Out of Control

Sesshomaru brought Rin home, bathed her and set her to rest in her room in his castle. He sought out complete silence, dismissing everything that needed to be done until he had Rin nice and comfortable. He watched her as she slept, sadness and appreciation adorning his face. She called out to him as though he were still a saint in her eyes, yet he was torn because of the pain he had caused her. Would she still smile for him and bring him flowers? Would she be afraid? Sesshomaru was confused on how to respond to her when she woke. She seemed to be in such a deep sleep, her chest slowly rising and falling with every breath, that for a moment, she seemed at peace. Her face was not strained, and he slowly caressed her face, his hand drifting down her neck, stopping at the wound that he left.
Pain consumed him, for he knew he stole from her. She never took more than he gave, and she gave more than he ever tried to give her. He knew he stole her life from her, for no human would take a female that had already laid with a male, even worse that he was a demon. She was permanently marked, damned to all of society. Worst of all, he stole her innocence, and he didn’t even know how to explain it to her.
He was so consumed in his thoughts, trying to discover a solution. What should he say?
‘Rin, this Sesshomaru raped you’ was not the best explanation he had to offer. He gazed upon her face once more, hoping that when she woke, that he could be the one to give her so much peace.
Sesshomaru knelt by her bedside, nuzzling her cheek softly. He mumbled soothing words in her ear as he calmly walked out of her room and closed the door behind him.
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Rin awoke to Sesshomaru’s words, and softly touched her cheek as he closed the door.

‘Please don’t hide from this Sesshomaru…’ were the words he left her with.

She was confused, not knowing what to say to him should he return to her room. Praying it was all a dream, she slowly sat up until pain scorched her lower body. Her body was still raw, and she suffered from a massive headache. She knew there was no point in trying to stand, it required too much effort and energy, and she had none to spare. She slowly moved her covers to expose the bandages around her waist and crotch, noting the slightly dried blood. As she examined herself, images of Sesshomaru ran through her mind.
She remembered those red eyes, the pain he inflicted when he bit her. Fear hit her like a tidal wave, her breathing shallow and rapid. She looked around the room, realizing it was hers, which meant she was in Sesshomaru’s castle. Panic hit her fast and hard, afraid he would punish her again, and trap her in his domain. Her heart was in her throat, and she knew she was a sitting duck and could do nothing. Tears poured down her face as she tried to move, clenching her jaws as the pain of her injuries reminded her she could go no where.
At that moment her heart broke, for now he could do anything he wished whether good or not, and she couldn’t even try to run away. She had nothing to go to, he was the only sanctuary she’d ever known. Even if she could escape, she would still die on her own. His words were tender, but the pain was a constant reminder of what he was capable of doing to her again. All she could do was wait and pray he’d have mercy.
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