Too Much Time On Their Hands

Sesshoumaru thought about what his Father told him and was rather confused at why everyone still insisted he was walking around like he had a stick up his ass. He had actually mellowed quite a bit and was concerned that if he was too out of control like the rest of them he might become one of them. The last thing Sesshoumaru wanted was to be like anyone other than himself. What was wrong with being the only sane person in the house?

“Sesshoumaru we are giving you the strip club. Do with it as you will. We are going to try to kill ourselves again. We haven’t been shot yet by guns and Alistair wants to see if this will work. I am certain it will. We probably won't be back so don’t wait up for us.”

Touga stated and Sesshoumaru looked at his Father like he went off the deep end. At least once every twenty years the two Alphas’ would go out and try to commit suicide in some form since they felt they lived too long.

Sesshoumaru just found out his whole damn family was really alive including Izayoi due to his Father's blood only to be told that they just left their spirits wandering around the castle for a break including hers. It was really messed up because of course she had no body to go back into since hers had deteriorated as a human. Still Izayoi was there in the castle for Inuyasha and his Father to visit.

Ronin, Raiden, and Luna were just healing in some back room that the elders hid them in with a barrier until they were able to move again since they were too young to heal normally from such a bad car accident so they were almost ready to ‘come out of the oven’ as Alistair so gracefully put it. It was apparent they were all immortal and couldn’t die by any conventional means so they went to entertain themselves by doing stupid things like try to die in different ways that may work.

“You two tried to drown yourselves, you have been to the moon, became bald by the sun which you said only bounced you around a bit before spewing you both out without a stitch of fur left on you which had to smell terrible leaving you both with a suntan for two days until all your fur grew back, and now you want to have someone shoot you? What haven’t you tried yet? Experimental shark bait?”

Alistair frowned at Sesshoumaru.

“We already tried that. The sharks never had a chance.”

Sesshoumaru looked at his Fathers and then shook his head trying to ignore them.

“So what did you want for your birthdays, heaven knows I cannot come up with enough candles. We will burn the house down.”

Sesshoumaru stated as he waited for an answer. It was obvious they were both planning for this ridiculous ludicrous thing to work so they didn't want anything. He opted to read continue reading his newspaper because it was safer than trying to figure out these odd people who were strangely related to him by some force beyond his control. If Sesshoumaru had his way they would both get their heads examined to see if they had any brain cells left.

Megan and Inuyasha were out surfing. Inuyasha swore he could teach a cat to not only swim, but surf so after much arguing and finally daring her to do it she complied. They were out basking in the sun. Only Jimmy and Tsukiya were here with him having to put up with Touga and Alistair’s insanity along with Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha and Megan had grown used to it that they just always told Touga and Alistair to have a great time trying to get themselves killed and that they would see them later.

Tsukiya came downstairs during the middle of this conversation with her hands full of candle boxes.

“I calculated your birthday Grandpa Touga and you are officially 5258 years old today. Isn’t it great? I have every single candle counted out and I think your cake will be big enough.'
"Grandpa Alistair’s birthday is tomorrow and he is going to be 5557 years old. That means you are not that far apart in age. You are exactly 299 years apart in age. I read all about your lives in demon history and the scrolls so I know all about you both.'
"I so love math and college. It is great you guys came up with the demon university even if SOME PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES about their mate’s becoming smarter than they are JIMMY!”

Jimmy came down the stairs and frowned.

“So what is it going to be this year? You gonna try death by mutilation or jumping off a cliff?”

Alistair snorted at his son.

“Oh please, we did that years ago. No we are going to be shot by a shotgun, then some semi automatics. I think we pissed off the gang bangers enough that they will get us for this either that or they will entertain us by shooting each other. Either way it works out if we just stand in the middle then let the bullets hit us. Perhaps we have been just too blasé about this whole thing Touga. We are not doing it right.”

Sesshoumaru couldn’t believe his own ears. It was bad enough his childish mates supported this, but now his own kids?

“Quit corrupting the children!”

Sesshoumaru growled out. He was tired of everyone going insane and of course it was both of his Father’s faults. Alistair and Touga shrugged.

“We have done this for hundreds of years; maybe we will have a solution. Touga has been practically eaten by dragons; I have been scorched by acid over and over again. We have to keep up with the experimentation otherwise you all will think you can live forever. What good will that do? We can’t keep having so many children if we are going to live forever so it is our job since your Great Grandparents…..the lazy asses……. stopped trying to continue the traditions.”

Alistair stated as Touga followed him out the door looking rather weird with their red bandanas on going to meet a bunch of guys who were going on a drive by then were supposed to have some kind of a gang war in the middle of a park with a bunch of guys in blue bandanas with also a few in gold. It was to be a real blood bath.

“Why do I have to have the club?”

Sesshoumaru yelled as both his Fathers left to do something stupid again. He was always responsible for cleaning up their messes all the time and he was getting sick of it. Grabbing the cell phone he called up Kouga.

“Hey, what’s happening you hunk of burning love?”

Miroku answered teasing thinking it was Inuyasha calling.

“Miroku will you stop doing that to me!”

Sesshoumaru growled out.

“Oh……..Sesshoumaru…….sorry I thought you were Inuyasha.”

Miroku whimpered out a bit. He and Inuyasha had their phone sex thing down to a science. They were going to get Megan and Michael to help them prank normal people in the phone book since they had fun doing that to humans and to each other.

The heavy breathing really seemed to piss them off, but panting always was the best route. Megan was really good at pretending to be a solicitor on the phone asking people if they bought vibrators recently and how did the feel about the product asking them to do a survey over the phone for quality assurance.

'Is it vibrating at the right speeds and are you getting the ultimate pleasure from your product? It has not shocked you because if it is model 2130 of the large pink dildo size we have had a recall on them due to accidental fatality which of course is not covered by our guarantees.'

Their last phone call had everyone rolling on the floor except Sesshoumaru who had to walk in at the worst time. The guy had no sense of humor and he took the phone book from them telling them they were grounded from it after he acid blasted the thing.

“You want to talk to Kouga I guess.”

Miroku stated dejectedly.

“No, just tell him that you two are now the proud owners of Touga and Alistair’s strip club. Oh, and please change the name. I do not want to have the dog demons insulted by such a tawdry name. “Dog Tails’, only my Father would think of something that pathetic. That is all.”

With that Sesshoumaru hung up and went back to reading his newspaper while Tsukiya pulled out the gigantic cakes from the fridge to put every candle she bought on them. She even got all dressed up in a pink frilly dress with bows and ribbons.

Tsukiya went all girly for this event and Jimmy frowned thinking his mate looked like she should be the cake rather than do this crap. Licking his lips as she bent over Jimmy came behind his mate making it absolutely obvious what he wanted as Tsukiya kept smacking him only making Jimmy try harder with a wicked grin on his face.

“Quit worrying about the old men. They won’t even eat it. They love what you do babe, but I can do something a lot more entertaining………”

Jimmy whispered into Tsukiya’s ear. Tsukiya frowned.

“We just did that five minutes ago and you want to do it again? Is that the only part of your body you think with? Why are you so damn horny all the time Jimmy? Are you pregnant again?”

Tsukiya frowned as she looked at Jimmy who smiled wide and shrugged.

“Maybe, who cares? Even if I am not come on, the elders are right, these candles will start a fire especially the way Alistair huffs and puffs.”

Jimmy smirked as he mentioned his Father who as far as he was concerned was the biggest bad ass wolf in the whole house. Jimmy adored and practically worshiped the man.

“Yes, well you will have to wait. I am not changing again.”

Tsukiya stated as Jimmy frowned then flopped on the couch. Reaching over to flirt with Sesshoumaru his hand was slapped.

“No…….I told you Jimmy I am going to be monogamous with my mates.”

Jimmy pouted and sat back then looked at Inuyasha and Megan.

“You are anal. What about teaching us how to do things right? I thought that was your job.”

Sesshoumaru looked past the newspaper then lifted the crystal paper weight that was on the table with his powers dropping it on Jimmy’s head.

“Watch your mouth young man.”

Jimmy rubbed his head and growled at Sesshoumaru.

“You know it ain’t gonna last. You live forever Sesshoumaru, just watch Alistair and Touga. When they get back they will still be alive.”

Jimmy stated sulking at Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru smirked at Jimmy’s comment and kept reading after taking a sip of his tea.

“Yes I am aware of this Jimmy. They do this every twenty years. Why would this year be any exception? I know them better then you, I have been around longer then you have, and I am not going to bed with you to teach you anything you do not already know. We have been there, done that. I am only accepting loyalty from my mates as should you.'
"By the way, Ronin, Raiden, and Luna will be here tonight. I highly suggest you take Luna as well as the others. Perhaps this will keep you out of trouble and off my back.”

Jimmy nodded and then sighed leaning back on the couch.

“Still, they are not you.”

Sesshoumaru smiled.

“Compliment accepted, but it is still no.”

Jimmy huffed then got up. He needed to run or do something. He was so damn frustrated and Tsukiya looked too beautiful. He wanted her right now and wanted that pink thing off of her. She looked ridiculous. Tsukiya was no longer some child and she looked like a teenage prom queen so it was good for a fantasy.

“Tsukiya I don’t care if you want to put every damn candle on there. You are not going to wear that tonight with our family showing up for their birthday. Every damn person in our family will be here and they will think I robbed the cradle.”

Tsukiya went to say something only to be swept off her feet and carried upstairs by her mate who refused to take no for an answer. Sesshoumaru then put down the newspaper breathing a sigh of relief. Alone at last with no one around to pester him or annoy him. It was like heaven.

Getting up he stood out on the balcony watching his mates as Inuyasha was showing Megan how to surf. This was how things should be. Sipping his tea he felt the breeze blowing his long silver hair about him and was grateful that his Fathers had their birthdays around the same time since it would be so annoying to have so many people around if they were different days. The house would be full of demons and others were to stay in other areas of his estates. He had several now built and his family had grown even beyond his comprehension. He had more children than he could count and they had children. It was not fair, but such was life.

It was amazing that at one point in his life he had been so very alone and now he was surrounded. There was comfort in that which is why it made no sense at all at why his Fathers kept trying to mutilate themselves every twenty years. Sesshoumaru just hoped he wouldn’t get to be that insane when he got older. It would be interesting though to see the results of this endeavor since this indeed was the first time his Fathers will have been shot in their lives. It was amusing since Sesshoumaru had indeed been shot before and the damn thing bounced off of him like a flea leaving a small mark that faded in less than a minute. Sesshoumaru didn’t tell his Fathers that, but they would find that disappointment out for themselves so that indeed would be entertaining.