Blue moon and Red Fire

Chapter 24: Sunlight and wind

“Un...” Pain... Pain.

He couldn't be still alive... No...of course he was, he knew this not from fact that he heard his own dull thoughts, or his barely noticeable consciousness, pain was only thing that could convince him at this point. “Un...” His throat was so dry and coarse that even making that sound hurt, his head felt as if his brain was under immense pressure and was shrinking away from his skull. His chest felt as if something was standing on it, and his lungs felt torn and ragged as though he'd been breathing nothing but sand for the last few hours. His entire body ached with pain, but it seemed to stop at his waist...

Kouga let out another groan, his arm twitched at his side and slowly rose to his chest, his eye lids felt like had been plastered to his face. With a few soft shakes of his head he managed to pry them lose only to clinch them shut again when blinding sunlight flooded his vision. Sunlight! It was so warm! And bright! He'd been so cold that he'd long given up on being warm again. And here it was, so warm against his skin... A warm breeze swept across his entire form, rushing with a muffled roar in his ears, god that felt amazing...

And he was laying down. The strain in his legs from being forced to bare the weight of his body so long was gone.. Even with the pain, after so much this, was amazing. “Where...” He decided he was in a good mood, this was a good day.. .Where was he? This sunlight, this wind, he was probably somewhere in some field... He forced his eyes open, watching the burr of white sharpen into warm, distinct shapes...or at lest one, the ceiling... And there was one more thing...that scent, he could smell it so closely, Kouga paused and inhaled deeply and ignored the pain that came along with heavy breathing, just to be sure...that was...

“Kouga...Kouga!”

Kouga's ears perked when he heard Houjo's sleepy, groggy voice become suddenly sharp, assiduous, attentive. Houjo? Houjo was here!? This was an amazing day, Kouga decided, despite the pain. “H...oujo?” His voice was scratchy and rough, weak.

“Uh, Uh! Hold on!” Houjo exclaimed, Kouga heard him stumbling to his feet with a loud clatter. “Wait, don't move! I'll get you some water.” Kouga heard Houjo rush out of the room, running... Where was he? He...He couldn't be where he thought he was, it was much too warm, too bright, that place was cold and filled with gray clouds and snow, not sunlight...

Kouga heard Houjo come bolting back into the room and hastily cut into his vision, no longer wearing the black school uniform as he'd seen him in last, but in a white tee-shirt and and bluejeans shorts... how much time had passed? Houjo slipped his hand under Kouga's head and slowly lifted his head from the ground, holding a glass of water. “Here, drink this.” Houjo slowly pressed the glass against Kouga's lips and poured slowly, much too slowly for Kouga's liking...until he took his first swallow and his throat roared with pain, so torn from all of the sand and so dry the motion made him feel as though it would split open.

“!!” He coughed, nearly knocking the glass from Houjo's hand.

“Slow...take it slow...” Houjo cooed easingly, lifting the glass again. Now knowing what to expect, Kouga had little problem.

The dryness in Kouga's throat seemed to intensify having been teased with water, his thirst grew stronger. After countless glasses the dryness faded and he'd been satisfied, Houjo laid Kouga's head down on the bed again and moved back a little, speaking was much easier.

“Where am I?” Kouga asked, staring up at the ceiling, trying to piece together everything that had happened to him over the last week. The time had merged into a blur of light and darkness, cold and pain, he could barely distinguish one moment from the other, he remembered every feeling he'd had but couldn't place them.

“Souta's house.” Houjo sat down slowly on the bed beside Kouga, drawing in his legs and hugging his knees closely to his chest, positioned at the edge of Kouga's vision.

“What?” Kouga's eyes sharped in surprise, this couldn't be... With a grunt of pain he slowly began lifting his head off of the ground, his muscle felt throughly worn, as if some force had been attempting to pull them apart while he was sleeping. The dull ache suddenly became sharp and distinctive in movement, but he ignored through it, he continued to push until the entire room came into view. He was in Souta's room, tucked snuggly in his bed by a thick blanket, though contradictory the window was open. Houjo sat on the bed beside him, a thick bandage of gauze taped across his forehead, watching over him with what looked like a painful reserve, Kouga could almost feel the excited energy welling up inside the boy. Why was he holding back? He'd missed that energy, the observational, curious eyes and the studying demeanor of one that always wanted to know more. He never realized how much he would miss it.

Everything was bright with golden sunlight, Kouga had never seen the room so clearly, he was so used to the dimness of a cloudy atmosphere that this was almost unreal to him. Out side he could see blue skies patched with light, thick, fluffy clouds floating around the golden sun, not a trace of snow in sight. “What....what happened?”

Houjo glance over his shoulder, a small smile gracing his lips as he reaffirmed new settings outside. “Amazing isn't it? Me and Souta had to come back to get a few things and everything was a soggy mess, you should see what happened down stairs.” He let out a soft laugh to himself.

“How did you...” Kouga's voice trailed off and he stared up at the ceiling, his expression holding an astonished questioning. Kiss...that kiss.... a distressing tension rose in side of him, making his already weak muscles taunt. ”Inuyasha? Is he alright?” Kouga asked. Normally he would have been careful to sound more disregarding, his voice wouldn't have been as craving for such knowledge, his expression wouldn't have been so...concerned.

“Yeah, fine.” Houjo nodded. “He's around here somewhere.”

Kouga felt himself relax again, his mind racing, he was alright? “Hn...” He wondered how he was doing... that arm, how was that arm? “How did we get here?” Inuyasha, it had to be him, he must have woken up, he must have carried him. Inuyasha was always like that, he was always the one who saved everybody...Kouga hated that, every time Inuyasha did something he should have been able to, every time Inuyasha....the dulling feeling of weakness became worse and worse. Of course it was Inuyasha, it was always--

“Me and Souta pulled you out.” Houjo felt the small smile on his lips grow wider, a glorious energy burst through his body, building so strongly that it was hard to contain, making him want to shout out, to move compulsively.

“W...What?” Kouga stared up at him, his mouth hanging open in speechless awe. “You two? You guys-”

“Yup!” Houjo nodded, feeling throughly proud of himself, and even better now that Kouga knew of his accomplishment, he clinched his hands tightly into his fist, trying to relinquish the feelings of bursting energy. This was the best he'd felt since all of this started, even with the inhibiting pain in his back, and his constantly throbbing head. “It was hard, but we carried you guys all the way back, it took us 4 day, and you were asleep for another after that. I was afraid I'd have to start force feeding you.”

Kouga's expression queered into a confused thoughtfulness, force...feeding? He didn't know what that was but it didn't sound pleasant...speaking of feeding. Kouga gently both of his hands on his stomach, he felt like it was trying to swallow itself. “I'm hungry. Anything to eat around here?”

“Ah!” Houjo's face illuminated as if he'd just realized an important fact, he practically lept out of the bed. “I'll go make you something.” Kouga could see it in Houjo's movements, in the way he stood with an unnatural motion, the way he walked unusually upright. The boy was in a fair amount of pain, he wondered what happened to him.

Kouga smiled softly, just the thought of food made the pains grow worse with longing and anticipation. “Thanks.” Now that Houjo was no longer pinning them down, Kouga curiously began lifting the covers (even they felt heavy with his diminished strength.) and looking over himself, the parts he could see that is. He'd been cleaned throughly, all of his wounds had been meticulously sterilized and bandaged, this kind of neatness and care could have only come from Houjo. “Where's Souta?”

Houjo paused, feeling a tense stiffness in his arms and a cloudiness in his entire body that could only be relinquished in a stretch and a yawn. He had to settle for the latter of the two, the pain in his back howled when ever he extended himself past a certain point. “Downstairs, cleaning up.”

Souta...Kouga took in a deep breath and sighed, wondering how the boy had faired since he'd seen him last. If Houjo was in this condition, what must have happened to Souta? How was he...”Hn.” Kouga clinched the covers and pushed them back...”?” He was plaining to slide his legs over the side of the bed and find his balance, it should have worked out that way. “What the hell...” How the hell did he manage to over look this?

A shaky cord was struck inside Houjo and froze at the door, feeling his heartbeat grow harder and his stomach began to tremble. He was nervous, overly nervous, and had been for some time now, he could only hope the sinking feeling was merely his overreacting. He heard Kouga's voice and knew something bad was happening, almost reluctant to look back over his shoulder. “What is it?”

Kouga grunted as he slowly lifted his head, propping himself up onto his elbows as best he could to support himself. “I can't...I can't feel my legs.” Kouga stared down at his lower body, willing his legs to move with everything that he had, each second his glare intensified and his eyes trembled with a subtle fear. “I can't move um...” The air became heavy, hard to breathe, each breath caused his lungs to ache and feel as though they'd fall apart ...

Houjo hastily made his way back over to the bed. “Hey, hold on.” Houjo urged, hoping to calm down the wolf growing more panicked every second. He wasn't sure what to do, what this meant , but the nervous, anxious part of him felt convinced that this was something he could somehow fix or at least ease right now, Dispite the fact that he could really do nothing. He laid both hands on Kouga's legs, squeezing softly. “Can you feel that?”

“I don't feel anything...” For a moment Kouga could only lay there in a complete void, temporally in shock, his mind couldn't seem to process it, it didn't seem to understand, nothing felt possible, real... He couldn't escape could he? First that hole, now this...he should have known it, he couldn't feel his legs then either. “No...No,no,no.” This couldn't be happening.

“Calm down Kouga.” Houjo pleaded tensely, lifting his hand easingly. But it did no good, he could see the lost, almost fearful forlorn gaze in his blue eyes, as if he was staring something immensely horrible right in the face. '...Kouga...' Houjo quickly realized it, maybe he was, maybe Kouga saw a horror in this that Houjo couldn't ever fully comprehend. That he reacting from a complex of feelings, experiences and self truths that it may have been impossible to dissuade him from or understand. “No way Kouga, don't jump to conclusions.”

With a sudden, unexpected motion, Kouga pushed Houjo back and refused his help, already ashamed in a way that Houjo had to do so much for him, that he saw him in weakness. Silently, frantically he began to move towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey Kouga, wait a minute!” Houjo protested. “Just calm down!”

“Damnit...” Kouga ignored him, grabbing onto the side of the bed and struggling to pull himself to the edge. He was weaker then he first thought, and his body ached more and more with each motion. “Un...” With clear struggle, he managed to drag his lifeless legs until they fell over the side of the bed, he felt nothing but the pull of weight and a chilling numbness a sensation all it's own.

“Kouga don't-”

With out heeding a single word from Houjo, Kouga pushed himself up off the ground, feeling for a moment his body come nearly to full length, but his waist was propped on something strange and unknown where his legs used to be. The lifeless appendages had no strength or control to balance the new weight and he quickly caved under his own weight, falling to his knees.

Kouga felt so empty and beaten as he fast first to the floor. He heard the sound of the Houjo running towards him not so softly. The boy stood above him, he could feel his eyes on him. He was alone, profoundly, inescapable. He rolled on the floor and felt as if he could easily cry, wondering what it was that had hold of him, why he was here. He didn't make a sound.

“Kouga...” Houjo knelt down beside him, winching at the quick movement that agitated his back, and hastily rolled the wolf on to his back, reassessing him for injuries. “Are you ok?”

Again no response came, Kouga only stared upward with that same futile, fearful look in his eyes, his mouth hanging open in pure horrifying astonishment. “...”

Houjo sighed, resting his hands on Kouga's shoulders and staring down at him with a profound worry. He could still feel his heart pounding in his chest and a twinge of sweat forming on his skin, even now he was still nervous, uneasy, anxious. As though something else would happen. The image of the bruised and bloody Kouga falling from that cliff running through his mind like sand, quick and dry as it had done for the countless time. Making him nervous and uneasy again.“You can't do things like that.” He said softly, struggling to think of a way to calm him down, to convince Kouga that everything was fine, everything was alright, Houjo had thought so from the moment Kouga had awakened, why couldn't Kouga find a similar enlightenment? What things must have been running through Kouga's head that he probably would never understand no matter how much he tried, what was it that made him panic like that, and now become so...so... “Not yet, your too weak, just calm down.”

Kouga's eyes lifted and found Houjo's, his mouth slowly closed and the questioning expression left his face, as if he became sure of something, or gave up completely. “Houjo...” His arms became lose at his sides and he became completely still, taking in deep, quiet breaths. He was surprised that he was not afraid. Under it all some part of his mind was beginning to stand aside; he was going behind his defenses, his wall, looking out with sullen stares of contempt. He was outside himself now. “...I didn't think you'd actually come, not so soon anyway...” He said, still searching the boy's eyes. He looked so worried...Houjo always worried, maybe it was because he was always thinking...”Why'd you come after us so fast?”

Houjo laughed, one of relief, of relinquished tension and nervousness. He could see the uncharacteristic deadening in Kouga's eyes by the was too relieved by the fact Kouga had calmed down to take much notice of what it meant. ”When we woke up and you guys weren't there, we kinda figured it out.”

Kouga smirked, though it seemed incomplete, almost empty even. “I should have known...”

Houjo's smile dulled slowly, he sat down beside Kouga and crossed his legs, his eyes fixed on the Youkai. “...You should have told me...” His smile faded completely and his head sunk slowly, his voice assumed a sullen tone when he spoke. “...You could have at lest told me you were leaving.”

“I couldn't.” Kouga pleaded, contesting the implication without hesitation. “I'm sorry but I couldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I knew you would have gone after me.” Kouga said. “And I couldn't-”

“Then what was the point of letting me come with you in the first place?” Houjo protested, growing angry and frustrated with tension built long before this moment. This must have been why he felt so nervous, so many tense feelings, this frustration. “You...I could have helped you.” Maybe if he was there, maybe that would have made a difference, maybe it would have been just enough to have prevented all of this from happening.

“You would have gotten killed.” Kouga argued. A guilt swelled up inside of him, laying stagnant with all of the other tormenting sensations he'd had the moment he left...

“You almost died. We barely found you guys...” Houjo felt his eyes start to burn and his throat began to tighten painfully, he could feel the heat of a grief stricken flush creeping over his form.

“I'm...sorry...” Kouga apologized genuinely, though his voice clearly retained a clause like property that told of the unfinished nature of his words. He hated this, seeing Houjo like this, knowing the crushing anxiety and depressing uncertainty he put the boy. He was sure Houjo resented him a little for that, he clearly was angry, such feelings always breed anger. “But I couldn't, I couldn't let you go, and I'd do it every time! I couldn't-”

“It wasn't your choice!” Houjo half shouted, he couldn't explain how worried, how helpless he'd felt, how horrible that feeling was. “I thought you were dead!....” Houjo dropped his head again, his voice falling back to lower levels, he didn't want to shout, even if the pint up feelings of restless anger, resentful helpfulness and complete confusion willed him to. But he quickly lost the battle of retention. “If you were gonna just leave me me then you should have just left me here in the first place! Why'd you take me all that way just to abandon me?!”

“Damnit Houjo! Cause' I love you!” It came out quick and hard, like everything else he'd said, and it struck with the same intensity. Kouga was never one to hold back. “I couldn't let you go and get yourself killed! I'd die first! I can't...I can't lose you Houjo...you...” Kouga laid there, completely void, his mouth hanging open, trying to produce words that his mind seemed incapable of bring into existence. Finally frustration pushed him to his limit and he looked away silently, an inarticulate, baffled, ragged anger.

Houjo didn't respond, he sat watching Kouga thoughtfully, his anger dulling away in favor for the understanding he always sought. Kouga always wanted to protect him, feverishly at times, he should have know Kouga wouldn't hesitate to do anything if it meant keeping him safe...Houjo never really understood it, why he was like that? Now that he knew a little more about Kouga it was clearer to him, for someone who'd lost his entire pack, it was probably natural for him to be protective of some he loved...Houjo tried his best to repress the smile that was forcing it's way to his lips, he felt so excited that he could have burst out in a fit of laughter even though nothing was funny. “Thanks.” This some how made it all forgivable, Houjo never was able to stay angry for very long.

Kouga felt the same smile fighting to force it's way out, it was like a twitch or a spasm, something he could barely control. “Heh.” This wasn't so bad, at lest Inuyasha hadn't saved him, he was too proud of Souta and Houjo to feel any any aversion over his inability to escape on his own. It was astounding to him that they had done something like this, he could hardly believe it. They were weak and had their own share of faults, being human and lack of strength to name a few, but still were able to pull it off. “So, did you win?”

“Hn.” Houjo nodded. “Both times.”

“Two?”

“Yeah.” Houjo smiled, feeling the excitement of a small child explaining an unbelievable tale to proud parents. “There was this bear, only it had tentacles coming at out it's back.” He tried not to sound to roused. “And then we had to fight that monster, you should have seen Souta, he's braver then he looks.”

Kouga smirked sheepishly.“I always knew it.”

“You should have let us come, we might have helped.”

“Maybe next time I will.”

Houjo let out a heavy breath, full of stress he was happy to let go of. He slipped his arms around Kouga's waist. “Let me help you up.” The moment he uttered those worse, Kouga pushed him back, though the repulsion was weak, it was enough to drive back the unexpectant Houjo. “Kouga? What are you-”
Kouga folded his arms and tilted his head away, his eyes fixing themselves out of the window. They never meet again with Houjo's. “I'm fine.” He said, his voice became suddenly firm and his demeanor defensive with out a word or or hint of an explanation, the last thing he wanted to give was an explanation of his actions or let on his motives. ”I'll get back on my own.”

The sudden change confounded Houjo, his mind staggered, trying to figure out what brought this on. “But Kouga you couldn't possibly--”

“Damnit, just leave me alone!” Kouga growled, snapping at him with a quick and fierce glare before cutting his vision away again to the window.

“K-Kouga!” Houjo was taken back, caught completely off guard. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden? “What's wrong with you? Why are you screaming at me?”

“Just...” Kouga felt a surge of anger boiling in him, just as the one he felt when he'd spoken to Ginta and Hakkaku that night, and Inuyasha the one after it. He was struggling to control his feelings, hating Houjo violently as he'd Ginta and Hakkaku because he knew he was hurting him; as he'd wanted to lash out at Houjo because the boy's wide, incredulous stare made him feel a hot guilt to the very core of himself. There was this unbearable building of stress and utter frustration that he wanted desperately to stop. He couldn't control it, it just burst out of him in a bitter rage, “Just leave me alone.” He was bitter, weak, helpless. When Houjo said those words to him, when he acted like Houjo and offered his help unsuspectingly, Kouga was horribly ashamed, feeling his own weakness in it's entirety that his life had somehow been full of nameless wrong, an unatonable guilt. It was... there were things he'd never get over.

“Kouga...” Houjo slowly climbed to his feet, staring down at Kouga with a periling perplexity and a sinking feeling of growing depression spouted from worry. A downward spiral of obsessive ruminations formed in his mind, why? Should he just leave him like this? Did he have a choice. Houjo swallowed hard and slowly retreated to the recesses of the doorway. “What's wrong with you?” He had to ask.

“...” A question to which he got no response.

“...”

! - ! - !

This had to be the most horrible string of things that had ever happened to him. Souta could barely believe it all. The boy felt as though he was doomed to suffer some horrible fate, no matter what he did to try and change it, to make things better. He felt an ultimate futility in his movements, his actions, everything, it was depressing really, he'd internalized the fact that no matter what he did he would suffer some retribution by his parents, or by that monster fixed on him, or by who knew what. This feeling felt deeper then just his normal emotions, he felt this one the same level that he saw the Shikon Jewels with,on the same level that he heard voices when he was trying to sleep with out his ears, on the same level that he saw things and questioned if they were real.

Souta paused at the step next to last, kneeling down to roll up the legs of his pants beyond the knee. Barefoot and shirtless, Souta steeped down into the first floor living room and entered flooded waters nearly up to his knees. “Oh man...” He repeated to himself for the countless time as he looked around at pooled waters. He could only stare at the gaping hole in the wall where the window used to be, where most of the water had entered. He'd managed to block it off with whatever he could to keep more water from entering, Souta was astounded as to how wet it was outside, it looked as if a tidal wave had hit everything below the second floor.

He wondered about his mother more then ever, he wondered where she and his grandfather were exactly, what they were doing now. He'd lost the ability to get in touch with them with the phone lines out, and the power for that matter, with the snow melted, for all he knew they could be on there way right now. It was more of an aspect of fear that made him think of them now that the thought about it.

Inuyasha leaned casually against the wall, silent. He'd been unusually quiet for a while now, ever since he'd awoken, Souta couldn't comprehend the reason, nor did he care, he was perfectly contented to have Inuyasha back alive. That relief, that comfort sustained him so basically he didn't see past the surface, he barely noticed the change in Inuyasha's demeanor. He still could barely fight off the urge to reach out and hug Inuyasha as tightly as he could and cry to relieve all of the feelings that built up inside of him he still felt. “...” Inuyasha's bare arm was cradled in a sling, only regaining the barest sensation in the last few hours, though he was still unable to move it. He was wearing nothing but his pants, exposing nearly all of the bandages wrapped around wounds only now beginning to recover, he'd been so weak and lacking energy that his body couldn't even heal before.”So what are you gonna do?” He asked.

The air was hot and moist, muggy, hard to breath, which his why Souta long since had abandoned his shirt. But the water was still cold, retaining most of the snow and ice's temperature, he could feel a small current brushing past him as the water slowly moved towards the basement stairs, which he'd also bared off as best he could. Some of the lighter furniture floated around, other things had tipped over. “We have to move all this stuff some place so it can dry off...” Souta said, “Upstairs maybe.” He promptly grabbed a hold of a small table a lamp had been sitting on, hoisting it out of the water with some trouble, since his arms could barely fit around it all.

Inuyasha watched with subtitle amusement as Souta trudged through the water towards the stairs, trying not to let the table fall. “Got it?” Inuyasha finally asked.

“Yeah, un-huh.” Souta protested. Inuyasha slipped past the boy and headed for some of the heavy items, such as the couch, which worried the boy. “Hey, your arm, you think you really should be...” His words promptly trailed off when he saw Inuyasha slip his hand underneath the sofa, using the wall as leverage, and lifted it on to his shoulder. “Oh...”

Inuyasha also carried away a few chairs, a 2 tables and whatever else he could fit a single arm around. Souta carted off 3 lamps, 4 plants, a load of smaller items, and whatever else he could fit his arms around.

“...” Souta stood at the same spot at the bottom of the stairs, looking uneasily at the empty room, and all of it's retained fluid. “How are we supposed to get all of this out of here?”

“?” Inuyasha merely shrugged. He wasn't nearly as opposed to the water, it was cool, counteracting the temperature and the unusual warmth returning familiarly to him. The effects of heat began to return in full force, maybe even worse because of the last week's delay. Hormones, that had to be it, he reasoned, that had to be the reason he kissed...Inuyasha felt a shutter, an awkward embarrassment creep up in a heat of it's own, he shook his head, it was just better not to think about it, to shove it to the back of his mind and forget it ever happened. If only it wasn't seared into his memory...

“Inuyasha?” Souta looked up at him queerly, observing the strange, uneasy look on his face and wondering what could have brought it about. “Are you ok?”

“Uh! Yeah! No problem.” He quickly responded with a shaky, tense voice but quick voice, lifting his hands defensively and forcing a more normalized expression on to his face. He quickly felt persecuted, as though Souta suspected something grandly horrible from him, making something already painfully awkward for Inuyasha even worse. He began to hate Kouga more then usual, he felt strongly that this wolf was to blame for the confusion of feelings in his head. 'Damnit! Just because I can't stop thinking about it doesn't mean he is to!' He growled at himself, hoping to shake the thoughts from his head, to wipe the memory from existence completely. It was tormenting him. “What about the water.” He quickly changed the subject.

“Oh...well...” Souta paused when he heard a small shifting sound, followed quickly by the loud clatter of metal from the kitchen. It wasn't more then a few seconds later did he see a pot slowly drifting past, moving of it's own momentum and following the current. “Oh man...” Souta repeated, slowly picking up the pot with dread.

“What? It's not like you can't clean it up.”

“No it's not that.” Souta shook his head, looking over the pot almost as if seeing it for the first time. “I think this is the only way we're gonna be able to get the water out.” Souta scraped the pot against the water's surface and scooped up a portion of it. “Great! This is gonna take forever!” Souta was certain of it now, he must have done something horrible during his life, because he seemed to be bound for some ultimate retribution, he was dead once his mother and grandfather got home, or Kagome for that matter. His stomach sank and his expression dawned the same doom he was feeling.

“Not if we really work at it.” Inuyasha tried to reassure him, this seemed no larger then some of the other tasks he'd been charged with through out his life. “Besides, it could be worse, the water could be higher.”

Souta was reminded of his short stature and knew what Inuyasha meant, the water could have been over his head easily, he almost took offense. “I guess so.” Souta trudged with large, sloshing steps, the water splashing audibly with each movement, until he reached the door. It had been sealed shut, pinned by the water and he was unable to move it with his own strength. No matter how hard he pulled, he couldn't seem to gain the traction or draw up the resistance to pry it open. Houjo had also been unsuccessful. How could he possibly have hoped to open it, with ultimate retribution working against him and such. “Hey Inuyasha, you think you can get this door open?”

Inuyasha casually gripped the doorknob with his only applicable hand and pulled it back, making it seem a simple task. A wave of water was thrown upwards as Inuyasha drew it against the push of the water, the upward wave of cold water crashed into Souta and took him over. The small boy was easily swept off of his feet and crashed onto the floor, he was nearly drawn out the door in the new river of receding water.

Inuyasha couldn't help but laugh in uninhibited amusement. “You look like a drowned cat.”

Souta bolted upright in a fit of sputtering coughs, quickly wiping the water from his eyes and the wet hair from his face. “Not funny~!”

Inuyasha grabbed his arm and pulled him up on to his feet. “This shouldn't be too hard, see look, half the water's gone.” The water level had dropped about that distance, mixing with the muddy water outside and trickling slowly down the shrine stairs into the flooded streets. “You worry too much. We can knock this out in no time flat.”

The water only raised to his shins now, it was easier for Souta to walk, but still his steps were weighted. Well...maybe they could do this, maybe if they worked hard enough, and persistently, they could clear every bit of this up. Souta smiled, feeling a chilling shutter working it's way up his spine from the cold water, “Think so?”

“Yeah.” Inuyasha softly scratched at his half-lifeless arm, looking down at Souta with a proud satisfaction. “I know what you can do, and this, we can do in half a night, easy.” Inuyasha leaned his back against the wall, slowly sinking down to the floor until he felt the cool waters around his waist. “I always knew you were brave.”

“Huh?” Souta's eyes rolled toward the ceiling in thought, “What do you mean?”

Inuyasha tilted his head to the side in mild annoyment, quickly remembering why he hated saying things like this. “Don't tell me you forgot already.”

Wait, he couldn't mean *that* could he? For some reason what Inuyasha was clearly talking about didn't register to him as the subject. Inuyasha couldn't have possibly have been suggested he'd been brave then, not if he'd known just how afraid he was. “Oh...that.” Souta looked away uneasily, shifting in that shy manner as he always did. “I wasn't brave, I was so scared I could hardly move.” He felt embarrassment like the heat of a spot light shining down on him, he was too ashamed of himself to think about it. “I was terrified the whole time.”

Inuyasha searched Souta's face curiously, waiting for something that never happened, his annoyment grew stronger. “Stop doing that.” Inuyasha commanded forcefully, it amazed him how a boy Souta's age could lack spirit in such things. He constantly underestimated himself to a level where he couldn't see what abilities he possessed and his own potential. He could see where he needed to work on Souta the most.

Souta slowly lifted his head and his eyes meet Inuyasha's in a shaky connection.

“You were fine, give yourself some credit, your still a kid.” Inuyasha told him. “I heard you did pretty good for yourself.”

Souta passively looked away but quickly reminded himself to look back as Inuyasha often commanded, he spoke weakly, timidly, full of doubt. “I barely did anything, I was so afraid-”

“But you did it though, right? You did everything you could didn't you?”

“Well yeah, but-”

Inuyasha smirked, again finding amusement in Souta. “What the hell do you think bravery is?” Inuyasha nearly laughed. “You wouldn't be brave if you weren't afraid at some point, that's how it works.”

“Really?” Souta asked, his eyes holding a hopeful questioning, searching for something redeeming, that would give him some semblance of self-worth. This was something he'd have to find before he could face that monster or anything else again:pride and a humility would have to be born for the first time in him. He had to build a connection between the strength he wanted and the strength he had, his personality was warped in away. He was unable to realistically see the reasons for his weakness, to see that power and skill wouldn't come as quickly as he thought it should, unable to believe any praise given to him, and he wanted desperately to gain power and be useful. He felt so beaten down and useless, with no self worth, having always needed to be protected, always being a hinderance. He had to form something, the basis for a new hope that would function in him as the pride and dignity he was sorely lacking. He was always searching for that thing, for some approval, validation from those he admired and longed to be like and also from inside of himself so that he could accept it and take it to heart. Such approval would be one step closer to such an aspiration, to being brave and strong, to be looked on proudly, to know his existence merited worth because he could something of worth.

“Yeah, of course.” Inuyasha gently reached his hand out and ruffled Souta's hair.

Souta smiled, feeling his wet hair fall back into place.”Your pretty brave Inuyasha, so does that mean your afraid of somethings?”

“I'm not afraid of anything.” Inuyasha boasted

Souta couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Inuyasha climbed to his feet, feeling the water shift around him and drip off of him. “So, you ready to do this?”

Souta nodded, since he was already wet he had no problem kneeling down to pick up the steel pot before it drifted out of the door. “Yeah.”

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

“Damnit...” Kouga bit down on his lip and grunted softly, taking in deep, harsh, fatigued breaths. He lunged his arm out and reached forward as far as he could extend himself, clinching handfuls of the carpet with strain as he began pulling himself forward. He'd barely made it halfway to the door in all of these hours, having passed out twice. His weak arms ached with each movement, growing more and more tired, but he didn't care about that, right now, he didn't care about anything else.

Kouga reached up and grabbed onto the side of the bed with one hand, taking a hold of the windowsill with the other. “Come on...” His face contorted in pain and his muscles began to tremble so strongly that he felt they'd fall apart. His body raised halfway off the ground and was suspended there, if only he could move his legs! Damnit! Why didn't they work? “Un...” He sucked in a hissing breath, feeling his grip growing weaker and weaker. He put everything he had into willing his legs to move, every ounce of will, every inch of his heart, but they remained dead weight, still “!!” Finally the last bit of his strength slipped through his fingers like leaking water, his arms gave way and he fell to the ground in a loud clatter.

He gasped, struggling to catch his breath which fled from him much to easily, and caused much to much pain when recovering. He clinched his hands into tight fist, laying helplessly in a sweaty mass. His chest felt as though he'd been stabbed a thousand times with each inhalation “Fuck!” He shouted breathlessly, pounding his fist against the ground in futility and withering in pain. He couldn't take this! Damnit! He didn't want to be like this! 'If this is it then I should have just died in that goddamn hole!' An all consuming anger boiled inside him, he could feel it burning through him stronger then he'd ever felt it.

In an explosive burst Kouga grabbed on to the edge of the bed with both hands, his claws digging into the sheets. He pulled himself up on to his knees and kept trying, despite the pain. “No dammit no!” He grunted, feeling as though his lungs had been torn to shreds in one breath, the sand, it must have been that goddamn sand. It couldn't be like this! No way in hell! The desperate notion repeated itself inside of his head over and over like an alarm, that all he had to do was keep trying, and then some invisible lock would be realized and he'd feel something again. Then he'd be able to move, it was like a warning of danger not to stop. He couldn't be like this for the rest of his life! He couldn't...

The support from his legs never came, his weak arms slipped, and for the countless time he fell flat on to his back. “!” The invisible lock was as tight as ever, he couldn't comprehend it, how he couldn't he feel his legs, how couldn't he move even a toe? How could every part of him be in pain but he couldn't even feel them. “No way! No fucking way!” He had to feel something, there was no way he couldn't. The sensation just wasn't strong enough, yeah that was it! Maybe his legs were still numbed by the cold underneath the skin! Or maybe his injuries were bad enough numb him a good deal, but still, there had to be some feeling, something!

He needed a feeling strong enough to get through! Kouga lifted his fist and pounded it into his left leg, but all he felt were the sharp vibrations shooting up into his waist something one could almost mistake for actual sensation. “!” He growled in frustration, no too soft, he needed something harder. He couldn't be like this! He couldn't stand it, anger flared up inside of him irrationally, he needed something stronger, something he could feel! In a red haze of anger and desperation he unclenched his fist and jabbed his claws into the same leg.

There was no pain, nothing jarringly sharp, no vibrations, Kouga sat there in an expectant void, almost in shock. He waited, still holding the notion that the feeling would come, that it was merely delayed, it was coming...it was coming...The scent of his blood struck his noise hard enough to make him flinch, effectively bringing him back to his senses, it wasn't coming. He lifted his hand from his leg and examined it with mouth gaping like a curious child, the red, sticky, fluid was warm as ever, streaking down his claws. “...” He was losing his mind...

“...” His hand fell back to the bed, his arms ached so badly that he couldn't lift them from his sides. He still felt the anger swelling inside of him so strongly he wanted to roar out as loud as he could, but he had no breath, that made him want to strike something as hard as he could, but he was too weak, to leave and clear his head, but he couldn't move his legs.

Kouga just laid there, staring up at the ceiling, with only the residual feeling of blood and fresh and the lingering, stagnant knowledge that he was irrepressibly pitiful to accompany him. He writhed in pain from his chest, from each breath. He felt trapped again, that this room was small, confining, and slowly but surely, with each failure the walls drew closer and closer in on him. “...” He could feel blood flowing through his arm as if new, like a cool breeze on strained muscles. When he could move them again he rolled over onto his side, pulling his legs close to his chest and hugging them there, gasping with trembling, broken breathes.

His ears twitched, and he finally heard how horrible he sounded, he almost couldn't believe it was himself. They sounded like sobs, like scared, pitiful sobs...oh my god he really sounded like that!

Yeah, his mind was most definitely going. He'd been screaming at Ginta and Hakkaku for no reason for months, then he'd finally snapped and hit them, then he snapped again in front of Inuyasha, then he some how manged to kiss him, then this happened. “...” He slowly lifted his hand to his cheek and felt the tickling twinge of something light, wet. It was the blood, it must have...”?” He pulled his hand back and saw a clear wetness, no, wasn't blood, it was tears. Was he crying? Really? Kouga stared curiously at his hand and again felt the twinging wetness again on his other cheek. For the second time he was crying and didn't even realize it, his body was moving completely absent from himself, just like when the anger over took him, and now when this sorrow did, he couldn't control it. It was as if the two were separate entities. “Hn...”

Yeah, he was losing it.

The problem was here, here with himself, here in this room, and he would solve it here alone or not at all. Yet, Kouga did not want to face it; it frightened him.

! - ! - !

The sun fell, taking most the excessive, unseasonable warmth with it. The temperature didn't drastically plummet back to normal as Houjo expected, a mild heat remained, and a warm breeze swept frequently through the open window frame in the living room. Houjo slowly eased himself down on to the third step, the only dry place on the first floor. “Man...this is hard work.” Houjo lend backwards, propping his elbows on the step behind him. He paused, feeling the tension in his arms and legs fade and his breath normalize, listening to the water that he was suppose to be clearing out. The bucket he was using sat below him, dripping with wet.

Inuyasha dropped a bucket he was using in the water and leaned against the wall beside the stairs, subconsciously gripping at his bandaged arm hanging against his chest. “Too much for you?” He smirked with light amusement at how tired Houjo had gotten.

Houjo smiled and rubbed the back of his head, “I didn't think it would be so hard, we've been at it for hours.” Houjo glanced through the railing and watched with slight awe as Souta scooped up a pot full of water, trudged over to the door where the water was shallow and tossed it out. “That doesn't seem to be slowing Souta down through, I had no idea he had so much energy.”

Inuyasha nodded. “He's determined when he wants to be.” He was reluctant to do anything more then watch, Souta was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't even noticed they'd stop. “...” Inuyasha glanced away nervously, when a familiar thought came back into his mind, he couldn't even bare to look at Houjo for fear he'd reveal something without realizing it.

Houjo let out a deep breath. “...I'm worried about Kouga.”

Either Houjo could read his mind or they'd both had the same thought. “...” Inuyasha remained silent, unresponding, unmoving, but silently and timidly giving his arguable agreement. He made no motion to change or stray away from the subject, and his evasive demeanor that came over him when Kouga was mentioned gave a silent answer to a question unasked.

Houjo looked up at Inuyasha for a moment, then let his eyes wonder around. A warm breeze swept through the open window frame and washed over his entire form like a silky sheet sliding over his body. The darkness was deep and covered nearly everything inside the house, the entire city was still dark, the power had yet to be restored which at the moment was good for them with all of the water. A considerable amount of light came brightly from beyond the door and windows, the sky was brighter then ever with more stars then Houjo had ever seen in his life, even the moon was brighter. Not a single cloud bared an inch of vision, by all means it was breathtaking. Houjo stared, listening to the sound of the water sloshing around, and noted that it almost sounded like the ocean... “He's awake you know.”

Inuyasha's expression flashed a quick surprise, a questioning interest, but he quickly lowered his head and closed his eyes with a passive indifference. “Is that so.” He retorted. “So where is he?”

“He's still upstairs.” Houjo sighed, nodding. “He can't feel his legs,and he can't walk.”

“W-What?” Inuyasha looked up at him fully, he forgot himself and his true interest showed through. “Really?”

“He really freaked out about it, but he wouldn't even let me help him.” Houjo watched the stars flicker , fading with dimness and then burst in to a bright, distant light, the moon cast a reflective, silver glow over the wet horizon of the city. “I tried to help him up and he just push me away.”

Inuyasha felt a relief wash over his form like cool air, it felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of his chest. He couldn't help but smile. “Stubborn bastard, he'll be fine.” Kouga was just as prideful as he was, there was no way he'd let anyone help him, and for that reason Inuyasha had the utmost faith that Kouga would be alright, if he'd let Houjo help him then he'd have stared to worry.

“You really think so?” Houjo asked, wanting to believe but still skeptical. “He's still hurt pretty badly.”

“Tch, like he hasn't been before.” Inuyasha retorted callously. “Just let him be.”

Houjo closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of the warm, wet air as another breeze swept through the room, creating streaming ripples across the dark water's surface. “Sure?”

“Yeah.” Inuyasha nodded, folding his arms across his chest and shifting his eyes toward the window frame. He couldn't stop himself from thinking of Kouga, more frequently then ever now. He could only stand to go and see him when he knew the wolf was asleep, and never stayed long for fear that he'd wake up, then the feelings of awkwardness he had just when bare thoughts of what happened floated into his mind would be infinitely worse. Inuyasha wouldn't risk putting himself through that for a second, though as much as he didn't want it, didn't want to face Kouga, some part of him longed to see the wolf. An unknown tension, stress built itself into a needing desire, and he wanted badly to relieve it, but he was too afraid. It was a simple, urgent matter of public pride, a matter of how much he wanted to see Kouga he didn't want to think about what happened, or anyone else finding out. 'Kouga...'

Souta felt the weight of the water's resistance growing stronger against his legs, what once felt like shin high water, now felt as though his whole legs were struggling against the weight. Had the water really reason in the darkness? Had it started leaking in from some unknown place? Souta moved into the rays of moonlight shining like a spotlight through the kitchen window, nope, the water was just as high as he remembered it. “...” He bent down and scooped up more of the water and trudged forward, listening to the now hypnotic sound of water splashing with his steps. He felt a familiar satisfaction when the water became more and more shallow as he came closer to the door until it was gone completely. This area of dryness was growing around the door as they cleared away more and more.

'My house must be uneven.' he reasoned sleepily, 'It must be tilted towards the back.' Yeah, that was it. Souta made quick steps over the dry area growing around the door and into the water again. It was still cold, numbing if one stood idle in side of it long enough, but Souta barely felt it. He was hot and his back had been coated with a steady level of heavy sweat for so long that he'd ceased to notice it all together. He felt a momentum had built up inside of him, making it hard to stop and rest, keeping him from wanting to all together. Maybe it was some now subtle fear of the ever ominous ultimate retribution that made him not want to stop, or maybe it was because he liked working with his hands to some degree, physical tasks were always consuming to a fair extent once one had gotten started. Maybe the notion had formed in his mind that since this was so strenuous it was like a form of endurance training, he didn't think he'd ever done so much in any of his own attempts at training as he had now.

Either way he'd worked his way into a comfortable rhythm and he wouldn't stop until he couldn't go on anymore or the task was completed. 'Maybe...if I could find away to feel like this when I'm afraid.' Souta thought to himself.