My Life is My Pain

Chapter 7:

He has not invited me to his room, it has been like that for twelve days now. Ever since the meeting of that new half-breed.

Naraku.

Such an interesting man, or demon, or half demon, or... does it even matter?

No, not to me. I am surprised, but I find an attraction to this Naraku character.

Father probably notices, for the events of that day did not play out in his favor. Rather in mine, or Naraku’s, however it is looked at, by the end of that day, I could only muster up the courage to look at my father’s feet.

He finds it disrespectful to avoid his stare when he is speaking anyone, particularly me. But seeing as he has not spoken a word to me since, then that leaves a loop hole in that rule, no?

Hm, it is funny. I would have never even thought of trying to outwit my father, but ever since that day, ever since I met him.

Its only been twelve sunsets, but already, I feel a change in my life, and I am happy for myself.

The only ones who seem to be upset, are father....and surprisingly,

Inuyasha.

Is what I did, to be considered so bad? For if that is bad, then words must not exist to explain what my father has done to me.

Or is it all the same, maybe Inuyasha is not angry for the reasons I wish to believe. Maybe he is just like Inu no Taisho...after all they are related. And going back to that day, had I not expressed jealousy of Inuyasha’s friends?

Perhaps, it is Naraku they detest, after all....

He is the one who provoked the events of that day.....

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“I am, Naraku.”

Maybe he was not aware of the flush that spread across his face, or perhaps he just attempted to ignore it. But the feeling of this half-breeds breath being able to brush so unjustly close to his skin, was able to send a shiver through Sesshoumaru’s person, in which he hoped no one else had noticed.

“What is your business here, Naraku?” Normally, the young Lord would leave the questioning up to his father while sitting quietly in the audience. However, today, he felt oh so daring.

“I happen to live here, Koinu*. However, it seems you were not aware of that, and I must say I am hurt by such an idea.”

A hand dared to raise itself to rest comfortingly on the young Lord’s shoulder, before moving up his pale cheek, finger tips carefully tracing magenta strips and continuing their journey through a tussle of silver hair.

How DARE he! How dare he touch the person of this Lord Sesshoumaru,, the lack of respect Naraku shows will surely get him punished.

But, though Sesshoumaru wants so maliciously to dig his poisonous claws into the throat of this simple half-breed, he loses his thoughts as those same finger tips crawl up the back of his neck, counting the lumps of his protruding spinal cord before taking a dive into his moonlight hair, swimming elegantly through soft locks to rest on a perfectly molded scalp....and they begin to scratch, no that movement can not be describe as scratching, more like rubbing; somehow similar to how a mother would coax her child to sleep, or how a maiden would show affection to her sleeping lover.

Either way, Sesshoumaru, though he hated to oblige, was being affected by this simple gesture.

A tingle ran through his leg and he forced it to stay still. It took a while for him to be able to control such embarrassing canine reflexes, but he had managed to teach himself at a young age, as to not be persuaded by Inu no Taisho.

His breath was hitched in his throat, so he was not able to speak. No, speaking was definitely not an option, for he was not sure how the tone of his voice would sound.

How about glaring? Yes, glaring could work.

Amber eyes slid to a dangerous narrow and rose to stare into, such... beautiful ruby eyes.

Sesshoumaru lost himself again as he stared into those red orbs, a whimper wanted to rise in his throat, but he quickly pulled it back, making sure to never take his eyes off of those hypnotizers.

A growl was heard, very feral, very menacing, but it was not coming from Sesshoumaru, and it was not a sound from Naraku, for Naraku, was purring.

Purring? Who knew a spider could purr.

But that was the sound coming from deep within his broad chest and Sesshoumaru found himself almost forgetting about the growl that had caught his attention, not a few stand stills ago. But no, he had to find out, who it was who was growling, such an annoyance had to be dealt with.

Then that scent hit his nose, the scent of anger, the scent of jealousy....the scent of his father.

Sesshoumaru had forgotten who was present amongst the group who had ventured to see the Mysterious Naraku, and his father was one of them.

The young Lord attempted to turn his head in order to face Inu no Taisho, maybe he could think of a plea that would calm the rising vengeance of his father, but behold, that damn Naraku, his hands still glued to his scalp, would not allow Sesshoumaru to turn.

He instead pulled him closer, dangerously close.

A warm breath of air was the first to touch his cheek, followed by a pair of lips. They were soft, light, butterfly kisses, one on each of his right cheek strips.

Sesshoumaru had never felt such gentle touches, the kisses he received were always so, rough and lust filled. Never had a kiss from his father been as tender and loving as this.

The only time he could remember ever receiving such affection, was from a memory, very blurry, but embedded into his deep conscious, maybe it was from his birth...it had to be, for he was too young to understand, but still aware of his surroundings.

He remembered suckling soft skin, warm milk flowing into his hungry mouth, he was still too young to open his eyes though and all he could do was listen, listen to a soft voice singing, so sweetly to him.

“In you and I there’s a new land. Angels in flight.*”

A giggle rose in his throat, his first show of laughter since the time he was born. This seemed to make the voice happy for it too laughed, a gentle laugh, followed by gentle lips.

A kiss on the pale blue moon mark of his forehead.

This sends the new born pup into another fit of giggles. The voice resumes its singing.

“My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah...”

That memory ends there, he’s not sure if it was his mother, or whom, the scent had long ago faded from his memory. But that person had been so kind to him, kind enough to earn a mark in his past, so then it could not have been his mother, could it?

Sesshoumaru’s eyes open, he just realized that they had been closed. His hands are gripping a silk like fabric...Naraku’s clothing.

Not caring anymore, he tugs lightly and quickly the body that was so close to him, invading his personal space, was now too far away, not close enough, he needed that warmth.

Without realizing what he was doing, Sesshoumaru turned his head so those soft lips drew closer to his own.

And the closer those lips got, the more his need arose, rose to the point that his breathing became raged, and quickly turned into moans.

However, just as those lips were about to reach contact, all warmth faded, and he was cold.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes, once agai, not noticing that they had shut. He immediately began to look around for his warmth, but it was gone.

Instead his eyes were met by a bright gleaming...the blade of Tessaiga. His father had attacked Naraku, but had he succeeded in killing him?

“He got away, dad.” Inuyasha’s voice sounded from the background.

The sword was put back into it’s sheath as Inuyasha took to his brother’s side.

“Are you ok, Sesshoumaru? What the hell were you doing? You should have went to dad’s side as soon as that guy appeared! Why did you let him touch you like that?”

The young Lord however, ignored his younger brother, instead focusing on his father who had yet to cease his consistent growling.

Inu no Taisho’s eyes searched the area to make sure Naraku was indeed gone, he knew he had missed, not on purpose, but the spider was quicker than he had thought. His immediate scent still lingered where he once stood, however Naraku himself, was still in motion far away from there.

Good, now attention could go back to Sesshoumaru.

The latter bowed his head as the Western Lord Dog General, started his walk toward him.

An eerie silence feel over the river side.

He then knew that what he had done, was wrong in the eyes of his father, however, he realized that he did not care too much about what his father thought was wrong.

But still, it might be a good idea to try and lessen the situation.

“Father...I...”

Words were not to be completed as a large hand connected with the young pup’s cheek, the same one Naraku had kissed, sending the receiver stumbling, his hair covering his face, a hand flying to his cheek as he caught himself from falling.

He could already feel the burning sensation starting, most likely a sign of the bruise to come, but he was not able to focus on any pain, as his arm was snatched and tugged by the same hand which slapped him.

Sesshoumaru stumbled clumsily behind his father, who kept a painfully tight grip on his arm as he dragged the eldest puppy toward, what Sesshoumaru hoped to be home. Inuyasha turned to the shocked faces of Miroku and the young Villager, who had been long forgotten, then turned attention back to his father who had yet to let up the pressure put onto his brother’s arm, at this rate he would lose his left limb*.

“Dad, you’re over reacting. Come on, you’re hurting.....”

“SILENCE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, INUYASHA!”

The mouth of said pup, shut immediately. He wanted to continue but for once, feared the penalty he would receive if he did speak out.

So he was forced to follow in complete silence.

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After that long embarrassing drag back home, I was pushed through castle doors and tossed onto the floor, by the look on Inuyasha’s face, I was sure he wanted to dispute such indecent behavior from our father, but he was once again silenced, this time by a glare that was not even directed to him.

We both foresaw my beating, or at least we thought. Instead, my father simply stepped around me and started his journey down the main hall, most likely to his room.

“Both of you, out of my sight. It is past sunset, head to your rooms.”

I immediately stood from the ground, and started off toward my quarters, ignoring Inuyasha’s calls after me.

Not that I was mad, no I was far from it, I was stimulated, I had yet to get over the touches Naraku left on my body.

The rest of that night was spent in my room, not knowing what to do with myself. It was odd, I had never gotten such a sensation, even when in heat, I usually just received a stomach sickness.

But this time, the sickness was in a lower region but it was not pain, it was something else I had never felt before.


Well now, here I am and I still have yet to know what to do with myself. It should not matter however, it is much past sunset, sleep should be calling soon.

I wish to dream of Naraku again, I have not seen him since that day, he had escaped, but I am still here. Locked in this room, only to be let out for meals, baths, or study. Guards are now kept outside of my room, I do not see why father has gone to such measures, perhaps he saw something of that day that I did not. He was good at predicting future problems, he must think I want to see Naraku.

And it is true, I want to see him, I need to see him.

The only other person who knows this secret besides father and I, is Inuyasha. I informed him of this, not on purpose, but during one of our bath times, it just slipped out. Without even thinking, I casually asked him where he thought Naraku might have gone and if he would return to the river side.

That was mistake though, for surprisingly, Inuyasha became angry. Angry enough to walk off and leave me by myself which was forbidden by our father, so I was not as surprised when he received a scolding later that evening.

So Inuyasha has spoken little to no words to me since our incident at the hot springs, and father has not spoken directly to me since our incident at the river side.

Maybe tonight, that will change, for there is a knock at my door, and a guard enters upon request.

I study his features they are soft, but strong, he reminds me of the young Villager. Remembering said boy, I smile at the guard, in which a deep red blush appears on his face.

This is good to know, I can possibly use him later on, after all I am growing rather tired of sitting in my room.

“You wish to speak to me?”

Clearing his throat, the guard steps fully into the room, holding the door wide open as he bows.

“Yes, my lord. Your father wishes to see you in his study.”

I stand from the bed and stretch lightly, just enough to give the guard somewhat of a show. Before pushing my hair out of my face and walking past his lingering eyes.

So father wishes to see me?

Either he is finally going to forgive me, or I am in for a due beating.

TBC....

*Koinu- “Puppy” in Japanese.
*Song sung to Sesshoumaru as a baby- Sanctuary by Utada Hikaru....Woooo Kingdom Hearts! I was just gonna have a nursery rhyme sung to him, but then this song came to mind...GO ME! ^_^
*The whole, Sesshoumaru losing his left limb thing- It was a joke people....get it...Sesshoumaru lost his arm in the manga...hahaha?.... hehehe?....never mind -_-

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