A Fine Mess

Sesshoumaru really didn’t want to argue with Inuyasha about love anymore. It was a pointless subject and only seemed to upset his mate.

“Inuyasha if you state that love is vital to our relationship I will attempt to learn more of this, but words are only words. If you want me to show you how I feel I do so already. What is more valuable to you?”

Inuyasha frowned.

“Sesshoumaru communication is a part of loving someone. We really don’t communicate that well so it makes sense you would say such things just to placate someone so why did you bother?”

Sesshoumaru looked straight out into the forest with no emotion on his face.

“Father….He would do so to placate my Mother and Izayoi.”

Inuyasha stopped and Sesshoumaru looked back lifting an eyebrow.

“Do you want the truth or not Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha seethed.

“You are saying Father never loved my Mother? But he died protecting her! You blamed me for years for that!”

Sesshoumaru waited for a moment before answering.

“I would die for you Inuyasha. It is the duty of the Alpha male to protect his mate even to the death. We as a species are protective by nature. Love has nothing to do with this. It is base instinctual nature. Father did what he was meant to do. Thus is why humans should not procreate with demons. They are too weak and can be easily killed. You should know this by experience.”

Inuyasha felt like he was slapped in the face. It might as well have been.

“So you are saying my love for Kagome was nothing more than some instinctual nature to protect and procreate with my mate.”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“That is the basic truth of the matter Inuyasha. Males do not have such soft feelings as females. Inu demons including my Mother do not remain loyal unless the mate is within easy reach. Father succumbed to weakness since Mother was not within an area he could rut with her and therefore he chose a female in heat.”

Inuyasha growled.

“So you are saying Father would just pick some random female in heat to rut with?”

Sesshoumaru laughed.

“Father was not that desperate. He did have some taste in his choices of females.”

Inuyasha hated Sesshoumaru for bringing this up and wanted to kick his ass, but when he heard females it meant more than one.

“So Father had multiple mates all over Japan?”

Sesshoumaru smirked.

“Make that all over the world Inuyasha. Father traveled and although he ruled over the West he was not from the Western Lands. There are some tall Japanese men, but how many are as tall or as pale in skin as we little brother?”

Inuyasha thought about it.

“But I look like………..in human form……..”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“You are part Japanese Inuyasha. Part human remember? You are Izayoi’s son as much as you are Father’s. This is why you will never reach my stature since you take after her more than our Great and Powerful Father. Father was three inches taller than me.”

Sesshoumaru was also well built for a 7 foot tall man. Inuyasha was just barely 6 foot two. He wasn’t short by any means, but he was nowhere near Sesshoumaru’s height.

“You are getting off the subject Sesshoumaru! So what if Father had other mates. He could have loved them too.”

Sesshoumaru frowned. He didn’t want to think on that.

“Inuyasha I tell you Father was a selfish demon just like all of us. There are no demons or men out there that know love as you describe it. The way you describe it you sound like a female needing to be coddled. Men do not coddle men and if they do it is not seen. I would only do so to fulfill my duty as your mate. Men did not come up with the concept of love nor did men really desire to have it thrust upon them as an obligation.’
“To be one’s mate one must fall in love……..please……….I will play you a tiny violin for your troubles. It is attraction and the need to create life. If one must love then let it be for the children, the innocent, and the women who need to hear such words to make them feel complete. You are a man Inuyasha so act like one otherwise I will treat you like a female.’
“Men fight, we protect, we build, and we as males conquer our own path in life. There is no time for frivolities. Women push such things upon us. Mother is a perfect example of the annoying softness of women and how they waste time as well as recourses to impress the rest of the world with baubles when a firm hand would do the same and receive a result worth talking about. You do not make legends by sitting back feeling sorry for the rest of the world and crying over the dead. You must move on Inuyasha. It seems to me if love is holding you back from the things you would do then you must remove it from yourself.”

Inuyasha was angry and Sesshoumaru was right although he hated him for it.

“Fine……..”

Sesshoumaru watched as Inuyasha stormed away.

“Where are you going mate?”

Inuyasha looked Sesshoumaru in the eyes.

“I don’t need you. I am a man. I can raise the pups on my own. My Mother raised me for as long as she could without Father. If that is only what you are here for I can protect myself and you can find another mate out there to lie to about loving them. You don’t understand love and men can feel it too. I would rather have that weakness then to never have known it.”

Turning away to walk on Sesshoumaru stopped and grasped Inuyasha’s shoulder.

“Inuyasha you will not leave me. Even Father protected Izayoi until you were born.”

Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha shrug his hand off .

“Fine………..but don’t touch me anymore.”

Sesshoumaru looked at Inuyasha smelling the tears, but did not acknowledge them. He didn’t understand the big deal over such a petty thing. Inuyasha had no reason to feel sad and he would be damned if Inuyasha kept his body from him because he wanted to suffer.

“You have resentment from what I said to you. Now perhaps you do understand me.”

Inuyasha stopped crying and looked at Sesshoumaru who was dead serious.

“Is this what Father said to you?”

Sesshoumaru sat down by the fire and bid Inuyasha to sit with him.

“I thought I was in love once with my cousin. She was a beautiful Inu demoness and I wanted to woo then mate her. Father told me to stay away from her since she was promised to another. We ran away together. I rutted her and ruined her for life. She carried my daughters in her womb when she was mated to another. The mating was not postponed because of my indiscretion, but she was to be a concubine mate and not full mated. I never saw my children grow.’
“Father told me to get over it. There were other women to find and rut with. Males did not have to worry and I received pats on the back for being a man. I swore though I would find my cousin. When I did she had taken her life before she was to be sold to the geisha house and I promised myself I would never feel love again. I do not feel love.’
“Father’s behaviors taught me to stop feeling and act. So this is what I do. I walk in his footsteps. I worshiped him, but I also hated him. I am who I am because of what I was taught Inuyasha. Love is for only the weak hearted. If you wish for me to feel such then rather than feeding me words you need to show me results. So far I have seen none that do not end up in tragedy or misery neither of which I wish to ever feel again.”

Inuyasha was silent.

“Sesshoumaru as a brother I have loved you for years. Practically worshiped you and you hated me. I don’t know if I can show you love anymore. Unless you feel it you will not know it. I can’t explain it in words which is all I was trying to tell you. What I felt for Kagome was more than I felt for my own Mother. You cannot tell me you do not love you own Mother.”

Sesshoumaru snorted.

“Mother……….Hn………love? More like tolerate. She thinks she is amusing, but I do not find amusement in her mocking of my life. I am not Father even if at one point I wished to be like him.”

Inuyasha frowned and wondered if his Mother resented Father at all.

“My Mother only spoke words of love about Father. He was everything to her.”

Sesshoumaru looked at Inuyasha.

“I do not expect you to live your life for me. I would not want you to worship me and therefore who is kinder? Is it not enough for you the things I do and make you feel physically? Why is it you always want more of me?”

Inuyasha saw the slight moment of pain in Sesshoumaru’s eyes as he tried to mask everything he felt with indifference. His eyes could not hide everything.

“I will take what I can get then.”

It was almost amusing. Sesshoumaru really did know love, he just needed time to open those feelings back up. Inuyasha realized he did have power over his brother in that one thing. If he could get Sesshoumaru to feel love for him then perhaps they both could move forward together and be happy. Right now it was just attraction and bad luck that brought them to this point. Perhaps a miracle was in order.