Blue moon and Red Fire

Chapter 27: The outside world.

I want to think everyone who reviewed- VeryNaughtyOttsel, SecretQuill, kittykittyyaoigirl in particular. Thanks again, and please, review.

A week went by with out event, only adjustment. Houjo adjusted to returning to school again, retaining most of his focus and concentration that had carried him through classes without much hassle for years. Souta adjusted to classes too, he learned to at least act as if he was paying attention even though he couldn't focus. He kept his head down and had yet to make eye contact with anyone again, he was becoming adapt at fading unremarkable into the background.

Inuyasha had done a bit of adjusting himself. He'd adjusted to Kouga, quite possibly the largest adjustment of his life as far as he was concerned, and they were on civil terms again. As civil as to be expected, and neither one of them ever mentioned the hole again, falling under an unspoken rule between the two of them. He was starting to get used to his weak left arm and was subconsciously compensating for it in a verity of ways that hid it's weakness well. He trained every moment he got.

Kouga's adjustment wasn't nearly as drastic as Inuyasha's, although he was constantly occupied with being unable to walk and the helplessness he felt along with it, and that was a substantial burden. He wasn't as focused on training as Inuyasha was, as much time as he spent trying to regain his strength he equivocally spent reading, anything he could get his hands on.

Houjo came rushing down the stairs, each movement hasty and preoccupying, immediately be began searching through the living room. Kouga sat listlessly on the couch, becoming accustomed to being wakened at this time with Houjo.

Predictable, organized Houjo.

Houjo's bookbag sat in his lap and Kouga was riffling through it like a curious puppy. “What's the big hurry?” He asked, clearly not sympathetic to Houjo's lack of time.

“I'm gonna be late, and I can't find my...” Houjo spotted what he was looking so hastily for in Kouga's hands. “My book bag.” He lifted it from Kouga's grasp and slipped it on to his back.

But not before Kouga was able to lift his science book. He held it up, “Can I borrow this?” Never really intending to give it back anyway.

Houjo sighed exasperatingly, having no time to barter with the wolf for the book since he knew Kouga would not give it up without another book in return, if at all. “Yeah, sure. “ The boy relented. “But this is the last day, I need it for class.”

“Hn.” Kouga grew increasingly curious as to the nature of Houjo's classes, the place he rushed off too every day and left him behind. But for now, as everything, it remained only a distant curiosity, only a distant aspiration until he regained the ability to, at the very least, stand.

As he always did, Houjo left, and a half overslept Souta came scrambling out the door soon after him. Leaving himself and Inuyasha, who was somewhere around here, on their own for the day. All the major catastrophes had been avoided thus far no deaths had occurred, no fires, no major damages.

Kouga cracked open the large volume, still impressed by it's sheer size and content. He had inquired to Houjo who had written this, not as if he'd recognize the name, only to silently reverence the person who had created all of this and pay mute tribute to whoever they were every time he flipped a page. Houjo instead turned to the first few pages and showed him what seemed to be a hundred different names, each one who'd contributed in their own way. There were large groups responsible for publishing books of this nature, making Kouga wonder how he might acquire more of them, he was sure he'd never be bored at his den again. Unfortunately Houjo didn't know that much about it, explaining that they were given to students.

Unknowingly, he had done something he might later regret by telling Kouga this. He'd solidified Kouga's interest his school, Kouga had decided he would have to go see what that place was like to make Houjo willing to go for 6 hours everyday.

Kouga began flipping through it, wondering what other books were in this house. He'd never been the type of person to sit around and actually read through a book, he'd never really took much interest in things that required sitting around or a large amount of concentration. He had never imagined he'd ever take an interest too it at any capacity, but he also hadn't imagined he'd be in such a situation. It amazed him how easily his perception, his interest could change. He could almost laugh at how narrow he realized his view of the world had been, now he saw it at lest somewhat for what it was and was driven by a new and fiery interest that was so strong he couldn't help but expand it.

He was due to sit and read for another hour before his old restlessness would grow inside of him and he felt compelled to train so that he wouldn't be bound here like this anymore.

! - ! - !

“Inuyasha!” Souta bolted out of the house, quickly spinning around back towards the formidable structure and looking up towards the roof under his bedroom window. Inuyasha was perched there, his legs crossed, staring outward across the morning sky casually. His ears perked at the sound of the sudden voice, looking over the boy curiously before he lept down to meet him.

“What?”

“I'm really, really late.” Souta told him, the expediency could be heard clearly in his voice.

Inuyasha scratched his ear absentmindedly, “So?” He didn't see the importance in it.

“Can you take me to school?” Souta pleaded, cursing himself for oversleeping. “I can't be late again.”

“Yeah, sure kid.”

Inuyasha knelt down and Souta climbed on to his back, holding on tightly to his shoulders as Inuyasha sprung forward with a short burst and darted off. “!” Souta nearly lost his balance and fell backwards at the sudden start but Inuyasha slowed a bit and sent Souta reeling forward against his back before he did.

The wind belted past them in a repelling force, it roared loudly in Souta's ears and a cool wall washed over him constantly. It was a rush, every leap made Souta's stomach quell and sink anxiously as if he was on a roller coaster, every wide open sprint made his heart pound with each increment of speed. Maybe it was fear that made him hold on so tightly, the sense of uncertainty that spawned from the lack of control. He'd always been the fearful type, every leap made him afraid of the heights of their ascension, the velocity of their fall and the shock of their landing. Every sprint made him weary of Inuyasha's speed, doubtful of Inuyasha's balance as well as his own capacity not to fall off.

Souta took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, his grip slowly loosening. His trepid nature made such an action hard, but he trusted Inuyasha, and why should he be anymore afraid of this then riding in a car? He had just as much control over both of them and he wasn't nearly as afraid when he was in a car, if anything he had more influence over Inuyasha.

With Inuyasha carrying him he traversed the distance with enough time left over to make it to class before the first bell. Souta bid a hasty thanks to Inuyasha and bolted through the front door and rushed through the halls. He reached the classroom door and froze, immediately feeling foolish for his apprehension.
He faced demons.

He faced ghost. (Though it had yet to be proved that it was little more then his imagination.)

Having survived all of that, this surely should have been no problem.

Not so.

Souta took a deep breath and went inside, he'd live this down, eventually.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

Kouga lifted his eyes from the book in his hands and watched curiously as Inuyasha trudged through the front door and past him. He could see small trickles of sweat slipping from his scalp from heat and exertion, he could smell his scent a little stronger then before. “Where'd you go?” he asked, his voice was as indifferent and inattentive as it always was.

“Souta...school.” He heaved, he took in harsh breathes, his chest contrasting and expanding to it's limit with each one. His lungs burned with the need for air and his body ached and slowed to a crawl. His stamina had fallen to a dismal level, it was pitiful really.

“Damn mutt, you only went that far and your about to drop dead.”

Inuyasha glared at him, but it was hard to be angry and furious when you could barely gather enough breath to talk “Shut up.”

Kouga looked at Inuyasha curiously and shrugged discardingly, burying his mind into the book while Inuyasha trudged towards the basement where he promptly collapsed into a gasping heap on the ground. He hated himself, he hated the condition he was in, he hated being tired. “Damnit.” He cursed himself, wondering how this could have happened to him. He rolled on to his back and laid his hand on his chest, staring into the endless darkness above him.

He'd never felt a futility like this in his life, he dwelled on the constant verge of defeat, wondering
if he should even bother with anything anymore. This state of mind came over him more frequently then he'd like to admit recently, leaving him wondering should he even bother trying anymore. He was mentally exhausted. He felt the overwhelming urge to simply lay here, and he did, not giving up, only surrendering the burden of having to contentiously having to try, to be strong, to think and act in a certain manner.

Let something else do all the work for a while, he was tired.

What the traditional way of thinking temporally retired, his mind wondered without inhibition. 'Souta...I wonder what he's doing...' He thought. He was tired, he felt his mind clouding, heavy, drifting, sinking... He thought randomly of Souta, of Houjo, of Kouga.

! - ! - !
! - !- !
Kouga gathered himself again and pushed himself up off of his stomach, sinking his claws into the couch as he pulled himself up on to his knees, then holding on to it tightly as he drew the rest of his body up until his entire weight was resting solely on the object. The motions had been preformed so many times that his body seemed to preform them on it's own. Kouga pushed himself upright, his legs stiffened, and then he let go of his support. For a moment he balanced awkwardly on his legs, and for a few exhilaratingly seconds he actually began to believe this time he'd make some progression. But it was short lived, his legs trembled and gave out sending him caving to the ground.

He repeated the same action for hours, constantly struggling for some balance that lasted more then a half second. He'd forgotten about walking already, his goal in life right now was merely to stand. He lay there on his stomach, taking in deep gulps of air, his arms sweating and aching so badly he felt like they'd tear in two.

At lest he knew his arms weren't getting weaker.

He still couldn't feel any sensation in his legs, they were still cold and lifeless, sapping warmth from his hands when he touched them. He'd once contemplated the notion that maybe his legs were now useless, maybe he really would be stuck like this forever. Those thoughts had all but left him, he rarely dwelled on himself anymore, his mind was now constantly contemplating the possibilities of the universe. He didn't think of himself or what would become of him for fear of losing himself again, he still had the claw marks indented on his left leg wrapped under bandages, not yet healed.

Kouga slowly lifted his arm and reached out toward the table where Houjo's text book resided, the strained ache flared up immediately. He groaned softly and dropped it, realizing that maybe he'd pushed himself a little too hard this time, he couldn't even reach the book let alone pick it up. “Damnit...” He sighed, laying there completely immobile, too weak, tired and in pain to move an inch. He could do nothing more then stare at the ceiling vaguely, wishing he'd left the book on the floor instead. He wanted to read something, when he looked through those volumes anything seemed possible, likely, feasible, because he wanted everything to be possible...Because Kouga had lost the power to make things happen outside of him in the objective world, he made things happen within. Because his environment had become a bare and bleak entrapment, he endowed it with unlimited potentialities, redeemed it for the sake of his own hungry and cloudy yearning.

He read constantly. Lacking his strength to walk and feeling too empty and weak to constantly try to regain it, he felt an even stronger hunger and interest for the way things worked. He had no control over anything anymore and knowledge gave him a new sense of it. He began to eat warm food and to his surprise found that regular meals enable him to read faster and with greater ease.

Damn, this was unbearable! He couldn't even see the window from here! He was feeling more catastrophic by the moment, he felt the need to move now more strongly then ever, he'd been on his back staring at this ceiling far to many times for far too long! He was starting to forget the last time he saw the sky without staring through a hole or from behind glass. He was imprisoned in these walls, in this room, in his body, Gods, he wished he could just leave it behind.

He was getting sick of the sight of this ceiling.
He could endure the pain, he had learned to live with hate. But to feel that there were feelings denied to him, that the very breath of life itself was beyond his reach, that more than anything else hurt, wounded him. He had a new hunger, and it was burning in him like fire, it was hard to stay still!

His reading had created a vast sense of distance between him and the world in which he lived and tried to strive in, and that sense of distance was increasing each day. His days and nights were one long, quiet, continuously contained dream of terror, tension, and anxiety. His only escape thus far had been in the few books of this world he'd gotten his hands on, constantly tempted with the knowledge of things he couldn't go out and see or experience, he couldn't bear it any longer.

“Damnit!” He growled, slowly lifting his head and staring at his legs with concentration, trying to will them to move. “Move damn you! Move!”

No luck.

Kouga sighed and let his head fall back to the ground, clinching his eyes to block out the ceiling. He couldn't take this. “?” He glanced over and found Inuyasha crouched down beside him, staring down at him curiously. He was startled at first, then his face shifted into an annoyance and he glared at Inuyasha mildly. “What is it mutt?” He spat bitterly.

Inuyasha spoke softly, his eyes were half lidded and his form was half slouched, as if he was only moments away from falling asleep on his feet. “Hell, you tell me.” Inuyasha said. He still wasn't ready to resume the burden that came with his normal disposition, he hadn't even been ready to move yet. Kouga's loud voice had been what spurred him into any action at all, an uneasy curiosity had built up and compelled him to confirm Kouga's wellbeing. “Your the one screaming.” That curiosity did not, however, include any creed to maintain Kouga's sanity.

Kouga couldn't decipher whether he was embarrassed or angry, it was just easier to go with anger, he knew anger well. He shifted to fold his arms but the tensing of his muscled drew a acute pain that him hiss sharply despite his attempts to remain unaffected. “Aw shut up!” He scoffed.

“Whatever.” Inuyasha rolled his eyes. But he couldn't help notice Kouga's shortness of breath, his shifty eyes, the tension in his entire body causing more pain in his sore arms. He didn't understand why Kouga didn't just relax, what caused him to be so tense in the first place. “Hey wait.” Then it came to him, he remembered seeing Kouga in a similar state of anxiousness many times. “Your not scared are you?”

Kouga's anger was temperately overrun with perplexity. Scared? What the hell was Inuyasha talking about? “What in the hell could you *possibly* be talking about?” Kouga snorted.

Then he remembered.

Inuyasha had a tendency to confuse anxiety with fear, which had to be one of the things he hated the most about the hanyou. Kouga cringed and quickly glared at Inuyasha, growling “I'm not scared stupid!” He was claustrophobic to be exact. And he was a few moments away from an anxiety attack if he didn't get out of this house. That or screaming, howling insanity.

“Oh, I get it now, that's why you were screaming.” Inuyasha said, not in a particularly meticulous tone for once, merely an observational manner.

“I'm not scared idiot!” Kouga shouted, offended, scrambling to redeem Inuyasha's image of himself. No matter how he felt about Inuyasha he couldn't seem to stop himself from being highly self-conscious around him. “I just...I'm just sick of it ok!” Though maybe he'd spoken a bit too hastily.

It wouldn't have been the first time in his life.

“Sick of what?” Inuyasha asked curiously. “It's not like your doing anything.”

Of course, Inuyasha was no stranger to it either.

“Your so lucky I can't move.” Kouga growled. “Of course I wouldn't have to do much, you'd probably pass out after the first punch.”

“Tch, I'm gonna take that from a weakling like you, hell, you hit like a 5 year-old.” Inuyasha retorted.

“You move like one.” Kouga shot back.

“Your lucky your hurt wolf, or else I would've dragged you outside a long time ago.” Houjo had said progress was being made between them, maybe he was right, because before he might have just hit Kouga any way.

“Yeah right.” Kouga looked away, glaring off into the distance. “Why don't you do it now? It's better then sitting here another second.” He half mumbled. He wanted to get out this house so badly it hurt.

Inuyasha folded his arms and looked around silently, reassessing his surroundings. He could understand. This room, this house would start to wear on him also, if he was stuck here like Kouga, if he couldn't move, if he couldn't even make it to the front door, which was only a few feet away, for a minor reprieve every once and while. With a part of him still abstained and feeling a particular pity for Kouga's plight, a generosity of sorts came over him.

He really couldn't explain why he did it, and he didn't want to, it would be to embarrassing for him had he thought it out at any time. He did, however, notice he felt like something was chasing him, and when he looked at Kouga he was always reminded of it.

“Huh?” Kouga was abruptly jarred from any thoughts he was about to have when he felt Inuyasha's hands clasp on to his shoulders and pull him up right. He nearly blushed when he found himself in close proximity to Inuyasha's sleepy expression. “W-what are you doing?” Their noses nearly touched.

“What does it look like?” Inuyasha replied.

“H-H the hell should I know?” He was genuinely confused. He couldn't gather himself when Inuyasha was in such close range. Didn't he realize how close he was? “What are you, drunk or something?”

“Heh.” Inuyasha laughed a little at this. “I'm gonna do exactly what you said, I'm gonna drag you outside.” He said, so casually that Kouga was amazed at how he said it.

Was he really sober?

Kouga definitely was flabbergasted to see Inuyasha like this, it was a bit unnerving. “Hey, Hey wait~!” He shouted as Inuyasha stood up and pulled him up with him. Kouga was resting solely on Inuyasha grasp to hold him up, he anxiously grabbed on to Inuyasha's arm for fear of falling, he'd forgotten how tall he really was. Immediately afterwords he hissed in pain and his weak arms fell to his sides, “I'm injured here!”

Inuyasha laughed even louder, smirking with amusement. “You wuss.” Translation, I'm not going to hit you. “But, if you want I could just drop you here.”

Kouga quickly weighed his choices, he could stay here and descend into a tormented, claustrophobic anxiety, or place himself in Inuyasha's hands and breath fresh air for the first time in a week and a half. He wanted out of this room so badly, he wanted out of this imprisonment of a body even more strongly. He looked away indecisively, finding it more of a battle between his pride and the overwhelming desire for a glimpse of freedom. He silently dropped his head and relented.

By the time Inuyasha got Kouga beyond the front door his left arm was trembling and beginning to falter, it occurred to him that this means of movement wouldn't work out very well, not to mention that Kouga didn't seem to like being dragged like this very much. So instead he knelt down and began shifting Kouga on to his back, “Hey! Hey! What are you doing?!” Kouga shouted, startled and unsettled at the prospect of going along with Inuyasha's actions, his intentions and uncertain about what they might be.

Inuyasha yawned. And his grip tightened, everyone of Kouga's nervous movements made his already shaky hold loose. It was annoying, and it was making him rethink doing this at all. “Stop squirming so much!” He grunted. It was best not to think about it, he didn't feel like thinking, he simply wanted to do something.

His very reluctant and weak alliance to Kouga's wellbeing did not include any creed to maintain Kouga's sanity.

However, he'd was unable to sit and watch Kouga deteriorate, he wanted to do something, he'd always wanted to do something. This was the only time he had the mindset to actually to take action. Soon enough he had Kouga on his back, his right arm slipped behind him and around Kouga's waist and his left hung like dead weight at his side. He stood up and shifted on his feet, it surprised him how much that arm hindered his balance.

Kouga felt himself leaning backwards far too much, “!!” He immediately lifted his arms and threw them around Inuyasha's neck to draw himself forward into Inuyasha's back. “...ow...” The receding pain seemed to come back full force at that action, his arms throbbed in time with his pulse and his skin grew a shade of red. Gods this was embarrassing...

Inuyasha lept into the air, landing ungracefully on the roof and stumbled forward a few steps to catch himself. “Hey! Hey! Don't fall!” Kouga called out nervously. He'd never seen Inuyasha fall, especially with someone on his back, he shouldn't have been afraid or even the least bit nervous, but he found it terrifying. If Inuyasha went down, he'd be helpless to catch himself.

“Like I'd fall!” Inuyasha scoffed defensively.

“How would I know you won't.”

“Aw shut up.” Inuyasha took a few steps and sprang off into the air.

Warm air rushed passed Kouga in a dull roar through his eyes and the sun was a bright golden glare in his eyes as he stared up at the endless blue of the sky. He'd missed this, he missed simply moving about with speed like this, even if it wasn't his own he appreciated it none the less.

Inuyasha landed at the bottom of the shrine's gate with far grater grace then last time, though it was clear how sloppy his movements were that it wouldn't be the last time he stumbled.

“Where are you going anyway?” Kouga had just noticed that they were drifting away from the general vicinity of Souta's house.
“The hell if I know.” Inuyasha snorted.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

Math. Souta didn't know why, but he loved math out of every other subject he'd ever taken. Most of the other students hated math, it was frustrating, at times it was challenging, Souta found it all of that and more with his lack of concentration. Yet and still he loved it, maybe because of the social implications of math and it's connection with money and congruently success. Success, like his dream of being a soccer player. Maybe it was the fact that it was the last period of the day and when math came along he knew he was close to the end. Maybe it was because it was simple in a way, it was logical, the formulas would always work, the answer would always come out the same.

He never had to do any actual formulas yet, but he knew what he meant, math was dependable, it was stable.

He liked stability.

He wanted to be stable.

Souta twisted the pencil around in his fingers and stared down at the sheet of math problems in front of him. He liked stability! Maybe he was boring for that, maybe that made him dull and lame as hell, maybe it was the reason he was so scared all the time, maybe it was why he cling to the things he knew best.

He liked math.

He wanted to be strong.

If he was strong he wouldn't be afraid of anything, he could do anything he dreamed of. He wouldn't have to worry about anything. “I know this...” He mumbled to himself, forcing himself to concentrate, the tip of his pencil tapping against the blank sheet of paper. He couldn't solve a problem he wasn't thinking about!

Maybe if he was stronger his mind would be more stable.

It would make sense. He was so focused when he was training, it was like meditation, he'd never been more focused in his life. If he was strong he'd always have that blissful focus. It was simple, it was just like math.

He liked math.

'Multiplication, I know this stuff by heart.' Souta thought to himself.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

Inuyasha's steps became staggeringly weak, his leaps became shorter, his breaths harsher, his heart pounded. Kouga felt a twinge of sweat roll off of Inuyasha's neck, on to his shoulder and graced against Kouga's arm. His arms were there for balance sake only, still to weak to do much holding, Kouga was forced to lean against Inuyasha closer then he'd liked to have, his entire chest was pressed against Inuyasha's back and he was forced to hold his head back so it wasn't resting on Inuyasha. His neck was getting tired.

“Geez mutt you aren't gonna drop dead on me are you?” Kouga asked, the malice wasn't in his voice as strongly as it had been, holding traces of curiosity.

“Shut up wolf.” Inuyasha growled, persisting forward despite the demands on his body.

Kouga watched him, studying him, “Just take a rest if you gotta, the last thing I need is you dying right here. How would I get back then.” He vaguely acknowledged that he needed Inuyasha at the moment.

“Damnit.” Inuyasha muttered, he looked bitterly over his shoulder at Kouga for his words. His lungs began to ache with the need for air and he was forced to stagger to a stop, immediately dropping to one knee and taking in deep swallows of air. He had thought that this would be enough, but it wasn't, he slipped Kouga carefully off of his back and then crashed face down into the earth, breathing heavily.

Kouga looked around, having been some how lost, submersed, he'd lost track of their direction, of the spots they passed by, only living in the rushing air blowing past him, the scent of the outside world and the blue skies. Now that he had been brought back down to earth he was forced to deal with it. They were on top of a hill of rolling grass, surrounded by trees, he could see the skyline of impossibly tall structures in the distance and could hear the city vaguely around them. It was a park, mostly empty at that that. “What the hell are those things?” He half whispered, he planted his hands on the ground behind him and leaned forward, peering at alien objects on the horizon.

Inuyasha didn't speak, still struggling to catch his breath, cursing himself with each one it took to regain himself.

“This place is...” Kouga couldn't describe this world, full of steel, concrete and glass, structures that reached heights he hadn't seen cliffs ascend too. Kouga didn't know exactly what to say, he couldn't find the words to ask how a place like this could exist with the true perceptivity the question deserved. “Was it always like this?”

Inuyasha lifted his head from where it lay in the grass and stared at Kouga in perplexity. “What the...What the hell are you talking about?” He asked just short of breath, he felt as though there was a hole in his lungs and the mounds of air he inhaled did nothing at all besides escape. “What kind of dumbass question is that?”

“You know what I mean!” Kouga shot back.

“No I don't!” Inuyasha so articulately rebuttaled, his words weak and broken from asphyxiation.

“Yeah you do!” Kouga was confident Inuyasha understood, he had to. How could one not feel the awe he felt gazing upon this world, how could one not see all of this and inquire how it was made, for what purpose, how the very notion of such a thing came about. He couldn't understand how any one couldn't understand what he was feeling. “I mean look at this place, what is that for?” Kouga asked, pointing towards the tallest tower he could find in indication.

Inuyasha rolled onto his back and lifted his head weakly, his eyes following Kouga's finger. “I don't know.” Inuyasha shrugged discardingly.

“You've been here before, and do you mean to tell me you didn't wonder once what was in there?” Kouga asked. Then he laid on to his back and folded his arms, feeling the familiar dull ache of strain. “Tch, I guess that's what you'd expect from an idiot like you.”

“What'd you call me?” Inuyasha growled, throwing a harsh glare towards Kouga, “Don't talk about things you don't know about bastard, of course I want to know.” Inuyasha said, trying to prove Kouga wrong as he always found himself doing.

And that's what Kouga was looking for, that spark of curiosity, even if it wasn't as big as it was in him he couldn't comprehend it not existing in Inuyasha, he had faith in that. “You never went?” Kouga was more then just curious, he wanted to see just how far it stretched, he wanted to stand on top of the tallest one and look down at the the world like bird in flight. He'd have to remember to ask Houjo to take him inside one of those one day, when he got better.

He had a lot to ask Houjo.

! - ! -!

Souta moved slowly, seeing the open front door and looking around the courtyard with a silent curiosity. Everything else was just as he left it this morning, everything was clean orderly, the bare cheery blossom tree, the soccer ball lodged in the back of the bushes, the damaged well house, the newly, though not exactly neatly replaced, window. 'Inuyasha must have left it open.' He thought.

Souta found Houjo halfway in the living room when he entered, he hadn't been aware that Houjo had been ahead of him. “Houjo? What are you looking for?” Souta tossed his bookbag aside and began looking around also with no inkling of what he was searching for.

“They're gone.”Houjo leaned against the wall with a thoughtful wondering.

“What do you mean they're gone?” Souta took a few steps forward and looked around the living room where Kouga generally was, then peeked his head into the kitchen to make sure before returning to Houjo. “They can't be gone.”

“Yeah, well...”

Souta look up at the older boy with a sudden fearfulness spreading. “You don't think they tried to-”

“No, they didn't.” Houjo shook his head.

“How do you know?”

Houjo let himself slide down softly to the ground, his back against the wall, crossing his legs and dropping his hands into his lap. He was confident in his words, Kouga, or Inuyasha for that matter, was in no condition to go to far. He could almost smirk at the thought of the two of them, wondering what possibly could they be doing together. “Don't worry, they probably haven't gone far, trust me.”

“Sure?”

Houjo smiled, finding a refreshing interest in Souta's worrisome nature, it was cute. “Absolutely.” He said, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the wall. “So, how'd your day go?”

“Alright I guess.” He shrugged, picking up his bookbag from where he'd tossed it aside. “I ended up staring at my math work for like 20 minutes.”

“Really? Still couldn't concentrate?” Houjo inquired.

“Yeah, I stared at the paper and I kept trying to do it but my head kept drifting.” Souta sighed, “I finished it though, I don't know if it's right but it's done.”

Houjo was being to actually believe this was an interfering with him to a growingly severe degree, “Hmm... How often does this happen?”

“I don't know, it always happens in school, or when I'm trying to do my homework, or almost always when I'm really trying to think.” Souta explained, he dug around in his bookbag for his homework.

Houjo closed his eyes again and took in a deep breath, feeling vaguely tired. He wanted to wrap his arms around Kouga, feel his tail softly beat against his stomach with gentle twitches, and sleep. 'His tail's still moves, it still works just fine, he's legs have to still work.' He thought to himself. “Is there anytime you know you are always focused?”

“I don't know, I'm always thinking about something.” Souta shrugged, “That's the problem, I can't turn it off... I guess I don't think when I'm training or something like that.” He paused, his hands becoming still half burred in his bookbag, an obscure expression of content came. “I don't think of anything when I'm training, just training.” Just getting stronger.

That was it, he realized it now, that was what made him focus. The thought of getting stronger, he always focused when he was trying to mold his feeble body into something bigger.

“Yeah.” Houjo smirked. “Me too.” He focused when he was training, but it wasn't for power. Well, of course he did it for a measure of power, but really he felt useful. He was like Souta in away, wanting to be of some use, some measure of approval. “Don't worry Souta, you'll get it together eventually. And if that doesn't happen...we'll work on it.” Houjo suggested.

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

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The sun had dropped from it's place in the center of the sky and was now beaming on their backs, not losing any of day's heat in it's descent. It seemed hotter even, and the air was muggy making it hard to breathe. It would be nightfall soon.

Inuyasha reached up and slammed his hands into the wall, digging his claws into the brick and mortar and pulled himself up. He was attempting to ascend the tower Kouga had pointed out and so explicitly drove him to climb to the top, he himself was also curious. Kouga was on his back, his arms wrapped around Inuyasha's shoulders and holding on for his life.

Inuyasha was starting to resent Kouga for driving him to do this. He already resented himself for his new lacking of endurance, sweat rolled down his cheek and dripped off the back of his neck, he found himself gasping for air where he usually wouldn't have begun to feel the inklings of fatigue. “Tired...” He mumbled, not even realizing he'd spoke as he slipped past a pane of glass that wasn't so reflexive up close as it had been when he first looked up at the building.

This was a 78 story building, he was on floor 69 and climbing.

Slowly.

“Come on Inuyasha.” Kouga spoke softly with a strain in his voice, he to was having a rough time with this though he wasn't carrying both their weights with one exceedingly weak arm like Inuyasha was. He was hanging on with two arms at diminished capacity, and carrying his own weight made his arms feel like blades slicing surgically in to his muscles. “If you slip we both go.”

“Heh, small consolation.” Inuyasha smiled, lifting his arm meticulously and driving his fingers into the masonry that was becoming harder and harder to dig into. His ears twitched when he felt Kouga's harsh breaths brush against them.

Kouga in turn smiled, laughing softly even. “Yeah, as good it would be to see you finally die, I'm not planing on it anytime soon.”

Inuyasha could think of a time when Kouga was ready to give up on those words. That reckless bravado, it was funny when he was watching someone else who had more of it then he did. “Like I am.”

“So.”

“So what?”

“So. Keep going then.” Kouga prompted

Inuyasha lifted his trembling left arm and dove it at the brick hull, but he did little more then scratch the surface on his first strike, the second time he got a viable stake in the stone and pushed himself up another step. His progress slowed to a crawl. “What, you thought I wasn't?”

Floor 73.

Kouga felt his arms slipping subtlety and his fingers immediately locked together to prevent farther decay of his hold. “I had my doubts.” He scoffed.

“Tch. The hell you did.” Inuyasha challenged.

Kouga's hand were pulled to the point where they were only connected by interlocking finger tips, he felt himself sliding farther and farther down Inuyasha's body, his legs merely dead weight holding them both back and peeling Inuyasha slowly backwards in a dangerous manner. “You did slow down.” He said, smirking.

Inuyasha's left arm slipped from the spot it grasp and he immediately shot back up and reclaimed his hold, pushing upwards with his legs. Level 76 and rising. He looked back at Kouga, “And your slipping.”

“Heh, I guess neither one of us is in good shape right now.” Kouga joked, sacrificially to his pride at that.

Inuyasha didn't respond immediately, but eventually he agreed in the same sacrificial manner. “Yeah I guess so.” Inuyasha reached up one last time with his left arm (because he couldn't hope to support himself with that arm if he didn't) and clinched the edge of the roof, struggling to pull himself up just an inch with the weak ligament.
Kouga still had some strength remaining, he wrapped one arm around Inuyasha's shoulders and his hand darted off to latch on to the edge, slowly and weakly pulling them both over the edge far enough to simply tumble onto the roof.

And it was finally done.

Kouga lay there on the ground, panting as though he'd just been seconds from drowning, staring up at the sky with the strength to move withholding. Inuyasha spilled out on the ground beside him, immediately clinching his left arm. He was far worse in terms of fatigue, his entire body felt spent, too much so to even think about moving for a while. They spent too full moments in air starved silence.

Kouga finally recovered enough to sit up, a task notably more strenuous on his abdomen without the use of his legs. The wind seemed more intense up here, uninhabited, though the sun's heat weaned a little, it was cooler. The sky seemed infinitely more vast at this height, the light blue with clouds that billowed so that they seemed to be the snowy sides of a mountain. “Whoa...” He made his way on to his knees and looked over the edge, from here the city was divided in to neat concrete partitions, swarming with cars and people like insects from this distance, holding different shapes, sizes and colors. He didn't think he'd ever been able to gaze out this far, infact he was never had anything to gaze out on that captured his attention and amazed him. Something that made him feel profoundly small.

Inuyasha still didn't move, he watched Kouga with an indescribable satisfaction coming over him. He was tired and his left arm felt like it was about to fall off but he didn't care, he felt as if the challenge had been worth it, his intentions being nothing more then to prove to Kouga that he could. Oddly enough, though that was the reason he'd done it in the first place, it didn't even enter into his mind. It was another moment of silence and recovering before Inuyasha sat up, crossing his legs and dropping his hands into his lap. He stared at Kouga's back, watching his tail shift back and forth like an excited pup even as his body was still, curious at how strongly he was reacting to this. Did this make him that happy?

“I can't believe you never came up here.” Kouga's voice was wrought with a soft spoken awe.

I did.

“Yeah, well.” Inuyasha shrugged, watching the city down below, staring at the reflective glass of the sky scrapers. “Why would I, I never had a reason.” He let himself fall back until his golden eyes met the sky, feeling so tired from carrying around Kouga all day that he simply wanted to sleep for a while.

Kouga glanced back at him, the looked out at him. He spoke without bitterness or resentment, he didn't say anything spiteful nor did it have any undertones, it seemed much too tiresome, and he was exhausted. “You don't have to have a reason. I mean, come on? Haven't you ever did something because you were curious?”

“Not really.” Inuyasha couldn't really remember any times he'd done something on curiosity alone, at lest of his own accord. He never wanted to be bothered with most things it would have entitled.

“What? No way in hell.” Kouga looked back at him fully. “I don't believe that one bit.”

“What does that mean?” Inuyasha asked, a little disgruntled that Kouga thought he was lying.

Kouga couldn't describe to him why he didn't believe that a person he understood better then he'd ever admit, a person he felt at least a little connection with no matter what means they were by. Could be so unlike him in a fundamental way. He couldn't believe Inuyasha didn't feel at lest some of the hunger everything that had happened to them had awakened and starved in him. “I don't believe it, how could you not, especially in a place like this.” Kouga folded his arms and shook his head stubbornly, refusing to believe otherwise.

Inuyasha suddenly felt a bit of embarrassment, as if he'd been caught doing the wrong thing. “It's not like I exactly had the chance to look into anything.” He retorted defensively.

“Tch.” Kouga leaned against the 3 foot brick railing lining the entire edge of the roof, looking down at the structure of steel glass below him, it felt formidably stable. He wondered how much it would take to bring one of these towering fortress down, what was going on inside? He'd most definitely have to have Houjo take him inside one day, no, the moment he got better. “I couldn't not do it, *hell*, it's killing me already. I swear if I could...” Kouga's voice trailed off...

Inuyasha looked at him curiously, he knew what he was about to say, and grew aggravated when he didn't say it. Not that he wanted to hear Kouga talk like that, he despised it, but for him to stop in the middle of it like that in such a sullen way, he despised that even more. It created more tension more awkwardness then if had have said it. “What the hell. Your not gonna start whining on me are you?” Inuyasha snorted.

Kouga glared back at him. “You bastard. What'd you say?” He asked, daring Inuyasha to repeat it.

Inuyasha was taken back by Kouga's sudden shift in pallet. “Don't act like you weren't.”

“Over this? No way.” Kouga shook his head firmly, forgetting to throw in his usual defense of never whining at all. “This is nothing, I've been through worse.”

He had.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. “No you haven't.” He denied, finding it hard to believe someone as... hyperactive as Kouga had ever taken a blow this hard. Something that crushed him body mind and soul like this had. “Just admit it, you were about to get all weepy.” Inuyasha peeked one eye open and glanced fleetingly at Kouga, there was no smirk where he normally would have been inclined to take humor.

Kouga was being to get aggravated, feeling as though he had something to prove. But that wasn't what compelled him to speak, it was the surge of emotions that swelled in him, strongly enough to make him hate Inuyasha, to make him hate himself. “I have you dumb bastard.” Kouga grunted resentfully, his eyes meeting with Inuyasha in a hard glare, pupils trembling. “When my pack died-” Kouga had to refrain from pausing and drifting off as he had before when he spoke about his legs. “-That was worse.”

“...” Inuyasha didn't respond immediately, but again he was propelled to speak. Maybe if he wasn't so tired, if he was bothering to carry the weight of being himself he might have avoided this subject all together. But ever loud voice of his pride had seemed to be somehow silenced or otherwise blocked off. The feeling of being always enclosed in the stifling embrace of an invisible force had gone for him, he was strangely oblivious to the awkward situation he was in. Under it all some part of his mind was beginning to stand aside; he was going behind a curtain, his wall, looking out with sullen stares of contempt. He was outside himself now. “That's different.” He didn't know why he continued with this, feeling like he wanted to hear something from Kouga but he didn't know what.
Kouga, however, felt as though he was constantly bound by something, something always present in his mind. Tenting every thought with a pessimistic sting, embracing him at night when he was alone with a deathly cold, squeezing his heart and lungs at times making it hard to breath. “What the hell do you mean it's different?” Kouga's voice was low, growing weak and trembling. He swallowed hard and shook his head, making his throat still and forcing his shaking eyes to focus. Why! Why was it that he always lost it front of Inuyasha?

Maybe it was better this way, he'd rather it be him instead of Houjo. Inuyasha had seen just about everything he had to offer, he'd already seen him at his strongest and at his weakest, and Kouga had seen Inuyasha in a similar depth.

“It's not the same.” Inuyasha said, just as softly. “It's two different things.”

“You don't understand anything do you mutt?” A smile formed on Kouga's lips, as bitter as his expression. He didn't know why he was smiling, it was similar to the urge to laugh when one was uncomfortable or afraid. “You were always stupid, no wonder you never wanted to know anything about anything.” He hated Inuyasha, he hated himself, his fist clinched so tightly the blood left his knuckles and his hands trembled. “This is nothing compared to that, it hurts so much, not just in my head, it actually hurts. It's a something crushing your chest all the time, you can't breathe. Sometimes you can't even want to get out of the bed, you don't care if you eat, if you sleep, all you can think about is that everything hurts.”

Kouga paused and took a deep breath, there was a choking in his throat making it hard to talk.

Inuyasha stared up at Kouga, uncertain what to say. It didn't surprise him, he'd sensed this in Kouga, it was clear in the way he spoke sometimes, in his movements on occasion, he just hadn't known to what extent. He hadn't wanted to know he supposed. This had broke his spell of denial. There was no more avoiding how very wrong something was with in Kouga. Even though he had seen the signs of this so many times it didn't even surprise him, he'd still managed to simply ignore it and believe that Kouga was fine. It was hard to deny it when Kouga was saying it to his face.

He realized that the thing that had been chasing him was a sense of guilt. 'Kouga....' What exactly was he suppose to do though? What could he say?

“Don't tell me it's not as bad.” Kouga scoffed resentfully. That was much worse then this was, this was nothing compared to that...

Kouga's eyes lightened and he looked upward towards the sky thoughtfully, a sudden enlightenment coming on to his face.

This was nothing compared to that.

Though, he still hadn't gotten over that.

'That's why he's so angry...' Inuyasha let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I might just have to see what's in this place.” Inuyasha said, seemingly out of the blue, seemingly out of nowhere. As long as Kouga had been around Inuyasha was content to pretend he didn't give a rat's ass about him.

'Huh' Kouga shifted his eyes back to Inuyasha, staring at him questioningly, his gaze was not reciprocated. “Yeah, maybe.”

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“I got it!” Souta called out, waving discardingly that he had no problem doing the task of retrieving an over kicked ball. He pushed his way into the bushes lining the edge of the courtyard until he found the black and white patches of a soccer ball lodged in the greenery. He tossed it back over his shoulder before loosening himself.

Houjo stopped the ball with his foot and waited as Souta returned to his position. “Ready?” He called out, gaining a nod in return. He drew his leg bag and kicked the ball with a subdued strength. “You finish your homework?”

“Un-huh.” Souta darted out from his spot to catch the ball and repelled it back. He'd finished it with help from Houjo for most of the first part, then he finished what was left over on his own. It took him a while, a half hour of cumulated blank staring and idle thoughts, but he managed to get through it.

“How was it?” Houjo slipped his foot under the oncoming ball and launched it onto the air towards Souta.

“Horrible!” Souta ran underneath the ball, eyes darting upward, “I swear I can't think strait.” He lept upward and struck the ball with the top of his head, watching it fly up to the sky, then plummet back down to the ground. “I'm starting to wonder why I even bother anymore, it's just gonna get worse.” He said, his voice spiking as he kicked it back towards Houjo.

“Well can you think now?”

“Yeah.” Souta nodded. “But it's different with this. I don't have to think.”

“You look like your thinking about something now.” Houjo stepped to the side into the ball's that and kicked it back. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Souta shook his head. “I was just wondering where my mom and my grandpa are, they should have been back by now.”

“Maybe something came up.”

“Wouldn't they have called then?”

“Maybe.” Houjo veered into positions and returned the kick. “I wouldn't worry about it too much. There's a reason, there is always a reason.”

“I guess so.”

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Inuyasha felt the cloudy weight of sleep clearing and suddenly everything around him, every sound, every scent, every sensation, became sharp and distinctive. His eyes slowly peeled open to the night sky, a blanket of dark blue and an odd purple. The stars were dull and distant, overpowered by the bright lights of the city below. He didn't move immediately, he laid there in silence and stared, collecting himself, remembering where he was and what he was doing here. When he finally did sit up, in a drowsy haze and eyes blurry, he saw Kouga sitting with his back against the brick railing around the edge of the building, his elbows resting behind him, limp legs stretched, staring outward from the center of the sky line. He was wide awake.

“I wonder how they do that.” Kouga said, hearing Inuyasha awaken.

Inuyasha scratched the inside of his ear and yawned, mouth wide, an audible exhale. “Do what?” He asked, his voice slow and dragging with drowsiness.

“Make a place so bright that can block out the stars.” Kouga leaned back and looked over the railing, staring down at the white, orange and odd yellow lights of an ascent building, shining through scattered individual panes of glass.

“...” Inuyasha crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees, watching Kouga admire the city. “Tch, you don't know by now?”

“Huh?” Kouga looked over at him, “Why do you say that?”

“All those books your always reading, I'm sure you learned something about it by now.” Inuyasha snorted with a bit of a smirk. “Doesn't matter, your still stupid though.”

Kouga glared at him. “Idiot.”

“Dumbass.” Inuyasha retorted.

“I'm still smarter then you.” Kouga said arrogantly.

“Yeah right, I don't know why your looking in 'em anyway, they aren't gonna help you.”

Kouga's glare took on a particular tainting that Inuyasha couldn't identify, he seemed to take an offense to that. “You really are a dumbass aren't you?” He said, his voice gaining a seriousness that Inuyasha hadn't expected. “Just because it's not helping me get better-” He had to force himself to utter a word about his legs, something he had never wanted to draw attention to in any light. “- or making me stronger doesn't mean it's not worth something.”

“Yeah, but what's it worth to you? You don't live here.” Inuyasha said, doubting that Kouga could put little if any of the knowledge he learned to practical, or any use. So his time was better spent trying to rehabilitate himself.

Kouga couldn't have explained it to him in a way that would make him understand. He knew his words sounded foolish coming from his particular environment were studying so thusly was practically unknown, and useless considering the short average life span and the fact that most of that span was spent in conflict. Where the highest thing of value was a dime or a dollar, and prime territory; where, if one aspired at all, it was to be powerful, or escape the inevitable fate of death. The most valued pleasure of the people he knew was a weapon, the most cherished experience the victory of a battle, the most sought-after prize was a mate, someone else's at that. Kouga indulged and lived in this way as much as anyway, but with this crushing sense of depression, Kouga realized he knew how to die better then he knew how to live, many things now felt meaningless.

He didn't look down on anyone with this new realization, not more then his usual arrogant nature. He felt only that they had no chance to learn to live differently, he at times enjoyed and felt it was necessary to fight, but this place made him feel as if there were limitless possibilities that could be achieved completely devoid of the battling he was so accustomed too, so many he had missed and he now hungered to learn of all of them. It was as if a certain blinding force had been lifted, he felt as if he had been organically capable of only the most elementary reactions. Like most others he encountered his fear-haunted life made him suspicious of everything that did not look as he looked, that did not act as he acted, that did not talk as he talked, that did not feel as he felt.

Most of all, strangely enough, he thought of Ginta. Kouga figured he must have just begun realizing something the younger wolf already had known, because Ginta had been acting in this way all of his life, he only obscured it enough so it wouldn't be exceedingly noticed. Ginta was the most inquisitive out of them, the most curious about things that Kouga had thought to be meaningless at the time. Ironic really, he had been blind to Ginta's motives just as Inuyasha was now blind his own. Kouga now took particular notice of Ginta's aversion to fighting, sure a good portion of it was an exceeding dose of fear, but maybe he was trying to find a different way to live then the rest of the demons they had known. He would have fit right in in this world.

“You really don't get it do you?” Kouga said. “Well I guess I can't expect a person like you to understand.” Dispite his words he actually did expect Inuyasha to eventually understand it, just as he had.

“What's to understand?” Inuyasha closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Your gonna make me explain it to you huh?” Now, Kouga didn't know why he said that, he let his mouth get ahead of him. He didn't know exactly what to say, if he could explain it he would have done it already...Damn... Kouga averted his eyes to the string of red tail lights, white headlights, and the glow of orange streetlights of the road like an illuminated river. His response was delayed long enough to give Inuyasha the impression he'd given up on it all together. “I remember when I picked up that first book.” Kouga smiled to himself with amusement, his eyes still averted. “ I didn't even know what it was, hell I didn't even read it, I spent hours looking through what had to be like 1000 pages. The pictures were the most amazing things I'd ever seen.” Kouga was reluctant to admit this, he was reluctant to even speak in this way, and it showed. “All this stuff, all these people, I didn't understand half of what I saw. But there are these small little words under those pictures that explains it a little, then it leads you some place in this mountain of words that explains it a more, but to understand that you have to look back and read the stuff leading up to it. The next thing I knew I was reading the damn thing backwards, learning stuff I never even knew I didn't know.” His smile became distant and laid his head on the brick barrier, staring at the horizon. “Those small little words under this ...strange little picture ...and I was hooked...Do you get that? Haven't you ever had a moment like that in your life that you found something...that just started to change everything? I mean this is big...really big...everything just looks so different now.”

Inuyasha let out a deep breath and opened his eyes, watching Kouga listlessly. Kouga's explanation didn't astound him, or particularly change how he thought, but it did make him understand, it made him feel safe and connected enough to respond to such an question. “Yeah actually...I have.”

Inuyasha didn't go into detail, he didn't explain what it was, and he shut down almost immediately after. As far as Kouga was concerned he didn't need too, it was simply enough for him to know that Inuyasha understood.

They sat in silence for a few more moments, Inuyasha stood and stretched his arms above his head. “We better get back, Souta's probably worried.”

“Yeah.” Kouga nodded, slipping his hands behind him and began to push himself up. He suddenly cringed with a startled yelp of pain and immediately his eyes darted down to his legs. “!” He slowly eased himself back down.

“Huh?” Inuyasha knelt down beside him, “What?”

“My...my legs...” He forced out, slowly lifting his hand toward his leg to touch it, he wasn't able even grasp it. As he felt a fingertip graced against the skin he immediately pulled his hand back, “It hurts...!”

“Wait? What?” Inuyasha couldn't believe what he was hearing, did that mean Kouga could feel his legs again? “That couldn't...When was the last time you moved them?”

“Are you seriously asking me that Inuyasha!”

“No, I-I mean when was the last time you moved?”

“I haven't moved since we got here.” Kouga said, his voice strained with pain, even the feel of the concrete ground under him began to cause him pain.

Inuyasha slowly reached out a hand and pressed his finger against Kouga's leg, only to immediately gain a growl of pain. He drew his hand back frantically.

He got it.

It was gonna be hell moving him. “Uh...then this is gonna hurt a lot...”

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