Passion

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.


A/N: I can reassure you, Sesshomaru has his reasons for acting the way he does. I'm just not going to tell you! *grins evilly* No, you will find out together with Kagome. Okay, I'll give you a small hint: What is his ulterior goal in life? (He says so the first time he shows up in the anime); have a closer look at his thoughts whenever I let you get a glimpse of them; and this is all I'll tell you!

Have fun reading!!

Chapter IV – Past and Presence


Inu Yasha sat at the well, his arms resting on the wooden rim, staring into its depths. The very depths Kagome had disappeared in just yesterday. Ever since she had gone he had been sitting there, staring into the well and waiting for her to return, though she had not said a word about when she would come back. But he would sit right here until she returned, and when she did she was to answer some questions.

He remembered Kagome’s sudden resolve to go home. It had been the day after he had burst in on her at the pond. When they had prepared to lie down to sleep she had suddenly announced that she wanted to go home.

She had caught them all by surprise and they had asked her why she wanted to go back and what for. She had refused to say anything more about this, just repeating she wanted to go home. Inu Yasha wondered whether she was angry with him for disturbing her bath. Yet, she did not seem to be angry with anyone.

Instead, she was silent and strangely subdued. What was wrong with her? She was surely not her usual sunny self. Had the journey through the mountains exhausted her? Was she ill?

No matter how much he had asked and pressed her to tell, she had not said a word more on this matter. They had given in to her and made their way back to Kaede’s village and the well.

It took them several days to go back, and while he had been worried at first, after the second day Inu Yasha had grown irritated. They had made all the long way into the mountains for nothing! They had exhausted themselves in their hunt for Naraku, yet for a sudden whim of Kagome’s they cancelled it and went back. It had infuriated him.

He had not been nice to Kagome, Inu Yasha admitted ruefully. He had yelled at her and called her names. She had been sad about his behaviour, he could tell from her facial expressions and silent sighs. Yet, she had said nothing on the matter. She had even sat him only rarely.

Inu Yasha frowned. Maybe she was really ill, after all? She had not been herself since the day Sesshomaru had saved her from being killed. What had happened back then? Inu Yasha shook his head to get this thought out of it. He had thought about it so many times before and never had he found an answer to it. All results he ever got were another headache, so he would just stop thinking about it.

If this had been as easily achieved as decided! The question kept coming back and with it the image of his brother. Damn that guy, it was all his fault! Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes and glared annoyed at the dark bottom of the well. It was all entirely Sesshomaru’s fault! That guy really pissed him off now!

First, the bastard had saved Kagome from the demons for some mysterious reason of his own and that had somehow changed her. Second, after she had recovered from that incident, he had been following them for a whole day, seemingly without any reason at all. He had only let them know he was there, had neither attacked them nor reacted to the challenges. And third, he had just vanished.

Inu Yasha drummed his fingers on the well’s wooden rim and remembered that evening some days ago. After Kagome had left for the pond to have a bath, he had once again checked the area for any dangers or demonic presences. He had felt the presence of his brother and it had irritated him, just as it had been irritating him the whole day. He had not even been able to tell from which direction exactly he felt the presence of his brother. All he had known was that Sesshomaru had been somewhere out there, and just when he had tried to locate it – it had vanished.

This had taken the hanyou completely by surprise. He had stood on a branch, rooted to the spot and had strained his senses to find Sesshomaru’s aura. But he had found nothing. From one second to the other: gone.

He had chuckled, pleased with the thought that his elder brother had obviously had no chance to take out his plan. For then it had been finally clear to Inu Yasha that Sesshomaru must have had a plan that had made it necessary for him to follow them. But this plan had failed and thus he had left.

Now that his last worry had gone gone, Inu Yasha had returned to his friends at the campfire and had sat down, watching lazily the progress of freeing Miroku from the thorns. It had been quite amusing to watch, for every now and then a hand would go astray and an annoyed demon huntress would slap the owner of that hand. Inu Yasha and Shippo had been laughing and mocking during the slow process. It had taken a while to free the monk from all of the small pests, and only when Sango had asked about Kagome Inu Yasha had realised how long the girl had been gone.

He had left camp and hurried towards the pond, worried that something might have happened to her. It had been twilight outside the ravine, but pitch blackness inside, so it had been difficult to see. But he had found Kagome. She had been unhurt, and when he had arrived at the place she had been standing waist-deep in the water, obviously still occupied with her bath. He had been relieved to see her well. Yet, before he had actually seen her, Inu Yasha had smelled her, smelled that she had been all right.

Yes, he had smelled her … and for a moment he could have sworn that he had smelled his brother, too. A suspicion had crossed his mind and he had called out to her. Then she had sat him and with a nose full of dirt he had not again caught the faint hint.

It had been a stupid suspicion, Inu Yasha had told himself afterwards. Foolish to think his brother had been there! He would have felt the bastard, wouldn’t he? Inu Yasha refused to believe his brother so powerful that he was able to hide his presence as well as his scent completely. No, not even Sesshomaru had that much power. Furthermore, Kagome had promised before, that she would scream when someone approached her. He had not heard anything like a scream and Kagome would surely have screamed if his brother had appeared and approached her, wouldn’t she?

He had quickly smashed the objection that Kagome had only said she would scream when somebody touched her without her consent . To think that Sesshomaru had had her consent to touch her … impossible!

No, he had not smelled his brother at that pond, there was absolutely no way that Sesshomaru had been there! It had been an imagination … Inu Yasha huffed. Maybe he really was paranoid where his brother was concerned. It made him think strange things and smell this bastard everywhere. Hell, he even smelled him now!

Inu Yasha growled at his stupidity. He took a deep breath to clear his nose – and within the blink of an eye he was standing, Tessaiga drawn, waiting for the attack. He growled once more. It had not been an imagination this time. Just a few steps away from him stood his brother.

Like a white statue, motionless up to the slight movement of his silver strands in the soft breeze, Sesshomaru stood at the edge of the forest. Inu Yasha was highly irritated by his regal countenance and calmness. It always ticked him off. This guy was just too perfect, too pretty, too haughty and too damn strong. He was, in fact, everything the hanyou wished to be.

Golden eyes in an unreadable face were steadily gazing at him, and Inu Yasha expected a cutting remark about his attention or the lack of it. But after a while the piercing eyes left him and trailed to the well. Slowly, leisurely, with graceful movements the demon lord stepped over to the wooden construction.

With every step his brother took Inu Yasha gripped the hilt of his sword tighter, expecting to be attacked at every second. Yet Sesshomaru did not seem to heed him at all. He stopped when he reached the well, standing now directly opposite to his younger half-brother, and gazed into the shadowed depths.

Inu Yasha’s eyes narrowed. He felt more than uneasy, and with a slight growl he asked, ‘What the hell are you doin’ here, eh?’ When Sesshomaru did not respond he added a snorted, ‘Bastard.’

Now he would react, Inu Yasha was sure. The little bugger was nobody to let an insult pass. His grip on Tessaiga tightened further and he felt the adrenaline surge through his veins in anticipation of the coming fight. Inu Yasha grinned dangerously.

Sesshomaru did not even lift his gaze from the well, nor did he answer. Inu Yasha frowned. The silence and odd behaviour of his brother ticked him off. He growled, and when the bastard still did not react, Inu Yasha lunged forward. With an angry scream he brandished Tessaiga, trying to slice the demon.

Yet his blade met no resistance and, losing balance, Inu Yasha crashed painfully into the hard ground. Growling he lifted himself up and turned around to look at Sesshomaru. What he saw was only more fuel to the hanyou’s wrath.

His damned brother had just taken a step aside and was still peering into the well, not even one hair out of place! Inu Yasha was preparing for another attack when Sesshomaru finally spoke.

‘So this is the place where she vanishes.’ His even voice was soft and thoughtful. Sesshomaru was apparently thinking aloud.

Inu Yasha growled once again, louder than before. ‘That’s not your business. Sod off!’

Sesshomaru tilted his head slightly. ‘How very odd.’

With another deafening scream Inu Yasha leapt forwards, the claws on his left hand flexed, Tessaiga forgotten in his right hand. That bastard dared to ignore him! He would show him that it was not wise to do that, not even for the almighty Sesshomaru.

His claw met nothing but thin air and again he made unpleasant contact with the ground. Inu Yasha suppressed a groan. Damn, that hurt! Damn that guy!

He looked up to his brother who watched him from the corner of his eyes. Hah, finally caught his attention!

The hanyou got up, using Tessaiga as support. ‘Hey, bastard! What d’you want?’

Sesshomaru did not answer, merely held his half-brothers furious gaze.

‘He, you fuckin’ answer me! What are you here for?!’

Sesshomaru’s golden gaze turned back to the well. Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes, and then a realisation hit him.

‘You spied upon us, didn’t you? That’s why you followed us!’

The demon cast him a bored glance. ‘This Sesshomaru is not interested in you or your companions, Inu Yasha.’ He looked at the well once more. ‘Not in all of them, that is.’

Inu Yasha blinked. ‘Huh?’ When his brother continued staring at the well it dawned upon him.

‘Kagome,’ he breathed. His eyes wide, he stared unbelievingly at Sesshomaru, who watched him again from the corner of his eyes.

‘Kagome,’ he repeated, louder this time. His first surprise faded and he got angry again. ‘Damn you, what do you want from her? Why are you all so suddenly interested in her, eh?’

The demon lord raised an eyebrow. ‘She is an interesting woman.’

Inu Yasha growled furiously. He did not like the slight emphasis on the last word, nor did he like the faint hint of amusement in the level voice. But what he did like the least was the imagination of his bastard brother interested in his Kagome. He had to end this.

‘She’s a human, that’s it. Nothing interesting in her at all.’ He stared defiantly at Sesshomaru who had now raised both eyebrows, an expression of high astonishment.

‘Really, Inu Yasha, are you trying to discourage this Sesshomaru? Or are you too blind to see?’ Watching the furious face of the younger one he smirked slightly. ‘Let this Sesshomaru enlighten you, brother dear, about the interesting oddities of the woman called Kagome.’

He easily dodged another rash attack of the hanyou and, holding up one long finger, he explained, ‘A human female in strange, indecent clothes who has great powers,’ a second finger joined the first, ‘the one who drew out Tessaiga,’ a third finger came up, ‘who is, in spite of her intelligence, still loyal at your side,’ he raised the fourth finger and with an elegant sidestep evaded another blow, ‘and who disappears suddenly into nothingness without leaving a trace.’

He grabbed the forwards-rushing hanyou on his wrist and threw him over his head, sending the boy crashing to the ground once more. Sesshomaru watched indifferently as his brother scrambled into sitting position and tried to get his breath back.

Inu Yasha raised his head. ‘Damn you, bastard,’ he panted.

Sesshomaru regarded him silently for a moment, then held up the fifth finger. ‘Today this Sesshomaru has found out that the woman does not disappear into nothingness but into an old well.’ He smirked again. ‘Even you have to admit, brother dear, that she is highly interesting.’

The demon held his brother’s heated gaze for another moment, then turned his eyes back to the well, letting his hand fall down. ‘An enigma,’ he added, barely audible.

‘Keh,’ snorted Inu Yasha and stood up, dusting off his clothes. ‘I’m not gonna tell what this means. It’s not your business.’

He grinned triumphantly at his brother and met another bored glance. ‘It is not necessary to explain the mystery. This Sesshomaru knows that the well is a gate to the place the woman called Kagome lives.’

Inu Yasha’s jaw dropped. Hell, how did he know? He must have been here yesterday, too … he saw Kagome go through the well … I didn’t sense him … FUCK!

Sesshomaru had watched his half-brother’s face closely and nodded slightly. ‘The well is a gate to her home, wherever this is,’ as he went on, his golden eyes became even more piercing and attentive, ‘whether it is another province or another country, the past or the future, or even another dimension.’

A satisfied smile crossed his expressionless face. He had noticed the slight flinch Inu Yasha gave. ‘So the future it is.’

Inu Yasha clenched his fists, growling through bared teeth. He was now really, really angry – and afraid. Sesshomaru seemed to have taken a real interest in his Kagome. What did this mean to her and to him? How could he protect her? And why was the damned bastard suddenly interested in her?

‘You fuckin’ bastard,’ he ground his teeth. ‘Why are you all so suddenly interested in her?’

Sesshomaru sighed. ‘Did this Sesshomaru not tell you just now?’

Inu Yasha pointed an accusing finger at his brother. ‘You knew all of this before, bastard! And tried to kill her!’ He was trembling with barely suppressed fury, his voice became louder with every word he yelled at his brother. ‘And now you’ve just changed your mind? Don’t kid me, asshole, I’m not stupid! I want to know why!! Why did you save her? Why did you follow her? You’re planning something!’

Sesshomaru did not even blink and Inu Yasha raised Tessaiga in preparation of the wind-scar. ‘You fuckin’ LEAVE HER ALONE!’ he screamed, brandishing his sword.

The fiery bright light of Tessaiga’s unleashed power filled the area. The air was crackling with energy and the blade’s song reverberated in Inu Yasha’s ears. When the light died down it revealed the trace of a fire through the clearing and the forest, missing the well by inches. Inu Yasha gasped. He had nearly destroyed the well! And all for nothing, because, still standing on the same spot, was his brother, calm and unmoved, but with a slight smirk on his face.

‘My, my, Inu Yasha,’ Sesshomaru teased, ‘aren’t you a bit overprotective?’

Inu Yasha clutched onto Tessaiga’s hilt. He was shaking with the impact of what he had almost done and the still burning fury. His breath was uneven, his face pale with tiny sweat-drops on his forehead. He wiped them away.

‘Leave her. Leave her alone. You’ve already done enough.’ Through his pants, Inu Yasha’s voice was serious and stern.

Something flashed in Sesshomaru’s eyes. ‘Did I.’

The hanyou was still panting and trying to get his emotions under control. He stood half bent, one hand resting in his knee, using Tessaiga to hold him up. At his brother’s remark he lifted his head. His breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened. He stared intently into
Sesshomaru’s face, searching for an answer, but found nothing in the expressionless mask. Only those golden eyes betrayed some kind of emotion.

Inu Yasha’s heartbeat stilled. All of his earlier suspicions came back, along with a wave of seething rage. He dropped Tessaiga, fisting both hands. ‘You …’ he growled menacingly.

Sesshomaru watched his half-brother attentively.

Inu Yasha’s eyes bled red. ‘You bastard …’ He raised his fists, shaking uncontrollably with fury. ‘YOU FUCKIN’ FUCKED HER!’

His rival looked down on him. ‘Inu Yasha, please, do try to be not so very vulgar.’

‘You. Fuckin’. Fucked. Her. Didn’t. You.’ Inu Yasha managed to press through gritted teeth.

‘And what if this Sesshomaru ‘fucked her’, as you like to put it?’ The demon lord tilted his head slightly. ‘What would you do, brother dear?’

Inu Yasha blinked. He did not deny it, did he? Did he??? So he really had …

‘NOO!’ screamed Inu Yasha, turning around and smashing his right fist against a tree, sending it crashing down. He swirled back to face his brother. ‘You DID NOT! She’s a HUMAN! You would not stoop so low, arrogant bastard, as to fuck a human! And she would not have LET you!! She would not have let you TOUCH HER!!’

Sesshomaru grinned. ‘Then why this excitement, brother dear, if you know it is all for nothing?’

This was the last straw. Inu Yasha exploded. Blind with burning ire, he jumped at his brother, flexing his claws, trying to tear him apart. Sesshomaru easily dodged his attack, and Inu Yasha cut down another tree by crashing into it. Without thinking he leapt forwards once more, again and again, but he did not even do so much damage as to scratch his brother. He didn’t even touch him, for Sesshomaru was moving with his demon speed.

Somewhere in his mind, a place still free from the clouds of rage, Inu Yasha knew he could not touch his brother. Not now, that he was out of control; not now when Kagome was not near to help him with her presence alone. Kagome …

His claws scratched over Sesshomaru’s armour, making both brothers wince as the high-pitched sound hurt their sensitive ears. Sesshomaru hissed and quickly stepped away from Inu Yasha, who was once more grinning dangerously.

I can hurt him, he rejoiced. Even without Kagome around. Now I’ll get him … He lunged forwards.

A brief flash of white was his only warning before he was dealt a heavy blow that sent him flying. He crashed into a small hill at the clearing’s edge. The impact knocked the breath out of his lungs and his sight went black.

Inu Yasha lay there for some seconds, too stunned to move. Then he drew in a deep, shaky breath and sat up, running his fingers over his skull to check whether it was still in one piece. Finding it all right, he opened his eyes and blinked the black and white spots away which were dancing in front of them. When he had regained some breath and his sight, Inu Yasha looked out for Sesshomaru, surprised that the demon was not already hovering above him, flexing his poison claws.

He found his brother standing on the rim of the well, once more peering down. As if he had felt Inu Yasha’s eyes on him, Sesshomaru turned around. Two pairs of golden eyes stared at each other, one still dazed, the other alight with a silent laughter … and something more, some emotion Inu Yasha rejected to name.

Dazed eyes widened. Is he going to try to go through the well? Inu Yasha asked himself anxiously and his eyes widened further when Sesshomaru grinned. As if he could hear my thoughts … No, impossible!

Finally, without another word, the demon lord turned around, stepped gracefully down from the well’s rim and walked away, disappearing into the green shades of the forest. Inu Yasha followed him with his nose, and when he was no longer able to smell or sense Sesshomaru, he sighed. His shoulders dropped and he hung his head. He felt beaten.

Slowly he got to his feet and went to the place where he had previously dropped Tessaiga. He took the battered blade up, staring at it for a while. He has not even tried to take it … Inu Yasha sighed once more, sheathing the sword. Then he returned to the well.

He sat down, rested his arms on the wooden rim and stared into the depths. He did not know what to think right now. What was the real reason that had brought Sesshomaru here? And what happened between him and Kagome? He had said neither yes nor no when asked … and in the end he had indirectly said the Inu Yasha’s suspicions were wrong. He had meant that, hadn’t he?

Inu Yasha groaned. His head fell forward and came to rest on the hard wood. What was he to think of all that? What would Kagome think about it?

He moved his head a bit so that he could peer down into the well once again. What is she doing right now?


* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


With a contented sigh Kagome leaned back into the tub and closed her eyes. The hot water relaxed her muscles and somehow soothed her fluttering nerves. It felt like a soft touch on her skin, an almost sensual feeling. She sighed again, feeling slightly dazed. Hmmm … sensual …

She lifted her hands from where they rested on the rim of the bathtub and laid them gently on her breasts. Instantly, the tips budded against her palms. She cupped the mounds in her small hands and remembered another hand doing the same. Her heartbeat quickened, a silent moan escaped her lips. She gently massaged the tender flesh, which caused a tingling feeling between her legs.

She trailed her hands down, over her ribs and flat stomach, her softly curved hips and down her thighs. The tingling became stronger with each inch. Kagome let her hands glide inwards and then up again, until her fingers reached the hidden centre of recently discovered pleasures. The tingling feeling changed into a flood of warmth; it flowed through her body and finally pooled deep down inside of her.

Kagome applied a little pressure and, moving her fingers ever so slightly, the warmth turned into heat. Her hips rocked against her fingers. The surface of the water rippled, small waves developed. They ran over her body, caressing the hard buds of her breasts, and Kagome moaned with pleasure.

The sound echoed in the tiled bathroom. Kagome started violently and snatched her hands away. Her eyes were wide with shock and she sat up, pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly. Her heart was still beating madly and lust pulsated in her blood with every beat of her heart. She pressed her forehead against her knees. O gods …

This was all so very wrong. She should not react so strong, to her own touch no less! She had never before reacted like that, or had ever before even thought of touching herself in this way.

Her body was fully awake, she realised. She was no longer an innocent girl but a woman. A woman who knew the pleasure of two bodies combining in a passionate encounter. She shivered. It was all so very embarrassing! To react this way … Kagome shivered again and lay back into the warm water. It was certainly wrong. She should not react to her own touch. But then, she shouldn’t react to Sesshomaru’s touch the way she did …

Her not yet calmed feelings flared up again. The mere memory of him, of their last encounter sent waves after waves of lust and need through her body. She trembled, her breath became erratic. Behind her closed eyelids she saw him, kneeling behind her, his red eyes searing as he undressed. She saw his beautiful body, now rid of all garments, felt his strong hand on her hip as he held her steady and …

… she realised the position she was in: Her eyes were closed, her head tilted back, her hands cupped her breasts once more. Her legs had opened and her hips risen - to welcome the deep thrust of her lover.

Kagome groaned and fell back, causing more waves. She felt like a wanton bitch, oversexed and dirty. A tear trickled over her cheek and she sobbed desperately. She felt so guilty!

Guilty that the thought of Sesshomaru was enough to arouse her like that. Guilty that she had enjoyed his touch so very much. Guilty for she was betraying Inu Yasha every time she thought of his brother and, more so, had already betrayed him in the worst possible way. She choked with unshed tears and pressed her small fists against her eyes.

Was she nymphomaniac? Her frighteningly strong reaction to Sesshomaru’s touch, to the mere thought of him, her body’s restiveness: they all seemed to indicate that she was, indeed, nymphomaniac. Yet, she had never before felt and reacted like this! Never before Sesshomaru had touched her for the first time and woken up her slumbering body. He had shown her what it was like to lust after somebody, how it was like to yearn for a lover’s touch. And she had learned it well, oh, too well! She yearned for him even now!

Kagome shuddered with fear and embarrassment. Now that he had done that to her, had turned her former innocent self into a voluptuous woman, what was she to do? Her constant willingness scared her. Was she turning into a female Miroku?

The though elicited a desperate little laughter. Oh, she could already see it, throwing herself at every male around, begging them to … Kagome pressed her fists tighter against her eyes and in the black void behind her closed lids green and yellow spots began to form. I’m worse than Miroku! He only gropes women, I would demand more. She felt really bad now, disgusted at herself and deeply ashamed. She could no longer hold back her tears and started crying silently. O gods, help me! What have I done to deserve this? What crime did I commit to be punished so severely? Lusting after every man that comes close to me … Fate must truly hate me.

She wept miserably for a while, before she noticed the one thought that had tried to gain her attention. Her tears stopped immediately. I’m not lusting after every man that comes near me, am I? Kagome frowned. No, she wasn’t. She could definitely tell, for only this morning she had met Hojo and nothing had happened …

* ~ *

Kagome was sweeping the stairs that led to the shrine. Usually her grandpa would do this, but this morning she had asked him to let her do it. Since she came back yesterday afternoon she had been restless and her mind used to wander to a certain, beautiful demon lord. She would not allow herself to think of him! She had to be busy somehow. Last night she had tried doing her homework, but that did not work out. After she had sat brooding over her English grammar for hours without taking in any of it, she had this morning decided it was useless to try again.

It was Saturday, so she did not have to go to school. Her mother had offered her to let her help with the household, but Kagome had thanked her and refused. She had already broken the breakfast dishes because she was dreaming. She did not want to break more or do some other irreparable damage to the house and its inhabitants.

Therefore she was now sweeping the shrine’s staircase. A damnable work, she had found out, for while it would keep her busy a long while – there were many steps – it left her mind to do whatever it liked. Right now, it was pleased with recalling a variety of incidents she would rather have forgotten. She was just cursing silently her wretched voice of Instinct when a voice that called out to her interrupted this monologue.

‘Higurashi!’ A male voice: young, out of breath and excited. She turned round to see Hojo, who was happily jumping up the stairs towards her. He smiled at her and she saw he was carrying a nicely wrapped little package. Oh, no, not again …

When he reached her, a huge smile plastered on his handsome face, she greeted him politely, smiling a bit wearily back at him. ‘Good morning, Hojo.’

‘Good morning, Higurashi! Well, it is good to see you out of bed again.’ He took a closer look at the pale face in front of him and his smile faded. ‘Are you sure it’s all right for you to be out of bed? You don’t look very well, you know.’

Kagome’s smile became even more wearily. My, what a compliment … What kind of disease was I suffering? Grandpa, if you invented something embarrassing, I’ll … I’ll … ‘I’m fine, Hojo, thanks. Just a bit tired.’

He stared at her worriedly. ‘Oh, then it would probably be better if you lie down again and rest. You’re always taking your diseases lightly, Higurashi, but that’s dangerous. After all, pneumonia of both lobes of the lung shouldn’t be treated lightly.’

Pneumonia? Hey, grandpa, that’s almost something ordinary!

‘It’s okay, Hojo. I’m really fine, just tired. I didn’t sleep well during the few last nights but I can’t stay in bed any longer. It makes me sick,’ she tried to joke, but seeing his eyes widen she knew she didn’t succeed.

‘You didn’t sleep well?’ Hojo’s voice sounded deeply concerned. ‘You won’t come down with sleeping sickness?!’

Kagome leaned heavily on her broom and sighed exasperated. ‘No, Hojo, I surely won’t.’

His concern was not to be brushed aside so easily. He laid a hand on her shoulder and the other under her elbow to support her, dropping his present in doing so, and would have led her back to bed personally if she had not protested vigorously. Finally he released her, but begged her to see a doctor.

‘With all your diseases, Higurashi, you ought to have a close look at your health. Please, go and see a doctor, will you?’

Kagome looked into his face, saw his anxiety for her in his innocent eyes and could not bring herself to hurt him (like telling him to go to hell, which she wanted to tell him now more than anytime before). She sighed once more. ‘Okay, okay. If I get worse I’ll go and see a doctor. For now I’m just fed up with them.’

This was not enough for Hojo’s liking but he was afraid to push her further. Maybe he would do some damage to her nerves … Nerves. This reminded him of something and he looked out for the little present he had wanted to give her. He saw it lying some steps down and picked it up.

‘I’d much more want to have you seeing a doctor right now, but it’s your choice. Just promise me you will go if you’re getting worse!’ He waited for her nod and than went on, ‘I came here this morning hoping that I might be able to see you, Higurashi, and to give you this.’ He held the package out to her, noticing the slight blush on her face.

Kagome felt highly embarrassed and wished she had tried her homework once more. Hojo and his little presents! If he would only stop doing this … Nevertheless she took it from his hand and unwrapped it. It turned out to be some homeopathic ointment for the cure of neuralgia. She blinked at it, then at him. ‘Huh?’

Hojo smiled at her. ‘In case your neuralgia becomes more severe again. It is a new ointment, you know, it has just come in. It’s from America.’ Like this explained it all.

Kagome was speechless for a moment. ‘Um … thank you, Hojo.’ She finally managed to say.

His smile grew bigger and brighter. ‘You’re welcome, Higurashi!’

She nodded and would have continued her sweeping, showing him in this very rude way that she wanted to be left alone to do her work, but he stood on the very step she was to clean, too close for her liking and still smiling at her. What more? What does he want now? Another date? Kagome sighed inwardly. The last thing she needed was another date with Hojo.

‘Ahem … Higurashi.’

Kagome fought the urge to roll her eyes. Yes, he was about to ask her out again. Hey, hadn’t he just said she should stay in bed?

‘Higurashi, I wanted to ask you something …’ He looked and sounded like a small child, asking his favourite aunt for some of his favourite sweets. ‘I-I know you’re not that well and that you should stay in bed and … But I wanted to ask you … if you want to … One of my cousins is celebrating his twentieth birthday on Wednesday and he invited me, too, and because of the holiday we don’t have school on Thursday, so would you like to come with me?’ He hurried through the sentence and sighed with relief when it was out.

He looked at the girl whom he had admired for so long now. Would she accept the invitation and come with him? It would mark another step in their relationship, seeing that she had never before met someone of his family. If she accompanied him she would be regarded as his girlfriend … by the members of his family at least. Would she come? He waited anxiously for her answer.

Kagome sighed again. What was she to say now? ‘No’ would suit her best; she had enough problems with boys. But on the other hand she had no real reason to say no. Furthermore, it would hurt him if she said no and she did not want to hurt him. And he looked at her like a puppy, with huge, pleading eyes. Oh, I might as well go as not, I think. Maybe it would stop me thinking. Perhaps Inu Yasha comes to fetch me before Wednesday, though I told him not to follow me.

So she nodded. ‘Okay, I’m coming with you.’

He seemed to radiate pure, innocent joy. ‘That’s great, Higurashi! Wonderful! I’m so happy! So then, I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?’

‘Yes, okay.’ He didn’t notice how unenthusiastic her voice was.

Hojo grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then turned around and ran down the stairs. When he reached the street, he waved at her before riding off on his bike. ‘See you, Higurashi!’

Kagome waved listlessly back and, putting the small pot down, she returned to her former work. Great, Kagome, really great! Now you have a date with Hojo again, when all you want is to hide in some dark corner and be left alone …

* ~ *

Kagome rose from her memories of the morning and shook her head. No, she did not react to Hojo, definitely not. He had been standing close to her, touched her two times and all she had felt was embarrassment and a slight annoyance. No fluttering of her nerves, no fire inside of her belly. But then, he was more like a boy in her eyes, not a man. Not someone to cause such feelings. Maybe it was different with other men?

Then she finally realised what a fool she had been. She blushed, furious with herself for her stupidity. Had she not been travelling with two males for almost fourteen days since Sesshomaru had taken her innocence? What about Inu Yasha and Miroku? They had been close enough during their travel! The group had stayed together nearly twenty-four hours each day. If really every male around her had aroused her these two would surely have been affecting her!

Did they? Kagome laid her head on the rim and closed her eyes. No, neither had affected her as much as Sesshomaru had done. Neither had caused the same havoc within her body with only their touches as Sesshomaru had done. For when Miroku had touched her, when he put a hand on her shoulder, for example, like he had done yesterday when she had left, she felt the warm feeling of friendship. Nothing more. When he had fondled her bottom – though he had not done this for a long time now, he seemed to prefer fondling Sango – she had felt utterly embarrassed.

What a contrast to what she felt when merely thinking about Sesshomaru doing the same … The well-known, crushing wave of heated desire shot through her small body and she shook with the force of it. There it was again. She could almost feel his touch, feel his elegant, tender fingers on her behind … Kagome stifled another moan with her hands. No, it was not to be mistaken. She did absolutely not react to Miroku like she reacted to Sesshomaru!

Inu Yasha … She stilled. Absentmindedly she brushed a wet strand out of her face, noticing how shrivelled her palms had become. She rose and stepped out of the tub onto the soft mat that lay in front of it. Her thoughts concentrated on Inu Yasha, she dried herself off.

Yes, she did react to Inu Yasha, but … differently. More innocently. She smiled a bit sadly and remembered all the times he had smiled at her, all the times he had carried her on his back. She had been so close to him then …

Kagome’s heart filled with an aching tenderness for the hanyou. She loved him so much, wanted his happiness so greatly that she would sacrifice herself up for him. She wanted to hold him and protect him from the cruel world that had hurt him so much. She wanted to fill his life with joy and laughter, love and friendship; and even if she lost him to Kikyo, as long as he was happy …

Kagome hung the towel on its hook and quickly dressed in her pyjamas. She took up another towel and went across the corridor into her room, sitting down on her bed. There she began half-heartedly to dry her hair, her thoughts still fixed on the hanyou.

She remembered the time he had almost kissed her. Oh, how fast her heart had been beating then! How the butterflies in her belly had danced! Then, shortly afterwards, while he had been hurt in his human form, during the first new moon since she had met him, he had asked her if he might lay his head in her lap. She had granted him his wish – and her heart had danced in joy.

Kagome stopped the aimless rubbing of her hair and sat thoughtfully, the towel in her motionless hands, her hair still dripping wet. There were some reactions, she though, but they are not comparable. They were never that strong and overwhelming. I have never before lost my mind so completely … Some drops gathered at the tips of her hair and fell onto her shirt, wetting it thoroughly, but she did not notice.

I have never reacted to anybody that strongly … not even to Inu Yasha! And he is the one I love. She frowned slightly. But then, my love for Inu Yasha is innocent, kind of. We are both just teenagers, neither of us should feel this … this need, this lust, this passion … I do not want him to … to kiss me and touch me the way his brother does, I’ve never wanted it.

Kagome’s frown deepened. Had she just thought she did not want Inu Yasha kissing or touching her? She squeezed her eyes shut, thinking hard. Did she not want it? Stupid, of course did she want him to kiss her and hold her …

She tried to imagine how it would be like to be held and kissed by Inu Yasha. Her mind granted her wish and brought forth the images, but she felt strangely untouched by them. There was … warmth, and love, and tenderness. But nothing more. Curiously, she felt embarrassed with the thought of Inu Yasha kissing her. Kagome huffed and tried harder, but all she got were imagines of Inu Yasha’s brother kissing her and holding her close.

When breath and heartbeat had calmed down again, she sighed and shook her head forcefully, spraying tiny drops of water everywhere. Stupid, she chastised herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! You did not want to think of him, so stop this! She buried her face in her hands. Well, at least she was now sure that only Sesshomaru could arouse her like that. That’s not a very soothing thought.

Something cold ran down her spine and Kagome was jerked out of her renewed misery. Now she realised her still wet hair and the meanwhile equally wet pyjamas top. Angrily muttering to herself she wrapped the towel around her hair and took off the shirt. She laid it over the back of her chair to let it dry and turned to her wardrobe to get herself a new, dry one.

As she stepped over to the piece of furniture she caught her reflection in the large mirror that her grandpa had recently brought to her room. It was large enough to see her whole body from top to toe, its polished glass shining, the wooden frame ornamented with strange carvings. Grandpa had said this was a magical mirror that showed its owner what he – or she – wished to see. Kagome did not want to know where he had got that thing or why he had thought she needed it. Right now she did not care at all.

On the surface she could clearly see herself, naked to the waist, and on her left hip she detected, half hidden under the waistband of the pyjama trousers, five little half-moons. She touched them with her fingertips. Yes, I remember … This is where he held me when …

Kagome closed her eyes and felt a strong arm sneak around her waist to hold her steady. A heated, hard body was pressed against hers, the hand on her left hip tightened its grip and the claws pierced her skin as he slammed forcefully into her heated core.

Her lips parted as her breath became once more erratic. The fingertips on the scarred skin trembled slightly. Vaguely she was aware of approaching footsteps, but the meaning of this drowned in the flood of her reawakened desire.

The door slammed open and her brother Sota burst into the room, the cat Buyo clinging to his shoulders.

‘Hey, Kagome, when –’ he stopped and stared at his sister. She stood in the middle of her room, only half-dressed, with a strange look on her face. His eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. Then he turned around, blushing furiously.

‘Uh … sorry, sis …’

Kagome blinked, slowly rousing from her stupor. Then she blushed, too. Hastily she got a shirt out of the wardrobe and pulled it over her head. When she was decently dressed, she felt that she had gotten her voice sufficiently under control to speak.

‘Sota! Can’t you knock before you burst into someone’s room?’

The small boy stared intently down on his toes. ‘I’m really sorry, sis. Next time I’ll remember to knock.’

‘Make sure you do!’ Kagome glared at her brother’s back. ‘You can turn round, Sota, I’m decent now.’

He cast a glance over his shoulder and, seeing she was indeed decent, he turned around. There was a heavy blush on his face and he did not look up, but kept staring at his toes. Kagome eyed him, curious, embarrassed and annoyed.

‘Well, Sota, why did you come? Do you want to ask something?’

Sota squirmed a little bit, still not looking up. ‘Uh … yeah … wanted to ask …’

‘So-ta!’ Kagome patience wore thin.

‘Just wanted to ask you when Inu Yasha will come to fetch you?’ the boy mumbled. Then he raised his eyes to peer at his sister. ‘You know, I’ve got a new videogame and I want to show him. Maybe he’ll play with me. He did so last time and though he wasn’t good it was -’

‘He won’t come,’ interrupted Kagome the growing enthusiasm of her brother. ‘I told him not to follow me this time.’

Sota’s excited expression fell. ‘Oh …’

His shoulders slumped and he hung his head. He looked so very disappointed that Kagome smiled in spite of herself. Just like Shippo sometimes … Sota’s disappointment touched her heart. She faked a cheerful smile and patted his shoulder.

‘Oh, come on, Sota! You know how he is! He’ll surely come soon and then you can show him your new game.’

He looked up and smiled back, once again an excited, happy child. ‘That’s right, he’ll come soon. I’ll practice a bit more, bye sis!’ He skipped out of the room, closing the door behind him with a loud thud.

Kagome’s smile vanished. With a deep sigh she heavily sat down on her bed again and buried her face in her hands. Her body was still burning with embarrassment – and desire.

She was still aroused, strongly so. Her inside seethed with need, the need for him, for his touch …

O gods …

It was him, always and only him, Sesshomaru. He was the only one to affect her that strong, to arouse her at all! And she wanted him, yearned for him and his touch, his kiss, his forceful thrust …

Her hands fell from her face and came to rest in her lap. Kagome stared at them sightlessly. There was no use denying it. She wanted him, wanted him so badly that it hurt. She could not resist him. She had not resisted the first time, had not even thought about fighting him! All she had done was reacting to the feeling of his lips on hers and to his touch. Afterwards she had for days fought to forget him, but she had struggled in vain. She could not forget. She remembered – everything.

Then he had come to her again. And again she had reacted to him, had wanted him, and had welcomed him, forgetting about everything and everybody around.

She could not deny it. She could not deny him her body – and herself the pleasure and the delight. Pleasure. Delight. Yes, these two meetings with Sesshomaru had brought her more pleasure and more delight than anything else before had done. Kagome could not deny that either.

She had to accept it. Had to accept that, while loving Inu Yasha, she yearned for his brother, Sesshomaru.

If she was honest with herself, and she had always tried to be, it was not as hard to accept as it should have been. Being honest, she had to admit that she would really miss it – miss him - if they were not to meet again.

Kagome’s face was sporting a nice shade of deep, embarrassed red and she sighed somewhat resignedly. But this was the truth and she would not fight it any longer. She reacted like a wanton bitch whenever he was near. He was, in essence, a dog. Did it matter then? No; and she would not let it trouble her any longer. What was the use of worrying, anyway, if she couldn’t change it?

Kagome buried her face in her hands again, only the bright red tips of her ears could be seen. Being honest was so embarrassing !

Another deep sigh escaped her lips when she thought of her friends in the feudal era: Sango-chan, Shippo-chan, Miroku-sama and Inu Yasha. She felt so very guilty and ashamed. Accepting her need for Sesshomaru meant betraying them even more than she had already done. He was their enemy, Inu Yasha’s enemy, how could she accept him as her lover? She shook her head. Only too easily …

But what she was mostly ashamed for, if she was truly, utterly honest with herself, was that she somehow did not feel guilty and ashamed for loving him at all. Somehow it felt perfectly right.