Control Gained, Control Lost

I don't even know her name, but I don't give a damn. All I know is when I saw her I couldn't wait to get her alone. Her eyes are the most beautiful green I've ever seen, and that come hither stare she threw at me all through dinner was enough to make me want to rape her right there on the dining table. I don't know where Sesshomaru found her, and at the moment I don't give a damn about that either. The only thing I give a damn about is keeping her quiet long enough to get my fill of her.

I knew I would find her in the kitchen, and given the size of the meal this evening I know she'll be in there for a while cleaning up after the dinner guests. I see my wife and children to bed, excuse myself to 'meditate' and nearly race back to the kitchen to find her. I hide in the shadows, wait til she is alone, and then make my presence known by lightly shaking my staff. Those jade green eyes meet mine and she knows in an instant why I'm there. The dish she holds in her hands is quickly set aside and I drag her into the one place I know I will find empty: my Lord's audience chamber.

Though the room is large, we only need a small spot. Our hands are everywhere, our lips locked in a warm embrace as we rush to undress. Finally the most essential parts of our bodies are bare and I take her in, not sure where I want to go first. I decide to take a perfect breast to my lips, to relish the flavor of her perfect nipple and enjoy that she doesn't fill my mouth with milk when I do. I move from there to that curly-haired, pink hollow at the apex of her long legs, dive in with my nose and my fingers, driving relentlessly until she grants me the honey I seek… and what a sweet taste it is. I pull her legs around me as I slide back up to kiss her lips, and I sink my throbbing cock deep in her warmth that hasn't been stretched to the point where she struggles to grip me…

Gods… at every turn I find myself thinking of my poor wife… If her large breasts give me milk it's because I have made her bear my child. If she can't grip my shaft it's because I indulge in her too often and impregnated her too many times… This is all my fault. "I'm sorry woman. I can't go any further," I murmur as I pull out of her. She is looking at me with a shocked face. "Please don't take it as an insult, it's only that… I can't bring myself to do it any more." I've spent enough years taking Sesshomaru's servant girls on the side, and I simply can't continue. I gently cup her pretty face and suggest she get back to the kitchen, get the dishes washed and get some sleep. She pecks me on the cheek, thanks me for my time, and scurries half dressed back to the kitchen, leaving me to finish dressing in the empty audience chamber.

"Couldn't do it, could you?" Sesshomaru. How he knew I was here I'll never know.

"No, I can't do it to her anymore. I've never felt so awful in my entire life."

"Friend, guilt is pointless. You enjoyed your previous encounters before right?" My Lord is walking slowly to me as I struggle with my kimono. I nod that I did enjoy the other girls, that I immersed myself wholly in their flesh and had a riotous time indeed. "Then the time you enjoyed wasting was not really wasted at all."

"I should have been with my wife…" I growl. "I promised her Sesshomaru. I swore to her that I wouldn't do this anymore, but I broke my word over and over again." I look up at him. "And you're certainly no help, purposely choosing beauties that would most certainly undo my resolve."

"Please, Miroku. I have better things to do than hand pick my servants. I left that task to another in this palace long ago. Perhaps you should speak to that person. I can send for her if you like." In a flurry of whiteness, my Lord rings a bell at his hip and a different servant appears, one I had many moons ago. A quiet order is issued and the girl is gone. "She'll be here shortly. I sent the girl to fetch you a wet cloth to clean up with. I'll be retiring to my chambers now. And remember, Miroku," his golden eyes regard me in that stony way he does. "There's no reason to feel guilty. If she truly cares for you, she will know you struggled with this. Lechery is not an easy curse to break, friend." He strode from the room as the girl returned with the wash cloth.

I quickly scrubbed the green eyed woman's essence from my face and hands and then handed the cloth back to her. "Thank you, Kaoru." She smiled at me, a blush in her cheeks. I remembered vaguely the night I had her, it was the first snow last year. I pushed the thought out of my mind as Kaoru left, and then I heard the footsteps of this woman in charge of the servants. "I understand you are the one in charge of selecting the servants," I said with my back to whomever I was speaking to. "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mind picking women who are a little older, a little more rough around the edges. I get the feeling you know of my curse and are picking the women for my benefit."

"I am." A feminine voice lilts through the air, and I recognize it immediately.

I whirl around. On her knees is my lovely wife. "Sango… What the hell?"

She giggles, a sound that I normally would grin at, but my dropped jaw hinders that. "Weren't expecting me were you?"

"Gods, no." I toss my staff without care to the ground and come to her side, flopping down angrily beside her. "So what, is this some kind of secret plot between you and Sesshomaru?"

Sango sighs and takes my hand. "Sweetheart, I know you struggle with your lechery. I watched how you looked at the servant girls and I saw that inner conflict going on in your eyes. I asked Sesshomaru to let me pick the servant girls, and then I sorta set 'em on you, telling them from the beginning that they would only be a once only thing, maybe twice but never more than that." I am in awe of what she is telling me, shocked and unsure of whether I should be angry or not. "I figured if I picked them… If I picked them it gave me complete control over the situation." Her pretty eyes found mine. "It gave me control when you lost yours."

I hung my head and cradled my face in my hands. How could I have allowed myself to treat the love of my life this way? How could have let my passions overrun my sense of duty to my family? "Sango, I don't know what to say for myself." I feel her gentle hands on my back, soothing me in that way only she can, and suddenly I'm so upset with myself that I start to cry.

"Miroku, don't cry! See? This is that struggle I was talking about. I know you love me, I know you love our children, but you simply can't control that want for the young girls… I saw it everyday when we were out in the wilds… And even then I wished I could have done something, anything to help." I am wiping my face, trying to straighten up and trying to tell myself that I should count my blessings that she isn't mad at me and trying to dismember me. "Honey… What you do with those girls isn't about love, it's about satisfying a need, like eating when you're hungry and sleeping when you're tired. I don't take it personally like I did when we first started our courtship. I simply control what you get, making sure they are clean and beautiful, and making sure they understand that it's not to be a permanent thing. And I make them drink a potion to keep them from bearing you any children."

Sesshomaru has returned, this time with the girl that I sent back to the kitchen, the one my wife picked out for me… the only one of the servants with whom I didn't finish what I started. My Lord says in his stony voice, "I think you better give her another try, monk. She was selected especially for you, you know." The girl is blushing. Sango motions for her to join us, and she sits on her knees beside Sango.

"Miroku, this is Etsuko. I chose her because of her eyes and the shape of her waistline." Sango looks at me. "Is she not attractive?"

I don't answer right away… there's something that feels odd about stating how I feel about another woman to my wife. Sango asks me again if I found her unattractive. "No, she's gorgeous… I just… I just felt so damn guilty." I looked my darling Sango in the eye. "I felt like I was breaking my word to you, and I just couldn't do that anymore. It hurt too bad inside to take her like my flesh wanted to."

Sango smiled. "I know you don't want to do it, but just like if you didn't want to eat, eventually you'd have to if you wanted to live." She smoothed Etsuko's hair. "She is ready for you. I told her what to expect and what you like. Miroku, you simply must lay with her."

Etsuko speaks quietly for the first time, "I am yours for the night houshi-dono. It is my duty to lie with you and indulge your body with my own." Sango whispers into the girl's ear, and then I feel the girl's hands upon my face, pulling me in for a sweet kiss.

"See how he melts?" my wife asks Sesshomaru. I notice him nod out of the corner of my eye. I feel Sango's sure hands come down around my member, and my eyes fly open. "You really like kisses, don't you, monk?"

I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth. My wife is holding what belongs to her by default of our marriage, while the girl with the gorgeous green eyes is kissing me perfectly, the two women turning me into a trembling pile of nothingness.

Sango pulls the girl away and whispers into her ear again, the girl nodding occasionally. Sesshomaru slides into the shadows, though I'm not sure if he leaves or if he is simply hiding in the dark. The women before me begin to disrobe, both of them, and in a moment, they are both disrobing me…

"Sango?" I ask as Etsuko's hand makes gentle passes across my chest and stomach. I am confused as to why they are both here, and why they are both seducing me.

"Shh," she says. "Just feel. Enjoy what's happening, alright?" I nod as she captures my lips and snakes her hands deep in what's left of my clothing, grasping my hardened male flesh and squeezing softly. I feel two sets of feminine hands untying and pulling my hakema from my legs, I feel the tugs and jerks of my wife and the servant who belongs to me for the moment, and they are pulling the fundoshi away from me… Is this really happening??

Sango is telling Etsuko the best way to suck me, and suggesting they work as a team. Before I know for sure what's going on, Etsuko is licking and teasing and then bobbing her head over my stiffened shaft. I'm positive it can't get any better than this, but then it does as I feel Sango's sweet mouth working over my balls, sucking and licking them while I'm being sucked off by the servant girl. "Fuck… Gods that's so good," I groan through gritted teeth.

I hear Sango's twittering laugher from below me, then she opens wide and pulls my entire sack into her mouth and sucks hard. Etsuko notices and does the same to my engorged member, and before I can give her warning or try to push her away, I am filling her talented throat with my essence, nearly sobbing from pleasure as I do so.

While I lay catching my breath, Sango whispers something into the girl's ear, and then I watch as my sweet wife lays the girl on her back and straddles her face, the pussy I know so well dripping into Etsuko's waiting mouth. Sango tells me to come to her when I'm ready, so I stand and walk slowly to where she is being feasted upon. "We haven't done this is a long time, my love," she says as she beckons me to place my rigid organ between her swollen milk-filled breasts. She moves her endowments up and down my length while swirling her tongue around my reddened tip. As she squeezes me, milk dribbles out of her and runs down her skin in creamy white rivulets, then she pulls away for a moment, to lubricate my shaft with the sweet liquid before taking me back into that warm embrace once more.

"Sango…" I whisper, "I love you so much." I pull away from her, drop to my knees beside her and pull one of those milky orbs into my mouth and suckle like my son does: greedily. I miss the days when she did not make milk, but I won't deny that her flavor is sweet and creamy, not at all distasteful or gross. In fact, right now as she writhes above the girl with the jade green eyes, I am craving this taste. While I am tasting what she makes for my children, my hand has delved back into that tight little woman under my wife, and I twist and pull at Etsuko's swollen pleasure bud, encouraging her to climax with her. They both come to their end squealing my name, and I can do nothing but smile.

Sango rolls to her knees and begs me to enter her from behind. Etsuko sits on Sango's back, damn near on her ass, and guides me in. Suddenly Sesshomaru appears again from the shadows, wearing nothing but his hakema. "You appear to have one woman too many, perhaps this one could assist." I had been gripping Etsuko's breasts as I pounded my wife gently, but Sesshomaru gripped her hips and simply bid her to stand up. Given his height, she didn't need to kneel for him, and with a quick yank to the ties on his pants, they fall to the floor and he pushed himself inside of her while I kissed her, and I pushed myself inside of Sango as she reached up and toyed with his silver haired sack.

The audience chamber was filled with the sounds of passion: grunts and moans and gasps, as well as the wet sound of penetration and the crack of sweat slicked skin slapping against skin. Sango is chanting below me, telling me over and over how good it feels, and Etsuko is calling out to the kami as Sesshomaru masters her internal fist. Within mere minutes, both women cry out their release, and shortly afterward my Lord and I are bursting within them, so much so that it's spilling out as we're still pumping it in. Sesshomaru looks down at the girl beaming at him from over her shoulder.

"You are good young one, this one will make you one of my concubines." He rings that bell at his hip three times, signaling for his most trusted servant, a tight lipped bear demon. It was she who cleaned the girl and sent her to her new quarters, as well as brought towels for the rest of us to clean ourselves up with. Once she had left, Sesshomaru slipped back into his informal speech while it was only the three of us there. "It has been an enjoyable evening, but I must retire to my mate's chamber." Rin was still recovering from birthing his first pup, and no doubt he certainly needed this romp with his newest concubine. I felt honored that I had taken the girl first, something about him having my leftovers was a little pleasing. The bear yokai left my wife and I to the solitude of the large room once more.

"That was incredible," I whisper into her ear as I nuzzle her cheek and neck.

"Yes, it was. Maybe I should be with you every time you take one of the servant girls."

"Maybe you should," I mumble as I suckle that sweet nourishment from her neglected breast.

"You want more?" she gasped into the dimly lit room.

"I'll never get enough," I say as I enter her once more. "I'll never get enough of you, woman." Though I hunger for a woman's flesh nearly constantly, Sango's is my favorite of all; she is my home and my perfect mate, and no substitute will ever do.