Too Much Time On Their Hands

Sesshoumaru sat watching his Fathers plan another attempt at self mutilation. It wasn’t even twenty years yet and it was planned way before their birthday as usual. They were early this year; in fact it had only been a year since their last attempt at failure trying to kill themselves off like it would happen.

The two men were always trying something ridiculous and new. Sesshoumaru felt like he was the old man watching the two ancients trying to untangle lines, filling up backpacks with all sorts of nonsense, and actually discussing this crazy idea like it was something ingenious. The jerks were serious and it was very wrong for old men to act like this.

“Why don’t you two just give it up already? You want to be nuked and you know what that will do. You are going to glow in the dark for days, fill my house up with radiation, and I won’t be able to have my servants clean for months due to the foolish fear that they as lower demons can die.”

Alistair checked the equipment completely ignoring Sesshoumaru’s complaining.

“Son, we know what we did wrong and we are not going to get another attempt at this since the place will be shutting down soon. Jumping into a nuclear power plant right inside the radiation chamber should work.”

Touga stated as he checked the lines for the fifth time putting a thumbs up to Alistair. They were too damn happy about this plan and turned it into an all out mission.

“What is the point of nylon lines? You can’t bungee cord yourselves in there. They will melt.”

Alistair checked the lines again.

“Not with the spell I put on them. These babies will last longer than we will.”

Alistair stated firmly as he put them in the back pack. They were wearing cargo shorts and t shirts.

“So if the bungee cords are under a spell, what about your clothing? Last time it was hanging off of you and the time you went into the sun you both came back naked plus bald.”

Touga shrugged.

“So what is the big deal Sesshoumaru? We come back naked if it fails. It isn’t like it will scar you for life. It won’t be the first or last time you have seen us in such a way or enjoyed the sight since I still have it going on. In fact it wasn’t that long ago many other things happened and………”

Sesshoumaru frowned.

“That isn’t the point. Please, let us not go there right now since our child is still getting over that whole mess Father. It is a good thing that Aiko Akimitsu Tashio is not mentally scarred for life after what we did and that you still talk me into doing on occasion.'
"I cannot believe I let you two talk me into some of the things you talk me into. I am trying to be a good role model to my subjects, a good mate to my mates and you are not just corrupting me, you are corrupting them too you bastards. I am not having any more children with either of you. I am just glad Megan got me pregnant so I cannot have your offspring otherwise I may have to really follow in your footsteps insuring success in going to the afterlife since I don’t think I can go through that again.’
“Besides, we have the grandchildren here and I won’t have two naked old demons running around glowing in the dark. You will glow through your clothing and frighten the children with the way you two flirt causing certain unseemly moments in the middle of dinner.”

Alistair smiled.

“Ah, so you still notice. I guess we still are attractive to the young people Touga. We haven’t become all wrinkled and ancient like you told me we would. Besides, you enjoy the attention Sesshoumaru and we are all adults. You could say no, but we know you too well.'
"Be a demon man instead of such a big baby and quit complaining so much. You are acting like a snob again and I am already disappointed that you corrupted Raiden to be just like you. One anal retentive male in this family is enough. I am glad that Michael is not a snob anymore. Glad, glad, glad damn it all so quit being such a stuck up jerk.”

Toga shrugged.

“Maybe we will be ancient Japanese secrets and succeed for once Alistair. We could be in history books if we were not already. You never know what could happen once this is done. This is definitely something we should put in our memoires. Even if we fail it will be entertaining.'
"Oh, and before I forget please tell Tsukiya to quit making us cakes damn it all! We are too old for birthday cakes with a billion candles lit up like a bonfire. Last year was a disaster setting off all the damn fire alarms and sprinkler systems.”

Alistair laughed. That was funny as hell.

“Ah come on old man, where is your sense of adventure? Plus you look damn sexy wet so think how great that will be when you glow in the dark for me. You must wear white from now on so we can all enjoy the view.”

Touga frowned as Alistair winked at him flirtatiously.

“I give up on the both of you. You cannot be around the younglings if you glow in the dark so just stay at the strip joint Kouga and Miroku have been running for a month or so. They will love that and you can take that place back over again. It will bring up the value since I think Miroku’s remodeling job is something to be desired by perhaps Pimps with all the fringe he added along with the fur lined striped seat covers. It looks like the place went ‘low rider style’ as Inuyasha would say last time he stripped there and there were fewer patrons than normal that were nowhere near the class you were used to.”

Sesshoumaru stated firmly as he got ready to get up from the couch only to have Alistair yank him back down. Sesshoumaru knew what they were up to and wanted to bolt.

“You are going with us.”

Alistair stated with a feral grin. Touga grinned the same way at Sesshoumaru who looked at both men in horror.

“I am most certainly not. I do not abide by your foolishness and I most definitely will not join you in your quest for self annihilation.”

Alistair frowned at Sesshoumaru and grunted to Touga who took the matter well in hand.

“You will, it is a family tradition and you as well as all our offspring cannot live forever son. You cannot keep having children like you are doing. It must be controlled.'
"Either way it will be a successful mission because when you come with us we will get to see our grandson in the dark in your belly so it will be great. Think of it as science and you will be fine.’
“Besides, what kind of parent would I be if I made all of you children think you are invincible? You are getting old like us so it is about time you joined us.”

Sesshoumaru looked at his belly insulted they wanted to use him as a guinea pig in something he wanted nothing to do with especially being pregnant. Sesshoumaru saw pregnancy as a beautiful thing that was not only bringing life into the world, but beauty beyond any art he had ever seen. Seeing his Father’s glow in the dark naked was not his idea of art or science.

The best part of being a pregnant male was that he could carry the child and his Father had done so to bear him. It was a bit weird to hear that at first, but now it made perfect sense on why they were so close. It did not however explain demons weird habits of going through moments of these periods of incest orgies, but Father explained that was the way of demons considering they were far from being anywhere near human especially with what Father called stupid human morality.

Family was everything to the demon populations and in order to keep their demon species as pure as possible it was normal to do have sexual relations within the family even if it is abnormal to one race of people that could never live as long as demons did.

Humans were just a bunch of ants to the demons. Humans would all eventually die out anyway with the way they were running things according to all of the demons so for the most part they ignored most human beings unless they had to deal with them.

Anyway, Humans were far from ‘moral’ as far as Touga was concerned and he had been around long enough to witness it. Anything brought up about humans annoyed the hell out of Sesshoumaru's Father since it made him think of Izayoi who couldn’t be here and then he wanted to kill things so it was best not to talk about the human race.

“Son, your child most likely will not be killed, but this is for our race since you are having too many pups anyway. Remember we ancients went into the sun itself, bounced around, and came back a little tan. So we got a little burnt. It was all in good fun.”

Sesshoumaru remembered that day wishing he could forget it since the assholes did it again just a few months ago just to see if they did it wrong.

“Yes and it took two days for your damn hair to grow back. You looked like idiots and I happen to like my hair where it is.”

Alistair yawned as he looked at the time. It was two am and they knew three am was the best time to go since there would only be a few humans to kill to get in.

“You worry too much about such superficial things Sesshoumaru. Your hair would grow back in half a day twice as long as before. I mean look at ours. Prince Hojo’s demon hair growth pills are miraculous.”

Sesshoumaru crossed his arms as he tapped his foot grumbling about old men being ridiculous and how foolish this whole damn plan was. If they knew they wouldn’t die then what the hell was the point of all of this anyway?

“We just want to kill some time and some people son. It will be a good outing for you since you have been cooped up in this house for too long.”

Touga stated as he sat next to his son patting Sesshoumaru’s knee.

“You are insane Father. This is your idea of an outing? Why not just set the whole damn city on fire? I swear unless you are killing people by the thousands you two are miserable.”

Alistair frowned.

“We haven’t killed that many in a long time. I think you are over exaggerating again Sesshoumaru.”

Touga sighed softly than nodded agreeing with his mate as he got up to put on his back pack.

“Of course he is Alistair. He is pregnant and moody. That is why he needs to get out into some fresh air and kill some people. It will be good for the soul.”

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes.

“Do you even care that I don’t want to kill innocents? I am not a murdering bastard.”

Alistair put his hands on his hips growling.

“There is no such thing as an innocent human damn it all! How many times do I have to tell you that boy? Unless they are younglings or women they are fair game. Even some women I kill, but these bastards are everywhere. Do you really think they will miss a measly twenty people when they will breed at least a dozen in Utah before the week is done?”

Sesshoumaru looked at his Fathers completely insulted that they were serious about killing more people again when they just killed about a thousand two months ago in some war in some foreign place they wanted to check out to see if the locals really were that hostile. Apparantly it was true and a whole population was annihilated.

“What the hell do you have against Utah? Just because we decided to move to the United States and become citizens here in Maryland doesn’t mean Utah is the only state that has human children like it is going out of style you prejudice bastards.”

Touga and Alistair actually had the gall to look insulted at that comment while Sesshoumaru continued ranting at them.

“We have lots of demon children running around the world and I am sick of eating humans you two bastards. I want something other than fresh killed nasty human meat, fucking fast food, pizza, and Akiyoshi’s list of health food!'
"I also want my damn forests back, but I don’t see you out there trying to keep that alive! Instead you are contributing to the damn humans by getting all excited about jumping into a nuclear dome full of radiation after killing people who work there plus guard the place only to let them put that all over the news. They will want you to do that because humans never know what is good for them.'
"Once the damn humans show your stunt on the news you know what that will do to my forests? They will build something stupid there to protect the place right over one of my trees! I guarantee it!”

Touga smiled at his son and shook his head patting Alistair on the shoulder since he was losing patience ready to take Sesshoumaru over his knee if he didn’t stop complaining.

“Son, you are going with us and there will be no more arguing. We will kill anyone who tries to build anything more in your forests. In fact we will buy the damn land, but you will go with us tonight.”

Sesshoumaru growled.

"I already own the damn land. It is our children who I can't keep up with who multiply like damn rabbits who are building things over it every damn time the humans complain so they don't have to deal with them. I thought we were supposed to be training them not doing stupid crap like this!"

Alistair went to say something in response that that but the door opened at that moment and the last person all three men expected to see walked in. Touga swallowed hard since he was not expecting this at all. Some people were here to see him.

“Hello boys I am home.”

Louna, Sesshoumaru’s Mother was standing at the door looking radiant, yet rather old fashioned. The beautiful Inu Queen took one look at her mates and both men knew that their plans were shot to hell. She was of course followed in by his Father and Mother as well as hers. This sucked and Alistair was looked at as though he too were in trouble. Alistair fidgeted a bit since he also saw his own Father in the pack of them with his Mother tapping her foot at her son shaking her head. They were not going anywhere today.

“Hello dearest. What made you decide to drop by in the flesh?”

Touga stated as he wasn’t sure if saying anything more was a good idea since his wife wasn't that easy to understand especially since he hadn't been to the castle in years to see her. He had been too busy with Alistair and making up all sorts of interesting ideas to try out for the next century.

At that moment Touga was terrified and felt like he was the one in trouble although his wife didn’t say anything yet about his mating mark he was rubbing with one hand hoping she wouldn't see it. He never unmated Luna nor asked permission to be Alistair’s mate. This would be an interesting birthday for him and anniversary for the two Inus.

Sesshoumaru wanted to run, but he knew if he did one of them would catch him so he just hoped that no one else showed up surprising them since this was just not his day.