I Don’t Want a Mate

A/N: I'm glad you guys seemed to like the birth. They say to write what you know so I drew off of my childbirth. Though four years does dull the memory some. I did have a high break myself, that was a lot of waiting around. It's common enough that the doctors know how to handle it, but not common enough that every third person has one. So don't get all worried if you're pregnant. There was a lot of info I didn't add that I considered. I was highly tempted to put strain on Sess/Kag by making their pup allergic to milk like my son was, (that was 7wks of constant screaming until they figured it out) but I couldn't figure out how they'd feed him in the feudal era if not with breast milk. Big thanks to Yuki hime who stuck with me through this story.

Epilogue: It's Not Perfect

Their relationship wasn't perfect, but then no relationship was. They had their ups and downs, but in the end they had what counted the most. They loved each other and were happy.

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"Why won't he stop crying?" Sesshoumaru's head was killing him. It was the first night back from the hospital for his mate and pup; the two had spent two days there since she was a new mother. Kagome had received instruction on various things, like the proper way to breast feed; things she wouldn't have needed if she had other children because she would have already known.

The pup wouldn't stop crying and his ears were ringing from the high pitched wail. Kagome had tried rocking him, feeding him, talking to him, and everything they could think of, but nothing was working. His son's charcoal grey eyes opened and bore into his amber ones. For one blessed moment, there was silence. Sesshoumaru was just about to sigh in relief when another ear splitting wail tore from the tiny being before him. Fatherhood wasn't all that great tonight. He hoped tomorrow would be better.

It was Mrs. Higurashi who had finally come to the rescue. Apparently the first night home from the hospital was always stressful on a new born. She claimed it had happened to her with both of her children. She also reassured them that no matter how often he cried, that it didn't mean they were doing something wrong, but Kagome had started to have doubts on that account. All infants cry in an attempt to communicate and newborns were the worst. Everything was new and simply too much for them. New sights, sounds, smells, it was all to much. Sesshoumaru could sympathize. He had felt overwhelmed as well when he first came to the future. If he had been a small pup, perhaps he would have also resorted to crying. It was an interesting thought.

"Diasuke," Sesshoumaru whispered. His little pup was nestled in the crook of his arm finally asleep. "I hope you do not go through this again once we reach the Western Palace. You mother will need all the rest she can get until she recovers." Tiny clawed fingers were curled into two fists and tucked under his chin while he slept. Sesshoumaru marveled at how curly the silver hair was. Who knew that straight hair and wavy hair made curly hair? But he wasn't complaining, he was just happy his pup was healthy. He would have loved him even if he had been like other hanyous and was, less than attractive.

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"Sesshoumaru, some help here!" yelled Kagome. It was a diaper emergency. She had given her mother the night off telling her that she could handle her son. Things were not going as planned.

Entering the room set aside as a temporary nursery which was filled with all the old furniture from when Souta was a baby, Sesshoumaru's eyes nearly watered at the smell he encountered. The scene would have been humorous if it wasn't for the horrid smell. Kagome had their son on the changing table, both ankles grasped in one hand while attempting to change the pup. Diasuke's bottom was lifted off the table, however, it seemed that he wasn't finished with his diaper when she had attempted her task. His tail was dangerously close to moving into the 'problem area' as Diasuke wagged it happily while cooing at the attention he was receiving.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Kagome snipped frustrated. She was positive Diasuke had finished and she had gone to change him only to be placing the clean diaper under his little bum when he started pooping, again. It reminded her of soft served ice cream both in the consistency and the way it piled in the diaper. She wasn't sure she'd ever eat that particular dairy treat again. She was just thankful that he hadn't decided to pee on her like he had her brother the only time Souta had agreed to help. "Can you hand me another diaper, please? Oh, and the wipes. I'm going to need a lot of wipes."

Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly and grabbed a fresh diaper from the stack of disposables just out of her reach. "You do realize that Diasuke is in need of bathing? He has managed to soil his clothing as well."

"Oh, shit." Kagome exclaimed. Normally not predisposed to such language, she felt it was warranted in this instance now that she herself had some on her and her son needed a bath as well as a change of clothing and a new diaper. She felt like she was being pulled in too many directions. All she wanted was to clean up and then find a nice quite corner of the house to relax in.

"Precisely, mate." Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow at her. It really was fun to tease her when she was already riled up. It was also safe to tease her now that he didn't have to worry about her hating him. He was pleased that she had not only forgiven the circumstances around their mating, but had come to love him as well. He no longer felt the need to handle her with kid gloves and allowed his humor to come out on occasion. "Come, I will assist you."

Sighing Kagome followed her husband toward the bathroom. Her hands full of her son, one supporting his head while the other was attempting to prevent the open diaper from spilling it's contents all over everything. Sesshoumaru rolled up his sleeves and placed the baby bath into the larger tub. Rummaging around the bathroom, he found one of his mate's hair ties to secure his long mane. It would not do to have it soiled in the mess his son had made. He made sure the water was just right and after he was satisfied that he had everything he needed, he motioned Kagome over and gingerly took the pup from her. "Clean yourself up, Kagome, and then go rest. I will handle Diasuke from here."

"Thanks, Sesshoumaru." Leaning toward him she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before following his orders. Sesshoumaru's eyes softened as he shook his head again.

"You are giving you mother far to much trouble, little one." Sesshoumaru blinked twice at the sight of the gently cooing pup's dark charcoal eyes gazing adoringly into his own amber ones. Well the pup certainly looked happy and it was hard to believe, if you could ignore the smell and mess, that his son was guilty of driving his mother so close to insanity.

Having decided that the best way to tackle the problem was to place his son in the baby tub clothing and all he was unprepared for the sight of the poop halfway up his son's back when he removed the onesie. "How did you manage to get that mess up your back?" Sesshoumaru murmured but concluded that he didn't really want to know. He sighed and began the process of cleaning his pup. He was not pleased to find out from Kagome's mother that it was quite common for infants to poop out of their diapers until their feces went from an almost liquid consistency to a more solid form.

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It was his son's eyes that captivated him over the years and the boundless happiness that he seemed to exude. His precious pup's eyes were a deep charcoal grey when he was born, so dark it almost appeared black, and then they slowly faded to a deep blue. Somewhere along the lines the center of his eyes, near the pupil, turned a soft amber while the outer section of the iris remained blue. It was a striking combination of his parents, and Sesshoumaru adored it almost as much as his scion's personality. Thank the gods that he inherited his mother's outgoing, optimistic ways.

"What is he doing?" Sesshoumaru looked over at Kagome who was watching their son move.

"He's crawling." Kagome's face shinned in amusement. Diasuke had learned to crawl, only he learned a little differently. It reminded her of when she'd watch documentaries about the military. 'A low crawl I think that's what it's called.'

"How is that crawling?" His pup was making headway across the soft spring grass of the garden at a rapid rate. He was flat on his stomach for the most part. Reaching an arm out, he'd place his forearm down before moving the opposite leg forward keeping it flat on the ground. He'd then push with his leg and pull with his arm simultaneously before repeating the process.

"So, he's not crawling on his hands and knees. He's still getting where he wants to go." Kagome turned from the amusing site of her determined son to look at her confused mate. "I've seen something like it on TV at home. The military uses it to minimize injuries on the battlefield and to get under things low to the ground, like fences I think. If I'm not mistaken it's called a 'low crawl'."

Shaking his head, Sesshoumaru decided it really didn't matter. It's not as if his pup had other children to play with. None of the other nobles had pups close to his age. It was possible some of the servants did but they were far too afraid of him and his mate to allow them to play together. Perhaps it was time to contact the slayer and monk. If his memory was correct she had been pupped the last time he saw them. It had been over a year since they had seen the couple; the day after he had taken Kagome as his mate. He would send out a messenger. Looking at his mate, he realized that this was the most she smiled when not around him or their pup. 'Yes, she would do well with her companions returned to her.'

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Things had not gone the way Fusa had hoped. She had not been able to disgrace the human in her lord's eyes. The girl didn't break no matter how many vicious words were thrown at her. No matter how harsh she was toward, her the girl's spirit remained strong. It had been a hope that she could drive the human to run, or better yet drive her to such depths of depression that she took her own life taking the pup with her. Now they return from the girl's village with a male pup, an heir. The child looked and smelled like a pure youkai. It was his parentage that gave away the lie. His mother was human and no amount of looks or smell would change that. The little prince's scent proved that the human wench was indeed the mother. Fusa had hoped that her lord had bedded another before taking the human whore as a mate, that the child was being forced to pass as that woman's. The scent, however, was a mix of both her Lord Sesshoumaru's and his 'mate'.

It seemed, however, that the court was glossing over the fact that Diasuke was a hanyou. Everywhere she turned she heard the whispers of how powerful her lord's blood was to produce a full blooded heir from the miko. Worse were, the whispers of how powerful the miko was to accomplish such a thing; it had never happened before. Human and youkai who had offspring had hanyou, not youkai. No matter what the pup looked like it was still only a hanyou, yet the court seemed to forget that. Fusa wouldn't have it. She had to do something to get rid of the human filth and place herself as the Lady of the West. Only she deserved that honor. Only she was strong enough and sophisticated enough to stand by Lord Sesshoumaru's side.

Only she was able to handle the challenges of being his mate and lady. She would just have to find a way to prove it to him.

Fusa had enlisted the help of a minor lord for her plan. One who had desires of being raised from a minor youkai lord to a more major one. Promises of assisting him in gaining the land required for this advancement once she was installed as Lady, along with a few 'favors', was all it had required. The fool had been lusting after her for a while. Securing her obi again she left the guest wing of the palace and headed into the permanent residential section, where her own quarters resided. She was after all part of the permanent court unlike her 'friend'.

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Sesshoumaru looked at Keiji, his fury barely suppressed. Thin veins of red leaked into his vision temporarily clouding it till he blinked it away. "You are certain."

Keiji nodded. Both knew it was more a statement and less a question. Keiji would never have brought this to his attention if he was anything but certain. The traitor Fusa would die by his claws. 'How dare that worthless bitch think to harm my mate?' A snarl escaped his lips before he regained control. Thankfully, he was sequestered in his study while Kagome was dealing with Diasuke. The small pup didn't want to be removed from his mother's side, not that Sesshoumaru could really blame him. He didn't like being from her side either.

"I will need irrefutable proof before she meets my claws. Order your most trusted spies to this task."

"She will not succeed, pup." Keiji really liked to remind him that their relationship was more than lord and general. "I'll see to it that she shames her whole line before I'm through." Turning swiftly his golden hair tied up flowed behind him like a tail, blue eyes snapping in fury and determination.

'Yes, she will pay for threatening this Sesshoumaru's mate.' Willing his muscles to relax Sesshoumaru felt his aura unconsciously respond to the threat on his mate by seeking hers out. He had finally decided that perhaps he didn't 'need' to know why their aura's acted on their own accord. He felt the gentle brush of her reiki against his youki in a reassuring touch and relaxed slightly. Keiji would position his spies as accomplices who'd want to assist in the coup. There would be enough evidence that Fusa and her accomplice wouldn't hope to survive before he killed her.

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The palace guards poured from both entrances effectively cutting off retreat. They were caught before their carefully executed crime was even committed. Fusa wasn't sure how it happened. They had garnered support from some of the most powerful lords in the land, their victory had been assured. The Lady of the palace was nowhere in site. Her scent permeated the room, but she was absent. It had been a trap, that was now blatantly obvious. 'How the hell had this happened?' Fusa glanced around the nursery again to carefully appraise the situation. There were enough guards that she couldn't see past the doorways, and several where now in the nursery.

Having determined that the situation was hopeless, she decided her only chance of survival, however slim, was to at least attempt an escape. Shifting shadows revealed that the hall was filled with guards as well. Their images vaguely outlined through the shoji walls. Without warning, Fusa swiftly flexed her legs before bursting through the wooden wall into the private garden beyond. Skidding to a halt, the wooden shards flew across the carefully tended garden retreat, littering it with debris.

There was no escape; even the garden had been filled with guards, and worse of all, Lord Sesshoumaru. Glancing around the exposed area she realized that the garden was walled in, probably for the safety and privacy of the royal family. Armed guards surrounded her and her lord leaving a wide berth around them. She heard the gravel crunch lightly as the guards shifted to allow plenty of space between them and their lord. They had no desire to be caught by an attack gone stray.

"Did you truly think that your act of treason would succeed?" His cold soft voice caused her to flinch. Didn't he understand that she was freeing him?

"My lord," Fusa began.

"Silence." Sesshoumaru cut her off before she could explain her reasoning. "There is nothing you could say that would save your life. You are here by sentenced to death for plotting the murder of the Lady Kagome and the attempted murder of said Lady of the West."

"You can't do this. My lord, my family won't allow this. We're too powerful for you to kill me. Besides the lady is merely a human whore. She doesn't deserve loyalty. I have it on good authority that she has been unfaithful. That is reason enough to kill her, for betrayal." Fusa's eyes glittered with malice. True her 'authority' was one she arranged. The lord she had plotted with was prepared to state that Sesshoumaru's mate had been with him. Sesshoumaru was fiercely possessive, all inu youkai were, surely the mere suggestion that his mate had been unfaithful would send him into a rage.

"Since the crime is treason your family will not stand in the way, especially since you were caught attempting to kill her, this Sesshoumaru is aware of your back up plan if this attempt on my mate failed. You accomplice is already in the dungeon awaiting his fate." Sesshoumaru canted his head slightly narrowing his eyes at her. "This Sesshoumaru would not doubt his mate without proof. The word of another is not proof. I would know if my own mate smelt of another male." Sesshoumaru chuckled slightly causing several guards as well as Fusa to gasp at the sound. "Not that my mate would ever require to seek another for company. I make sure of that." A smirk of masculine pride graced his features.

"She is human, my lord, she doesn't need a reason. She's nothing but a cock sucking whore." The vitriol laced words had barely left her lips before she realized that the same possessiveness, that she had been counting on to drive her lord to murder his own mate, would cause him to lash out at her.

A fiery pain spread across her face and chest. She hadn't seen him move. The blood dripping into her eyes and down the front of her kimono certainly testified to the fact that she had been hit with his poison whip. She hadn't seen him move. Her lungs felt heavy, like there was a great weight upon them. She never was very good at planning. Maybe she should have found someone else to plan her ascension to lady, and the downfall of the current one. She hadn't seen him move. Blinking the blood from her eyes, she blurrily watched as her leaden body seemed to tilt, or maybe it was the world that was tilting, as she rushed to meet the ground.

Sesshoumaru watched as his poison affected the traitorous bitch. Insult his mate indeed. "Give her body to her family." The soft crunch of gravel seemed to echo in the garden as he turned on his heel and went to his mate. He needed to explain why he had insisted she leave the nursery so suddenly.

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Kagome had created a school of sorts. Diasuke was two when Sesshoumaru decided that he should start learning his letters and numbers from a tutor, however Kagome had insisted that all the children in the palace should learn them as well.

"Why not, Sesshoumaru, it would be good for them? You know that it's only a matter of centuries before they'd have to learn anyway."

"It is not this Sesshoumaru's job to educate the staff. They know what they need to in order to do their duties." Sesshoumaru pinched the bridge of his nose hoping to ward off the approaching headache.

"Alright, fine. How about a compromise then?"

Peaking out at her from under his eyelashes he asked, " What type of compromise are we talking?"

"How about only the children Diasuke's age? We both know that, other than when Rai comes to visit with Sango and Miroku, he has no one other than Jaken to play with."

"How many children are there his age in the palace?" If there were to many it simply couldn't be done. One tutor was all that was employed and he didn't desire to look for others. It was bad enough that he knew she'd want the females educated as well. It was frowned upon for a woman to be able to read, other than those of royalty, and then only sometimes approved of. He'd be starting something controversial, but he knew she was right in a mere five centuries everyone was expected to read, write and more.

"There are only four others his age. When next year comes we'll worry about what to do with the next set of two year old's. Deal?"

He could see her eyes sparkling in anticipation of him saying yes. He knew how important education was to her and how important it would be in the future. Could he really endure any consequences this action would produce? Looking at her again he decided he could. He wouldn't have to tolerate any repercussions alone. She'd be there standing proudly by his side when the other lords questioned his decision. "Very well. For now, I'll instruct the tutor to teach the five, two-year-olds and you will be responsible for notifying the parents."

Kagome squealed in delight and tackled her husband. He really did just want to do what was for the best. They would worry about how they were going to educate the next group of toddlers next year. Right now she had parents to notify of the good news, though she suspected that if it wasn't an order from their lord they would have declined. No matter they'd thank her in the future even if they did curse her now.

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"Hey, Sesshoumaru, I have a question about Diasuke." Kagome looked at him nervously.

"What would that be?" he wasn't sure what was on her mind this time around. She tended to think up the oddest, hardest to answer questions and then expect him to know. He assumed it was because he was so much older than her that she figured that he would have the answers.

"Well, it's just that I was thinking of what Fusa had said one time. That even though Diasuke looked and smelled like a demon he was still a hanyou because of his parentage. I was wondering how much of him is really demon," She looked around their bedroom nervously obviously mulling over how to phrase her next question while worrying her lower lip between her teeth. "Like for instance, does he have a beast, can he transform into a dog like you can?"

Sesshoumaru caught on to what was really worrying her so badly. "Diasuke is hanyou no matter what. Yes, he does look, smell, and even have the youki of a youkai, but as she pointed out he is hanyou no matter what. It is in my opinion that he has received the best of us both. Nothing I have observed indicates that he has a beast and I am inclined to believe that he does not." Reaching out a clawed hand he delicately ran the back of his fingers over her soft cheek. "To put your mind to rest, that would indeed mean that he would not have a heat once he reaches sexual maturity. He would not have to endure what we did."

"You really think so?" she asked softly her eyes filled with hope.

"Hn. I do indeed, as you know I would not have said so otherwise. Though only time will tell if he truly is without the burden of a beast." Capturing her lips lightly before he pulled away, he said, "No matter what, he will have us there to support him. Though I believe it would be easier in the future for him to lack a beast considering how the world will change. I am thankful for mine, however."

Kagome looked startled at him. "Why? It caused you so much pain. All those females dead because it wasn't satisfied and then the three years you suffered when you sealed yourself in a room to prevent it from raping me."

"If it was not for my beast's insistence that you were the one it wanted I would have let my view of humans cloud my judgment. There would have been the distinct possibility that I would never have found you by my side." Sesshoumaru nuzzled her cheek softly with his own before continuing. "While I did not hate humans as others believed, I did think them beneath me until you and Rin changed my mind. I would have never bothered giving you the glance you deserved."

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One thing that surprised Sesshoumaru was that their personal life was forever changing. He had always assumed that once he had a mate the act of mating itself would become routine after so many decades. His little mate proved him wrong time and again. Her tastes changed every so many decades and he found that his did as well. While he had witnessed several mated couples loose interest in each other over time, he praised the gods that his mate was more enlightened about what was acceptable and what was not. When they first were mated, it was deemed inappropriate to be a voyeur, but his mate had no problems with his discovered kink. Knowing that he would never leave her for another made her more willing to learn what he liked and to accommodate him. She often told him it was his 'reward' for being loyal. He had tried several times to explain that he didn't have a choice, but she said that it mattered more that he was loyal to her in his heart than in his body alone. After all, if he didn't love her he wouldn't be loyal, and if he had the chance to cheat he wouldn't. His beast would never allow his body to stray from her and his heart wouldn't either.

Smirking Sesshoumaru remembered her frustration when they were newly mated with a pup on the way. She had confided in him that she like to be bound, or as he later learned it was called 'bondage'. Due to her pregnancy, however, he had thought it was ill advised to accommodate her. She had pouted and pleaded several times, but he refused to give in. He was willing to dominate her a bit, and even that had taken a bit of getting used to for him. It just wasn't in an Inu's nature to dominate a mate, then again it was in the females' nature to be naturally submissive so there was never a need.

He had discovered that it was surprisingly pleasing to possess her in such a way. It wasn't until after Diasuke had been born and Kagome had fully healed from child birth that he agreed to accommodate her in her desire for bondage. Smirking he thought back the first time he had bound his mate. She had not anticipated the session. It was highly erotic for her and he had been slightly nervous, not that he would ever admit to it.

He had cornered his mate in their recently redecorated study. He had made sure that Diasuke was being attended to and had left explicit instructions that he was not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. He had known that his mate had desired this for a long time and he was determined to deliver. Sesshoumaru made sure to prevent any interruptions by warding the room. His mate had been quite embarrassed after the impromptu romp in the study shortly after they had been mated. For her sake, he would keep this session from reaching the ears and noses of anyone to close to the study.

Kagome had been sitting at her new western style desk working on the inevitable disputes of one village claiming that another got more winter rations than they did. Stepping up to his mate, he had swiftly cleared her desk. Silencing her objections without a word, her dragged her from her chair and gently lifted her onto the empty desk top. Reaching into his haori sleeves, he had extracted a long silk cord. Sesshoumaru stepped in between her legs parting them gently.

Sesshoumaru had taken several deep breaths while observing his mate, savoring the scent of her arousal. He had done nothing but bind her and she had already been prepared for him. Careful to not cut her delicate skin, he had proceeded to shred the layers of her kimono one at a time leaving her bare before him. He had had no idea how erotic it was to have a female bound before him. His female. She was literally laid out before him awaiting his touch.

He had savored the glassy eyed look of desire she had giving him. His little mate had taken her cue from him and remained silent through the encounter save for gasps and moans. He still liked to remember her pale rose lips parted slightly as she took uneven breaths. Her breasts proudly displayed, the tips hardened into tight buds. Her arms stretched above her head, the silk cord trailing from her wrists down the desk binding her in place. While being a novice in such matters, Sesshoumaru had quickly decided that the simplicity of her position was good enough for both of them if their mutual arousal was a good indicator. Later, he had asked her about 'bondage' in her time and found out more ways to secure her that were both comfortable for her and provided the immobility she desired.

He had dragged the backs of his claws along her sides and watched as she took a shuddered breath. Yes, it had been most pleasing. He could explore his little mate quite thoroughly and she could do nothing to stop him. He could find all the spots that would make her gasp or melt. Brushing his fingers along the underside of her milk laden breasts, he managed to produce a whimper. Quickly determining that her skin was already sensitized, he had dragged his fingers down her stomach toward her core in a firm but gentle touch. He could still feel her soft skin under his fingers even after all these years. Perhaps it was a result of taking pleasure in her for so many centuries that any thought of her could produce such strong memories.

Stopping at where her curls would have been, he had redirected his path down along the inside of her quivering thighs, not bothering to bit back his chuckle at her reaction as Kagome shot him an annoyed glare. No matter, she hadn't been able to do anything about her position at the time. Her whimpering turned to pleas shortly after he started to play with her core before he had taken her on the new desk.

Smirking at the memory Sesshoumaru decided he was quite blessed to have such a mate. Not only was she daring in the sexual department, but still after all these centuries, had a voracious appetite for him in the most carnal of ways. Every encounter with his mate was one worth remembering, but that one was one of his favorites. He had particularly liked her post pregnancy curves. While she had bemoaned the loss of her figure, he was secretly pleased that she never got her trim figure back all the way. He liked the soft curve of her stomach that reminded him that he was the cause of it. It was his pup that had stretched her out, filling her to the point that she'd never get rid of the slight swell left over, bar surgery which he would never agree to.

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And in the end, Sesshoumaru was quite pleased with the direction his life had taken after that fateful night one spring. His mate and he had arguments, but they inevitably made up. They watched as Diasuke grew from a carefree pup into a strong, confident young male. They had to suffer threw several wars, and when the time came, he had a hard time relinquishing control over the humans in his kingdom. That had surprised him to no end. He had never thought that he would want to continue to protect them, he had simply always done so. His kingdom only existed as a fond memory now. His subjects were the youkai and hanyou that lived within the boundaries that were once the Western Lands, and his only duty to them was to track down any murders or rapists. He was still powerful but he had lost the title as most powerful youkai to his son. Sesshoumaru found he was both proud and glad to relinquish it when the time had come. For once it hadn't mattered that somone else was more powerful than him.

Looking at his beautiful mate, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head. Yes, he was quite content with the way the last six centuries had turned out.

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A/N: I just had to make Diasuke's eyes blue and amber, it's the same color was my sons.