The Unforgivable Mistake

Inuyasha was waiting for his father to come into the study. He was so excited to show him the newest picture of his baby.

When Touga walked into the room Inuyasha rushed over to him and shoved the picture into his hand. “Look father, here is the newest picture. Do you think he looks more like Kikyo or me?”

“I don’t know son,” Touga replied staring at the picture in his hand. “What do you think?”

“I think he looks more like me, but Kikyo disagrees,” Inuyasha replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“How is Kikyo doing?” Touga asked as Inuyasha and he took a seat.

“She’s fine,” he replied. He had taken the picture back from his father and was staring at it.

“Has she forgiven you for trying to leave her for Kagome?” Touga asked calmly.

“What are you talking about? I would never leave her for Kagome. Kikyo is a way better woman then Kagome.” Inuyasha replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Son,” Touga started cautiously. “I know that you tried to convince Kagome to get back with you the day that she was being discharged from the hospital and moving in with your brother. I just wanted to know if Kikyo has forgiven you.”

Inuyasha paused and seemed to be trying to decide what to say. His happy expression turned dark. “That bastard had no right to take my woman and move her into his house. I don’t care if he spent 2 months helping her recover. She was mine.. She was always meant to be mine.”

“She wasn’t yours son,” Touga sighed. “The two of you broke up and then you moved on and married Kikyo. You had an emotional very pregnant wife at home when you went to see Kagome. Did you forget about that?”

“How the hell could I forget about that,” Inuyasha yelled. “You sound just like Kikyo.. She’s not yours anymore Inu. We’re going to have a baby Inu. I can’t handle all this stress Inu.. Blah, blah, blah. She would never let me forget that she was the one in my life and carrying our child. She would never let me forget that I dumped Kagome for her.”

That got Touga’s attention. “What did you just say? What do you mean you dumped Kagome for Kikyo?”

“I see I can still surprise my old man,” Inuyasha chuckled. “Do you know that I have never been faithful to a woman?” Inuyasha asked.

“What?” Touga practically yelled, now very confused.

Inuyasha looked up at the disapproving expression on his father’s face and laughed. “Like father, like son, huh pop?”

Touga’s expression instantly changed from anger to surprise and then to sadness. “I know that I have not always been the best role model Inuyasha, but I had hoped that my sons would not repeat my mistakes.”

Inuyasha nodded, “I know father, I know. I wish I could have learned from you, but I was never one to take the easy path.”

“So you had already met Kikyo when you broke up with Kagome?” Touga asked still reeling a bit from this new information.

“Met her,” Inuyasha laughed. “Oh, I had met her alright, every part of her, many, many times.”

“Please son, TMI.” Touga grimaced. If you left Kagome for Kikyo, then why do you care if she was finally able to find some happiness with your brother?”

“They’re not going to be happy,” Inuyasha scoffed. “She can’t even give him any kids.”

Touga had to try to keep his temper in check. “We don’t know that for sure yet. She healed up much better then expected. They are giving her a 50% chance….”

“They will not be able to have kids. This is the only grandson you will ever have.” Inuyasha yelled and shoved the picture into his father’s hands. “Everyone just needs to realize that for once I have done something that Sesshomaru couldn’t do. I have created our family’s only male heir.”

Touga needed to change topics and try to get the conversation back on track before Inuyasha became too agitated, “Why only one son Inuyasha? Don’t you and Kikyo want to have more? Are you stopping at one because she can’t forgive you for trying to leave her for Kagome?”

Inuyasha grabbed the picture back from his father once again and seemed to go back to his happy demeanor as he looked at it. “Do you know how I met Kikyo?”

“No son, you never told me,” Touga answered.

“I thought she was Kagome when I first saw her,” Inuyasha laughed. “You see, I started dating Kikyo several months before Kagome and I broke up. Kagome was always so damned busy. It seemed like she never had any time for me. One night I went out drinking and saw Kikyo from across the bar. I thought she was Kagome and I went over to confront her about being out when she was supposed to be working. When I realized it wasn’t Kagome, I apologized for interrupting her evening and started to leave, but Kikyo stopped me. She said that I was cute and the least I could do for interrupting her was to stay and buy her a drink. I drank with Kikyo until the bar closed and then spent the night with her. The girl was a freak in bed and I was hooked after that night. Kagome had always been shy in bed and even about how I touched her when we weren’t having sex. You couldn’t do anything rough with her, but Kikyo always let me do whatever I wanted to her. I loved that about her.”

“So why did you want to go back to Kagome?” Touga asked.

Inuyasha stood up and started to pace. “I never expected to see Kagome again after I broke up with her. I never wanted to see her again. I was content with Kikyo and everyone was excited about the baby. Then all the sudden Kagome was back and every body was so concerned for her and telling stories about how great she was. And of course everyone was just thrilled that Sesshomaru was with her now. It wasn’t right! It was my time to shine. I wasn’t about to let that bastard have her.”

“I don’t understand Inuyasha, did you want to be with her, or did you just want to hurt your brother?” Touga asked.

Inuyasha ignored his father’s question. “Kikyo wants to have a family dinner after Kagome gets out of the hospital.”

Touga sighed again, “Kagome was released from the hospital 3 months ago Inuyasha. Do you remember that day?” Inuyasha had a blank expression on his face so Touga pressed on, “You went to see Kagome that morning,” Still no change in Inuyasha’s expression, so he pressed further. “You tried to convince her to leave your brother and come back to you.”

Inuyasha looked at his picture again and smiled, but at the same time tears were flowing down his cheeks. For the first time that day his eyes looked clear and bright. “They died didn’t they?”

Touga walked over to his son and put his hands on his shoulders, “Yes son, I’m so sorry.”

Inuyasha remembered the argument at the hospital. Kikyo had figured out that he was really going to try to get Kagome back. The hospital was set up so that two rooms shared one bathroom. The room connected to Kagome’s was empty, so Kikyo hid out in there and waited to see if he would show up. When he did, she was able to listen to his conversation with Kagome. She came into the room through the bathroom after he told Kagome that Kikyo and the baby meant nothing to him. Kikyo was crying so hard that he could barely understand what she was saying. Every few sentences she would ask him why he was leaving her or why Kagome was better then her and he didn’t have any answers.

He had tried to calm her down until she turned to Kagome and told her that she was truly jealous of her because she ended up with the better brother. That’s when he lost it. He started screaming that his bastard brother was not better then him. He told Kikyo that he hated her and wanted her, the fuck, out of his life. Kikyo said that she would never forgive him for doing this to her and their baby and she stormed out of the room. He had screamed after her that she was a bitch and could drop dead for all he cared.

He never even noticed that Sesshomaru had come into the room until Kikyo passed him to storm out. Sesshomaru went over to the bed to comfort a now sobbing Kagome. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be so cruel to their pregnant wife. Kagome and Sesshomaru had both started yelling at him about what a fool he was.

Then they heard a loud screeching and a crash coming from outside of the building. As soon as they heard the crash it felt like time had slowed down. He just knew that it had something to do with Kikyo. Somehow he knew.

He ran to the window which over looked the parking lot. There was Kikyo’s car, upside down on a grassy hill that ran along the one side of the parking lot. It looked like it had flipped over and slid down the hill on its roof before it was stopped by a tree.

EMT’s were running to the car, but he just stood by the window and watched. He knew she was dead. He knew the baby was dead. He could feel it like a weight in his soul.

He could barely register what was happening when Sesshomaru grabbed his arm and drug him outside.

When they pulled Kikyo out of the car, there was no doubt that she was dead. Sesshomaru had already told them that she was pregnant, so they rushed her into the hospital to see if the baby could be saved, but he was dead as well.

The witnesses said that Kikyo was speeding through the parking lot and didn’t appear to see the woman in the crosswalk until the last possible second. She slammed on the breaks and sharply turned the wheel which caused the car to jump the curb, skid across the sidewalk, and then flip and slide when it reached the grassy hill.

The world seemed to go black after that. He didn’t remember anything that happened after that day.

Inuyasha looked down to see what was clasped in his hand. It was a piece of paper that looked like it was torn from a spiral notebook. There was a crude stick figure drawing of a baby on the paper. “Father, she told me that she would never forgive me.”

“You were both upset, and you didn’t mean what was said,” Touga told his son soothingly and hugged Inuyasha.

Inuyasha looked over the shoulder of his father and saw a bloody Kikyo sitting in the corner of the room nursing his dead son. “No, I did mean it. When I said it, I meant it. That’s what makes it so unforgivable. Now I need to spend time with my family.”

“There’s no one there,” Touga screamed as he tried to shake his son.

“She doesn’t forgive me father. She’ll never forgive me. She’s going to haunt me forever.” Inuyasha clamped his eyes shut and was practically hyperventilating. “I can’t handle this I want my wife and baby back. This is just a bad dream.”

“No Inuyasha, this is reality,” Touga pleaded trying to get through to his son. “What happened was horrible, but you need to accept it and forgive yourself so you can move on.”

When Inuyasha opened his eyes, Touga could see by his hazy eyes that Inuyasha had retreated back to his dream world. The world where his wife and son were alive and he had stopped by his father’s house to show him the newest picture of his baby.

He had no idea that he was in his psychiatrists office in the mental institution where he was committed after their deaths.

“I’m sorry Touga,” The doctor said from his chair behind the desk. “That’s as far as we can go today.

Touga watched his son pull a chair up to the empty one that he thought contained his wife and child and start to hold a one sided conversation.

“Is there any hope for him,” Touga asked with tears in his eyes.

“There’s always hope,” The doctor replied. “Loosing a wife and child would be hard on anyone, but he has such guilt over the events right before the accident that he can’t accept what’s happened. It appears that he has started to have brief moments where he remembers, but then he pushes the thoughts away. He needs to forgive himself.”

Touga just nodded and approached his son, “Inuyasha I have to go now. Your mother is coming to see you tomorrow and I’ll see you again in a couple of days.”

“OK pop, I should have another new picture to show you by then. The baby is growing so fast.” Inuyasha waved to his father with a big smile on his face.

Touga left the building and got in his car. He pulled his flask of scotch out of the glove compartment and took a long drink to calm his nerves. Inuyasha had always been jealous of his brother and it would sometimes drive him to do stupid things, but his actions with Kagome had caused a chain reaction that no one could have foreseen. He had no doubt that Inuyasha would have come to his senses and made things right with Kikyo if that accident hadn’t happened, but it did and now he had to live with his guilt.

Touga dreaded these sessions with his son more and more. Izzayoi couldn’t handle it so the task had fallen to him. It seemed like each session he learned something new about his son and he found that he liked the boy less and less. Yes, he still loved his son and always would, but he had been blind to many of his antics and he wished he was still in the dark on many things. He was afraid that one day something would come up that would forever change things between them.


A/N--- I had a lot of requests to continue this one shot, and so I did.

This chapter took me a while because it is actually based on something that happened to a friend of mine about 10 years ago and I wanted to get it right. When you’re reading, you may find Inu’s reaction a bit extreme, but I can assure you something like this can destroy a person (and did).