Strength

Oh wow, this is my thanks to all the wonderful people who reviewed. So many of you took the trouble to review so I had to write chapter 2 fast. Thanks soooo much. Reviews do help me feel better. :)

For those who think Chapter one was angst light, it was the start.. Warnings repeated. It gets Worse!

Read, and review..

Edited by ME!

Chapter 2 : What the Fuck do I do!

Inuyasha refused to think about it, if he did he knew he would not be able to function. He forced it aside, forced it out of his mind and focused on the battle. The battle was all that mattered. With Rin safe and Naraku without a hostage the group attacked the huge mass of energy that was Naraku. Inuyasha carved his way through Naraku's defenses, they would fight from inside the monster and destroy it from within. Demons attacked, and a flash of white slipped through the closing hole made by Tessaiga. Lord Sesshoumaru had joined the battle.

The two brothers did not acknowledge each other, but they both fought with a ferocity that had been previously missing. The force the two brother's harnessed drove the humans to the ground, as they cleaved their way through the being of Naraku.

They reached the heart of the monstrosity, Naraku's dismembered head floated at the epicenter, leering at them. The twisted being had allowed them near him, in order to spring his trap. The group pressed their attack at Naraku and none seemed to notice the arrow streaking towards Kagome's back. Just before it hit, the arrow was caught in a furious grip, Inuyasha had felt something was not right, and while to others it may not seem that way, due to the ferocity of his attacks,Inuyasha was on hyper alert to the dangers in his surroundings. He was much more careful and aware of his surroundings then usual, and he had smelled it, the master of Illusion nearby He had seen a glimmer of light on the arrow before it was released.

Inuyasha in a smooth movement sent the arrow straight back to its point of origin, catching its originator in the middle of his forehead and ending that threat then and there. Naraku's howl was of immense anger and rage. He had allowed them close to play a gambit, a gambit that he had just lost. The two Inus unleashed their attacks, it was more then an attack, it was retribution. The twisted remnants of the spider demon disintegrated. Inuyasha ignoring the raging energies around him, did not wait for Kagome to shoot the heart. He leapt straight in and drove Tessaiga into the twisted heart channeling all his rage over the past week into the attack. The explosion of the heart, threw all of them out of the dying monster.

The Shikon Jewel rose into the air swirling with energies that will never be completely cleansed.

Kagome made the last wish, and the Jewel disintegrated its power returned to the land to nature, and the world pulsed as the once ambivalent energy become part of the balancing power of nature. It was finally over.

Inuyasha, having taken the brunt of the explosion lay unconscious to one side. The group hoisted the Hanyou on to Kilala and made their way back to the village. Sesshoumaru ignored them all, stayed to cleanse the area of any remaining followers of Naraku.

When Inuyasha's eyes opened, a few hours later, the village was celebrating. Inuyasha was alone in Kaede's hut.

Naraku was dead, Inuyasha knew this in his bones. It was over, they would all be safe.

Inuyasha had never felt less like celebrating then he did at this moment. He was alive, and a rising sense of panic choked him. He was alive, what the hell was he supposed to do now. Inuyasha felt his emotions bubble to the surface, ruthlessly he thrust them aside, there was no time for him to whine. What he felt did not matter, he needed to deal with this.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, he had to do it, he had to see Sesshoumaru, there was no choice. Inuyasha's felt his body, hell, his soul shake at the thought. Dammit, he did not want to see that sadistic bastard, but what choice did he have? He felt his brother's Youki, the DaiYoukai was returning to his home and would have to pass by the village to get there. Inuyasha got out of bed, he pulled on the fire rat robe and slipped out of the hut. No one noticed the Hanyou slipping into the forest and leaping off into the night. No one that is, except the yellow Neko Youkai who decided that it was good to be curious and followed quietly behind.

Inuyasha forced himself not to think, not to remember as he intercepted the DaiYoukai. "Sesshoumaru we need to talk." Inuyasha called out. Sesshoumaru turned glaring at the Hanyou, "The is nothing that a worthless half breed has to say that this Sesshoumaru needs to hear." The DaiYoukai felt his anger rise. Seeing the smaller frame before him reminded him bitterly of his loss of control, of what he had done. Sesshoumaru had hated what he had become, he hated even more that his worthless brother had essentially saved him, and could hardly bare to think about WHAT he had put the Hanyou though so that he could be saved. Seeing the Hanyou enraged him, there was no logic in it, but the whole incident still raw and shaming; twisted inside himself burning, drowning him in his own bile. It was so much easier to have a target, to blame the blasted Hanyou for the whole mess.

"Look you bastard, I'd rather go another round with Naraku then talk to you, but you have to listen to me. There is fucking no choice! About that day...Ahhhhh." Inuyasha screamed as Sesshoumaru's hand closed around his neck and the Hanyou was slammed into a tree.

"You worthless Hanyou! I said you were NEVER TO MENTION THAT DAY! Did you enjoy your disgrace? You may have assisted in destroying Naraku, but it changes nothing. For what you allowed you are still a disgrace to the blood of InuTaisho!" Sesshoumaru's eyes bled red, he knew that he was in the wrong, but somehow taking it out on the Hanyou again, made him feel much better. Claws tightened around the slim strong neck, crimson leaked from where the claws broke surface. Choking Inuyasha held on to the hand, and refused to look away. The frank golden gaze that challenged the DaiYoukai with its innocence and strange openness, burned right through Sesshoumaru. "You disgusting Hanyou, do not dare imagine that you 'saved' this Sesshoumaru, all you did was expose your true place. How disgusting for one of my father's blood to submit as you did. Obviously you have no honor! My mistake in this was not straggling you at birth, surely a Hanyou as unworthy of the blood of Shiro Inus as you does not deserve to live. Abominations should be put down at birth!" Sesshoumaru spat the words into the Hanyou's face.

There was a strange kind of dawning horror in Inuyasha's eyes, a fear that had never been there, bloomed in the golden orbs. Sesshoumaru saw the fear, something twisted in his belly, guilt. Sesshoumaru refused to acknowledge such a weak emotion and the DaiYoukai's rage swept up to new heights. He was beyond thought.

Inuyasha saw Sesshoumaru's hand move back, aimed with deadly purpose at his abdomen. With a burst of adrenalin Inuyasha tore at the fingers around his throat, gaining his freedom, as he dropped, his brother's hand smashed just above his diaphragm. Ribs shattered as the blow tore into the Hanyou. Inuyasha was slammed against the tree once more, and as Sesshoumaru removed his hand, Inuyasha collapsed in a heap, gasping for breathe and curling into himself.

Sesshoumaru stared at the head of his collapsed brother, his teeth clenched he whispered "So unworthy. You are nothing but an embarrassment to our family." Sesshoumaru took to the air, he refused to turn. As he rushed back to the Western lands he refused to admit that his last words may not have been aimed at the Hanyou.

Inuyasha slowly checked himself. He felt a wave of relief, two ribs broken, that was nothing, he would survive this. He grasped Tessaiga as he heard a mewl, then he relaxed a little, as the massive head of Kilala broke from the bushes, and nuzzled at him. Inuyasha's relief was a living thing, this was a break that he sorely needed. He pulled himself on to the patient cat's back, and sought a little comfort by burying his face in her fur.

She mewled questioningly, as she heard a broken gasp of agony escape the Hanyou's lips.

The whisper was almost too soft for even the cat to hear, "What am I gonna do now, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?" Golden eyes swirled as they headed back to the village.

The return of the two to the village unfortunately did not go unnoticed. The gang came running up to the fire-cat, Kilala however -on Inuyasha's desperate urging- avoided the humans and headed back to Kaede's hut.

"Inuyasha what happened to you?" Kagome yelled in concern. The Miko was joyous, she had discovered that even with the Jewel no longer in existence she could pass through the well with ease. She came forward to check the Hanyou's wound.

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking TOUCH ME!" Inuyasha yelled at her backing away, he could not trust the girl anymore, he could not trust any of them. The pack which had condemned him. "Kaede, you come and have a look at this, the rest of you leave me the fuck alone."

The group look startled, but Kaede sensing something came forward, ordering them out of the room. The humans would have argued with and overruled Inuyasha but they had to obey the older Miko in her own home. Kaede tended to the wound and though she tried, could not get the Hanyou to explain what was going on. He was unnaturally quiet, thinking and there was an air about him that had not been there before. Finally Kaede could bear it no further, she grasped his chin and forced him to meet her eyes.

The only thing that made Kaede feel any sort of relief was that the Hanyou's spirit was not broken. But other then that, Inuyasha's eyes were of a man condemned. Fear, brittleness, betrayal and a lost haunted look were reflected in the golden orbs, there was also an iciness, a distance, that she had never seen before. Kaede did not know what had happened, but she knew without a doubt that they had lost the Hanyou. And she felt her heart crack. Tears filled the old ladies eyes, as she suddenly felt old, very, very old. She dropped her head on his shoulder, Inuyasha stiffened but did not move away. Gentle claws stroked her back. Inuyasha watched the fire, his mind swirling as he tired to think of a solution, he absently stroked Kaede but he said nothing, there was nothing to say.

Kaede fell asleep and Inuyasha gently covered her with a blanket. It was hours before he fell asleep. Then the dreams came...

He was walking up to the raging DaiYoukai, as soon as Sesshoumaru scented him, he ran at Inuyasha to attack. Inuyasha had forced himself to drop his sword, to drive it into the ground next to him, and drop to his knees in submission. Then the beating had begun.

To submit, among the InuYoukai meant that short of a killing blow the one submitting had to accept anything and everything meted out by the one he was submitting to. If Sesshoumaru had used his poison, Inuyasha would have been in his rights to fight back and run, but Sesshoumaru was in an instinctive place. He did not use poison at all, instead he used every other means short of a killing blow to get his satisfaction.

First the enraged DaiYoukai pounded on Inuyasha, breaking bones, his nose, his arm, ribs. Inuyasha could not fight back in any way, allowed it all. When the beating was over, Inuyasha lay in a pool of blood, forced himself to stay conscious, and then teeth clenched, knelt before the DaiYoukai once more. Sesshoumaru booted foot landed on his head, and Inuyasha was ground into the dirt.

What ever Inuyasha submitted, the DaiYoukai demanded more and more. Claws made a mockery of caresses as they dragged in long lines across Inuyasha chest, thighs and belly, leaving bloody tracks behind. The maddened Shiro Inu took his brother's body, played with it, used it, abused it. It was not about sex, it was about dominance and power. The maddened Shiro Inu howled in pleasure over and over as he stamped his dominance over his brother.

All Inuyasha knew was pain. He screamed in agony.

Inuyasha's eyes opened with a snap. He was sweating but he had not made a sound. His arms closed around himself, as he shivered, trying to ward off the memories of that day. Twice his brother had taken him in a maddened state, reveling in the pain he inflicted on the Hanyou. Inuyasha had begun to despair that it was all in vain, but in spite of the overwhelming shame he felt, he did not want to be defeated. He did not want to allow the madness to win. That determination was all that kept Inuyasha sane. So when it was over, bloodied and bruised almost beyond recognition, he had knelt one last time. This time, Inuyasha was not sure if Sesshoumaru had actually been gentler, or if his body had been pushed so far the pain no longer registered. But the last time had been different, the DaiYoukai had demanded a different kind of submission, a submission that burned like chilli on an open cut. The DaiYouki had demanded a physical response of the Hanyou. With expert touches the DaiYoukai had forced the Hanyou to come, as he took the slight body lubricated by blood once more.

When it was finally over, Sesshoumaru had stood over his brother, Inuyasha could not have found the strength to move. Even then in spite of everything, Inuyasha felt a bitter satisfaction, he was a fucking disgrace but he had succeeded. He had won. Sesshoumaru was himself once more, and the DaiYoukai stood staring at the broken body of his little brother. Inuyasha could not tell what his brother was thinking, through clenched jaws he heard his brother speak. "I did NOT want this! YOU FORCED THIS ON ME! I DID NOT WANT THIS! THIS DID NOT HAPPEN!" Sesshoumaru yelled the last words and left the cave he had dragged Inuyasha into the day before, leaving Inuyasha to tend his own wounds, alone.

Inuyasha hit his own head. Stop remembering! Stop fucking remembering! It was pointless! And.. and.. he had things to do.

But the more he tried to forget the more the last scene played in his head. Inuyasha had lost consciousness, for how long he did not know. When he awoke his body had started to heal, but the sheer disgust he felt at himself was overwhelming. He screamed, but it was not enough to drown his shame. He reached for Tessaiga, the sword sensing his intentions refused to transform. He was part human, Sepukku (Ritual Suicide) was the way human warriors returned their honor. Maybe this way he could reclaim that much honor, Inuyasha placed the untransformed sword low at his belly, even in this state Inuyasha could easily do what was necessary. He could do this, it was so damn easy, but he was NOT a human. He was an InuHanyou, and in spite of his mother's influence, for him Sepukku was admitting defeat. Inuyasha would not, could not do that. He put down the sword and gasped for breath.

He sat there immobilized for many hours, until his tormented being finally took refuge in unconsciousness. When he awoke next, everything had changed.

"Stupid fucking memories!" Inuyasha muttered as he silently rose to his feet. He still had no clue as to what to do. Quietly, to not disturb the old woman's slumber, Inuyasha made his way out of the hut. It was not quite dawn yet. Tucking his hands into his sleeves he made his way to Ginsenboku, jumping on to his favourite branch he leaned against the tree. As he sat watching he sunrise, memories of the various adventures he had had with the group flashed in his mind. They were not all bad, but.. the memories felt as if they had happened to someone else. To a 'him' that no longer existed. Remembering them brought him no joy, no nostalgia.. nothing. Sometime during his 'submission' something - heck many things - inside him had broken, had died, and one of them had been the connection he felt with the humans.

Suddenly Inuyasha sat upright. Stupid memories were good for something after all. Maybe, maybe there was a way! Inuyasha felt a stirring of hope. Hell if they wasn't a way, he would bloody well MAKE a way! He petted Ginshenboku, the tree was really great. Feeling a little better, he jumped off and made his way back to the village, Kaede would probably have a few ideas to add.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. A figure was waiting for him at the edge of the village. It was Kagome. Boole rose in his throat. he did not want to talk to her, her betrayal still cut deep. Her words had hurt more then she could ever appreciate. But it was not him to run away. With a sigh of irritation he walked forward.

"Inuyasha you have been behaving abominably. Look we are all celebrating why are you moping around and spoiling things." Kagome demanded. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow at her, so that is how she wanted him to play it, as if nothing happened. That was how he always played it after all, like having Kikyo stick him to a tree and wanting to send him to hell did not matter. Like all her sitting and putting him down in front of humans and his rivals who laughed at him did not matter. Like the pain he felt, his feelings did not matter. He could not play it that way anymore. Naraku was dead, he had kept his promise, and there was nothing tying him to her or the other humans, not anymore.

"Then go away Kagome, I did not come searching for you. So if you don't like my mood, stay the hell away from me and there won't be a problem. " Inuyasha said coldly.

"Inuyasha don't be like that." Kagome said reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder. Inuyasha jerked away before she could touch him. Glaring at her. "Look I am trying to be nice here. If you are going to be like this FINE!" She turned and stormed off, expecting Inuyasha to call her back. He didn't. Kagome took more steps, small ones to give the Hanyou time to feel bad and say something. Finally she turned slightly and saw a relief on Inuyasha's face at her departure. Anger bubbled through. "What you are HAPPY.. to see me go, you stupid half demon." She now really stormed off, just before she was out of ear shot she yelled.. "INUYASHA SIT BOY! SIT BOY! SIIIT BOY!"

The Kotodama beads glowed around Inuyasha's neck, he felt a familiar pull to the earth. NO, NO ! NO! FUCK NO HE WOULD NOT ALLOW THIS! He would protect them! Inuyasha fought the pull of the beads like he had never done before. Everything in him, human, Youkai and Hanyou combined as they had never done to fight this new threat. Sweat beaded on his brow, the beads flared brighter. But Inuyasha fought, he roared as he pulled himself upright, and the beads their spell broken, shattered around his neck.

Inuyasha stood tall and strong, panting heavily. A hand dropped to his belly, they were safe, he had kept them safe. He had miscalculated, the humans were a bigger threat then he had imagined. He could not risk their moods, he could not trust their actions. They were no longer his pack. Inuyasha pressed his hand to his belly, precious one, he would keep them safe no matter what. Inuyasha turned, took a running leap into the forest. He wished Kaede a silent goodbye, but he did not hesitate or look back as he sped through the trees, would not return.

-tbc-

Well? review review review..

By the way if you want a more visual detailed story of the submission, please Dont look at me, writiing that much frankly made me want to deep 6 Sesshy. I dont do N/C brutal rape and frankly even though Inu submitted through out (making it worse in my book) it was a brutal rape.