Innocent Beginnings

Innocent Beginnings
By: Maggz
Disclaimer: What can I say? I'm poor...
Author Note: Well, anr dor double update. I guess I had to leave that cliffhanger so everyone would start to review... I can't believe you, guys! Nah, I was just kidding, but I supposse I'll have to do this more often so I can get more reviews... Well, yeah I do want reviews, you spoiled me with WHWM, so it's only your fault, hehehe.

Enjoy,

Maggz

Chapter 21: Torn Between Two


With my hands tucked firmly into the back pockets of myns, ns, I watched until Kohaku’s little shit heap of a car disappeared from my sight. I closed my eyes tightly and sent up a tiny little prayer that I’d be able to handle the attitude that I could already feel oozing off Sesshomaru in waves. I hadn’t been on the receiving end of his horrid temper more than a handful of times and I was quite sure that when he had turned it on me, it had been firmly tamped down only because of who I was and what I meant to him. This time I didn’t think I’d be so lucky. In fact, I KNEW I wasn’t going to be so lucky.


“Get your fucking ass over here NOW, Rin!”, I heard him say, his voice low and trembling with anger. With a deep breath and a shiver working its way down my spine, I turned and walked back to where he’d been standing when I’d walked past him only moments before. It took everything in my power not to just drop my eyes to the ground and crawl away from the look in his golden eyed glare. I’d heard said how eyes could give off sparks, you know? But Sesaru’aru’s were literally on fire! I hitched in a breath, talking to myself in order to bolster my confidence with each step I took nearer him.


I didn’t do anything wrong. Not compared to what HE’S done! Kohaku’s my friend and he’s been here for me through a lot! Sesshomaru’s got no right to treat me like a child! Kohaku never treats me like a child! And just how RUDE was he to Kohaku??? How horribly, horribly RUDE!


Before I was within two feet of him, he suddenly reached out and snatched my arm, pulling me hard against him and back around the side of the house where nobody would happen upon us. I yelped as his fingers dug into the tender flesh of my upper arm, stumbling over my feetfeet as he ruthlessly drug me even farther beyond where we’d initially been standing.


“Let GO of me!”, I said through clenched teeth as I tried in vain to drag my feet. He was deathly silent, his face red, his eyes mere slits as he looked down at me. “I MEAN it, Sesshomaru! You’re hurting me!”, I cried, using my one free hand to shove at his chest. It was like striking an immoveabraniranite pillar, he didn’t budge nor did it seem as if it affected him in the least.


When he had drug me as far as he’d intended, he turned me toward him, grabbing both my arms in an attempt to steady us or maybe it was just to keep me from running away from him, I don’t know. At that moment, I wasn’t too sure just WHAT I would’ve done if given the opportunity and running seemed as good an option as any. He knew me well! I should’ve remembered that.


“Just WHO the fuck was that?”, he growled, releasing me long enough to stab a finger at the air over my head.


“Kohaku.”, I said, anger making my voice quake.


“I fucking KNOW that! I mean WHO the hell IS he?”, he asked, his fingers tightening their hold on my already sore upper arms.


“A friend.”, I muttered, biting my lower lip to keep from crying out in pain.


“Just how old is your friend, Rin? Hmm?”


“Kohaku’s , I , I answered defiantly. “What’s it to you?”


Sesshomaru’s eyes rapidly changed color whenever he experienced a twisting of emotions; I’drnedrned that fairly early on. But this time, the transformation was so swift that it reminded me of one of those cheesy mood rings my mom had shown me when I was a little girl. Amber-brownish now, their dark pupils nearly overtaking the entire iris, they widened as if ready to pop from within his face.


“Goddamnit!”, he snarled and for one very brief but terrifying second, I was sure he was going to turn me over his knee and give me the worst whaling of my entire life. Instead, he swiftly lowered his mouth, jamming his lips harshly into mine so hard that I could feel the pressure of my teeth against my own tender flesh. He still had me captured by my upper arms so that I couldn’t mon ann any way on my own but I soon felt the hardness of a tree trunk behind me as he pressed me into it and himself then into me.


The kiss wasn’t enjoyable or exciting, it was possessive and scary. I struggled to free myself from him, little cries escaping me at my futile attempt. If only to get a breath, his mouth finally slid off mine for a moment and in that second, his eyes locked in on my own. I don’t know what he saw there. Like I said, I’m not even sure what I was feeling at the time. But whatever it was, it stopped him cold in his tracks. His fingers eased up on me, his face relaxed and his eyes returned to their normal hue. I watched as he took a deep breath, released it and took another. He was shaking but so was I.


“I’m sorry.”, he whispered, his eyes dropping from mine as soon as he spoke. “I had no right…”, he began and then emotion was choking his throat, blocking what he was trying so hard to say. He turned his back on me, both hands raking through his hair as he started to walk away.


“Sesshomaru.”, I called, rooted to the spot but dying at the thought that he would walk away from me without so much as an explanation at his harsh behavior.


He turned to look at me and I thought I saw the sheen of tears in those eyes I loved so much. A sob hitched its way out of my chest, easing my momentary paralysis and I started toward him, first walking swiftly and then breaking into a run. He stood where he was, unmoving, his efillfilled with pain. I came to a dead stop right in front of him, my eyes mirroring the tears that I now knew for sure filled his own.


“I’m sorry.”, I said, my hands reaching for him. He grabbed them and brought them to his lips, pressing a kiss to each fist before pulling me into his arms again, but this time very gently. His chin came to rest atop my head as his hands moved through my hair. I could feel the heavy beat of his heart against my cheek.


“Kohaku’s my tutor, Sesshomaru. I should’ve told you that when I was introducing the two of you but I was so shocked to see you standing there that my mind kinda went blank.”, I mumbled into his chest.


“Yeah. I could see that.”, he answered, his voice husky.


“How long were you standing there?”, I asked, pressing my face harder into his chest.


“Long enough, Rin, long enough…”, he whispered. “Look up here at me.”


I lifted my face and looked into his eyes, reaching up to wipe a lone tear from the corner of one. He shook his head a bit impatiently, his face hardening once more into the stubborn mask he’d worn since I‘d first set eyes on him that day. Letting my hand drop back to my side, I took a step back, still holding onto his hand.


“Are you seeing him?”, he asked.


“I see him all the time, Sesshomaru.”, I said, deliberately misunderstanding the question, a fact he was more than aware of.


“You know I’m not talking about that, Rin. Answer the question.”, he said gruffly.


“No. I’m not ‘seeing’ him. He’s a friend, a good friend-”


“Obviously!”, he interrupted me, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. My temper flared at his tone! How dare he accuse me of things he had no idea of when I had proof positive lying right in my desk drawer upstairs of his behavior while he was away from me!


“What does THAT mean?”, I asked.


“Rin, don’t play thick with me! I SAW you with him!”, he groaned.


“You saw me with a close friend. YOU should understand that as well as anyone would, Sesshomaru!”, I shot back defensively. He was making me lose my cool fast and I didn’t think I could take much more.


“HE was kissing you! He had his tongue rammed down your fucking throat!!”, he hissed as he took a step toward me.


“I beg to differ, Sesshomaru. He wasn’t kissing ME, I was kissing HIM! And no, he didn’t have his tongue down my throat! At least not THIS time!”, I shouted back.


“If I see him again, Rin - if I so much as ride by and see that… that… CAR sitting in front of this house-”


“What will you do, Sesshomaru? Hmm? What will you do? I’d imagine you’re WAY too busy to worry about riding by HERE! Don’t you have somebody waiting for you back at your house?”, I asked.


Taken aback for a moment, I watched as he blinked his eyes, heard him clear his throat and saw him try to hurriedly collect himself. He rubbed a hand down over his face, looked into my eyes and cursed…


“Fuck…”


“Most likely.”, I said, hating him.


“You’ve got a mouth on you, Rin! I heard you swearing like a sailor whilst you were dancing around with your ‘tutor’.”, he said, making little arcs in the air with his fingers as he sarcastically mouthed the word at me. “I don’t like it one bit!”


“I’m sure you don’t.”, I said.


“Then stop it!”


“No.”


“NO?!”


“NO! You heard me, Sesshomaru. NO!”, I said, crossing my arms underneath my breasts as I stared him down. If he wanted a freaking contest, then that was just what he would get.


“You know about Kagura, that’s why you’re acting this way…”, he said quietly.


“I know about it. Yes. I know about what you’ve hidden from me for a LONG time while you were busy telling me how to live MY life. As for ‘acting this way’ - I hope you don’t mean my behavior with Kohaku. I hope you mean my ANGER towards YOU because Kohaku I w I weren’t putting on a show for anyone! Neither of us had a clue you were there, hiding in the bushes!”, I said.


“I was NOT hiding in the damned bushes, RIN! I merely stood by the side of the house watching you rub yourself all over your teacher. Have you slept with him?”, he asked suddenly. Sheer instinct had my hand snaking out to slap him across his face, sheer instinct had him catching my wrist and twisting it until I cried out in pain.


“Answer me! Has he bedded you?”, he asked, his breath hot in my ear as he held on tightly.


“FUCK NO!”, I yelped, beyond caring WHO might hear me and glad at the same time that nobody was home to.


“Are you lying to me? Because I’ll find out, Rin and it won’t be pretty when I do! I mean it! Did you have sex with YOUR tutor?”, he asked again.


“I said NO! Now let me go!”, I hissed, yanking at my hand until finally he allowed it to drop from his grip.


“You don’t know what you’re playing at little girl… and HE should be hung by his balls for playing around WITH you!”, he said lowly.


“Oh just hush it, Sesshomaru! You don’t have a clue what you’re ranting about. You just want to boss me around and tell me how to live my life. Well, I’ve got news for you, darling! I’ve made some changes, it’s my life to do with as I please. And since you’re off doing God knows what, God knows where, with God knows what slut - I don’t think you any any say in what I’m doing with my own life. In fact, I KNOW you don’t!”, I spat and turned on my heel, more than ready to be rid of him now.


Jerking me back, he slid an arm about my waist and held me there against him until I stopped struggling. We were both breathing hard from anger and exertion, our faces only inches apart.


“Don’t talk to me that way.”, he said, his eyes sliding helplessly to my lips. “Just don’t… you don’t know what you’re talking about, Rin. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”, he said.


“Boo-hoo-hoo!”, I smirked, feeling his arm tighten about my waist even more. I could barely breathe now as it was and he was making the process even more impossible by the minute.


“When did you get to be such a little bitch?”, he asked, his lips mere inches from mine now, so close I could feel their velvet heat.


“When you started hiding things from me.”, I said quietly. “How dare you.”


All was silent for a long minute or two before he loosened me from his grip and took one step back.


“I’ll pick you up tonight for dinner. Tell your boyfriend you’ve got plans and that they are with me. I’ll be calling your Aunt this afternoon and whether I get in touch with her or NOT…”, he raised a brow meaningfully at me. “I’ll be here and you BETTER be ready and on your best behavior.”, he said, as he turned around and walked away from me.


This time, I let him go - watching him move toward his car at his usual unhurried pace. I’d not even had the joy of just LOOKING at him this time, he’d taken that away from me as soon as he’d started in on me. My blood was still racing through my veins a million miles a second, my breath huffing through my lungs. I wanted to hate him, I wanted to find the biggest rock I could and hurl it with such force at his shiny new car that it would cause horrible damage, I wanted to scream at him to leave me alone and never come back.


I wanted him to LOVE me…