Passion

Disclaimer: Not mine.


A/N: Hi everybody and THANKS SO MUCH for the many, many reviews I got since updating the last time! I never got that many reviews in my life before! Thanks a billion times. ^-^
Congratulations to whimpy for being the first one ever to flame me and for completely misunderstanding the concept of a Sess/Kag fic. Sess/Kag means she does not end up with Inu Yasha!

My apologies for the long wait. I had exams to sit and enormous problems with this chapter. I had such a distinct vision of what it should be like and no matter what I did the chapter did not turn out the way I wanted it to. I rewrote it around ten times and ended up having four different versions of it. That was the point when I decided to update no matter what. Well, here you are version 9.4. I hate the dialogue, but hope you consider it worth the wait.

Enjoy!

Chapter IX – I Do

Someone was calling for her. Someone needed her to get up and do something. Kagome frowned, trying to find out who they were. Mama?

No, not Mama. Mama wouldn’t call for her so impatiently. Ah, Inu Yasha. Kagome tried to turn to the impetuous hanyou to ask him what he needed her to do, but found she could not move. This was ridiculous! Turning around couldn’t be that hard, could it?

She tried again. She could not move. Something was restraining her. I’m tied up! she thought frantically. I’m held prisoner! But by whom? Naraku?

Inu Yasha called for her again, more urgently this time. He really needed her. Kagome squirmed fiercely, trying to loosen the ties. Inu Yasha needed her help! She had to move! She had to protect Inu Yasha. He mustn’t fight again, he was so hurt! Kagome struggled to get free and woke up.

It was dark in front of her eyes, and the even darker shapes of trees loomed above her. Kagome frowned in confusion. Where was she? And where was Inu Yasha?

Turning her head she could make out several dark forms lying on the ground around the dying rests of a fire. In the still of the night she heard soft, regular breathing and an occasional snore. She blinked and tried to sit up, but was bound in her movements by her tangled sleeping bag and a small kitsune snuggled inside with her.

Now fully awake Kagome grinned a bit sheepishly. It had been only a dream.

Smiling gently she looked over to where white hair was a light spot in the blackness of the night. Yes, only a dream. Inu Yasha was sound asleep. He wasn’t fighting and right now all he needed was peace and quiet to rest and recover. It was good that Koga was here, keeping watch for them. That way Inu Yasha was able to really sleep and relax, not half-listening to his surroundings as usual.

Craning her neck Kagome tried to catch a glimpse of Koga. Strange thing, she wondered, that he hadn’t given any sign that he noticed she was awake. That was not like Koga. He hadn’t left them in the middle of the night, had he? No, he wouldn’t, not without waking them and telling where he went. Or at least waking me to persuade me once again to be his woman, she thought wryly.

Cautiously, so as not to wake Shippo, Kagome sat up and looked around, searching the area for Koga. She found him leaning against the tree in front of which she had placed her sleeping bag. Feeling a bit on edge that he had been right behind her the whole time, surely watching her and probably making fun of her, Kagome leaned forwards to see his face. Her eyes widened in surprise when she realised that Koga had been neither watching her nor anything else. He was asleep!

A fine guard you are, she thought grumpily. Falling asleep like this. You don’t even have an excuse like Inu Yasha!

Shaking her head she regarded the sleeping wolf sternly. Soon, though, she frowned. Why was he asleep? Had he been hurt worse than he had let her know?

She stretched a hand towards him to shake him softly but froze mid-movement. Her eyes widened. There it was again, the familiar tug on her soul. This one hadn’t been a dream. He was calling for her.

A shiver ran through Kagome’s body, a mixture of dread and desire. He was calling for her! Now! While Koga was here, admittedly asleep, but he could wake up any moment! Oh, she didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if Koga woke up, found her missing and … She shuddered. The events of the afternoon would be a tea party in comparison to what would happen if both Koga and Inu Yasha found her with Sesshomaru!

Sitting back Kagome hugged herself tightly. Breathless desire sped her heartbeat up and she yearned to follow the call. She wanted to be near him, wanted to thank him in her own, sweet way for saving her from certain death this afternoon. She longed to hear his voice, to feel his body close to hers and his lips ravishing her mouth.

But she did not dare go.

This held the possibility of disaster. It could destroy her whole world if she followed that call now.

No, she could not go, no matter how much she wanted it. Not with Koga near and his stupid claims concerning her person …

A tiny flame sparked into being. Kagome could feel it growing while she remembered the events of the evening. Stupid Koga for claiming her again and again after she had told him she wasn’t his woman. Stupid Inu Yasha for getting angry over stupid Koga and claiming her as his own, too. Stupid, stupid!

The flame of fury flared high and Kagome glared at the wolf-demon and hanyou, who were both deep asleep and blissfully unaware. You two jerks claim me as your own, she seethed inwardly, but I don’t belong to either of you! I can do what I want and I will!

With that resolve she carefully inched out of her sleeping bag. Shippo stirred but did not wake. Kagome tucked the cover of her sleeping bag securely around him before she reached over to her bag where her shoes lay. Slipping into them she straightened to wait for the next call to show her the way.

When it came, Kagome tip-toed out of her camp. Yes, she was demonstrating that neither of the boys owned her but that didn’t mean she wanted them to wake up. When she reached a safe distance from her camp she sped her steps up. Now that the threat of being caught by her friends was gone, the normal reaction to his calls set in. Soon walking was difficult, with her breath being so erratic and her knees so weak. And yet, walking was too slow and didn’t bring her to him quickly enough. Kagome broke into a staggering run.

Finally she saw something white flicker through the trees in front of her and knew he was near. She stopped and walked the rest of the way in excruciating slowness, prolonging the moment until she met him, shivering in anticipation.

Kagome stepped through the last trees into the open, taking in the familiar scenery. There was a small hot spring surrounded by rocks and boulders. He was sitting on one of them, clad in his usual simple, white kimono. He was watching her with an unreadable expression in his eyes which, Kagome knew very well, would soon give way to the fiery red of passion. She shivered at the thought and the intense heat she had been feeling low in her body began to pulsate through her veins.

He held out his hand to her. Kagome smiled and walked towards him, putting her small hand in his. She expected to be pulled against his body and then kissed fiercely. What she didn’t expect was that he raised her hand to his lips and pressed a searing kiss into her palm. She moaned quietly; his lips were hot and the touch sent tremors of lust through her body.

He looked up at her flushed face and their eyes met. Kagome blinked in surprise. What she saw in his eyes cut through the cloud of lust that fogged her mind. His eyes …

They were dark and … wild. There was no other way to describe it. Shadows seemed to pass by and whirl in the dark-golden depths, and Kagome felt like she was looking into the heart of a lightning. Wildness, fierceness, an immense power, ready to lash out and violate everything in its way. It shook her to the core, even though this wildness was not directed at her.

‘Sess - Sesshomaru?’ she breathed questioningly when he remained silent. ‘What …?’

His fingers around hers tightened.

‘Who is that wolf?’ he growled, dangerously low.

‘Huh? Oh, Koga!’ Kagome’s confusion cleared away. ‘He’s a friend.’

‘A friend. Indeed.’ His eyes narrowed. Another growl, even lower and more dangerous rumbled in his chest. ‘And why does this friend has the audacity to call you his woman?’

Kagome’s eyes widened. ‘H-how do you know?’

‘I heard him,’ he bit curtly, his voice deadly cold. ‘Why does he dare to lay claim on you?’

Kagome blinked. ‘You heard …?’

Sesshomaru’s eyes became icy. ‘Answer,’ he hissed.

She stared at him, confused, uncomprehending. He looked ready to kill. Why was he so furious? Then his words registered in her mind and her eyes widened as she understood. Koga’s stupid claims had angered another dog demon. Instead of annoyance, though, she felt a twinge of satisfaction and with a tiny smile on her lips she hurried to reassure him.

‘Oh, it’s just stupidity. Koga believes himself in love with me and has therefore decided that I am his woman. But I told him it’s totally stupid. I’m not his woman and will never be.’

He regarded her with a strange, piercing look in his eyes. His grip on her hand had tightened painfully. ‘And yet he claims you,’ he snarled.

‘Yes, but only because he’s a cocky idiot that never listens to what I say!’

His expression did not change and a cold shiver of fear ran down her spine. What if he did not believe her? What if he thought she secretly wanted Koga? What if he would leave her and never come back? She could not endure this, she knew with crystal clarity. To never see him again except across a battle-field… no! Cold anger flashed through her; anger at Koga and his stubborn claims which might ruin this, whatever it was, she had with Sesshomaru. She would not allow this to happen!

Slightly desperate Kagome clutched his hand with both of her own and looked pleadingly into his thundery eyes. ‘It is really just as I said! Whatever he thinks, he’s just a friend. Really, honestly, I would never, ever want to be his woman! Please!’

He was silent, watching her with suddenly unreadable eyes.

‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Please believe me.’

His expression did not change and he remained silent for a long while, was merely looking at her. Kagome felt something cold clench her heart. Then he nodded slowly. ‘Yes,’ he whispered.

The cold feeling in her chest vanished, the tension left her body and she sighed happily, tears of relief prickling behind her eyes. He titled his head and she smiled at him, her view blurring with unshed tears. On an impulse she laid her hands on his shoulders and leaned forwards to press her lips on his mouth in a sweet kiss.

He reacted immediately, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him until she straddled his lap. His lips opened and his tongue brushed over hers until they parted and allowed him access to her mouth. Their tongues entwined and danced around each other, slowly, sensually.

Kagome felt she was still smiling and laughed softly. He pulled back minutely to look at her, his eyes dark and questioning. She smiled brightly at him, breathed another gentle kiss on his lips, and then leaned her head on his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his body so close to hers. He held her tighter and buried his face in her hair. Kagome sighed contently.

After a while a thought occurred to her and she sat up to look at his face. ‘Sesshomaru?’ she asked curiously. ‘How do you know Koga calls me his woman? You heard that?’

He looked at her, a strange, twisted grin on his lips. ‘Yes.’

‘Oh? When?’ Her eyes widened. ‘You … this evening? You were there this evening?’

He nodded.

‘Oh!’ Angrily, she pushed against his chest to free herself. ‘You were there this evening! You heard what I said! And still you acted as if -!’

With a quick movement he had pulled her back against him and covered her mouth with his in a wild kiss. He forced her lips open, darting his tongue into the sweet cavern of her mouth, ravishing her.

Kagome froze, surprised at this sudden, fierce attack. But his soft lips on hers, his tongue playing with hers, sent a stab of longing through her whole body. Even the tips of her hair seemed to be aching with need. She melted into his arm, his kiss. Her fingers tangled into the silk of his kimono, her lips softened and her tongue answered his.

He groaned softly into her mouth, the sound causing heat to pool low in her body. She rocked her hips against his and they both panted as she brushed against his hardened manhood. He grabbed her waist and pushed her forcefully down on him. The contact of heat and hardness elicited soft sounds of desire from both of them.

Sesshomaru pulled her lower lip gently between his fangs and nibbled on it. She moaned and raked her hands down his back. He pressed one more, hot kiss on her lips, then pulled back to look at her, his glowing eyes only inches away from her dark, dazed ones.

‘Yes,’ he said fiercely. ‘I heard you. You words, your refusal were the only thing that held me back from making it clear to these two idiots why exactly you do not belong to either of them.’

He growled again, still not able to rein in his wild emotions. Damn, it was never meant to affect him that strongly! He was not supposed to enjoy her company. He was not supposed to miss her when she was not with him. He was not supposed to feel such a jealous hatred towards each male that came close to her! But when he had heard this mangy wolf claim Kagome as his woman …

Instinctively his arm tightened around her. She was his, his alone, and he would kill any male that even did so much as look at her. She was his and today he would make it clear to everybody. It was time to mark her as his; irrevocably, undeniably and without a doubt his own. He only hoped she was ready; that not only her instincts but also her rational mind accepted him. But whether she was ready or not, he would not, could not wait any longer. He would mark her as his tonight.

Kagome blinked at him. His words had quite effectively cut through her daze and the expression in his eyes startled her. They were blank, but only at the surface. Their depths glowed like there was fire burning in them. Was this fury about Koga’s and Inu Yasha’s claims? Her hearted warmed at the thought. He had not liked Koga claiming her. He had to care for her!

However, it was quite disconcerting what he had said. ‘You … you would have …’ she stammered.

‘Yes.’

Kagome closed her eyes in relief. She felt weak as she realised what catastrophe of epic dimensions had just passed by. ‘O kami, they would have killed you!’

‘They would have tried to,’ he corrected her.

She shook her head. ‘They were so angry,’ she whispered, remembering how her friends had fought, seeing them behind her closed lids. ‘Never before have they fought that … fiercely over me. If you had appeared … telling them … Inu Yasha would have gone ballistic!’

Her hands tightened on Sesshomaru’s shoulders as she imagined the hanyou attacking him with Tessaiga, using the wind-scar on the demon lord. Granted, he had survived once, but Kagome was sure that this time Inu Yasha would have done his utmost to kill his brother. And she was very much afraid that not even Sesshomaru would survive a direct hit, not even with Tenseiga’s help. Sesshomaru would have died …

‘They fought?’ Sesshomaru’s cool, slightly curious voice interrupted her nightmarish vision.

Kagome opened her eyes, terror still darkening her blue orbs. Sesshomaru’s arm tightened around her. He regarded her searchingly, trying to discern what had scared her that much.

She nodded in response to his question. ‘Yes, they … Didn’t you see them?’

‘No.’

‘Oh. You must have arrived later then …’

Sesshomaru ran his claws through her hair. ‘Tell me.’

She shuddered, snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. ‘We had just found a place to rest and I wanted to see to everybody’s wounds,’ she began, ‘when Koga showed up. He greeted me as usual but all of a sudden he … changed. He was … angry. He asked me what happened to me. Then he asked Inu Yasha what he had done to me, calling me his woman as usual. Inu Yasha got angry too and the next second they were fighting, yelling at each other.’

His fingers brushing through her hair relaxed her and her eyes drifted close as she went on.

‘That’s nothing unusual, these two fighting because Koga called me his woman. They do it all they time. But this time … it was different. They fought much fiercer and both were obviously set on killing the other. Inu Yasha used the wind-scar on Koga and Koga really tried to beat Inu Yasha up. They surely did their best to kill each other. What’s more, Inu Yasha was about to transform and you know he normally only transforms when his life is in danger.’

‘Normally,’ Sesshomaru repeated slowly. ‘So he has transformed without his life being in danger before?’

Kagome blinked. ‘Y-Yes. He did that once before, the night when you called me for the first time.’

‘Tell me,’ he again asked.

‘I had come back from … from my time that day. When I arrived, Shippo told me that Inu Yasha had been in a fight with somebody, but nobody knew who he had been fighting with. I discussed that with my friends that evening which made Inu Yasha terribly angry. He yelled at us, telling us it was you he had been fighting with and that you had said you … you thought me interesting and that you had come for me that day.’

A cold shiver ran down her spine as she remembered the evening a month ago. ‘Then … then he practically told me he knew there was more between us than I let them know and … transformed. He screamed that I belonged to him and -’

‘Inu Yasha claimed you?’ Sesshomaru’s voice was sharp.

She was startled by his interruption and looked at him. The dangerous expression was back in his eyes and Kagome felt she had better kept that one secret, wondering what the repercussions of her thoughtless disclosure would be. ‘Um, yes. He did, but -’

He pushed her head back against his shoulder. ‘Go on.’

‘Eh?’

‘Tell me what happened after Inu Yasha had claimed you.’

She wondered at his demeanour, opened her mouth to ask him but found nothing to say. Instead, she went on, ‘Well, he … he screamed and was about to attack Miroku. I sat him which brought him back. That’s it. And it’s totally stupid from Inu Yasha to claim me because he has chosen Kikyo, you see, and he knows very well that he can’t have us both,’ she added hurriedly.

‘Hm,’ Sesshomaru said into her hair. ‘He is brighter than I gave him credit for.’

Kagome’s head snapped up. ‘Huh? What are you talking about?’

He tangled his hand into her hair and pulled one lock over her shoulder, watching with rapt interest as the raven-black strand curled around his finger. ‘I am talking about Inu Yasha’s ability to understand what is happening around him,’ he answered. ‘Since he had not tried to kill me more urgently the day he found us, I was inclined to believe my dear little brother to be extraordinarily dense. However, he evidently identified me as a threat after we had met at the well.’

She frowned. ‘But … what has this to do with his transformation? And he’s not dense!’

‘No, merely slow,’ he agreed and Kagome huffed. ‘And it has everything to do with his transformation, dear. Apparently his demonic nature chose you as its mate no matter what Inu Yasha decided. Thus when there was a threat to your status as his intended mate, his demonic nature took control and tried to erase this threat. Had you not stopped him he would have taken you then.’

Kagome stared at him as his words slowly registered in her mind. His face was oh-so blank, but she felt the tension in his body that belied his expressionless countenance.

‘How … how do you know?’ she whispered.

He shrugged. ‘It is obvious from his reactions. Did you not say he told you he knew there was something between us?’

She nodded. ‘Yes, he said so.’

Sesshomaru’s lips twisted in a narrow smile. ‘I am impressed. He shows signs of intelligence.’

Kagome blinked. ‘What?! You mean you knew he would find out sooner or later?’

He watched her through lowered lashes. ‘It would have been highly astonishing if he had not hatched at least a suspicion. He has some demonic senses after all.’

She gasped and stared at him in disbelief. ‘You could have warned me you know.’

He shook his head dismissively. ‘As I said, after his meek acceptance of my words when he found us, I did not expect him to understand fully what had happened. Therefore I saw no need to tell you. Besides, there was never a reason for you to worry. I promised to protect you.’

She smiled quickly and put her head on his shoulder again. ‘Yes, you did. But you know, even you couldn’t protect me from Inu Yasha if he knew. Not forever.’

She did not hear his whispered words ‘I could if you would let me’ because her mind was still busy pondering on the image of an Inu Yasha who knew her secret.

‘Why did Inu Yasha and the wolf not kill each other?’ he asked, returning to their original topic.

‘I stopped them,’ Kagome replied absent-mindedly, wriggling in his lap as a familiar aching began to pulse between her legs. She gasped softly when she felt the undeniable proof that he wasn’t as unmoved as he appeared to be. ‘Sesshomaru …’

He held her tighter to stop her movements. ‘How?’

Kagome blinked in confusion. She had lost the thread of the conversation again due to some lustful thoughts clouding her mind. ‘How what?’

‘How did you stop them?’

‘I-I told them to. I yelled at them to stop and they did.’ Slowly she regained her breath, and her mind cleared a little. She looked at him curiously, wondering why he was asking these questions, why he was so intend on talking and why now. He had never before asked so many questions … But his face gave her no clues to his motives. Even his eyes were blank except for the still swirling shadows in their depths. She sighed inwardly and tried to concentrate in spite of the feelings his body under hers caused.

She took a deep breath and was able to continue without little pants. ‘I told them they were stupid and that I did not belong to either of them and surprisingly, they stopped. Not for long, though. Koga … Koga soon started again, asking what Inu Yasha had done to his woman and so on, and then he teased Inu Yasha that he did not smell that I ma -’

Kagome froze in mid-sentence. She went rigid with shock and her eyes widened.

‘Oh no!’ she exclaimed. ‘He knows! Koga! He knows it! That’s why he was so angry in the first place! He must have smelled … oh kami! He said … Yes! Oh no!’ She hid her face in the crook of his neck, trembling with embarrassment and fear.

Sesshomaru trailed his hand in a soothing caress down her back and kissed her ear. ‘What did he say?’

‘He … he said my scent changed and that there was the scent of a male demon mixed with mine!’ was her muffled answer. Then she raised her head and looked questioningly at the demon, side-tracked for the moment. ‘Why did it change, anyway?’

Sesshomaru quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘You mated, dear. There is a difference in scent between mated and unmated females, or as humans would say between virgins and women.’

Kagome’s eyes widened. ‘Uh … and demons smell that?’

His lips twitched minutely. ‘Yes.’

She flushed scarlet with acute embarrassment. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she complained, her voice trembling. ‘It would have been nice to have been informed about my changed scent.’

She stopped as another thought seemed to occur to her. Then she groaned and hid her face again. ‘Oh kami! Inu Yasha! Shippo! What have they been thinking?’

‘Evidently my brother thought nothing or he else he would have reacted otherwise,’ Sesshomaru said sarcastically.

‘But … he knew there was something and … and you said yourself, I mean …’

He snorted. ‘As I said before, dear, in spite of his surprising flashes of intelligence I do not think he understands what happened.’

She peered at him. ‘Why?’

‘He has not tried to kill me yet.’

Kagome frowned. ‘Of course he has.’

‘No. Not really. Not from the depths of his heart and soul. If he had, I would have had to put in at least some effort.’

She let the insult pass, focused on other things. Her frown deepened. ‘But … I don’t understand … he has a suspicion and you said that you expected him to have one. And yet you think he doesn’t know …’ She shook her head in confusion.

‘I said he did not think about it,’ he clarified. ‘Every demon knows instinctually what a change in a female’s scent means. However, understanding what it signifies is not an instinctual knowledge but an intellectual. And we both know that my brother is not the brightest.’

Half-heartedly she mumbled something about single-mindedness, but her thoughts were on a different matter. ‘But, why has Shippo then thought my changed scent was due to my new soap?’

His brows rose in mild interest. ‘Did he think so?’

‘Yes. When Koga began yelling about my changed scent Shippo said it was due to my new soap. Why would he believe this?’

Sesshomaru shrugged lightly. ‘He is probably too young to know and came up with an answer that satisfied him.’

‘Yes, probably. Hm, do you think this might be the same for Inu Yasha? That he … maybe didn’t know?’

His nostrils flared in a silent snort. ‘Very unlikely. At his age demons know what a change in a female’s scent means and even though he is only a half-demon he ought to know.’

‘Oh, really?’ Kagome glared at him through narrowed eyes and one of his eyebrows rose lightly. ‘How interesting that I get to know these things now. You really could have told me earlier!’

He inclined his head. ‘Why should I have done so? You could not have changed anything, dear, and it would only have worried you.’

‘Still, I would have preferred to know these things. It might have helped to understand Inu Yasha’s reactions a bit better. Oh, and of course Koga’s!’ She gave him a reproachful look. ‘I was totally surprised when he announced that I … that I mated! Had I known in advance that he only had to take a sniff at me to know what happened to me I might have been able to … to do something.’

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know! Something!’

‘Hm.’

Kagome glanced sternly at him, angered at his behaviour. First he left her in the dark and now he treated her like a child! Yet deep down she had to admit he was right about not telling her. The knowledge would have worried her too much, which would have resulted in raising her friends’ suspicions. She found it surprising, though, that she herself had never really thought about the situation.

She regarded him intently. He was still playing with her hair, his body relaxed but his face carefully blank which she now knew as a sign of alertness, and her anger ebbed away to be replaced by a strange warmth. Of course he would not have told her. That was not his style. He had defined the problem and was sure he was able to deal with it on his own. Besides, Kagome could not really imagine the proud demon to come to her and discuss the problem with her. She grinned lopsidedly. No, that was not Sesshomaru. He went his way and expected everybody else to comply.

Not that I had the wish to protest, she thought wryly and sighed.

He looked up and she gave him a big smile. ‘Well, at least now I know why Inu Yasha claims me and why he transformed when Koga called me his woman,’ she declared cheerfully.

Then she frowned suddenly. ‘Though, what I still don’t get is why Koga was so angry with Inu Yasha! I mean, okay, he said Inu Yasha had not protected his woman properly, but that’s not a reason to go and kill somebody, is it?’

She was jerked out of her thoughts by something sounding suspiciously like a chuckle. ‘What?’

Sesshomaru watched her, a dark sparkle in his eyes. ‘Is it not obvious, dear? The wolf thought it was Inu Yasha you mated with.’

Kagome’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She shook her head. ‘No,’ she gasped. ‘He did? He can’t think… oh no!’ She hid her blazing cheeks in her hands, staring at him in horrified embarrassment.

He merely looked at her, his eyes glittering.

‘Why?’ she stammered. ‘How? He … Koga said he smelt the scent of a male demon mixed with mine! Inu Yasha isn’t a demon. Isn’t there a difference in scent between a hanyou and a demon? Couldn’t he tell it wasn’t Inu Yasha?’

‘Of course is there a difference between hanyou and youkai,’ he said almost icily, but she was too stricken to notice.

‘But why then couldn’t he tell it wasn’t Inu Yasha?’

‘Because all he could deduce from your scent was that you mated with a non-human male,’ Sesshomaru replied calmly. ‘Since he does not know about me he blamed the only non-human male in your vicinity. Besides, you said Inu Yasha always got angry at the wolf’s claims. This has undoubtedly fuelled his suspicion.’

Kagome was puzzled. ‘Huh? So Koga smelt the scent of a non-human male but couldn’t tell who that male was? Why? I mean, if he was able to smell that, why couldn’t he tell who it was, too?’

He raised his hand and trailed his fingers in a soft caress over her cheek to her ear and down her neck. She shivered and had to concentrate hard on his words. ‘A benefit of your miko powers, dear.’

Now it was her turn to simply look at him, waiting for an explanation. And that was all she was able to do, for his light caresses on the sensitive parts of her neck reduced her to a shivering bundle of arousal.

As he went on a smile ghosted over his narrow lips and his eyes darkened. ‘It is rather odd that your miko powers should do anything in my favour, but they do. They mask my scent on you. Purify it, so to speak, until all that remains is what you could call a basic male scent.’

Kagome blinked. ‘I-Is that so?’

He nodded. ‘I noticed this on the first day when your friends joined us. I could smell myself on you, my scent mixed with yours, but even as we were talking it began to diminish and faded into something not longer recognisable as my scent. I have given this some thought afterwards and came to the conclusion it had to be your miko powers doing this.’

‘But … I haven’t done that!’ she contradicted him.

‘Not consciously, I know. But your innate powers reacted instinctually and without your knowledge.’ He observed her surprised face. ‘I suppose, after a millennium where miko powers were used to erase the youkai race it was to be expected that they even purify a demon’s scent.’

Kagome stared at him, slowly progression what he had told her. She looked down at her hands, resting on his shoulders. A small frown wrinkled her brow. Then she looked up at him again. ‘If my miko powers mask your scent on me, why do I always have to bath then? Not that I mind bathing, not at all, but I hate bathing in cold water,’ she complained.

He grinned, surprising her. His hand cupped her chin and his eyes, now clearly amused, met hers. ‘Because, my dear, your powers only mask my scent on your body, and nothing more. The very distinct smell of what we have been doing lingers on you. And even Inu Yasha would know what this means!’

Her eyes widened in comprehension and she blushed. ‘Oh!’

Sesshomaru nodded slightly, a faint grin still curling the corners of his mouth. He let go of her chin and tangled his fingers into her hair once more.

Kagome sighed and leaned against his shoulder, feeling strange. Her head whirled from all the things he had told her, and she winced with mortification when she thought about the repercussions while at the same time his closeness and his light caresses wreaked havoc on her body. She was practically shivering with need and he had to know, but hadn’t so far given any sign that he would let things run its natural course. Even though she felt his reaction to her desire.

His reluctance to act on it confused her. Hell, his whole demeanour confused her! Asking her all these questions and answering her own, all the while this blank expression on his face and his body tensed as if he was waiting for something … He was in a strange mood, and she could not fathom why and what had caused it. And she could not quite muster the courage to ask him.

Kagome bit her lip and peered up at him. He was staring straight ahead, without blinking, and she was sure he didn’t see anything. No muscle in his face moved. The markings on his cheeks seemed to glow in the pale moonlight.

‘Um …’ she began hesitantly.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. ‘Yes?’

Kagome sat up and opened her mouth, but then sighed and closed it. Shaking her head she mumbled, ‘Great kami, I’m so lucky nobody found out yet. Considering what happened today between Inu Yasha and Koga … If either of them ever finds out they’re going to kill you.’

Two elegantly curved eyebrows rose. ‘No. They would try to kill me. That is a difference.’

She gave him a hard look. ‘Would you try to kill them if they challenged you?’

‘If they insist in claiming you, yes, I would.’

He spoke calmly but Kagome felt his body tense further. A shiver ran down her spine and she felt curiously weak. Did that mean he claimed her as his own, too? A white-hot flash of arousal shot through her body and her breath hitched. Belonging to Sesshomaru … what a tantalising thought! Even if it was totally unrealistic. He hated humans. He would never claim a human woman.

Something cold clenched her heart and sadness replaced her elation. It was oddly painful to think about the differences that divided them and which would be, at least for his part, invincible.

She pushed these depressing thoughts out of her mind and prepared to tell him off for even thinking about killing her friends. But when she looked up and into his eyes all words fled her. He was watching her with a piercing yet concerned look and Kagome melted. Stupid, he did care for her! And she decided this was enough. It had to be.

However, she couldn’t allow him to harm her friends.

‘Don’t you dare kill Inu Yasha or Koga!’ She poked his chest with one finger. Her face wore an expression of determined anger, but her voice held no reprimand and her eyes gazed at him with a tender smile in their depths. ‘They are my friends and I won’t allow you to kill them! And do forget about their claims. They are stupid, both of them and the best thing is to ignore them.’

He grunted snidely and she glared at him.

‘Why do you all just have to go and try to kill each other anyway?’ she asked the universe, and then blinked in surprise when he answered.

‘That is our nature.’

‘Huh?’

‘We are demons, dear. Of course, Inu Yasha is only a half-demon, but even he possesses demonic instincts. A demon’s nature is to kill and to destroy, usually in order to gain more power.’ He had lowered his lashes so that she wasn’t able to see his eyes. ‘We are always ready to kill, but especially when it comes to the female we have chosen as our mate.’

Kagome stared at him, dozens of thoughts whirling in her mind. The most prominent, however, was, Did he really say what I think he said?

He looked up at her. There was no expression now in his golden orbs. ‘Inu Yasha claimed you as his own, didn’t he?’

Sesshomaru waited for her nod, then went on, ‘And the wolf claimed you, too. Two males claiming one female. You surely know what animals will do at this point. Demons are not that far away from animals when it comes to instincts.’

‘Y-you mean … ?’ Kagome asked. She had an inkling of what he was hinting at but wasn’t able to wrap her mind around the idea. She needed to hear that from him.

‘Rivalry,’ he answered curtly.

Her eyes widened. She had feared it would be that. ‘So you tell me that these two will … will fight over me until … one of them … dies?’ she whispered, terrified.

‘Yes.’

She closed her eyes and shuddered. Her fingers tightened around his shoulders. ‘Gods,’ she breathed, her voice shaky. ‘Holy gods! I never thought … and it’s so stupid! I … I told them! I told them I didn’t belong to either of them! Isn’t that enough?’

‘No. They will fight until either one of them dies or you choose.’

‘Choose what?’

‘A mate.’

She closed her eyes. Her whole body was trembling at the horrible images displayed in front of her closed lids. Inu Yasha ripping Koga’s throat in his demonic rage. Koga smashing Inu Yasha’s skull between his hands. Oh kami …

‘You … you can’t be serious!’ she said, her voice shaking.

‘I assure you, I am!’

She shivered, her hands tightening in the folds of his kimono.

‘Those idiots!’ she suddenly sobbed. Her eyes snapped open, a wild, furious sparkle in their stormy blue depths. Her hands clenched into fists. ‘Those idiots! I told Koga there was another when I met him!’

She was so immersed in her angry thoughts she neither felt him tense, nor felt his claws dug into her skin, nor saw the dangerous glow in his eyes.

‘And Inu Yasha has never before been serious about this! Of course, he always got angry when Koga called me his woman and always insisted that I was not but … but he has never before claimed me! He has never before acted as if … as if I belonged to him! Not really. He always went after Kikyo whenever she showed up and … and he called me his shard detector which isn’t terribly romantic! He chose Kikyo! I … I never thought he could mean his claims seriously!’

‘He certainly is serious now.’ There was an unmistakable growl in Sesshomaru’s voice.

‘That’s his problem,’ she cried, breathing in heavy pants. Angry and frightened tears ran down her cheeks. ‘He chose Kikyo! Therefore he has no right whatsoever to be surprised or angry or anything like that if I decide to choose somebody else! Gods! Those idiots, those idiots !’

She bent her head, resting her forehead on his shoulder. Her shoulders shook with the force of her anger and suppressed sobs.

‘So stupid, so stupid,’ she whispered. ‘They are so stupid to say I belong to them! I don’t …’ a shivering sigh escaped her and she became strangely calm all of a sudden. ‘I don’t belong to either of them,’ she said softly, staring at her hand on his shoulder. ‘I don’t … and I never will, because … I thought, when these two were fighting and… and arguing to whom I belonged that if there was someone I … belonged to … at all,’ she closed her eyes, not sure whether she should say that, or even if she could say that. ‘If there was … it would be … you,’ she finished in a whisper.

For a moment he did not move, seemed to be frozen, and she tensed in anticipation of his reaction, fearing what he might say or do. Then he gave a strangled groan and crushed her to his chest, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her ribs protested against such a rough treatment and she had difficulties breathing, but his hot breath fanned over her neck, sending tingles down her spine, and the feeling of his firm, warm body moulded against hers was heavenly, so Kagome did not mind bruised ribs and lack of oxygen.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and a smile lightened her face as her eyes drifted close. She felt warmth flood her like a wave, a feeling of utter rightness blossoming in her heart. Then she became aware of the ever so slight trembling of his body and instinctively she tightened her arms around him. Absently wondering what could have caused this she raised one hand and gently trailed it through his soft hair, playing with the silver strands.

‘Had that wolf touched you I would have killed him,’ he ground out fiercely, his breath stirring the fine hairs on the back of her neck, and Kagome started slightly.

Then she relaxed again and with a soft smile she rubbed her cheek against his hair. ‘No need to.’

He growled and she shivered at that dangerous sound. The fine hairs on her neck rose, but at the same time heat coiled slowly in her stomach. ‘I would have,’ he repeated.

Kagome blinked. A suspicion raised its head. Her heart skipped a beat and she gasped softly. This idea was so … wild and far-fetched and … but … was he … could he be …?

‘Sesshomaru …?’

He growled again, interrupting her line of thought, and she felt his fangs scrape her skin. A jolt of pure need shot through her body and she whimpered, pressing closer to him. She panted as her womanhood touched the hard heat of his arousal. He inhaled sharply at the contact and his fingers flexed around her waist.

‘Y-you know,’ her voice was shaky and breathless, ‘there’s really n-no need for you to … to be angry with Koga or I-Inu Yasha. I – I never paid any heed to their claims and now that you … that you told me why they’re fighting I’ll find a way to keep them … keep them calm. And at some time they’ll just have to understand that I mean no when I say no and stop claiming me altogether.’

He gave a sharp laugh. ‘They won’t.’

‘But … why?’ Kagome frowned. ‘When they see that I’m serious about not belonging to them … They’re not stupid! They will understand in the end!’

‘They are not stupid, not in this aspect, as much as I loathe saying that. They merely follow their demonic instincts.’

‘I don’t care!’ she cried angrily and he raised his head, a weak twinkle in his eyes. ‘I don’t care if they follow their instincts or not! That’s stupid! They are stupid! They shouldn’t claim me any longer! And they really should stop fighting!’

He shook his head. ‘Have you not listened to what I told you? They will fight until one of them dies or marks you!’

She groaned. ‘Isn’t there another way to stop them?’

When he did not answer she cast him a questioning glance. ‘Sesshomaru? Is there no other way to stop them?’

He lowered his lashes. ‘Yes, there is.’

‘Oh?’ she perked up. ‘What is it?’

Again, he remained silent for a moment and Kagome wondered why. Astonished, she felt his body tense and watched his lips harden into a thin line. What was up? Was this way so horrible? She felt fear creep up her spine.

‘Sesshomaru?’ she whispered.

He looked up and straight into her eyes. Something in the expression of his golden orbs sped her heartbeat up. She felt breathless. ‘Wha -?’

‘I mark you.’ His voice was even and strong, but his shoulders under her hands tensed further.

She blinked. ‘M-mark me?’

‘As my mate,’ he added, almost coolly.

Kagome froze. Her eyes widened. The world seemed to pause.

She was oddly aware of the cold night air on her skin, of the silence of the forest, only occasionally interrupted by the cry of a night animal; aware of how far away her friends were; aware of who she was and who he was; aware of how close they were; aware of the warmth and firmness of his body; aware of his glowing eyes watching her.

With a strangled cry she struggled out of his embrace, stumbling back and away from him. From the distance of a few steps she stared incredulously at the demon lord who had been her secret lover for two months, feeling confused, shocked, and frightened.

He had not held her back, nor did he now make any moves to draw her into his arm again. He remained motionless and only looked at her with those carefully blank, golden eyes.

Her mind whirled. Suddenly the madness of the whole situation occurred to her. Here she was, far away from her friends who loved and protected her. Alone with a demon lord who had tried to kill her more than once. A demon who was her lover. A lover about whom she knew little to nothing. With whom she had shared nothing but a physical relationship.

Granted, there had been several occasions where she had thought there was more between them, but that was only an illusion. It was not possible. Or so she had thought.

Now he spoke of marking her as his mate. Why? Why now? Why at all?

All her earlier questions came back, questions of why. Why had he kissed her on that day two months ago? Why had she let him? Why had he gone further? Why hadn’t she stopped him? Why hadn’t he stopped? Why had he come to her again? Why was he interested in her? Why had he called her to him some nights later? Why did he still call her almost every night?

Kagome realised she had stopped herself asking these questions long ago. She had no longer cared about the why. Had no longer cared why he was doing the things he did. She had closed her eyes to reason and common sense, had been listening to her instincts only, to the longing in her heart. She had been living in a dream. Now she had woken up, and the questions multiplied.

Why had he promised to protect her? Why had he asked her to stay with him? Why was he concerned for her well-being? Why was he furious about Koga’s claims? About Inu Yasha’s claims? Why did he now talk about marking her as his mate? This was more than physical involvement, far more!

Kagome groaned. Her head hurt with all these questions. Her mind struggled helplessly to understand them, to find an answer to them. And in the back of her head a tiny voice woke up and glared reproachfully at her. ‘I told you so!’ it seemed to say.

She rubbed her eyes, then her forehead and temples, hoping to erase a bit of the dull throbbing in her skull. However, it did nothing to help her, and she felt as if every bone in her body was pulsating with “whywhywhy”.

She looked back at him. He had still not moved and was still simply watching her, his face and eyes blank. She knew he was waiting for her answer and apparently this answer meant a lot to him.

‘Why?’ she croaked finally, her mouth incredibly dry.

He raised one eyebrow and she shivered. Somehow he now looked so … cold. Looked so very much like he had the first time she had seen him.

‘Why did you say that?’ Her voice was only a whisper. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and she felt weak. ‘Why did you … did you talk about marking me as your mate?’

‘You asked me for a way to stop the fighting,’ he answered coolly. ‘They will only stop when you are mated. Either with one of them or with someone else.’

‘Y-yes, you said that, but … Why? You can’t possibly want to … want to make me your mate! I’m human! You hate humans! You hate Inu Yasha for having a human mother! You think it a disgrace that your father married her! S-so … why??’ The last word came out in a frantic cry.

‘I want you.’

‘W-what?’ she asked feebly, staring incredulously at him. ‘N-no … you-you can’t!’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘Y-you can’t be serious! You …’

Their eyes met and she stopped. His gaze was steady and calm, but she saw a strange light in the depths of his eyes, light and warmth. Her heart skipped a beat and then began pounding against her ribcage as if it wanted to break free. A shiver ran down her spine. Deep inside of her body an answering fire flared up, and she felt it rising, heating, a need burning in her soul to tell him that she wanted him too, but she shook her head again.

‘No, you can’t …’ she whispered, ‘you can’t want … me …’

‘I want you,’ he repeated softly and Kagome could not look away from his eyes. ‘I want to have you by my side. I want to have you in my home, in my bed. I want you to be with me, always, not only for some hours at night. I want to be with you without you being afraid of your friends noticing that you are away. I want you to fall asleep in my bed after hours of passion. I want to lie by your side and watch you sleep. I want to love you again when day comes and then again when the sun is high. I want to keep you and I don’t want to have to bring you back. I want you,’ he finished huskily.

She closed her eyes, seriously shaken. His words conjured up images in front of her eyes. She could see herself sleeping next to him in his bed. She could see them making love in broad daylight. And her body reacted to these images. The tips of her breasts were stiff little pebbles and liquid heat pooled at the entrance to her body. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her stomach fluttered and coiled into a fiery knot. Every nerve was awake and tense. Her skin prickled. Her cheeks burned. Her whole body vibrated with desire.

And in her madly beating heart another emotion stirred. His home, he had said. He wanted her in his home. As his mate. He wanted her to be the lady of his house. He would not want to make her his and place her by his side if he did not … love her?

Slowly her eyes opened and she gazed at him through her lashes, her deep blue orbs dark, dazed, with an almost too bright sparkle in their depths. A sparkle that mirrored the light in his dark golden eyes.

‘You want me as your mate?’ she whispered, her voice nothing more than a husky breath.

‘Yes,’ he answered, equally quiet.

She closed her eyes again. A visible shiver ran through her body and she hugged herself tightly. An expression of painful bliss flitted across her features before they became sorrowful and confused. She shook her head, looking at him again.

‘W-why? Why me?’ she asked, a touch of desperation in her voice. ‘I’m human! You can’t want me, Sesshomaru! You can’t! It’s … it’s against your … your character! So, why? Tell me why! Give me a reason!’

Her eyes were large and pleading. He reached out his hand and waited until, after some hesitation, she took it. His fingers closed around her small hand and held it tightly. He did nothing more, just held her hand.

‘Why are you here?’ he asked gently.

‘Huh?’ Kagome blinked in utter confusion. Everything she had expected, from him kissing her hand again to being crushed against his chest. But this she did not expect.

He smiled softly. ‘Why did you come when I called you?’

She blushed and averted her eyes. She had come because she had wanted him. He had to know that. Why did he ask now? Did he want her to say it out loud? She couldn’t. ‘B-because I … I wanted to.’

His fingers around hers tightened and he drew her closer to him. ‘And why did you want to?’

Her blush intensified. Her breath became erratic. She looked into his eyes and was lost. ‘I want you,’ she admitted.

His eyes darkened further but the light in their depths shone brighter than before. ‘Why do you want me?’

Kagome gazed at him helplessly. Why did she want him? Because … because he was … him. She knew no other answer. ‘B-because. I don’t know!’

His smile deepened. He lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips in a feather-light touch over her palm. A soft moan escaped her slightly parted lips.

‘No, you do not know,’ he agreed, his voice so deep she could feel its echoes in her body, in her breasts and deep down inside of her where the fiery knot twisted and turned. ‘Neither do I know why I want you. But I do. There is no reason. There is no need for a reason.’

Oh, there was a reason why he wanted her and why she wanted him! A reason beyond the physical attraction they both felt. However, she mustn’t know it. Not now, maybe never. After all, it did not matter anymore. He now wanted her for who she was, rather than for what she was. And he would mark her as his own tonight because he needed her. If she was not ready yet it would be a pity, but he would gladly abandon his original plans and targets if he could only have her.

‘There is no need for a reason,’ he whispered. ‘I want you. That is enough. And you want me.’

Kagome blushed crimson but did not look away. Neither did she resist as he drew her closer until she was standing only inches away from him. His eyes demanded an answer, thus she nodded. ‘Yes, I do, but …’

‘But?’

She sighed shakily, her expression a mixture of longing and something akin to panic. ‘Y-your mate? I ? You can’t … that is, I … I can’t be … I …’ she stammered frantically.

Sesshomaru stopped her babbling by wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his lap again. Kagome tensed at first, but then relaxed against him and buried her face in his shoulder. He gently caressed her back, his lips brushing over her ear down to her neck where he started to kiss and nibble and tease the sensitive skin. She moaned softly. Her arms slid around his waist and she snuggled closer to him.

He pressed hot but soft kisses onto her neck and shoulder until her head fell back and she arched her body into his. He panted as he felt the hardened tips of her breasts through the layers of clothes between them and his hips thrust instinctively up against hers. She moaned again and pressed closer to him.

She was on fire. His earlier words had incited her desire, and now his lips and hand on her body heightened it into frenzy. She rocked her hips against his, trying to ease the aching between her legs.

He groaned into her neck and tightened his grip on her to still her movements. This elicited a whimpered protest from her and she squirmed in an effort to loosen the restriction, her motion creating a most delicate friction of her clit against his arousal. They both panted, and she wriggled a bit more.

The fingers on her hip twitched, and she felt his claws piercing through her skirt. ‘Kagome,’ he breathed and she stilled, surprised. Her name. He had never before called her by her name. He had always used that little endearment when speaking to her. Not that she had minded it! Not at all. It was nice to be somebody’s dear. But to hear her name, these three syllables, from his lips …

‘Kagome,’ he repeated, his warm breath stirring the fine hairs on the back of her neck. ‘Be my mate.’

She shivered, feeling cold and hot at the same time. Hearing her name from him, hearing his words sent a stab of longing through her body and soul. Yet a small voice, that cursed, reasonable voice in the depths of her mind, began listing the reasons why this was completely impossible and her ecstasy vanished.

Inu Yasha. He had been first in her heart and mind for so long. He trusted her, cared for her, maybe even loved her a little. She could not do this to him. She could not become his brother’s mate.

Her friends. She would probably not be able to see them again. She could not leave them like this. Besides, she still had an obligation: to find the jewel shards and defeat Naraku. She could not leave her friends alone with this task. They all carried their burdens, laid upon them by Naraku, and she had to help them in every way possible. The life of Miroku and Kohaku depended on defeating the evil hanyou. Sango’s and Inu Yasha’s happiness depended on it. She could not abandon the quest or her friends.

Her family. Her own time. She would be tied to this time, this place if she became Sesshomaru’s mate. He would want her to stay with him and not go back through time where he couldn’t follow her. She would never see her family again; Grandpa, Sota, her mama; and not to forget Buyo. Her friends in her time. The luxury of hot water and indoor plumbing. Music and films and shopping with her friends. School – no, she would not miss that. But everything else.

It was not possible. She was human, he was a demon. He hated humans. She had miko powers and purified demons. He would live for a long time, probably forever, and she would die all too soon. No, it was not possible.

No matter how much she wanted it.

Kagome took a deep, shaky breath. Her insides twitched and turned, a nauseating, painful feeling. Her soul felt torn between her desire and her obligations, between instinct and reason. She had to force herself to open her mouth and speak. It came out in a weak croak. ‘I can’t …’

She felt him twitch. His arm around her waist tensed and his claws dugs painfully into her skin. ‘Why?’

She trembled. His voice … He sounded so hurt, so vulnerable, so honest in his wish to make her his. A sharp aching stirred in her chest and she tightened her hold on him, feeling oddly protective in spite of herself. She did not want to hurt him. She did not want to say it, did not want to tell him it was impossible.

The urge to forget about everything else but him and tell him she would be his mate grew stronger, almost overpowering her. The voice that insisted on her refusing him became weaker. Still it managed to whisper to her why it was impossible. And these whispers compelled her to say, ‘There are so many reasons … it’s impossible.’

He sighed and laid a soft kiss on her shoulder, and she was suddenly afraid he would draw back and tell her to go. She felt like being dropped into ice-cold water and not even the persistent voice was able to drown out the pained outcry of her soul at the thought of him leaving her. She pressed closer to him, trying to tell him without words that she wanted to be his mate more than anything else even if it was impossible.

Yet, he did not pull back. He loosened his grip on her, but only to trail his hand in a gentle caress over her back. A soft sound escaped her lips and she relaxed, tangling her own hands into his hair. Apparently, he would not send her away.

His hand on her back moved slowly lower until it reached her behind. His lips and tongue were caressing the rapidly accelerating pulse in her throat. Kagome sighed with reawakened arousal and arched her back, pressing her breasts against his chest. He growled softly, and his fangs grazed her skin while his hand slipped under her skirt.

She panted, her mind clouding with lust and passion. His deep, husky voice startled her.

‘Do you not want Koga and Inu Yasha to stop fighting?’

It took her some time until she had understood what he was talking about, and she was a bit befuddled why he would be asking such a question now of all times. However, he was waiting for an answer, she could tell from the certain tension in his body, and thus she murmured, ‘Yes, I do.’

His fingers slipped into her knickers, and she gasped as they brushed lightly over her womanhood. Liquid heat pooled low in her body, and his touch incited small fires that quickly spread. Her skin prickled and every nerve seemed to be trembling with excitement.

He trailed his lips up to her ear and breathed a kiss on the soft spot right behind it. He felt her shiver, felt her nails dug into his skin, felt the wet heat of her womanhood and groaned, yearning to lose himself in her. His voice shook imperceptibly as he whispered in her ear, ‘You said you belong to me.’

Kagome moaned. Her breath came in erratic pants and she had serious problems answering him. ‘Y-Yes, I-I did …’

He froze, the sudden stillness startling her.

‘Were you not serious about it?’ he growled.

She blinked, the mist in her mind lifting slightly. ‘Oh!’

He growled again, deeper, darker, more dangerous than before, reminding her that he had not liked Koga’s claims. Or Inu Yasha’s, for that matter. Would he now think she would choose one of them because she had refused to be his mate? She could not let him believe this, thus she hurried to reassure him. ‘Of course I was serious about it!’

‘So you do belong to me.’

She trembled, a strange feeling rising inside of her, a feeling of warmth, and rightness, and something like the premonition of completeness.

‘Yes,’ she agreed softly. ‘Yes, I do.’

The tension in his body melted and he exhaled deeply, his breath tingling over her skin. Then she felt his tongue trace the shell of her ear; all thoughts vanished, and all feelings paled against the desire that rose inside of her. Her head fell back as his lips wandered down her neck once again.

Abruptly he pulled back. Her eyes flew open, dark and glittering with lust, large with fear he would stop. He grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulled it over her head with one quick, fluid motion and tossed it aside. Cold night air touched her skin and goose bumps rose. He pressed open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder before he trailed his lips down to the gentle swelling of her breasts and her nipples budded from coldness and desire.

She moaned softly as his lips caressed her breasts through the material of her bra. Her hands slipped into his kimono. The feeling of his silky skin and firm muscles under her fingertips and his soft growl at the touch sharpened her need.

He traced the outline of her bra with his tongue, then trailed kisses over the still covered mounds, pausing to suck each bud into his hot mouth, which elicited low mewls from her. He pressed one searing kiss into the valley between her breasts, and when he spoke his hot breath fluttered over her skin, exciting her even further.

‘Do you want me to protect you?’

His voice was low and husky, and the rushing of her blood in her ears was so loud she almost missed his murmured words. Yet she heard them and they sent a shiver through her body, shaking her to the soul. The new, strange feeling of warmth grew stronger. Her clouded mind struggled to understand why he would be asking this question. What had this to do with his proposal?

Images of the afternoon flashed in front of her closed lids. She remembered being saved by him. One part of her, the part that was yearning to be his mate, was keen on answering yes. The visions this part invoked made her heart ache. They were visions of protection, of safety. She felt as if she would never have to fear again if she answered yes.

The other part of her shied back and screamed a warning. These questions were not random questions. He asked them on purpose! He was closing in on her, pushing her into a direction that was dangerous. The persistent voice told her to say no. ‘You don’t need him to protect you,’ it said. ‘Inu Yasha protects you, and Sango and Miroku protect you. You don’t need another protector.’ The voice sounded awfully like Reason.

Kagome trembled. She felt like she was standing at a crossroads. Her answer, she knew instinctually, would irrevocably point her one way or the other. There would be no way back once she had taken one road. What to say? What to answer? Which way to go?

A shiver ran down her spine. She knew what she wanted. But could she say that? Reason cried out, protesting, arguing, but she did not listen. He asked her what she wanted.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her voice was only a breathless whisper.

‘Yes, I do.’

He growled softly and raised his head to claim her lips with his in a passionate kiss. Kagome moaned into his mouth and arched her back, trying to press closer to him. He grazed his claws over her back and shoulders, eliciting another moan from her. She wriggled in his lap, her hips rocking against his, and they both panted as the movement brought heat and hardness together.

Sesshomaru pulled back once more, and she gazed at him with misty eyes. His glowed dark golden, and a small smile lay on his narrow lips. Kagome’s hand came up and tangled in his hair, softly pulling on the silver strands to get his mouth back to hers. His smile deepened as his hand trailed over her side and up to her breasts. She sighed quietly as his fingers brushed over the soft mounds.

The sigh turned into a gasp as he cut her bra with one claw and flung it aside. Eyes wide in surprise she looked at him.

Slowly he bent his head, keeping eye contact with her until their lips met. Then her lashes fluttered close and she melted into the kiss.

He pulled her lower lip between his teeth and nibbled on it, his claws tracing patterns on her back. The light, scratching touches elicited short pants from her. Goose bumps rose on her skin and the tips of her breasts budded further.

His claws slid down her back, over her behind to her thigh, under the hem of her skirt and upwards again. Kagome moaned into his mouth as he touched her through the moist material of her knickers. Her hips thrust instinctively against his fingers, searching for the right kind of friction. The fingers trailed lower and soon he cupped her pussy with his hand, his thumb moving in gentle circles over her most sensitive spot.

His lips left her mouth and laid a hot, wet path down her throat to her breasts. He caressed the trembling mounds with lips and teeth and tongue, making her sob with need. Her hands fluttered frantically over his shoulders and back, tugging at his kimono, trying to undress him so that she would be able to feel his body without obstacles blocking her way.

He paid deft attention to every rosy bud, circling it with his tongue, sucking it into his hot mouth and gently pulling it with his fangs. Kagome panted and writhed in his lap, her movements rubbing her aching centre against his palm. He growled deep in his throat and she moaned as he pressed one finger against the entrance to her body. Another rush of liquid heat met his finger through her knickers.

Kagome thought she would go insane. His touch, his fingers felt so heavenly, but the material of her knickers was in the way. Her breathing came in ragged whispers that might have been pleas for something more, but if he heard her he did not pay heed. His fingers continued to caress her through the cloth.

She moaned and rocked her hips against his hand, wanting, needing more. ‘Sesshomaru!’ Her voice was breathless and husky, literally trembling with lust. ‘Please, oh, please, I … I need … please …’ she stammered incoherently.

He was nibbling gently on her shoulder, but stopped to raise his head and look at her through lowered lashes. His eyes shone red, and the markings on his face were more distinct than usual. These signs told her he was yearning for her as much as she was yearning for him, and the knowledge he wanted her so passionately heightened her own desire.

‘What is it you need?’ he asked. His voice was so low she felt it more than she heard it. His fingers stroked her womanhood.

Kagome cried softly and her head fell back. ‘N-need you …’

She felt him tremble as he whispered hoarsely against the pulse in her throat, “Do you want me to love you?”

She shivered at the possibilities this question held, but right now she only wanted one meaning of his words. ‘Yes, oh yes, I do,’ she moaned.

Two quick flicks of his claws and her knickers were gone. She cried out as she felt his fingers touching her, the direct contact driving her into frenzy.

His fingers caressed and explored her wet folds while he nibbled and sucked on her neck and throat. He slipped one long finger into her hot core, pulling back immediately as she moved her hips. She mumbled a protest and pushed down to find the delicious contact again, but he withdrew his hand, cupping one cheek and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Kagome whimpered; her hips writhed and pressed closer to him on their own account, and she gasped as she felt his erection, hard and hot and pulsating, straining upwards through the thin silk of his kimono. She rubbed herself against him, trying to relieve some of the aching that throbbed between her legs. He groaned and his hips thrust upwards. She answered the motion, both panting at the friction they created. But it was not enough.

With seriously trembling hands Kagome reached down between their bodies and tugged at his kimono. He did nothing to help her, only continued kissing her neck and kneading her behind, grunting from time to time when her fingers touched him.

Whimpering with frustration, Kagome tore at the material, but it did not yield. Finally she scrambled off his lap, standing in front of him with knees so weak they barely supported her, and tore the annoying piece of clothes open.

Sesshomaru watched her under heavy lids. Her lips were red and swollen, her cheeks flushed, and her breath came in erratic pants. Her round breasts trembled with every heaving breath she took; an interesting sight indeed, and his eyes roamed her body with relish. All over her enticing breasts and shoulders she bore small, red bite marks, and he hardened further, painfully, as he thought of the last, the final bite.

As soon as she had managed to free his throbbing arousal he pulled her into his lap again, crushing her slender frame against his body. She moaned and wrapped her arms around him, her hips descending onto him. He grabbed her around her waist and stopped her, causing her to sob in protest. She struggled against him, trying to get free and down, down, but he refused to let her go.

He was having a hard time himself, her welcoming core so close he could feel the heat. He wanted to thrust into her, lose himself in her, but he could not. Not yet. He could not risk the chance now that he had come so close. Holding back was an almost physical pain, yet he could gain so much if he only managed to speak, to ask the last question.

Kagome was lost in the desire that was pulsating in her veins. The world had gone away; everything that counted now was him, her raging desire and her need to feel him deep inside of her. She felt him inches away from her and she yearned so much that it hurt. She struggled against his hold, sobbing and panting with lust and frustration and desperation. Why would he not come to her?

His claws dug into her skin and she felt something warm trickle over her hips. He growled dangerously, and his grip on her tightened even further. Then he lowered her slowly, bringing her welcoming heat closer to his straining erection.

Her hands clung to his shoulders, and her eyes were shut tightly, her lips slightly parted, a frown on her brow. He came closer; she felt him, felt his heat and shivered with need. Wave after wave of lust rushed through her body.

He was touching her now, his tip brushing over the small bundle of nerves. A jolt of pure, wild, wanton hunger shot through her. She gasped and arched her body, fighting against his grasp. He slid through her wet folds to the entrance of her body and stopped. She cried out as she felt him ready to thrust into her, but he did not. She was aching for him, yearning for the feeling of him buried deep inside of her. But he did not move. Tip poised at the entrance, whole body tense and trembling with the strain to hold back, he stopped.

Sesshomaru fought against the beast inside and against the lure of her. She beckoned him, her body called for him, and the beast screamed and howled to take her, make her his, possess her body, mind and soul. He felt himself tremble but he could not stop. The smell of her blood filled his nostrils; he knew his claws had hurt her, he felt abstractly sorry for hurting her, yet the fragrance of her blood almost drowned every thought. Only one phrase burnt brightly through the haze of carnal need: ask her .

He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and fought for control, for breath and for the right words. Her whimpers and the delicious scent of her blood mixed with her heavy arousal did not help at all.

‘Kagome,’ he groaned and she shivered. He felt how the sound of her name on his lips affected her and the beast threatened to take over. Not yet, not now…

He grazed her skin with his fangs, gently impaling them into her flesh. She moaned.

‘Kagome,’ he repeated, pressing the words through gritted teeth. ‘Do you want me to mark you?’

Kagome’s heart skipped a beat as his low, hissed words reached her. Her world stood still.

Then something in her mind screamed out; through the mist of passion she heard a voice shouting, heard its words about stopping this, about running away, about her friends she would leave behind. But something else refused to stop. It urged her forwards, pushing her with a strength that hurt.

There was a horrible pain inside of her, inside of her soul, as these two opposites fought. Where am I in this? she wondered. What do I want?

And for one, single, elating moment she was free. She was free from all obligations and expectations. There was nobody and nothing to tell her what to do. She was free and she made her own decision. A smile tugged at her lips.

Then the moment was gone, she was back into her body, back to her torn soul, but the memory remained. Through the turmoil in her mind, the chaos in her soul and the savage yearning in every fibre of her body she answered him.

‘Yes. I do.’

Her voice was only a ragged whisper, barely audible. But it was enough for him. It was enough for him to let go and the beast to take over.

With a deep growl the demon pressed his mouth to the point right behind the juncture of neck and shoulder. Slowly he opened his lips, letting his elongated fangs brush over her skin. He felt the blood rushing through her veins, heard it calling to him, heard her madly beating heart, smelt her readiness for him, and with a deep sound of satisfaction he plunged his fangs into her soft flesh at the same moment as he thrust almost brutally into her waiting body.

Sweet blood hit his tongue, he drowned in it, in her body, heard her scream, felt her spasm against him. His senses sharpened to a painful extend, taste, sound, touch. Her blood, the rush through her veins, in his mouth, her screams, her nails digging into his shoulder, her body embracing him, clamping down on him, the scent of her lust and passion never so strong, so overwhelming before.

He thrust into her, losing himself entirely, being consumed by her, by the white-hot fire of pure heat, lust, passion. He felt her; felt her lust, her desire, felt her drowning in him, felt her soul. Large and bright and beautiful, it was burning, burning for him. He felt it touching him, warming him, taking him. He felt his own soul, powerful and dark and threatening. They came closer with each thrust, with each wild scream from her lips, with each droplet of blood that ran down his throat.

He moved with demonic speed, thrusting into her, deeper and deeper, harder, faster, forging a bond between them. Their souls touched, combined, formed a unit of black and white, beautiful, blessed, never to be broken.

Their every sensation had become so intense and forceful that the great, blinding splendour of the heights of their passion left them both unconscious.


* ~ * ~ *


Sesshomaru woke up. As usual, he was wide awake from one second to the other, surprised he had fallen asleep at all. Sleeping was something he usually only did in the safety of his castle. Then he felt her and remembered. A small smile tugged on his lips. Maybe it was not so surprising after all that he had fallen asleep.

He sat up from where he was lying on the ground and turned his head to her. The smile vanished and he frowned. It was unsettling to not find her snuggled by his side, but even more disturbing was the sadness he felt on her. Did she regret what she had done?

A cold hand seemed to clutch his guts at the thought, and he quickly chased the thought away. It was not regret she was feeling, it was sadness.

He got up and walked over to where she was sitting huddled on a small boulder at the edge of the hot spring. The hot steam hovering above the surface had moistened her hair and skin, the raven black locks now clinging to her smooth skin on her back and shoulders. She looked at if she had just been loved passionately. Sesshomaru could not help grinning.

He reached out and brushed her hair over her shoulder, revealing the still angrily red bite mark. His mark. She was his now. Irrevocably, undeniably and without a doubt his own. He did not want to even start analysing what he felt for her now. He bent forwards and pressed his lips in a soft kiss on his mark.

She gasped and started as if she had not known he was standing behind her. Sesshomaru frowned again, and his frown deepened as she turned around and looked up at him. There were tears in her lovely blue eyes and an expression of sorrow mixed with guilt on her face.

‘What is it, love?’ he asked softly.

She shivered and reached out, grabbing his hand. Her large eyes regarded him pleadingly. ‘Sesshomaru, please, don’t make me leave Inu Yasha,’ she whispered.

As soon as she had spoken these words she wished she had phrased her wish differently. Or not at all.

His face closed off, and the almost tender gleam in his eyes vanished. They grew cold and unreadable. He stared at her for a second, the expression in his golden orbs sending cold tingles down her spine. Then he snatched his hand out of her grasp and turned away. Kagome bit her lips, feeling suddenly very cold and lonely.

Why had she said it this way? She had made him angry, she knew it. She was now able to read his body language perfectly, and from the thin line of his lips and his stiff movements she could tell he was furious. He was, wasn’t he?

Sharp fear suddenly rose inside of her as he picked up his kimono and shrugged elegantly into the garment. He had not said one word and the look in his eyes … gods, she had hurt him!

She leapt up and hurried to him, grabbing his arm with both hands. ‘Sesshomaru, I didn’t mean it that way!’ she cried distraughtly. He turned his head and looked at her. His face was absolutely blank, but she just knew he was injured by her words.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,’ she repeated. ‘I … I would love to … to be with you, but … I can’t leave Inu Yasha and my friends right now. I have an obligation to them that I can’t simply brush off. I have to stay with them and complete the shikon no tama. I broke it and it’s my duty to put it together again. Besides, they need me, apart from me being able to feel the shards. You understand?’

Her eyes begged him silently to understand, to forgive her, but he was unmoved. He remained silent, and even she could not read his face now. Only somewhere deep inside of her she still knew he felt hurt.

Finally he pulled his arm out of her grip and stepped back. Regarding her coldly he said, ‘You do belong to me now. There is no way back.’

‘I know! I -!’ she interjected but with one cold glance he shut her up.

‘I shall honour your wish. I will not force you in any way to leave your companions.’ With that he turned and within the blink of an eye he was gone.

‘Sesshomaru!’ she cried out. ‘Don’t go! Please! I didn’t mean to … Sesshomaru!’

But the forest around her remained silent. With a sob she fell to her knees, hiding her face in her hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid! she berated herself. Why had she said it? She should have known he would not like it! But what could she have done? No matter how she would have phrased it, it would have angered him.

The cold morning air made her shiver. She felt cold inside and out. Slowly she got to her feet and stumbled over to the hot spring and into the warm water. Her goose bumps vanished, but the coldness inside of her soul did not melt.

She felt tears prickle behind her eyes and let them flow freely down her cheeks. Stupid! Oh, so stupid! Another sob wracked her body, and then she was crying loudly. O gods, she had been so stupid. He was gone now, had left her. Maybe he would never come back! And all because she had been so stupid, had clung to what she still felt as her obligation.

Kagome hugged her knees to her chest. She had never felt so miserable before.

Last night had been so … different. They had talked to each other which they had almost never done before. She blushed slightly as she remembered why exactly they had never found the time to do so. But somehow talking had so far never seemed to be necessary. Until last night when he had asked her to be his mate.

She cried harder. His mate. He had asked her, not simply decided she was his. Even though she was. He had asked her, and then he had asked her again …

Kagome remembered that one moment where she had made her decision. Everything had been so clear, so easy in that moment that she had not hesitated. But it was neither clear nor easy. When she had woken up this morning, lying next to him she remembered all her doubts from last night. Her friends, her family, her own time. Everything came back in one, great rush.

She had felt so guilty. She had been watching Sesshomaru sleep peacefully next to her, his relaxed face and the shadow of a smile on his lips, had marvelled that she had never before seen him sleeping, and revelled in the fact he trusted her enough to fall asleep when suddenly the face of another sleeping boy came to her mind. Inu Yasha. She had completely forgotten about Inu Yasha. She had given in to her desire and allowed Sesshomaru to mark her as his, and thus betrayed Inu Yasha in the worst possible way.

She could not change the fact that she had done it, but she could lessen the blow and sooth her conscience. She had promised Inu Yasha to stay with him as long as he needed her and she would stay true to this promise. She would stay with the hanyou, not matter how much she longed to be with his brother. That had been the moment when Sesshomaru had appeared behind her, and the words had spilled from her lips and she had ruined everything.

Kagome sobbed desperately. Last night she had felt … She was not able to name it. It had been so … overwhelming, so consuming, so painfully wonderful. Her mind wandered back to the moment she had answered his last question with an affirmation. It had been … indescribable. There had been pain as he had bitten her, sharp, excruciating pain. But there had also been lust, white-hot, searing desire. They had spread through her body, combined, and transported her mind to heights she had never believed possible.

She had felt him inside of her. Not only his hardened shaft, but him . His essence, for lack of better words, inside of her body, inside of her soul. She had been … complete then. Yes, complete. It had felt like she had found her other half; the soul that was compatible to her soul; the other half of the circle.

And she had ruined it all. Yet, what could she have done? She would have been miserable no matter which decision she had made. Had she stayed with Sesshomaru she would have felt guilty for betraying her friends and leaving them alone when they clearly needed her. So, she had given in to her troubled conscience and had chosen her friends. She trembled violently. She had given up completeness for her obligations. Had that been the right choice? Would she have felt marginally better if she had chosen to stay with Sesshomaru?

Her head ached from the myriads of thoughts whirling in her mind. Her soul ached because he was gone. Her heart ached, too. Her whole body ached and all she wanted was to creep into a hole somewhere and be left alone.

With leaden movements, Kagome washed her body and hair, tears still running down her face, head spinning with regret and self-accusations. She dressed and walked back to camp, her mind having gone numb by now. When she arrived she slipped into her sleeping bag, not bothering to dry her hair or change her damp clothes, not bothering to check if they were still all asleep. She curled up into a tight ball and buried her face in her little pillow. She felt nothing save the need to sleep and forget, to escape from this nightmare. Even the tears had dried.

Right before blissful sleep took her, her right hand came up to her shoulder, her fingers touching the mark. As her mind drifted off, she felt a wave of warmth and love rush through her body. Then she was asleep.