Innocent Beginnings

Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi

Author Note: Review! Reviews make me happy

Maggz


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Chapter 8:Magical, mystical, memorable…

We were sitting in the private dining room in the most exclusive restaurant in town. I knew because my father had treated me here for each and every birthday I’d celebrated since I’d been able to handle a spoon, knife and fork.

I’d watched in wonder as Sesshomaru was recognized by the staff the instant we stepped into the place- recognized and catered to like the true royalty he was. I was so proud of him and my heart swelled with love and pride as took in everything happening around me.

He’d taken my coat, unfurled the scarf from around my neck, slid the gloves off my nervous hands and handed it all over to the cloakroom attendant. Then he’d peeled his own off and handed them over as well, leaving me to drool over him standing there in his soft, snug sweater and dressy trousers. I closed my eyes and hugged myself… sheer perfection…

We were led back into the inner recesses of the restaurant, Sesshomaru’s hand never straying from the small of my back. I knew I’d never forget that feeling for the rest of my life… and hadn’t even permitted myself to dream of the kiss he’d given me… THAT would wait until I was alone and could sigh over it to my heart’s content.

I had assumed it was to be a dinner party with several guests I’d be expected to carry on conversations with. So I was shocked when we were led into a private section of the place that sat overlooking the sea and stars.

“Oh, Sesshomaru!”, I breathed. It was beautiful! I’d NEVER been treated to the private dining area and to know I had Sesshomaru alone and all to myself for as long as our meal lasted just toppled me.

“You approve?”, he grinned, taking my hand to lead me to the window.

“Oh… yes… yes, I do!!”, I breathed. I didn’t know what to say and hoped my reaction alone would tell him how I felt.

“Happy Christmas, little one. I’ll say it a thousand times tonight to you.”, he whispered. I looked up at him… loving him more than anything I’d ever known.

“Oh Sesshomaru, thank you!”, I said. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and rain kisses over his entire face but I took a breath and let it slowly out. One day… oh yes, one day…

“Sir, are you ready for drinks?”, a beautiful dark haired waiter politely interrupted. I looked at him, then back at Sesshomaru, who smiled down at me and nodded. Leading me to my chair, he seated me and then sat down himself directly across from me. He must’ve had everything set up in advance for he never paused to consult the wine list or the menu. Everything just magically appeared before us, one thing right after the other.

We were served appetizers, soup, salad with baguettes, a main course of Sesshomaru’s favorite steak and then a rich dessert. I ate every bit of it, every single crumb and drank three glasses of wine as well. Sesshomaru had asked the waiter not to interrupt us after our entrée was served… preferring privacy, he’d said. He refilled my wine glass twice, never pausing as he talked or listened to what I had to say.

“So what else will you have, Rin?”, he grinned, eyeing my empty dishes.

“Not one thing. I’m just stuffed!”, I sighed. “Thank you.”

“You can stop telling me that. I know you’re happy and it’s YOU I should thank for agreeing to spend this night with me.”, he said. Oh Christ, he knew how to make a girl cry, didn’t he? Tears spilled down my cheeks before I even realized it and he was up out of his chair in an instant, pulling me to my feet as he led me over to the wind overlooking the sea once more. Putting his strong arms around me, he rocked me to and fro until I was quiet, lifting a handkerchief from his trouser pocket like a magician to wipe away my tears.

“What did I say to make you cry?”, he asked, tilting my chin up so that my eyes locked with his. “I never want to make you cry.”

“I’m… you didn’t do anything, Sesshomaru. I’m just so… so… happy!”, I said, feeling my chin start to tremble once more.

“You cried happy tears for me, is that so? Are you telling me the truth?”, he asked, frowning slightly.

“Yes, I did. You have been so good to me, Sesshomaru. Sometimes I feel selfish that I want you all to myself when I know thousands would just die to be in my position. But I like being with you and I never want to give that up.”, I said, a sob escaping my chest.

“Rin! What makes you think you’d ever HAVE to give it up? You and I have adapted nicely to our relationship, I’d say. You’ve never once complained about the time I’m away. Never. I’m the one that feels selfish because I can’t give you more of my time.”, he said.

“No, Sesshomaru. I don’t want you to feel that way.”, I said, terrified that he’d come to see my as an obligation.

“Then you understand how I feel when you say the same.”, he smiled.

“Can I say something?”, I asked him.

“You know you can.”, he said, his hand closing around mine.

“I never want you to… and don’t get mad at me... just hear me out, ok?”, I said, I knew how his temper could flare and tonight I didn’t want to give him fuel for that.

“I’m listening and I’d never get mad at you, Rin.”, he said then laughed heartily when I rolled my eyes at him. “Ok, Ok... you got me there but no, I won’t get mad at you tonight. It’s Christmas, Rin.”, he said.

“Ok.”, I took a breath. “My worst fear is that one day you’ll come to see me as an obligation and there would be nothing… I repeat… NOTHING worse than that for me. If you ever feel as if it IS an obligation, I want you to stop coming to see me. I don’t ever want it to be that way between you and I. I know you have a life outside what you give to me. I know it’s ay liy life and a stressful one. I DON’T know how it is, though… only what you’ve shared with me. But I never want to get in the way, Sesshomaru. Please…”, I said.

Strangely, I felt as if a huge boulder had been moved off my chest- one that I’d not know existed until I’d rolled it away. Voicing my fears to him had relieved me of them in a way and for that, I was thankful -until I saw the look in his eyes.

“Sesshomaru?”

“Just a minute.”, he said, holding tightly to my hand as he turned his back to me for just a moment. I didn’t know what to think. Was he going to tell me that the time had come to say goodbye? That he had too much responsibility outside me and just couldn’t handle it all anymore? I felt my heart stop… waiting for him to turn to me and just say what was on his mind.

“Rin.”, he said finally, his back still to me, his thumb rubbing over my fingers. “I’ve never, ever felt as if you were an obligation. It’s one of the things that keeps me going when everything else is going to hell all around me and sweetheart, that happens more times than I want you to know.”, he said, finally turning to look at me. I saw the sheen of unshed tears in his golden eyes and took a breath.

“Talking to you when I’m away… sitting down to type out those crazy emails to you, getting one back from you to read for myself, buying you things and visiting you when I come home… I love that. You’re a brave young woman, Rin Matsumoto and when the world looks like it’s getting a bit harsh on my side, I just take a look at what you’ve done with yours and I feel so much better. You are a treasure. I’m gonna protect that treasure with everything in me. Don’t think you’re gonna be rid of your Sessho THAT easily!”, he smiled as a tear slipped down his cheek. He moved his hand to swipe at it but I grabbed his wrist before he could and pulled it away, pressing my own thumb there to erase the tear.

“Rin. Thanks for dropping into my life and making me feel special.”, he said.

“Sesshomaru… it’s not me-”, I said suddenly, realizing he must’ve let the wine go to his head. What did I give to him? What had I EVER given to him? Nothing but my heart, I realized and silenced myself. Had anyone truly ever given him her heart? Had they?

“Shhhhh…”, he said, placing a finger against my lips. “Have I answered your questions, calmed your fears, Rin?”, he asked as he removed his finger from my lips and smiled down at me.

I could only nod.

“Good, because now you are going to dance with me here and then I’m taking you someplace very, very special to me.”, he said.

I saw him nod to an invisible person somewhere to my right and behind me seconds before gentle music drifted over, above and around us. It was Christmas music… lovely and soft. He looked down at me and cocked a brow, making me laugh in spite of my whirling emotions. Extending his hand to me, he grinned when I accepted and threaded his fingers through mine as his other hand settled at my waist.

We danced for a long time or maybe it wasn’t. Sometimes when I think back over that night now, it seems as if the time I spent pulled into his arms with him humming into my ear was over before it even began. Then there are other times that I can close my eyes and relive every step, every bar, every note… and it seems as if it went on for an eternity.

I’ve never known a feeling again such as I felt that night. I’m not really sure if he was already in love with me then or not. I’m not sure that he would’ve accepted it, even if it WAS what he felt.

But I knew what I felt… what I’d always and forever feel for him. I LOVED HIM, more than anything in my world.