rate_review Reviews

Hello ! Being french, I sometimes see little mistakes in the fanfics, and can say I find you write very well. I only saw some mistakes in you text, and perhaps I was wrong, not knowing english as well as french ! Here they are, with my “correction” :

“You are not the reincarnation me” : my reincarnation
“If that’s what was meant for her” : that was
“Naraku's tenticles struck” : tentacles
“a dead body would reek of death but her’s did not” ! hers
“What the hell was he doing? Oh this makes no sense what so ever.” : made ?
“This is when she noticed the figure above her” : was ?
“Sango looked up see her best friend” : to see ?
“She was cute off by a tight embrace” : cut
“Kikyo’s eyes flashed with anger, but she her face remained impassive” : but her face
“I have seem more death” : seen
“Right now she had to find someone safe to sleep” : some place
“The Kami’s have a twisted way of playing a sick joke” : kamis
“The Kami's truly hated her.” : kamis

I would like to know where I’m wrong. About the story, I’m afraid you’ll put a very mean Sesshomaru in the following chapters. Do you plane a happy end ??? Ah ! a question : where is Kouga, why is the Shikon completed ? You wrote : “The Shikon jewel was almost complete, lacking only the shards resting in a certain wolf prince's leg; those would not be hard to obtain.” And then, next chapter, Kagome is able to wish…
Otherwise, I would like that you put the tittles in front of each chapter, please !
I wait with pleasure your next update. Thank you !

A french mother and reader,
Bonjour de la France !

Merely Truth

AHH your making me hate you I WANT MORE MORE MORE MORE *cries* lol

I am in LOVE with the story.

i love this story

I'm not going to comment on the story so far, though it doesn't look to shabby. Rather, I thought I'd let you know that I noticed several typos/spelling errors (which are really off-putting and seriously disrupt the flow of narration), and so you might wanna read over it again or get yourself a beta. The other thing I noticed was that you seem to have Kagome as some kind of Christian or something. I suppose that's possible, but it seems unlikely that a Shinto priestess who lives in a Shinto shrine in a country where only about 1-2% of the people are Christian, would expect some kind of Christian afterlife scenario. Most Japanese people are syncretic Buddhist/Shintoist. A few are strictly Buddhist or Shintoist. A small number are otherwise (atheists, Christians, Sikhs, Muslims, Hinduists, adherents to either "new religions" or "new new religions," or what have you). If you really want to spin some yarn about how Kagome is secretly Christian (and how her grandfather would disapprove), or about how she's always imagined there being some kind of afterlife other the the Pure Lands in the West or simple reincarnation, you could. But you'd need to do it, actually explain, in your story, why she's imagining golden gates.

Sorry for the ranting, but you've trod on one of my top five fanfiction pet peeves; Fangirl Japanese, Anachronism, Massive Spelling/Grammar Foibles, Lack of Plot and Lack of Multicultural Understanding.

Sorry for not reviewing your actual plotline/writing style. I'm only on the second chapter, and yours aren't very long, so I don't really have a good grasp yet. I'm also in the bad habit of only reviewing to offer concrit to those who sound like they can handle it or praise to amazingly gifted authors who totally wow me.

Oooooo, I hope you update this story soon; it's really good. I've never seen this method of bringing Kikyo back to life, and the story overall is quite original! Keep up the good work!

Overall it is a very good story and has left me curious as to what will happen next?
Could Inuyasha perhaps handled that situation with a bit more tact? Oh well.
Can't wait to find out what happens next, please update soon!

aw kagome

very nice, I like it muchly. I look forward to seeing the rest of it!

short but still had a point plaese update more soon