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December 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey! You never came back to this one! I'd like to see more of this story!
schedule
September 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I can hardly wait to find out what you ave in store for us here! I hope that you can work through your writers block. As for the battle ideas, I have no ideas. I haven't written a battle scene before, so I unfortunately, can't help you there. I wish that I could help.
Update as soon as you can.
Update as soon as you can.
schedule
September 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey! Can't wait for the next chapter! This is a hell of a story. Later.
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August 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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August 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like this story.. Pretty good so far... I know who her stalker is LOL.... Hurry and update plz.. Email when you update if possible... marisennet@yahoo.com i hope its soon...
Take Care
Mari
Take Care
Mari
schedule
August 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Interesting idea, I like the cultural creativity you got going on here. Only down side is the spelling and grammar. I had a lot of trouble following the who's perspective you were writing from. You need a beta, someone else to read over it and correct it before you post it, cause it's almost impossible to follow without good imagination and insinct.
Keepu up the hard work.
Keepu up the hard work.
schedule
August 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You have a very good idea here, but the execution needs a great deal of work. Get yourself a beta reader and learn how to use spell check. With some touch-ups, this could become one of the better stories posted on this site. As it stands now, it is one of the lesser ones available.
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August 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good so far.. I like the way the story is going.. Cant wait for the next chapter... Hurry and update plz..
Mari
Mari
schedule
August 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
keep it up
schedule
August 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
it grat cant what to read more please up dite soon