Instinct

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Instinct: Domestic Affairs
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Kouga was nesting.

Alright, so maybe wolves didn’t nest, but he felt like it as he peered cautiously out of the burrow entrance. The clearing was spread before him, full of afternoon sunlight and mild warmth. There were bright flowers, pollen hanging golden in the air over the gently-rippling tall grass, and it was a picture-perfect scene. All it lacked was a bird perched somewhere and the tiny, small-animal background noises he was accustomed to in a forest. The wolf sucked in a lungful of air and pulled himself partially out of the hole to look around, propping himself up on his arms. *Well, there’s the bird. From the splattering, he must have hit the stupid thing in mid-flight. What was that? Heck, I can’t even recognize the fur with the guts ripped out like that. Was it a…no, it’s too big for a tree animal. Badger, maybe? Ugh.* He shook his head and slid the rest of the way out of the den. *At least he’s not leaving them right outside anymore.*

It was a small thing to be grateful for, or it would have been if Kouga hadn’t spent the first day in the meadow with intestines squished in between his toes every time he tried to step out of the den. Inuyasha’s bloodlust was foiled as far as he was concerned, but the local wildlife was not as protected. Nothing, no matter how small, escaped the murderous demon. Kouga had spent the entire morning today in astonishment, watching the white dog hunt and shred field mice into gory scraps. That would have been amazing enough, but then the pale demon had presented him, one by one, with the mangled handfuls of mice flesh. Inuyasha seemed to feel it was his duty to stuff Kouga with fresh meat, which would have been fine—mice were fun to chase but usually only a treat for wolves--if it wasn’t more than a little disturbing. The sadistic glee that lit the dog’s face over killing a mouse…

He had been very, very careful to behave.

Two days into the halfdemon’s rut, and he counted himself lucky to still be alive. Pained, cranky, and restless, yes, but alive. And naked. A large amount of tanned skin was exposed to the sky as the wolf demon glanced around in a quick check for Inuyasha, but clothing was really just a social nicety. While being nude made him feel vulnerable, he knew that was just because he was used to having furs on around strangers. Around his home caves during the height of the summer heat, many of the demons dispensed with everything but what nature had given them, and their nondemon brethren watched them with envy. Since Inuyasha apparently didn’t care to cover himself, Kouga had followed his lead. After scrubbing his fur kilt and leggings clean in the nearest stream, he’d left them in the den. Now he limped naked into the meadow, confident that the white dog was elsewhere looking for something new to kill.

Dried blood and semen crusted the inside of his thighs, flaking off as he moved. He’d wanted to wash himself in the stream like he had his furs, but he didn’t quite dare. The white dog’s focused killing spree could easily shift to him if he lost the scent of Inuyasha’s claim on his skin. While reeking, itchy crusts were disgusting, they also protected him. Besides, as soon as he’d wash them off, he’d find the dog behind him, ready to mount and add new stains. He’d never really paid attention to the rutting males of his pack before; as long as their mates kept them under control, it hadn’t been his business. Now he wished he knew if Inuyasha’s stamina was the norm or if he should be noting down the mutt’s endurance for posterity.

The first morning, a demanding bark had summoned him unwillingly out of the den to meet the early rays of the sun from under the dog, and not an hour later, he’d painfully crawled out again for yet more sex. Both times, he’d been too sore and limp with exhaustion to do more than sway on his hands and knees as Inuyasha grunted his way to orgasm, and then he’d returned to sleep curled up in the dirt underground. Each time, his body had patched the tears in his rear together, only to have them break open around the dog’s cock. It infuriated him, but what could he do? A feeble growl early on had earned a cuff that sent him tumbling, and he’d been too weary to try fighting back. It was quicker to just submit and get it over with. The best he could hope for was that the impossible pleasure Inuyasha seemed to inadvertently cause wouldn’t happen again, and for a while his wish was granted. The dog had used him three more times before noon, and not once had the wolf felt anything but discomfort. The snatched peace of naps in between made him wake up again and again to the reality of humiliation and surrender, and he preferred the nightmare of stabbing pain to anything that deepened his shame. He still didn’t want to think about the part of him disappointed that the rough thrusts only hurt. That was the same part of him that wanted to fawn before Inuyasha as his alpha, and he’d found to his scarlet-faced embarrassment that his tail was of like mind and harder to hide. It signaled moods he’d rather the dog not see.

It had become even more difficult to control since yesterday afternoon. Whether it was because Inuyasha finally remembered to spit on his cock, or because Kouga was rested, or maybe because he’d stayed awake after the last time and reaccepted all the reasons he’d submitted…whatever the cause, Kouga certainly felt the effect. He’d yelped and squirmed under the dog as the first spikes of pleasure shot through him, but Inuyasha’s fangs on his neck had kept him in place. To the white demon, the important thing was that Kouga’s scent didn’t indicate massive injury or anything alarming of that nature. It was his duty to protect the wolf from harm. Arousal was almost to be expected, however, and it was certainly nicer to smell than sharp anger or the sour scent of pain; once he’d made the connection between how he moved in the wolf and the change in scent, Inuyasha deliberately sought to make his partner enjoy their coupling. The demon in him didn’t much care what the wolf thought and a faint voice in the back of his head was very uneasy about it, but the rut was what decided the issue.

All Kouga knew was that suddenly his stamina was being pushed to the limits. He’d always been a healthy male, and the desire he’d felt for Kagome had brought those urges to the forefront of his mind far too often lately. But that was nothing compared to shuddering under Inuyasha’s ruthless assault, clawing at the dirt for what felt like an eternity to keep from using his hands as the dog pounded squarely into the soft spot inside him. He’d spent the latter part of the previous day and night woozy with exhaustion as he got away from the dog as quickly as possible after each time to finish himself off, collapsing out of sight because his knees wouldn’t stay locked and his cock throbbed insistent need straight through his brain. His last climax that night had actually caused him to black out, coming to with spangles of light bursting behind his eyes. After that he’d retreated into the den and yelled at the dog to go away when Inuyasha had tried to rouse him for another go somewhere around 3 AM. Although he’d been too fogged by sleep to note it at the time, he’d been puzzled later that the white demon hadn’t pressed the matter. Apparently the dog would allow him some respite.

Sleep hadn’t been a refuge of amnesia that night. He’d woken today knowing exactly why he was sleeping naked in a hole in the ground and why there was a harsh call of his name from outside. It had been a bitter knowledge to swallow, but the way his tail lifted happily and the beast in him wanted to curl up with the dog caused him no end of embarrassment. Wolves were naturally social animals, and it made him jumpy to sleep alone. That did not mean he wanted to sleep with the mutt! His battered pride had made him grumble as he crawled out of the den into the dawn, but Inuyasha had successfully driven every thought out of his mind after that. It had gotten to the point where Kouga’s hand chafed his shaft, he’d jerked off so often, but the worst part was that he couldn’t seem to stop. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to…well, when he wasn’t under the mutt, anyway. Then he wanted release so badly he didn’t even feel the pain of sex until afterward.

But afterward always happened. He couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.

So he’d taken to lurking in his den. Most of the pain came from unhealed tears in his anus, and the best thing he could do to help that was rest. Plus, it kept him out of sight of the halfdemon, whose systematic butchery of anything living creeped him out. Wolves killed to eat and live; this was sickening. He felt safer hidden from sight, even knowing that the thin shell of roots and dirt wouldn’t stand up to an attack. The semi-dark of the den encouraged him to doze, allowing his body to heal all the more quickly. The wounds on his side and shoulder were faint marks on his skin already, but the splitting in his rear worried him. Besides being painful, they also had little time to heal. The scabs formed quickly, but then Inuyasha was there, forcing them open with his thick cock, and Kouga lay in the dimness of his den bleeding.

Well, there was no reason he had to spend the rest of Inuyasha’s rut sleeping on dirt. Thus, Kouga’s nest. Whatever Inuyasha was off killing this afternoon had kept him away for a few hours, now, and the wolf had become bored. He could only plot revenge for so long before he became restless. He was, after all, used to running all over the countryside trying to find Naraku, and being stuck in the meadow without the dog demon to glare evilly at gave him nothing to do. With all the fresh meat he could eat bloating under the sun, he hardly needed to hunt…not that there was anything worth hunting left alive anywhere near here, but it would have given him something to do. His armor he’d left with Hakkaku to be repaired, and he’d given up fighting the snarls out of his hair earlier. He’d wanted a bath to get the worst of the dirt off him but had decided not to risk it. That had given him the idea of lining the den with something to keep him off the ground, however, and he’d ventured from the den to investigate Inuyasha’s kills, hoping to salvage a couple furs. Unfortunately, the white demon had shredded most of the carcasses past use, and the pelts were worthless.

But there were other things he could use, and now he found an unbloodied part of the clearing and bent to saw at the grass with his sword. The sword handle’s fabric covering bore marks where it had been torn from his hand, but other than that it bore no marks of its abuse. He’d retrieved it and stowed it in the den up until now, when he’d found a use for it he doubted its maker had ever thought of. *I feel like a human farmer.* Muttering under his breath grumpily, he worked slowly and avoided certain movements that aggravated the constant ache below his waist. When he had a sizeable bundle of the tall grass, he gathered it into his arms and started back toward the den. *Or maybe a bird. Chirp, chirp.*

A faint noise not caused by his armload made him turn sharply and freeze, eyes scanning the trees and nose lifted to the breeze. His tail swished nervously in the grass before stilling against his leg. Nothing remained alive in the meadow or surrounding forest except the lone demon, and he stood like a statue of bronze and onyx, waiting.

At last a scent came to him, a musk heavier than even the claim smeared on his body, but that was to be expected. It was fresh from the source, after all. The brown-black tail waved, and it took a moment of concentration to stop it. Kouga sighed and turned to limp onward to the fresh mound of dirt that was the only indication there was a den beside the fallen tree. The second his attention was elsewhere, his tail began swaying again. *He’s back, huh? Damn. I was almost finished. Another couple of armloads, and the place could be almost comfortable.* Not to mention that the ache in his backside was dulling toward tolerable.

He had to go to his knees to enter the tunnel, awkwardly holding the bundle of grass to his chest as he edged down the few feet to the hollow of the actual den. It was roomier than the outside looked because the root system of the fallen tree had delved deep. In falling, it had torn a large hole in the ground that allowed him to stand upright on his knees but made him stoop over if he stood. Kouga chose to stand and bent over to spread his armload around. Fresh grass rustled around him, piled almost to his knees. By nightfall, he knew, the fresh grass would have dried out somewhat and subsided downward into a crackling cushion for sleeping. It wasn’t his bed of furs; it would poke and itch, but it was better than sleeping in the dirt. *And if I bleed on it, I can toss it out and get more.* His sensitive nose could still pick up the stench of blood and seed on the soil below the grass, but it was muted by the fresh-cut greenery. It still made his stomach flip-flop, and the urge to cringe with disgust fluttered up his spine. *Not much I can do for the air in here, but since it’s me who smells like that, it wouldn’t do much good to try, anyway.*

The daylight from the entrance suddenly cut off. Without looking away from his nest, Kouga growled. An answering growl came from partway down the tunnel, and the wolf whirled into a defensive crouch—and flinched as the violent movement cracked open scabs and dripped new blood into the grass. The crimson eyes glaring at him noted the flinch and blood, and aqua pupils flared wide with interest. So, his wolf still hurt, did he?

“Out, mutt!” Kouga shouted from so low in his throat it was practically a bark.

Inuyasha sneered and dug up words from the quagmire of his mind. “I want—“

“I know what you want, dogcrap.” Blue eyes pointedly stared at his erection, then rolled to the ceiling in an appeal to the gods. *Give me patience, ‘cause he wants the same damn thing he’s wanted for the last two days. How long is this fuckin’ thing gonna last?!* The wolf sniffed and grimaced; the dog’s rut-scent filled the den with thick, oily stench. “Great, now I’ll be smelling you for the rest of the day. Get outta my way, then.” The low ceiling forced him to half-walk, half-crawl toward the exit, scowling but not objecting to the dog’s command. Inuyasha didn’t budge, and Kouga bared his fangs. The den was his territory; if the dog had insisted on coming into the den the first night, the invisible line wouldn’t have been drawn, but the white demon had allowed him his boundaries. The wolf’s pride was broken, not dead. “Out,” Kouga ordered.

One white brow rose, and the crimson eyes narrowed slightly. Kouga’s tail dropped from its aggressive angle to a more submissive low, although the snarl stayed. “Shut it, idiot,” the dog snapped back at him, lips drawing back to show fangs almost twice as long as the darker demon’s, “and c’mere.” Blue and red met for a brief second, but Kouga looked away, lips sliding back over his teeth. A beckoning gesture brought the bristling wolf closer, well-aware of the extremely long claws tipping the pale hand making the gesture. “Closer.” The claws were eyed warily; Kouga stayed put.

Demon blood surged and roared, making the rut fight down a surge of irrational rage that drenched the enclosed space with nose-stinging metallic spice, and a full-throated snarl shook dirt from roots. The impact of his concentrated anger made the wolf demon’s tail tuck and his spine wilt. His head sank downward as he slunk forward sullenly. The anger ebbed, but the pale demon’s eyes glowed an intense color as rut and bloodlust balanced again. One hand struck out and seized snarled hair, something that might have been a word struggling harshly out of the dog’s mouth. Whatever it was he’d tried to say, it was lost in the deep snarl.

Sometimes words were unnecessary, though. Kouga didn’t fight the grip on his hair, merely raising his chin to expose his throat in quiet surrender as he was hauled face-to-face with the alpha male. The wolf’s stoic submission would have been more convincing if his eyes hadn’t blazed with hatred fiery enough to burn, however, and Inuyasha studied that fire through narrowed eyes. The rut didn’t understand why the anger was there, but it understood the ways of the pack; the wolf had submitted but grudgingly, and that kind of submission would not last. The demon didn’t care about pack ways, but it knew quite a lot about anger; it would lash out eventually unless it was settled, one way or another. The ‘another’ part attracted the halfdemon’s interest and flexed his claws against the wolf’s scalp hard enough to raise welts, but the rut had drawn the bloodlust into itself. Crimson eyes saw the kneeling wolf demon through a haze of lust…and Inuyasha had begun to think accordingly.

He let go of Kouga’s hair abruptly, ignoring the flashed throat entirely to show he was aware it was only being exposed to pacify him. Instead, he leaned forward to sniff at the healed scrapes on a tanned shoulder. Kouga stiffened, eyes averted but challenge humming in the tense line where neck met collar bone. Inuyasha tilted his head, considering the muscled line, and purposefully set his fangs, ever so slowly, into it.

A pained hiss broke from the wolf as Kouga’s hands clenched into shaking fists. “Cur…” The hands opened, made as if to push against the pale chest nearly touching his, but a rumbling growl vibrated straight into his bones and caused him to hesitate. Inuyasha’s head lifted a fraction, and the pain forced Kouga to awkwardly lift off his heels in an uncomfortable position that wasn’t quite sitting. The dog held him there, growling lowly. After a moment’s reflection, the wolf’s hands unfroze and settled gently against pale skin--asking, not demanding. “Let go. I’ll come out,” he said, painstakingly neutral.

Inuyasha’s ears laid back. His mouth was full of sweet, tangy blood, but it soured on his tongue at the metallic scent that accompanied it; the wolf resented submitting to him. The rut, confused because pack tactics and physical seduction had failed, turned to the demon’s solution. Fine. If Kouga wanted to only be a hole, used and discarded, then the transformed halfdemon could oblige him.

The white dog managed to somehow convey distrust and contempt through releasing his bite, and he spat a mouthful of blood and saliva into the grass before turning to leave the den with flattened ears. The short flood of blood that pulsed out of the fangmarks went unnoticed because Kouga was busy gaping at the back turned to him. The sudden about-face in attitude startled and puzzled him; a second ago he’d been the center of the rutting demon’s world, and now he was being ignored? He absentmindedly wiped the blood off his chest as he followed the white dog up into sunlight. *What the hell?*

Things only got worse from there. Before his eyes could adjust to the change in light coming from the dark den, Kouga found himself pinned facedown in the dirt, a knee already wedged between his thighs and a hand on the back of his neck holding him down and helpless. There was no time for the wolf to accept what was about to happen, and less chance for surrender. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as Inuyasha clearly wasn’t in any mood to accept submission if it was offered. “Heeeyyaugh!” With no pretense of pleasure or mating, the dog rammed in, and for the first time, Kouga screamed. Inuyasha’s cock sank into the tiny hole in the wolf’s futilely clenched ass, cracking wide splits all around it that bled freely and slicked Kouga’s inner passage. The brief cry was more from surprise than real pain; although it hurt, it was only shock that had made the first few thrusts so painful. His initial reaction was to struggle, but the hand on his neck set claws against his skin that stilled him. This time, there was no pleasure.

Above him, Inuyasha’s face was set in a determined, bleak expression as his body humped. Oh, the pressure of climax was building, but this was only sex. This was the same expression he’d worn during previous ruts, when the only things around to relieve the rut with were…well, he’d been revolted by what he had to do at the time, even as he’d done it. At least his dog heritage had allowed him more than a second’s desperate pleasure when it fastened onto the wolf as an acceptable partner, but now that had changed. The wolf demon’s bitterness and constant rebellion were forcing Inuyasha back into his previous mindset, supported by his uncaring demon blood. The rut had driven the indifferent demon to try something as well, but it didn’t matter to him if it didn’t work.

A last, hard push shoved Kouga into the ground and the air from his lungs, and while he gasped for breath, Inuyasha grunted with momentary bliss before it passed and he pulled himself from the wolf’s body. Without a glance back, the halfdemon got to his feet and walked out into the clearing. Left stunned and bewildered, Kouga could only stare after him. “Stay outta my way,” the white dog said over his shoulder as he bounded off into the tall grass. “I’ll be back when I need to use you again.”

He had to flinch at the blunt words. *It sounds as bad as it is when he puts it like that. What the fuck was that all about? First he makes me submit, then he doesn’t let me submit. I don’t know what the hell he wants from me, but apparently he ain’t gettin’ it.* Sitting up caused another flinch, and Kouga gingerly reached around to prod tentatively under his tail. Blood met his fingers, and he sniffed it cautiously; from the amount of pain he was suffering, he’d assumed he was torn up worse than he was. *Looks like just more of the same. At least I didn’t respond to it. There’d have to be something wrong with me if I did!* He shook his head and wiped his hand on the ground. The idea of becoming aroused by what had just happened was barbaric, but he couldn’t deny that he would have preferred Inuyasha’s usual method of claiming him. This was just…brutal. *Why did he do it? He could be going crazy, but he would have turned on me yesterday if it was going to happen. Um…I suppose he could be mad at me…it seems kind of dumb for him to lose his temper over nothing, though. I didn’t do anything new.*

He returned to the den, waddling with a ridiculous spread-knee gait down the short tunnel to avoid jostling his renewed injuries. The grass wasn’t as thickly-laid as he’d wished, but he didn’t exactly feel like going out and cutting more right then. Instead, he burrowed in among the drying greenery and curled up. Wincing, he straightened out a moment later, letting his legs open as he lay on his belly. Grass stems poked tender areas, and he wished for a fur to lay on. He stared at the roots of the far wall, trying to think. *Heck if I know what’s going on, but he’ll probably be back to normal soon.*

By nightfall, Kouga knew he was wrong. The dog had come back to the clearing twice, and both times he’d taken the wolf like he meant to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. Kouga hadn’t been given time to submit; the dog had knocked him down where he’d found him, once coming out of the den and once at the streamside. It was fast and somehow callous, and, feeling somewhat abandoned, Kouga had been left watching him stride from the meadow after the sex. The wolf had trouble understanding his own reaction to the change. Instead of feeling relief that the unpleasant business had changed to virtual no involvement beyond the required physical act, he felt…lost. His tail seemed permanently lowered, and once Kouga made himself think about it, he figured out that it was his wolf instincts that were so depressed. His mind was confused, but his body was miserable.

*This is just weird.* Limp-crawling back into the dark safety of the den, Kouga sprawled in the grass and propped his chin on folded arms. *I went from pack to outsider, and I don’t know why the heck it happened. Or why it matters at all.* That was the real problem: why did it matter to him that the dog had outcast him? He should have been glad that he’d been rejected. He didn’t want to be part of the dog’s pack. Okay, so technically by defeating Kouga, Inuyasha’s pack included the wolves, but that was only a problem in his head; realistically, the mutt had never made a move to indicate he led the wolf pack. But according to Kouga’s instincts, Inuyasha’s refusal to accept him was the same as if the pack had turned their backs to him. The only reason the mutt kept coming back was to stop himself from going to Kagome, and even then Kouga was starting to worry. The dog ranged further and further abroad, looking to satisfy his bloodlust, and if he grew more attracted to the faint scent of the girl over his claimed mate for the rut…

Kouga closed his eyes. For something so simple to reason out, it took a tremendous amount of effort to beat down his pride enough to look at it right. *I don’t like any of it, but…I like being used like this even less. At least before I was a pack member, even if I wasn’t alpha. Now I’m just…just here, like the human villages on the pack’s territory. I tolerate them, but they’re there to be used, and once we’re done with them, we get rid of ‘em. A step up from vermin, ‘cause every once and while they do produce something useful.* Comparing himself to a human infestation wasn’t the nicest metaphor, but it captured the dog’s attitude quite well. Too well; something in the comparison struck a cord in him. He sighed and shifted in the grass, determined to follow the train of thought to its end despite its indignities. *Ugh. Why am I like a human village?*

He let his mind drift through the times he’d entered the villages, or rather, made the village leaders come to meet him outside their homes. The smell of the human dwellings was disgusting, and he preferred to be comfortable when dealing with the scum. They’d come before him, bearing trade goods and gifts, cringing and scraping because he’d long ago killed off the ones that showed defiance. He was their lord and master, ruler of the pack that claimed the area, and they knew they were disposable. Yet in their eyes…in their eyes he had seen their true thoughts of hatred and rebellion. Their bodies spoke of fear, not respect. If the peasants ever got their hands on real weaponry, he had no doubt that they would attack him--and die, of course, but he always destroyed the troublesome villages before it got that far. It roused such disgust in the demon pack that the humans never had the intelligence to submit to a stronger opponent and accept the place in the hierarchy assigned to them. The ungrateful peasants never seemed to realize that by letting them live and settle their land, the pack had tactically permitted them status over the rest of the human worms. But the villages stayed to themselves, only acknowledging the wolves when they had to and grudgingly at that.

Once he’d spelled it out, it was pathetically easy to see. *Oh.*

*When he tried to come in here, he must have been testing me or something. And I failed. Shit, I didn’t think he’d care that I’m staying in here as long as I submit, but it’s not working.* He hadn’t thought Inuyasha would see or care that he’d used the den to cut all contact between them to an absolute minimum, reducing the amount of time he had to recognize his rival as his leader. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he resented being displaced as alpha. He practically told the mutt that every time he opened his mouth, and his body language must shout it. *Why the hell does it matter whether he counts me as pack? I have no reason to care. As long as he keeps taking me instead of Kagome, what do I care how it happens?*

For the same reason he was attempting to court Kagome via her species strange customs. He just didn’t want to think about it that way. It was the proper way of things to have a willing mate, or in this case, at least one not full of stubborn hate. It was stubbornness, really. The situation was unusual already by who was involved, but Kouga’s instincts had the right of it. The bestial side of him knew how to handle everything, and he just didn’t want to listen. Except for his pride, there was no reason to hate the white demon. He’d been defeated, but when facing a stronger opponent, that was no cause for humiliation. Had it been one of the demons of his pack, he would have challenged that defeat only if the pack was being misled. Instead, he was constantly chafing at Inuyasha’s control. It was stupidity in the face of a strong alpha. Maybe if the dog transformed back to his halfblood form, was weaker…but in the meantime, Kouga took a good look at himself and felt an unexpected surge of shame.

*Yeah, I don’t like him. So what? Right now this isn’t about Kagome, or even my pack. This is about us. I don’t want him as a mate, and he isn’t my mate, so why the crap am I getting so riled about it? He doesn’t want me, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want the pack. Great. The rut won’t last forever, and we can go our separate ways and start fighting over Kagome again. For now, it’s about the rut. I wouldn’t have pushed at Father like this--* His face split in a smirk that made him look like the mischievous child he had been, though he didn’t know it. *Heh. Alright, so Father and I wouldn’t have ever been in this position, but hell, he’s the only other alpha I’ve ever had. Oi, Mother would have pitched a fit.* He snickered, hiding his face in his arms as if she could see him now. The mental image of his father trying to explain something like that to his mother, shrinking back as she puffed and snarled, was probably the least painful way he’d thought of his parents since their deaths. *She’d chase him around and make him sleep outside, and the elders would complain that nobody respected the chieftain anymore, but back in their day bitches knew their place. As if Grandmother hadn’t done the exact same thing to Grandfather!*

It felt good to laugh, smothered giggles that broke the tension and made his rear end ache. Somehow, that just made it funnier as he imagined his mother’s expression as she cornered her mate and gave him the third degree over her pup’s pain. *And then she’d take me back into the lair and tell me I’d done the right thing, but she was still going to beat Father senseless…*

The levity slowly drained out of him as his mind wandered back to familiar memories: his mother holding him after his first boar hunt, telling him he was a good boy for having followed his father but next time tell her when her mate got a spontaneous idea to hunt like that so she could take a large stick to his head. His father running beside him, daring him to race faster and laughing approval as he sprinted ahead. His mother coldly standing beside her mate as he challenged his father for the first time and failing, and having to seek her forgiveness like he did his leader’s, anxiously whining because she wouldn’t look at him at first. His father yelling him back into the shelter of the lair as the adult demons took protective stances outside and the harpies screeched as they attacked. His mother doubling over too late, the belly wound gutting her and tearing apart the pup growing inside.

The memories always took him to the same place: his scream of denial as mother and unborn sister spilled on the ground, then the roar of hatred as his father died a moment later. But this time, there had been laughter, too. It had been years and years, and finally there was the memory of happiness in the sorrow.

Somber but lighter, Kouga lay in the dimness of his den and thought about the past, the present, and what he could do about the future. He didn’t really want the mutt any closer than they had to be, but wolves were social animals. Being by himself for two days induced a longing in him he hadn’t realized until now. There was no real reason to keep his distance beyond stubborn pride, and it was hard to hold onto that pride when its sources were slipping away as fast as logic exposed them as false. Kouga had led his pack long enough to be practical; he let the unnecessary pride go, even if he had to grit his teeth to do it.

But he still didn’t know what to do now. *He had to have been testing me this afternoon, but what could he have wanted? I’ve always come out to meet him before, so why did he choose then to come in here?* There wasn’t anything in the den to have drawn him besides the wolf, was there? He cast a searching look around the dark interior and only saw his sword and discarded furs. He snagged his kilt with a hand to tuck under his chin as a cushion. *There’s not much to recommend the place…dark, kind of damp, and it makes me sleepy just being in here away from the sun.* That was part of the reason he spent so much of his time in here, after all; sleep was a respite from being awake. Other than that, the den was probably the most defensible place in the clearing. Would Inuyasha want to come in here because of that?

Wait a second. *Where is he sleeping? He made the den, but then I claimed it. So where does he sleep?* It seemed kind of strange that the dog would try and come in here to sleep, but that could be it. Defensible, dark, and, well, Kouga was here. Dogs were social animals, too, and Inuyasha was running on instinct. And then Kouga refused him, so he spurned the entire area…* I can see where this is going.*

He tried to poke holes in the theory, but it stood up to his attempts. With a sigh, the wolf demon rolled over and headed for the exit. Since it was really the sole idea he had, he might as well go look for the mutt’s sleeping place. Demon energy, rut or not, the white dog had to sleep sometime, if only because Kouga had mostly been allowed to sleep through the night. If he could find the place the dog had chosen, he could plan from there. *It’ll give me a place to start, anyway, and I need to get out and do something. Laying around all day sounds fine when I’ve run to the mountains and back, but it’s not for me. Hell, I don’t even have the patience to sit still long enough to untangle my hair.* His hair still hung in a tangled mass down his back, held off his face by his headband. It annoyed him.

Poking his head out of the den entrance, he glanced around the clearing automatically. Realizing suddenly he was packless made him unaccountably nervous. It meant the alpha wasn’t protecting him anymore, even if Kouga knew he didn’t really need to be protected. Nothing moved except for clouds of flies buzzing around the carcasses, and he climbed out, his unruly hair foremost in his mind. *Maybe this time I’ll just cut the damn stuff ooof!*

A heavy weight dropped onto him from above. The wolf was slammed to the ground, oily musk closing in around him, and he stopped struggling the second he smelled it. “Not again…” Pale limbs and paler hair draped over him, and he went limp. The dog didn’t seem to notice that he wasn’t fighting, but Kouga’s motivation was to relax his muscles for the first thrust which--“Ow!”--didn’t quite hurt as much, then. He scowled into the dirt, however, as Inuyasha panted above him. *Ambushed again. This has gotta stop.* He’d become resigned to the fact that being mounted hurt, but this was just plain irritating. The utter contempt showed by knocking him down each time made his wolf side wretched, and the demon side was beginning to feel the same. It was easier to be irritated, but irritation was hard to hold onto when his instincts felt that the dog’s treatment was deserved.

It was over in minutes, and the white demon was halfway across the meadow before Kouga could sit up. He tried to call after him. “Inuyasha! Wait, I--augh, he’s gone.” Disgusted with life in general, he flopped back to the ground. *Dammit, if he’d just give me a chance, I might…* He hadn’t a clue what he might do, but it would have better than the dog ignoring him. He felt isolated, alone, and looked up at the rising moon with the wistful wish that he dared howl his frustrations to her like solitary wolves had throughout the ages. Too risky, though; his pack might hear and investigate.

He heaved to his feet. *I can’t fuckin’ win, can I? The Birds of Paradise, Kagura, Naraku, and now this. It’s like my life is a latrine for the gods. What the hell. Life’s a bitch, and then you’re one…*

That probably wasn’t how the saying went, but he didn’t give a shit. Inuyasha’s latest ambush had left fresh bloodstreaks trailing down his thighs, and Kouga winced as he took careful steps following his nose. The white dog’s scent was strongest in the direction he’d left in, obviously, but what he was looking for was an older scent. Old but potent, the result of sleeping in one place for hours. The wolf sniffed and found himself approaching the tree that Inuyasha’s sword remained jammed into. He turned away--of course the scent was strong there--but stopped. If he remembered correctly, the dog had left his clothing there as well. There was no reason he couldn’t line his ‘nest’ with the fire rat fur, since Inuyasha wasn’t using it. It would smell to high heaven like the mutt, but he was getting used to it. He didn’t smell much better, when it came down to that.

Shaking his head, he turned back around and limped to the ripped swatches of red material under the tree. There was a white undershirt, too, that he added to the bundle before heading back to the den. Once it was under his nose, however, he paused and sniffed again. *That’s not old enough to have been sitting out for a couple days. He hasn’t been wearing them, so…* A small grin slowly worked its way across his face. *That was easier than I thought it’d be.* Sometime during the past two nights, the mutt had spent some time on his clothes, probably sleeping. Kouga suffered a brief twinge of doubt, wondering if he should move them after all, but the more he thought about it the more it seemed like a good idea. *He wanted in the den. Since he’s not listening to anything I say anymore, this might make it clear he can come in.*

Kneeling to get into the entry of the den hurt, but once he’d gotten inside, the lack of dry, stiff stems poking into sensitive areas more than made up for that pain. Red and white cloth covered the grass, and Kouga eyed it critically. It would do. He crawled up into the night air, this time checking the trees and top of the den-mound before heading for one of the freshest animal corpses. Raw meat was a stable of his diet, but he briefly considered building a fire to cook a chunk of meat just for variety. It was simpler just to eat what was there, though, and he made a quick trip to the stream before retreating into the den again.

He stretched out inside with a sigh. He wriggled around, gathering fabric, fur, and grass into a comfortable indentation around him, and he spent some time trying to coax the snarls out of his hair. He didn’t have much success. Perhaps tomorrow he should look for a sharp twig to use instead of his fingers. As his body healed, he curled up into a ball, tail flipping across his thighs to tickle his nose. It wasn’t his fur nest at the home caves, but it was pretty nice. Blue eyes blinked repeatedly at the entrance, staying closed longer each time. Having a constant injury was taking more out of his body than he gave credit for, and he’d been awake since before dawn. His growing unease over not being part of a pack could only hold off sleep for so long.

One last blink, and Kouga dozed.

A couple hours later, the white demon prowled around the dark hole in the ground, crimson eyes glowing in the night. The scent he wanted went inside, but the wolf was in there, too. The claim on Kouga’s skin called to the rut, but Inuyasha had run hard and long today; the flicker of interest in his groin went out quickly. Sleep called more persuasively. He’d returned to this clearing to spend the night out of indifferent duty, protecting what was his without the loyalty of an alpha to a beta. Kouga was a convenience now, not a packmate.

Inconveniently, he’d apparently stolen Inuyasha’s sleeping spot. While the halfdemon could sleep fairly comfortably in a tree, the theft of his clothing irked him. His skin was still hypersensitive, and sleeping on fire rat fur had helped cushion it until an erection next woke him. He wanted his clothing back. When a demanding bark didn’t produce any results, the white dog dropped into a crouch before the den’s entrance and stared down the tunnel. He could see his clothes there at the end. The strength of the scent betrayed Kouga’s presence as well, and his lips peeled back from his fangs. “What’re you trying to pull, ya mangy hound?”

There was a surprised rustling, as if the wolf had just woken up, and his voice was husky with sleep. “Inuyasha?”

Some part of him felt suspicious that Kouga was using his name because it wasn’t normal, but it was better than the usual names he flung at him. He crawled into the passageway, expecting a challenge. “What the hell are you doing, taking my stuff?” The lack of light would have been a problem for humans, but demon eyes were superior to most. Besides, their noses helped them ‘see.’

Right now, Inuyasha saw a guarded look of wariness being directed at him from the far wall of the den. The expected open hostility was missing, and he hesitated in the tunnel as his mind turned that over in a search for a response. The wolf was curled up along the far wall, but as Inuyasha watched, Kouga uncurled and sat up. The dog sniffed reflexively and was baffled to have his nose tingle with the scent of uncertainty, not anger. Kouga’s body had shifted as well, speaking tired repentance in the language of lowered head and tentative motions toward him. The rut had claimed him; the demon had outcast him for fighting that claim. But if he stopped fighting…

It was Inuyasha’s choice, nevertheless. He tested the cushioned floor of the den with a hand, neither rejecting nor encouraging the wolf’s advances. “What’s this?”

Kouga opened his mouth, closed it again, then finally shrugged and blurted out, “You might as well sleep here.” He gazed at the white dog steadily, but couldn’t quite meet his eyes. It was an awkward, roundabout apology, and he felt stupid offering it, but it was the best he could do. He still had some pride, after all.

Inuyasha studied him, studied the ‘nest,’ and gracefully accepted. “Might as well.” He crawled out onto the crackling bedding and chose a spot next to the entrance, as far from the wolf as the den made possible. Sitting against the wall, he folded his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.

He understood the apology, yes, and accepted it, but he turned a distinctly cool shoulder to the wolf. By not rejecting the offer, he’d accepted him back into the pack, but that didn’t mean he’d forgiven him. It was too soon for that, and Kouga sensed it. Hadn’t he chastised Hakkaku in the same way? Of course, he’d actually earned this disapproval, and he listened to the white dog’s heartbeat slow with a feeling somewhere between triumph and dejection. It had worked, but not well enough for the wolf side of him.

*I can worry about it in the morning,* he decided, settling back down. The rustling of the grass caused one crimson eye to crack open and track his movements, but as soon as he’d found a good sleeping position, the halfdemon’s heartbeat slowed in sleep again. It felt…good to be watched so alertly. Once again Kouga was sheltered by the alpha male of the pack.

His tail thumped.

* * * * *
End Part 10
* * * * *

What, did you think it was going to be easy for them? I’m far too evil an author to leave the characters alone like that. Of course I have to torment them! Kouga’s so much fun to twist into an emotional pretzel, and Inuyasha’s demon response to the rut turned out to be different than I’d originally thought. Cold satisfaction evidently wasn’t what Kouga wanted either, hmm? Geez, it took an entire chapter just to make him realize that. I keep getting the feeling that I’m not in control of the plot anymore.

Remember, feedback keeps me interested in this story, and right now I need the encouragement and/or critique. This thing’s about 50 pages long, and for some reason that makes it harder to work on. I’m sure that it’s about as difficult to read.