Let Me Alone

[Present]

Kagome blinked, tiny crystals of ice beginning to form on her eyelashes. The temperatures had apparently dropped and accumulated an arctic wind, causing her tears to freeze, not that she noticed. She didn’t seem to notice much of anything as of late. A tear formed and departed from the corner of her left eye and froze midway down her cheek. Her dull eyes stared off ahead of her into the depths of the forest that she had lost herself in, her body still lying on the cold ground. A breath left her in a cloud of white steam as she closed her eyes, remembering more of that day. The day her body seemed to break.

[Flashback]

Kikyo’s eyes flashed as she saw the two approaching women. ”How…how is she alive?” she muttered ‘neath her breath, so below a whisper that even Inuyasha could not hear. She brushed a strand of hair from her dark eyes. She smiled inwardly at having a living body again; she hated smelling like dirt and hated being a “clay pot” as others had called her once. She had just glared at them and turned, leaving them with their name-calling. She knew what she was, but she also knew that she would live again…and that time was now. Watching Kagome near, Kikyo reached to touch Inuyasha’s arm and leaned forward, brushing her lips against his. Inuyasha, still shocked at her being alive, parted his lips, kissing her back. He pulled her closer to his body, running a hand down her spine. Kikyo watched from the corner of her eye as Kagome lay eyes on the two of them and smirked inwardly.

Kagome had been walking ahead of Sango, a light bounce in her step, when she came to a halt. Sango, catching up with her best friend, laid a hand on Kagome’s shoulder as she too saw the event unfolding before them. She gave a small sigh and squeezed the shoulder before letting go. ”Are you okay ‘Gomes?” She didn’t want to ask for fear of the answer, but she knew she had to be there for her best friend. What had happened with the bright light and Sesshoumaru would have to wait. She tried to give a smile as the girl from the future turned to her.

”I’m okay Sango,” Kagome gave a brave smile to her friend as she started walking again. ”They are just happy to see each other. In this time, a kiss doesn’t mean anything…right?” she thought to herself as both girls came up to the group. She would not let something as small as a kiss get in her way of making sure Inuyasha knew how strongly she felt for him. He had to know, had to feel what she felt.

Sango nodded her head silently, praying that Kagome knew what was about to happen and hoping that she did not shatter completely. ”Kagome’s a strong girl, but if she breaks, I’m not sure she will ever be whole again,” she thought to herself as she glanced over to Miroku’s still form. He had been on the receiving end of a heavy club and was knocked unconscious. Of course she was worried about him, but he could wait. A head injury was nothing compared to a broken heart. She bit her lip as she knelt down beside Kilala, checking her for injuries but never truly taking her eyes from Kagome’s advancing figure towards Inuyasha. She gave an inward sigh. No matter what, she would be there for her…and then…the world seemed to tilt just a bit and the sky seemed to dim in its basking glory; the wind seemed to cease its calm breeze and the smile on Kagome’s face seemed to melt completely…all this, and all Sango could do was watch. She knew, at that heart-breaking moment, she was helpless and there was nothing anyone could do for Kagome.

Kagome neared the two still entwined together and, reaching a hand out, touched Inuyasha’s shoulder. He stiffened at the touch then, as if coming back to reality, distanced his body a bit from Kikyo. He turned to face her, a clumsy smile playing on his lips. His lips…they were shiny from saliva that had just been swapped. Kagome brushed the thought away and gave her best ‘I saw nothing’ smile in hopes of not seeming too awkward. The two stood there, staring at one another, for a few moments before she decided it was no or never and thus, broke the silence.

”The Shikon no Tama is complete, Inuyasha,” Kagome said, her voice sounding foreign to her ears.

”Yeah,” Inuyasha replied.

”Are you still wanting to become full demon?” Kagome knew the answer to the question the moment she realized Kikyo was alive.

”Nah, I think you should wish all the people that have died because of Naraku back to life. That way Shippou would have his parents back and all,” he said, glancing down at the small kit. Why did he say that? He was never nice to the brat. Maybe it was because it was what Kagome wanted to hear…? He looked back up, catching her stare.

”Oh, Inuyasha…that’s a wonderful idea,” she said, eyes filling with tears. Shippou just gasped, wide-eyed, then hugged Sango tightly, crying on her shoulder. Taking the now completed Shikon jewel in her hands, Kagome closed her eyes and made the silent wish. The jewel glowed bright pink and then pure white before sinking into her skin. She made a small gasp as she felt the strong, pulsing power of the jewel mix with her blood causing her finger tips to tingle. When she opened her eyes again, they flashed a brilliant hue of silver before settling back to their chocolate brown.

Sango seemed to watch in awe at the fusing of the jewel and its rightful owner, though Kikyo remained quiet, standing behind Inuyasha, watching from over his shoulder. She was fully aware that this event would take place and was not affected by it in the least.

Kagome faced Inuyasha once again and reached out, pulling him into a tight embrace. Kikyo’s eyes flashed with anger, but she her face remained impassive. Inuyasha placed his arms around Kagome’s shoulders, feeling a bit awkward but nonetheless happy that his best friend was happy. She could now return to her own time and continue life as it was planned out for her. When she pulled back, he looked down into her eyes and smiled.

”Inuyasha, could we talk please?” The question seemed pressed, but she needed to speak with him before she lost him forever.

”Uhh…yeah, sure…” Inuyasha answered, allowing himself to be pulled away from the group. They were nearing the edge of the Inuyasha Forest when Kagome stopped and turned to face him. The two stood in an uncomfortable silence before Kagome sighed and began.

”The past three years have been well…great. I have seem more death than I would have cared for, but that’s how life is,” she said weakly. Why was this so hard? It shouldn’t be this hard to express your undying love to someone. When Inuyasha opened his mouth to comment, she raised a hand.

”You are my best friend, Inuyasha,” at this he nodded his head, ”and I couldn’t have picked a better person than you to have shared these past few years with.” She spoke with more courage with each sentence.

”I know I have sat you more than you deserved and I am sorry. I was foolish and young, being immature as most young teenage girls are. I see now that you didn’t deserve all those times of being plunged into the ground just because I was having a bad day.” At this, she reached up behind his neck and, with a few murmured words, the rosary that was around his neck fell, beads rolling across the dirt. He raised his eyes and smiled in thanks, giving her a brief hug. He had never expected that to happen, but hell, who was he to complain?

”I guess what I’m trying to say is,” she stared down at her feet, twisting her fingers together before looking back up to him. She bit her lip and then made the leap.

”I love you Inuyasha. I have since the day I found you bound to the tree. I thought myself foolish at first, but as time wore on, so did my love. It changed from a crush to infatuation and then finally to what it is now…love. Pure and undying, I love you.” she ended with what she hoped to be a strong voice. Watching his reaction, she reached out and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him fully on the lips.

Inuyasha stood, stunned for a moment, before realizing what was occurring. This was not how it was supposed to play out. She was supposed to hug everyone, cry a little, and then return to her time. Sure he would miss her, but life goes on. Now, she was professing her love to him; a love that was not returned. His love lie with Kikyo, always had. He gripped her shoulders before pushing her gently away.

”Kagome,” he said with as much as a monotone voice as he could muster. This was going to tear her apart, he knew it, and cursed himself for allowing her to fall for him. But…this could not happen. She had to move on; he didn’t deserve her anyway. She deserved a life where she would find a man that would love her for her, not for seeing her as a copy. He blinked. Surprisingly, the reality of how he actually saw her almost stung. No, this would not work. He peered down at her.

”I…” he faultered. He ran his fingers through his tangled mane before trying again. He had to be blunt.

”I cannot return those feelings, Kagome. Yes, I love you, but not in a way that would ever escape friendship. My love lies with Kikyo as it always has. Now that she is alive, I believe I can finally be happy. Return to your own time, Kagome. Your family needs you there. You do not belong here, the same as we do not belong together. It is not in Kami’s desire for us to be.” He watched her face as a million emotions seemed to emerge all at once. Shock, confusion, resentment, pain, and finally settling on hurt. Funny that the tears were not flowing like they usually would be. He reached out to comfort her but she flinched away as if he were some hideous, filthy creature. A look of confusion came about his face; he didn’t understand. How could she not understand? He opened his mouth to speak when she bolted from him. Should he go after her? Better if he didn’t. She couldn’t sit him, but he had learned that if a female runs off crying, they want to be left alone. For this, he was somewhat grateful. He didn’t want to watch her cry and for something he had caused. For whatever reason though, today, her pain seemed not to affect him as much. He turned and walked back to where the group was waiting...where Kikyo was waiting.

Kagome ran blindly through the trees, branches scraping her roughly, causing red streaks to form on the bare parts of her arms and legs. She cared not that she left behind her backpack, that she left behind her friends, nor the life that she had been living for the past three years. She had to get away and going back to her time, at the moment, was not an option. She couldn’t face her family, not after being rejected so harshly. What would she say? There was nothing to say. The truth began to bleed over into her clouded mind as she continued to run, ignoring her legs’ protest at being overworked. He never saw her for Kagome; she was simply a reminder of Kikyo. A reincarnation. A copy. Only when she had lost herself completely in the woods did tears begin to sting her eyes. She refused to cry in front of him; show him how bad he truly destroyed her. . That would be letting him win. He had flat out told her plainly that he did not want her, did not—wait—could not care for her, and bluntly told her to go home. No, she would not let him have his way. She would not return home, not yet anyway.

She ran for what seemed like forever. Out of breath and both physically, as well as mentally, exhausted, she slowed to a jogging pace and then finally stopped, leaning all her weight against a tree. Panting, she sunk to the ground and let the tears continue to flow. It seemed as if they would never stop. Each time she thought she was done crying, a new wave would overtake her and she would start all over again. She looked up without raising her head and gave a weak sigh. She could not see the sky from where she was. That only meant one thing—she was very deep in the forest and very lost. Not that she cared. She blinked back tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes and slammed her fists into the dirt. She was angry, hurt, humiliated, depressed, insulted, and now hungry, cold, and tired. How could a body host that many emotions at one time? She hit her head on the tree, digging her fingernails into the dirt. She stayed like that, leaned against a tree with her eyes closed, until she noticed that the forest had grown quiet.

Opening her eyes, she realized that in her time of mourning, it had turned into night. She gave a lifeless sigh and, not bothering to sit up, glanced around at her surroundings. She ignored the pain in her stomach that was informing her of its emptiness as she stood. She needed to find higher ground if she could. Sleeping on the ground would only cause problems; animals were curious by nature and would quickly inspect something foreign to their territory were it lying on the ground unprotected. Speaking of protecting, she let out another sigh. While trying to further herself from the group, and Inuyasha, as quickly as possible, she had forgotten her bow. . She suppressed a sob at the thought of Inuyasha. Nope. She would cry later. Right now she had to find someone safe to sleep. She peered around, not being able to see much in the gloomy darkness so she decided to test the branches that hung low above her head. She was afraid of heights, but didn’t want to risk sleeping on the ground if she could help it.

Hoisting herself up onto a limb, she climbed until she felt that she was high enough away from immediate danger, but not too high. She then seated herself, stretching out on a wide, but sturdy, branch. She was at the junction of two branches so she could sit comfortably without having to worry about falling out of the tree. She again warded off the grumbling of her stomach; she would find food tomorrow. Right now, she didn’t want to move, think, feel, anything. She just wanted to sleep.


Kagome awoke the next morning before the sun had begun its climb into the sky with a screeching crow a branch above her head. That and she was freezing. She growled before opening her eyes and stretching a bit. ”The Kami’s have a twisted way of playing a sick joke,” she mumbled while climbing out of the tree. Almost at the last branch, her foot slipped and she tumbled, catching her skirt on a branch, causing it to rip exceedingly before she reached the ground, twisting her ankle. She lay flat on the cool earth, grinding her teeth together in both annoyance and pain. The Kami's truly hated her.

A/N: I know it has taken me forever to update, but between work and food poisoning [sucked major!], I've been trying my best. The next chapter is already underway and will hopefully not take as long as this one to be posted.