To Be Alive Again

A/N: Another one hot off the pixels. Hope you all enjoy it. =)

Disclaimer: I don’t own it. =(

To Be Alive Again
Chapter 3: A Day on the Town

A couple of weeks had passed in a blur for Kagome. Though she was sad, she hid it well, at least, from everyone she was now around on a constant basis. The only one who knew of her internal suffering was Hiei, and he kindly kept to himself, just being a constant presence in her life. He could be found many times just watching over the strange girl, melded with the shadows.

Kagome knew that he was there, and if anything, it was a calming force in her life. He could always be felt in her hindsight, and it warmed her to know he cared so much as to stay. Genkai quickly set up extreme training regiments for her powers, and the young miko adapted well to it, taking it all in stride. The four am wake up calls weren’t needed, after all the years of traveling with Inuyasha, her body was already on schedule to wake up that early.

Koenma had come and seen her during one of the days, checking on her progress. She found solace from the demi god, as he had informed her that both Sango and Miroku had survived their wounds, courtesy of the taiyoukai, and that both ended up having a multitude of children, while her kitsune child was adopted by Sesshoumaru, once the monk and taijya had passed on.

Curiously enough, both the Taiyoukai and kit were alive in the Makai, continuing to rule the western lands of the demon realm.

This morning found her in the kitchen, talking with Keiko, Botan, Shizuru and Yukina, while each pitched in to make breakfast for the guys, who were taking some time to spar with one another in one of the training rooms.

“So, how’s your own training been going, Kagome?” Botan asked, having seen the girl constantly working on tapping into her powers and manipulating it as Genkai instructed.

“It’s been going great! I haven’t been able to do much with them at all, except purifying arrows, and sometimes a sword, but with Genkai’s help I’ve been able to do so much more.” She said, nodding softly to the blue haired guide of the spirit realm.

“It must be tough…” Keiko said, looking to the girl. She was nice, and had a really pretty smile. She easily became friends with her, and was glad to meet her.

“Not really, though it was at first. I mean, pulling my spirit energy out took me three days to figure out, and Genkai was breathing down my neck the entire time…” she rolled her eyes at the laughter that followed.

“Yusuke is always complaining about her training, but he doesn’t complain when he learns something new.” She replied, giving the girl a smile.

“My baby brother trains with Kurama. It seems that his spirit energy can grow like Yusuke’s, but not as great as his.” Kagome looked to Shizuru, and could see a light smirk on her face.

“Not like you complain, seeing as how you get to spend time with Kurama afterwards.” Botan smirked, poking the young woman lightly.

“Damn straight…” she replied, grinning lightly now as she looked to Kagome. “…how about you? Got someone special you bed down with?” she said brashly, grinning at her blush.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” Botan spoke up, eager to get the scoop on the young miko’s love life.

“I think not! I don’t have a boyfriend, or anything!” she cried out, blushing deeply. She was still heartbroken over Inuyasha, though she did have a soft spot for a certain fire apparition, she was certain it would be awhile before she would find anyone else she trusted her heart with.

“Ah, but you do have someone you have your sights on…well come on, tell all!” Botan said, putting cut fruit together for a fruit salad.

“Ah…no.” she answered. ‘Jeez, she’s as bad as Sango…’ the young miko smirked inwardly, feeling a bit more at ease as the time passed.

“Come on! I swear I won’t tell, pretty please?” she gave her famous puppyish look, making the other three girls blink, before laughing.

“I think you should just for that look!” Keiko laughed, clutching her sides as she did. Even Yukina smiled warmly, seeing the girls getting along. She had noticed her brother keeping a very watchful eye over the miko, and couldn’t help but smile at the thought. No one had caught his attention before that she knew of, and she was glad that he seemed to find calm being near someone, especially the sweethearted girl she had come to know.

Before another word was said, the kitchen was swamped by sweaty bodies and loud yells. “Where’s the grub?” Yusuke was the first to call out, his green uniform top slung over his shoulder, his broad chest glistening with sweat. Keiko wasn’t the only one to drool at the sight, before Kagome broke the silence.

“Go sit down…and take a damn shower, will you?” she smirked, feeling a little more open with the detective. She had spent a lot of time in his presence as she trained alone and Genkai worked with him.

“Why, you seem to like the view.” He grinned back, earning a blush from her, that thankfully didn’t get a retort as a new voice broke in, “Yukina my sweet, you made us breakfast? Thank you!” the tall orange haired boy said, kneeling down before the ice maiden, a goofy grin on his face. A low growl filled the air when he grabbed said maiden’s hand with his larger ones, and everyone looked to Hiei, who replied with his customary, “Hn.”

“It all looks wonderful, thank you ladies.” A smooth voice said, as each one looked up, having to hide drool back again as they each saw Kurama’s smooth, toned chest.

“And that one ladies, is mine.” Shizuru broke in, grinning as she stepped forward and placed her hand on his chest, giving him a slow, slightly deep kiss. Blushing, he returned it, until multiple voice broke out in protest saying, “Get a room, you two!!”

Laughing, they started to make their way out of the kitchen with the plates and bowls of the breakfast foods to the table that one of the girl’s had already set, and gathered around. Kagome got used to her Saturday mornings being like this; surrounded by friends and allies. She enjoyed seeing everyone happy, and smiling. Quietly, she began to eat, noticing Hiei taking the seat beside her, she smiled softly to him, before touching him gently with her aura, hugging him with it, instead of her arms. She knew he wasn’t a being that liked public displays of affection, so this was something she hoped he wouldn’t mind.

Crimson eyes slowly looked to hers and he let the barest of smiles come to his lips before it vanished, leaving her wondering if she saw it to begin with. Turning back to her food, she paused as she heard a softly spoken, ‘Thank you.’ ghost across her mind.

Smiling softly, she replied mentally, ‘You’re welcome.’

Hiei easily caught the reply, and went back to his food, feeling at ease in their present company. It was something he was becoming more and more accustomed to, being the presence of people who cared about him and his well being. He couldn’t have imagined that someday he would be around so many others, and so different, that all cared for him, as a brother, a friend, and as he looked to Kagome, possibly something more.

Yukina didn’t miss the small look that passed between her brother and her friend, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Let’s go catch a movie, and do some shopping, who’s with me?” Keiko spoke up over the small din of noise.

“A movie sounds great, but shopping?” Kagome questioned, wincing lightly. She wasn’t a fan of the so called “sport” and wasn’t inclined to go.

“My kind of woman!” Yusuke shouted out, earning a bop upside the head from Keiko. “No arguments from the peanut gallery.” She said promptly, before looking to Botan, who seemed eager to go. “You know I want to, Keiko…how about you Shizuru?” she asked, looking her.

“Shopping? Sounds boring to me…but anything is better than sitting around here all day.” She replied, shrugging her shoulders lightly. “I’m game. Oh hey! Maybe we can find a sex shop or something!” she suggested, earning blushes from the girls, and “hell yes’s” from the guys.

Laughter soon followed as each person went to get dressed and ready to go. Shopping and a movie, it was beginning to feel more like the home she was born into, not her home of the past. Breathing softly, Kagome slipped into a pair of jean shorts and a top that said, “Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself”. Putting her hair up into a pony tail, she slipped on her flip flops and walked out, being the first one out in the living room, save for Hiei, who was relaxing against one of the walls.

“Heya…” she smiled to him, putting her wallet into her back pocket.

“Hello.” He replied softly, almost to the point where she couldn’t hear him, but he wasn’t a loud person by nature, and she didn’t bother him about it.

“Are you coming with us?” she asked hopefully, walking over to lean beside him on the wall.

“Someone has to watch over Yukina.” He replied, but his eyes said otherwise, that he would enjoy going with the group.

Before they could talk further, the room exploded in a flurry of motion, the guys and girls coming down the stairs simultaneously, and each one carrying on a conversation at the same time. Chuckling softly, she went ahead and went outside, smiling when she felt Hiei follow her.

“So…how are we getting there?” she asked, looking over their small army of friends.

“Genkai’s got a van we can use.” Yusuke spoke up, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. Everyone paled before Kurama took them deftly from the detective. “We’d all like to get there in one piece, if you don’t mind, Yusuke.” He smirked, as everyone burst into laughter, and he yelled out with an indignant, “Hey!”

Half an hour of driving, fifteen music stations, three “accidental groping’s” and one bout of “99 bottles” later, they found a parking spot at the mall, and everyone vacated the stifling van, each glad to be at their destination.

“Where to first?” Yukina asked softly, not having a lot of experience with the mall.

“Clothes?” Kagome suggested, seeing as how she didn’t have any kimono’s that weren’t destroyed from the Feudal Era, and it would be nice to get some new ones.

“Sounds great, Kagome!” Keiko piped up, earning a groan from Yusuke, a raised eyebrow from Kurama and Kuwabara, and a look of indifference from Hiei.

Kagome knew her and Keiko’s thoughts were alike, but oh so different the moment she said that. Thankfully, the first place in the store was a kimono shop, and Kagome excused herself to go there, while Keiko, Botan, Shizuru, Yusuke and Kurama disappeared into another shop for shirts and jeans.

She smiled softly when she noticed Yukina’s rather scared expression, she wasn’t used to being around so many people. “Want to come with me?” she asked, holding out her hand to the ice maiden.

She jumped a little, before nodding, taking Kagome’s hand. She was like a child in this new environment, and Hiei was glad to see that she was going to be in good hands. Kuwabara followed quietly, glad to be away from the main group of people as well.

Walking into the rather quiet shop, she noticed as Yukina’s eyes fell on a brilliant dark blue kimono with sakura leaves embroidered on it. “That’s pretty…why don’t you try it on?” she advised, earning a confused look. She hadn’t been shopping before.

Smiling patiently, Kagome picked up the kimono and pointed to the dressing rooms. “You can go in there, and try it on…and if you like it, you can buy it.”

Nodding, the cerulean haired girl went in to try it on, coming out a few minutes later in the stunning kimono. Kuwabara was speechless, as was Hiei. His sister was beautiful.

“You look amazing, Yukina.” she complimented, earning a pretty blush for her compliment. “Thank you, Miss Kagome.” She noticed her brother’s gaze and smiled to him as well, before seeing Kuwabara’s appreciative smile, and blushed a bit deeper.

“You’re beautiful…” he said, and Kagome smiled, walking over beside Hiei, and gently touching his shoulder. He seemed conflicted, seeing his sister and Kuwabara and the looks they gave one another.

Crimson eyes met sapphire, and she whispered across his mind, ‘She’s wonderful. And I think you can trust him.’ She saw his eyes widen a moment before he looked a little defeated, and whispered back, ‘Trusting isn’t the problem.’

‘Oh?’

‘Letting go, is.’

Nodding lightly in understanding, she squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, before trying on a few kimono’s of her own and getting three new ones. After paying for their purchases, they each walked back into the main mall, Kagome noticing that Kuwabara was holding onto the ice maiden’s hand now, and looking protective of the sweet girl. Glancing around slowly, she saw their group of friends checking out the movie theatre posters, and she walked over to them.

“The Fast and the Furious 2: Tokyo Drift!!” Yusuke shouted out, while Keiko replied, “But The Lake House is out too!”

Kurama and Shizuru shrugged lightly, they didn’t care which one they saw. The two arguees looked to Kagome. “Which one do you want to see?” they asked simultaneously.

She stepped back, feeling bad vibes from either movie she chose. Hiei growled, sensing her slight distress, and stepped forward in front of her, glaring at both of them. “Does it matter?” he asked, his voice deep. Everyone seemed momentarily stunned at his question. It wasn’t like him to get involved in their discussions or disputes. Shaking it off, Yusuke protested, “The difference is that The Lake House is a chick flick, and Tokyo Drift is an action packed car movie!”

“Well I happen to LIKE romantic movies, Yusuke, and I know Botan does too.” Keiko shouted back to him, glaring. “Besides, you never make our dates anyway, so I should get to choose!”

Kagome winced a little. All this over a movie? She couldn’t understand it, and bit her lower lip softly before looking back to the marquee and looking through the movies.

“How about Scary Movie 4?” she suggested. There, a middle line. A comedy. Both paused from their shouting to think it over before nodding in agreement. “Good idea, Kagome.” Kurama whispered to her, giving her a soft smile, before walking up to pay for him and Shizuru. She waited for everyone else to go, before walking up and paying for herself and Hiei, handing him a ticket.

He eyed it momentarily before taking it and following her inside. He had never been to one of these ningen movies before, and was unsure of what to expect. Somewhere in the darkness of the theatre, Kagome’s hand laced with his, and he looked to her, glad she couldn’t see it through the darkness, and they sat down away from everyone else. Hopefully the movie wouldn’t be too bad.

A couple of hours later, they found themselves back in the mall, and famished. The group attacked the food court and Kagome once more helped Hiei find some food he would like, and sat down, watching everyone else chattering away happily.

A familiar voice called out Kagome’s name, and she groaned lightly, before turning to acknowledge it. “Houjo…hey.”

Hiei wasn’t the only one to notice that she was uncomfortable, and Keiko looked like a deer that had been caught in car headlights. The scent of deception raced through the air, and the fire apparition and kitsune avatar both looked in Keiko’s direction, frowns marring their usual stoic faces.

“It’s been awhile, Higurashi. How are you doing?” he asked, taking a seat that wasn’t offered. His eyes drifted to Keiko however before going back to Kagome.

“I’m fine…doctor said I’m not contagious anymore…” she could feel the stares of confusion coming from the group, or, she thought so, but they were more interested in Keiko’s ashen face.

“Keiko, you okay?” Botan asked, concern coming to her eyes. “Fine, Botan…just not feeling well…” she replied, before standing and going into a nearby bathroom.

Everyone watched her with confusion on their faces, before Botan and Shizuru followed her into the bathroom to make sure she was okay.

“Well that’s good.” He said, watching as Keiko left and his attention could be fully focused on Kagome. “Listen, do you want to catch a movie with me next Friday? If you’re feeling better that is…”

‘Oh does this guy never give up!’ she screamed mentally, earning a wince from Hiei. ‘Sorry…’ she added, before smiling weakly. Now how to get out of this situation...

“Actually, I’m seeing someone.” She said, waiting for the bombshell to hit.

His eyes widened and she knew that an explanation would be forthcoming before he would leave her be. “Really? It can’t be too serious, considering you’ve been so sick. Who is it Kagome? I’ll better him in every way! You and I belong together!” he said, his voice rising with each sentence.

She tried to ignore the growl that was going off in her mind, but couldn’t as she looked into Houjo’s brown eyes, and sighed. “I’m a lesbian.” She said, looking every bit serious. The look of shock on the boys face was priceless, but each of her friends looked indifferent, and played along wonderfully. She looked to them, smiling softly as each looked to the boy with disinterest, as if they knew all along that she was a lesbian and wondered what he wanted with her.

“Prove it.” Oh how did she know that was coming? Taking a calming breath, she looked over her candidates. Yukina was the only one around, good thing she was also sitting next to Hiei. Standing, she moved around the table, and a silent conveyance was made between them.

Houjo watched as his crush leaned over and softly kissed the cerulean haired girl on the lips, her hand coming up to cup her cheek. Kuwabara blushed deeply, and Kurama smirked, while Yusuke was speechless, his eyes widening as he took the sight in.

Hiei couldn’t help the small grin that came to his face. It was an interesting sight to see to say the least, and as they broke it, Kagome whispered a ‘thank you’ into her ear, before looking to Houjo.

“I’m sorry, but…I don’t swing your way.” She smiled apologetically, before taking her seat.

He still looked as speechless as ever, not sure what to say, before he said, “So a man isn’t good enough for you.” He couldn’t help it, his pride was hurt. He was passed up for a woman, or so he thought, though he was never Kagome’s to begin with. “Bitch…here you lead me on all these years, when you were a cunt licking bitch!” he shouted, standing up angrily.

Kagome wasn’t the only one who gasped, and as he turned that look to Yukina, all hell broke loose, and Hiei jumped, his katana to the boy’s throat quicker than lightening. “You look upon my family like that once more, and you will not have to worry about Kagome, as I will disembowel you while you are still breathing.” He spoke, his voice deathly low and his eyes flashing with anger unimaginable.

Keiko’s scream rang out and she ran in front of Houjo, arms spread in defense of the idiot boy, who was looking as if he was ready to pee himself. “No, Hiei! Put your sword down! It was my choice, not his! I dated him first!” she confessed loudly, misinterpreting the situation horribly. Shizuru and Botan looked sadly to Yusuke, before glaring lightly at Keiko. Kagome was at a loss. ‘Okay, what the hell happened here?’ she thought, looking from Hiei, to Keiko, to Houjo, and then turned, seeing Yusuke, who seemed stunned at the moment.

‘She…did what?!’ he thought, letting the words sink in. “You…cheated on me?” he spoke, looking to her with the most heartbroken expression on his face. Kagome’s heart lurched at that expression, and she moved to slowly place her hand on his shoulder. “Come on…let’s go…” she said softly, wanting to dispel the situation the best she could. It wasn’t good that Hiei still held his katana to Houjo’s throat, and at Kagome’s look, he sheathed it, standing in front of Yukina, along with Kuwabara.
Anger was the most prominent emotion around them now, and concentrating hard, Kagome used a technique she had learned from Genkai, and pulling out her energy, sending a calming wave around all of them, earning a look from them.

“Houjo…go home.” Kagome ordered quietly, and each wanted to throttle him and Keiko both at the look they gave one another. By this time they had a little bit of a crowd around them, and the young miko’s eyes fell on Keiko. “You and Yusuke need to talk.” Why did she feel like such a moderator in this situation?

Moving away from the young toushin, both him and Keiko moved towards the exit to go talk. As they disappeared out of sight, Kagome looked to Shizuru and Botan. “What the hell happened in there?” she asked softly, her eyes demanding answers.

“She’s been seeing him for over six months. She wanted to break it off, but since Yusuke was never around, she didn’t feel she would have to.” Shizuru spoke up, feeling Kurama’s arm go around her waist.

Botan remained quiet, and Kagome looked to her. “You have anything to add?” Shaking her head ‘no’, the spirit guide excused herself and went another direction, going to go back to the spirit world, not wanting to stick around for anymore fireworks.

“That’s bullshit.” Kagome finally said, sitting down, an expression of mixed emotions on her face. Anger, sadness, and betrayal were the main ones, and she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Miss Kagome…it will be alright.” Yukina spoke quietly, infusing some of her own calming energy into the young miko.

“How could she do that to him?” she replied quietly, talking more to herself than to the others. “He’s sweet, kind, and he would give his life to protect her…what more could she ask?”

Each one looked to the compassionate miko, and then to one another. She had a point, and they all vowed they would be there for their friend in his time of need. He was always there for them, they would be there for him.

Hiei didn’t know how to feel about her speaking about the detective. He agreed with her, sure, but having her compassion being easily felt for the young toushin made him uneasy. Not necessarily jealous, mind you, because if anyone, him and Kurama were the only ones who could match him in strength and loyalty, but definitely uneasy. “Let’s go…he’s going to need us.” She replied softly, before standing, and moving out of the mall in the direction they had left.

~*~

“Yusuke, I’m sorry.” She spoke quietly, both of them having found a quiet place to talk by a tree outside.

“Why, Keiko? Was it not spending enough time with you? Because I can fix that, talk to Koenma and have him lessen my jobs…” he spoke up, his face holding his deep sadness. If there was anyone in the world he cared for more than anyone, it was Keiko.

“I know, and that was only a small part of it.” She replied quietly, looking into his eyes. It hurt, but she had her reasons. She only hoped he wouldn’t take it too hard.

“Then what?” he almost shouted, upset and heartbroken.

“Because…you’re a demon.” She replied, her voice small, but honest. Yusuke froze, his heart plummeting into his stomach. Quickly she went on, “Because I don’t want to know that in the future I will die but you’ll continue living, that I’ll have half demon children! I don’t want that life Yusuke, I don’t want those kind of children, I want a normal life! And that’s not with you, because you’re not normal!” she finally shouted out, saying things that had been on her mind for a couple of years now.

‘You’re not normal!’ her words echoed in his head, and the young toushin couldn’t help but flinch. She didn’t want him, didn’t want to have his children, had they even discussed that? He knew he wouldn’t mind having kids, but she flat out refused because….they would be hanyou. She struck a heavy, heavy blow to him just then, and he couldn’t even manage words to defend himself.

“He’s perfectly normal.” A very pissed off female voice ground out, earning both Keiko’s and Yusuke’s attention. “You’re the one that’s not normal. How can you even say such things?! You’re supposed to be his friend, and accept him for who he is, not what you want him to be!” Kagome shouted, her eyes sparkling with tears. Normal…Inuyasha wanted to be normal and be full demon, not hanyou. That was the whole point of him going after the jewel shards. Her thoughts swirled in the past, and she stepped up, intent on slapping the brunette, her powers swirling around her darkly.

Yusuke stepped back from her, not sure if she was in control of them or not, before looking to Hiei, who wore a murderous expression on his face, as well as Kurama. Shizuru’s fist was clenched tightly, and Yukina looked apprehensive as she stood next to Kuwabara.

Glaring into her eyes, Kagome spoke softly, her voice holding anger, “You cheated on him…nothing condones that. Nothing.” She whispered vehemently, her heart aching in her chest. She could feel the pain radiate from Yusuke, and she longed to hold him, to comfort him. It was something she hadn’t had much of in the past. Even a comforting hug would have gone a long way when dealing with the hanyou’s betrayal.

Turning, she walked away, afraid that if she stayed there, she would have killed the stupid selfish girl. Love like what Yusuke had for her was something she only dreamed of, and here the girl was, pissing it away like it was so easily replaced. Reaching for Yusuke’s hand, she held hers out, looking into his eyes. “Let’s go.”

He looked from Kagome’s hand to her face, and paused when he saw the look in her eye. It was a haunted look, like that of someone who knew the pain he was going through. Slowly, he put his hand in hers, and she pulled him away towards the van. It was time to go home. She didn’t speak, but knew that the others were following her quietly. Letting her energy loose, she attempted to calm the group, noting that Keiko didn’t follow, however, she saw Houjo come up after they had left, and looked away. Slowly, everyone made their way back to the shrine, and Kurama went to take Shizuru home, while Kuwabara and Yukina found a place to go talk, leaving Kagome with Hiei and Yusuke.

She held onto his hand the entire trip, and slowly led him into one of the training rooms, and looked to Hiei. ‘Spar with him, please?’ she could tell the toushin wasn’t showing any emotion and it wasn’t a good thing when something like that had happened. If he got out some aggression, he would heal better than to just bottle it up. Too bad the miko didn’t take some of that advice.

Nodding, Hiei stepped forward, and nicked Yusuke’s face, earning a growl and look from him. “What the fuck was that for, Hiei?” he shouted, jumping up from his spot on the ground and balling his fists.

Looking bored, his eyes met with Yusuke’s and the fight was on. Hiei was glad he wasn’t at the top of his game, or there might have been a problem with Kagome’s ingenious idea. Slashes lined their clothes, and blood came from shallow wounds, but before too long, both exhausted themselves out, laying in small heaps on the floor, sweat covering their bodies. Kagome moved to heal their small wounds, before sitting beside Yusuke’s head, resting it in her lap, as she had done Inuyasha so long ago it seemed.

Gently, she ran her hand along his forehead, watching him breathe in and out slowly as he regained his breath. “I’m sorry…” she whispered, her voice full of sorrow and guilt.

“For what?” he replied, looking up into her eyes. She had some amazing eyes, and right now they were a storm of blue, and sparkling with emotions he couldn’t even begin to decipher.

“For you being hurt…I know how it feels.” She said, her hand resting on his cheek now, as she gently moved her thumb across it, her calming energy surrounding them. Hiei moved and eyed the two, before growling and earning her attention.

‘Come lay beside him…’ she spoke softly, earning a wide eyed expression from him. Pausing, he debated a moment before moving over beside Yusuke, and rested his head next to the toushin’s on her lap, and to his delight, she slowly touched his face with her hand, rubbing his cheek gently, as if he were glass and would break should she use any force.

Yusuke felt Hiei move, but wasn’t concerned about him laying down next to him. May it be because he just didn’t care anymore, or because Kagome’s power had relaxed him to the point of uncaring, he didn’t know, but her hand on his face was something that only rarely Keiko did. She didn’t touch him often, and rarely did they even kiss. He should have known that things were wrong in their relationship, but he just didn’t realize it. The words she spoke to him though, were nagging at the back of his mind. But right now, he was too exhausted to think about it, and along with Kagome’s soft hand and gentle aura, her sweet scent permeated his senses, lulling him into a dreamless sleep.

Hiei watched the compassionate miko work her magic on his friend, and relaxed into her lap. For the first time in his entire life he felt content just being him.

~*~

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this one! Please R/R!