my heir."

"Maybe I don't want your input."

He clenched his jaw and took another step forward.

"I will not be ignored."

"You might have made the rules when you decided I was your play thing, but this is different."

"My play thing?"

"That's what I was to you, right?"

Fucking her was the only way he had to seduce her. He could be powerful and cruel with words but he could not be charming. He showed her what he wanted and he managed to get her. That was what he tried to do. Despite the fact that she married his brother, she was a respectable woman. He never saw her as just a simple fuck. He was furious.

"Is that what you wished to be? Do you have no self-respect?"

This time, it was her turn to be enraged. She raised her hand and without thinking, she went to strike him. Unfortunately for her, he was too fast. He caught her wrist before her palm made contact with his cheek. His golden eyes were tinted red while he squeezed. She almost yelped in pain but she held it back.

Sesshomaru used his hold on her to bring her forward. In one yank, he caused her chest to collide with his. "Who do you think you are?"

"Who do you think you are," she spat out. "You don't know me. You don't get to talk to me like that."

"Then do not act like a cheap whore."

Her hand twitched in his hold but he did not release her. He saw the rage shine in her eyes and it only caused him to bring her closer. Her head was tilted up, her chin touching his chest. She never looked away and maintained his gaze.

"I'm the cheap whore? Really? Because I'm not the one who spends her lonely nights in a sex club."

It was all because of her. He did that because he was frustrated, because he would not find another one like her. How was it his fault that she was not smart enough to realize he was much better than his half-brother? He was forced to go to such clubs! Also, ever since they saw each other there, he did not return to that awful place. He could not. If he went there, he would re-live their little moment over and over again.

This time he released her wrist and instead gripped her waist with both of his hands. His action lifted her off the ground until the tip of her toes were barely grazing the ground. Her warm breath puffed against his skin and their noses bumped.

"It was your fault."

"It was my fault that before I met you, you went there?" she replied in a hush. She was not sure why she was whispering. Maybe it was the proximity of their faces.

The little temptress. If he let his control slip anymore than he already had, he would have told her the whole truth. She did not deserve to know how much power she held over him. No.

When he fell silent and did not answer, her curiosity was awoken once more. All his answers, or lack of, were suspicious. There was something odd she was missing but she did not know what it was.

"Well? How was it my fault?"

She challenged him. Again. How much did she think his ego could take? How much of his pride did she have to destroy before it was enough? She kept stepping all over him over and over again.

Her eyes demanded an answer and it clouded his mind with rage. It seemed that she learned to underestimate him. He might have let her off easy every time but it did not mean he was not dangerous. He tightened his grip on her and he watched as her face twitched in pain.

"You are well aware of what you did."

She had to know how beautiful, mesmerizing, talented and desirable she was. She knew and she was playing him just like she played him this entire time. Did she not tell him time after time that she was his? And yet, when he tried to make it official she refused it. He even waited until she knew she did not owe his brother anything. But her answer was still negative.

She took him for a fool.

"You did all of this on purpose."

She took his control away and he let her.

"Did you enjoy it?"

His words made no sense. She did not even know what he accused her of doing. Did they not do everything he wanted to do?

He tugged her closer and their lips nearly met. "I gave you everything." And she did not want it.

"You gave me nothing." He did not want to.

What happened next confused them both; they kissed.

She swore he did it.

He insisted it was her.

However, neither stopped it.

Her hands tangled in his long silver hair and he dug his claws into her flesh.

She drove him to the brink of insanity.

He provoked an unstoppable rage inside of her.

His smooth hands glided down her side, caressing, feeling her flesh. Everywhere he touched, he left a trail, he left desire behind. Her skin was fire and his touch was a soothing balm. She needed more, she wanted more. She arched her back and let his fingertips trace her spine. Her lips were moist and wet when she pulled away by tipping her head backwards. Her bare, pale, inviting neck offered itself to him and he latched on to it. He trailed his fangs along the edge, all the way down to her collarbone. As he felt her pulse, the urge surge back but he ignored it.

Instead, he focused his attention on her breasts which were begging him to nibble on them. It was not desire, need or lust that drove him this time. It was rage. She ignited a fire and he did not know how to put it out.

Kagome felt in a trance; she had no control over her body. Everything was feeling and need. Her hands moved over his body, they trailed down his muscular chest and the desire to rip off his shirt was strong. How many times did they do this? How many times did they not care? It was wrong and he should not be here; she should not be here. There was the thought that they should stop but she never followed through with it.

More, more, more.

He tugged at her shirt, freeing her breasts. He nipped at them through her bra and she completely threw her head back. It angered him that she reacted so perfectly to his touch and yet she refused him. They both knew nobody would ever make her feel as good as he did. Nobody would touch her like he did. She would never melt in someone else's arms like she melted in his.

He wanted to continue this, he wanted to throw her on the ground until she begged for his cock. All that time spent apart; he did not realize how much it affected him, how much he missed the feeling of her smooth skin, of her legs wrapped around his waist - and oh he was sure he missed her tight, wet cunt. His control was thin and ready to snap at any moment. Her slender fingers were feeling, squeezing every inches of his body and reminding him of how much he craved her touch. He wanted to be mad at her, he wanted to hate her for everything she made him feel in the last few weeks but he could not. He needed that tiny, precious, desirable human girl.

She nipped and bit his bottom lip with wild passion driving her. This man, this youkai, provided her with what she required during a time of need. He fixed up the broken pieces and then, left her shaking and unsteady. Nonetheless, she was firmly certain that without his intervention in her life, she would still be with a cheating husband.

Sesshomaru made her feel wanted when no one else did. Sesshomaru took her and loved her body when nobody wanted to.

She was ice and he was fire. She craved to keep on melting.

It was all wrong and she should not do this. However, no matter how many times she repeated that to herself, she never pulled away. She was ridiculously attracted to the flames. Her life was a mess at the moment and the last time that happened, he was the answer. This time, he most certainly was not but her body seemed to think so. Treacherous body. His claws broke the skin as he made his way up to her breasts and he left a trail of blood behind. She hissed, she threw her head back and he never stopped his ministrations.

He wanted to dive between her legs and drink his fill of her sweet nectar. He wanted to watch her as she screamed his name. His cock was aching with need and his mind was dizzy with urge and passion. He thought he forgot everything about her but he remembered it all; every curve, every weakness. If she gave him the opportunity he would make her do whatever he wanted again. Why could she not stay obedient?

Then it happened.

The fatal moment, the moment that threw an ice bucket on their heads was when he moved his hands lower again and cupped her belly. As soon as that happened, they both stopped moving. He released her lips from his hold and his mouth remained opened. Their eyes met and neither of them said anything.

Actions had consequences.

They carelessly let themselves freely be with each other and this happened.

He carelessly gave her his heart and she stepped all over it.

She carelessly let herself have fun and he hated her for it.

They were getting caught up in the moment all over again.

Kagome was the first to move; she swallowed - hard. Sesshomaru released her stomach, which hurt him and he glanced away. She was carrying his child and holding her stomach made him more attracted to her than ever. It also reminded him that he would never get what he wanted. Even now, even if he fucked her right there on the floor, she would still not be his. She would never be. She was attracted to him but she would never love him. She would rather love a cheating bastard. Fucking her would satisfy him for the moment but it would not be enough. Fucking her did not satisfy the real need he had.

The desire, the need and the lust remained but the frustration and the defeat were too bittersweet for him to stay.

He pushed her away gently and walked out of her bedroom without ever looking at her again.

Kagome stood there, half naked and completely breathless. All she could do was helplessly watch him walk away from her. She did not move, she did not try to stop him. She thought she was strong but now, she was forced to admit it; Sesshomaru was an addiction, a very bad one. She rested her left hand on her stomach and she sighed. It only took one tiny invitation and she gave in. Did she not have any will power? She almost thought they were supposed to hate each other - at least that was what he made it look like.

But he did not hate her.

Someone who hated did not kiss like that.

He did not even try to resist her either.

For the first time, she was confused. There was more to his answer and to his feelings than he was letting on. The question was, why lie about it?

What did Sesshomaru truly want?

-V-