Bathing

Walking out to the hot springs for Inuyasha was normally not a big deal, but ever since he found out his whole world was filled with perverts he had to watch his ass. They were watching him, writing stories about him, drawing him naked, and for all he knew there were paparazzi with video cameras following him around. It was all Kagome’s fault too.

Checking the area he ran as fast as he could behind a tree.

“Inuyasha where are you?”

Shippo called out. Of course the runt was going to be a problem.

“Go back to the camp Shippo.”

Inuyasha ground out as he walked out with a towel on. Of course Shippo was excited because he loved bath time so he stripped jumping into the water making a big splash as Inuyasha whacked his forehead.

“Shippo don’t you know you are supposed to wear a damn towel and don’t just get naked like that. People are watching.”

Shippo shrugged as he had a floatation ring Kagome gave him with a dinosaur face.

“I am a little kid Inuyasha. Only you adults freak out about the weirdest things. I wonder why.”

Inuyasha growled looking around for those damn spies he knew were just waiting for him to take it off.

“Well I am not. Why can’t you wait for Kagome and Sango to bathe? They love to help you and besides sometimes I want privacy ya runt.”

Shippo frowned.

“But I wanna bath Inuyasha!”

Inuyasha finally had it. He was going in with his towel. Fuck it.

“Keh..Whatever.”

Shippo looked at Inuyasha as he sat in his towel. He heard whispers around them, but this wasn’t anything unusual. It was probably just Kagome and the others.

“So Inuyasha, why don’t you and Kagome bathe together with me now that you are mated? I mean I am your adopted kid so we can do things just like my Momma and Poppa. I am always getting left out and I am tired of it. You two keep wanting your ‘alone time’, well I want my together time.”

Inuyasha frowned and looked down at Shippo.

“Kid you just don’t get it and I told you I would explain things when you are older. Now bathe so you can go back and I can have some alone time just for myself.”

Shippo frowned and whimpered.

“Why don’t you like me Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha growled.

“If I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have adopted you runt. I just…….”

Sesshoumaru showed up and there were of course cat calls in the woods as well as girls fainting all over the place. Make that a few guys too. I mean it is ‘THE SESSHOUMARU’.

“Inuyasha why are you in a towel? You know that is foolish and now how are you to dry yourself as well as your pup? Must I do everything for you?”

Sesshoumaru sighed as he took off his shirt. More cat calls were heard and as he took off his pants Will (you know that homosexual dude from Will and Grace) fainted. I mean passed out cold due to Sess’s hotness.

Inuyasha freaked as he scooted to the end of the hot springs far from his brother.

“What is your malfunction half breed?”

Sesshoumaru asked as Inuyasha looked around.

“YOU CAN’T GET NAKED LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF SHIPPO! Plus there are……..”

Inuyasha stated freaking out as Sesshoumaru started cleaning himself off with Soft Soap by Dove and washed his hair with Pantene Hair Products for Silver Hair. Buy them……they are great, oh and he was also shaving his legs with Suave leg soap for women.

“I was not doing any of those things narrator.”

He was too. I saw it with my new purple glasses.

“She is right. By the way what are you doing in the hot springs with us? I understand why I am wearing a towel, but you have no excuse Miroku. You are fully dressed in the water.”

Kouga stated.

“Hey guys, what is a pervert?”

Shippo asked. Everyone pointed to Miroku.

“Oh…well what is one?”

Sesshoumaru gave the pup a death glare making Shippo silence his questions.

“Mutt face, why don’t you tell the runt? He will figure it out someday.”

Kouga prodded.

“Look I didn’t start this story so blame the pervert and let him explain why I am afraid to take off my towel. I mean Sesshoumaru and you may not care pony tail wimp, but I have some pride left. Sesshoumaru hasn’t taken all of it and I agree with Miroku. We are surrounded.”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“I don’t know what you are babbling on about. There is no one here except for us men and your human pervert monk’s wild imagination. I don’t even know what a video camera is.”

Miroku pulled one out from behind the rock that Kagome gave him because Kagome is cool like that and thus soft porn was invented.

“See……………”

Sesshoumaru grasps the thing.

“Not in front of the pup.”

Kouga shrugs.

“What, he said porn. It ain’t even hard core stuff. It is the women bathing which isn’t anything we haven’t seen before.”

Inuyasha grasps the camera to break it only to have Sesshoumaru bonk him on the head.

“Do not grab at this Sesshoumaru.”

Inuyasha whimpers.

“But you are supposed to be gay. You aren’t supposed to like shit like we guys do.”

Sesshoumaru finished shaving his other leg.

“I told you I am bisexual little brother. When you figure that out maybe I will allow you a life. Then again your life is mine so don’t bother using the little brain power you have left. You will hurt yourself.”

Shippo floats past everyone on his floaty.

“What is porn?”

Inuyasha snorts and throws a hand up.

“See, what did I tell you. I am surrounded by perverts with video cameras and you wonder why I want to bath alone. Plus I can’t take my towel off since you two bicycle sexual freaks will look at me. I also don’t’ want your damn paparazzi following my ass. Stupid fan girls and guys. Stupid Kagome.”

Kouga sighed.

“Being famous ain’t bad Inuyasha. Oh and Shippo someday when you are older runt we will teach you everything so don’t worry. If I told you now the dog boys would have my balls.”

Sesshoumaru smacks the wolf across the pond right into Miroku and a water fight ensues. All the bathing males are being watched in the woods, on TV, on pay per view, on commercials for non female products (sure), and supposedly demons don’t shave their legs. Well explain to me then why they would be full dog demons without body hair hmmmmmm? And werewolves are covered in hair Kouga.

Inuyasha never gets over his fear of bathing as he washes his hair, pouring water over his hard abs, chiseled physic, and of course the towel is see through making the whole gay community go crazy wanting his bod since he looks sexy like all the anime guys. Oh and the women want them all too (plus to be as pretty with such perfect hair, no never mind I like being a female with boobs rather than pecks. Peck…sounds like a chicken.) And of course Shippo being a kid will never understand adults. The end.