Blue moon and Red Fire

Chapter 15: Learning how to say Goodbye

Houjo sat at the back of the living room, his back against the wall opposite of the broken window overflowing with a slope of snow that seem to be growing larger. Time passed by slowly since the morning, the sun started to drift below the horizon, painting the sky in a deep pink and orange streaked with distant clouds around a golden sun that seemed to be on fire. Houjo stared at the display in front of him tenting the room in the colors of coming dusk, his body bathed and outlined in the golden light of the drifting sun.

His hands were burred in his pockets, constantly gripping the camera in his left one. "I bet Kouga would like this..." He said to himself, staring ahead thoughtfully. '?' Houjo looked towards the stairs when he heard the familiar sound of someone coming down. "Souta?"

The boy clinched the railing tightly, leaning heavily against it as he made his way down the stairs. The effects of the blow he'd taken earlier were plainly seen now, though Houjo couldn't see Souta's back past the blue shirt he wore he could tell that part of the boy was hurting by the way he held himself slightly keeled over and holding his stomach. And there was a small bruise showing on one his forehead and chin. "Huh?"

"Are you alright? Should you be up?" Houjo asked worriedly, looking as if he'd spring up at a second's notice incase he needed too.

"I'm ok." Souta said, his eyes fixed on the broken window and mound of snow with dread. "I feel a little better now." He slowly eased himself down beside Houjo, looking on almost fearfully at the glossy snow pouring from the frame. "Oh man, I am so dead..."

"Don't worry about it too much." Houjo said reassuringly. "It'll be alright."

"I don't know..." Souta drew his knees in and hugged his legs close to his chest, staring downward.

"I promised I'd help you fix it, don't worry, we'll get it done." Houjo rubbed Souta's back comfortingly, hoping it would help him feel better, the last thing Souta needed was to be worrying.

"Yeah I guess..." Souta seemed to accept his answer, but his demeanor didn't change at all, his head was still downcast sulkingly.

"Souta, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said.

Houjo wrapped his arms around Souta's shoulders, looking back up into sky past the window frame. "I know that look and that voice, what's really wrong?"

"Nothing." He repeated in the same way.

Houjo sighed, letting his head fall back against the wall and his eyes drift closed. He was starting to get tired...Nah, he was already tired, he was just starting to get worse. "Do strange things like this happen all the time around here?"

Souta shook his head, "Not really."

"It's pretty strange..." Houjo said aloud. "Kinda dangerous. How's your back?"

"It's alright." Souta lifted his head and looked over Houjo, staring at the blue jacket he wore for a moment before dropping his head again. "What about your chest?"

"Barely feel it anymore." Houjo lifted his hand to his mouth and yawned, taking in a deep breath before relaxing his tense body again. "You were pretty brave back there."

"Huh? Oh me? I didn't do anything." Souta said, a disappointed tone coming to his voice. "I just got in the way."

"In the way?" Houjo peeked one sleepy brown eye open and peered down at the boy covered in golden light from the setting sun. "You helped me a lot, I would have never made it out of there if you weren't there to warn me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Souta pulled his knees in closer, dropping his head into his lap. "Then why don't I feel that way?" He sighed. "I got knocked out, you guys had to come and rescue me."

Houjo closed his eye again, now he was starting to understand it a little better. "Well...It wasn't your fault."

"That doesn't matter, I still got knocked out. I...I was just in the way, I'm always in the way." Souta moaned with dismay, a self-loathing coming into his tone.

"Souta...Don't think like that, your-"

Souta looked up at him with narrowed eyes, "Don't you dare tell me I'm not!" He shouted. "Don't handle me!"

Houjo tightened his half hug around Souta and pulled the boy closer, allowing Souta to lay his head on his chest. "Heh, I know how you feel..."

Souta looked up at the boy questioningly. "You? Why? You were fighting."

Houjo shuttered when a small breeze blew though the room, ruffling his hair slightly. He could feel direct sunlight pouring into his eyes and the sunset progressed and the angle became just right. "I was terrified."

"What? No way." Souta shook his head in disbelief, "You weren't afraid, you were down there fighting it by yourself." Not one time during that fight did he see Houjo look afraid.

"What about you Souta?" Houjo asked. "When I was trapped, you came running down to help with out a second thought. Weren't you afraid?"

"Yeah." Souta responded and nodded slowly.

"So why did you come?"

"I wanted to help."

"I was just as scared as you were, maybe more." Houjo smiled lightly, finding his fear at the time somewhat amusing now. "But I wanted to help just like you did."

"You went down there and took those things on yourself because you wanted to help?" Souta asked in disbelief.

"If you can believe it."

Souta closed his eyes, feeling the same sleepiness Houjo was drifting into. "You were really afraid? You were so brave."

"You were brave yourself. You ran down there completely defenseless and afraid just to help me." Houjo said.

"I guess..." Again Souta seemed to accept Houjo's answer, but still there was some faint disappointment was in his voice.

"What is it?" Houjo asked.

He didn't evade the question this time, he felt like he could talk to Houjo now, since he learned that Houjo was just as afraid as he was. He was still admirably brave. "I...I'm useless."

"Souta? No, your-"

"I am, I don't want to get in everyone's way, I don't want to just be protected." Souta sighed, being afraid all the time got old fast. "Everybody has gotten hurt for me, I don't want to just sit there and watch, I wanna do something. I wanna do something..."

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

It was dark outside tonight.

Kouga stood up strait and looked back at the large house sitting behind him in a sea of snow. It seemed darker then usual, at lest for here, the night seemed to hold a brightness in this world, brighter then it was back at home. Not tonight though... the once pure, perfect sheet of snow that covered the land was now broken and destroyed, it had been so calm and peaceful, and despite the horror it caused him by trapping him. It was one of the most perfect sights he'd ever seen in his life.

And he hated those demons a little more for that.

Kouga looked down to the broken window and the downward slope leading to the living room, sighing slightly to himself. Kouga walked towards the house, limping heavily with each step and his arm draped across his armor clad torso, still weak from this morning's fight. He wasn't tired, he made sure he got a lot of sleep, in fact he'd only woken up an hour ago. And his wounds, his wounds would heal eventually, neither of those were on his mind.

Neither of them where what was making it hard for him to breath right now, or his mind so cloudy he could barely think of anything else but Houjo... He couldn't go through the living room, he couldn't see Houjo right now, it would just make it harder. "Damnit..." Kouga stopped and stared down at himself, he couldn't believe this was so hard... He felt like a coward but...

Kouga crouched down lightly and leapt into the air as high as his weary muscles would allow him, just barely managing to reach the roof edging the second floor. Kouga grabbed on to Souta's open window to keep from slipping on the snow, his balance was quickly returning to it's normal peek. "..." Kouga slipped into the open window, he knew Souta couldn't be in the room if this window was open, it could only be him.

Kouga looked around the dark room, patchy with deep shadows. And there he was, Inuyasha, laying asleep on the bed. Kouga folded his arms and watched with general disregard.

! - ! - !

Inuyasha gasped, his eyes shifting around anxiously. 'No...Not Again Damnit!' "..." He screamed fearfully, but once again no words would pass his lips. Inuyasha panted restlessly, taking in deep breaths of air as deeply as his lungs would alow, but it was no good. There was some unknown pressure pushing heavily down on his chest that made it impossible, and he couldn't move an inch, his body wouldn't respond to his desperate command.

He'd awaken from a sleepless dream into this, for the uncountable consecutive time, seemly every time he went to sleep it happened. And he was helpless again.

'No...' Inuyasha looked around him franticly, and suddenly his gasping breaths became caught in his throat when an unexplainable fear shot through his body. A rushing filled his ears, a rumbling almost, like a waterfall at the end of a raging river. His blood ran cold at the sound and he felt a chill that made him shiver, he couldn't breath at all! 'No! NO! Help! Somebody! Anybody help me!' This fear was like nothing he'd ever known, and despite his mind screaming this wasn't real, he couldn't control it at all. Forget rationality, all that mattered was getting away!

Inuyasha's eyes shot to the very edge of his vision into the deepest shadow of the room, he felt it as sure as he knew his name, there was something there. It was coming closer! It was bad, it was evil, it felt like fear itself, and it wanted to hurt him, and he could do nothing! "..." 'No! Stop! Leave me alone damnit!' He squirmed around, not just from the fear but from lack of air, he was being suffocated, it was even worse then it ever had been before. "..." 'Help me!'

Something grabbed on to his shoulder and somehow he could move again, with a startled flinch Inuyasha grabbed on to whatever it was. A hand, it was a hand. And pulled towards him like a frightened child clinching to life, all he knew at the time was that the hand had come from the opposite direction of that unseen, malicious force.... He found himself face with a startled Kouga who he'd pulled down unknowingly over him on to the bed.

They didn't move, Kouga just sat their on his hands and knees above Inuyasha, staring directly into his eyes through the darkness with an unsure confusion as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. And Inuyasha just laid there, gasping for air desperately, eyes trembling as they peered into Kouga's with slowly easing fear as he became more and more aware. It had to be a full moment before a drop of cold sweat streamed into Inuyasha's eye and made him wince, "K-Kouga?"

The Youkai snapped out of it then seemly just as started to catch himself as he was when Inuyasha pulled him down like that. "Hmph." Kouga pulled his hand away and pushed himself off the bed he'd been so forcefully dragged on to when simply trying to wake the hanyou. But he was shaken himself, he'd never seen Inuyasha look that afraid, enough to blindly pull him in like that, it was just like he was a little kid. He usually would have commented on the extreme nature Inuyasha's fear over a nightmare, but then Inuyasha would have said something about his sate of mind while being trapped. If there was more to that reaction then appeared, then maybe there was something more to Inuyasha's nightmares. Something Kouga couldn't understand, something he didn't have the slightest desire in trying to figure out. "You would be sleeping at a time like this."

Inuyasha wiped his forehead and sat upright, embarrassed over his actions. "It wasn't my fault, I fell asleep, I haven't had any an hours." He was clearly try his hardest to stay awake.

"This...this can't..." Kouga folded his arms and looked toward the window. "That thing almost got Houjo and Souta." He said soberly.

And a seriousness came over Inuyasha when he heard those words, everything between them changed like winds changing direction. "I know." Inuyasha agreed, sounding as if he didn't want to hold this conversation with Kouga.

And Kouga sounded the same, holding the annoyed expression to match. "You know that thing...it was really strong this time."

"Tch. Your telling me." Inuyasha folded his arms and closed his eyes, his expression growing indifferent. "Neither of them can handle something like that."

"I can't stop that thing anymore." Kouga admitted, as hard as it was for him to revoke his pride momentarily, but he did find comfort in the fact that Inuyasha couldn't either. "If this keeps up then..."

"How exactly can this thing be stopped? They just come back with more and more." Inuyasha sighed. "For everyone I kill, 2 more come back next time."

"..." Kouga tilted his head back in silent contemplation, both of them thought about it as hard as they could. But they already knew, they knew it from this morning, what had to happen. "I remember...a short way's out from my den, I saw a lot of them coming out of the ground, I couldn't see them all but now that I think about it there must have been..." If there was ever a thought he was afraid of, it was that, his voice trailed off when he started to realize...

Inuyasha got the idea, it was really bad, really bad. "Cut the problem off at the source." He said simply.

"For once your actually thinking smart." Kouga smirked nervously to himself. "Before they come after Houjo and Sout again..."

There was a silence again, the only sound between them was the noise of a soft breeze coming from a cold night outside. So this was it.

"He'll be fine by himself." Inuyasha said aloud, almost speaking to himself, it was easier if he felt like he was talking to himself and not Kouga.

"Yeah, Houjo is here, they'll both be ok." Kouga said mindlessly.

Maybe they would.

"He'll manage." Inuyasha said aloud again. Trying to convince himself, he never said what he really wanted to about the subject.

But Kouga was more frank with his feelings, he always was. "I...Don't know if I can leave him."

"..." Inuyasha didn't respond, he just held his head down.

"I don't know if he will be safe or not, but I can''t...I can't leave him." Kouga sank down on to the bed, his tail sagging behind him. "I...Don't know if..."

"Your not wussin' out on me are you?" Inuyasha had to refrain from shouting. "Typical, you always were a wimp, always running away." He snorted, but truthfully he needed Kouga, he couldn't do this alone.

"I'm not running away!" Kouga shouted. "I'm going damnit...I have too..."

Inuyasha stood up, his head downcast and eyes focusing on the hilt of his sword. "Yeah...I have to." That didn't make it easy for him, that didn't make it any less hard for him to just leave him here, to just go off. Even if it was more for Souta's good then the boy could possibly understand, even if Souta might beg and cry, and plead for him to stay. Just because it was for the best, didn't make it any less hard to say goodbye. 'S-Souta...' "...I'll be back." he mumbled, walking slowly out of the door.

He had to see Souta at lest one last time, because if he didn't he knew he'd never make it past the front door.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

It was dark, but it wasn't the cold darkness of the lower level, it was warm, somewhat comforting.

Inuyasha softly pushed open the door to Kagome's room and peeked inside, and there he saw him, Souta sleeping peacefully on Kagome's bed just where Houjo had put him. It had to be past midnight, but Inuyasha had little sense of the time, all he knew was it was late. And Souta was long asleep. Resting peacefully in a small ball atop the covers, none the wiser of what was taking place.

'Damn kid...' Inuyasha wasn't nearly as good at sneaking as Kouga was, but he walked to the side of the bed as quiet as he knew how and knelt before Souta with out incident. 'He'd probably have a fit if he knew I was leaving and didn't say anything.' Inuyasha watched silently, his eyes focused on his peaceful face, the image burning itself in to his mind whether he wanted to or not, he'd never be able to forget it.

'I guess he'll have to deal with it.' Even as he thought Inuyasha found his hand slowly drifting up to Souta's face, burying them into the black strands, he couldn't stop himself if he wanted to, pride and embarrassment for the small, affectionate action was repressed.

Just this once.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard Souta moan and softly lean against his hand. No...why'd he have to do that? Why'd he have to make this harder then it already was? 'Souta... I'm doing this for you, your gonna have to understand.' Sadness swelled up with him from someplace deep in his chest, God this was so hard... 'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this but I have to...' Still, it just became harder, the longer he stayed and watched his sleeping face the more his will started to fade. He had to go now or he'd never leave. 'Really did want to work on you kid.'

Souta was his work in progress.

And he was coming so far, Inuyasha found more and more to keep him from complaining from boredom everyday, working with him in every way he could even subtilty. His resolve grew more and more each day, his shy, introverted nature was starting to change even if only a little. He had found a courage within himself, before he was to afraid to do much of anything when those demons came. But he now he was so brave, even if he didn't know it yet, all he had to be was pushed in the right way. 'It was fun...'

"Inuyasha..." Souta moaned softly in his sleep, slowly reaching up a smaller hand and wrapping his fingers around Inuyasha's larger one. Inuyasha felt his heart jump again when Souta slowly opened his eyes and stared sleepily into the golden ones before him. "Inu.."

"Yeah, I'm here kid." Inuyasha rose to his feet and sat down beside him, allowing himself to continue running his hands softly through Souta's hair.

"Is...something wrong?" He asked weakly, too sleepy to be aware of much else but the look he saw on Inuyasha's face.

"Nothing's wrong, go back to sleep." Inuyasha told him, watching the boy gently close his eyes again. Damn this was so hard... "Nothing's wrong..." 'Good...Goodbye Souta.' Inuyasha slowly rose to his feet, but he couldn't help but look back, he couldn't help but...Inuyasha knelt down one last and softly pressed his lips against Souta's in a chaste kiss. "Goodbye..."

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

It was cold down here, and Kouga wasn't sure if Houjo was partial to the cold or had just chosen to sleep in his spot.

Kouga sat in the sloping mound of snow that had once entrapped him in this house, his tail twitching occasionally behind him. He stared at Houjo who sat completely asleep against the opposite wall, his hands shoved in his pocket and his legs stretched out before him. In the silence he could faintly hear it from where he was, simply a trace that a small breeze could cover. Houjo's strange heartbeat that was somehow soothing to him though he didn't know how, he didn't care how. Somethings he didn't need to understand. "Houjo..."

'I wonder how long it's going to be until you smile again.' Kouga thought to himself. 'You smiled at me the first time we met...' he remembered that moment well, it was one of the things he thought of the most. 'You smiled when I yelled at you...' He'd remember the first time they'd met the most...

No, not that, there were plenty of other times... 'You smiled at me when you were nervous...'

After the first time they mated, the way Houjo looked at that moment, he'd remember that...

No, there was something better.

'You smiled at me after sex.' He'd remember that first night when they slept on that couch sitting right over in the corner of the room now. The way Houjo looked when he slept...

No, there was still something better.

'You smiled at me when I was hurt.' The day when Houjo left and thankfully came back, the though of both of them were laying in the snow under the cherry blossom tree. The sky was perfect that day, and Houjo was right beside him, the sun was bright, and the snow was smooth and perfect, untouched.

He'd remember that the most.

'You smiled at me when you were afraid, when you were hurt... I don't want to see that smile ever again.' Kouga sighed and pushed himself up on to his feet. 'That's why I'm doing this, you'll understand, your really smart, your one of the smartest people I've ever met. And you cook well...' Kouga smiled again to himself when he thought of the food Houjo made. 'Maybe one day we'll get to cook together again...Maybe we can have more chocolate.'

Maybe one day, Maybe.

Kouga took slow, quiet steps to Houjo's side, his bruised and beaten body standing over the boy longingly, 'I don't want to leave you but I have to go. I'm sorry, I really am...' It didn't make it any easier, it didn't make the pain in his chest fade or the need in his body to be close to his mate subside. "Goodbye Houjo..." In fact those feelings only grew worse, so worse he couldn't stand it. 'I think I'm falling in love again...'

And this was what one did for love, whatever they had to. This was why he did this, because he had to.
! - ! - !
! - ! - !

It seemed colder tonight.

Inuyasha stood awaiting outside, his golden eyes gazing on the stars with a profound silence, something in him changed when he had to say goodbye. He didn't even want to fight with Kouga now, but on the other hand he did, it would do well to distract him from the mind-numbing depression he was feeling.

"Ready?" The hanyou said simply, standing in front of the place where the well house was buried. Or at lest had been, Kouga had been busy it seemed. ' So this is what he had been doing all day.'

"No." Kouga snorted, forcing himself to stand up strait despite the limp that fought to come froward. He didn't speak with the same distaste he had when he usually talked to Inuyasha, he couldn't do it, not now. "But I'm going anyway."

"Was..." This question made Inuyasha pause, it was almost embarrassing for him to ask Kouga this. "Was...it hard?" Inuyasha forced himself to ask, but he couldn't gather the nerve to look at Kouga when he asked that question.

"Honestly?"

"No, lie to me dumbass." Inuyasha snorted sarcastically. "*Yes* honestly."

"You had do the same thing I did." Kouga didn't respond right away. "Was it anywhere as hard for you as it was for me?"

"..." Inuyasha folded his arms and let his eyes focus on the dug up well once covered in snow and debris. "It was hard."

"It was the hardest thing I ever did." Kouga admitted without hesitation, and just as soon after he walked silently past Inuyasha to the well, making it clear he didn't want to talk anymore after doing something as unexpected as reveal his feelings to Inuyasha. It surprised him too.

'?'

"Inuyasha! Kouga!"

Both of them halted and looked back when the sound of a familiar voice called both of them out.

Neither of the two expected to find Houjo standing there, his feet firmly planted in the snow haver having visibly sank at lest a full 12 inches in the high build up. But what the eyes were immediately drawn to was his face, the almost disbelieving expression tented with the fatigue of his trek to spot.

Inuyasha was surprised at first, but he said nothing, just watching silently while Kouga took a few steps toward the boy, apparently as unexpectant as he was, and unusually reluctant.

"Houjo?"

"You...you were going to leave weren't you?" Houjo spoke in a voice that wasn't really asking, he seemed to already know the answer. He was smart enough to figure it out, and there was nothing Kouga could have said to make him feel any different.

"Houjo..." And again he didn't know what quite to say, for the second time in his life he didn't know what words to speak. Kouga cursed to himself, things just could never be simple for him, not one thing could ever be easy. "I have to."

"And just leave me behind?" Houjo asked, his voice held a sadness neither one of them had ever heard or imagined could hold. And that made it all the more painful. "With out saying anything at lest."

"I have to do this, I'm sorry but if I don't do something about this problem, your going to get hurt." Kouga assumed he knew what problem he was talking about, how could he not? "And I couldn't...I couldn't wake you up...I just could do it."

"Do what?"

"Do this!" Kouga shouted desperately. "I didn't want it to be like this."

Houjo took in a harsh breath of the cold air, wind sweeping over his face in a small wind. "So that was it, you were just going to leave and not at lest say goodbye to me?"

"I couldn't, it would just make this harder then this already is." Kouga responded, almost as if pleading him to understand. "I...I-"

"And how hard do you think it was gonna be for me?" Houjo nearly yelled, his eyes narrowing a bit and his hands clinching into tight fist at his side as he did his best to hold back what looked like anger. To restrain himself at the very lest. "Not knowing what happened to you...looking everywhere even though I was never going to find you, worrying what could have *possibly* happened to you...It would have been harder for me!" He shouted. His attempt at restraint seemed to fade away, for the first time in as long as he remembered, failing when he started to think about it all, "It would have been harder for me!"

Kouga flinched at the sharp sound, his ears twitching slightly, he never heard Houjo yell before and it caught him off balance. But he quickly regained himself. "How do you think I feel?!" The wolf retorted, why didn't he get this, this wasn't easy for him! He didn't want to do this! "I'm the one that actually has to walk away... I...I." Kouga's voice trialled off into silence, lifting his hand and rubbing the back of his neck uneasily with head held down... "I never wanted to hurt you, I'm doing this to protect you. You understand...right? You get it don't you?"

He did right? He had to, didn't he?

"Yeah..." Houjo clinched his eyes shut and turned his head away towards the distance beyond the shrine, his fist clinched so tight that his hands began to quake. He couldn't stop the tears that came to his eyes, falling to the snow at his feet, so he quickly wiped them away with his wrist. " I under-..." The boy stopped in mid-sentence, causing Kouga to look up at him questioningly. Houjo just froze, his shoulders showing the beginnings of trembling from his restraint. Finally he lifted his head and Kouga strait in the eyes, even if his vision was starting to blur.

He wouldn't do this, he wouldn't accept this! Everything that happened around here was one thing, but not this! "No!"

"What?"

"No." Houjo shook his head, wiping more tears from his eyes. "Maybe before I would have just let you do this, but I can't just sit back now and watch you go like this. Those things could kill you! Look what happened last time!"

"Houjo, thats why I have to-"

"No!" Houjo shook his head again. "I understand that, but I can't just let you do this knowing there's a good chance you could never come back. I...I won't leave you."

"Houjo?" Kouga was a little unsure of what he was saying, he just hoped it wasn't what he thought he was.

"I won't let you go do this by yourself! I can't just sit here knowing your going to get hurt and probably die. I won't do it." Houjo said firmly. "If your going to do this, if your going like this, then I'm going with you."

"Houjo you can't!" Kouga immediately shook his head and declined, protective instincts flaring around him. "It's way too dangerous."

"And it's not here?" Houjo shot back. "Those things are after me and Souta right?" Houjo had noticed it, he had noticed a lot of things, he'd practically studyed it. "And just because you go after it doesn't mean they won't come after us. The only difference will be that you two wont be here."

"I..." Houjo couldn't say anything, he could only looked back to Inuyasha for some hint or a thought of what he should do, but he didn't get any. He was right. "It'll be worse if you go with me, as bad as it was before you'll still be safer here then down there."

Houjo wiped his eyes again and looked down at the ground, feeling the chill of another small breeze sweeping up snow in a cloud of white dust, pouring it into the dark sky. "I was confused." He said, announcing it for all to hear. Finally. "I was confused when I first came here, when I first saw you, but I liked you, a lot. And... I didn't understand anything that was going on, I didn't understand you or Inuyasha, or anything that was happening around me. And I was more scared then I'd ever been in my life when those things attacked us the first time.

But I stayed! I didn't leave, even if it did get more and more dangerous, even when I couldn't stop thinking about going and getting as far away from this as possible... When I saw you get hurt, and I tried to fight those things, it didn't matter anymore. I wasn't confused, and I didn't care if I was afraid. I don't care if it's dangerous, I care if I get hurt or die, or that none of this makes sense to me because I want to fight for you, I want to stay with you. And I don't want you to die."

Houjo had been trying to come up with logical explanations since he'd arrived, for Kouga, for Inuyasha, for his sudden feelings for the Youkai, the attacks of these monsters. Not to mention Kouga and Inuyasha's changes in appearance at different times. Finally after thinking about it long and hard. Houjo came to the conclusion that some things he didn't need to understand, he'd just have faith in it, there was no use trying to comprehend it.

"..." Kouga sighed, he couldn't leave him here, he felt like it was impossible now. Standing here, face to face with him. "You'll just slow us down."

"Then I'll catch up." Houjo said firmly. But how fast can you go at the bottom of a well? What was down there anyway, probably a tunnel or something. If it was big enough he'd bring his bike, that would help him catch up.

"..." Kouga looked back at Inuyasha who still didn't say anything, no help at all. Then back at Houjo, he couldn't do it... "Alright fine."

Houjo looked up in disbelief, as if he didn't think Kouga would actually allow him to come. "R-Really?" A small smile found it's way to his lips and Houjo impulsively sprang on Kouga, throwing his arms around the Youkai.

Inuyasha didn't say anything, he couldn't stop Kouga from bringing him if he tried, so what was the use?

"So, what about me?"

The three of them looked at each other, then turned around for the second time when another familiar voice came.

"Souta?!" Inuyasha was truly surprised to see the boy standing there, fully dressed, he was so busy watching Kouga and Houjo that he didn't notice him at all. "What are you-"

"Just what it looks like." Souta said. It was easy to see that he had been crying himself , and thought about what he was doing at lest a little. So here he stood, the firmest expression he could force onto his face and keep up. "I'm going with you."

"Wha...No way." Inuyasha folded his arms and shook his head, "You can't go, it's way too dangerous."

"It's dangerous here too." Souta said, simply and without anything else too his statment.

"It's safer here."

"You can't leave me here by myself." Souta objected. "I won't do it, I can't do it anymore."

"Souta, you don't-"

"I do understand!" Souta shouted, the swift change in demeanor wasn't much of a surprise considering what his demeanor was before. "That thing could have killed me, I know that!" And he was more afraid of it then he could describe, he was even more afraid of what he was about to do, it was an unpleasant feeling, like he was about jump off a cliff or plunge head first into the center of the ocean. The only thing giving him enough will to go through with it was the thought of Inuyasha leaving him and never coming back. He was afraid of that even more. It was a matter of what fears were stronger then which other ones. "I'm not going to stay behind."

"I'm not going to take you someplace you could get killed." Inuyasha said stubbornly.

"I almost got killed here! I can handle going down there."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can!" Souta shouted just as stubbornly as Inuyasha had. He willed himself into it, and simply shut his mind off and didn't think about it anymore, that was the only way he wouldn't back down. Just keep thinking about what he would lose if he did back down..."I have to do this!" He yelled desperately, and he was desperate.

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do!" Souta yelled, "I don't want to just sit here while everybody fights for me, I can't do that anymore!"

Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked down at Souta, he didn't know where this all came from, why he wanted to go someplace where he could easily die so badly. "Souta..."

"I have to go! Those things aren't going to stop coming after me just because I stay behind. Those things are gonna kill me!" Souta scowled, dropping his head with more tears coming to his eyes. He could have sworn he was done crying. "This is my life! Don't I at lest...Don't I at lest get to fight for it?"

Inuyasha couldn't help himself, he knelt down beside Souta and looked him strait in the eye, and with out hesitation the boy threw his arms around him in a tight hug, crying into his shoulder. "Just listen to me, this is for the best, I'll be back before you know it."

"..." Souta clinched his eyes shut, "No, I wanna help, I want to at lest go with you..."

Inuyasha knew what Kouga felt like now, this was hard. "I'm sorry but I have to do this without you."

"..." Souta felt himself becoming more and more afraid, but for a different reason entirely this time. "No, No! I don't want..."

Inuyasha felt like he should be picking up on something else, this nagging feeling that made his heart sink... "You don't want what?"

"I don't want to be useless and weak anymore!" Souta shouted out all at once.

"Souta?" Inuyasha didn't quite understand it yet, weak and useless.

"I don't want to just be a burden to you." Souta's voice started to fade and a sob forced it's way out in it's place, there, he admitted it...

"Souta...It's not like that." Inuyasha tried to convince him, he got it now, it was the same thing Souta was always worried about, that he would get sick of him and leave him. And maybe this time he found the right way to try and prove he wasn't a coward, even if he was one. Which made what he was trying to do all the more brave, even if he didn't know it now. "I don't think of you that way, Get it through your head! I'm not going to just leave you."

"You told me before what I was doing wasn't the way to prove I wasn't weak." Souta said. "But this is! I'm going with you!"

Inuyasha didn't say anything at first, maybe he couldn't stop Souta from going, the only way would be to knock him out and tie him up, but..."If..." Inuyasha stopped, pausing to make sure this was the right course of action before he conteuned. "If I let you do this you have to listen to everything I say."

Souta quickly wiped his eyes and nodded.

"Damnit...Alright, you can come." Inuyasha sighed, but even though he knew the risks he couldn't help but feel somewhat happy that he was taking Souta with him. He didn't want to leave the boy, he wanted to stay by his side and protect him. He suspected that desire was what broke his will and made him let the boy come along, but it didn't matter now, Souta was coming.

"Thank you Inuyasha!"

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

Alright, so maybe goodbye didn't come, maybe it wasn't something any of them learned yet.

"It's a well, what could really be down there?" Houjo said, completely sure that they'd end up in nothing more then a dark underground passage. The boy stood in the center of the dug out well, half encased in it's normal shed like housing and still baring the hole from when Souta had been dragged through the wall. "It's dry right?"

"It's not like that." Souta told him. Sitting absentmindly on the stairs and waiting patiently, his fingers playing with the strap of his book bag which he'd emptied out and filled with what he could possibly think to bring. Which surprisingly wasn't a lot., he couldn't think of what he would need since he only knew about the world what he'd heard from Kagome's stories and his own limited esperance. He packed an extra pair of clothes, considering what happened to them last time. He left some room for his coat since he wouldn't need it, and all the things he might need to carry. "It's a completely different place."

"It couldn't be that different." Houjo reasoned, it was a tunnel, how different could it be? Houjo stood before the well with his bike ready, which he'd rode here the first day. He'd also emptied out his book bag and could think of a lot more useful things to take with him. Flashlight, matches, first aid kit, but that was as far as he got before Kouga realized he was packing things away and started adding things of his own. Kouga packed in food, as much as he could, since they weren't in the house anymore and there would be no objections about starting a fire. He was currently tilting and twisting it, attempting to get it to the right angle so that it would fit with out being obstructed.

"You'll see when we get there." Souta said.

'?' Houjo paused when he felt a small heat against his chest, he looked down, seeing a familiar purple light radiating from his shirt. The jewel shard, it was glowing? "Hey, why's it glowing?" Houjo tugged the chain out of his shirt and looked over the glowing shard mounted on it. "I don't understand this thing."

"It's reacting to the well." Inuyasha forced his way though the hole in the wall, bringing in a cold burst of air with him. "Ready to go?"

Souta stood up anxiously, feeling a nervousness growing again in the pit of his stomach, it was so strong that he almost could mistake it for fear, but he was with Inuyasha, Kouga and Houjo, he couldn't be afraid, all he needed to do was reassure himself of that. "Yeah." Before it felt like looking over the edge, now he'd take the plunge.

Inuyasha could practically see Souta's stomach twisting, part of his head wished he would back up for his own safety. But contrastingly his heart was glad Souta was going, he didn't want to be apart from the boy, especially when things were getting this dangerous. And another part of his mind was proud of Souta in an embarrassed sort of way, coming despite his seeable fear. He wasn't sure how far Souta would get, almost certain the boy would freeze up at the first attack, but still he was proud he made such strides.

Maybe he'd get to keep going on his work in progress after all.

"Alright, let's get going."

Houjo flinched when he heard Kouga' voice behind him, quickly turning around in a startled blur. Finding himself looking down at Kouga only a few inches shorter."Kouga? You scared me."

Kouga smirked wolfishly, studying the look on Kouga's face, he loved that look. "I know."

Houjo rubbed his head and smiled. "Let's go then."

! - ! - !