Too Much Time On Their Hands

Sesshoumaru had been strapped in the bars for what seemed like most of the night. His arms hurt and his body. Inuyasha caused him pleasure then took it away. Then reminded him of every single thing he had ever done to hurt him as well as others. Sesshoumaru wanted to ignore it. Naraku being brought up as the toy Inuyasha had inserted into him made him throw up one time finally and Inuyasha cleaned it up telling him that was not the damn name of the toy itself. Those words however stuck.

Inuyasha pulled the toy out only to change his mind only turning it off. That seemed to calm Sesshoumaru down a bit although he still showed him pleasure while causing such mental anguish that Sesshoumaru felt like he wanted to die, but at the same time wanted to live making up for every evil he had ever done. Sesshoumaru wanted to repent and make Inuyasha love him again no matter what it took.

Through the course of events Inuyasha had ripped out Sesshoumaru's heart more times than he could count only to heal it then let it bleed a little with the pain he had to face.

“Inuyasha what do you want from me? Why are you doing this? This isn’t like you. Do you hate me this much to humiliate me like this?”

Sesshoumaru stated brokenly. This was the worst turn of events that could happen to him. He had not ever been helpless in his life. Sure he had lost his arm and he had indeed almost been killed more times than he could count in battle. This was worse than any loss of limb. He had absolutely no power to stop Inuyasha from doing whatever the pup wanted to.

Inuyasha sighed feeling like shit. Getting up he undid the cock ring as his brother’s seed spilled onto the floor. It relieved the pain, but not the humiliation. Then Inuyasha pulled out the toy.

“No I am not trying to hurt you my love. I want you to know how I felt is all. How I feel sometimes and how I feel right now. I am pregnant, a man who is pregnant. You did that to me without my permission.'
"You killed me after promising me forever with you as your life mate and then you expected me to just accept it forgiving you. I stood by your side during the worst times of our lives. I fought with you trying to get you to be my brother just to understand me and you did not explain anything. You just do things sometimes without thinking about other people’s feelings Sesshoumaru and it fucking hurts.’
“I remember when that bastard Shishinki said your sword was no good and that our Father basically cast you away. I saw that hurt in your eyes even if you wanted to deny it. Father loves you and I did not allow you to see your sword as worthless. It was a gift from Father and you found out the great power it has. It took you long enough, but you still did that for me. You cast Tensaiga aside to give me that power of sending people to hell and you did not have to do that.’
“I have no idea why you came into hell to save me and you did do that too. You did good deeds saving me constantly and you said back then you hated me wanting to destroy me. You did not ever want that or I would be dead.'
"Then you give me the best night I have ever had in my life only to destroy me? I don’t understand that. I wanted forever with you and I wanted to be completely yours with no reservations. We could have gone to Kagome together and asked for her help. You did not want that and so I had to act.'
"I love you more than my life and if you want to kill me when I am done with this little torment of you then so be it. I am ripping out your pride just for this one time because you destroyed mine.’
“I was so proud to be a man not caring that I was in love with another man. I was in love and am in love with you. I am in love with Sesshoumaru my half brother and you fucking hurt me more now then you have ever done in your damn life.'
"You are trying to make me into something you want rather than accepting me. I thought we were beyond the all powerful demon Lord bullshit and that you loved me as a hanyou.’
“I need you to love me for me. If you wanted to change me you could have asked me how I felt about such things first. I don’t want to be a demon so right now I am wishing myself back into a hanyou.'
"I am also wishing for Kagome and her family to live. I did not like killing her to take this thing. I did it for you and for my sanity.'
"She tried to put new beads on me when I asked her for this. I asked her so I could make a wish for us and she tried to purify me since she was only thinking I wanted it to become a demon. Kagome didn't even listen to what I was trying to tell her and thought I was just reverting back to my old ways. We fought and I lost control. I did not want to hurt her and when I became the demon again I killed everyone.'
"They treated me like family and accepted me. I don’t deserve life, but I still want it. I hate myself for becoming the thing I did not wish to be.'
"All that was done before this night with us murdering people and you feasting on them is over now. I will make sure of that. They will live again since that wish has been made and so your feeding frenzy was pointless.'
"If you need to hunt we will find better prey together. We as brothers will find you worthy prey that deserves to die or animals that we can race after to kill. I will do that with you. I want to do things with you, but you can’t just go around doing shit like this. You can’t keep hurting people because in the end all you are doing is hurting yourself. I won’t even let you do that. I love you too much to let you.”

Sesshoumaru hung his head in shame and the tears came. He hurt so much inside and to hear Inuyasha tell him all of this. It was breaking him apart. It was worse than any whip or shackles. The emotions that filled him he could not run away from made him sob in agony. Inuyasha was already crying and Sesshoumaru could feel his pain like a knife through his heart as he laid limply in the contraption he was chained to.

“I promised Kagome before she died in my arms that I would not become a demon with the jewel since I wanted us to have children. I just thought as a demon I could do that, but I knew she wouldn't go for it so I tried to tell her that if she could make me someone who could bear children that would be enough and I would stay a hanyou.'
"I promised I would not turn into a demon and I would only do the one wish. I promised her and you made me break that promise. I wanted to just wish for us to be full mates and make me female if necessary so we could have kids. Either that or give us mates that can allow us to bear as many children as we wanted and let them continue our legacy. I didn't want them to be sterile like me. I wanted us to have our female mates and I asked her to be mine. Kagome wants to stay human. I understand that and so we cannot be together.’
“It did not matter what I wanted anyway Sesshoumaru. Kagome met someone else. She is marrying Hojo who is going to college with her to be a doctor. It is for the best and I should have been happy for her. Instead I was furious and jealous. I killed her over such selfish foolish things.’
“Kagome was happy for me. When I told her I was in love with you Sesshoumaru she was happy and even though it was not what she expected Kagome wanted us both to have love. Kagome wanted us to live a long life with all the love in the world we would ever need.’
“You know what? I feel like an asshole because I told her that you would have been happy about her answer and then she died. Then you go off on some damn killing spree. You really piss me off! You really fucked up this time! I am not just going to sit back to let you do this ever again to me or anyone else! I won’t even let you give up on yourself damn it all! I still am in love with you!’
“You gave up everything for me. I wanted to do the same for you. That is how much you mean to me. You don’t give me that chance. All I wanted for years from you is some answers to some questions that I asked you only to have you ignore me like I was unworthy of you time.'
"I can’t keep chasing you so if you run from me how am I supposed to react? How would you feel? If you walk away and never listen to what I ask of you or say to you then you will not ever know me really. I wanted you to really know me and I thought maybe you did. You still don’t and I don’t know you anymore. I thought we were beyond that shit now, but we still are back to square one.”

Inuyasha made his wish as he glowed with power. Then he was once again a hanyou. Kneeling in front of Sesshoumaru he took his beloved’s chin into his clawed fingers. Sesshoumaru looked with tear filled eyes at Inuyasha who was looking at him so brokenly.

“I can’t be a woman for you and I won’t be. I want my own children too Sesshoumaru. I want us to have a family as much as you do. I don’t want to be the only fucking demons left in this world. If you would try to trust me and have some faith in people then maybe we can work things out.'
"I am going to leave you for a while. Not forever my love. I am not going to leave for long. I need to finish some things and I am going to talk to Kagome. I am going to beg for her to forgive me. I owe her that and when I am done with my wishes that make up for all the shit I have done as well as all you have done I am going to give this damn thing back to her. Then she can make the wish that will make it go away forever.’
“If you want me you will have to accept me as I am. If you wish to still kill me then you will have that opportunity very soon here. I am going to go pack up now and I will be back tomorrow morning. I will unlock you from this thing after I am gone. It is a spell and as soon as I leave you will be free. I have that power although this thing will always have the power to keep our demon power in check.’
“I wanted to ask you more about our Father and about our Mothers. You knew them longer then I did. I loved reading those things you printed for me since they touched my heart. You in your actions before you went insane on me touched me someplace deeper than anyone has ever tried to do in their life and I can’t forget that.’
“I am still to die by your hand though. You told me that you would pick the place and time. I see that you kept your word and you are always good for keeping your word. So if you need to finish things when I get back then I won’t stop you.’
“Someday Sesshoumaru you will find your mate, your female mate. When you do you won’t be alone any more. I will be happy for you, but I wanted to also share that with you. I do not wish to leave your side.'
"Before this jewel ever came into being if there were no wishes I could make I still would have been happy just to be your brother. I would have loved that even if we did not have these special times over the years together. I love being your brother and whatever you decide know I forgive you. No matter what I forgive you and love you.”

With tears pouring down his cheeks Inuyasha grasps Sesshoumaru’s face kissing the moon on his forehead as he rushes to pack his things.

“Inuyasha………please don’t do this on your own…… Don’t leave me here to think about these things…….I……..I am sorry…….I am so sorry……….'
"I want to fix things…….I don’t know what to do to help, but I want to try……. I did not mean to hurt you like I did……… I am begging you please don’t go without me……… My pride is gone and I am nothing right now…you have destroyed me…….. I don’t deserve you……still I want you Inuyasha. I will let you beat me and whip me…… Just don’t leave me…….don’t leave…….I don’t want to be alone anymore…….”

Sesshoumaru sobbed out softly. He felt broken and lost. It was not anything he had known before and Sesshoumaru was confused. So damn confused and so fucking lonely. He had been alone so long and now he realized why he was this way. Inuyasha just put everything out there on the table.

This punishment had been damn hard and he knew deep down he deserved it. Still he had not ever thought Inuyasha would be the one to do this to him and to open him up to help him like this was exactly what he had needed. Sesshoumaru would not have ever asked Inuyasha to do this to him and would have indeed fought it. He would have killed anyone else for this shit.

Sesshoumaru had not ever begged for anything in his life. Not once had he done this and right at this moment he was broken completely. There was nothing left of his spirit. All the things he once had been was now gone and Inuyasha could crush him. All he had to do was leave and he would destroy Sesshoumaru.

In the end though it was this pain that he needed to release and Inuyasha in some ways had set him free. Perhaps it would not be so bad to take turns since Sesshoumaru had control for years. It would be ok once in a while to be free of it and not be able to fight back with someone he loved as well as trusted. Sesshoumaru could do this with Inuyasha since he trusted him. He only hoped Inuyasha would come to trust him again after all of this and if it meant he had to be the one to suffer for a while he would do it.

Inuyasha stopped as he reached for the handle of the door trying to wipe away his tears. He was tired and it had been a really fucking bad day. This had been worse than when Kikyo pinned him to the tree and that was fucking horrible.

Sesshoumaru had hurt him even beyond what he thought was possible for his brother to do. Still that voice hurt him so much and Inuyasha at this point did not care if Sesshoumaru did kill him. He could not leave him like this. Inuyasha knew that his begging had been the final breaking point for Sesshoumaru. No demon as powerful as Sesshoumaru ever begged for anything. He had destroyed the man he loved and hoped he could rebuild him again. Inuyasha loved Sesshoumaru too much and if he wanted his life then it was Sesshoumaru’s to take. It had always been his.

“Ok. I will set you free then. Hush brother……hush my love I won’t leave you I promise.”

Inuyasha said softly in a broken voice that Sesshoumaru felt his heart wrench at hearing. He really fucking hurt his beloved and he had to do something to make up for this. Inuyasha came over to the bars pulling the levers so that Sesshoumaru was once again standing upright. Pushing the cushioned bar down Inuyasha unhooked the cuffs on Sesshoumaru’s ankles seeing the blood there from his brother fighting to free himself. It would not heal yet since it had been a powerful spell that he put on this contraption as well as the cuffs. It would render even the most powerful demon into a state that was almost human. The cuffs would possibly cause damage, he knew this, but the bruises made Inuyasha feel like shit since that had to hurt.

Inuyasha undid the wrist cuffs with the same result on his wrists and Sesshoumaru fell into his arms unable to stand. He lost too much blood and his ankles were slowly healing. Sesshoumaru was also emotionally drained and shaking as though he were freezing.

“I did not want this…I did not mean to be so rough with you…I was so angry I wasn’t thinking.…. Sesshoumaru I love you……I am sorry.”

Inuyasha stated in tears as Sesshoumaru shook his head no to Inuyasha cuddling into his body for warmth.

“I am glad you did it Inuyasha. Don’t apologize. Just hold me please and love me again. You will not ever leave me. You promised so I won’t be alone and you still love me. I will be ok now.”

Inuyasha pulled a throw blanket from the couch wrapping it over Sesshoumaru and himself as he held his beloved in his arms running his fingers over Sesshoumaru’s long hair.

“I will always love you Sesshoumaru. I will love you always and forever. I will not ever leave you as promised.”

Inuyasha kissed Sesshoumaru’s face softly as the two rested on the couch. Sesshoumaru was so damn tired. He was worn out and for the first time he fell asleep. Demons did not normally sleep, but somehow with these new found emotions he was able to do such a thing and in fact started to dream. Inuyasha smiled at Sesshoumaru who was smiling in his sleep. He was so beautiful and he was dreaming about racing through the forests with his brother laughing and playing like kids with their own children. Inuyasha really wanted that for them both.