I Don’t Want a Mate

A/N: I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, it means a lot to me. I do read them even if I don't respond to them. I particularly like to receive suggestions. I wing all my stories except 'to fall into rut', and the only reason that has an outline is because it's being co-authored. Anonnie Mouse I decided I liked some of your ideas and will possibly use the ob one in the future. Thank you for volunteering them.

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Strangely, his touch didn't make her respond the way she thought it would. As the stream of blue light faded, and the endless void of space beyond it winked out of existence, Kagome wore a frown as she pondered why she felt so fucking comfortable in Sesshoumaru's arms. She knew that even though she may not feel ashamed and dirty about her situation, her psyche should be causing her to flinch at the touch of any male. Especially this male. 'Instead it felt', Kagome bit her lip in thought, 'right?' Now she was once again infuriated with him, not that she had lost her fury, she had merely lost the edge of it, for a while. 'How dare he touch me. How dare he follow me into the well.' Kagome blinked owlishly at that thought. She turned sapphire eyes skyward and was rewarded with the sight of weathered, rotting wood. 'Oh, crap.' She jerked her sight down slightly to view the body still holding her, praying that in the short time it took to do so, she had somehow ended up in someone else's arms while traveling through time. Nope, it's as she thought. Sesshoumaru was holding onto her with a death grip. Almost as if he was afraid of loosing her.

Kagome tried to pry herself away from her 'mate', without luck. He merely tightened his grip on her, sending her a silent command to keep still. Huffing, she realized that he was serious about this, 'I will protect you and our pup' thing. While it was noble and honorable, she didn't want it. How was she supposed to explain to her family about this situation? 'Better yet', Kagome smirked evilly, 'I won't. I'll let Sesshoumaru handle the explanations.' With her mind made up, she stilled herself and waited for him to do whatever it was he was doing. Soon payback would begin.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. Strange scents assaulted his nose, burning the delicate tissue. Looking around, and suppressing his sense of smell, he began to evaluate his surroundings. They were clearly in a well-house, thus meaning they'd successfully traversed time. Foreign sounds assaulted him, and he took a minute to accustom himself to his new surroundings. With the added bonus of holding his mate while 'making sure everything was safe', Sesshoumaru took longer than necessary to accomplish it.

"Look we're here. Now listen well, mister, if you don't see me worried about something don't try to kill it or destroy it." Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. "And don't you dare harm anyone, especially my family."

Sesshoumaru looked down into her cobalt eyes. He gave a slight nod and conceded to her reason. Taking her by surprise, he lept out of the well and gently set her down. He watched as she adjusted her pack, straightened her shoulders and slid the door open. The sounds and smells intensified but didn't overwhelm him, as it could have if he hadn't taken the time to prepare himself for the onslaught. The warm, spring sun poured though the door, caressing his skin and shimmering in his hair. He followed Kagome out into the courtyard and absorbed everything while keeping close to her. While she may be familiar with the dangers of this world, he was not, and wouldn't risk her health for anything. She could hate him all she wanted, but her safety, and that of his pup's, was far more important.

As they approached the house nestled amongst the shrine, a woman, slightly shorter than Kagome, emerged. Her short and curly brown hair hugged a warm open face. "Kagome, you're home sweetheart. Who's your friend?" Sparkling brown eyes turned toward him and he couldn't help but fear what his Kagome would say. She was still angry at him, and had yet to forgive him. He did not wish to cause any more strife than he already had, but he had a feeling that Kagome was going to make this difficult.

"This is Lord Sesshoumaru, mama, my mate." Okay, not as bad as he feared. When he looked at Kagome, and saw deep in her eyes his punishment awaiting, it scared him. It seemed that it didn't take much for his fiery mate to strike fear into his heart.

"Mate? I didn't know you were seeing anyone." Her mother frowned gently. "You never mentioned it. Why are you mated already? Are you pregnant?" Sesshoumaru could see the woman's motherly instincts kicking in. She was upset that she didn't know what was going on in her daughter's life.

"Oh, I wasn't seeing him, mama. But you know what, he'll explain everything to you while I take a nice bath. I haven't had one in almost a week." With that, Kagome walked into the house ignoring her mother's sputtering replies and Sesshuomaru's slightly widened eyes. Oh, this was far worse than anything she could have told her mother. Sesshoumaru refused to lie about how they became mates. He'd have to face this like every other unpleasant duty in his life, without backing down, no matter how much he wanted to flee in the opposite direction.

"Well, Lord Sesshoumaru, lets go sit in the kitchen so we can be comfortable. I'll put on a pot of tea and you can explain everything." Sesshoumaru nodded slightly. He steeled himself for what was to come. A mother's tears.

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"So my daughter is pregnant after you raped her, and she's now your mate." Mrs. Higurashi's lips were pressed into a thin disapproving line.

"Unfortunately, that is the circumstance of our mating." Sesshoumaru had to hand it to her, she was taking it much better than he had thought. "In two weeks time, I will be returning to my kingdom with Kagome. Her pregnancy is dangerous to her and the pup."

"And Kagome has accepted giving up her life here for you and the child?"

"No, she has expressed her desire to stay here and for me to leave her." Sesshoumaru's jaw tightened at the thought. "I will do neither. I may not have been able to find a place to seal myself in time to prevent this, but I will protect my mate and pup. Even if I must do so against herself."

Kagome's mother gave him a calculating look, not to dissimilar to ones he'd used. "Tell me, Lord Sesshoumaru, do you love my daughter?" The glint in her eyes told him to be truthful, no matter the answer. Any attempt to placate her would end badly.

"I do not know her well enough to love her. We did travel together for a while to defeat Naraku, but I did not spend much time getting to know her on a personal level. My brother was possessive of her attention and did not allow me the opportunity to speak to her in private. As I said, my beast had chosen her as our mate the first time we met. I did, however, come to the conclusion two years ago that she would make a good mate. I am," he paused for a moment, "fond of her as well." Sesshoumaru lifted the tiny cup of tea to his mouth and finished it off. He took what comfort he could from the warm liquid gliding down his throat and pooling in his stomache. "If given the chance, I would have courted her properly. However, that is no longer an option."

"No, it's not," she sighed. "I do believe you when you say you were not in control. This is truly a mess of things. I know my daughter, Lord Sesshoumaru, she has probably said some hateful things to you."

"I am thankful that she did not attempt to kill me as she did my brother." Mrs. Higurashi looked startled. "She did not succeed. Kagome has, however, mentioned her desire to want nothing to do with me," Sesshoumaru sighed, "and that she may not be able to forgive me. I intend to make reparations, if possible."

"Don't worry too much about what Kagome said," she reached across the table and patted his large clawed hand. "She'll forgive you sooner than you think. I raised my daughter to see the good in everyone. And since she knows in her heart that you weren't responsible for your actions, she'll forgive you."

"I would like the chance to get to know my mate and have a proper relationship with her. However, I will give her as much freedom as possible. In two weeks we must return to the palace to prepare for her pregnancy. Hanyou pregnancies are very difficult, and without my aid the pup will not survive. Even if I must force her to return and accept my help, so be it. I am aware that I may have to endure her hatred for many decades, or even centuries, before I can earn her forgiveness."

Mrs. Higurashi looked at him puzzled. "Centuries? But, Kagome is human. She has maybe six to seven decades left."

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to look startled. "Humans live that long? You expect her to live to be eighty to ninety years old, naturally?"

"Of course," Mrs. Higurasha paused to think, "but, that expectation would be if she lived here. Given the longevity of our family, she'd reach eighty easily, even living an unhealthy life with no new medical advancements in that time. But, what do you mean by centuries?"

Sesshoumaru shook off his shock so he could focus once more on the conversation. "Kagome is one of the few humans to be completely mated to a youkai. Normally when youkai take a human mate, they are able to only accept part of the demon's youki that is required to complete a mating. Thus, they have an incomplete mating. Kagome's spiritual strength was enough to accept all my youkai required to finish the mating. She now has a life expectancy like mine. Not simply an extended life that is normally granted to human mates."

"How long do youkai live, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Most only live a couple centuries. Inu youkai are among the strongest, and are as close to immortal as possible. While we can be killed, we stop aging after three hundred years. I reached three hundred this year."

"So she is virtually immortal now."

"Who's immortal now, mama?" Kagome had just walked into the kitchen, her ebony tresses damp and dripping water onto the back of her shirt. Cutting a look at Sesshoumaru, she looked back at her mom. "Well, he's still in one piece. Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes he did, and while I'm not comfortable with what happened, he intends to take care of you and the baby. I don't believe he will deliberately hurt you." Her tone was firm and uncompromising. It clearly stated that she expected her daughter to let by-gones be by-gones.

"What? You're giving your blessing?" Kagome was in shock, or Hell. She wasn't exactly sure which. "How? How can you send me off with him just like that?"

"Kagome, I'm not sending you off with him. I'm not abandoning you." She sighed heavily. "According to Sesshoumaru, youkai do things very differently. I know you'll need time to recover, but in the long run you are going to need him. You have to learn to put aside what happened and accept the fact that you are now mates. Given time and forgiveness, the two of you may even grow to love each other."

"Mom, you're not helping," she exclaimed. 'She's really not helping. I already feel guilty about blaming him for something he couldn't control.' Kagome dropped into a chair next to her mother. "You never answered my question earlier. Who's immortal?" She knew she was switching topics but the other was making her guilt gnaw at her.

Sesshoumaru sighed. He caught her mother's eye and conveyed, silently, that he was to handle it. "There are a few thing we need to discuss, Kagome. If you so desire, your mother may be present." Kagome glanced at her mother before giving a curt nod. "One of the things I must inform you of is the answer to your question. You are almost immortal now."

"I'm almost immortal? How, and when, did this happen? And what is 'almost immortal'?" Kagome's eyes narrowed, she could tell this conversation wasn't going to be something she liked.

"As I explained to your mother, when a youkai takes a human mate they normally can't complete the mating bond. Due to your spiritual strength you were able to complete the mating bond. If it was an incomplete mating, your life would have been extended, but since it was complete, your life now matches mine. For inu youkai, we stop aging after we turn three-hundred. This is my three hundredth year. As long as you are not killed, you will never age or succumb to illnesses. You are as immortal as possible."

"Wow, that's, wow. I won't ever age or get sick again?" Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru. If he had been prone to jokes, she'd have sworn he just told one. "Okay, lets move on, that one will take time to adjust to. You told me hanyou pregnancies are dangerous and you need to help during it to make sure I carry to term. How are they dangerous and how do you help?"

"Several times during the pregnancy, you will need to take my youki to allow the child to develop it's youkai side. In two weeks, you will need to take in my youki as you did during our mating. There will be four times where it will be necessary to do so. However, the more times it occurs the better the chances of the pup's survival. Also, if there is ever a time where the pup's life is in danger, a supplement of youki could save it's life."

"I need to take in your youki like during our mating? That means that we, that you and I," Kagome couldn't seem to get the words to form, and as such, resorted to vague hand movements to get her point across. She glanced at her mom from the corner of her eye. Oddly the woman was taking this rather well. Shouldn't her mom be more upset about this, or hysterically crying, or something? That's what she wanted to do.

"Yes, we will have to mate in order for you to absorb my youki. I realize that this is difficult for you to accept, but it is necessary for our pup."

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Kagome was not happy. Far from it. Her mother kept coming to talk to her about Sesshoumaru and how he never wanted the mating to take place the way it did. She was advocating that Kagome sit down and talk to her mate to work everything out. Kagome wanted nothing to do with him. If she sat down with him and talked to him, she'd hear things that would lessen her anger toward him. It was easy to be angry at someone who couldn't defend themselves. She just had to remember her fear, the mind numbing terror of not knowing why he had suddenly showed up and attacked her like that. No it was much easier to stay angry without having to face the facts. It was cowardly, she knew that, but she was scared. She was scared that if she stopped being angry, she'd forgive him. And she didn't know what would happen if she did that.

Sesshoumaru allowed Kagome her space, as long as she didn't leave the house. She had resorted to hiding in her room for the last three days. She would come down long enough to eat with the family, barely looking at Sesshoumaru. It hurt to know his mate was being so unforgiving, despite the knowledge that she would be. She was his mate though, and his beast howled at him to force her to stay within his sights. He resigned himself to keeping a firm handle on its collar. If it had it's way, she would never leave his side. Even after she was no longer pupped. It had wanted her for far to long.

Mrs. Higuarshi had been a tremendous help to him. She had shown him around the house, explaining the strange technology, with the current lecture on culture. Both were vastly different from what he was used to, but his mother-in-law felt that to connect with his mate, they would need to understand each other's cultures. What he had always considered to be obscenely indecent attire was actually conservative for this era. Kagome herself was a mostly conservative woman. He was constantly being surprised at what he was learning, and he made sure to absorb everything. It was the key to fixing his fractured mating. Only the words of comfort from Kagome's mother kept hope alive that he could one day have his mate by his side.

Sesshoumaru sat engrossed in the glossy pages of the 'magazine' in front of him. His mother-in-law beside him explaining it's importance to their culture. "This is just one of several I brought home for you. The important thing to remember is not everyone believes the same thing, but this will give you some idea of what to expect from people today."

"This story speaks of unfaithful mates as if it is common?" Sesshoumaru was stunned and disgusted at the fact that such a thing was printed and readily available to pursual.

"Unfortunately it is very common. Many people today simply don't believe in the sanctity of marriage as they once did. What of youkai, is being unfaithful common?"

"It is unheard of for Inu youkai. Once your beast chooses a mate no other will do. Unless the chosen is dead, or has mated another, you have no other options. As for other youkai, it differs with race. It is current human custom in my time to take multiple wives, or consorts, but mated inu are unable to seek another."

"Well that's good to know. Kagome maybe from this time but I taught her that once she's in a serious relationship, married or not, she stays loyal."

"If it is not to painful, may I inquire as to what happened to your mate?" He found he really liked this woman. She was quick to find the good in people, and was of quick wit. He saw all the traits of his mate in her, and was pleased that his mate inherited her kind spirit. Currently, his mate was depressed and he was the cause. Inu's were, by nature, very affectionate to their mates. He was being denied that right, and it was close to a physical hurt. The pain in his heart increased with his despondent thoughts.

"No worries, dear." She had taken to calling him endearments, and he found that he didn't mind the lack of honors. She made him feel as if he was apart of something he hadn't been in a long time, a family. "My husband was killed when Souta was a baby. He was a police man, and was shot by his partner's stray bullet." She had already gone over guns, cars and police. He understood how a human had little chance of surviving such a wound, but that it also depended on other factors.

"I am sorry for bringing up such a painful subject, my apologies." Sesshoumaru bowed his head to her. She responded by waving it away, and they continued the culture lesson. The current objective was to educate him in fashion, and while it seemed of little importance to him, he soon learned that fashion was vastly different. Yes, he had been told that his mate was conservative in dress, but what the women in the magazine had on was scandalous. He still had so much to learn.

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It had been decided that Kagome had been in hiding too long. Her mom had had enough of her childish behavior and decided that Sesshoumaru was to be used as the excuse for getting her to leave the house. He agreed to her plan, it was unhealthy for his mate to stay so secluded. He had learned all he could, according to her mother, without actually experiencing the outside world. Now they were going to an open-air market. It would be less overwhelming on him for his first time in public. A part of him was eager, the other part was dreading the crowds. He knew better by now than to expect anyone to give him proper respect. They did not know he was demon nor that he was one of high standing.

Sesshoumaru stood outside of the innocent white door. Looking at it, he summoned all of his courage for the task at hand. Rapping lightly on the wood, he waited. The door glided open, smoothly across the carpet. Then, when the person on the other side recognized him, it started to shut swiftly. Placing a palm flat on the cool surface, he forced it back open and entered the room.

"We are going out. Your mother is waiting for us downstairs, get dressed."

Kagome blinked at him. This was the first time in four days she'd seen her mate, other than at meals. Taking a good look at him, she noticed something off. It was his clothes. He was dressed in jeans and a casual button shirt left untucked, the top three buttons were undone and exposing a small expanse of his smooth chizled chest. "Where did you get those clothes?"

"Mother provided them for me. She wishes to take me to a market for my first outing. Since I refuse to leave you alone in this house unguarded, you will accompany us. Souta is also going." He added as an after thought.

"Mother? As in my mother?" Sesshoumaru nodded. "Since when do you call my mother, mother?"

"Since she asked me to. She feels I am part of her family being mated to her daughter." Oh, he knew very well this would piss his volatile mate off. He had argued against it, but the woman insisted, and it really was a small thing. She had been so helpful and understanding about the uncomfortable situation they were in.

"Really?" Kagome decided to change the subject. 'What the hell was going on while I was in here?' She was fuming. "Why does mom want to take you out shopping? Isn't it a bad idea taking a youkai from the feudal era into a place he's not familiar with? Won't your instincts start screaming about faux dangers and people not showing you the proper respect. You can't go around killing people here like you normally do."

"Indeed, you cannot. Mother has been educating me on your culture. I also wish to apologize about previous comments I made, while we traveled together searching for Naraku, concerning your attire. I was unaware that it is, in fact, decent." He was quite pleased by her choice in apparel, now that he understood the level in decency she used to judge her clothing by.

Kagome was stunned. She remembered what comments he was referring to. They were directed at her clothing, and what he presumed her occupation to be. It had resulted in a heated one sided shouting match. "Um, give a minute to get dressed." She was too stunned to acknowledge his apology, so she agreed to accompany him and her family without even realizing she had done so.

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The ride was filled with Souta questioning Sesshoumaru about the feudal era. Apparently the two got along rather well. Sesshoumaru refused to give edited versions of accounts to him like Kagome did. Souta and their grandfather did not know the conditions of the mating, only that they were. They were told that the two newlyweds had an argument and that was why Kagome was in her room avoiding her mate. Sesshoumaru had wanted to tell them the truth, but Mrs. Higurashi was venomously against it. Now, after being exposed to their culture, Sesshoumaru agreed that they didn't need to know the details. He had known that humans viewed rape differently, just not how differently, or the amount of mental, physical and emotional damage it would normally cause. He was thankful his little mate was so strong.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru sat in a tense silence together in the back seat after Souta ran out of questions. She was surprised to find Sesshoumaru lacking his markings, fangs, tail and everything that screamed 'I'm not human'. When she had asked him how he hid them, she was given a smirk and told that being a taiyoukai had it's advantages. Kagome resigned herself to being uneasy and waited out the ride. She knew her mate wouldn't let her out of arms reach once they exited the car.

"Kagome, Sesshoumaru, I was thinking if anyone asks about your relationship, make sure to tell them you're married." Kagome's head snapped up as she starred at the back of her mother's head in astonishment.

"What? Why?" she sputtered.

"You're already mated, and according to Sesshoumaru it's similar to being married. You need to tell people something if they ask and it's best to have your story straight." Kagome couldn't deny the logic no matter how she wanted to. Once again the car lapsed into silence.

As they pulled into a parking space, Kagome was too lost in thought to realize that her mother and brother were already out of the car. Sesshoumaru had his seat belt off and was staring at her. Blushing in embarrassment, she realized he wouldn't leave till she did. When she pulled the handle to let herself out, she was met with a locked door. Blushing deeper, she unlocked it and tried again, only it still didn't open. Knocking on the window to gain her mother's attention, she pointed to the door to mime her problems. However, she was not expecting her mother to shake her head no.

"Your mother mentioned something about 'child locks'. I believe this is an attempt to force us to talk."

"She locked us in? I can't believe my own mother locked me in a car to force me to talk to my husband." In desperation, she realized that the front doors wouldn't possess the child locks. Reaching past the front seat, she undid the lock, only to have it promptly re-lock. Wide-eyed, she glared out the window to a smug looking Souta, car keys swinging from his fingers. Kagome was about to start beating on the windows when Sesshoumaru grabbed her hands before they could make contact with the glass.

"It would be best to humor her. I have found her to be as stubborn as you." He released her hands and waited in silence for her to calm. "I have learned much about your culture, and I agree with mother. In order for us to work though our past, we must each understand where the other comes from."

"What is there to understand? You've tried to kill me twice, made a habit of pounding on my former best friend, raped me and, according to you, we still have to sleep together at least four more times in order for my baby to survive." Sesshoumaru's ears were ringing. Kagome's voice had steadily rose the entire time she vented. He also noted the slightly hysterical lilt to her voice.

"You already know why I did what I did in the past. What mother feels that what we need to discuss is our different cultures. I have learned yours and you need to learn mine."

"I'm not getting out of here unless I sit through this am I?" Taking a gulp of air, Kagome slumped in her seat when Sesshoumaru nodded. "Fine. What do I need to learn about Inu youkai?" She looked like a petulant child; arms folded across her chest, head down, hair cascading around her face in black waves, sparkling in the sunlight, and even a pout gracing her full lips.

"One of the things you must understand is that, while I have been giving you your space, it goes against Inu nature to be separated from their mate. Inu youkai are naturally affectionate to the ones they love, especially mates. My beast has been in a near physical pain because it cannot show you how much it desires to be near you. After speaking with your mother on this subject, she believes that I should no longer allow you such freedom from me." Kagome's head shot up and she gazed, wide-eyed at him, cerelean orbs fearful. "I will be able to sate my beast's need to show you it cares for your well-being in small ways for now. I will no longer, however, refrain from your company. I understand that you need your space, and will provide it still, only not to the extent that I have been." Sesshoumaru lifted a clawed hand and grazed the back of his knuckles across the silky skin of her face. His beast purred in delight at such a small touch, especially after being denied most contact for nearly two weeks.

Kagome was surprised that, once again, she didn't feel uncomfortable with his touch. It defied logic. She had to struggle to keep herself from leaning into his hand. "If we're being honest here, then I have a question." She waited for his nod before continuing. "Why don't I feel uncomfortable with you touching me? I should be cringing every time I'm near you. I know how rape victims react to males afterward, but your touch is actually, comforting, on some level." She scowled at him and spat out comforting like it was the most vile of poisons.

Sesshoumaru was inwardly thrilled to hear it. He couldn't risk showing her that, but he was happy all the same. "Our pup is responding to my touch through you. It recognizes me as its sire. As I said, Inu youkai are very affectionate. It craves its sire's touch, even unborn. Your cravings for this will further increase with the pregnancy. You will begin to desire me to the point that you will seek me out near every feeding cycle."

She remembered this from the last time they talked. The feeding cycle was where the unborn hanyou pup feed off of it's youkai parents youki. "You neglected to mention that little fact before."

"True, however, it does not change the facts. Another thing you mother felt I should speak to you about was faithfulness." Kagome's eyes hardened, he could see her presumptions in them. "She felt it was important that I reiterate that once a beast has chosen a mate no other will do."

She blinked at him. Kagome had forgotten about that. Her eyes softened of their own volition. No matter what happened between them, he would remain faithful to her. He had no choice, and she wondered if it ate at him knowing she could cheat on him. For almost twenty minutes, they sat in the car, just the two of them, while he explained about Inu and youkai culture in general. It was indeed common for females to find themselves in her position of being forced into a mating due to the season. No one would look down on her because of it when she was in his world. They agreed that they would traverse the streams of time till shortly after that baby was born. Sesshoumaru had become attached to her family, and did not wish to relinquish them for his own selfish reasons. He desperately desired a family of his own, and hers came pre-made and accepting. After they lived through the ages till this one came they would make frequent visits to her family. While their talk didn't heal all the wounds caused by his beast, and the past mating season, it did help pave the way.