Among the Clouds

Her days had turned lonely and monotonous. After she watched the spider hanyou's destruction from her shiro in the clouds, the reigning Lady of the Western Lands had settled into a deep depression, one where she though about the series of events that had brought her only son to her just recently; she pondered the hows and whys of Sesshomaru's peculiar relationship with ningen girl-child, wondered what on earth had happened to change her son into the man he despised: his father… Masami wondered for the first time if maybe it was the destiny of all inu yokai to wind up with a human, as evidenced by her former husband, his youngest son, and now also her own son.

One day, she observed Sesshomaru and Rin just outside the village where he had left the girl in the care of an old miko. She observed how he broke his stony features for a split second, softened his eyes and lips and bestowed the girl with the gift of a genuine smile. Masami wondered if a human might be able to bring her the happiness she had yet to find with another of her kind. That was the day she sent for Kohaku.

When Kohaku received the summons, he was tempted to find Sesshomaru and ask him what he made of the letter Masami had written to him. Sango had told him to proceed there with caution, that there were rumors that the woman was insane. Miroku had encouraged him to go in hopes that he might make a quick and easy fistful of coin. Trusting his training should anything go wrong, he took Kirara and flew up to see the demoness.

He dismounted the nekomata and walked up the stairs rather than landing at the top, feeling it was rude. When Kohaku reached the dais on which Masami sat, he bowed and said firmly, "What is it I may do for my Lady?"

In a move that surprised him enough to suddenly grip his chain scythe, she rose and descended the platform to stand in front of him. "Do not fear, boy. This Lady has no intentions of harming you. This one merely wishes to spend some time with you, to resolve some… personal curiosities. Perhaps we should stroll through the gardens and talk a while."

Nervously, Kohaku released his weapon and followed behind the elegant Lady of the West, and soon they were in a beautifully maintained garden with large, lush trees and sweet smelling and beautifully blooming flowers. She sat down under a plum tree, and Kohaku knelt not far from her. "Please, boy. Make yourself comfortable."

"My name is Kohaku, my lady," he said clearly and politely.

"Very well, sit and be comfortable, Kohaku. I have some things I would like to ask you." Masami did not look at him, her stony face watching the water in the koi pond gently rippling with the movement of the fish within. "Tell me, when did this one's son fall in love with that girl?"

Kohaku blinked. This was certainly not the line of questioning he was expecting to have to answer. "Umm, I do not know, my lady. When I joined them it was fairly obvious to me that she was the most special of us to Lord Sesshomaru. And then when we were in hell and he was crying for her-"

"Sesshomaru cried for her? In front of you?" she said with a shocked tone of voice, her eyes giving away the surprise she felt at such a fact.

"Yes, my lady. When Tenseiga couldn't revive her, he cried that he couldn't save her." What is the point of this? Kohaku wondered.

"Hn." Masami grunted and then was silent for quite a long time. "Tell this one how the little girl is viewed by her own kind for loving a demon lord."

Kohaku shifted his weight a bit. "To most, she is considered to be an outcast, my lady. But given the choice between her own kind and Lord Sesshomaru, I believe she would choose him every time. My sister had told me that before she came to be with Lord Sesshomaru, the people in her home village beat her after bandits murdered her entire family. She moved on to another village, but they beat her for trying to provide food for herself. My sister believes that she stays with Lord Sesshomaru because he probably has never laid a hand on her. And Rin herself has nothing but adoration for my Lord."

Masami's face was overshadowed by a slight frown. "Is he happy with her? This one has observed his behavior when the two of them are alone… but this Lady wonders how others see them, not knowing the secrets that this one knows."

Kohaku regarded her somewhat sad face in the orange glow of the setting sun. "He seems very happy with her, my Lady. He seems happy to know that she is safe from Naraku's evil, safe from illness and the elements in Lady Kaede's care, that she is safe from abuse considering that my sister and her husband, as well as InuYasha, all live there to protect her. My personal opinion is that he is waiting for her to grow up so he might take her as a mate." He swallowed and spoke once more. "My lady, may I ask why it is that you are so concerned about this relationship? It's not as if Rin could ever be a threat to your powerful son."

The Lady of the West said nothing for a moment, and then spoke quietly, "This one simply wants to understand what it is about humans that drew first her husband, then her son away from her. This one wants to know what it is that human women have that this one does not." She turned to him. "I suppose you prefer your own kind to someone such as this Lady."

Kohaku looked down at the ground. "I don't know, my lady. If I had to name any one female who captured my heart, I'd honestly have to say Kagura, whom I understand was fully yokai despite having been one of Naraku's detachments." He watched as Masami's golden eyes found his. "Personally, given my training and destined profession, I find human women to be too naïve, too trusting, too slow and too flighty, always concerning themselves with things that don't matter, such as gossip and old wives tales and zodiac signs. My sister is an exception, but she was raised the same as I was, and despite Rin's age, she has been through much trauma in her short life, and therefore does not fit that standard either. From what I know of InuYasha's woman, that standard holds for at least five hundred years. That woman would be just like the others had it not been for her spiritual powers." He turned away from her gaze, facing the gentle breeze that blew from the south. "I personally prefer a woman who is unafraid and confident, strong enough to stand on her own, or maybe by my side as we both fight together. But even so, at the end of the day, I want a warm embrace to rest my body in, kind words to make me forget about the evil I witness daily, maybe a soft kiss to tell me goodnight and pleasant dreams. I don't want anyone to cook and clean for me, I don't want a woman to bear me many children. I want a strong woman who can love me for the warrior I am and not expect too much from me. And I doubt seriously I will find what I'm looking for in my own race."

Masami traced a pattern on her knee of one of the cranes adorning her outermost layer on today's kimono. "When Sesshomaru's father took this one, she was young and naïve as well. He was gone fighting much of the time, and when he was home this one treated him much the way a favorite servant would. She never broke her imperial speech… not once, not even in the throes of passion." She noticed the boy's face redden from the corner of her eye. "After Sesshomaru was born, he was whisked away and tended to by nursemaids and eventually sensei of both physical and mental studies. This one had only a few precious moments with him. This one saw less and less of both her son and her husband. When word had reached this one of that ningen princess her husband had chosen to bed with… This one could only say that the cold heart within her became completely frozen, and has yet to be thawed. She expected her husband to have concubines, but certainly not outside of his own race, and most definitely to not sire any children by them, let alone a filthy hanyou." She sighed. "This one doesn't understand what it is about the human women that make her so undesirable."

Kohaku stared at her for a moment. She really was quite stunning in appearance, and when he'd first met her, she was extremely intimidating. But to hear these words coming from her, to see how much she hurt without really showing it, it made his heart ache for her… It ached for her the same way it had ached for Kagura, the one who had first stolen his heart. Kagura was forced to be in Naraku's service, just like him. Kagura had killed in Naraku's name when her innerself had cried out not to, just like him. They were very much kindred spirits in that sense. Now here sat the Lady of the Western Lands, his lord's mother. She had spent many years ruling from her shiro in the clouds, and now she wondered if this was all that there was for her: loneliness and despair, just like him. She wondered if there were any among her kind who could ever understand her, just like him.

"I think I understand, my lady." He scooted a little closer to her. "Your husband and your son were both very powerful and regal yokai, royalty of the highest honor. They are expected to maintain a certain level of dignity and grace at all times, to uphold righteous reputations that may at times be just too heavy to bear. In your husband's case, perhaps he sought relief from his lordly title and expectations when he came to his private chambers with you, and when you never let yourself be at ease with him, perhaps he felt he never got the break he wanted, so he chose a silly human woman who would want the closeness you refused to him, the familiarity of a woman calling him by his name instead of his title… I suspect this is why your son favors Rin the way he does as well. The known world trembles in fear at the mention of your son's name. Rin has never been afraid of Lord Sesshomaru, and I imagine the interactions between them are unguarded and simple, intimate and personal, something they neither one could share with another living soul." He smiled lightly at Masami. "Perhaps my lady should try relaxing a bit, dropping the imperial speech for a little while and being more open with her emotions. Most human women are very emotional, as in they give their love freely and openly to their husband, they openly cry when they are upset, they yell and scowl when they are angry, and smile and laugh when they are happy. I mean no disrespect, my lady, but your beautiful face seems to be carved out of stone. It gives you the appearance of being cold and heartless, even though I witnessed for myself that this is not true."

Masami's eyes glittered. "This one appreciates your time here today with her, Kohaku. This lady will consider the things we have discussed today. Perhaps you could come again in a few weeks and judge this one's progress." She rose elegantly and bid him to follow her back to her throne.

"My lady, may I ask your name?" he asked before they exited the privacy of the garden.

She turned, at first seemingly irritated that he'd even asked such a thing, and then her expression eased a bit. "This one's given name is Masami."

"It is quite fitting," he said, then lowered his head and his voice. "You are most certainly an elegant beauty."

They were both unseen by the other, but both faces flushed at the shy compliment. They neared her throne. "Please return soon Kohaku. May your journey home be safe."

"Thank you for your hospitality, my lady. I will return in a few days."

Masami retired to her rooms for the night after watching Kohaku leave. She was giddy as a young girl, still recalling the compliments he'd given her while they talked: "your beautiful face…" "You are most certainly an elegant beauty." It had been a very long time since anyone had told her she was beautiful, not since before her war dog husband left her for Izayoi. She settled into her futon to sleep for the night and blew out the lamp. Then under cover of darkness, she let a small smile come to her lips, then allowed it to broaden until she was beaming in the night, her fangs visible to those who could see in the dark. She then whispered to herself, "Kohaku… I cannot wait for you to return to me." A short fit of giggles later and she'd rolled to her side under the covers, smiling as she faded into sleep, slipping into dreams of the human boy who seemed to be exactly what the old demoness needed.