Strength

Surprise! Told you I was focusing on completing strength :D. I want to thank ll reviewers for the amazing support. I also want to thank efimera for her suggestion, though I am not taking it up it inspired some of the ideas here. I hope you can see it.

I need stuff to read! Please people update your fics! See my profile for my fav fanfics and whom I love reading :) links to their sites will be posted.

Beta'd version by the amazing Blizzard aka Snowfall in her super-beta state. Thanks so much. :)

Read, review and Enjoy

Chapter 40 : What a mess!

Three weeks more, if Inuyasha managed to carry full term, the pups would be born in three weeks. Only no one watching the Hanyou closely – which was most of the palace – believed that Inuyasha would be able to carry the pups to term. Inuyasha blustered and tried to behave normally, but his physical energy and strength had visibly deteriorated during the past week. He burned energy with frightening speed, getting exhausted after any kind of exertion.

And though Inuyasha wanted to, he could no longer mask his state as well as he used to. Any demon of a respectable level who came within sensing distance of the Hanyou could clearly see the dwindling Youki. Why the barriers suddenly failedwas up for debate, it could be argued that Inuyasha, after the day at the picnic, trusted in Sesshoumaru enough to allow himself to be openly vulnerable under his Alpha's care. Alternatively, the reason could have been that his Youki had dwindled so low that he no longer had the energy to maintain the subconscious barriers any longer. The more hopeful believed the former. Those who knew the hanyou, believed the latter. Or more precisely, a combination of the two reasons.

For the first time in their lives, the physical training with the Pups had ground to a halt. Yuusha and Shippo had engineered it, convincing the other pups while they had been left alone during the picnic. Instead of physical training, the pups spent that time with Inuyasha, learning about different herbs that he had used to stay alive as a child, telling them stories of the battles with Naraku, or simply sitting close together. They did play games, but the pups kept it under strict control, seeing that even the games increasingly tired their Papa.

Suijin and Kouga both arrived together when Inuyasha was having a story telling session with the pups. They both stood at a distance and observed the interaction between the Pups and their Papa.

"He has no reserves, no energy. None. His Youki... its.. its.." Kouga growled. He could not finish, a little stunned at how fast his friend had deteriorated.

Suijin nodded sadly, her eyes swimming with tears. In a way, she had caused this, and if her dearly loved Hanyou died, Suijin was not sure if she could live with his death on her soul. Then Inuyasha's face turned a little, and the goddess gasped. She was so afraid for the young one, but when she caught a glimpse of his face now, she could not regret her choices.

Kouga let out an exasperated breath. "This is fucking ridiculous. Inuyasha has zero reserves in Youki, so how the hell is he able to glow like that? Hell, he is not just glowing, he is shining, beaming, radiating. Look at him. With his Youki like that, no way he is not in pain, but no stranger would believe that. They'd swear he had never had a day of sadness or pain. He has no Youki, but he is radiating joy... he is fucking amazing." Kouga's words became a whisper as he finished, his eyes on the Hanyou. While everyone feared for Inuyasha's health, that the Hanyou was happy and contented was impossible to miss. Ever since the royal family had returned from their day together, the Hanyou had been glowing, radiating happiness, even as his energy levels evaporated.

He rapidly became exhausted; he needed to sit, to rest, to eat more and more. Despite that, the Hanyou's spirits were high. He laughed and joked, and this time the joy was clear, pure. Inuyasha did not have mood swings. His first pregnancy had not given him the luxury for such behavior. At that time, there had been no one around to notice, let alone care, and too much had been riding on his too thin shoulders. Now, he just did not have the energy for it. He had decided he would just be happy, and his happiness shone through. It warmed those who saw it, and at the same time broke their hearts. It was becoming more and more common to have individuals break down and cry after Inuyasha had left a room. He made them feel better in his presence, but no Youkai could miss Inuyasha's lack of Youki, and his courage and strength had them weeping, without being able to totally comprehend why.

The security around Inuyasha and the pups had been increased to a ridiculous level. To approach the Hanyou, without clear approval from at least three layers of assistants and guards, was almost an act of suicide. With Lord Sesshoumaru's open approval, the guards and assistants were zealous in ensuring none surprised or disturbed their young Lord in any way. The breaking of numerous bones of at least three different nobles who had tried to barge in on the Hanyou had been a clear signal that, to see Inuyasha, protocol had to be followed. It was now much easier to see Lord Sesshoumaru than it was to see Lord Inuyasha. Not that Inuyasha realized this; he did see a small handful of petitioners daily, enough to maintain a presence, but not enough to exhaust him.

In their zeal to protect Inuyasha, the guards had almost been foolish enough to try to stop Kouga from entering the family garden. Lucky for them, Jaken had noticed and quickly stopped the suicidal guards from interfering with the wolf prince. Jaken had little doubt that the hot-headed prince was under a lot of pressure and fear for his friend, and Kouga would have given the guards stupid enough to get in his way a painful-and probably permanent-lesson on why stressed wolves were among the most dangerous predators on the planet. The guards were pouting and suspicious as they watched closely, but kept to an appropriate distance, wisely choosing to avoid interfering with those that Inuyasha considered 'family'.

Suijin rested a gentle hand on the wolf's shoulder. "Look at him, Kouga. He has no regrets, he has sacrificed, he has and still suffers. But, all that he has been through has paid off. He has loved greatly, and he is finally loved in return. He has found his joy, and he is holding on with both hands, letting nothing distress him. He knows it can be taken from him, he knows terrible things have happened, and will continue to happen. Nevertheless, he has chosen to be happy in spite of it. He is a warrior through and through. He will face hardship on his terms, and he has chosen happiness."

Kouga watched for awhile, and found himself agreeing with the Goddess. He was afraid for his friend, but at the same time he was also a little envious of the joy radiating from the Hanyou. Maybe he needed to learn this.

"So we all choose, huh? We choose to be happy, in spite of the stuff in the world around us," Kouga questioned. His smile was suddenly toothy and distinctly wolfish."Well, what if I choose to start courting a Goddess, think I have a chance?"

Suijin's eyes widened and she stared at the wolf, a faint pink colored her cheeks. She did not answer. Instead, she glided towards Inuyasha and the pups, a tiny smile curving her lips.

Kouga caught the smile. He had only been semi-serious, expecting an immediate rejection, but what do you know... the lady had not said no, and for once there were no rivals in sight. Kouga was definitely interested, very interested indeed. She was a challenge of a different kind, and her power was seductive. This time, he would not rush. He would take things slow. With that decision made, his step was a bit lighter when he followed the Goddess to greet Inuyasha.

No one was surprised when Sesshoumaru appeared just before Suijin was within five feet from his mate. The DaiYoukai was not going to allow the Goddess to be with Inuyasha unsupervised. He trusted her as much as he could, but she was too powerful for him to risk it. The goddess also, unsurprisingly, totally ignored the DaiYoukai as she went to hug and cuddle, first Inuyasha, and then the pups. With Kouga there, the play got a bit more boisterous. It was not long before Inuyasha was clearly exhausted, and the pups went off with their tutors and the adults went into the suite. As soon as the doors closed, Inuyasha was picked up by Sesshoumaru, who walked to the Alpaca lined sofa chair and tucked a mildly protesting Inuyasha into a semi-reclining position.

Suijin herself brought some food, and when Inuyasha tried to ignore it and start a conversation, they all did a rather good Sesshoumaru imitation and silently stared the Hanyou down. Outnumbered, Inuyasha glared at them, but picked up the spoon and ate the thick rick stew that had been prepared just for him. While Inuyasha was eating, Ryouku-sensei, Hana, and Jaken slipped into the room. They all got comfortable, and only when Inuyasha had eaten and was settled comfortably, did they turn to the Water Goddess for an update.

She sat on the free side of Inuyasha, held on to his hand, and was ready to update them on her visit to the Elder Gods. However, Inuyasha interrupted her.

"You can begin by telling me if the God's were agreeable to my hard-headed mate's asinine request," the hanyou said, his voice slightly snide. Both Sesshoumaru and Suijin stared at him, and then at each other.

Sesshoumaru was the first to speak, "Inuyasha, this Sesshoumaru has no idea what you are referring to."

"Can it, Sesshou. You don't lie, remember? So you are really bad at it. And no one told me, but it was pretty obvious,wasn't it?" Inuyasha quickly turned to the goddess and continued. "He asked you to check if the Gods could switch his place for mine, didn't he? If they could transfer my debt to him, so he could pay the blood price instead of me. And you were only too happy to make the request, weren't you, Suijin?" Inuyasha's voice was accusing.

Suijin shrugged in response. She had been more than happy to make the request and she was not going to pretend otherwise. "Yes, I asked," she said simply and turned to Sesshoumaru. The disappointment in her face said it all, "Unfortunately, as with any bearer, it is impossible for the other father, or anyone else, to take on the load. In Inuyasha's case, more so. It is only he, or one of the first litter of his pups, who can carry this burden." Suijin winced as the Hanyou's growl spoke clearly of the consequences should any dare mention his pups carrying the burden of his choices. While Sesshoumaru would save Inuyasha first, even he could not place a pup of theirs in harms way in order to save the adults. It would be an act of utter cowardice to make a child pay for an adult's action, and even after Suijin mentioned it, Sesshoumaru did not give the notion a second's consideration.

Inuyasha, sensing Sesshoumaru's resolve, relaxed a little. "Its okay, Sesshou, I appreciate the thought, but I could not have let you do it anyway, so I'm glad its impossible," Inuyasha said softly.0

"Then, of what use are the Gods?" Sesshoumaruhissed, coldly glaring at Suijin. The others looked at her as well, waiting for an answer.

Suijin sighed and clutched Inuyasha's hand harder. "The Elder God's did not need me to explain much. They are very impressed with you, Inuyasha. They have been watching you closely ever since you made that promise on the Isle of mists, and they are very impressed, very impressed with you indeed."

"Impressing the gods can be a curse more than a blessing,"Ryouko-sensei murmured softly, covering the steely contempt in her voice as her narrowed eyes stared intently at the Goddess.

Kouga was equally uneasy, but he held back as he was sure Suijin would ensure the Gods did not hurt Inuyasha.

Suijin nodded, unknowingly affirming Kouga's faith in her. "Do not worry, the Elder Gods mean Inuyasha no harm." She paused and continued, "In a way, I suppose they have offered a last resort alternative. If you are too close to death during the birthing, the Elder Gods plan to step in. They cannot save you body, but the can save your soul. They want to make you a Hero, Inuyasha. Your spirit will be a star, shining in the heavens, and you can guard your family from the stars."

Numerous jaws across the room dropped at the a rare honor.

"Keh!" Inuyasha said with irritation, "What kindda deal is that? Who wants to be a star? Tell them to forget it. I'd rather be reborn and come back to irritate my family – not watch them from the stars. The Elder Gods are damned stupid if they think I want to spend eternity, hanging around them," Inuyasha said grumpily. Stupid Gods. He knew they would be useless. After his outburst, Inuyasha yawned. He needed a nap.

Kouga laughed a little hollowly. "Ya, they sound pretty dumb. Come, on Inuyasha, you better hit the hay."

Inuyasha grumbled throughout, but did not fight when Sesshoumaru silently picked him up, carried him to their bed room, and tucked him in. Sesshoumaru understood Inuyasha's condition, needing no one to confirm his thoughts, so he chose to stay in bed with Inuyasha. He held Inuyasha close and just enjoyed the sound of his Mate's breathing.

"Inuyasha does not realize it does he?" Kouga asked quietly.

Ryouku-sensei shook her head, "No, he has had even less dealing with gods than with Demons in his life." She rubbed her temple and shook her head, "What a royal mess. He does not seem to realise that one does not tell elder gods anything. If they want him as a star..."

"He will become a star," Suijin finished softly, "But that is not too bad a thing, is it? He would be able to guide the Pup's in their dreams, watch over them, and on special occasions, even appear before them. It is better, isn't it? Better than just disappearing from our lives?" Suijin's voice betrayed her own fear and confusion.

No one answered her, and Kouga reached out and placed an arm around her shoulders, a gesture of comfort. They stood silent for awhile, lost in their own contemplations.

-tbc-

any body care to guess where this is heading? How's the angst meter in this, mine reads low – but it may be broken again... Too tired to add anything except THANK YOU and please review...