schedule
August 21, 2016 at 12:00 AM
When ever you made this Inuyasha fanfiction, the year is now 2016, I want you to finish this fanfiction. Please:) ;)
schedule
December 26, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Please finish this story.
schedule
October 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Trying to see reviews...
schedule
November 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
hmmm.
hard for me to make a review - of this.
you have good chapter headings -
but you dont write enough in each chapter for the title to make sense
it also seems that you arent sure of your characterizations
all of your characters "waffle"
none of them are decisive.... enough
one or two characters can be weak - but certainly not all of them
however, i could be wrong
what did you want your story to say?
i dont mind if characters are OOC but
you need them to stay in character for your fic
even if they dont correspond to anyone else's perception of them
for as long as they remain true within the fic
they all seem to experiment without sense and purpose
makes them look weak and purposeless
if the scenes were more explosive i'd call this xxx - or porn
but they arent explicit enough....
so that wasnt your purpose
(i mean i've read fics that were shamelessly PWP and i dont mind those
they were labelled - as so)
- so what was the purpose
you have the makings of a good writer, but you need to define your characters better
i'm just sharing with you what i dont like
and i'm just one among many
what kind of characters did you want them to be?
they seem to be jumping in different beds without much discretion
and all of them?
of course you could have an explanation why they're doing this ...
but you have to make this believable too....
good luck!
hard for me to make a review - of this.
you have good chapter headings -
but you dont write enough in each chapter for the title to make sense
it also seems that you arent sure of your characterizations
all of your characters "waffle"
none of them are decisive.... enough
one or two characters can be weak - but certainly not all of them
however, i could be wrong
what did you want your story to say?
i dont mind if characters are OOC but
you need them to stay in character for your fic
even if they dont correspond to anyone else's perception of them
for as long as they remain true within the fic
they all seem to experiment without sense and purpose
makes them look weak and purposeless
if the scenes were more explosive i'd call this xxx - or porn
but they arent explicit enough....
so that wasnt your purpose
(i mean i've read fics that were shamelessly PWP and i dont mind those
they were labelled - as so)
- so what was the purpose
you have the makings of a good writer, but you need to define your characters better
i'm just sharing with you what i dont like
and i'm just one among many
what kind of characters did you want them to be?
they seem to be jumping in different beds without much discretion
and all of them?
of course you could have an explanation why they're doing this ...
but you have to make this believable too....
good luck!
schedule
November 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i have to agree with others. this story is a mess.
schedule
July 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I can't see my reviews, so I'm trying to see if this will work.
schedule
January 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't get how you guys find it confusing...Inuyasha and Kagome are having fights like they always do....Ok so I'm not perfect at saying where they are or what they're doing, but whatever.
schedule
November 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I agree with you all. I find it really confusing... o_o, i got to chapter 2 and gave up. I'm sure it is a nice story... but its just to confusing to read. I usually don't waste my time with them. I think some others would say the same.
schedule
October 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I don't mean to hurt your feelings....but i can't even read this....its a mess and i have no idea whats going on.
schedule
September 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hun, sometimes reviewin your story is okay, not to knock you for it, i do it myself, but hide it. Your story is decent, but confusing, you hop around too much. You make your charectors look like they just hop into the sack with anyone, a little more expance and experience should help you.