schedule
June 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It's got promise, I can tell you that. I like the plot and it sounds really interesting, but I have to be truthful. It's got a really, REALLY crudy title. About as unoriginal as they come. Also, I don't really like the style that you wrote it in. It's way too informal for this to be a proper story. The "okays" and "anyways" and the insertion of yourself into the story as well as the side comments really distract readers from where you're going. I really do like the idea of this story. It sounds like it could develop into a great romance. In short, this story is OKAY but not brilliant.
~cattykit~
~cattykit~