Passion

A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait! And really, I'm not to blame for it. Before my exam I had no time to write and afterwards I didn't feel as if I could. I'm still not sure whether I recovered or not. Still two weeks to go before I get the result. *chews fingernails nervously*

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Not one of them. *sighs*


Chapter XI "“ Realisations


" "“ but when you say x equals five you get this tangent here, touching the plane in point C, see?"

Kagome blinked wearily at her maths teacher while all around her students nodded. She did not see anything safe lines and more lines. She did not understand what that man up there at the blackboard was talking about, and at the moment she felt as if she never would understand it at all.

The tiny teacher went on enthusiastically, waving his hands and scribbling on the board. Kagome tried to follow his instructions, dotted down some figures and formulas but all without any real interest. What did she need that stuff for, anyway?

She sighed inwardly and her mind wandered off as the teacher moved on to another problem. After all, she did not need to be able to ascertain any tangents if she wanted to survive a fight with a demon. There, maths was completely useless!

While everybody around her was busy taking notes, Kagome stared down on the half-blank page of her notebook. Her eyes did not see the incomplete calculation, and the teacher's voice was a pleasant hum in the background as she relived the last week in the past.

After she had returned from her meeting with Koga and Sesshomaru their small group had set out, heading back to the village of Edo. They had travelled slowly that day out of consideration for Inu Yasha's and Miroku's injuries. That day the atmosphere within the group had been a bit uncomfortable, and Kagome had been aware of the one or other curious glance cast at her. However, nobody had said anything.

She had felt relieved that day, she remembered. Sesshomaru had not been angry with her. He had understood her and would not urge her to do anything she did not want to do. How quick that had changed!

Kagome grimaced and doodled on the page.

The first sign that things would not stay easy for her had presented itself on the morning after the fateful day. She had not slept very well, missing a warm, firm body pressed against hers while she slept. Highly erotic dreams had tortured her and she felt the pain of unsatisfied lust in her whole body.

She had swayed to the brook near which they had made camp for the night to splash her face with the icy water. It had refreshed her, and she had remained kneeling on the bank, gazing dreamily into the moved water. As the waves died down her face became clearer and clearer until she was at last able to see her image on the surface. It had been a shock that cleared away the last bit of sleepiness.

At first she thought she had imagined things and had leaned down to examine her face form a closer distance. No, it was still there. With a pounding heart and shaking hands she had brushed her moist fringe down, went over to her rucksack and dug out a little pink bag from which she took a mirror. Making sure nobody watched her she had taken a glance at her image in the mirror.

Wide, frantic eyes had looked back at her out of a pale face. Slowly she had brushed her fringe aside and her heart stopped. It was faint but unmistakable: there on her brow was the pale outline of a crescent moon.

A shiver had run down her spine and for a moment she had panicked. They'll see it and know everything! They'll know I'm Sesshomaru's mate! Oh, dear kami, Inu Yasha will go ballistic! He'll kill me! What shall I do?

Sango's voice had brought her back to reality. "Everything all right, Kagome? What are you staring at in the mirror?"

"A spot," had been Kagome's instinctive reaction and her answer had served its purpose. Not only had Sango accepted it without blinking but it had given Kagome a clue of what to do. She had taken her powder compact out of the pink bag and put a thick layer of powder on her brow, inwardly congratulating herself for having at least so much vanity that she carried the powder with her in case any ugly pimples showed their faces.

Of course they boys had made remarks and teased her but they had accepted her explanation for the spot of powder on her brow as readily as Sango had done, which had relaxed a lot of Kagome's tension.

However, as well as that had gone, there had been other mornings. Mornings, when Kagome had barely been able to hide the treacherous mark on her forehead. Besides, the days had still been warm and when she had wiped the sweat off her face she had once or twice wiped the powder away as well. Each time she had felt more dead than alive until she had found a chance to renew her mask.

But not only hiding of this mark had torn at her nerves. There was the other mark on her neck, too. Though it had scarred very quickly it still was sensitive to the touch, and with Shippo more often than not clinging to her shoulder she had had a hard time hiding it. Moreover, the torn neck of her school shirt did not conceal the mark at all. Kagome had to turn up the collar and fasten it with her tie to hide the silver scar. This had brought her more teasing and more sweating. As well as some piercing glances from Inu Yasha and some sideway looks from Miroku.

These two had been another factor that contributed to Kagome's growing nervousness and tension. They had both acted suspiciously in their own rights.

Inu Yasha had barely let her out of his sight, and sometimes he had been staring at her in a very unsettling manner. On other times he had been so deep in thought that not even Shippo yelling in his ear elicited more than a twitch from the hanyou. From time to time he had sniffed her quite openly, but when she had asked him what he did that for her only answer had been a grunt. He had appeared to be tense; as if he was waiting for something. He had never said a word, but that had not comforted Kagome at all.

Yet, no matter how much she was worried about Inu Yasha's behaviour, Miroku's had been even more disconcerting. Kagome had more than once noticed the monk watching her. When her eyes had met his he had only grinned and winked at her. Once or twice he had made a remark that seemed to imply that Miroku knew more than he let show. This had been troubling indeed, but what had caused more concern in Kagome had been the time when Miroku had not been flippant.

It had been on the last morning before arriving at Kaede's village. She had spent an awful night, barely sleeping at all and the little sleep she managed to catch had been disturbed by vivid dreams. She had felt dismal, her body burning with need and her heart aching because she missed Sesshomaru so much. He had stayed true to his word; she had not seen him since the day he had said good bye.

She had been the first to get up that morning, her friends still deeply asleep. It was a lucky circumstance, she had thought, because that way she had been able to pay a short visit to a nearby spring without anybody noticing. Her face in the mirror had shocked her: pale, with huge eyes, surrounded by black shadows. She had looked ill and she had been wondering why her friends had so far not said anything about her appearance. That morning Kagome had applied the powder not only to her brow but also tried to hide the shadows around her eyes with it.

She had just finished her business when a rustle in the dewed grass had alerted her of someone coming. To her surprise it had been Miroku. He had bid her a cheerful good morning and had knelt down next to her. Then he had scrutinised her with a serious expression on his face. It had made her nervous and she had got up, excusing herself.

Yet before she had turned away he had taken her hand, surprising her again. He had given it a gentle squeeze and stopped her disjointed rambling about making breakfast and not letting everybody wait. He had regarded her quite gravely, still holding her hand. His voice had been soft but serious when he spoke.

"You might think me obtrusive, Kagome-sama, but I want to let you know that if you ever needed someone to confide in, I would be glad to listen to you. And if you decide to do so you can be assured of my secrecy."

She had been utterly speechless and stared at him while her mind was in an uproar. Finally she had stammered a feeble thank you and beat a hasty retreat. The remainder of the day she had been as lost to her surroundings as Inu Yasha, busy with trying to discern what Miroku could possibly have meant. Did he suspect something? Did he know her secret? Had her friends talked about her? Did Inu Yasha know? What would Miroku do?

He had done nothing safe hugging her tightly before she jumped into the well. As occupied as her mind had been it had noticed that his hands had stayed strictly on her shoulders. She had remarked this as rather odd. On the other hand, everybody seemed to be acting so little like themselves that odd was apparently the norm.

Take Sango, for example. She had refrained from slapping Miroku altogether. Even if he made a lecherous remark or let his hands wander where they did not belong all she did was sigh and tell Miroku to kindly stop it.

Or Inu Yasha. When she had announced she would stay in her own time for a week he had not protested as she had expected him to do. He had merely grunted, mumbled something about wasting time, and then told her to have a good time and relax. Very un-Inu-Yasha-like.

Or was it only her? Was it only because she felt so different that she thought everybody else had changed as well?

A clatter jerked Kagome back to the reality of her class room. She blinked rapidly at her teacher, for the moment believing her day-dreaming had been noticed. But then the boy next to her sat down and his chair scrapped over the floor once again.

Kagome sighed and looked down at the strange melange of forms, figures and doodling in her notebook. Had she scrawled these hearts? Had she written "¦ Kagome's eyes widened as she realised that among the flowers and hearts and birds she had written Sesshomaru's name. Not only once. Several times.

She blushed violently. If someone had seen this "¦! Hastily she turned the page, sat up straight and peered at the blackboard. There was a new calculation, almost finished, and she had not written down one bit of it. With a sigh she bent over her notebook and started copying the calculation.

It was all Greek to her. How could any living person be able to solve such a task? She had not the foggiest idea how to go about it. She did not understand one bit of what her teacher explained and she was rapidly losing any interest in ever understanding him. Who needed maths, anyway? If she was in need of a subject it would be "˜dealing with irritating hanyous, slightly deranged grandfathers and nosy friends'.

Grandpa"¦ what would he say if he knew of his granddaughter's bond with a demon? Kagome grimaced slightly. He'd have a heart stroke. To think that at first she had been relieved when she had emerged from the well in her time!

Yet she had been.

No more hiding, she had thought. Finally she would have time to rest not only her body but her mind as well. She no longer had to hide the mark on her neck and the half-moon on her brow from her friends. She no longer had to worry about her friends' behaviour or that they would find out.

She had been so happy at first to be free of these restraints, and although she felt more than awful at the thought of being separated from Sesshomaru by five hundred years her steps had been light as she had walked out of the well-shed, and a smile had been playing on her lips. This new, lighter mood had lasted even as she had met her mother at entering the house.

Mrs Higurashi had been about to enter the kitchen, her arms full of dirty laundry. At the sight of her daughter she started before a bright, radiant smile lit her face up.

"Kagome!" The laundry fell onto the floor and Kagome found herself wrapped in a tight embrace. "My dear child! Such a surprise! I started wondering when you would be back. You've been gone for so long! Are you all right?" She peered into the tired face of her little girl.

Kagome smiled at her mother. "Yes, I'm fine. Only terribly tired."

Her mother shook her head and clacked her tongue. "Well, then you'd better lie down for a while. Or do you want to bathe first? Are you hungry? It's still some time till dinner, and if you can't wait I'll quickly fix you something."

"No, thanks, I'm not hungry. But a bath sounds great."

"Off you go, then. Give me your bag. I'll put it into your room. I think there's more dirty laundry in there? Yes, yes of course. Ah, no need to show me, Kagome. Go and have your bath." Mrs Higurashi smiled and watched her daughter run up the stairs and enter the bathroom before she took the heavy backpack into the kitchen and sifted through it.

Kagome had enjoyed this first, real bath since the year dot. First a shower with warm water and then some time relaxing in the hot tub. She had almost fallen asleep. Almost. The gnawing feeling in her chest had kept her awake. The feeling of missing Sesshomaru.

Since she had arrived in her own time it had become worse than before. The knowledge that he was "“ in all probability "“ nowhere near her had sharpened the earlier pain. She felt as if some limb had been cut off. Of course, she could go on without it, but it was not the same anymore. And it would never be again without him.

Was it this that he meant when he said that one day my life will no longer make sense without him? she pondered and sunk deeper into the hot water. Or is this only the first sign of it? Can it get worse? Dear gods, no! Please! If it gets worse "¦

Already the thought of him not near hurt. What would happen if it got stronger? Kagome sighed. She missed him like hell and it was only her first day at home. How could she go through the other days without going insane?

The question arouse anew at the dinner table. Kagome had, after her bath, slept for an hour and felt a little refreshed and ready to be part of the family again. Grandpa and Souta had welcomed her happily and now that she was sitting at the table together with them, waiting for her mother to serve dinner, she felt a lot lighter.

However, the lighter mood vanished soon with Souta's question when Inu Yasha would come to get her. Kagome smiled, though the memory of Inu Yasha brought worry and trouble with it.

"He won't come this time," she answered her brother. "I asked him if it was okay to stay at home for a week and he said yes."

"Aww"¦" pouted Souta. Then he brightened. "Hey, maybe he changes his opinion and comes to get you, Sis! That'd be great! I could show him my sword."

"Sword?"

Souta nodded. "Yeah, I made it myself. Wanna see it?"

He was already half up when Mrs Higurashi stopped him. "Later, Souta. We're at dinner."

"Oops, sorry mum."

Kagome stirred her rice. She had lost her appetite. Inside of her two emotions were battling; worry and tension at the thought of Inu Yasha and her friends and longing at the thought of Sesshomaru.

And it got worse for her.

"Sis? Why do you have that brown stuff on your brow?" Souta eyed his sister over his bowl, gazing in fascination at the layer of powder on her face.

Kagome felt the burden of concealment press down onto her shoulders once more. Why had she not seen it before? She still had to hide the marks on her body from view! She was so lucky to have put on her mask once again after bathing, otherwise her family would now be asking far more uncomfortable questions.

"That's powder, Souta," she said as calmly as possible. "And I have it on my brow to hide an ugly pimple."

Souta mocked her for being vain, but Kagome did not react to it. She could not tell her family the truth! How horrible was that? She had found a wonderful man that made her feel like nobody else had ever done and she could not tell them about it! She could not tell her mother and laugh with her and share her little secrets. She would never understand that her 15-year-old daughter had lost her virginity "“ and to a demon no less! She would never accept that her daughter had agreed to become the demon's mate.

Kagome felt hollow. Her mother would not understand it. She did not understand it herself! Her mother would be angry or, worse, disappointed! Maybe even forbid her to go back again! No, she could not tell her. And Grandpa even less!

She felt a hysteric laugh rise in her throat at the thought of what Gramps would say when she told him had mated with a demon. And not just some demon, but a demon lord. No, she could not tell him either.

Souta was no question. As much as she liked her little brother, this special topic was nothing she would ever discuss with him! Besides, he was still too young to understand her.

Her shoulders drooped and she sighed into her rice. Dammit! Damn the whole situation! Was he really worth it? Was Sesshomaru worth it that she lied to her friends and her family? That she kept a huge part of her life from them? Was the feeling of completion enough to compensate her for the near-loss of those others close to her heart?

Yet, she could not go back. She had agreed to become his mate and had thus sealed her fate. She had to live with her decision. She would one day lose her friends and her family because of him. And if she refused to lose them she would lose him.

Kagome gasped at the dreadful, cold pain that tore through her at the thought. Never had she felt anything like this! If this was how she would feel if she lost Sesshomaru "¦ she'd rather lose her live!

"Kagome?" her mother's worried voice cut through the layers of despair. Kagome looked up. Everybody was watching her.

"Kagome, dear, are you okay?" asked her grandfather. "You do look pale. Hah, I know just the thing for you! I found it in the shed when I tidied up a bit. It is incense that is said to heal every wound of the soul. The legend says "“"

"Aw, please, Gramps! Kagome doesn't need this stuff!" interrupted Souta the old man's tale.

"Humph, you ignorant!" The old man was inclined to feel offended.

"Shush, father," said his daughter before she turned to the young girl. "Is something wrong, Kagome? Did something happen on the other side of the well?"

Kagome could not help to laugh. Yes, you could say so.

"Hm, yes," she said slowly, gazing down into her rice again.

"Do you want to talk about it? Later, maybe? Shall I come into your room?"

Kagome fought hard to keep the tears back. How she wanted to talk to her mother! How she longed to tell her about Sesshomaru! But she could not. Not even a little bit. Because if she did, her mother would know. Her mother knew her. She would be able to tell the truth from her voice, from her eyes. She had to avoid that!

So, Kagome shook her head and forced herself to smile. "No, it's okay. It was just "¦ so much. And confusing, and "¦" she shrugged.

"Hm, are you sure?"

No. "Yes, mum."

Mrs Higurashi eyed her daughter for a moment but then nodded and changed the topic.

That had been the first evening and Kagome thought she had never been so happy in her life as when it ended. Which of course made her feel horrible. But she had longed to hide in her room, hide from the eyes of the world. She had wanted to forget her worries for a moment but she knew she could not. So, hiding them was the next best option.

She had gone to bed early that night. Yet despite her exhaustion and tiredness she had not been able to fall asleep for a long time. Her troubled thoughts and emotions had kept her awake. They had been whirling in her mind and clenching her heart and no matter what she had done they had not left her. They had closed in on her until she had felt as if she needed to scream. Finally her hand had crept up to her shoulder and her fingers had brushed her mark.

She had fallen asleep like this every night since he had left her. Somehow the touch of her mark had soothed her. She had felt safe and warm when she had touched it. A little bit as if she had touched him.

However, this night the touch of her mark had not helped as it used to. It had only reminded her of how far away he was and what difficulties lay ahead of her.

It had been long past midnight until at last exhaustion took over, and when she had woken up in the morning she had not felt rested at all. And it had been the same then following nights. She just could not fall asleep and lay tossing and turning for hours on end, leaving her tired and cross in the morning.

It was that state of fatigue that Kagome blamed her odd behaviour on. For what else could the explanation for the things she did and felt? Her emotions had always been changing quickly but now she was experiencing a true emotional roller coaster. One second she felt quite happy only to want to hide and cry her eyes out in the next. She snapped at her brother and was rude to her grandfather only to hug and kiss them within minutes.

Mrs Higurashi thought her daughter to be either stressed or in love. Grandpa thought his granddaughter to be possessed by a demon. Souta thought his sister to be mad.

Kagome said she suffered from trying to catch up with schoolwork.

However, what could not be so easily explained were her odd reactions. Kagome felt mortally embarrassed but she could not change it. When she heard a dog bark she burst into tears. When her grandfather lectured his grandchildren on demons she started grinning like an idiot. She had to retire to her room to calm down after she had seen a man wearing a white kimono on TV.

Mrs Higurashi resumed her daughter was madly in love with someone that combined the aspects of dog and demon and wore white kimonos. Grandpa and Souta decided Kagome had to be in these days of the month. Kagome said nothing. How could she explain it, anyway?

Kagome sighed silently and tried to ban the embarrassing memories from her mind. She really ought to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. How was she ever to catch up with everything if she did not listen?

But the memories, as usual with embarrassing memories, refused to be banned. They teased her and fluttered through her mind and finally settled on the most recent event. Kagome decided that this had to have been the all-time high of strange reactions.

It had happened this morning at breakfast. It was the first day that Kagome went to school again though she had been at home for three days now. But her mother had persuaded her to stay at home, claiming she was too exhausted to go to school. However, last night Kagome had declared she needed to go to school again and her mother, after mild protests, had said no more.

The whole family had been sitting at the table, Souta chatting with Mrs Higurashi, Kagome deep in thoughts and Grandpa hidden behind his newspaper. Eventually he put it down to peer at his granddaughter, who was listlessly nibbling on her toast.

"Kagome, my dear," the old man began with great concern. "Do you feel well enough to go to school today?"

Kagome looked up. "Yeah. And even if I didn't I had to go."

Grandpa shook his head. "That's such a pity. I found such a fine new disease for you "¦ Are you sure you feel well enough? Because, here, it was just in the paper "¦"

He rustled imposingly with the pages and Kagome groaned. Paying no heed to her the old man cheerfully pointed at one article. "Look here, Kagome! Here it is, a new-found disease. People in the west have to "“ Kagome! Are you all right?"

He looked worriedly at the girl who was sitting on the floor, coughing violently, and then at the mess that was the breakfast table.

Kagome's teacup lay on her plate where it had fallen, spilling yellow liquid over the half-eaten toast. The jam jar that had been standing at her left elbow had been knocked over and pink, sweet droplets graced the whole table. In falling the jar had hit Mrs Higurashi's teacup and knocked it over as well, the tea now soaking the tablecloth and the butter.

"Oh dear," remarked Mrs Higurashi calmly and knelt down to pat her daughter's back. "Okay, Kagome?"

The girl was gasping for air, her face beet-red. But she managed to nod. Mrs Higurashi patted her shoulder and got up to retrieve a cloth to clean the table.

Souta gaped at his sister who was slowly getting to her feet, holding onto her chair that had been knocked against the sink.

"Whoa, Sis, what's up? Swallowed the wrong way?"

Kagome panted and nodded.

"You need to be more careful, Kagome," admonished the grandfather. "If you kill yourself it will help nobody. Besides, if you really don't want to go to school I'll write an excuse with this wonderful new disease. It's called Mad Cow disease and "“"

"Father," interrupted Mrs Higurashi's pleasant voice, gently reprimanding.

"But, my dear, it's really a good "˜un! The paper says it might even infect humans and not only cattle, and since it's only just discovered nobody will know the signs! It's totally safe for Kagome to suffer from Mad Cow Disease!"

"Thanks, Grandpa," wheezed Kagome. "You "¦ you said something about the west?" she continued with forced casualness. "You're talking about Kyoto way?"

"No, no!" the old man shook his head. "Not in Japan! Somewhere in Europe, you know. Great Britain, they say in the paper. No need to-"

"Grandpa," interrupted Kagome waspishly, "only to inform you: we live in Japan, not in Great Britain, and neither am I cattle!"

She jumped up, grabbed her bag and darted towards the door. "I'm gone now!"

The door slammed shut behind her and the three remaining people blinked in silent surprise at the sudden exit.

Mrs Higurashi sighed and then bent down to finish cleaning the table.

"What? What have I said?" asked the old man, thoroughly bewildered. "I only wanted to help her!"

"Sis is mad," whispered Souta. "She's been for some time. Dunno why, but last time she stayed here I saw her standing in her room all undressed and-"

"Souta!" said Mrs Higurashi sternly. "There are hundred reasons why she would be undressed and it is very impolite of you to talk about it! Besides, isn't it time for you to leave for school as well?"

Souta understood and hurried to leave.

Kagome, meanwhile, was stomping through the streets towards school, a fierce expression on her face. People gave her a wide berth after a look at it. She did not notice them, though. She was busy berating herself.

That tops it! I can't believe I did that! Jumped like being shot just because Gramps said "˜west'! I've got to be crazy. This whole situation is crazy! What comes next? Will I start crying when someone mentions a bath? Or the night? This is insane. How can I stop it?

She had not come up with an idea when she reached the school building, had not come up with a solution after break and had by now given it up altogether because it was useless and all this thinking about her reactions to things she connected with Sesshomaru had only resulted in her thinking about him. She was still remembering him when the ringing of the bell brought her back to reality.

Around her students threw their books into their bags and hurried out of the room. Kagome looked down at her fragmentary notes and closed her notebook with a sigh. This whole day in school had been a waste of time. Why had she decided to come? Hell, why did she decide to go back home? If she had wanted a real holiday she should have gone with Sesshomaru "¦

She sighed again as this thought caused her heart to clench painfully. It had not been possible. Of course, if she had gone with him she would not have been compelled to hide the marks on her body and her soul. On the other hand he would not have let her go again, and as much pleasant tingling as this thought caused in her whole body it was not possible.

Not yet. He had said the day would come and she knew it would. As soon as she had finished her task of retrieving the shikon shards and of defeating Naraku she would go to him.

With a decisive shake of her head she got up and stuffed books and pens into her bag. The room around her was already half empty, her fellow students dashing into the freedom of the afternoon. Kagome noticed that her friends were gone as well and knit her brows in confusion. That was something very unusual. She had expected them to drown her in questions "¦

"Higurashi?"

Kagome looked up at the shy voice calling her name. Now she knew why her friends had gone. There, under the door, stood Hojo, holding himself oddly stiff and eying her with mixed apprehension and determination. He looked so little like he usually did that she wondered vaguely if he was ill.

"Hello, Hojo. How are you?" Outwardly she smiled but inwardly she groaned. She really did not need this now! She felt tired, and miserable, and she missed Sesshomaru, and the last thing she wanted now was being forced to hold a conversation with Hojo.

Please, just say hi and I'm fine and then go.

But Hojo did not understand the silent plea. Instead, he came closer until he stood right in front of her. Taking a deep breath he blurted out, "I want to apologise."

Kagome blinked. "Huh? Apologise? What for?"

He shuffled his feet and looked away. "For my behaviour after my cousin's birthday party."

Kagome racked her brain, trying to remember what had happened at that party.

Misinterpreting her silence Hojo hurried on, "Please, Higurashi, say you forgive me. It was only because I drank too much beer! I know this is a weak excuse "“ it's no excuse at all, but "¦ it's the only explanation I have. Honestly, I'm so sorry. I had no right to force myself upon you and I swear it'll never happen again and "“"

"It's okay, Hojo." Kagome had finally remembered. Right, he had tried to kiss her. This had been at a time when she had still been running from the undeniable attraction, no, passion she felt for Sesshomaru. So much had happened since then that she had forgotten about it. Well, it did not really matter anymore. "I accept your apology. Let's not talk about it anymore."

"Really? You forgive me?" Hojo's face brightened and he straightened. "That's awfully kind of you. Thanks so much, Higurashi! I promise you won't regret it!"

She smiled indulgently at him. He reminded her so much of a child "¦ he was like Shippo in his childish exuberance. She nodded at him and made move to walk past him out of the door but he held her back.

"Um, Higurashi," he began, "do you "¦ do you feel better?"

Kagome gazed at him in surprise. "Well, yes."

"I only ask because you looked so awful when I saw you last "¦ and you've been ill for so long, you know, and you're rather pale now. I couldn't help wondering if you're all right."

No, she was not feeling all right. She felt horrible. But that was not his business.

"Yes, sure, I'm fine."

"Well, then," he smiled broadly, "would you like to go to the cinema with me?"

Kagome closed her eyes for a moment. Why had she not seen this coming? He was forever asking her out. She should have said she felt still too exhausted from whatever illness her grandpa had come up with last time. Now she had to tell him she could not go out with him anymore. It would hurt him, undoubtedly. But she could not, would not, accept his invitation. She belonged to Sesshomaru now. She would not date any other guy.

Not that she was interested in any other guy than Sesshomaru at all!

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was smiling at her; this huge, boyish smile. Her heart cringed at the thought that she had to hurt him, yet at the same time she felt oddly calm. There was no way she could avoid this. She had to tell him no. She belonged to someone else.

Besides, it would not be fair to him if she went out with him and allowed him to believe that maybe, someday there would be more between them when she new very well this could never happen. Not now that she had found Sesshomaru. He was all she wanted "“ and she wanted him so much!

So, with a soft smile, she met his eyes and answered, "I'm sorry, Hojo, but no. I won't go out with you."

His face fell. "Why? Is it because "¦ because what happened after the party? Please, I swear, it won't happen again!"

"No," she shook her head, "it's not because of what happened after the party. I told you it's okay."

"Why then? Why won't you come with me? Is it the cinema? Would you rather go somewhere else?"

"No. I'm sorry, very sorry, Hojo, but I won't go out with you again."

He stared at her, shocked, stunned. Seeing him so hurt and confused, and by her words no less, made her feel for him. But pity would not make her change her mind. Not this time. Not ever again.

"Why not?" Hojo asked shakily. "Have I done something else to offend you? Don't you like me anymore?"

"You have done nothing wrong, Hojo," she said softly. How could she break the news best to him? There was no way how she could do it gently. So it left her only the truth. "I can't date you anymore because "¦ there's someone else."

He blinked. "Someone else? You mean you "¦ there's another guy you're dating?"

"Yes." Well, kind of, anyway. If having wild, passionate sex counted as dating.

"But "¦ but you weren't dating anyone else a month ago!" Hojo was still trying to come to terms with what he had just heard.

"N-no "¦That is, yes." A month ago she had not been a virgin anymore but that was nothing she would tell Hojo.

He frowned and Kagome hurried to elaborate, "I "“ we "“ had "¦ well, seen each other. But I didn't think it would last. Since that time we've become a lot closer and "¦ You see, he's important to me. I don't know if he feels the same for me but I won't date any other guy. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you if I kept dating you while I know I only want him."

Hojo looked at her in silence and she began to wonder what she had said that had brought this haunted expression into his eyes.

Finally he broke the silence. "Do you love that guy?"

Kagome blinked in surprise "“ and then blinked again in realisation.

It struck her forcefully, and the world faded away. She did not see anything, did not hear anything safe the beat of her heard. Her whole body seemed to be pulsating softly. She felt an embracing warmth and that feeling of rightness, of completeness she had so missed.

Yes, she did.

Her eyes widened and she stared at Hojo without really seeing him.

She saw her mate's pale, beautiful face, his golden eyes, glowing softly as he smiled at her, burning fiercely red when he took her. She saw him sitting on a rock, waiting for her, bathed in silvery moonlight. She saw the hard yet passionate expression on his face as he told her he wanted her. She saw his grin as he told her he would wait for her.

Her heartbeat sped up. She felt as if something in her chest was just blossoming, something so sweet and touching it almost made her cry.

Yes, she loved Sesshomaru.

It felt so right that she wondered why she had never realised it before.

How could she not love him? He was everything she wanted in a man!

He could be both gentle and rough, and he always seemed to know which way she needed. He had said he wanted her; her, and not the reincarnation; her, and not the shard detector. He had asked her to be his mate rather than ordered her. He honoured her decision even though he did not like it at all. When she was with him she felt safe and cherished. He gave her the feeling of being special and important, of being a treasure that needed to be protected. She knew he was honest; he would not lie to her or betray her. She trusted him.

And there was more. She had felt the touch of destiny when she was with him. It had not been a lie when she had told Koga that her bond with Sesshomaru was fated. She had felt it, known it the moment she had said it. It had been a strange, almost frightening knowledge.

However, this was not the only sign. She remembered the feeling of completeness when he had marked her. She remembered the feeling of his soul embracing hers. Surely this was nothing ordinary! Neither was the bond they shared via the mark.

When she touched it she felt as if she was touching him, and she had the strong conjecture that he knew it when she touched it. Sometimes she thought she could feel him, too. Briefly but unmistakeably. And then she knew he was thinking of her, too; was missing her, too.

How could she not love him?

"Yes," she whispered, wonder in her voice. "I do."

Hojo flinched at those quiet words. He had been watching her, had seen her vacant stare turn soft. He had seen her eyes light up and her lips curl into a most tender smile. His insides turned cold and bitter jealousy knotted his stomach. Did the guy know what a happy man he was, having won the loveliest girl there was?

He sighed dejectedly, wishing he had never seen Kagome Higurashi. He had never felt so miserable in his life before. He wished he had never been born.

"I "“ I wish you both luck," was all he managed. Then he turned and walked away as fast as his dignity allowed.

Kagome watched him leave, still caught in the rosy glow of her realisation. She could not even feel sorry for him now. She was too "¦ what was she? Happy? Overwhelmed? Jubilant? Frightened?

She knit her brows and walked slowly out of the class room. Her steps echoed in the empty corridors of the school.

What should she do now? Should she tell him? But would he allow her to go after this confession? She could not risk it. On the other hand she did not want to go on as if nothing had happened and hide her feelings from him. Gods, how she missed him!

She descended the stairs as if she was in a dream. A teacher passed her but she did not notice the woman who cast her a worried glance. Miss Higurashi did not look healthy. Poor girl! So many serious illnesses at such a young age! And how bravely she dealt with this burden!

Kagome, unaware of the teacher's thoughts, walked on, deep in thought.

But what about him? She had told Hojo she did not know if Sesshomaru felt the same for her. To be more exact, she did not know if he felt something for her at all safe desire. On the other hand, he had to! He could not have been so gentle, so understanding if he did not feel something more than lust for her!

She remembered having thought about his feelings for her a week ago. He had just left her after he had told her he would wait for her. Yes, she remembered suspecting him of tender feelings for her. Her knees shook. What an incredibly "¦ frightening "¦ beautiful thought! Sesshomaru in love with her! Could it be true?

Kagome stopped in front of the glass door that led into the court, one hand at the handle, and stared at her reflection.

Did he love her? Had he been in love with her all the time? No, impossible. Until the day he had saved her from the demons he had shown only contempt for her. Why had he changed? Because there was no doubt that he had. So, what had caused this change?

On the other hand, had she not changed as well? She had not liked him before that fateful day. She had thought him a cold-blooded, arrogant killer. When had that changed?

Kagome frowned at her image and pushed the door open. She stepped outside the building into the sun.

When had she changed? Almost immediately, hadn't she? She had wondered if he would come for her again, that day at the pond. Surely she would not have done so if she had still disliked him? But that meant she had changed her opinion after the first time "¦ was she really that inconstant? She had been in love with Inu Yasha then. How could she have changed so quickly?

Inu Yasha "¦ yes, she had been in love with him. She loved him still. He was her friend! They had been through so much together. She did love Inu Yasha. Yet this love was so totally different from what she felt for Sesshomaru. With Sesshomaru, she never had the desire to protect him form harm. She never wanted him to have friends, to learn how to trust again, and to laugh. She never wanted to comfort him when someone had hurt him.

No, when she was with Sesshomaru she wanted to kiss him and hold him. She wanted to feel his body close to her, hear his silent laugh, see his eyes sparkle and feel his touch.

What did this tell her? She loved Inu Yasha as a friend, as a brother and Sesshomaru as a man. Gods, how she missed him "¦

Suddenly hands grabbed her arms and brought her dawdling steps to a halt. Two shadows moved to stand in front of her and a third danced around them at the edge of her vision.

"Kagome," cried the dismayed voice of Ayumi, "what have you said to Hojo?"

"What did you tell him?" queried the shadow that was Yuka. "He looked like hell!"

"Oh, oh, did you tell him you have a boyfriend, Kagome?" squealed Eri from behind her.

Kagome blinked at them and slowly returned to the present.

"Oh, there you are," she said disjointedly. "I wondered where you had gone."

Ayumi shook her arm. "Kagome! How can you say that? Of course we let you and Hojo alone!"

"He's wanted to talk to you for ages!" threw Yuka in. "He said it was important."

"Oh, Kagome, did he ask you to be his girlfriend?" chirped Eri.

Kagome peered at her over her shoulder. "No."

"He asked you out again, right?" asked bossy Ayumi.

Kagome nodded. "Yes, he did."

"And you said no, right?"

"Well, yes, I-"

"Kagome! How could you!" wailed Yuka. "He's the cutest boy in school and he's so clever and the best in his class! He could have helped you to revise, you know. Besides, he's really nice."

"Oh, I think Yuka fancies him," giggled Eri.

"What if I do?" snapped Yuka. "Not that is matters, for all he sees is Kagome. You're such a lucky girl! How could you say no?"

"How could I've said yes when there's someone else?" retorted Kagome.

There was a simultaneous gasp from her three friends.

"Kagome! You have a boyfriend!"

"Really? Kagome, is this true?"

"You made up with this egoistic, violent, jealous guy?"

"Oh, this is romantic!"

"Shut up, Eri, that's stupid! The guy's cheated on her once before. What if he does again?"

"Maybe he came to his senses and realised he loves Kagome more than this ex-girlfriend of his?"

"Kagome, is that guy your boyfriend?"

Kagome blinked. "Huh? Inu Yasha? No."

Another three-fold gasp.

"Another guy?" whispered Eri, awed.

Then all Kagome remembered was that the grip on her arms tightened, and she was dragged away by her friends. Later, she found herself sitting in their usual booth at Wacdonald's, a tray with greasy chips and a strawberry-flavoured shake made of sugar, sweeteners and foam in front of her.

"Now, Kagome," Ayumi put her elbows on the table and stared hard at Kagome. "Spill it! Why had Hojo wanted to talk to you so urgently? What happened between you? What did you tell him? Who is that other guy?"

Kagome sighed and sucked her shake. She knew that if she answered one question she would very soon be talking about Sesshomaru in detail "¦

"Kagome!" cried Yuka.

Yet, why not? Her friends didn't know the truth. They believed Inu Yasha to be just another guy and not a half-demon from the Warring States. They would not get angry, they would not be disappointed in her, and they would not condemn her for loving a demon. If she knew her friends at all, they would be excited and nosy and force her to tell everything. It was, at long last, her chance to talk about him.

Besides, if she told them they would stop trying to hook her up with Hojo. "Oh, okay. Hojo wanted to talk to me because he wanted to apologise for something -"

"What? Apologise? What for?"

Kagome shook her head. "Doesn't matter. It's not important. I told him so. Then -"

"Hey, you think you can just leave this out? What has he done that needed an apology?"

Kagome glared at Yuka. "I won't tell."

"Pleeeaase!"

"No."

"Kagomeeee"¦"

"No. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?"

"Yes, but -"

"Shut up, Yuka," ordered Ayumi. "If you so want to know ask Hojo! Go on, Kagome."

"Okay. He then asked me if I liked to go to the cinema with him and I told him no. He asked why and I told him there's someone else and that because of that someone I don't want to date other guys. He asked me -" She stopped and blushed.

"Asked you what?" prompted Ayumi.

"He"¦ well, he asked me if I love that guy"¦"

"And? What did you say?"

Ayumi, Yuka and Eri had bent forwards and were now sitting on the edge of their seats. Their eyes were fixed on Kagome and they appeared to be holding their breaths. Kagome blushed harder and found a sudden interest in her chips.

"I said I do," she mumbled.

"Awww"¦." breathed Eri and fell back into her chair.

Ayumi and Yuka let out their bated breath.

"You really love someone, Kagome?" asked Yuka after a while.

Kagome nodded.

"Is it "¦ is it this jealous guy?"

Kagome shook her head and flushed a deeper shade of red.

"Who is it then?"

Again, the three girls leaned forwards and stared at Kagome. Kagome twitched in her seat. She had not thought that talking about Sesshomaru would be that hard.

"His brother," she finally admitted.

"His brother?"

"He has a brother?"

"Wow, Kagome, that's naughty! Dating both brothers at the same time!"

Kagome shot up. Her eyes sparkled with fury and she glared at Yuka. "You think so?" she hissed. "Well, Inu Yasha made his choice and it wasn't me! So, tell me, do I not have the right to chose someone else then?"

Yuka drew back from the blaze in Kagome's eyes and the other two gaped at the girl.

"O-of course you have," stammered Yuka. "I-I didn't know the egoistic, jealous guy had got back together with his ex."

Kagome's fury vanished. She nodded. "Yeah, you know, they "¦ made up some time ago and Inu Yasha decided he "¦ well, he chose her."

"Must have been a blow to you," guesses Eri sympathetically.

"Yes, it was. But I got over it and "“"

" "“ now you're dating his brother," finished Ayumi the sentence. "Is he older or younger than this Inu Yasha?"

"Older."

"How much older?"

Kagome frowned. How old was Sesshomaru? Several hundred years in all probability. She grinned as she imagined her friends' faces at that disclosure.

"Kagome? How old is he?"

Kagome shrugged and settled on an age. "25."

"Kagome!" cried Ayumi. "10 years older than you!"

Nope, several hundred.

"Hey, what's the matter, Ayumi?" Eri asked.

"He's too old!"

Oh, just marginally.

"No, he's not. Only ten years! That's nothing. Besides, he's a grown-up and mature and everything. He'd treat Kagome better than the other one."

Ayumi frowned then turned to Kagome. "What is he like, Kagome?"

Kagome smiled softly. "He's arrogant, cold and snobbish."

Yuka swallowed her shake the wrong way and Ayumi screamed, "What?!"

Kagome's smile widened. "But when he's with me he's kind and sweet and understanding."

Eri sighed dreamily. "Wow"¦ Is he jealous, too?"

"N-no, not jealous"¦"

"But?"

"Well, he made it very clear that he doesn't like other guys coming too close to me."

Eri sighed again. "You're such a lucky girl! Is he handsome?"

Kagome's eyes misted and she smiled dreamily, watched with growing fascination by her friends. "No"¦"

"Oh, Kagome!" gasped Yuka. "You fell in love with someone who's not handsome?!"

Eri giggled. "Oh, Yuka, you don't understand"¦"

"What? She said he's not handsome!"

"No," agreed Kagome. "He's beautiful."

Eri giggled again and the other two gasped.

"W-what does he look like?" asked Ayumi, leaning forwards again.

"He has long, fair hair"¦"

"Blond?"

"Hm, yes, kind of silvery."

"Aww"¦"

"Yeah, and golden eyes"¦"

Three girls sighed dreamily as they envisioned it and the forth smiled lovingly at the memory of these eyes.

"Is he tall?" Eri's voice came almost in a whisper.

"Yes, very. Taller than Hojo."

"What else? What is his body like?"

"Eri!" said Ayumi indignantly. "That's "¦ indecent."

Eri did not listen. She and Yuka watched Kagome like a hungry wolf would watch an unsuspecting sheep.

"Kagome," Yuka urged, "what does he look like?"

Kagome blushed slightly and smiled at her hands. "He has broad shoulders," she began softly, "and slender hips and long legs. Oh, and long fingers "¦" She shivered as she remembered what he could do with these fingers. Her friends stared at her.

"He's very muscular," Kagome continued, unaware of the reaction she caused, "but not overly so. He's not a muscleman, and it's all natural and not only to show off. His skin is really soft. His lips, too, even though they don't look like it."

"Kagome," breathed Yuka, "did you kiss him?"

Kagome nodded.

"Was it your first kiss?"

Kagome nodded.

"What was it like?"

Kagome propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand. "It was "¦ nothing like I ever thought it would be. I felt tingly all over"¦ light and heavy at the same time "¦ it was pure feeling."

Three pairs of eyes gaped at her.

"Kagome," whispered Eri, "did you "¦ sleep with him?"

Ayumi and Yuka bent forwards.

Kagome blushed furiously and nodded.

"Gosh, Kagome!" exclaimed Yuka. "This is serious, isn't it?"

Kagome blinked at Yuka. Then, as if in trance, she raised her right hand and laid it on her mark. "Yes," she said quietly. "Very."

And that moment the true meaning of her bond with Sesshomaru hit her. Her heart skipped a beat and then began pounding in her chest. Gods, why have I never thought about it? How could I have forgotten about it?

Inu Yasha had once told her about the life-bond of the demons. After they had met Koga he had thought it best to tell her what it was about. He had been afraid Kagome could unknowingly agree to Koga's offerings and let him mark her. The life-bond, he had explained, was "“ as the name suggested "“ a bond for life. It could not be broken. It would last until one of them died.

Why have I never thought about this before? He marked me as his mate and we're bound to each other for the rest of ours lives. That's marriage! I'm married! Married to Sesshomaru!

"And you never told us about it!" complained Ayumi. "How long have you been dating?"

Kagome blinked at the other girl and struggled to get her mixed thoughts back under control. "A bit over a month, but"¦"

"A bit over a month?!" shrieked Ayumi. Several heads turned their way and she blushed. "A bit over a month?" she repeated quietly. "You've only known him for a little over a month?"

Kagome shook her head. "No, no, I've known him for several months! But only recently we've become closer."

"Why not sooner?" asked Eri.

"He did not take notice of me before, and if he did he always "¦ sneered at me."

"And you're dating this guy?" Ayumi sounded scandalised.

"Well, he did change! One day I was in trouble and none of my friends was there to help me. He stepped in and within the blink of an eye the problem was solved and "¦ well, afterwards"¦"

"You know what, Kagome?" said Eri. "I think he's always liked you but thought you're with his brother and that's why he was so mean to you. And after he helped you he couldn't deny his feelings any longer."

Kagome stared at Eri. Was she right? Could she be right? But he hadn't spoken of feelings at all the first times they had met. Only when he had called her the first time he had promised to protect her and had been so sweet "¦

"Aw, Eri, things like that only happen in books," said Ayumi.

"No, they don't. They do happen in reality as well!"

Ayumi snorted.

"Kagome?" spoke up Yuka. "I don't quite get it. You said you'd been dating for a little over a month. How could you do that when you were in hospital the last few weeks?"

"Maybe he's a doctor?" suggested Ayumi. "He's old enough to have finished studying."

"Oh, Kagome, is he a doctor?"

Kagome hesitated, and then grinned lopsidedly. "Well, he is said to be able to revive the dead."

And that was perfectly true. Just not in the way her friends understood it. However, the idea of Sesshomaru being a doctor, as ridiculous as it was at first thought, was perfect. It explained the situation to everybody's liking.

Besides, she did always feel better when she was with him.

"Wow," stated Eri. "He must he very good. Gosh, Kagome! The fates smiled on the day of your birth! A handsome guy, a little older who is a successful doctor and he loves you! Just think, it doesn't matter if you fail any exams! You'll marry that man and then you'll be the wife of a doctor, have a lot of money, get handsome children, and everybody respects you!"

"Eri!"

"What?"

"Stop dreaming!"

"You're such a spoilsport, Ayumi."

"And you're a hopeless romantic! Kagome's only fifteen! Why should she think of marriage? Besides, she really ought to finish her education."

"Hmph." Eri glared at Ayumi. Then something seemed to occur to her and she turned to Kagome. "Hey, Kagome, is that the reason you're ill so very often? You see your doctor in hospital?"

"Eri!" Ayumi was shocked. "That's horrible!"

"No, it's not. It's sweet. He must be pretty busy and -"

Kagome hid her face in her hands and suppressed her laughter. Gods, these two reminded her of Inu Yasha and Shippo with their endless squabbling!

"Kagome?" At the sound of Yuka's voice Kagome looked up. The other girl was regarding her seriously.

"Yes, Yuka?"

"Do you feel "¦ okay with your relationship? I mean, you've known each other only for a few months and most of the time he was being nasty to you. But you already "¦ well, you know "¦ Isn't it a bit "¦ hurried?"

Kagome knit her brows. "Yeah, I suppose it would seem so"¦"

"He did not force you, did he?"

"Huh? What? Gods, no, Yuka! Sure, I was a bit "¦ surprised, but "¦ I could have said no."

"And he wouldn't have been angry then?"

"No, no. In fact, in that respect he's a real dear. He "¦ he totally respects my decisions."

Yuka sighed. "It sounds too good to be true."

Kagome nodded. "Yeah, but it's not all peaches and cream. You know, he and his brother don't get along very well. And it's always me between them. I can understand both parts, but if I take one side the other gets angry and "¦" She shrugged.

"That does sound unpleasant," agreed Yuka.

"What does?" asked Ayumi, who had finished her discussion with Eri.

"Kagome's boyfriend and his brother don't get along with each other and when Kagome takes one side the other gets angry," recounted Yuka.

Ayumi and Eri expressed their sympathy and proceeded to take Inu Yasha's character apart. Kagome only listened and sighed. They did not understand fully. But then, how could they? She had not told them the whole truth. The truth that her "˜boyfriend' was a demon and that her boyfriend's brother was actually a half-brother and a half-demon and that there had never been any love lost between them.

Shortly afterwards they left the restaurant and said good-bye at the entrance. Yuka and Eri had to take another way home while Kagome and Ayumi shared one part of the way. The issue "˜boyfriend' was not touched again and they parted with cheerful waving.

The remaining way home Kagome spent thinking about the two stunning realisations she had had today. She loved Sesshomaru and she was married to him.

She still did not know what she should think about this. Should she be happy? Scared? Scandalised? Sesshomaru had not told her what the life-bond signified. He had not known that Inu Yasha had told her and that she had just forgotten about it. What would Sesshomaru have done if she had asked him? Would he have told her they were tied to each other for the rest of their lives?

She snorted at the thought. It did not matter much to him. After all, she would die far sooner than he would. Something cold surrounded her heart at the thought. She would die and he would find another woman "¦

Nothing in her whole life had ever prepared Kagome for the wild, almost uncontrollable jealousy that surged through her at the thought. No, he belonged to her and she would not allow him to ever feel for another what he felt for her!

Yet, what did he feel for her? He had said he wanted her. He had marked her as his mate and bound her to him for the rest of her life. Why had he done it? Because he loved her? But the thought of Sesshomaru loving her was so absurd "¦ so far-fetched "¦ that it might be true.

Again she felt sweet warmth engulfing her. She loved him, loved him so much "“ and he loved her. He had to! But why had he never told her? Well, she hadn't told him either. But then, she hadn't known. Did he not know it either?

Kagome stopped dead in her tracks.

Did he not know he loved her? Yes, that was possible. After all, she was human and he had, in all probability, told himself he would never love a human. But he wanted her and had asked her to be his mate.

Kagome smiled and walked on.

He did not know he loved her, she decided, but he did. The longer she thought about it the clearer it became to her. He had promised to protect her from Inu Yasha's wrath, he had kept their relationship secret, and he respected her decisions. Of course he loved her! She would tell him she loved him and then, maybe, one day he would tell her he loved her, too.

Kagome almost skipped the next steps before she froze once more. Her eyes widened and her heart beat painfully. Dear gods, but she didn't deserve him! He had been so sweet, asked her to be his mate and what had she done afterwards? Told him she did not want to leave Inu Yasha!

She cringed at the memory. It wasn't surprising that he had been that furious and had left her. She had hurt him deeply! But he had forgiven her! Without any explanation from her he had understood her motives and forgiven her!

Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt very small. He had forgiven her, accepted her decision to stay although he had every right to force her to go with him!

Kagome rubbed her eyes and started walking again.

Was this really the same Sesshomaru? How could the arrogant demon be so understandingly? Wasn't it the world upside down? She had been cruel and he had been the forgiving part! How he had changed! Or had he always been like this behind his mask? After all, he had this little human girl with him. And the girl trusted him completely. She would surely not do it without a reason, would she?

Kagome arrived at the stairs that led to the shrine and ascended them slowly.

Her world had truly been turned upside down today. No, not today. Only today she had realised it. It had started long ago, on the day when Sesshomaru had saved her from the demons. Her enemy had become her lover and she was compelled to lie to her friends.

Kagome sighed and crossed the court of the shrine to get to the house. She opened the door and entered, slipping out of her shoes.

"I'm home!" she called.

Her mother appeared in the kitchen door. "Hello, Kagome. How was you day in school?"

"Waste of time."

"That bad?"

Kagome nodded. "I didn't understand anything and I couldn't really concentrate. I'll have to work at home. What's for dinner?"

"Oden, my dear."

Kagome smiled wanly. "That's nice."

She trudged up the stairs into her room and sunk down on her chair. With a deep sigh she pulled her books out of her bag and settled down to try to at least remember what she had already learned. However, all she managed to do was think of Sesshomaru and the amazing revelations she had had.

How she missed him! The ten days without him felt like an eternity. Oh, and she longed to see him, to touch him! Longed to hear his voice and tell him that she loved him! But it was impossible. They were separated by five hundred years and "¦

Kagome paused and looked at her huge mirror. Hadn't Grandpa said it was a magical mirror? Of course, he's told many fairytales in his life, but maybe, just maybe there was a little truth in that one?

She got up and walked over to the mirror, regarding herself from top to toe in its smooth surface. Would it work? Would she be able to see him in this magical mirror? Yes, it sounded fantastic, but she had experienced a lot of things that others thought fantastic. Well, she could at least give it a try.

She stepped closer to the mirror and laid her hands onto the wooden frame.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered and her breath clouded the glass. "I want to see you."

Nothing happened. She tried again, wording it differently. She tried wishing it with all her will. Nothing happened. Only the mist her breath made on the glass came and went.

Kagome laughed scornfully. What had she thought? Of course it did not work! She looked up and met her eyes in the mirror. Then they trailed upwards and widened a little.

Her fringe had fallen aside, revealing the crescent moon on her brow. She must have wiped the powder away when she had rubbed her face earlier "¦

She looked wistfully at the pale lilac shape. It stood out remarkably against the golden hue of her skin. However, she'd much rather see a pale blue half-moon in a pale face "¦

Her right hand came up and covered the mark. The silver scar appeared to be warmer than usual.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered longingly. She looked into the mirror, into her own, deep blue orbs. Suddenly they seemed to blur and turn into golden eyes. Her own, brown face became the beautiful face of her mate. Kagome smiled.

"Sesshomaru," it was only a sigh. "I love you. I miss you so much."

The golden eyes glowed and Kagome felt a wave of love rise inside of her. It built higher and higher, and then it crashed down, engulfing her, filling her. She was surrounded by love, warm and sweet and eternal.

Her eyes filled with tears and she surrendered to the overwhelming feeling of love. She flowed with it, revelled in it. Then she felt tender hands take her and guide her through the flow towards "¦

She gasped and panicked for a moment. It was too great to come closer! It was raw, untamed power, fierce and dark and it would burn her! But then she recognised it. She knew it, it was familiar, it was "¦

And for a long, long time Kagome did not think anymore and simply felt.

When she returned to reality she was kneeling in front of the mirror, her hands pressed on her mark, and tears streaming freely down her face. She looked up into her eyes, deep blue once more. However, they now held a glow that had not been there before. A glow that spoke of a secret "“ the secret of love.

Kagome smiled through her tears, raised her hands to her lips and kissed her fingertips. Then she pressed them on her mark once more.

"Love you," she whispered again and rose to wash her face before dinner.