Blue moon and Red Fire

Chapter 33: Souta Higurashi

Visibility was an increasingly dense fog that grew thicker the farther one looked out. Wind whipped at their backs then washed into their face with a torrent of snow making it difficult to keep their heads up. Especially for Houjo, he stood there, holding his sword like a child wields a security blanket to combat anxiety, his entire body shivering from the frozen air. His hands and feet were so cold and numb that he’d lost all sensation in them and he could barely keep his fingers contracted around the hilt. “Just calm down guys!” He called out, lips and voice shaking from cold. “Don’t worry about what they did to him right now, we have to think about what we’re gonna do with him!”

Souta pivoted from where he stood in the snow towards Inuyasha and darted towards him with every ounce of his new speed, something that still managed to catch Inuyasha off guard. “Souta listen to me!” Inuyasha tried to elicit some response from the boy, but he didn’t seem to hear him at all and dived forward with drawn back fist, throwing a punch at Inuyasha. Inuyasha lifted his arm out to block, his other arm taunt and ready to reach out and grab on to his shirt. He felt Souta’s fist collide with his forearm he was immediately surprised by the initial sting of the impact spawning from pure strength, before he could be fully aware of this new strength, he was immediately met with a wave of searing, piercing, soul wrenching pain that washed through his arm. “!!” Inuyasha let out a grunt of pain and immediately took a quick step back, even that quick contact had hurt more then he thought it would. Souta landed on his feet in a splash of inch thick sleet covering the yard.

Souta turned on one foot and pushed off towards Houjo, but in his haste his foot slipped on the powdery snow and he stumbled, falling to his knees. The new agility mixed with Souta’s childish lack of it was an odd sight. Souta looked up with a cold defensiveness, locking on to Inuyasha as the Hanyou took a step towards him, then paused and froze indecisively. Seeing him paralyzed with uncertainty, Souta pushed himself off the ground and launched at the near by Houjo. “!!” Houjo’s heart jumped and he reflexively lifted the sword defensively and blocked as Souta’s body came leaping at his. Souta’s hands latched on to Houjo’s head and his feet were planted on the older boy’s chest, hanging with an unexpected weight, the edge of the blade pressed against his chest and keeping Souta’s body from making full contact.

“Unnhh!” Houjo cried out in the pain that tore through head, sending his senses scattering, the world was nothing but a dull roar and a blur underneath it. He felt himself falling forward towards Souta’s weight and his body felt as though it were acting on it’s own when he staggered and caught himself, he could feel a heat radiating from the shard around his neck, far clearer then the pain that was like small, electric needles borrowing through his brain. The jewel reacted to the strange force emitting from Souta and Houjo’s muscles locked and a pressure swelled up like an explosion, his body excreted a surge of electricity that in turn burned into Souta. “Souta!” He yelled and pushed outward with the sword and dragged it down, raking the edge across Souta’s chest and driving the boy off with a trickle of blood. Houjo staggered back and clinched his forehead tightly until the pain dulled away, it took him a few seconds to open his eyes and realize what he’d done. Souta landed on his back and a small wash of blood was flowing from the cut and staining the skin underneath the torn fabric of his shirt. “Oh no…I’m sorry.” He looked at Souta, then at Inuyasha almost desperately. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

Souta hissed in pain and rolled onto his feet with one wild motion, he lashed out like a cornered beast, attacking the closest to him. He turned to Kouga and fixed his eyes on him in a cold glare, watching carefully with a tension ready to act. “What the hell are we supposed to do with him if we can’t touch him?!” Kouga shouted with frustration, wanting to grab the boy and restrain him. “Huh?” Souta seemed to stall, his eyes shifting around between Inuyasha and Houjo, paranoia. “What is he…” Houjo took a slow step forward and Souta dived forward, the inhumanly quick speed of his propulsion was so unexpected Kouga didn’t have the reflexes to respond. Souta’s arms wrapped around Kouga’s neck and he swung around to Kouga’s back, his legs wrapped them selves tightly around Kouga’s waist and his arms tightened their embrace into an snake like constriction. “Agggkk!” Kouga’s eyes widened, before now Souta’s weak arms wouldn’t have even been able to hold on for very long, but now they were able to bind Kouga’s muscular neck with a suffocative strength. The very contact scent the tearing pain through his throat and his waist. It was overwhelming, a slow impalement.

Kouga lost his balance and fell forward, and , devoid of a clear reason,, Souta fell off of him before the wolf reached the ground. “Annnnaaa!” A spasm ruptured through Souta’s body and he cried out an unknown pain that suddenly over took him. The frigid winds easily stripped away more opaquely transparent

“Souta!” It vaguely occurred to Inuyasha that this may have been the only time he could try and reach him. Maybe some kind of veil had lifted, maybe he could speak and Souta would remember him. “Souta! Can you hear me!?” Inuyasha ran toward Souta and the ground began to shake under his feet, he nearly lost his balance in the wet snow, Houjo fell to his knees behind him. “Sou-!” A tree tentacle shot up from the ground underneath him, the tip of it pounded into his back as it rose and sent him sliding a few feet away, before he could realize what had struck him he was entangled by forest of tentacles. “Fuck!” He spat in frustration. Kouga rolled to his side and staggered to the ground, gasping for lost air, he felt the tell tale sensation of the ground trembling underneath his feet and tried to leap to the side, but exhaustion overtook his strength and he wasn’t fast enough, a tree tentacle slung rigidly out of the snow covered dirt like a launching catapult that came 180 to the ground and smashed him in to the ground with a sharp cry of pain.

“!!” Houjo flinched and looked around in horror at the forest reemerging around him until he was surrounded by all sides, leaving only himself and Souta. It didn’t touch Souta, didn’t go near him. “Inuyasha! Kouga.” He looked around frantically for them but they were lost in the fog of snow and tall, fleshy tentacles that stood like tall grass wavering in the wind. He wiped the snow from his eyes and watched with an anxious fear As Souta’s eyes shot open and he wiped around in a wild movement that brought him to his stomach and then to his feet, the pain subsided. As the boy stared at him through the veil of falling snow, he couldn’t figure out what to do.

After standing seemly frozen, Souta darted forward with a start of speed, Houjo wasn’t ready for it, his intent clear. “Sorry Souta.” Houjo called out with his stomach sinking in fear and guilt he dragged the dull side of his sword across the ground and kicked up a wall of snow that Souta collided with, leaving him blind for a few split seconds while Houjo took a single side step, just enough to send a hard kick to Souta’s legs and knock him off his feet. Souta fell face first into the coated grass, a hiss of air sucked into his lungs with pain. With a deep gasp Souta rolled on to his back and immediately latched on to Houjo’s leg with his arm. “UnnN!” Houjo tensed in his body shuttered as the piercing/tearing coursed up like poison from the contact, Souta pulled the leg towards him and Houjo lost his balance, falling on to his back. Souta opened his mouth wide and bit down into him, the pain was stronger then Houjo’s surpise “Ahhh!” Houjo cried out at the new puncturing sting and the increased intensity of the soul wrenching he already felt. His muscle locked and the jewel shard radiated with heat, his body was bolted in place while it forced out the electrify that coursed over him. But the pain was too strong for Houjo to remain still even under those conditions. He shoved his foot down and kicked Souta in the chest to free himself and the electricity seemed to flow towards the limb that moved and discharged through his foot.

Souta let out a hoarse cry, his arms were wrenched free and his body slid a few inches, leaving a tread in his wake. Houjo climbed to his feet and held the sword defensively, taking time to notice the new burn marks on his shoes. “I’m sorry!” He immediately apologized, hoping that Souta could hear him somewhere in there. Ineffective at best, Souta didn’t even seem to hear him, or recognize him, as more then a threat at least. He stood back and stared at Houjo, watching for some opening it seemed. The piercing look from the slightly edge pupils was unnerving and Houjo was frozen as well, not wanting to attack him, but not wanting to be attacked either. ‘Alright, Calm down… What am I supposed to do!’ An anger accompanying his mental narrative. ‘What’s wrong with him? He doesn’t even know I’m here…Why is he attacking me? What is he waiting for? Where did all these things come from! Where are Inuyasha and Kouga?!’ Houjo’s face began to show his loss of nerve, and that seemed to be an acceptable cue. Souta jumped forward with an amazing reaction time, before Houjo could even come from his thoughts and block Souta had speared him down to the ground.

“Let go!” Inuyasha struggled his way free from the tentacles that bound him and snatched his Tetsusaiga from the appendages that held it. The red forest suddenly withdrew to the ground in sync and a massive tree hurtled towards him, “!” Inuyasha raised his sword and held it steady as the massive growth slammed into him, a painful shockwave jarred through his arms and he felt his planted feet sliding backwards. A spurt of clear liquid ejected from point where the broad sword hacked in to it, he pushed back, slowing the sliding down, but he felt his weaker left arm falter under the heavy pressure until it gave out the sword was pushed into his chest and he fell to the ground. The stream of wind in it’s wake washed over him with a blanket of snow and the tendrils shot up again and went for him. “Damit! Let me go! Souta!”

Houjo felt his muscles tense while the electricity sparked up in streamed through him with a powerful current at the first contact of Souta’s body and the phantom pain. Houjo’s eyes narrowed and his hands trembled, he bit down so hard to keep from screaming he thought his teeth might shatter. Souta held on to his shoulders and this time he didn’t immediately withdraw, instead he latched, staring down at him with eyes trembling with pain and his entire body quaking. “So…Souta.” Houjo stared at him with a new resolve, an equally intense pain coursing into both of them. It was almost a test of will, which of them could withstand the most. Souta hissed and his eyes twitched, then suddenly his head fell forward and he went for Houjo’s neck with bared teeth. Houjo flinched and, for the second time, forced his locked muscles into action and slammed his head into Souta’s, sending the boy rolling into the snow.

“Ow…ow…” Houjo cringed and took in starved gasped of air, trying again not to scream while the pain ebbed away. It took longer this time, and a dull ache throbbed in his chest. Not insurmountable, not with adrenaline rushing though his veins. His vision lost focus. Blurry, very fuzzy. Houjo sat up. “!!” Nausea, a churning in his stomach and a inkling at the bottom of his throat, he had to keep himself from throwing up. Just tense and wait till it passes…

The world rocked and spun in dizziness but adrenaline gave him the strength to stand, his pounding heart took the form of the even more sickening fear and horrible worry he felt. He expected to see the boy whip to his feet in that wild motion, but it Souta instead curled into a ball and clinched his eyes.

“Arrrggaaaaa!” A staggering cry of pain returned and Souta began to writhe in the snow.

“S-Souta!” Houjo took a half step forward and paused, watching him anxiously. “!” W-what was this? Something was pushing down on his lungs, an intense weight had come from nowhere and now he couldn’t breath. Gasping, nothing, sucking, nothing. Was he drowning?! “…” Houjo clinched his chest and tried to force a single inhale but no air seemed to come of it, his head felt as though something was in his skull squeezing his brain. “”Annnnaaa!” He fell to his knees. The pressure!

“…” For Souta it was like waking up from a dream, a cloudiness that numbed his consciousness was slowly dissipating. He felt like he’d been put in the backseat, vaguely watching while something else dictated his movements. The pain subsided, but a new sensation took it’s place… “What…the…” Souta shuttered. Cold, no, freezing, incasing his body in a thin layer of ice, taking away some of his movements. He felt this pulling, like peeling tape off of his body, and much to his horror he could see something drawing out of him. His eyes were unfocused and the world was blurry, but he saw was clear, because he didn’t see it with his eyes. It was inanely simple for him to differentiate his normal vision from the alternate vision, the sensations that were physical and the sensations that were not. Like differencing what one saw in their head and with their eyes. “Wha…What is that?!” He recoiled in horror when he saw a large, long, amazingly massive, half transparent serpent stretching from around his body and wrapping around Houjo with it’s mouth wide. “Houjo!”

Houjo saw nothing, all he felt was the pain, he was drowning in it.

Souta was overtaken by an immense fear for Houjo, what was it doing! Get away from him! It was another instinctual cue that drove his action, he began to pull the snake back, drawing it back towards him as tangibly as if he’d grabbed it with his hands and tugged at it. He clinched his eyes shut and kept pulling, shoving down his fear and contentiously thinking of Houjo. Did it hurt him?! What was it trying to do to him?! He peeked his eyes open and watched the head sink into his body, only faintly realizing he almost recognized the ghostly snake he was pulling away from Houjo into his body…It was going into his body… Oh man! It didn’t occur to him the absolute fear of the situation until he became aware and then afraid. “Haaa!” He yelped in fear and fell back to the ground, staring at himself in horror. “What is that thing!?”

There was a small roar as the tentacles withdrew to the ground, releasing Inuyasha and Kouga. The cold wind died, a heavy blanket of falling snow slowly tapered off into thick, packed flurries. “…Huh?” Houjo pried his eyes open with a startled gasp, his body trembling and his breathes quaking audibly. Houjo hugged his arms close to his body, his hands felt stiff and frozen, no longer able to bend enough to hold his sword. “Sss-Souta?”

Souta flinched and looked up, “Houjo?!” His slightly edged eyes were no longer cold and predatory but young and terrified. “I-I” His body jolted with a spasm and he suddenly screamed out in pain, he fell on to his back and clinched his chest with his fingers. This time he didn’t stop screaming.

“Souta?!” The instant Souta responded to him he seemed to all but forget the inhibitions that prevented him from moving carelessly about him and ran over to him, slipping, stumbling and nearly falling every inch of the way. He finally lost his balance when trying to stop and fell to his knee over Souta, the boy’s cries of pain seemed to resonate harsher now that he was up close. Houjo could feel his throat tightening and his heart pounding with a new found fear. Encouraged by the response he’d finally obtained, Houjo grabbed his shoulders with a wash of anxiety, but to his surprise he found no pain came. He was relieved at that. “Souta! Hey Souta! Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

Souta squirmed and writhed in the snow under his grip, and the screams subsided out of complete fatigue rather then a relief, replaced by weak moans and rapid pants. “Oh Souta…what happened to you?” Houjo’s face was half numb from the cold, he could barely move his mouth and his words subsequently were slurred and murmured. Which was why he was so astounded to see that Souta wasn’t anywhere near that condition. ‘He’s so warm…’ Houjo slipped his arm underneath Souta’s back and scoped him up, cradling him in his lap. ‘He’s feverous.’ Souta was so warm…before Houjo knew it he was hugging the boy’s warm body close to his shivering chest, absorbing what heat he could. His half frozen hand brushed against the side of Souta’s face and scabbing skin flaked off, leaving raw, pink flesh exposed. Houjo recoiled his hand in disbelieving horror, ‘His skin really is falling off?’

“Houjo!” Inuyasha treaded through the snow drifts with heavy, hasty steps, the fatigue evident in his lag, the pain clear in his slumping posture and the way he held his left arm that dragged his sword at his side. He was a bit calmer, more rational this time, of so the fatigue made him seem. Falling to his knees beside Houjo and finding it safe to reach out and lay his hand on the boy’s cheek by the way Houjo cradled him. “Is he..”

“He’s…well…” Houjo stared down at him, trying to think of a way to describe it, but he couldn’t, mainly because he didn’t know what it was. “He’s alive.”

There was a sharp cough and Inuyasha and Houjo looked up to see Kouga standing over their shoulders. The wolf tilted his head slightly and coughed again, expelling a mist of blood, then wiped the red liquid from his lips and unceremoniously asked “What’s wrong with him?” Not that he wasn’t concerned.

“I don’t know…” Houjo stood up, his eyes shifting around with an almost paranoid caution, and carried Souta into the house. The cold inside was dry and still, not like the snowy, chilling winds outside, Houjo’s shivering some how grew stronger inside, he was shaking so intensely that the tremors radiated through Souta’s body. He became completely aware of how cold and how tired and how much pain he was in when he attempted to negotiate the stairs. “Hnn…” He managed to climb two steps before his completely numb legs began trembling and an ache began to develop, it was the first thing he felt in them for a while. Houjo ignored it and stepped up, climbing higher and higher until he reached halfway and an immense weakness made him nearly collapse. His arms grew tired and the insides of his fingers felt as though they were on fire, starting to thaw.

“Give im’ to me.” Inuyasha came to his side and Houjo simply nodded, gently slipping Souta’s body from one set of cold, weak arms to another. Then Inuyasha went a head up to Souta’s room and slowly eased him down to the bed and stepped back, while Houjo just about fell against the wall and slid down with fatigue. Inuyasha wasn’t quite sure why he just stopped and stared, his eyes wide and his body anxious. Maybe the uncertainty seized him, his mind racing, trying to make sense of it all, maybe if he figured out some semblance of what happened to Souta he could decide on something to do. Maybe it was the overwhelming fear, which needed no explanation, maybe it was everything.

Houjo managed to make it up the stairs with Kouga’s help.

Kouga sat down on the bed beside Souta, watching him intently. He studied the small scabs over the visible parts of his arms and face, like small drops of sweat, “What did those things do to him?”

Houjo grabbed on to the wall the second he was through the door and collapsed to his knees, nearly fell completely to the ground. After discerning Kouga’s concerns he sat back against the wall, “He wasn’t himself…” Houjo said, drawing in his legs and hugging them closely to his chest, trying to get warm, fighting against the sleep that swept over him like a crashing wave. “Maybe it was controlling him like those animals down the well.”

“You think?” Inuyasha dropped down to his knees beside the bed and rested his chin on the warm covers, his eyes fixed on the boy. “But it was nothing like that, those animals had those damn things stuck in their backs, those things looked like they were running away from him.”

A warm sensation filled Kouga’s abdomen and pain throbbed in time with his pulse. “Enn…” He clinched his eyes shut and rested a hand on his chest, as his body warmed the pain seemed grow with it. He slipped off the bed and laid on his back on the ground. “What ever it was, it seemed to hurt a lot.”

“You think he’s sick? Like before?” Inuyasha’s ears perked and he lifted his head slightly, it was almost childish, his intensity and his anxiety.

“Maybe.” Houjo shrugged, he laid his head down in his lap. He didn’t want to sleep, but he was so tired… “But he didn’t cough up blood last time, and his skin didn’t start pealing…Oh man…what was making him act like that? And what was that… feeling that happened when we touched him?”

“I don’t understand any of this.” Inuyasha continued to stare.

Kouga coughed, feeling the back of his throat wet with thick blood, “Maybe…if it’s the same sickness, he’ll…he’ll get better.” His chest felt heavy, it was becoming harder to breath.

“Maybe…he will…” Houjo continued to drift, the weight grew heavier until his words slurred and his eyes fell close.

Then like a burst, Souta arched off the bed and began screaming. “Gaaaahhhhhaa!”

Houjo flinched and lifted his head, Kouga immediately sat up, though a bit to sparingly and he was met with pain, and Inuyasha sprang up and leaned over the boy. “Souta?”

Souta curled into a ball, small whimpers escaping from his tightly clinched mouth, he seemed to try and repress it at first, but a deep, sputtering cough forced his mouth open and a thick, clear liquid was expelled. Inuyasha grabbed his sides and held his squirming body in place. “Souta! Hey Souta! Listen to me!” He yelled, his franticness amounted to an almost angered state.

Souta’s eyes cracked open, just barely, then immediately closed, retreating from the blurry pain that came to his eyes from the light that felt far to harsh. He forced out a coarse whisper. “It…It hurts.” He moaned, his hand clawing at the area under his collar bone as if he wanted to tear his skin off, and like everywhere else it began to peal off easily, leading to pink new skin.

“What hurts?” Inuyasha asked, looking down on him intently.

“Everything…I’m…really…sleepy…” His voice grew quieter and his stirring slowed to a small twitches and disappeared, he was asleep again .

Inuyasha and Kouga glanced at each other, then at Houjo, who returned their suspended, questioning stares with one of his own. “Well, if he is sick.” Houjo finally said. “Then he needs medicine…or something.” Anything at this point.

Houjo tracked down the thick, syrupy flu medicine that he’d brought before, but the effort was futile, they couldn’t get Souta to drink it. He wouldn’t come to consciousness beyond a few groans and shifts.

“Just let him sleep.” Kouga suggested. Not being able to get Souta to wake up was becoming more reasonable to him the longer he was awake, he was hurt, he was tired, and he wanted to sleep.

And so, grudgingly, Inuyasha did.

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Night fall brought warmer winds and slightly warmer temperatures hovering a few degrees above freezing. The snow slowly began to dissolve into slush. A small surge of cool air washed across the side of Inuyasha’s face and the weight of sleep seemed to slip off for the most part and the fog shrouding his mind thinned just enough for consciousness. He peeked his eyes open saw the shadowy outline of Houjo prying the window open slightly. “…” Inuyasha tilted his head and his sleepy eyes drifted to Souta who was sleeping in the center of the bed beside him, soaked in sweat and covered in little scabs of peeling skin.

Houjo stepped over Kouga who was little more then passed out on the floor and climbed on to the side of the bed. “Inuyasha? Are you awake?” He leaned over Inuyasha and towards the half-lidded golden eyes, examining, his night vision wasn’t as good as Inuyasha’s.

Inuyasha gently reached his hand out and laid it softly on Souta’s forehead, an action he’d seen many times before but never fully understood it’s meaning. “How long have you been awake?” Inuyasha asked, he was curious as to why he hadn’t heard him in all of this time, the idea of being that tired, of sleeping that hard didn’t sit well with him.

“Not to long.” Houjo had spent most of his conscious time laying on the other side of Souta, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of it all. Maybe it the lull of sleep that still held him, but his only thoughts now were that it was 4 in the morning, but it felt like 2. Most of his attention had turned to Souta. “He’s hotter then he was before.”

“Hn…” Inuyasha nodded and sat upright, slowly, and for the first time he fully felt all of the pain from their last battle. His left arm ached, his neck felt strained and his back throbbed among lesser things. “Damnit…the next time I see those things...” Inuyasha growled bitterly.

“Calm down, don’t wake up Kouga…” Houjo whispered.

Inuyasha felt a twinge of annoyance and glared at him, his ears twitching as he grunted “To hell with Kouga, what about Souta?”

Houjo smiled. “I don’t think I could wake up Souta if I tried.” Houjo pressed his finger against Souta’s head one last time before he climbed off the bed again. “I’ll be right back, oh, and take off those clothes, there’re soaked.” Houjo crept out of the room with soft steps.

Inuyasha felt Souta’s chest, Yeah, he was soaked. “How did you not wake up?” Inuyasha grunted, slipping his arm behind Souta’s back and sitting him upright, the boy’s head rolled forward lifelessly, making no sound but his steady breathing. Inuyasha looked over him carefully, then he reached down Souta’s back and pulled Souta’s shirt over his head and maneuvered it down his arms. “Souta…” He looked over the boy with worry and pity, finding new scabs where his skin started to peal across his back and torso. He hated feeling like this, it was awkward being this concerned about someone, especially if you couldn’t do anything to help them, and you didn’t know what exactly was wrong.

He was about to lay him back down when he found that the bedding where he’d laid was damp with his sweat. So he picked Souta up, holding him with one arm, the boy’s head fell on to his shoulder. He pealed the cover off the bed, before laying Souta carefully back down. And again he found himself unable to do anything but stand there and stare at him, all of those protective feelings he had coming back in full force. When he heard Houjo’s footsteps returning he snapped out of it and looked away, moving to the side to allow him to reach the bed.

Houjo slipped a thermometer under his tongue, holding it in place with his hand, and it was a long, quiet minute before he looked down at it again, “105” He announced, holding it up to the moon light from the window.

“Is that bad?”

“Well, it’s not good, but if it doesn’t go any higher he’ll be alright.” There was a silence, Houjo set the thermometer aside “Don’t worry to much Inuyasha, a fever is a good thing, it’s the body’s way of trying to burn out whatever’s making him sick.” He explained. “It’s not pleasant but it’s necessary.”

Inuyasha laid beside Souta and Houjo laid on his stomach across the foot of the bed. The first rays of the sun began to lighten the midnight blue sky, it couldn’t have been more then an hour of sleeping before Souta began shifting audibly on top of the sheets. Inuyasha’s ear perked and he peeked an eye open, just enough to see the distressed, tight expression on Souta’s face before he whimpered and started screaming. “Wha? S-Souta?” Inuyasha sat up abruptly and laid his hand on Souta’s chest, trying to hold him still. “Hey? What’s wrong.” Inuyasha prodded, doziness slowly fading.

Souta wrapped his arms around his chest and rolled on to his side, his body constricting into a trembling ball on top of the sheets. Hojou, and subsequently Kouga were spurred into consciousness by the boy’s cries of pain. There was much clamor, and movement, but enviably all three of them realized how helpless they were. It was agonizing to stand by and watch him scream and shift and cry in some unknown pain, and be able to do nothing about it. Inuyasha finally got so frustrated with it he pulled Souta into his lap and held him tightly against his chest, hoping it would provide some comfort. He just wanted him to stop screaming. Souta, who seemed to be otherwise unresponsive, blindly reached out for something and found Inuyasha’s arm securely around his chest and held on to it . Sometimes he’d trash around wildly, his knew strength making itself present again, other times he’d be so tired he couldn’t make a sound and he’d bite into Inuyaha’s chest and cry softly. It was 30 long minutes until the pain subsided and he finally stopped screaming.

Inuyasha sat with his legs crossed and Souta cradled in his arms, his thumb moved of it’s own volition and began stroking his cheek. As soon as Inuyasha noticed what he was doing he grew embarrassed and pulled his hand away. Souta looked up at Inuyasha with groggy eyes and a weak voice. “I’m thirsty.”

Inuyasha paused questioningly before he realized what he’d just heard was Souta speaking. “Oh! Yeah, sure.” Inuyasha nodded hastily, feeling a great sense of relief finally having something to do, finally having a concretely defined task that could help, even if it was small and mundane, instead of being confused and directionless.

Before Inuyasha was burdened with laying Souta down and leaving him, Houjo offered to take on the task himself. “I’ll go.” He slowly eased himself off the edge of the bed where he’d been immobile for the better part of the half-hour, with each motion he felt the half dormant pain in his body re-awaken, forcing him to take slow and calculated movements.

A small silence pervaded.

Inuyasha turned his head away, a discomforted tension on his face. “Are you…ok?” He asked. Self-conscious concern.

Souta closed his eyes, but even that seemed to hurt, there were places where he felt a throbbing pain that made him sluggish, other places he felt a sting that made him tense, and some places he felt a sharp pain that made him weary to move. His throat felt as though it had been scrapped with a sharp edge, he sparingly opened his eyes in avoidance of the sunlight that seemed to burn, he didn’t want to speak. “I don’t…feel so good.” Nauseously.

“What happened to you?” Inuyasha asked. The question enticed curiosity from Kouga laying on the floor on the other side of the bed.. Inuyasha had all but forgotten he was there until he shifted and sat up, holding his chest tensely. Kouga glanced over, eyes heavy with a lingering fatigue.

“I…” Souta lowered his head in shame, his voice became timid, full of thought filled breaks. “I think I…did this.” A reluctant, somewhat fearful realization.

Inuyasha didn’t understand, and his words came bit impatiently, he wanted to know. “Did what?”

“It’s…” Souta’s body jerked with a sharp convulsion, his tensed form barely contained the sob that threatened to force it’s way out, tears slipping from his clinched eyes. His throat began to feel scratchy and he coughed violently, which quickly turned into harsh sobs. “It’s all my fault.” He cried. Self-conscious fear of the way Inuyasha would think of him now, an overt fear of anger towards him.

“Come on Souta, don’t do that, look at me.” Inuyasha reached down and cuffed Souta’s chin in his hand, lifting his head softly. Souta forced his eyes open, pink and wet with tears, eyelids swollen and puffy. “What’s? What’s your fault?” Confusion.

“I…I…” Speechless.

“Souta, tell me.” Unintentionally curt frustration.

Souta closed his eyes, shutting out the harsh light. “I was down there, and it was dark and cold and really, really scary.” He began blurting out, his voice pressured with sobs that forced their way out and broke into his speech. He sniffled. “And those things were everywhere.” He cried, quickly wiping his eyes with his arms. “And their was this light and it was really, really warm, and I should have ran.” He became choked up and his words cut off.

“Calm down.” Inuyasha said, glancing over at Kouga who glanced back with the same muddled eyes and shrug. “Just take it easy…now, what about a light?”

Houjo returned with glass of ice water and Souta drank it so hastily he nearly choked on it, withdrawing the glass and belting out watery coughs. After quiet moment of Souta catching his breath, with Inuyasha’s prompting he continued. “That light, it was kinda weird cause it was kinda like those monsters…” Tears swelled up with in his eyes again. “And I…” A more intense revulsion at his weakness and a fear of continuing.

Houjo knelt down in front of him and looked him in the eye, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Souta…I think…you think we’ll blame you for something.” He said, his voice prodding questioning, probing for the cause of Souta’s torment. When he didn’t get any reaction to suggest contrary he continued. “Well…we won’t, no matter what you tell us. We’re all just worried and we’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with you.” Genuine concern.

“…” Souta stared down at the ground, then closed his eyes again when the light became to much and started to burn his eyes. “I knew I should have ran, but… it was so warm and I was really cold, and everywhere else was really dark and those things were everywhere. I should have ran, I should have just ran.” He sniffled, causing his sinuses to burn. He cringed. “I felt it going inside of me, and…it felt really good, and I felt all this energy and I felt really strong, and I wasn’t scared…But…I kinda knew it wasn’t good, and I should have just pushed it away…I should have just-“ He buried his head in his hands and cried softly to himself. He felt alone, isolated, thinking they’d immediately begin to hate him. Frantic thoughts ran through his head and he became desperate. “I couldn’t stop myself! I didn’t wanna do it, It was that snake!”

“Calm down.” Inuyasha immediately interjected. “We know it wasn’t you.”

Souta heard him say that, and he’d heard Houjo’s words, he heard every reassurance the three of them tried to give him. He wanted to believe them, but feelings weren’t easily swayed by logic, the isolation pervaded, the shame and self loathing was just as strong, and the sorrow grew even more discouraging. “Just leave him alone for a while.” Kouga finally said, having experienced illogical feelings many times he’d found nothing better to ease them than to allow time to dull them.

So reluctantly, Inuyasha and Houjo followed Kouga’s advice and, as grudgingly as some of them might have taken it, left Souta to himself. With in a few moments the boy had cried himself to sleep, and the three of them sat outside the door, silent until they heard Souta’s sobs cease.

“It was controlling him.” Kouga grunted with bitterness. “I don’t get it, how couldn’t I tell when he first showed up, I didn’t smell it or anything.”

“What did he mean by it was the snake?” Houjo asked. “I never saw a snake anywhere near that thing, ever.”

“How the hell was it controlling him anyway?” Inuyasha posed.

“He said it went inside of him.” Houjo said, crossing his legs and resting his back against the wall. “But he also said it felt good, I couldn’t imagine something like that being a pleasant experience.”

“You know he can see stuff we can’t.” Kouga responded. “It had to be something like that, that would be the only way I couldn’t smell it.”

“You think it like… possessed him or something?” Inuyasha asked.

“What else could it be?” Kouga shrugged.

“Was it just me-“ Houjo started, “Or did it seem like those things were running from him?”

Inuyasha and Kouga looked over at each other. “Kinda…” Kouga murrmored.

“Yeah, maybe.” Inuyasha half mumbled. Inuyasha closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, clamping his hand against his forehead with a long, exasperated sigh. “Damnit, why in the hell is it that we can’t seem to get rid of this thing!” He growled in a harsh whisper, “What the hell are we dealing with!” He hated this feeling, this chaotic, disorganized, helpless feeling, like millions of things needed to be done, millions of imperative things scattered in a clutter around him and he couldn’t finish one or figure out how to do it. His entire body tensed, his hands clinched at his side, he’d never felt such a pervasive frustration.

Kouga watched him carefully, and when silence followed Inuyasha’s mumbling he felt compelled to speak and end the break. “Aw calm down mutt.” He said. “Souta’s probably gonna be fine.” An awkward and, by virtue of being self-conscious, hostile attempt at comforting Inuyasha.

Inuyasha scoffed. “Aw shut up puppy.” Kouga’s intentions clearly weren’t understood, like always. Inuyasha wasn’t looking for comfort and reassurances, he wanted to dwell in brooding a little longer. As depressing as it was, it was far more comfortable then trying to be optimistic.

Night became sunrise with little incident, it wasn’t until night did Souta wake up again, clinching his body in pain, squirming and hissing and crying . Startling Inuyasha, who was laying beside him, awake. “Huh?!” Inuyasha sat upright with a start, trying to compile his scattered senses into an awareness, when he felt Souta dove over his lap and scramble over him in a dishevel.

In his frantic haste Souta clumsily fell face first to the ground and his body landed on it’s side, the fall was followed by an unexpected *urp* sound and the quell of an unsteady stomach. It only made Souta faster. “Hey, Souta!” With reflexes peaking, Inuyasha was on his feet and after the boy, stopping at the bathroom door where Souta entered. Souta fell to his knees by the toilet and vomited up blood, as well as whatever was stilled contained in his stomach and something that seemed to be small pieces of dead flesh.

After the initial splurge there was a small pause where Souta stared, his expression tired and sickly, down at what had just come out of him, the light of the room felt far too intense to bare and he closed his eyes before another wave jerked through his body and his throat convulsed. After a silent half minute of watching with clear distain Inuyasha realized this would be longer and far more arduous then he’d hoped. So, with a yawn and a rub of his eyes with his arm, he slipped in and shut the door softly behind him. With a low, sleepy voice he asked “Are you ok?” A stupid question, he’d admit, but he didn’t know any other way to express his concern. Souta slowly turned his head towards Inuyasha and cracked his eyes open just enough to see him, his mouth hanging open and a murky look on his face. “I don’t feel so good…” He said nauseously.

Inuyasha slowly eased himself down beside Souta, placing a supportive hand on his back and rubbing softly. “I know.”

For a nearly eternal 5 minutes, the queasy, stomach churning sensation was strong inside of him and he remained there on his knees, eyes closed, until he felt completely empty and weak and the feeling waned. Souta dropped on to his hands and knees on the tiled floors, his breathes rasped strenuously as he struggled to catch it. Inuyasha remained idle, watching Souta breathe. “Better?” He asked

Souta peeked up at Inuyasha, who was just a fuzzy blur in the bathroom lights which held no detailed features he could make out. He didn’t want to talk, his teeth hurt too much, only made worse by the way he clinched them tensely. He dropped his head into his arm, suddenly feeling embarrassed Inuyasha had to see him like this. He felt as though he’d become this obscene…thing and he almost hated Inuyasha’s presence here. “I hate this! I can’t even see anything!” He cried out, his body began quaking in an off center motion, sniffling with soft sobs while tears soaked his arm.

Inuyasha sighed, his eyes taking on an uncertain concern in them, “I know.” Inuyasha said, “Don’t worry, it’ll all pass eventually.” Inuyasha took hold of Souta’s small body and lifted him into his arms, cradling the weeping boy close to his chest. He didn’t feel nervous, or awkward as he had other times, he didn’t feel self-conscious. He noticed this and felt satisfied with himself, it seemed to him that this was the way he was supposed to feel with his mate.

Souta grabbed on to Inuyasha’s shirt and looked up blindly in his direction with the most desperate look the Hanyou had ever seen. “I’m sorry.” His voice held the same desperation, almost a fear.

“Sorry? For what?”

“I should have just ran.” He clinched his eyes shut when the light became too intense for him again and clamped his hands over his face, wet streaks of tears running down the sides of his face. “I should have just ran.” He sobbed.

Inuyasha blinked questioningly. “What are you…” Then he realized, a bit later then he would have liked, what Souta was talking about, “Souta.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry!” Souta cried, nearly hysterically. “I was weak and I was really, really scared! I didn’t know it would turn out like this! I was just scared!” Souta rambled and raced on, trying desperately to make Inuyasha understand, trying to convince him not to be angry, not to leave him.

“Souta.” Inuyasha called again.

“Please don’t be mad, I know I’m weak but please don’t leave me-“

“Souta.” Inuyasha cut him off with a stern, annoyed voice. One that made Souta flinch. “Stop doing that, look at me.”

Souta slowly dropped his hands and forced himself to gaze upwards towards Inuyasha with tear-filled, squinted eyes, he could barely keep himself from looking away, a few times he’d lost his battle and closed his eyes to block out the light. “Stop saying that, I’m not mad at you .” Inuyasha grunted, his own eyes closing with a feigned disregard, brought on by a spot of aggravation. “No one’s gonna just up and abandon you.”

“…” Souta looked down at hands resting in his lap, he felt a faint nausea inching around the edges of his stomach, mingling with the nervous unrest.

Inuyasha sighed again, cursing to himself with out thought, Great, now he was feeling awkward. They sat in silence, Inuyasha rested his back against the wall and Souta let his head fall against Inuyasha’s chest. The warmth from the a larger form was unwelcome, but Souta bore it simply for the contact he received. “Feeling any better?” Inuyasha finally spoke.

Souta felt the twinge of an itch on his arm and his hand move to scratch it. With each pass his nails drew up more peeling skin, until he was simply picking his skin off, it was oddly satisfying. The pink, new flesh underneath didn’t feel as good, it ached when he made contact. As he stared down his arm and the opaque, white skin that had come from him, he became keenly aware of the silence between them and his awkwardness became stronger, he ended his idle thought with a half dissociated sentience. “I’m not gonna get any better you know.” Souta began.

Inuyasha peeked one sleepy eye open and looked down at him. “What are you talking about, of course you’ll get better.” Inuyasha attributed this to Souta’s self-doubt and pessimism and thought nothing of it. He immediately dismissed it.

“No, I’m not just saying that.” Souta shook his head. “I saw it, it’s still inside of me.” He sounded unsure of himself, or unsure of what he was saying, or simply unsure about everything.

“Is that thing your where talking about before?”

“Yeah.” Souta nodded. “I didn’t know it at the time it was happening but later when we where…you know…” Souta stared down at his hands and played with his hand. “We were fighting. I saw it. It was coming out of me and going at Houjo.”

“I didn’t see anything.”

Souta glanced up at him in disbelief, he’d forgotten that everything he saw was not visible to everyone. It was frustrating, never sure whether they believed him or not, whether he believed it himself. “I know.” He shrugged, and accepted it just as he always did, and continued. “It was this long snake that was coming out of me and going for him. I didn’t know what else to do so I just…kinda…pulled it back.”

“Hmm…” Inuyasha wasn’t sure Souta hadn’t just been hallucinating, but he kept remembering those times he touched Souta and was met with this searing pain unlike anything he’d ever felt. That feeling, the way Souta moved and acted, that didn’t just come from nowhere. “So it’s still in side of you?”

“You believe me?”

“Yeah, sure.” Inuyasha nodded. “If you…I don’t know, pulled it in and it’s making you sick, can’t you just push it out?”

“I don’t know.” Souta shook his head. “I don’t even feel it, everything just hurts.”

“…” Inuyasha let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes, he didn’t understand this. “It’s alright, you’ll be ok.” He tried to reassure him again. “Feel like eating anything?”

Souta felt the soft nausea inside of him and remembered what had just come out of him , he wasn’t hungry. “Not really.” He rubbed his eyes through his eye lids. “My eyes hurt.”

“Huh?”

“The light really hurts.” He groaned.

“Oh.” Inuyasha’s questioning gaze became a nod and he reached up, feeling along the wall until his hands found the light switch. And as he’d seen Houjo and Souta do many times before, he pulled it down and room became dark.

“Thank you.” Souta mumbled, then curled into Inuyasha’s lap and was engulfed in the familiar scent, sparking memories and sensations of happier things. He let the feelings settled inside of himself and he fell back into a tormented sleep. Inuyasha followed behind soon after.

! - ! - !

“What am I gonna do?” Houjo sighed, perched on the stairwell, his eyes fixed on the open doorway and the detached front door sitting against the wall. He wished more then anything that he’d paid more attention to his father when the man was still alive, he’d been good at these things, most of his memories of his father involved him watching him perform one of his endless projects. He didn’t even remember what they where, and that had been half of the allure of his father, he always watched with the fascination children have with adults doing adult things, but never really knew what things he worked on. He just knew he was handy with a hammer and tool belt, and that he himself wasn’t as well versed in that area, no, he’d been drawn to other areas, things that required more detail, like cooking. His father attributed it all to his mother’s influence, Houjo was never sure if the man was disappointed in him or joking. “I can’t fix this.” He wondered what his father would have thought of him now, if he’d seen the things he’d been through.

Houjo could vaguely hear Kouga outside, wet footsteps sloshing around the damp ground as he trained,. Kouga didn’t have much discipline, but if he did nothing else he would train. Houjo rubbed the back of his head and gave up. The door was a loss, nothing he could do about that. ‘I wonder how Souta’s doing.” He could check on Souta though. He checked Souta’s room and found no one there. Strange. He checked Kagome’s room, nothing, then he checked the bathroom, turning on the light on entry.

Inuyasha stirred at the sudden brightness, and Souta’s face was still buried away from the light. “Huh?” Inuyasha tilted his head and peeked at Houjo.

“Nothing.” Houjo waved his hand dissuasively. “I just wanted to check on Souta…is he doing any better?” He moved from the bed, that was good.”

“No.” Not so good. “Damnit.” Inuyasha cursed nothing in particular as he’d cursed many times, slipping his foot back and climbing unsteadily to his feet. “Why the hell’s his skin falling off?” Taking note of the constant scabbing across the boy’s body.

“I don’t know.” Houjo walked a few steps behind while Inuyasha carried him to his bed room. “Looks like all the peeled stuff is growing back, I guess that’s good. “ Inuyasha gave a small grunt, carefully laying Souta down on to his bed.

“!!” Souta’s eyes shot open and he was jolted from his slumber with sharp hiss. “Ahh, Ahhaaa…” Souta wiggled out of Inuyasha’s arms and rolled on to his stomach on the other side of the bed. “Oww…”

“What? What’s wrong?” Inuyasha asked.

“My back hurts.” He groaned, one hand reaching back in futility and trying to touch one of the spots where the pain radiated from. “The whole middle of my back hurts.”

Houjo ran the tip of his finger along Souta’s spine, getting a sharp outcry in response. “We’ll just have to wait a little while, see if it passes.” Was all he could say at this point. He gave Souta a small bit of medicine to help with the nausea, and something else to help ease the pain, though his choices were limited with Souta’s age. Soon enough Souta was asleep again, this time on his stomach.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

“How long is this damn thing.” Kouga grumbled to himself, he sat with his back against Souta’s bed, and crouched like this he could feel the heat rising off of his exerted body. During the routines of training he’d long since removed Houjo’s borrowed clothing having thoroughly soaked them in sweat, now all that remained were a pair of black boxers, dipped down around the base of his tail. He skimmed through a book assigned to him during English class, having only had the attention span to sit through the first 2 pages without his thoughts idling away. Sure the man who’d passed it to him had made it sound interesting enough, as soon as he saw the book hanging out of Houjo’s book bag he’d been anxious enough to read it.

But it two pages of this wasn’t nearly as interesting as a science book.

Kouga heard the sheets rustle behind him and Souta’s head slipped over his shoulder, with a dazed expression and closed eyes he’d awaken to followed the strong scent of Kouga, he only had to open his eyes once to see exactly where he was and what he was doing. As best he could make it out. “Kouga?”

“Souta? Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Kouga said.

Souta laid his head on the bed and closed his eyes, burring his head into his mattress. He hadn’t been off his stomach for what seemed like an entire day now, and when he moved he could feel a sizable portion of the pain any contact with his spine would have caused. “Whatcha doing?” His voice was groggy and slow, but curious. Slightly slurred from the pain in his teeth.

“Homework.” Kouga was encouraged by Souta’s interest. Even with the sluggish, slurring pain in his voice, if he was stable enough to take an interest in something aside from his own anguish it was encouraging. “I gotta read this damn book.”

Souta opened his eyes to a blurry world where the edges of forms and objects weren’t sharp and shapes spilled into each other and the blinding light that almost overpowered everything , over exposed film “What’s it about?”

“I don’t know.” Kouga shrugged. “The guy made it sound all cool and interesting.”

“The guy?” Souta inquired. That guy? : Book: Homework: Teacher. “Your teacher?”

“Yeah.”

Souta attributed his undefined and painful vision as remnants of sleep, something he’d awakened from and decided he’d had far too much of. He was bored. Stories were interesting. “Can you read it to me?” He asked.

“Huh?” There was a vague self-consciousness from being asked to put his reading skills on display. What he read in his head didn’t translate to what he read aloud. He always rushed ahead anxiously, rapidly streamed words became streaming reels of pictures and voices and feelings and places. That didn’t happen when he spoke out loud, in class he remembered the one time he’d been called upon to answer a question, it was math. Damn math. Hate math. He couldn’t quite elaborate formulas in his head, he couldn’t associate it to something more concrete, let alone understand it enough to function in it. Ginta, Ginta would be good at this. He’d rambled through it and ended up feeling like an idiot. “Uh…”

“Please.” Souta’s voice was muffled by the sheets his mouth was pressed against.

That position was odd, Kouga rationed it to be suspicious. “What’s wrong with you?”

“My eyes hurt, and my back hurts.” Souta moaned, “I’m bored! Please Kouga please?” He pleaded.

Kouga rolled his eyes and sighed. No way to resist that, not Souta, not when he was like this. “Fine.” Kouga nodded and returned to the first page. And read. Read a story that held no particular relevance to him, that he couldn’t connect to something he already knew. And the words bumbled on, stumbling from time to time, lost other times, and just broke from time to time. A half hour passed, taking most of the bumbling, stumbling, breaks, and a chapter and a half with it. His interest grew a bit more with each page, and the story became more fluid to him, he and Souta became lost in the pages, this world replaced with that one. By medium of Kouga’s words they were spectators.

There was a boy, and a woman, and an old man; a mother and a grandfather. And there was a trip, a lengthy journey that came to an unexpected halt when black ice, an old road, and a weak, rusted road barrier, conspired to send their car tumbling through the forest. Depositing the boy by nearly fatal means in the stomach of the trees and carting the woman and the old man, and the car into the raging currents of a vicious river. So the boy was lost, and alone, and afraid, wondering, and into the path of an injured dog, that had survived amongst larger beast and beasts that had the safety of packs and all the winters, storms, and wild fires the forest could through at him. The boy didn’t know the dog was hurt, for these injuries couldn’t be seen, all he knew was that the dog was fierce and took a liking to his little food and generous affection. The boy and the dog wondered hungry and tired through the forest and came across a wolf, of a pack, with out a pack. The wolf was injured just like the dog was and the boy couldn’t see it, all he saw was the claws and fangs and growls. The wolf also took a liking to the boy’s little food and generous affection, but fought the dog constantly, one of the “safety of packs” the dog a faced in the past. Then a ranger stumbled upon the small pack, he fed the boy and dog and took his own liking to the wolf, and—

“*Cough*” Kouga felt his throat tighten and his mouth dry. The sweat had long since cooled from his overheated body and he now felt a small chill over his bare skin.

Souta, for the first time in an hour and a half, lifted his head and looked at Kouga as best he could. “What’s wrong.” The rude intrusion in the story was like being jarred from a present dream, he wanted to fall asleep again.

“Water.” Kouga waved his hand dismissively, promising to return promptly. Houjo in the living room, shirt discarded, bare feet rooted to the smooth floors and sword held lightly in his hands. Kouga watched him practice undetected, going through his rudimentary slashes and strikes, trying to make them feel natural now so they’d be natural in battle. Admiration, pure admiration. He loved watching Houjo move, it was maturing. Growing in confidence. “Your really good.”

Houjo looked over his shoulder, smiling like he always did. “Heh, heh.” He laughed softly and lay down his sword. “How’s Souta?”

“Not bad.” Kouga said. He turned on the faucet and slipped his head down just enough for his mouth to meet the stream of water. He sucked it in until his stomach was full, then wiped his mouth. Houjo the ranger, it was uncanny really, when Kouga thought about it, he’d never thought about Houjo in that way.

The sky was dimming into sunset and the orange, gold glow shined through the windows like a soft fire. The new light seemed to highlight the pages, and Souta and Kouga returned to sleep, sharing the same dream.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

God it was warm, and it tasted good too, but it was warm. He was hot but this warmed his insides in a different way. “This is really good.” Souta mumbled through slurps of chicken noodle soup, he lay on his stomach, the bowl in one hand and a fork shoving through it in the other. The steam engulfed his face and cleared his sinuses. The best thing about it is he didn’t have to chew that often, and the warm liquid didn’t bother his teeth much. He didn’t open his eyes once, his sense of where he himself and what he was connected too in space had grown finely acute in the past few days.

“I’m glad you like it.” Houjo’s voice shifted into a small gratefulness, Souta didn’t see the dismayed expression on his face as he stood by above the small form stretched out across the bed. He shot a small look over to Inuyasha and Kouga, on the other side of the bed, who returned it. All looking back down at Souta.

Running clearly down Souta’s spine, hard, smooth green scales were growing…no, they’d already grown in, they were healing now. At the bottom of his spine where his tailbone began there was a small growth that was completely covered in scales, it looked like a lump, a tail that the spine scales merged seamlessly into. Souta clearly didn’t know about it, all he knew was that his back hurt, the lower back the most. By the looks each of the exchanged to each other, they all where reluctant to tell him, their collective disinclination made it far harder for any one of them to say anything. “I’m glad your appetite is back.” Houjo said nervously.

Souta lifted his head from the steamy bowl with a wet noodle, partially to remove himself from the heat that was forming sweat on his forehead. “What?” Even with his blurry vision he could see their faces staring back at him, why was everyone staring at him like this? He slurped it into his mouth and swallowed. “What is it?”

“Uh…” Inuyasha scratched his ear sub-consciously, unsure. He looked again to Kouga and Houjo for some cue but only saw his own expression mirrored back at him. “How’s your back feel?”

“Kinda hurts a little. Not as much though.” They’d brought up his back, he was laying on his back, his back was showing, they were looking at his back. “Why, what’s wrong with it?” Therefore, there must have been something strange about his back.

“Scales.” Kouga said, and once he began it was almost natural to keep going without regard to awkwardness. “ You got scales growing, it even kinda looks like a tail too.”

“W-What?” Souta’s face grew a mystified attribute, one that quickly turned to a startle. He arched back and tried to look over his shoulder but the searing pain that pierced along his spine made him immediately withdraw to his former position. “No way!” He shouted in frustration. What was it? “What’s happening to me?” Monster. He would die this horrible disfigured death. What was-, how was this-… Deserving. He did this. It was his own fault. He was afraid and he’d die for it, he was weak and he’d suffer for it.

“Souta it’s not that bad, sure it’s…” Houjo paused, rifling through his mind for the right words. “Kinda strange but-“ He got no farther before Souta sniffled sharply and broke down into trembling sobs.

He continued until he’d exhausted all of his energy and the weight of sleep finally pulled him down. He awakened again when the sun drifted far enough in to the sky to shine through his window and burned an uncomfortable spotlight onto his closed eyelids. He groaned and cracked his eyes just barely, he felt like the light was burning through to the back of his eyes and quickly shut them again. He felt warm arms and a warm body beside him, and between sniffles of a runny nose he could smell the familiar scent of Inuyasha, blindly he turned his head and buried it with in his chest as deep as he could.

He felt Inuyasha’s muscles tense with movement and could hear his head lifting off the bed, “Souta?”

“…the light hurts my eyes.” Souta announced, somehow feeling he had to explain his action..

It wasn’t the action Inuyasha wanted to know about. “Um…” He started, his words paused awkwardly while he searched for the right articulation of what he felt, Souta could imagine the nervous expression on his face almost as vividly as if he were seeing it. Finally he gave up and began to speak, trying to end the uncomfortable silence. “Why’d you cry like that?” Inuyasha was immediately frustrated with himself, he knew the answer to that.

“I’m gonna die.” Souta half whispered in a solemn voice, he felt drained having cried away all of his energy, the raging fear quelled into a simple notion, the almost tidal depression he was drowning in had dwindled into a calm.

Inuyasha scratched his ear and looked away, he felt as though he was being watched though he knew Souta’s eyes were closed. “Souta…”

“It keeps hurting, everything always hurts.” Souta felt Inuyasha’s chest rise and fall with a deep sigh, he felt the warm breath wash over the back of his neck.

“Your not gonna die Souta.”

“…” Those words held little meaning to Souta, how could this not lead to death, how could feeling worse and getting worse and being worse all of the time lead anywhere besides death?”

“Stop doing that.” Inuyasha scoffed. Frustration of being unable to translate what he felt and though intuitively to something he could say equated to frustration towards Souta. “You said you did all of this to be strong, to not be afraid. Well Damnit, here’s your chance.”

Souta forced his eyes open and looked questioningly at Inuyasha for as long as he could stand to keep them open. “…”

“You don’t just wake up one day and stop being afraid, you have to work at it . Sitting here being sorry for yourself ain’t gonna help anyone.” Inuyasha folded his arms and stared out the windows, he felt more comfortable being brash like this. He never had to describe anything or felt frustrated needing profoundly to tell someone how he felt, or what he thought but being unable to do so.

“But how?” The question Souta had been wrestling with for so long. How was he supposed to do that?! “I can’t do it by myself.”

“You’ve done it already, I’ve seen you.” Inuyasha told him. “Just do it.”

“I can’t, I keep thinking—“

“Then stop thinking about it, every time you start, just start thinking about something else.”

Souta was amazed at how simple Inuyasha made it sound. “It’s not that easy for me.”

“Hell, It’s not easy for anybody.” Inuyasha smirked cyclically. “Just act like your brave then. If you do what your afraid to do, what the hell does it matter if your scared or not.”

“…” Souta couldn’t answer him, he still made it sound simple. Maybe it was.

“You don’t need to be brave, you need will power. “ Inuyasha announced almost with pride at his realization, his face was a mirror of his voice.

“Will?”

Inuyasha nodded. “Yeah, Will. You don’t need to be brave as long as you have to will not to be afraid. Hell, if you just have the will to *act* brave, nothing else really matters. If you keep doing what your afraid to then your not gonna be afraid of it anymore.”

Souta almost heard the tinge of experience Inuyasha had sometimes when he spoke. No, he’d never known Inuyasha to be afraid, the very idea that Inuyasha had ever been seemed too abstract to believe. “Really?”

“Yeah, so you can start working on it now. Stop saying your gonna die, you’re gonna be fine.” Inuyasha said it with such confidence, in such a passive manner, Souta was taken in enough to believe him.

He nodded and laid his head against Inuyasha’s chest again. He felt a baseline of anxiety residing in his queasy stomach, heavy chest and the heavy, stuffed head and a fear that made him believe death was coming closer with each second. He’d just think of something different, and keep his mind there as best he could. He didn’t want too, it was hard not to simply exist in his fears. But that was what will was all about.

Souta spent the better part of his hour and a half awake trying to curb his thoughts. He couldn’t will away the fear no matter how hard he tried, though he never really could, so he’d been glad to hear that he didn’t have to. The rest of time he was bored, extremely bored. Eventually the boredom coaxed him back to sleep.

It seemed far too soon when he felt his body convulse and it felt as though it went cold, as if all of his blood had turned to ice, for one, tense second. He knew before he could even form the thought what was coming, and the intense anxiety and fear that flooded him made his heart jump. In a burst, more like an eruption really, the familiar pain washed over him, his entire body. Will! Had to be strong!

He almost screamed but he clinched and drew in a sharp breath of air instead, tears ran down the side of his face and his body began to shake. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t scream, don’t scream. His chest seemed as though there was a heavy weight inside of him, pressing down, trying to tear out. Souta coughed out his next breath and bit down into the mattress, he wished this were over! He wished he’d just die already! He didn’t want to suffer like this! No, Will, stop thinking like that, think of something else. Pain! How could he possibly think of anything else?! A sharp, scratchy sensation rose up the back of his throat and another cough forced it’s way out of him, and into the sheet, staining it red. Screw the thinking, just don’t scream, he could never stop himself from thinking anyway, just don’t scream, just don’t scream…

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

It was late probably, he didn’t know anymore, he hadn’t opened his eyes for a while. He didn’t know . He simply lay there, his face buried in his pillow, taking in deep, audible swallows of air, he would have been surprised if everyone couldn’t hear him. It wasn’t the easiest way to breathe but oddly enough he didn’t care. Inuyasha was no longer beside him, he’d left sometime ago, probably thinking he was asleep. It was fine, Inuyasha was too hot anyway.

After going through that pain for what seemed to be hours, his sense of time had temporarily evaded him, a sense of peace came over him. He couldn’t completely describe the feeling of being to tired to care about anything, but he could liken it to being empty. Besides the lack of energy and motivation, It was kind of nice. He couldn’t return to sleep though, not after that, not that he cared if he did.

His mouth had hurt the most, even now his gums were sore and a pressure rested at the bottom of his lower lip, he didn’t feel like examining it. His arms were weak with throbbing pain, as if he’d exerted them, it was hard and painful to move them, so he lay dormant on his stomach, his arms lifelessly at his side.

Footsteps.

Souta followed them with his ears and tried to sense where they were in the room, something he’d been practicing at ever since is vision began to blur. The person didn’t speak, he wasn’t sure if he was right, almost grudgingly Souta had to lift his head and look back over his shoulder as best he could , the small pain wasn’t as bad as it had once been and he could ignore it to a point. “?” Against the blurry background of the world he could see one thing sharply and clearly. “It’s you…” It was hard not recognize the first person you talked to that wasn’t actually there. It was the wolf pup from Kouga’s tribe, and had he been something a bit more threatening, Souta might have been completely jarred from his calm state.

After a few seconds of staring incredulously, the burn of sunlight (apparently it wasn’t late) became too much to take and he shut his eyes. “What are you doing here?” Completely confounded.

“I was looking for you.” The familiar voice said, Souta could hear his tail cutting through the air.

“Me? Why me.” Souta heard the boy come to the side of the bed and stand over him, Souta turned his head and forced his eyes open again to get another glance at him before he had to shut them again. Frustration. “I thought you couldn’t leave home, I thought you didn’t know anything else.”

“I know you.”

“But…why are you looking for me?”

“We’re friends aren’t we?” The boy said, quite contently.

“Yeah, I guess.” Souta agreed skeptically. “But I thought you didn’t want to leave your home?’

“I had to find you, I was really worried.” The wolf pup said. “There’s this big snake, it’s looking for you, I think it wants to eat you.”

“Big snake?” Familiarity. Souta thought about it for a few seconds, then he knew why it was familiar. With a tired groan he said, “Oh…I think it already got me.” How could one forget the site of a large snake stretching out of them, then the subsequent feeling of pulling it back in. “You were really worried about me?” Souta found that the most interesting of all.

“Yeah.” The boy nodded though it couldn’t be seen. Souta could feel him lean over him, he was covered in a faint energy, like the feeling of one’s body heat and his own bouncing back when someone got close. But this wasn’t body heat, it wasn’t even particularly warm. “What?” Souta looked back over his shoulder and forced eyes open for a peek at the boy, he could only gain a snapshot before the light flooded him.

“Yup, I can see it, it’s in there.”

“What? What’s in there?”

“The snake.” The boy laughed. “It looks more like you ate him.”

Ate him? …Souta began to wonder, his mind echoing those two words. Ate him, maybe that’s exactly what he had done, in a sense at least. It was a lofty thought, he found some childish humor in it. And in a somewhat dark way he kind of liked the idea, at lest he felt like he understood what was happening to him now even if it may not have been that simple. The more he understood it, the less anxious he felt. His mind drifted off, spawning a million ruminations relating what was happening to him to eating. “Heh heh.” He laughed softly, the first time in what felt like forever. “I’m surprised you recognized me.” He joked, Acceptance.

He could feel the boy’s eyes trailing down his back. “There’s no way I couldn’t recognize you.” He a laughed.

Well, he was the only one who could see him. “I guess so.”

“Who are you talking to?” A completely different voice erupted between them.

Souta flinched and quickly turned his head with eyes half lidded, as wide as he could get them. He could barely make out the blurry image of Houjo. “Uh…um…” Houjo couldn’t see him, of course Houjo couldn’t see him. “I…Uh…he” He was gonna think he was crazy if he told him. No, no he wouldn’t. They knew he could see stuff, they believed him right? “Never mind.” Souta gave up on explaining it, as he often did.

“Well…” Houjo wasn’t sure what he was missing, he felt from Souta’s reaction he was interrupting something. “Do you feel up to taking a shower?”

Souta’s expression lifted. “Yeah.” He nodded. “I’d love to.” He felt sweaty and grimy and itchy from all of the skin pealing off him constantly, the chance to finally wash all of that off would be the best thing that has happened to him since all of this started…well, the second best.

Houjo wrapped his arms around him and slowly began to pull him off the bed, the pain wasn’t as great as Souta had thought it would be. Then the older boy slowly eased Souta down on to his feet, and a burst of searing pain formed in his back and his chest. Souta tried to hold on to Houjo for balance but his arms were too weak and tired to reach that far. “Can you stand on your own?” Houjo inquired.

“I... can stand.” Souta nodded. He could stand. Houjo took a step forward and lead him, Souta took a step and faltered and hissed from the pain. It seemed to get easier when he knew just how much pain their would be, wasn’t easy enough though, the pain became too great and he stopped and fell blindly onto Houjo’s legs. He didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want to talk let alone admit he couldn’t take the pain.

“That’s ok.” Houjo knelt down, slipped his arms around his back and picked him up. Souta didn’t decline, he rested his head on Houjo’s shoulder and stared blankly at the world rolling past him, feeling the warmth of the larger frame and the rolling movement of his steps. The older boy’s words were distant and unreal to him, the sound of his voice faded out of reality as if it never existed. What he saw didn’t feel real, except the wolf pup, nothing he saw felt real, he didn’t feel real. Maybe it was just a side effect, maybe he was just losing his mind, he thought. But this felt real, the contact, the motion.

Houjo set him down on the ground and leaned over the side of the tub, Souta vaguely heard the sound of water gushing from the facet, he could imagine Houjo slipping his hand under the rush and adjusting the temperature, he could see it all through his mind better then he ever could have before. He felt a soft tremor through the floor in a rhythm, growing sharper with each new quake. Footsteps maybe? But he didn’t hear any? That’s what it kinda felt like, he rationalized, that had to be it. He heard the door open and finally was able to match a sound with the vibration, he could almost feel the weight by the subtle strain on the floor.

“Whatcha doin’?” Inuyasha’s voice asked curiously. Souta could vaguly smell his scent, he could almost feel the heat radiating off of him, he could certainly hear the heavy breaths in his voice. Training? Fighting with Kouga maybe?

“Giving Souta a bath.” Houjo said, Souta heard him running his hand softly through the gathering water, from the way it sloshed it was about halfway full, maybe more? Houjo paused, seeming to realize the predicament putting a weak Souta in a tub full of water posed, the boy most likely would be fine but… “Actually, Inuyasha, you could use a bath too.” Houjo said with the twinge of realization in his voice.

“Hey.” Inuyasha grunted in annoyance.

“No, no, I said that wrong.” Houjo rubbed the back of his head and lifted his other hand in surrendering. “I meant that you should take one with him.” He clarified. “Cause, you know.” Souta was sure Houjo made some indicating gesture directed at him, and he was sure it was his condition Houjo was indicating.

“Oh.” Inuyasha could be heard shifting softly, probably anxious.

The sound of rushing water ceased, it must have been full. “Call me if you need anything.” Houjo said, Souta cracked his eyes open to see his blurry form leave, the sound of his movements were distant, the vague figure didn’t seem real.

“Ready?” Inuyasha asked.

Souta nodded and began to take off his pants, quickly unbuttoning them and pushing them and his boxers down in one push, painfully maneuvering his legs to pushed them aside. The pain felt real, but the fact that it wasn’t as strong as it once had been was what didn’t seem to register. He felt Inuyasha slip one arm around his back and the other underneath his legs and lift him off the ground, he held on to his shoulders while Inuyasha stepped into the tub and slowly eased down in to the water. It was warm, he liked that, he could already feel some of the filth lifting off of him. Inuyasha set him down in front of him, between his legs, and Souta instinctively planted his hands on the ground and slowly crossed his legs. The pain was bad, but the need to stretch out the stiffness was greater.

Inuyasha was silent, probably nervous, while he began slowly and carefully wash Souta’s back, carefully avoiding the line of scales down his side, watching skin peel off as if being scraped. “Hmm…”

It felt good, as if scratching an excruciatingly intense itch. His mouth fell open and his head drop, that felt real. He couldn’t tell for sure though. “Hey…Inuyasha.” Souta half mumbled in a voice devoid of energy, or life for that matter.

“Huh?”

“Am…I alive?”

There was a silence, had he said that? Did he actually say it? He wasn’t sure. If no one heard it and he wasn’t sure then what he said couldn’t have been real. Maybe he should repeat himself?

“What the hell are you talking about?” Inuyasha’s sharp, curt voice nearly made Souta flinch. That felt real.

“I…can’t tell.” Souta said, his voice still without energy because he couldn’t find any to spare.

“What do you mean you can’t tell? Your sitting here talking to me ain’t you?” Inuyasha was confused by Souta’s question, how could someone not know if they were alive? Inuyasha reached around under Souta’s arms and began to wash his chest.

“I don’t really know.” Souta shrugged. “Nothing really feels real, nothing sounds real. I can say something and I’m not sure if I really said it right after. It’s weird. It’s kinda like I’m a ghost.”

“Huh?” Inuyasha felt the skin flaking off of Souta’s chest, and he scrubbed until he felt the flaky sliding become rough and no more skin was shed. “I never heard anything like that before.”

“So…is this real?” Souta asked. “Is this a dream or something?”

His question was met by a sharp pain caused by a squeeze to the tail like growth on his lower back, He flinched and let out a startled yelp, it even twitched. “Did that feel real?” Inuyasha asked, satisfied.

Pain was the only thing that felt undoubtedly real. He nodded softly. “Yeah.”

That was funny, oddly funny, Souta thought, laughing. He felt a bit more valid now, grounded. Inuyasha began washing his stomach, rubbing in a circular motion, calm, rhythm, relaxing. Souta focused on the feeling, becoming distracted enough to drift backwards and before he knew it his head was underwater resting against Inuyasha’s stomach. Before he could sit up himself, Inuyasha grabbed a hold of him and pulled him up. “Ow!” He cried out, arms reaching out to try and grasp his back but unable to reach.

With soaked hair matted to the sides of his face and soap bubbles covering his head, Inuyasha didn’t hold back his laughter. Souta quickly wiped his eyes only to have water stream into them again from his hair, he didn’t open them, though turned his head back towards Inuyasha anyway. “You falling asleep?”

“That wasn’t funny.” Souta said defensively.

“Better wake up before you drown.” Inuyasha said with clear amusement, his words were promptly followed by the sound displaced water, then a wet rush followed when Inuyasha scooped up and dumped two handfuls of water on his head. A somewhat humorous yelp of surprise was drawn from him. “It’s kinda funny, this whole not opening your eyes thing.” Inuyasha said, with much delight. “It’s so easy to spring stuff on you.”

“Hey!” Souta plunged his hands into the water and thrust them upward, launching a spray of water over his head into Inuyasha’s face, a good amount of it fell back on to him. Inuyasha retaliated by pushing a wave of water across Souta’s back. Souta, with pain, quickly grabbed the edges of the tub and turned himself around to face the Hanyou, not hesitating to drag his hand across the water and send a splash of water flying at Inuyasha. The watery bout continued for a few blurry, exhilarating moments, until Souta’s arms began to ache from the strain.

“Why don’t you just open your eyes?” Inuyasha asked absentmindedly, his soapy fingers digging down to the tangled locks of Souta’s hair and scrubbing his scalp.

Souta was lost the rhythmic motions, feeling a batch of soapy foam roll down his cheeks. “Huh?” He asked, as if awakening from a dream.

“Why don’t I ever see you open your eyes anymore?” He repeated, a bit more curtly.

“Oh…It hurts too much.” He said, “Everything’s just so blurry and bright and intense, it just burns.” He dropped his head when he felt Inuyasha’s hands leave his head and heard them splash into the water. His eyes were kept squeezed tightly while Inuyasha poured the water down on his head, rinsing away the soap and everything else with it.

“Hn.” Inuyasha nodded. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Kinda, but it’s ok.” Souta lifted his head, and even with out his eyes Inuyasha could see a the light in his expression. The boy reached out and laid his hand on top of Inuyasha’s head, “I can still get along with out it.” His hand felt it’s way to Inuyasha’s ear and began rubbing his finger tips against them. Inuyasha didn’t move, he didn’t protest, he didn’t feel nearly as awkward about this motion knowing Souta could barely see him and wasn’t watching anyways. Souta’s other hand made it’s way to Inuyasha’s other ear and he felt them with a fascination he couldn’t quite identify. He reciprocated Inuyasha’s actions, washing Inuyasha’s hair as Inuyasha had washed his, Inuyasha rested his hands in his lap, lowering his head for Souta to better reach.

He was admittedly uncomfortable being touched like this, but he stifled his objects and closed his eyes, it was easy to only focus on contact he was receiving, it was easy, it was comfortable, like falling asleep. Everywhere Inuyasha washed Souta, Souta in turn washed him. The boy fumbled along by touch and memory, Scrubbing along Inuyasha’s chest with a concentration and calm he hadn’t felt in what seemed like ages. It was contiguous, Inuyasha held Souta’s arm and scrubbed away the sweat and peeling skin and was relaxed. It was a comfortable silence, filled only with breathing and the sounds of water.

When there was nothing left to clean Inuyasha lifted him out of the tub and dried him off. With as little assistance as possible, Souta put on the clothes Houjo had left behind for him, taking special care when putting on his shirt. “How does it look?” He asked, holding the back of his shirt up over the small growth at the bottom of his back.

“Like a tail.” Inuyasha said discerningly while he rambled around the bathroom for something to cover himself with besides the wet towel he’d just dryed Souta with. It seemed the pile of clothing he saw hanging over the door were meant for him, but he’d never seen them before, and they didn’t seem like Houjo’s. A pair of kaki pants, a white t-shirt and a red and black flannel, they were bigger then Houjo’s size, maybe they once belonged to his father?

”Hm…” Souta reached behind him and carefully felt the length of it, it was longer then before. If Inuyasha didn’t seem worried about it then maybe he shouldn’t have been.

The clothing fit nearly perfectly, he ignored the inconsistencies. When they were finished Inuyasha carried Souta back to his room where the sheets and covers had been changed and any untidiness had been cleaned. ‘Houjo.’ Who would do these things if Houjo wasn’t here? Inuyasha wondered, this place wouldn’t look as nice, or smell as nice or probably wouldn’t be hospitable at all without Houjo taking care of them. Inuyasha smiled a silent, grateful smile as he laid Souta down. The boy was half asleep by then, he held on to Inuyasha’s shoulders. “Inuyasha.” He called out weakly. “Can you stay with me?”

“Sure.”

! - ! - !
! - ! – !

“Hey Souta, wake up.”

Houjo’s voice pervaded in a soft, easing tone. Souta groaned, waking up was rarely pleasant, his energy was non existent and his motivation had left with it. He felt sluggish, a blanket of weight rested over him making movements harder, and his head was cloudy and fuzzy on attention.

“Souta…Souta…” Houjo cooed. His voice was comforting, Souta decided he liked Houjo’s voice, it was nice. He didn’t want to respond to it, it just seemed like something nice to fall back asleep to. The voice, however, didn’t allow him to go back to sleep, it kept nudging and nagging at him until he had no choice but to open his eyes.

Without having to think about it he cracked his eyes open a cautious amount, “Houjo? Turn on the light.” He groaned dozily , there was no pain when there was no light.

“What do you mean?” He heard Houjo say.

“I can’t see anything.” Souta slowly lifted his hand and drop it on his forehead.

“The lights are on.”

There was an empty silence. Souta forced his eyes open completely, propping his elbows behind him and sat upright, easing his way off of his tail. “What do you mean?” An anxiety was slowly growing and he felt the weight of sleep melting away.

“The lights are on, it’s the middle of the day…” Souta could hear the twinge of uncertainty and worry in his voice, it caught Houjo off guard, and it made Souta all the more anxious.

“No, no way.” Souta shook his head in disbelief and began blinking rapidly, as if he could dislodge some obstruction blocking his view.

“Calm down Souta.” Souta felt Houjo’s hands on his shoulder and he could feel the faint heat from his body as well as his own reflecting back on to him. He could sense Houjo’s entire body from the heat. “Just take it easy!”

“What’s wrong with me!?” Souta rubbed his eyes feverously until they began to ache, and still he saw nothing. “No! No! No!” He screamed, slamming his fist down on to the bed over and over, his body peeked with an burning, desperate energy, Why! Why couldn’t he catch a break! Why was it always him! Why did things always get worse and worse! Why was he always so afraid! He could vaguely feel his anger bouncing back at him through the mattress, the sheet and covers were warm, not as warm as Houjo.

“Souta, Souta!”

Souta’s arms were suddenly obstructed by a binding force, soft but firm, and he felt something warm and solid at his side. He struggled against it, it didn’t occur to him what it could be, only anger and frustration. He screamed, pushing against the soft vice, pounding his head against the firm structure. “Shh…Shh…” He heard Houjo’s soft, easing voice whisper, so close to his ear. “Calm down, it’s alright, you’ll be alright.” He repeated over and over. Souta realized the binding was Houjo’s arms holding him and the firm structure was Houjo’s chest. The older boy was warm, warmer when he close, he could feel his heart pounding and his chest rise and fall with short, quick breaths, audible in his whispers. He was just as afraid as he was.

Souta threw his arms around Houjo and squeezed him tightly, the overwhelming fear and vigorous anger slowly expounded in quiet sobs. He felt the ghostlike warmth of sunlight at the side of his face, he felt the softness of the bed underneath him, how it subtly caved toward the ground in his weight. Houjo’s breath washed over the back of his neck like the ebb and flow of the tides, he focused on the sporadic rhythm and the pound of his heart. Houjo was scared, he thought to himself, he didn’t want to make Houjo afraid, he didn’t want the boy to worry about him.

He cried until he fell back into a light sleep in Houjo’s arms, holding the hope that he’d wake up again and he’d be able to see again and everything would be the way it was. Hope was nowhere to be found, he was stirred into consciousness by a severe sensation of lightheadedness, something that seemed eternally coupled with dizziness. “Unnn…” He groaned, and clinched his head. When he opened his eyes to only darkness he was immediately disoriented. The next thing he knew he was weightless with nothing underneath him, falling through space.

Two arms slipped under his arms and there was gravity once more while they reeled him up and pulled him on to the bed. “Souta.” It was Houjo.

“I feel…really dizzy.” Souta slurred out.

“Just be still.” Houjo laid him down on his stomach, and Souta put his head down and clinched his eyes shut, trying to stabilize his spinning world. It was freighting almost, to be spinning in the dark, at the very least nauseating. Where was he? His room, it had to be his room, his bed smelled the same, he could faintly smell himself, trace hints of Inuyasha, and the fresh detergent Houjo used to wash it the other day. He heard birds and wind and trees from the windows outside, though something was obstructing the sound one spot, someone had to be standing on the side of the bed in front of the window, nothing else could be there beside a person. He couldn’t smell them from here, who was it? He focused on that spot, maybe they’d make a sound and he could figure it out.

“Houjo…” Souta called out.

The mattress dipped slightly and Souta could feel the springs vibrate with a silent creak, the cooler air from the window was blocked in one spot. “Yes?” Sitting next to him.

“You said I was gonna be alright…right?”

Houjo didn’t hesitate in his answer. “Yeah.” A hand, Houjo’s hand, rested on the center of his back, it didn’t hurt, the warmth felt good. “It’s going to be fine. “

Souta heard the soft wash air being swam through in soft beats. That sound was coming from the place where he determined the other figure to be. He could picture the entire world outside of him in his mind, though the sounds he heard, through what he smelled and what contact and heat he sensed, he could swear he could taste them through the air. The map of the world in his head was as dark as his eyes but the mental representation that constructed itself was amazingly keen, it felt accurate. That swish, he’d heard it before, only one thing consistently made that sound, Kouga’s tail. “Is it…”

“Hey Souta.” Kouga finally spoke. “How do you feel now?”

There was a great satisfaction in figuring that out without looking, he decided to try other things. “Alright I guess…” Souta said. He planted his hands on the softness in front of him and pushed himself up on to his knees, he could feel the air rolling off his back as he moved through it. It was tepid air, day time air. A spot of warmth shined on the side of his face, sunlight. “It doesn’t hurt anymore .” Souta grabbed on to the edge of the bed and began climbing off of it. He felt Houjo’s hands grab on to his waist, worried no doubt. Souta laid his hand atop Houjo’s “I got it.” Houjo carefully let go, and Souta climbed out of the bed, standing up strait without event. “I don’t feel sick or anything.”

Souta stretched his arms high above his head, but the stiffness that constricted his entire body and hampered his body wouldn’t be so easily loosened. For the first time he actually felt the growth in his back, he could feel every inch of it, and if he tightened the muscles of his back he could even move it a little. Still hurt some though. “That’s good I guess.” Houjo said. He heard Houjo move and he followed his footsteps around the side of his bed to his back.

“Hungry?” Kouga asked.

Souta turned towards him, or at least he hoped he was facing the right direction, and nodded. “Yeah.”

Kouga was all to happy to oblige. The kitchen grew warm, the air was thick with the smell of breakfast in skillets and pots and pans, the static like sounds of sizzling and frying made it all the more enticing. Souta sat at the table, his arms folded on the surface and his chin rested on his arms. He could feel his pants, which hung down somewhat awkwardly to accommodate the tail that had grown there, rubbing against the bottom of the new flesh. Inuyasha was next to him, his body heat was lost in the warmth from the oven but he could smell his scent, and hear him clearly. God… He could taste the food from here, he could actually taste it as if it was inside of his mouth. He opened his mouth wide and took in a deep breath, his tongue slipping over his front lip slightly.

“Whoa.” Inuyasha’s voice erupted, and his hand suddenly cuffed his chin, Souta could feel his claws against his skin,

“What?”

“Did you see this?”

Souta glared his sightless eyes into a scowl. “That’s not funny.”

“No! I mean before…*this* happened. “ Inuyasha corrected. “Don’t you feel that at least?”

“What? Feel what?” Souta lifted his hand to his mouth and felt his gums and his teeth… There was something different about it, his incisors had grown from small somewhat dull teeth to relatively long, sharp fangs that lurched forward just slightly enough to stretch over his bottom teeth. Not enough the reach the bottom of his lip though. “W-What does it look like?” He asked franticly. This was why his teeth had hurt so badly.

He didn’t see the expression on Inuyasha’s face, so it was hard to get a sense of what he really may have been thinking. “Don’t worry about it, I barely noticed it till you opened your mouth like that.” Inuyasha said, rather discerningly. Maybe it was nothing? Was it really noticeable? Was Inuyasha just telling him that? He wished he could see! “Ohhhh.” Souta dropped his head on to the table again, he hated this!

“Don’t worry about it.” Souta heard Kouga’s voice and his footsteps echoing closer, he could faintly feel the vibrations of his steps through his bare feet on the wooden floor and he could see the depth of the room in his head without a shred of illumination. Kouga’s hand slipped under his forehead and Souta felt his head being pried off the table, Souta felt a wave of rising heat and the smell of food underneath him. “Your not in any pain, hell this is first time you’ve been out of bed in two weeks! You’ll be alright.” A chair was scraped against the ground in front of him and he heard Kouga sit down, he could faintly smell him, he was hotter than the plate underneath. “Besides, you barely opened your eyes in a whole week.”

“I guess.” Souta put his hand down beside the plate and he heard the fork resonate with the vibration and he immediately sensed exactly where it was in space and he grabbed a hold of it. Once he took bite and his mouth exploded with taste, one morsel seemed to stir his dormant hunger like a flame flaring up. He wasted no time scoffing it down, “This is really good!” Souta exclaimed, looking up towards where he thought Kouga still was.

“Eating like that I’d swear your part wolf.” When in reality he was standing right behind him. Souta felt disappointed in himself, he was so busy eating that he didn’t notice, and he’d been doing so well. “More?”

“Please.” Souta nodded. His ears followed Kouga as he prepared another plate, feeling his footsteps through the ground. He’d never experienced the world like this, these representations were never possible when he closed his eyes before, he could *feel* the world. He took every stimuli, every minute detail, every tremor, and related it to a dark map, the rest of it was filled in with memory. Kouga laid another plate in front of him and he ate until he felt as though every inch of his stomach had been filled and he couldn’t take anymore in, though he’d tried.

“Damn kid, slow down.” Was all Kouga said.

Souta spent the next few hours in silence, he sat around for a while, moving from his bed, to the stairs, to the living room, to the kitchen every once and a while with either Inuyasha, Kouga, or Houjo in toe. They all eventually began to see the reality in the situation, that the veil of darkness wouldn’t magically lift. They were surprised by how well Souta was coping. “What am I doing right now?” Kouga asked, Souta sat on the stairs with his hands in his lap, he tilted his head back and looked in Kouga’s direction. Was there any need for him to do this now that he couldn’t see him?

“I don’t know.” Souta shrugged, staring at Kouga’s scent and sound. He heard Kouga make a discouraged whimper.

“Where am I?” Inuyasha asked. Souta wasn’t so sure either of them grasped the nature of this activity Houjo had started in. The things they asked him to do couldn’t be that simple, maybe they just asked it wrong.

“I can hear your voice.” Souta grunted with mild annoyance, he hated the fact that they were watching him and he couldn’t see it.

“Alright then.” Inuyasha said confidently, “What am I holding up?” Souta heard Inuyasha’s hand rest on something, the soft mechanical vibration that drifted through the air told him that it was hard, but not as hard as metal. The silence in the room was his advantage, he could hear every inch the object plow through the air, he immediately got a sense of how long it was, and what it was made of.

“That’s your sword.” Souta told him, sheathed of course.

“Pretty good.” Inuyasha said, he could hear a slight amazement in his voice, and Souta was pleased with himself.

“How about this?” Kouga asked. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to hear Kouga pick it up or move it so he had no idea what it was. Though, Kouga was close and he could feel through his body heat exactly where he was holding it.

“I couldn’t hear it.” Souta said. “ Move it around a little.” Souta heard him move it and he heard how the air moved around the object and how Kouga’s body heat was blocked by it’s form, giving him a general idea of it’s shape. It was large, square maybe. He could faintly smell paper, he could *taste* paper when he opened his mouth, even though it wasn’t particularly close. “It’s your book Kouga…no…” It was too large to be a small book, it moved through the air bulkily when Kouga moved it, it had to be a text book. “It’s Houjo’s book, his school book.” Those were the only books Houjo had here.

“That is pretty good.” Kouga nodded. Souta smiled to himself, he liked the approval he heard in their voices, he even liked the attention, it made him feel better far more then it made him feel self-conscious. The one thing he immediately hated was not being able to make out their eyes and expressions.
“I got something for you.” Houjo sounded confident, he could be sure Houjo would pick something a bit more challenging. The room was optimally silent when Houjo lifted the object off the ground, he was lucky enough to get some residual vibration through the ground but it was only enough to tell him it was dense, and had weight behind it. He could barely hear it being lifted, not enough to distinguish anything, he was too far.

“I can’t really tell, your too far.” Souta said. “It’s a little heavy, short, it sounds like metal.”

“Right, right, and right. “

“I guess you don’t want to drop it do you?” He asked.

“Nah…not really.” Houjo laughed.

Souta pushed himself up off of the stairs and landed on the ground out of intention, he crawled towards where he’d heard Houjo’s voice and stopped when he felt the cool of Houjo’s body over shadowing the sun. “Could you move it around a little.” He was sure Houjo probably had an amused look on his face, but that was the good thing about not being able to see, he didn’t see it, so he could pretend it didn’t exist and not care.

“Sure.” Houjo agreed with laugher in his voice, Souta heard him lift the object up far out of his reach, and shake it slightly.

“Awww, you made it too easy.“ Souta heard the metal parts shifting around just slightly, he could see the outline in his head, he could hear a small part dangling, the lens cap. “It’s your camera.”

“Souta, that’s amazing .” Souta heard Houjo sit down in front of him, with a close enough proximity to feel his body heat with out inhibitions. Heat, it’d become his lifeline, fledgling instincts were maturing in his head, he’d bound heat into a new sense of itself and perceived it in a way he never could before. He found himself moving towards heat, and over the next few days he found himself seeking it more and more. Most of his time was spent coupled next to Inuyasha, especially after training or ‘sparing’ with Kouga, he was sure he was the only one calling it that. Inuyasha would be overheated and drenched in his own sweat and scent, it wasn’t always pleasant but he felt safe being around something familiar he didn’t have to see. Heat was light. Other times he’d sit near Kouga while the wolf read to him, he’d find himself sitting near Kouga at first and somehow find himself curled up next to him.

Ironically, it was uncomfortable for him, as safe as he was in the warm, it was cool he longed for. As the days past he became bolder and bolder in his exploration as he became more comfortable, or acquainted more accurately, with his condition. His wondering generally ended up in the basement, shrouded in depression, sitting in a corner somewhere. And to think, he used to be afraid to come down here, he used to be fearful of the dark, now it didn’t matter. “Come on Souta.” Inuyasha prodded one afternoon. “What’s the use sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?” It was a little warmer now, maybe the light was on. Yeah, of course it was on, Inuyasha could still see.

“I’m not feeling sorry for myself.” Souta grumbled with annoyance, he wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, he thought to himself, but he was feeling angry at Inuyasha for bothering him, especially about this particular matter.

“Then why are you sitting in the basement in the dark?”

“What does it matter, it’s all the same!” Souta shouted back at him. From the sound of Inuyasha’s voice and the feel of his breath he’d guess that Inuyasha was crouching down next to him, he didn’t even have to pay attention to his body heat.

“It’s not! And your getting along just fine, so stop sitting here and go do something.”

“Do what?!” Souta retorted. “What can I do?!”

“Damnit Souta! Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Your always doing that, your always being so scared and acting all helpless! Why don’t your get off you ass and see what you can do!”

Souta opened his eyes and blinked, then lowered his head and looked away. Even without being able to use his eyes he still looked at people when they talked to him and when he spoke with them, out of habit. “And…go where?”

Souta was sure Inuyasha had made some kind of uncertain gesture . “Where do you want to go?”

Souta closed his eye and dropped his head. “I wanna go outside.” And having spoken this he immediately became defensive, immediately tearing down the impracticality in his tawdry ambition before anyone else could. “But what’s the point? I can’t do anything, with my luck I’ll get hit by a car.”

“You’ll be fine, your getting around pretty good on your own..” Inuyasha’s hand found it’s way to Souta’s hair with a soft touch, and not so softly pulled him on to his feet. “ Let’s go.”

“Aw, aw, aw! What do you mean?” Souta followed the tug on his hair until Inuyasha let go. Inuyasha didn’t lead him, he simply walked ahead and Souta navigated his way to the front door with out incident. He head Inuyasha walking ahead and followed him outside. The difference was immediate, he could feel wind, not just air moving, he could feel the cool current, he liked it. The spot light on his back was a warm beam of heat, and he was flooded with sounds. Trees rustled around him like invisible walls, he placed his bare feet on the stone ground of the courtyard and he couldn’t feel as many vibrations, and everything mingled together in a decidedly loud combination of noise. The wind drastically cut his perception of heat, most have his previous ways of navigation lost their coherence, he felt lost.

“How am I supposed to find my way out here?” Souta ran towards Inuyasha and grabbed on to his leg, because if he held on to Inuyasha he would be safe, he wouldn’t get lost, of course he’d be alright.

Inuyasha grabbed his hands and pushed him off. “Didn’t I tell you you’d be fine?”

“But.”

“Listen to me.” Souta could hear Inuyasha kneel down, he could feel his heat, his presence. He laid his hand on his shoulder and Souta could tell he was looking into his eyes, so he figured he’d better open them. “I said you’d be fine, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

Souta grabbed Inuyasha’s arm. “But~”

“You’ll be fine.” Inuyasha spoke softer this time, his voice was reassuring, Souta liked that voice. “Ok, You’ll be fine, so don’t worry…Let go of me.”

“Uh…” Souta slowly opened his hand and let it drop to his side, and Inuyasha was gone, at lest it seemed so at first but he could hear him standing behind him. It was colder when he was by himself, he looked around out of habit, as if he could still see, and took a step forward.

! - ! - !
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Insomnia hadn’t been a frequent occurrence as of late, Souta hadn’t had trouble getting to sleep, in fact it had come all to easily. Tonight was different, and if there was any sign that he was getting better this was it, at least to him. His sleeping problems had returned. His mind was always too distracted to find peace, at least not immediately, unless his body was stressed with some strenuous tasks during the day he’d lay between hour and a half and two hours doing nothing.

Souta groaned and writhed around in bed, the room was hot, and the covers hung halfway off his waist. He couldn’t bring himself to discard them completely, sleeping in a bed somehow didn’t feel as comfortable on top of the covers as they did under them, even if it was 90 degrees. At least that’s what it felt like. He opened his eyes, out of some encoded habit rather then use, and sat upright with another groan. Water, he needed water, Souta withdrew the covers completely and threw his legs over the side of the bed, water would remove the dryness in throat, water would cool him down, he needed water. Something, he thought, had to replace all of this sweat.

He moved with heavy footsteps toward the bathroom, able to feel the sweat coating his back and the soaked shirt now that it rubbed uncomfortably against his back. Souta paused in the middle of the hall to strip it off and toss it aside, deciding to find it later. He took another step and it was as if he’d activated some kind of switch. “?” He could suddenly smell water, fresh water. ‘What is that?’ He thought to himself, was he imagining this? Maybe someone left some water running? No, tap water couldn’t possibly smell like this.

It was all around him.

A rush of cool, moist air brushed against his chest, towards the direction of the bathroom. Maybe the window in Kagome’s room was open? Wait…, that sound? Water, he heard the water now. He heard water flowing, water sloshing softly. What in the world…he took careful steps towards the bathroom, someone must have left something running. He didn’t feel any water under his feet yet so~! “!!”

Souta barely had time to cry out with surprise when he found no floor under his next step. Falling. His face struck water instead of ground and sunk. “!!” Water! Water! He clinched his eyes shut and clamped his mouth, don’t breath! What was happening to him?! Where was he? It wasn’t a puddle, he was submerged. His ears were filled with the wet, muffled murmurs of water. Sinking! He pried his eyes open, struggling to hold the half breath he’d managed to seize. Drowning! He was drowning! He couldn’t hold it for long, Help!

…Blue…

He could see blue, he could see the water. He was falling face down and he could see the water darken as it went deeper. He rolled on to his back and saw the bright surface, he saw the rays of light streaming down. He couldn’t breathe! Air, Air! He squirmed and clamped his hands over his mouth, but a gasp forced it’s way out in the end. He was so afraid he trembled as he felt the water pour in, but… it never seemed to reach his lungs, He exhaled and was forced to breathe in again but he wasn’t drowning.

No, this wasn’t right, he couldn’t breathe underwater. He must not have been under water.

It was dark, though he could see his hands, and his legs, and the rest of himself. He must have been standing under a spot light, Souta looked up and there was no spot light, no light at all to speak of. Dreaming, he had to be, there was no other way. He felt his chest and it seemed real enough, and his head didn’t have the fog like quality when he dreamed. Strange.

There was a snake sitting in front of him, a very large snake. It’s body coiled around and it’s head stretched high above him. Even stranger. Souta froze. And it stared at him, brown, diamond eyes glossy enough to reflect his image back to him. “W…what?” Souta stammered. The thought of running didn’t occur, it was dark, he didn’t know where he was, but he wasn’t afraid of the situation, he was only afraid of the snake, and some how that equated to a lack of need to flee, he couldn’t figure it out.

He recognized this snake!

It was the snake he saw coming out of him. “What do you want!” He shouted. It was a snake, what could it tell him? It was snake, it wanted to eat him! “I’m not gonna let you eat me!” Souta yelled. Was he delusional? He should be running, not glaring at it like a child throwing a fit.

The snake crept down on to it’s belly and slid around him, coiling it’s body in a circle around him, it’s head sitting right in front of him. Souta could feel it breathing, warm air slid over him and warm air was sucked away. Souta stared at him, this must have been a guy snake, it looked like a guy snake, very tough snake, it was just staring at him. “I’m not afraid of you.” Souta snorted. He wasn’t afraid of this snake, for some odd reason. This was strange.

He was running! He was gasping for air but he couldn’t stop running. He ducked under branches and slipped in between trees with an agility he didn’t know he possessed. The forest was dark and long, he couldn’t see the sky, it was endless! He looked back, his heart pounding , and saw the large, streamline form swimming through the trees with the same agility, it’s mouth open wide with long fangs dripping with venom. “Ahhhha!” He slipped past the left side of a tree and jumped off a small hill, the snake slipped to the left of a tree and jumped off the small hill. He looked back, the snake looked back, he cut through two small trees, the snake cut through two small trees, he slipped to the left, it slept through the left. It mirrored his actions, maybe he mirrored it’s actions. “Ahhh!” He stumbled but manage to push himself up and keep running, his chest heaving with each breath.

“This is so good.” Souta scooped through a bowl of soup, barely stopping to chew, barely stopping to breathe. “Houjo’s food is the best.” He sat with his legs crossed on the ground, felt like carpet, a bowl in one hand and a fork in another. God it was dark in here. The snake slowly crept by his side, staring outward at something Souta couldn’t see. Souta leaned over towards the snake and pushed his head forward, he still couldn’t see it. Snakes must have good night vision. “What? Whatcha looking at?” The snake became still, unblinking, tongue flicking out rapidly. Souta knew the snake was about to act, he could just about feel it. He wasn’t even surprised when the snake darted out like a bolt of lighting, bit it’s long fangs into something and threw three coils around it’s body in the blink of an eye. It was a large mouse. “Ewww.” Souta groaned, but he watched with fascination as the snake grew tighter and tighter, holding on a few, long minutes, then the snake opened it’s mouth, shifted it’s jaw and began swallowing it whole. Souta looked down at his plate again and continued eating. “How’s that taste? Pretty bad?” Souta asked with interest. “That is so cool.”

“Hey.” Souta folded his arms and glared at the snake laying strait out in front of him, the desert was cold at night, he never realized their were so many scraggly, dry plants sticking out of the ground, didn’t see any cactus though. “I remember you!” He pointed accusingly. “Your that snake that tried to eat me when I went down the well!” The snake hissed, possibly in response to him, and flicked it’s tongue out, it just barely grazed across Souta’s shirt by accident. Souta reached out and touched it’s nose, it was warm, and he could feel it’s breath again, smelled like water. “What do snakes eat?” He asked. “Something as big as you probably eats hippos or something huge like that.”

“Ghaa!” Souta dug his nails in to the large tail that coiled around his neck, the appendage was so large Souta the tail covered half his mouth and was crushing his head more then it was suffocating it. He pulled and clawed at it, to no avail. It lifted him off the ground, the daytime air was cold against his naked body, pulling him towards it’s half open mouth. Souta opened his mouth wider and tilted his head back as best he could, then he bit his fresh fangs into the scales, drawing blood. He could feel the muscles loosen, from there it was easy loosen the hold just enough for him to fall through. He landed on his feet, his own tail protruding strait out for balance while he darted forward and dived into the erect part of the snake’s body with serpent’s speed. He came with enough force to knock the snake on it’s back and he landed above it and tried to hold it down, but it was infinitely larger and he couldn’t hold for more then a few seconds. They twisted and writhed together, each one trying to bind the other, Souta managed to grab the tip of his tail and squeeze it to it’s neck, it managed to wrap completely around him and nearly swallow him.

“Stop moving so much.” He groaned. Souta laid his head on the snake’s stomach, or was it his neck? He didn’t know, it all blended together to him. His eyes clinched shut, he could feel sleep coming, it was so close. The snake’s body was resting on top of him like a blanket, it’s head was at his side. It was so flexible. He was trying to sleep but every so often the snake would twitch and it’s muscles would tighten, it wasn’t so soft when it was tense. It, it, no wasn’t an it, it was a guy snake. *He* wasn’t so soft when he was tense. “Just relax.” Yes, so he could sleep! He felt himself slowly sink into the scales and lose muscles, as if it was reaching up to embrace him. Comfortable.

“Unnnn!” He felt as though he’d put the hose of a vacuum over his hand his skin was being sucked towards it, only over his entire chest. He watched with a amazement and a frantic horror as the large snake came rushing out of his chest head first, it’s body becoming real and tangible the instant that part of it escaped. That moment he had to stop it! “No!” Souta began taking pulling it back in side, painstakingly slow and with resistance. It was a strain but he had to get him back in! The emptiness inside demised with each inch of the serpent that was returned. Until he was all back inside Souta. He felt like a container, nothing but snake. No, more like a stomach full of water, that you could feel sloshing around.

Groan… blink, the world suddenly took on a more intense realism. He felt drowsy and heavy, and no matter how much he blinked it still looked as though his eyes were closed. He was wake... ‘That was all a dream?’ It had felt so real, he could swear he could still feel the tension from sucking the snake in, or taste the food, or feel the exertion from wrestling with a snake. Weird. Souta reached over beside him and his hand landed on something soft and fuzzy, a dog ear, and he could feel the soft heat from a form laying nearby. Inuyasha, below him slightly, maybe curled up, or somewhat anyway.

Hot, too hot. Souta dragged himself off of the left side of the bed and trudged forward, with hand outstretched, until his palm bumped into the cool glass of the window, he opened it. “It’s too hot.” He mumbled.

Agreement.

It wasn’t a voice he heard in his ears or his head, this was more of a sense, the sense of a presence in his head and the sense of it’s intention. ‘Whoa…’ It caught him off guard, he hadn’t noticed this before. It was as if someone else was there, and he could feel it overbearing on his entire consciousness. Though vaguely. It was to hard to describe, it was close to feeling like someone was watching you only more complete and coming from inside of him. What was this? ‘Am I losing my mind?’ He stood there blankly, trying to comprehend this. This was an entirely separate entity, in his head, so the only thing he could ask was ‘Who are you...?’

He got a response, though it wasn’t what he expected. It was a feel, intuitive, like a un-thought out thought. Souta climbed back in the bed and laid on his back, his tail twitching against the scales along his spine. He didn’t think he understood that right, had to ask again. ‘What?’ The presence surged and he felt his answer. Souta was more surprised then he felt he should have been. It was the snake, and what else could it have been. He hadn’t “eaten”, as the wolf pup had put it, anything else. ‘No way…but…how…’

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