Affliction

"In this fading hour of silent dreams, all falls quiet in front of me..."

Rancid aromas filtered through the cluttered kitchen, mounds of dirty dishes and overflowing trash heaped upon the linoleum as well as the sink; a blanket of dust and other miscellaneous debris snowed over pictures and plates, a sticky substance oozed from beneath the refrigerator. Dampness lurked about, puddles of water scattered about as a bitter breeze leaked from the windows, the air reaching out with death-like fingers. Sprawled among the garbage, Inuyasha laid in a curled mass with a maze of cuts; such a grisly sight to behold. Shinning like a beacon in the murky lamplight, a syringe had still been connected within flesh, a thick and transparent liquid dripped freely from the wound. Splotches of purples and blues made the hanyou appear as some deformed leopard. A lethargic gaze settled within somber eyes, caked tears mixed with dirt smeared across porcelain cheeks. Inuyasha was falling apart, placing the blame of his state upon Sesshomaru. The youkai was ironhard, an entity molded from the darkness of the far corners of Hell. According to Inuyasha, he had done nothing to deserve the cold-blooded treatment by his brother. Loving kisses, gentle touching...all insults to the injuries already suffered by the hanyou.

"I have to think, I must believe, that this is only sleep..."

Darkness entombed Inuyasha's sight as his breathing became raspy, forced. Grieving - the younger sibling had been grieving for his lover, his adored, his Sesshomaru. His. He could never truly claim Sesshomaru.. Reeling upon his forearms, Inuyasha's chin dipped into his chest as choked sobs began to tumble through the thunderous silence as the painful realization of never being able to forever be with his beloved began to haunt him. Inuyasha jerked as the frail body began to deman more of the opiate which soothed the beast within. Gnashing his teeth like some wild animal, the hanyou toppled to the flooring once more, his head cracking against the edge of a cabinet door. Splatters of blood swirl into downy mane, staining the white into a sickening deep crimson tint. Inuyasha shot a desperate look into the nothing as his body felt paralyzed; he didn't fear death or what laid beyond the game of life. No, he feared never having or knowing Sesshomaru's affection. He would never admit it for being too proud; he was self-absorbed, obstinate, indecisive. Traits undesirable to the youkai. Nevertheless, Sesshomaru had learned to care for Inuyasha - he even began to love him. It had taken decades, far too many for either to admit or calculate. Now there he laid, alone, teetering on life's delicate thread. Sucking in his lungs, Inuyasha could barely breathe moreso now, fluffy ears nested against the snowtop field.

"Still I want again, to hold your hand. A moment more to understand. How much it means, these little things. To savor one more smile..."

Gusts of warm breath spilled from Inuyasha's dry mouth as he tried to call out for someone, anyone. No sound would submerge no matter the effort. Memories of the past trespassed into the self-pity sessions cascading through the hanyou mind; a wintery day, when the snow had fallen for the first time during the season, Inuyasha could recall his first December with Sesshomaru when they had begun their more intimate relationship together. Beads of snow flickered like diamonds beneath the sun's glow, the sky bright shades of blue and grey. It was a first that the hanyou could ever remember that time of year as being beautiful, enjoyable. A nippy wind galloped through their mane, allowing it to whip wildly around. The couple had built their first snowman together, Inuyasha finding it humorous to place the carrot and coles in a place other than the eyes and nose area. Sesshomaru laughed genuine and sincere that day - it was the earliest either could recall. Inuyasha would never forget the frolicking in the snow, nor his defeat in the snowball battle which ended with both sharing a kiss beneath a leafless tree. Canoodling by a fireplace at the day's end, Inuyasha had been nervous and anxious as to what the night held for them. Sesshomaru was gentle and compassionate as they touched, nothing going beyond pampering and snuggling. Even to this very day, the youkai would never admit to doing such things finding it to be some sort-of evidence to his weakness...which was Inuyasha. A twinge of pain scoured through Inuyasha's body as lumps of drool fused with blood pooled from the corner of his mouth which destroyed the memory of merriment they shared so long ago.

"But, in the silence nothing stirs. Not a rising breath to reassure. So I hang my head and hold you close, for this is only sleep..."

A wave of light flourished within the gloomy thickness, a shadow balancing astride Inuyasha's fallen body. Arms reached out, coddling the body close into it's own warmth; a voice beckoned to the fallen hanyou, though it was barely recognizable as his hearing began to giveaway. Hoisting lifeless golden eyes to meet amber ones, Sesshomaru had begun to scream at his brother as if to wake him from some dream placed upon him by a siren. The youkai's orbs blazed as he realized what was happening, his jaws clenching in fury. Sesshomaru screamed once more, louder than before and still the hanyou didn't stir. Disbelief washed over the elder demon as he craned from his current position with Inuyasha cradled within his arms like a child; losing his adored would ribbon away his soul.

"If morning comes and all is quiet, a lifetime dances in my mind. I have to think, I must believe, that this is only sleep..."

Pacing the hallway of the infirmary, Sesshomaru sucked in his lower lip to fight against an urge to lash out violently or sob in protest. Feeling inadequate as though Inuyasha's escaped were his fault, the youkai's soul began to feel semidecrepit, burdened, wasted. It sickened the demon to the point that he almost vomited; for Sesshomaru, that thin line between love and hate was almost bleeding together. There he stood in this plunkerish place with his brother's friends burning glares of hatred directed for him; Sesshomaru felt a scorching need to laugh at such nonsense, but for Inuyasha's sake, he put the malicious act on brief hold. The not-very-hopeful situation was becoming such an inconvenience for the youkai.

|| "How dare that hanyou waste my time over such foolishness."||

A nurse addressed Sesshomaru, offering charts and pamphlets for him to review, a grimace wiggled upon her lips. Brows slendered as amber orbs thinned with an annoyment as the youkai shoved by and beyond doors in which she emerged; though the youkai forced himself entry, the others weren't so lucky to pull such a victory. Sprawled and strapped onto a bed within a drab room, with only that bed and white walls, Inuyasha jerked at his restraints as he howled like some beast. Rolling his eyes, Sesshomaru fought the urge to free his beloved and take him away from such a place. Ambling to the bedside, the youkai ensnared his hand with that of Inuyasha entangling their fingers together; concern shrouded the typical emotionless visod, quieting the enraged hanyou. He loved Inuyasha, but enough was quite enough.

"Childish actions will not gain my support nor my love, Inuyasha. You are killing yourself and in the process destroying me."

"Damn you!"

"I've cared for you, yearned for you, needed you. I can't take your delinquency."

"Yeah cause you're so perfect, you damn bastard."

"Hm."

"What's your problem now?"

"I no longer love you, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha had begun to panic as those words replayed through his mind, unsure if he heard correctly. Being unmoved by the streaming of tears or the whimperings of protest, Sesshomaru viciously removed his clutch from his brother, pivoting to exit the room; he felt emotionally drained as the last ounce of love for the hanyou buried behind emotions of anguish and hatred. Inuyasha had been the beast of burden that enraged him yet offered him serenity that was so desperately craved. Sesshomaru wanted to mate with his brother, wanted to marry him, wanted a family with him. Those dreams burned to the ground. Saltwater clumped at the corners of amber eyes, a lone tear whirling across fushcia markings.

"May you learn the consequences of your actions, Inuyasha."