Innocent Beginnings

Innocent Begginings
By: Maggz
Disclaimer: I'm poor and own nothing
Author Note: Review! Reviews make me happy!


Chapter 18: Eany, Meany, Miney, Mo

One entire month had gone by in my life without Sesshomaru once again… but this time, it was as if I knew how to control things - control myself, my needs, my wants, my LIFE. I stayed very busy. Kohaku was an angel in disguise as far as I was concerned. Our sessions had gone great from the very beginning and we worked well together. He constantly amazed me with his intelligence and the cool thing about it was that he wasn't ashamed of being brilliant. He didn't try to hide it, it was as if he just knew it was part of who he was, a huge part… that he accepted and incorporated into his life. I learned a lot from Kohaku those first few months that he helped me with my studies - and it was way more than bookish knowledge. It was a discovery of who I was inside and just what I was capable of doing with my life. Sesshomaru had given me the power to catch a glimpse of the person I could surely be while I'd been in Sacred Heart, Kohaku simply took the reigns and guided me through it.


Sesshomaru and I talked at least twice a week by phone. Things were going along quite smoothly in the US andwas was excited about it. At times, it had seemed like an impossible dream to him - he'd talked of it so many times before with me - but now one of his most cherished desires was coming true and he couldn't have been happier. I was excited and happy for him, yet I missed him terribly - a fact that I kept to myself at all times. I didn't want him thinking I was a baby, incapable of handling his absences, doubting him at the drop of a hat. I had to be stronger than that and I felt I was finally succeeding.


I had sidestepped the gossip magazines ever since he'd left. I wasn't so lucky as to sidestep what came to me over the internet. I'd subscribed to a few update lists early on, way before he'd left to go to America, even before he'd come home the previous time. I'd just never thought to UNsubscribe once he got home to assure me that all was right within my little world. I'd let it easily slip my mind.


…and so it came to pass that I found out that the brunette I'd spotted on his arm in the tabloid when I was still at Sacred Heart wasn't just 'some brunette'… she was somebody he knew very well… somebody he was continuing to see.


Kohaku and I had finished up with our work for the day. He'd given me a basic skills test in Calculus and I'd aced it as well as impressed him with a written report on Colonial American History. He'd sat quietly reading my essay as I took the exam, making appreciative noises each time he came to a particular bit of what I'd written that he approved of.


Once I'd finished the test, he'd told me to go take a break while he looked over it and gave me a thumbs up as he pointed toward the essay.


"Great work, Rin. I'm proud of you. This paper could very well have been written by a University student. You've got a real talent for writing.", he smiled before taking the test from my hands.


"Thanks, Kohaku. You've been a huge help!", I said.


"I just pushed you, Rin. It's been there all along and you know it. You only had to get yourself back on track.", he said, reaching for his red marker.


"You can just put that marker down, Kohaku. I PASSED your exam with flying colors. I'll bet you!", I grinned, backing out the door.


"What's the bet?", he called after me.


"I'll eat a chocolate ripple ice cream sundae with nuts and whipped cream IF I didn't ace it! If I DID… and I KNOW I did… then YOU have to take me out to dinner somewhere nice.", I laughed as I walked down the hallway away from him.


"That is so not fair, Rin. You're the damned winner in each situation! That's not COOL!", he shouted after me.


I was smiling as I walked out into the sunshine, making my way to the track that surrounded the school, normally used for fielding events. Things had been going pretty good for me lately. I'd kept in contact with Sesshomaru, much to my delight. I'd made a really good friend in Kohaku, despite the age differences. My family was doing fine. I'd even hooked up with several of my girlfriends from school and had gone off on fun shopping sprees as well as slept over at a few slumber parties.


My heart still ached over the loss of my mom and dad. I made my regular pilgrimages to the cemetery to talk to them but it seemed as if the hardest times were over. I was getting on with my life, just as I knew they would've wanted and I reckoned they'd have been pretty darned proud of me if they could've seen me as I was now.


"Rin!", I heard Kohaku call as I neared the finish of my third lap around the track. I shielded my eyes, looking toward him as he jogged up the track to meet me… his expression unreadable.


"So?", I grinned, hands propped at my hips. I knew I had passed the test… I had no doubts whatsoever!


"Well…", he said softly, looking at his feet before gazing back up into my eyes. I swear sometimes those eyes were registered lethal weapons, they were just that beautiful.


My confidence faltered for a moment at his strange beha. Co. Could I have failed the test? I'd been so sure I'd passed!


"Kohaku!", I frowned, blowing out a breath of frustration. Why wouldn't he answer me? "How d do? do?"


"Jeez, Rin. You passed with flying colors!", he said, a slow grin spreading across his handsome face as his words sank into my consciousness.


"I passed! I passed? I passed!!!", I squealed, jumping headlong into his arms before I even stopped to think. He lifted me against him, twirling me around the track as his laughmeldmelded with mine. When at last he set me on my feet, he took my face in his hands and pursing those gorgeous full lips, he kissed me right smack on the mouth!


"I'm SO damned proud of you!", he grinned. "I'm even proud of ME! I didn't tell you OR your family that this would be the very first time I've tutored in Calculus!", his grin deepened. "I was afraid I wouldn't get the job, so I was hoping like HELL you picked up on it but I never dreamed you'd do this good!", he laughed.


My mind was still reeling from the feel of his soft mouth over mine… comparing the kiss to the ones I'd received from Sesshomaru. I couldn't help it! I mean, what were the chances of a girl my age being kissed by two handsome, sexy 'older' men all in the space of less than a year??


"So I have to take you to dinner…", he huffed out a breath as he jammed his hands into the front pockets of his pants. "How much is this gonna set me back?", he winced.


"Oh Kohaku, I was only joking with you! I don't expect you to take me anywhere. Besides, I don't want to cost you, you know?", I laughed.


"A bet is a bet!", he said, his eyes narrowing as he studied me. "What's it to be? You pick the place, I'll pick you up tonight."


"But… I thought you went to the Met on Fridays!", I argued, a feeling of euphoria sweeping through my veins. ME being seen out on the town with Kohaku Asada? He had girls after him at every turn! I'd taken to teasing him about them there were so many. His cellphone hardly ever stopped ringing and I'd watched him numerous times turn it off simply so he could tutor me in relative peace and quiet.


"Not EVERY Friday, Rin. Besides, this calls for a celebration plus I haven't been out anywhere nice in quite some time. A man gets tired of noodles, soup and peanut butter sandwiches after awhile. So what do you say? Have we got a date or not?"


I could feel the color blooming in my cheeks as I smiled up at him. A date? An honest to goodness DATE? With KOHAKU? Why?


"I'll call Ichi and Reika to make it ok.", he said as if reading the direction my thoughts were taking.


"Ok. Then I guess, yes. I'd love to go with you!", I laughed.


"Good. Well, I guess I better get going. I've got to make a stop at the library, run a couple of errands and then get back for a shower and change of clothes. I'll pick you up at eight?", he smiled, reaching out to tug on a strand of my hair.


"Eight's fine. Thanks, Kohaku.", I said.


"Thank YOU, Rin. See you in a bit.", he said and then he was jogging away from me, picking up that heavy old bookbag of his and walking in long legged strides toward his car. I could feel my heart thumping excitedly against my ribs as I watched him pull out his mobile to call my aunt and uncle.


He's asking for permission to TAKE ME OUT!!!


My mind was in a whirl! I wrapped my arms around myself and danced around the edge of the track, thrilled at the prospect of a REAL DATE with Kohaku! What would I wear???


THAT thought stopped me cold and sucking in a breath, I ran toward home as fast as my feet could carry me. I had no clue what to wear!!
Wh
When I got home some ten minutes later, breathless and still very much excited, Aunt Reika was waiting for me on the front porch. She smiled as I bounded up the steps and patted the empty place at her side for me to sit down.


I plunked myself into the seat and waited… wondering for the first time if she might tell me I wasn't allowed to go out with Kohaku because of the difference in our ages. My heart suddenly felt tight in my chest and I swallowed hard, my eyes on my hands.


"Kohaku called a few minutes ago. He wanted to ask permission to take you to O'Neals tonight.", she said. I gasped and looked up at her. O'Neals was a beautiful place overlooking the sea that catered to the best in Haverford. He hadn't mentioned O'Neals to me. I'd just assumed we'd go to a nice steak house.


"You act surprised.", she laughed, touching my cheek with her hand. It was a gesture so like my mom's that tears immediately sprung to my eyes and before I knew it, I was crying.


"Rin!", Reika cried. "What's wrong?"


"I just… Mom! You just… sometimes I miss her so badly!", I sobbed out between breaths.


"Oh sweetheart!", she soothed, pulling me against her as she stroked my hair. "I miss her so much too!"


"I talk to her every other day when I go visit the cemetery. She knows about school and my new room. She knows that I help you with the housework and how you and Uncle Ichi enjoy going out to dinner more often now. I think she'd be happy, Auntie.", I whispered, scrubbing the tears from my cheeks.


" I KNOW she'd be happy, Rin. That's why I was thrilled that Kohaku wanted to take you somewhere tonight. As God is my witness, if it were Kikyo - well, I just am not so sure I'd be able to allow it. But with you… things are different and I Rin you know that doesn't mean that I don't care, Rin!", she said.


"I know that.", I answered softly.


"But you've come so far and you seem so much older than what you were before, so much older than all of your friends. Sometimes I'm not so sure that's a good thing but it's something that can't be changed and I want to do all I can to help you along the way. Kohaku's such a nice boy and so handsome!", she laughed when I turned my eyes to her.


"I trust you, Rin and I trust Kohaku. He's eaten dinner here and spent enough time here with you that I think I know him pretty well. Ichi likes him, which says a lot! So I told him that he'd be more than welcome to take you out for your celebratory dinner tonight! Congratulations by the way! Kohaku was so excited that you'd done so well on your exam!", she smiled, hugging me once again.


I didn't know what to say. Pride and love, happiness and excitement welled up inside me so I just held tightly to her and soaked up the love I'd always received so freely from her.


"You better get inside and shower. Any idea what you're going to wear?", she asked.


"Not a clue!", I giggled, kissing her cheek as I hopped off the swing.


"Give me a shout if you need me. I'll probably start dinner in a bit.", she said.


I ran up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me and flinging myself onto my bed. Laying there, thinking over everything that had happened to me within the last several hours, I was surprised to hear my computer signal a mail coming through. Climbing off the bed, I walked over to the monitor and peered at it, reaching over to click on the message. Any other time, I'd have deleted it - seeing it was from the Gossip Magazine. But something prodded at me this time to just click on and open it. I sat down in my chair and slid it forward, watching as the mail downloaded in front of me.


Why hadn't I expected it? Why hadn't I prepared myself?


The mail had taken longer to download than was normal, which made me realize at once that a picture had to be attached. When I spied Sesshomaru's name, I felt my heart speed up and closed my eyes tightly… wanting badly to delete it before it even fully appeared but needing just as badly to see what was coming through.


Opening my eyes, I saw them…


He and the brunette, the same one that had been on his arm months before. I felt my stomach clench, my skin crawl and my face grow hot. THIS time, they were walking down a busy city street, hand in hand as they laughed.


"Oh, Sesshomaru…", I moaned, feeling tears start to build in the back of my throat.


Morbid curiosity has a way of attracting even the best of us and unable to help myself, I scrolled unt until I could read the blurb that came along with the damning photo.


Kagura was her name. She was one of the younger sisters of Naraku Onigumo-InuTaisho's senior partner. "So that's where she came from…", I murmured before reading on. But she was busy in Europe with some family business project… "Then why the HELL is she there?", I hissed at the screen.


Reading further, I found out that rumor had it that Kagura had traveled to the US to spend time with Sesshomaruing ing her own break from the projects she was working on at the moment. Speculation was that Sesshomaru had finally found his true love at long last. He no longer felt the need to hide his girl from the public eye.


I slowly got up out of my chair and walked into the bathroom to run my shower. I felt like crying but I was damned if I was going to! The girl… she was UGLY, HORRID! I found myself imagining all manner of things as the water sprayed against my face. Did he kher?her? Had he had sex with her? Was it serious? It HAD to be if she'd traveled across the globe to be with him during her break! I let my mind drift back to our last conversation only two nights previous and tried to remember if he'd sounded different to me at all. Were there any clues I should've picked up on?


I didn't think so but then, I'd made myself blind to the possibility that my virile, sexy, gorgeous Sesshomaru just might need someone while he was away. I'd even made myself blind to that fact that maybe he and this Kagura had been more heavily involved than I'd at first thought. Why hadn't I questioned him about it when he'd been here with me right by my side? Why in the hell had he KISSED me? Why had he looked at me like he had, held my hand and tried to say he loved me in the same way I knew I loved him?


I took a breath and slung the water out of my face, hitching a breath when my 'practical side' decided to speak up.


Why was I letting MYSELF develop feelings for Kohaku other than what they should've been if I was so in love with Sesshomaru? Was something WRONG with me that I couldn't control myself around gorgeous older men? Was I supposed to keep to myself while Sesshomaru roamed the earth hunting for female bed warmers? What the HELL was I supposed to do?


I was angry at Sesshomaru… more angry than I'd ever been yet I felt guilty because a small but vital part of me was thrilled to be going out with Kohaku Asada on a 'date'. Did that make me two faced? Was I doing the same thing as Sesshomaru or was it different?


"Just STOP it, Rin!", I hissed to myself as I twisted the water spigots off and reached for a towel. "You said so yourself, if Sesshomaru was screwing somebody while he was away, you didn't want to know. You said you had NO rights over him and THAT much is true. So just stop it!", I mumbled, pulling on a robe as I wiped a clean circle on the mirror so I could look at myself.


"Let him do what he wants to. Talk to him when he comes home and for Godsakes, get dressed and go have a good time tonight with Kohaku. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you're foolish if you waste it!", I growled.


Turning on my heel, I took a huge breath and slowly let it out before deliberately walking to my computer and hitting the DELETE key.


"Look out world, I'm making major changes starting tonight and here I come!", I smirked before moving to my closet to choose a dress.