Innocent Beginnings

Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi
Author Note: Review! Reviews make me happy
Maggz


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Chapter 9: Dashing Through The Snow…

We left the restaurant and walked toward his car until suddenly, he was steering me AWAY from the car and down the block. It had started to snow once more and the flakes fell thick and fast around us.

“Ever feeke yke you were inside a snow globe?”. I laughed, sticking out my tongue to catch the flakes. It was beautiful and I’d never felt so special, so cherished…

I looked over at him and found him watching me, a strange expression on his handsome face.

“What is it?”, I grinned, touching my mittened finger to his red nose.

“Nothing.’, he said, tucking my hand into the crook of his elbow. “We’re going somewhere special.”

“You said that before… can’t you give me a clue, just one?”, I asked.

“…dashing through the snow… in a one horse opened sleigh…”, he sang into my ear and I smiled not half believing he could be THAT romantic!

He just smiled at me and led me straight to the horse drawn carriages that lined the next block. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who was quite the romantic this night. I should have known he’d have planned it out, though… and I should’ve known we wouldn’t have had to wait at all. He was after all, Sesshomaru Hara.

He stepped up into the next available carriage being led by two huge yet beautiful Clydesdale horses with sleighbells and big red velvet bows around their necks. Turning to me, he bent down and slid his hands underneath my armpits, lifting me up into the carriage with him. I found myself breathless as I stood against him in the cold evening air, snow falling all around us, his amber eyes so bright as they looked down into my own.

“What do you think?”, he asked, his grin widening as he settled me down into the seat next to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

“I think... I’m in love”, I started to say and nearly bit off my tongue.

“You think?”, he probed, tilting his head to one side.

“...that this is just the most perfect night EVER!”, I said and leaned my head against his shoulder… my heart too full to even speak.

He was quiet… his gloved hand holding my mittened one as the carriage started to move.

“I wanted to give you something special… and we’re not done by a long shot but I just thought this would be the thing to make you remember this night forever. I know I’VE never done this.”, he said as we rode past the city park.

I didn’t know what to say. I was so happy and so damned in love… words seemed somehow empty.

We were both silent through the remainder of the ride. Me, enjoying the beautiful Christmas lights that adorned every house and storefront and he… well, I’m not sure what was on his mind.

The carriage rounded the corner of the block it was to stop on and I felt his fingers tighten around my hand. My cheek rising from his shoulder, I looked up at him and saw his eyes as I’d never seen them before.

“A kiss, Rin? I mean, if that’s ok. Would it be ok? For Christmas?”, he asked.

I could scarcely believe it… he was asking if he could kiss me and he’d already kissed me once this night. My poor heart felt as if it would burst with joy. I simply nodded, my eyes never straying from his.

His gloved hand slid underneath my chin and tilted my head up toward him; I was only aware that his lips were moving closer and closer to my own. I took a breath, let it out and closed my eyes… and felt the softness of his mouth cover my own. The kiss, like the other he had given me back at my room was innocent and sweet… yet a bit longer than the perfunctory kisses he usually gave me upon arriving or leaving. I felt his hand move from my chin to my throat, though I clutched my own hands in my lap… so afraid to move for fear I’d spoil it all yet wishing I could touch him as well.

And then it was over…

“You can open your eyes, Princess.”, he said softly, his leather covered thumb sliding across my lower lip. I did as he requested, my eyelids heavy with the desire for another of his sweet kisses.

“Rin… I-”, he said and then the carriage jolted to a halt. The look on his face shattered and I felt something disappear that had seemed so very close to the surface.

I’ve never asked him to this day if he wanted to say he loved me that night. But I think that’s what it was…

*****

Soon enough we were back in the small confines of his car with the heat blasting it’s warmth against our frozen skin.

“Where to now?”, I asked, not wanting him to feel he needed to explain the kiss to me. And that was EXACTLat hat he’d try to do, somehow I just KNEW it. I wanted him to leave it alone and let me relive it over and over. I didn’t need his apologies or explanations.

“Well… how would you like a real family Christmas, Rin?, he asked me, a soft smile brightening his face.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”, I murmured, my heart starting to hammer against my ribs.

“I’m taking you home with me.” he said proudly.

“Your home? You mean, your family home.”, I said.

“Yeah…”, he said, his smile faltering just a bit.

“Oh.”, I answered weakly. I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint him and I was so damned afraid I was going to do just that. I was terrified of meeting his family… thinking it would somehow break the spell he and I were under when we were together. It was like we lived in our own little world and I never wanted to give that up.

“Rin?”, he said softly, pulling into a gated drive and waving at the security guard on duty. He let the car roll a few feet and then pulled over on the side of the drive, turning to look at me as he put his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Sesshomaru. I’m sorry.”, I whispered, feeling the sting of tears behind my eyes. I didn’t WANT to cry, I wanted the night to continue to be just as special as it had been. But I selfishly wanted him to myself… I just wasn’t prepared to share him.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Rin. You trust me, don’t you?”, he asked, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair as he looked down into my eyes.

“You know I do, Sesshomaru. It’s just… it’s YOUR family and I’d feel so… out of place. I don’t want to intrude.”, I said.

“You’re serious, aren’t ”, h”, he asked, surprise showing in his eyes.

“Of course, Sesshomaru. I know that Christmas is a family time. I know that you don’t see yours that much and I don’t want to push into that time. Please understand what I’m trying to say.” I begged. “You’ve done more than enough for me already!”

“I understand what you’re saying, sweetheart, but you’re wrong. My dad and Izayoi would be very upset if I didn’t bring you by for just a little while. We planned this together weeks ago, Rin. I won’t ask you to stay long if you don’t want to but I’d really like it if you would come with” he” he said.

“Oh, Sesshomaru…”, I whispered, feeling the tears fall from my eyes.

“I’ll take you back if that’s what you want, you know I will. I won’t push you.”, he repeated. “No pressure, right?.”, he grinned, ducking his head.

“Yeah, no pressure. I know, Sesshomaru. I’ll be OK. Just give me a moment.” I said, taking a deep breath. There was no way I could or would EVER knowingly disappoint or hurt him. I’d have hurt myself ten times over rather then see the look of pain cross his face in regards to anything I did. So taking one more deep, cleansing breath-I smiled and nodded.

“You’re sure?”, he asked.

“I’m sure.”, I nodded, smiling at him.

“Good girl. I’ll take care of you, you know that.”, he said, reaching over to squeeze one of my hands.

I didn’t have a doubt in my mind that he would take care of me. He’d done that and more in the time I’d come to know him. But I just wasn’t sure I wanted to be around other people yet and again, I selfishly wanted him to myself on this special night of all nights.

Sesshomaru pulled up in front of the house and smiled at me, reaching over to unhook my seatbelt. Cupping my chin in his hand, he gently squeezed and leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on the end of my nose. Winking at me, he leaned back and unfastened his own seatbelt before going for the door handle. I started to open my own door, jumping in surprise when he rapped his knuckles gently against the hood of the car.

“Stay put!”, he admonished and laughing, I waited until he approached my side to open up the door.

“M’lady!”, he teased, leaning forward to give me his hand. I clasped it and laughed again when he pulled me quickly up and into his arms. Dancing with me around the drive, he easily put my fears to rest and sent my heart spinning much like the soft drift of snowflakes that fell against us.

“Sesshomaru?”, I heard as he swept past the front steps once more, humming a tune in my ear. Stopping, he looked toward the slightly opened front door and grinned sheepishly, tightening his arm about my waist.

“Izzy.”, he laughed, hugging me to his side as he walked up the steps with me. “This is Rin Matsumoto. Rin, this is Izayoi, my step mom.”

“Hello, Rin. Honey, please come inside! You both are going to freeze!”, Mrs. Hara clucked softly, her eyes dancing.

“Hi. Thanks for having me over.”, I said, returning her smile once we entered the foyer.

“Merry Christmas and thank YOU for coming.”, she said, watching as Sesshomaru slid my coat from around me while I tugged off my mittens, relinquishing them. He shrugged out of his own coat and pulled his gloves off, opening up an immense hall closet to put our things away.

“Happy Christmas to you as well! It’s my pleasure, really.”, I insisted, feeling more and more at ease.

“What a lovely dress!”, she sighed, touching the beautiful velvet fabric at my waist. I slanted my eyes toward Sesshomaru and saw the sweetness of his gaze and somehow I knew that he hadn’t told a soul about the dress, other than who he just had to.

“Thank you.”, I said and felt the tug of Sesshomaru’s hand at my elbow.

“Are we in time for presents?”, he asked.

“Of course. You know we wouldn’t have started without you two!”, she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He smiled at me as we followed her into a beautifully decorated living room and I gasped aloud when I spotted the tree.

“Oh, Sesshomaru! It’s absolutely beautiful!”, I whispered, leaving the security of his arm to go and stand right in front of a gorgeously decorated fragrant tree. It stood at least nine feet tall, sweeping the ceiling in all its grandeur. I felt tears rise in my throat and then he was right there beside me, his arm sliding crtinrtingly around my waist once more as he pressed his head to mine.

“You ok?”, he asked softly and I nodded, my heart too full to speak. It reminded so much of the Christmases of my past that I suddenly found myself overwhelmed. It reminded me of my mom, my dad, my grandparents… and I was both touched and honored that he could’ve known me better than even I knew myself and that he would’ve wanted me to spend such a special time with he and his family.

When I turned to look at him, I saw something shining so clearly in his eyes… so strongly that it made me weak and I fell deeper still into the warmth he’d surrounded me with the entire evening.

I wonder now just how he could’ve expected me to stand back and patiently take what he offered up to me so willingly… without even realizing it for what it was at the time, I was sure. For what I saw in those big golden eyes of his was a promise of love more powerful than anything I’d ever witnessed in my entire life thus far.

“Sesshomaru! Rin!”, was what shattered the moment and I suppose for his sake, at the time, I should’ve been grateful. Blinking, he slowly looked away from me and smiled at InuYasha. He was flanked on either side by a young woman and a toddler that favored them enough that I rightly guessed him to be their son.

“InuYasha… Rin, this is Kagome, and this big boy here is Ichi.”, he smiled proudly, leading me over to them. They smiled, welcomed me and wished me a Happy Christmas as his step mother, who must have disappeared while I’d been admiring the family Christmas tree, entered the room along with InuYasha’s younger daughter Imari and his father. The family, though it wasn’t a big one, seemed to be very close, and with a quick Christmas blessing given by his father, the evening turned into a delightful celebration of the season.

Sesshomaru had nestled me onto the sofa between Kagome and Ichi, taking a seat on the floor at my feet as presents were passed round the room. I watched in near awe, trying to take in everything at once with his family. Ichi and Sesshomaru chattered and argued over cheats and strategies regarding a new Playstation Soccer game that they’d gotten as a present together. It seemed Ichi had went onto the Internet earlier in the day to print out a list of cheats and shortcuts before they’d even opened the gift and Sesshomaru being the typical uncle… well… he wanted to try to beat the game the RIGHT way before resorting to the shortcut method of winning.

Once or twice, Sesshomaru lay his head back into my lap and smiled at me or made a goofy face, checking to make sure I was getting along ok, I was sure. I could feel the softness of his hair as it brushed against my hands and I itched to pull a lock around my finger just once but held myself in check. It was enough to be ided ded in this family Christmas celebration- I couldn’t have asked for more.

Gifts were pushed into my hands and surprised, I picked up each one and read the name tag, running my fingers over the smoothness of the wrapping. I was afraid I’d cry, afraid I’d fumble unwrapping them, and touched beyond words.

“What did you get?”, Sesshomaru asked, turning away from his brother, InuYasha to smile up at me.

“Presents.”, I said, fiddling with the bright green curly cue ribbons.

“Want me to open them?”, he asked.

“Oh, Sesshomaru! Jeez! You’ll never grow up!”, Izayoi laughed, watching as he picked up one of the gifts piled into my lap and started to pull at the ribbon.

“Just hush it! You know you want to open them as much as I do!”, he grinned, winking at me as he lifted the lid on the box. Handing it over to me, he watched as I peeked inside and spied a beautiful silver candle holder shaped like an angel. I’d known his step mom had given me this one and looking up at her, I smiled and mouthed a thank you. She smiled at me, nodded and went back to opening hwn pwn pile of presents.

When all was said and done, I’dten ten a pretty fairy Christmas ornament, a pair of simple gold hoop earrings, three pairs of thick, colorful toe socks, a lovely silver bangle bracelet and a beautiful book of poetry.

After awhile, Sesshomaru pushed himself back against me, stretching his arms high over his head and leaning bacto mto my lap once again. “Happy Christmas!”, he grinned.

“Happy Christmas.”, I returned happily.

“I’m gonna grab something for us to drink. I’ll be right back.”, he said and got to his feet, following his brother into the kitchen. Mrs. Hara soon made her way over to me, taking the seat Ichi had vacated when he’d excused himself to go up to his room to play his new game.

“I’m so glad you could come, Rin. We can be a bit loud when we’re all together like this but we love Christmas and it’s been a pleasure sharing it with you. I Rin you’ve had a good time.”, she said, pressing her hands against my own.

“I had a very good time, Mrs. Hara. It’s something I’ll never forget.”, I said, feeling tears sting my eyes. Leaning toward me, she enveloped me in a hug and placed a kiss on the top of my head before releasing me.

“You come back often. Sesshomaru’s told us so much about you that we feel like we know you already. You’ve got a family here to come to when you need us, Rin.”, she said and patting my shoulder, got up to go see what mess her boys might have caused in her kitchen.

It wasn’t long before Sesshomaru returned to sit beside me on the sofa, giving me a cup filled with hot tea.

“How did you know this is just what I wanted?”, I smiled, wrapping my hands around the delicate cup and taking a quick sip.

“I know you better than you know yourself, Rin.”, he whispered, grinningme ome over the rim of his own cup.

“Scary thought.”, I quipped, looking about the room once more… just to be able to remember it all when I was back in my room later that night, alone.

“Did I say thanks for coming?”, he asked.

“You did.”, I answered, smiling when his niecee upe up to hug him from behind. Pulling her into his lap, he smiled down at her and quickly gave his tea up for me to hold as he tickled her silly.

“Sesshomaru! Stop that! She’ll be up all night long!”, Kagome laughed, plucking her daughter from his lap quickly and taking her back into the kitchen with her.

I took a breath and glanced at him, smiling when he cocked his head sideways at me.

“Ready to go, Cinderella? As much as I hate to do it, I promised to have you back by midnight. I begged to let you stay overnight with us but your favorite nurse insisted it was a no-no!”, he laughed, taking my empty cup from me as well as his own half finished one. “Gonna put these up and let Izzy know we’re leaving.”, he said.

“Why don’t you come over again, Rin?”, Kagome asked, leaning over the back of the sofa on her way to the kitchen.

“I’d love to. Thanks.”, I answered before Sesshomaru was there in front of me, offering me his hand. I took it, pulling myself up and stumbled slightly against him. I could feel the steady weight of his hand at my waist and looked up at him, blushing.

“You’re fine. You just sat too long AND it’s late. You and ve hve had a very, very busy evening, Princess. No worries, ok?”, he smiled down at me.

“No worries.”, I whispered, allowing my legs to grow accustomed to standing once again.

Telling everyone goodnight, getting back into my coat and gloves, Sesshomaru soon ushered me back out into the night, securing me into the car and climbing in himself. I looked back at the house as we pulled away and saw them standing in the doorway - his family… waving their goodbyes and calling out their ‘Merry Christmases’ and ‘Be safe, Sesshomaru’s’ and ‘Hurry back, Rin’s’ before we turned the corner and they disappeared from my line of sight.

When I’d lost my parents to the accident, I’d literally begged God to allow me to die as well the first three months in the hospital. It wasn’t the physical pain that had me feeling hopeless and unwilling to live… it was the thought of being so alone in my life. I’d lost all sense of Rin that I’d ever have anything close to what I’d shared with my mother and father and I’d stopped trying to live, to be…

But that night - that very first Christmas I shared with Sesshomaru - was the first time since the accident that I realized more than anything that I WANTED to live, wanted to BE, wanted to FEEL and experience, to laugh and to cry. I wanted my life back and I wanted that life to include… Sesshomaru.