Agent Naval Orange
folder
InuYasha › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
968
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
968
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Agent Naval Orange
Agent Naval Orange
Inuyasha and the guys were sitting around the camp fire discussing things while Sango and Kagome were having their crimson tide in her era.
“Hey mutt face what is long hard and full of seamen?”
Kouga stated
“A submarine.”
Inuyasha stated rolling his eyes at the stupid question.
“I was thinking it was me.”
Miroku piped up since he loved talking about anything to do with his virility.
“Monk, you cannot compare to this Sesshoumaru. Indeed it is I whom they are referring to.”
“No it really is a submarine.”
“No it ain’t mutt. A submarine is a sandwitch….duh…….”
“You are a moron”
“Take that back!”
“Will you two cease your brainless activity at once?”
Miroku knowing Inuyasha was right, but just wanted to make a joke decided to bring up some facts since all the men were together without the women to hit them for being chauvinistic.
“So, let me see. The Navy has these torpedo things, bullets, and other phallic looking weapons of mass destruction of enemies. So doesn’t that mean men rule so women should just deal with it?”
Sesshoumaru down his nose at Miroku wondering if the human had a brain or if his moments of brilliance were just an occasional thing he used to impress people.
“I rule, not men.”
Inuyasha snorted.
“Keh…whatever. If you think about it what do torpedoes and other such things have to go through? I will tell you. A damn hole or tube.’
“Without the hole or tube with adequate fire power to push it out you wouldn’t get anywhere. It is like a dick that has no home to go to. It would just sit there poking up at you wondering what the fuck. A hole is needed so even if we think we rule, women have us down to a science. Someday when my gay brother gets a woman of his own if he is into that he will understand what us mated guys already know. We are chauvinistic pigs, but bitches have the hole we want to blow our shafts into so they win every time.”
Sesshoumaru sighed and then whacked Inuyasha across the back of the head.
“Inuyasha, men have holes too. Like your mouth….it never knows when to shut it.”
Kouga thought about that line again. Long and hard full of seamen.
“Why does it have to be a submarine? Why can’t it be something big like an aircraft carrier?”
Inuyasha growled.
“Look ya wimpy wolf, I didn’t make the damn joke. It is like that one I told you about, what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? Throw him in the lake and see if he drowns. That is what I would do.”
“Miroku what would you do with a drunken sailor?”
“Male or female?”
“What do you mean females are allowed in the Navy. This Sesshoumaru does not agree with such nonsense.”
“Look big brother, it is in Kagome’s time I heard all this and they have women’s lib so deal with it already. Women ain’t like what you think they are like. No one is going to just kiss your ass all the damn time and definitely not those women.”
“I never stated ass kissing was necessary, but all my laws will be followed or I will kill them.”
“You kill women?”
“Miroku, of course he does. He is gay. Just ask Kagome he tried to kill her.”
“I was making an example and I told you Inuyasha I am bisexual not gay. I am not ever happy. That would be a sign that I cared and I never care.”
“Keh…whatever. Miroku answer the damn question.”
“Well if it were a female I would grope her a lot and then help her with her drinking problem. It is my duty as a monk to heal in all ways so I would indeed do so.”
Kouga thought about the question.
“What would ya do if it were a dude?”
“Probably do what Inuyasha stated or draw on his face or let Shippo decorate him. I might even let Sesshoumaru’s pet child Rin put flowers on them.”
“She isn’t my pet. Rin is my ward.”
“A ward of the state of insanity since you corrupted her into thinking you are a nice guy. What the hell Sess, can’t you be normal and meet women your own damn age?”
As Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha argued about Sesshoumaru’s addiction to adopting orphans as pets, Kouga thought up a good thing he would do with a drunken sailor.
“I would take that drunken bastard and sober him up quick. Then I would put him on twenty four hour watch duty and make him clean my dens for a month. As a leader you have to make people useful or they ain’t worth anything and you might as well let your wolf pack eat them.”
“That isn’t a bad idea. Too bad you can’t do that with kids, but then again I wouldn’t want wolves eating my little ones even when they do grate on ones nerves at times.”
“Well back to the subject, I still say Inuyasha dealing with anyone except when Kagome makes him would be amusing since I could almost see him wind scaring some poor drunk bastard thinking he was a demon.”
“Nah, he has a good enough nose to find out if they are human or not.”
“Except on his human night…….but of course then he can’t wind scar anyone.”
“Yep, that is when he is a wimp. I should really kick his ass one of those nights. You know just to show him who is really the wimp.”
“Except that would be cheating Kouga. I mean what is the big challenge attacking him when he is defenseless and weak?”
“Is he really weak on his human nights? Didn’t anyone teach him to fight?”
Miroku thought about it.
“Well he fights, but he always gets his ass kicked until he changes back or he almost dies when attacked then heals when he changes back.”
“Huh, seems ridiculous to me. What does he do? Run away and hide?”
“Ya, I guess he should have joined the military so he could learn about Agent Orange. It apparently killed a lot of people so if he had it then he would feel safe.”
“What is agent orange?”
“Some chemical that screws people up, not that we ain’t screwed up enough as it is. I mean look at us Kouga. We are married with kids. Where have our lives gone?”
“Down the drain dude, sunk.”
Inuyasha freaked.
“Don’t say that word! That four letter word if said will sink……awe damn…….I said another bad four letter word. You can’t say stuff like those s words because every time one is said a ship goes down. I mean just look at my game of battleship with Sess. He used the s words so much on me I will never regain my crews. Next time we are playing UNO.”
Kouga spoke up.
“Well I am going to flog my log.”
Miroku tagged along with Kouga.
“I’m with you, got to drain my torpedo. Wait up.”
Sesshoumaru looked over at Inuyasha.
“So little brother do you mind telling me why we are talking about all this Navy nonsense. It won’t even be as you say until 500 years if what you say is true.”
“Because we were talking about groping Sango earlier and it was getting old. I mean to bend over is one thing………”
“Speaking of bending over Inuyasha why do you continue to grope me?”
“Well you know that old saying about 1000 guys going down on a submarine?”
“No.”
“Well 500 couples come back up. It is because you have been down so long that anything becomes attractive even you.”
******************************************************************************
Yes I know this is stupid, I came up with it spur of the moment. I could probably make it funnier, but I am tired. So maybe later.
Inuyasha and the guys were sitting around the camp fire discussing things while Sango and Kagome were having their crimson tide in her era.
“Hey mutt face what is long hard and full of seamen?”
Kouga stated
“A submarine.”
Inuyasha stated rolling his eyes at the stupid question.
“I was thinking it was me.”
Miroku piped up since he loved talking about anything to do with his virility.
“Monk, you cannot compare to this Sesshoumaru. Indeed it is I whom they are referring to.”
“No it really is a submarine.”
“No it ain’t mutt. A submarine is a sandwitch….duh…….”
“You are a moron”
“Take that back!”
“Will you two cease your brainless activity at once?”
Miroku knowing Inuyasha was right, but just wanted to make a joke decided to bring up some facts since all the men were together without the women to hit them for being chauvinistic.
“So, let me see. The Navy has these torpedo things, bullets, and other phallic looking weapons of mass destruction of enemies. So doesn’t that mean men rule so women should just deal with it?”
Sesshoumaru down his nose at Miroku wondering if the human had a brain or if his moments of brilliance were just an occasional thing he used to impress people.
“I rule, not men.”
Inuyasha snorted.
“Keh…whatever. If you think about it what do torpedoes and other such things have to go through? I will tell you. A damn hole or tube.’
“Without the hole or tube with adequate fire power to push it out you wouldn’t get anywhere. It is like a dick that has no home to go to. It would just sit there poking up at you wondering what the fuck. A hole is needed so even if we think we rule, women have us down to a science. Someday when my gay brother gets a woman of his own if he is into that he will understand what us mated guys already know. We are chauvinistic pigs, but bitches have the hole we want to blow our shafts into so they win every time.”
Sesshoumaru sighed and then whacked Inuyasha across the back of the head.
“Inuyasha, men have holes too. Like your mouth….it never knows when to shut it.”
Kouga thought about that line again. Long and hard full of seamen.
“Why does it have to be a submarine? Why can’t it be something big like an aircraft carrier?”
Inuyasha growled.
“Look ya wimpy wolf, I didn’t make the damn joke. It is like that one I told you about, what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? Throw him in the lake and see if he drowns. That is what I would do.”
“Miroku what would you do with a drunken sailor?”
“Male or female?”
“What do you mean females are allowed in the Navy. This Sesshoumaru does not agree with such nonsense.”
“Look big brother, it is in Kagome’s time I heard all this and they have women’s lib so deal with it already. Women ain’t like what you think they are like. No one is going to just kiss your ass all the damn time and definitely not those women.”
“I never stated ass kissing was necessary, but all my laws will be followed or I will kill them.”
“You kill women?”
“Miroku, of course he does. He is gay. Just ask Kagome he tried to kill her.”
“I was making an example and I told you Inuyasha I am bisexual not gay. I am not ever happy. That would be a sign that I cared and I never care.”
“Keh…whatever. Miroku answer the damn question.”
“Well if it were a female I would grope her a lot and then help her with her drinking problem. It is my duty as a monk to heal in all ways so I would indeed do so.”
Kouga thought about the question.
“What would ya do if it were a dude?”
“Probably do what Inuyasha stated or draw on his face or let Shippo decorate him. I might even let Sesshoumaru’s pet child Rin put flowers on them.”
“She isn’t my pet. Rin is my ward.”
“A ward of the state of insanity since you corrupted her into thinking you are a nice guy. What the hell Sess, can’t you be normal and meet women your own damn age?”
As Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha argued about Sesshoumaru’s addiction to adopting orphans as pets, Kouga thought up a good thing he would do with a drunken sailor.
“I would take that drunken bastard and sober him up quick. Then I would put him on twenty four hour watch duty and make him clean my dens for a month. As a leader you have to make people useful or they ain’t worth anything and you might as well let your wolf pack eat them.”
“That isn’t a bad idea. Too bad you can’t do that with kids, but then again I wouldn’t want wolves eating my little ones even when they do grate on ones nerves at times.”
“Well back to the subject, I still say Inuyasha dealing with anyone except when Kagome makes him would be amusing since I could almost see him wind scaring some poor drunk bastard thinking he was a demon.”
“Nah, he has a good enough nose to find out if they are human or not.”
“Except on his human night…….but of course then he can’t wind scar anyone.”
“Yep, that is when he is a wimp. I should really kick his ass one of those nights. You know just to show him who is really the wimp.”
“Except that would be cheating Kouga. I mean what is the big challenge attacking him when he is defenseless and weak?”
“Is he really weak on his human nights? Didn’t anyone teach him to fight?”
Miroku thought about it.
“Well he fights, but he always gets his ass kicked until he changes back or he almost dies when attacked then heals when he changes back.”
“Huh, seems ridiculous to me. What does he do? Run away and hide?”
“Ya, I guess he should have joined the military so he could learn about Agent Orange. It apparently killed a lot of people so if he had it then he would feel safe.”
“What is agent orange?”
“Some chemical that screws people up, not that we ain’t screwed up enough as it is. I mean look at us Kouga. We are married with kids. Where have our lives gone?”
“Down the drain dude, sunk.”
Inuyasha freaked.
“Don’t say that word! That four letter word if said will sink……awe damn…….I said another bad four letter word. You can’t say stuff like those s words because every time one is said a ship goes down. I mean just look at my game of battleship with Sess. He used the s words so much on me I will never regain my crews. Next time we are playing UNO.”
Kouga spoke up.
“Well I am going to flog my log.”
Miroku tagged along with Kouga.
“I’m with you, got to drain my torpedo. Wait up.”
Sesshoumaru looked over at Inuyasha.
“So little brother do you mind telling me why we are talking about all this Navy nonsense. It won’t even be as you say until 500 years if what you say is true.”
“Because we were talking about groping Sango earlier and it was getting old. I mean to bend over is one thing………”
“Speaking of bending over Inuyasha why do you continue to grope me?”
“Well you know that old saying about 1000 guys going down on a submarine?”
“No.”
“Well 500 couples come back up. It is because you have been down so long that anything becomes attractive even you.”
******************************************************************************
Yes I know this is stupid, I came up with it spur of the moment. I could probably make it funnier, but I am tired. So maybe later.