Innocent Beginnings

Innocent Beginnings
By: Maggz
Disclaimer: I'm just a poor woman with an overactive imagination


Chapter 25: Facing The Music StarStarting Over


I lay curled into a ball in the middle of my bed, my arms clutching the bright red teddy that Kohaku had won for me one night in some silly arcade game he‘d challenged me to.


I’d cried so much now that my stomach muscles ached and my head was pounding harshly. Never before had I locked my bedroom door but I’d made an exception this time around. I couldn’t bear the thought of ANYONE speaking to me, much less witnessing my current state of emotional stress as well as my bedraggled appearance.


When Semarumaru had so unceremoniously dropped me off, I’d flew inside and up the stairs before anybody would have had a chance to even realize I was home. I didn’t even know if anyone else was home or not and I really didn’t care. I wanted… NEEDED to be alone with my pain, humiliation and anger. I felt as if I was going to explode yet I had no good place to vent. The person I’d always vented to was needing a place to vent for himself right about now - of that I was very sure. My heart ached for Kohaku. I was sure he’d been mortified at the way Sesshomaru had taken over. Propriety said that I should’ve stayed with Kohaku, insisted I go home with him since he HAD been the one to take me out but intelligence had overridden propriety as soon as I’d gotten a good look in Sesshomaru’s eyes.


I was furious at Sesshomaru. In that moment I probably hated him more than I’d ever hated anything or anyone in my life. How dare he think he had the right to spy on me, drag me away from my friends as if I were ten years old, threaten me with a spanking, and dump me outside my home with a tongue lashing such as I’d NEVER received in my entire life! If I could’ve punched him right about then, you better be assured that I would have.


Fresh tears of anger spurted from my eyes and throwing the coverlet off me, I jumped out of bed and went straight to my computer - determined to zam ofm off an email he’d likely NEVER forget!


Sesshomaru,


I don’t want to see you EVER again. I think you have overstepped your boundaries as far as I’m concerned ttimetime! You went way too far! I don’t need you in my life anymore. I don’t need your sermons, your spankings, your threats or you bullying. What I need is a friend I can trust that PRACTICES what he preaches - something you just can’t do.


Do NOT contact me further! That means email, phone, and most especially stopping by my home. I will not talk to you, reply to your mails or agree to see you, no matter what! You can bet on that!


You ruined my night. You embarrassed me at wat was uncalled for. I fully realize that I am not of age to enter a club such as The Met but I was doing nothing wrong and had a very supportive and good group of my friends there to see that I was well taken care of.


As I mentioned above - I simply don’t need your interference in my life any longer. Thank you for everything you have done for me up to this point. I will never forget it.


But go live you own life - you seem to do that VERY well!


Rin Matsumoto


Not bothering to read over it, I pressed SEND before I lost my nerve and with a deep, cleansing breath, stood up from the desk, slipped out of my clothes and walked into my bathroom, turning on both the hot and cold water as har I c I could. Leaning over the tub, I grabbed a bottle of French Vanilla bubble bath that Sesshomaru had brought back for me on one of his many trips abroad and chunked it in the garbage, opting instead to use my shampoo as the source of a good, hot bubble bath for the night.


I allowed the tub to fill, turning to face the mirror and gasping in dismay when I caught a glimpse of my face. My carefully applied makeup was in total ruin from the tears I’d made it suffer through, my eyes ringed with the last dregs of velvet black mascara I’d brushed on. Picking up a bottle of makeup remover, I went to work quickly removing the mess I’d made and by the time I was finished, the tub had filled to capacity… just the way I liked it.


Sighing, I climbed in and sank down in the hot water until my chin was dead level with a froth of bursting bubbles that smelled of fresh apples. I closed my eyes and slid my feet up to rest on the wall of the tub, concentrating on forgetting about what a total asshole Sesshomaru Hara was. A knock at my locked bedroom door startled me and shooting up out of the water, I frowned to see it splash over the side of the tub and onto the pink carpeted floor.


“RIN??”, Aunt Reika called out. Growling under my breath, I leaned over the tub and faced toward my bedroom, shouting back to her.


“Yes?”


“Rin, what’s going on?”, she asked. “Are you alright in there?”


“I’m in the bath and yes, I’m fine.”, I said, hoping the distance between us as well as the closed door would mask any sound of upset that still survived inside me .


“There’s a call for you. Kohaku. He sounded upset…”, she said, hanging on to the snce nce as she waited to see if I’d over anything further.


“I’ll call him later.”, I said and started to slide back around and into the tub.


“Rin?”


Taking a HUGE breath, I leaned over the tub once more and braced my hands around my mouth in order to make my voice as well heard as possible.


“I’m fine, Auntie. I’m just tired. I’m going to soak in bubbles until I shrivel up and then I’m going to go to bed and sleep until I can’t sleep anymore. I’m fin I s I said and splashed back down into the swiftly cooling water once more, grabbing for a wet washcloth to put over my red and swollen eyes.


She must’ve moved away from the door because blessedly, no more voices, knocking, or ringing phones interrupted me. I enjoyed the remainder of my bath and stayed put just as I’d said I would… until my skin was wrinkled around the pads of my fingers and toes.


Dressing in my warmest, coziest, most granny style nightgown, I doused the lamp by my desk, turned off my computer and set my phone to NO RING before gratefully turning to my bed. Grabbing the Kohaku Teddy once more, I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled deeply into the covers until sleep must’ve overtaken me because the next thing I knew…


I was being awakened by a pounding on my bedroom door.


Opening my eyes in alarm, I tried to get my bearings and squinted against the brilliant sunlight that filled my room. Looking first at the door and hoping I’d just had a bad dream and could sink back down into even MORE sleep, I turned to the clock on my bedside table and frowned. It was still early… 11am!!


Another knock sounded now, this one much louder and followed by the angry voice of my Aunt Reika.


“Rin Matsumoto! I suggest you get out of bed right this moment and get yourself downstairs! I’ll give you exactly twenty minutes to get yourself together and then you’re expected to be sitting in front of me at the kitchen table!”


“Here we gooooo…”, I breathed as I flipped the warm covers off me and got to my feet. Grabbing a pair of navy sweatpants and a creamy yellow sweatshirt, I dressed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. That done, I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it into a neat ponytail before glancing at my clock to make sure I still had a bit of time.


No chance.


I left my room quickly and padded down the stairs on bare feet, stopping when I heard the unmistakable sound of Sesshomaru’s voice. Turning quickly, I’d nearly made my getaway when I heard Uncle Ichi’s voice and stopped cold!


“Rin. Get in the kitchen! NOW!”, he ordered.


“Yessir.”, I mumbled and turning around, headed for my punishment.


I spied Sesshomaru at once, his hair disheveled, his eyes tired, his face worried and drawn. Hardening my heart against him, I took a seat at the farthest end of the table away from him and sat down, looking over at my aunt.


“Sesshomaru has told us what happened last night, Rin. I have to say I’m very disappointed in you AND in Kohaku. I thought both of you knew better than to do something such as this. I’ve put my trust in Kohaku AND in you so many times! How could you, Rin? How?”, she asked.


“Kohaku didn’t do anything. I got myself into the club.”, I said at once, never taking my eyes off her. I could feel the heat of Sesshomaru’s gaze as it bit into me but pressed on with the swiftly constructed story that even now continued to roll around in my brain.


“HOW?”, she asked.


“Fake ID.”, I replied, crossing my fingers underneath the table.


“Where did you get that?”, she asked.


“Internet”, I answerThanThank God I had a few bold and daring friends that weren’t afraid to experience life as I’d always been. The lies were easily pouring from between my lips now and I had THEM to thank for supplying me with the information that otherwise, I‘d have never known.


“Dear God, Rin!”, Uncle Ichi said, pouring himself a cup of coffee as he glared at me. “We’ve never had one speck of trouble out of you since you’ve been here. You’ve always been such a good girl! What’s going on!?”, he asked.


“I didn’t do anything but get into a dance club, Uncle. I didn’t rob a store or smoke pot or get drunk! I didn’t drink at all! I had dinner with my friends, I watched a karaoke show and I got dragged home by HIM in front of God and everybody!”, I said, my eyes leveling on my enemy.


“Watch your mouth, Rin!”, Aunt Reika said, her eyes narrowing.


“I’m sorry.”, I said at once and took my eyes from Sesshomaru’s.


“I have no choice but to ground you, Rin. You’ve brought this on yourself. I can’t have you traipsing about town, going into clubs specifically meant for young ADULTS! You’re grounded for a period of two weeks. No phone, no privileges. You may continue with what’s left of the tutoring sessions with Kohaku, after we’ve spoken to him and come to an understanding where YOU are involved. Do you understand?”, she asked.


“Yes Ma’am.”, I said.


“Sesshomaru has asked to speak with you, Rin. I expect you to listen to and treat him respectfully. Thank goodness he was there last night! Thank you, Sesshomaru!”, she said and leaned across the table to pat his hand. I watched with my heart in my throat. I wanted nothing more than to lunge across the table and rake my nails down his pretty boy face! Just who did he think he was?? My savior? My knight in shining armor? My fiercest defender against all evil?


“Rin?”, Uncle Ichi cautioned, breaking through my imagery and clearing my throat, I smiled up at him. “Did you understand what your Auntie said?”, he asked.


“I did.”, I said, lowering my eyes until I heard the faint scraping of Reika’s chair against the polished wooden floor followed by their retreating footsteps. Only then did I look up at Sesshomaru, finding his eyes firmly glued to me.


“Let’s go outside.”, he said, getting up from his chair to walk over to mine. I ignored his offered hand and rose from the opposite side of my chair, walking around it and past him to go out the back door of the house.


I could hear his heavy sigh behind me and berated myself for caring one WHIT if I’d hurt his feelings or not. Some things had become ingrained in me - worrying over Sesshomaru and his feelings, his loneliness, his sometimes reckless behavior that I usually explained away as the trappings of fame - it was a habit I was going to have to scrub free from my consciousness. I had no choice. I had to push him out of my life in some way. He was eating me alive, breathing up all the air around me, affecting everything in my life and even I knew that wasn’t healthy - for either of us.


“Rin, please…”, he spoke up as soon as the heavy door closed behind him. Refusing to acknowledge him, I walked to the edge of the garden and stood, running my fingers over the painted iron railing that protected it as I looked out over the late blooming flowers. I felt his hand close over my shoulder and bit my lip, closing my eyes tightly. How I ached for him… how I hurt!!


Turning me by my shoulder toward him, he gathered me close and pulled me deeply against him, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply. I started to cry then… something I swore I’d never do again in front of or BECAUSE of him. But I couldn’t help it! Somewhere along the way, I’d gotten lost, I’d hurt and disappointed him and I’d ruined Kohaku’s special evening. EVERYTHING was wrong!


“Shhhhh… Rin… shhhhh…”, he murmured, his hands stroking through my bound hair. “It’s all ok. I promise. It’s all gonna be fine.”, he said. I’m not sure how long I cried. I don’t even remember being led to one of the little redwood benches that decorated the perimeter of the garden and wasn’t even aware that we were sitting until I finally lifted my head and wiped the tears off my cheeks.


“You ok?”, Sesshomaru asked, cupping my face in his hands. “Rin! Why did you write that note to me last night? Why?”, he asked, his hands tightening their grip on my cheeks. “I could NEVER leave you the way you asked me to… TOLD me to. NEVER!”, he shook his head vehemently. “Don’t you ustanstand anything about me?”


“No, Sesshomaru. NO! I don’t understand a damned thing about you. I thought I knew you - at certain times, I still think I do - and then you do something like dragging me out of The Met last night and I get confused all over again! Why did YOU do that to ME?”, I cried, agitated once again.


“You can’t be serious, Rin!!”, he frowned, sliding his hands from my face down my shoulders to my arms. “You had no business in there! Imagine for a moment what I felt like when I stepped into that place to see you rubbing yourself all OVER him!”, he frowned deeper. “I could’ve beaten him senseless, Rin! He had NO right! NONE!”, he very nearly shouted.


“He has every right, Sesshomaru.”, I countered.
“You“You HAVE slept with him, then!”, he stated, the tips of his ears nearly glowing red in his anger. “I KNEW IT!”, he shouted, starting to rise from the bench. I quickly reached out to grab his hand and jerked it back toward me, causing him to pull up quickly and look down at me.


“What?”, he asked.


“Sit down!”, I hissed. “God, Sesshomaru! Sometimes I just… oh… just SIT DOWN!”


Reluctantly, he took a seat once more at my side and looked at me, waiting to see what I was going to say. His hand still rested in my own and I closed my other one over it so that it was captured between the two now. How to best tell him what I needed to say? How to get it across without making a fool of myself? How to get HIM to admit what his entire problem was with the whole situation!?


“You care for me.”, I said.


“Well Goddamn!!”, he vented furiously, starting to get to his feet once again until he could see I still had a firm grip on his hand. Sighing, he leant back against the bench and closed his eyes, taking his hand from mine to rub across his eyes. “You are impossible, Rin. Fucking IMPOSSIBLE! Why the HELL I put up with you… WORRY myself SICK about you is beyond me! You are gonna sit there and make that statement as if you just now realized I DO care for you!!!??”, he ranted, his face growing more contorted with frustration the longer he allowed himself to speak.


“I never asked you to babysit me!”, I cried.


“Babysit? I wasn’t babbysitting!! But somebody sure as FUCK needs to and it sure ain’t your BOYfriend - ‘Kohaku the bad karaoke act’ !”, he huffed.


“You’re jealous!”, I said, realizing something that had niggled at my conscious for awhile. I mean, I KNEW he disliked Kohaku - I knew since he’d met him that he never had one nice thing to say - I knew he was overly concerned with me kissing Kohaku and going to the club with him - that he had pooh-poohed the friendship bracelet Kohaku had given me…


But jealous? Sesshomaru? Jealous because he thought Kohaku was becoming closer to me than he was??


I watched him choke, strangle, and cough as my accusation caused him to react and a smile touched the corners of my mouth - I simply couldn’t help it! YSessSesshomaru’d kissed me, he’d told me he LOVED me - though he hadn’t admitted just HOW he categorized that love. But JEALOUS? SESSHOMARU???


“Sesshomaru!”, I cried, euphoria sweeping me out of my doldrums and anger. I threw my arms around his neck and held on tight, pressing kisses to his cheeks, the sides of his hair and his ears as he struggled to get free. Finally, grabbing both my arms, he put them behind my back and leaned over me, his face a soft blushing pink as he tried mightily to remain stern faced.


“I am jea jealous! I’m watching out for you.”, he said, daring me to challenge him. I decided to keep it to myself then. If it caused him that much consternation, I would hold the very fact in my secret heart to pull out when I was alone and could enjoy it properly.


Sesshomaru was JEALOUS!!


“Rin?”, his gruff voice broke through my fantastic revelation and blinking I snuggled against him, laying my cheek against his strong chest. The beating of his heart comforted me and slowly I eased one of hands from his waist to his belly, resting it there as if I had the right to. After what I’d been through in the past 24 hours, I sure as heck thought I deserved a little comfort from my fiercely overprotective tiger!


“You still mad at me?”, I asked softly, my index finger gently tapping against his tummy.


“No. I’m not mad. I’m just worried, Rin. Just worried. I have to leave again for two weeks - we’re leaving on Thursday, you know? Whose gonna watch over you then?”, he asked, resting his cheek atop my head.


“I’ll behave.”, I said, gently poking my finger into his belly button now. The softness of his t-shirt felt nice underneath my fingertip and he wasn’t making me stop so I reckoned he was deriving as much pleasure from it as I was… if that was possible!


He snorted and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, at last grabbing my finger and pulling it away from his tummy as he laced his fingers through mine.


beh behave? I’m beginning to think I got a little more than I bargained for that day at Sacred Heart when I walked up to this beautiful young girl who had refused up until that point to speak to anyone for months on end. What did I get myself into, Rin? Can you answer that question for me? Hmm?”, he asked, a trace of a smile in his voice as he hugged me.


And then softer than the breath of an angel… I barely heaim sim speak again…


“What exactly did you do to my heart?”