Toxic Bologna
folder
InuYasha › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,106
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,106
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Toxic Bologna
Hello everyone and welcome to new discoveries in the Toxic Market. Today we are displaying the new and improved Toxic Hot Dog. Inuyasha bring out the product.
“Keh, I got it. Now what?”
Now all you have to do is open the package.
“I am trying to do that……..what is this thing sealed with? Fucking super glue?”
As Inuyasha works to get the thing open…….don’t use the tessaiga……..anyway as he gets it open……..here give it to me already.
“You opened it with car keys?”
Yes I did, anyway now that it is loose go ahead and put the cat fur on it. (A yowling sound can be heard from Kagome’s kitchen. Poor Bayou, but we did need a test subject.)
Ok now put the hair on the Toxic Hot Dog.
“Like this?”
Inuyasha you dropped the hair on the floor. Use the plastic gloves and put the hair on the dog.
“Fine, keh…….this is so stupid. It ain’t gonna work. Damnit the gloves ripped on my claws. Your damn product is defective.”
Grasping the real gloves out of the box since those were only if you had allergies to latex, I put the hair on the Toxic Hot Dog. Now it is a Toxic Hot Cat.
“Wow it did work. But it smells like bologna.”
You are absolutely right Inuyasha. That is because the Toxic Hot Dog is brought to you only from the Toxic Full Of Bologna Company Inc. as a trade mark item or TM. All copywrite laws are written too by the Toxic Full of Bologna Lawyers and by the Toxic Full of Bologna Corporation.
“So you are basically saying that Toxic thing is full of Bologna? Can you eat it?”
No silly boy, it is Toxic Bologna. It is shape shifting living full of bologna and will indeed be something worth your money. We even have the glob of Toxic Bologna that your child can play in that lives in a crate with a perfectly safe toxic waste suit so that no toxic thing will get on your child, but they will have hours of play plus can create their own friend since it is a living full of bologna experience.
“So why would you sell something toxic? I mean isn’t this hot whatever it is going to intoxicate the house?”
Well I am glad you asked that Inuyasha. No it will not because only it is made up of perfectly safe clean toxic bologna waste which can be disposed at the Toxic dump site. If you think that is a problem just know I have a guarantee Toxic Full of Bologna clause that comes with each of your Toxic Bologna product. The Toxic Hot Dog is both biodegradable and is only made up of 10% of the toxic waste that makes it such an entertaining item. It barks, meows, glows in the dark so you can find it at night, it is green so you know Sesshoumaru will love it, and it can talk.
“What do you mean it can talk? I don’t want that thing talking back to me. My kid does that enough not to mention that fox brat. To say it is safe I think you are full of it.”
Why yes Inuyasha I am proud to say I am proud to be a sponsor for Toxic Full of Bologna and I am indeed full of it since I love this company that much. It has made me millions.
“Let me guess it is a government product.”
Yes it is Inuyasha. It has politicians written all over it. How else do you think it got its name plus of course the fact that it is 100% Toxic Oscar Myer brand Bologna. Even that company is full of Bologna just ask them to spell it out for you and guess what! They will!
“So what you are saying is that this….. Whatever………you can buy now and it is full of bologna just like you?”
Indeedy so Inuyasha. It is.
“Monk I thought you were full of it, now I know that it wasn’t just bullshit.”
We don’t sell bullshit Inuyasha and even if it looks like crop circles I am not into that kind of artistry. It stinks. We sell Bologna, the toxic kind. So hold up the product.
“I can’t believe the things you talk me into.”
Not enough I assure you my friend. Anyway, later we can show you the adult versions of this great product. So go to your local toxic waste dump and just ask for Shady Purple and I shall sell you this for the low black market price of only 1 million yen.
“You are a rip off artist…..a swindler……you really should be arrested.”
Too late for that Inuyasha we are partners and now you are an accessory so just stand there and look pretty. Women love your ears and I know how they like to shop. Look at our wives and our bank accounts. That is why we had to go this route. It takes drastic measures you know. Not to mention Sesshoumaru who will definitely go for this after he opened up that orphanage. What is it with kids and him anyways?
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to know a lot of things he showed me and don’t ask. I am still traumatized and I am now like you. Corrupted and ruined for life.”
Kouga is nice to me so shut it. It could be worse. We could have been stuck with Jakotsu still after you and me.
“Oh get me a barf bag now………I would rather be stuck with my overly beautiful asshole brother then a dead dude who wanted to be a woman.”
Hey you were the one who wanted a dead woman, he was just offering.
“Don’t push it monk or I will shove my sword up your…….”
Ok already. Still hold up the product and do that thing with your ears.
“I am not going to make them dance for this shit. Just hurry up with the damn commercial.”
Ok, don’t get your hakumas in a twist.
“There, happy now. Stupid monk.”
Yes, that is much better. Like I said we will catch the toxic cat dog later and try something else with it. All it will do is glow in the dark. After all I made Jaken eat some and he is fine.
“You made Sesshoumaru’s slave pet frog eat some? Are you nuts? Do you want to die? If anything happens to Jaken I am pointing to you since I get blamed for enough shit around here.”
That is fine, he was fine. He just glows in the dark. That was the only side affect and Sesshoumaru likes that since now he knows where to throw rocks and also if he needs a place to wipe his feet when he comes home he doesn’t have to look around for Jaken. He knows where he is at all times. Remember he has that ‘I am a Demon Lord, Ruler of Everything and I don’t need your stinking help you pathetic weaklings attitude’ even if we both know he would be lost without us.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention our Toxic Salami products for men.
“A male only product, it is about fucking time.”
Well a woman could play hide the salami with this non gender specific product, but right now we want to appeal to the men.
“Keh, whatever. Like I need anything like that. My salami is just fine and I had no complaints. It tastes good, has a nice texture, and is long. It is great for dipping and if you stroke it your hands will smell good for hours.”
Inuyasha you can’t do that with toxic salami.
“No shit, so why do you want to sell something to men that is toxic? It is hard enough for men to keep their salami to themselves when it is normal. Making it toxic makes people want to run from it. Then again they wouldn’t keep stealing mine so go ahead.”
Well men are you tired of short salami that never lasts? Are you sick of people eating your crackers and ignoring your delicious long shlong of salami that is mouth watering to the taste? Do women shun you because your salami just doesn’t cut it anymore? Well come to the realm of the Toxic Full of Bologna for men section. Yes now that you are a man we can give you the perks of a huge salami you can be proud of. Inuyasha take out your salami and show them how big the toxic thing is.
“Man this thing is heavy and long. I can hardly lift the thing Miroku. I don’t know how anyone could get their mouth around this sucker. Are you sure that it is safe to have me pulling stuff out like this? I mean people could be watching us.”
Will you quit dragging it on the ground. Damnit Inuyasha. Now it is all dirty. Well, still it looks manly like that so just hold it like it is an extension of yourself and your manliness.
“Like this?”
Ya, man it makes me hungry. Do you have any more left of your normal salami?
“Duh, I have a huge salami right here although I wish this one wasn’t toxic.”
Ya I know. I could eat that all day long.
“I know what you mean. So are we done now you full of bologna monk?”
Yes you can put it down now.
“Thank Buddha. I thought you would never finish. Now I have to tell my brother where I was all afternoon you jerk.”
What are you going to tell him?
“Keh, the usual. You know, some fucked up full of bologna story what else?”
Good that is what I am going to tell Sango and Kouga. You know Inuyasha we are really good salesmen.
“Ya when it comes to being full of something we take the bologna.”
Don’t you mean cake?
“Keh no, shut up Miroku.”
Fine I won’t correct you again. Here let me help you carry the toxic salami.
“Damnit Miroku quit touching my Salami! I am a man and I can handle it myself!”
Sure, keep telling yourself that Inuyasha, but some things need two hands and I am only trying to help.
“Miroku if you do not keep your hands off my salami I will make your groping problem go away for good. Damn monk has to fondle salami all day long then wants to touch mine. Fucking bastard.”
“Keh, I got it. Now what?”
Now all you have to do is open the package.
“I am trying to do that……..what is this thing sealed with? Fucking super glue?”
As Inuyasha works to get the thing open…….don’t use the tessaiga……..anyway as he gets it open……..here give it to me already.
“You opened it with car keys?”
Yes I did, anyway now that it is loose go ahead and put the cat fur on it. (A yowling sound can be heard from Kagome’s kitchen. Poor Bayou, but we did need a test subject.)
Ok now put the hair on the Toxic Hot Dog.
“Like this?”
Inuyasha you dropped the hair on the floor. Use the plastic gloves and put the hair on the dog.
“Fine, keh…….this is so stupid. It ain’t gonna work. Damnit the gloves ripped on my claws. Your damn product is defective.”
Grasping the real gloves out of the box since those were only if you had allergies to latex, I put the hair on the Toxic Hot Dog. Now it is a Toxic Hot Cat.
“Wow it did work. But it smells like bologna.”
You are absolutely right Inuyasha. That is because the Toxic Hot Dog is brought to you only from the Toxic Full Of Bologna Company Inc. as a trade mark item or TM. All copywrite laws are written too by the Toxic Full of Bologna Lawyers and by the Toxic Full of Bologna Corporation.
“So you are basically saying that Toxic thing is full of Bologna? Can you eat it?”
No silly boy, it is Toxic Bologna. It is shape shifting living full of bologna and will indeed be something worth your money. We even have the glob of Toxic Bologna that your child can play in that lives in a crate with a perfectly safe toxic waste suit so that no toxic thing will get on your child, but they will have hours of play plus can create their own friend since it is a living full of bologna experience.
“So why would you sell something toxic? I mean isn’t this hot whatever it is going to intoxicate the house?”
Well I am glad you asked that Inuyasha. No it will not because only it is made up of perfectly safe clean toxic bologna waste which can be disposed at the Toxic dump site. If you think that is a problem just know I have a guarantee Toxic Full of Bologna clause that comes with each of your Toxic Bologna product. The Toxic Hot Dog is both biodegradable and is only made up of 10% of the toxic waste that makes it such an entertaining item. It barks, meows, glows in the dark so you can find it at night, it is green so you know Sesshoumaru will love it, and it can talk.
“What do you mean it can talk? I don’t want that thing talking back to me. My kid does that enough not to mention that fox brat. To say it is safe I think you are full of it.”
Why yes Inuyasha I am proud to say I am proud to be a sponsor for Toxic Full of Bologna and I am indeed full of it since I love this company that much. It has made me millions.
“Let me guess it is a government product.”
Yes it is Inuyasha. It has politicians written all over it. How else do you think it got its name plus of course the fact that it is 100% Toxic Oscar Myer brand Bologna. Even that company is full of Bologna just ask them to spell it out for you and guess what! They will!
“So what you are saying is that this….. Whatever………you can buy now and it is full of bologna just like you?”
Indeedy so Inuyasha. It is.
“Monk I thought you were full of it, now I know that it wasn’t just bullshit.”
We don’t sell bullshit Inuyasha and even if it looks like crop circles I am not into that kind of artistry. It stinks. We sell Bologna, the toxic kind. So hold up the product.
“I can’t believe the things you talk me into.”
Not enough I assure you my friend. Anyway, later we can show you the adult versions of this great product. So go to your local toxic waste dump and just ask for Shady Purple and I shall sell you this for the low black market price of only 1 million yen.
“You are a rip off artist…..a swindler……you really should be arrested.”
Too late for that Inuyasha we are partners and now you are an accessory so just stand there and look pretty. Women love your ears and I know how they like to shop. Look at our wives and our bank accounts. That is why we had to go this route. It takes drastic measures you know. Not to mention Sesshoumaru who will definitely go for this after he opened up that orphanage. What is it with kids and him anyways?
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to know a lot of things he showed me and don’t ask. I am still traumatized and I am now like you. Corrupted and ruined for life.”
Kouga is nice to me so shut it. It could be worse. We could have been stuck with Jakotsu still after you and me.
“Oh get me a barf bag now………I would rather be stuck with my overly beautiful asshole brother then a dead dude who wanted to be a woman.”
Hey you were the one who wanted a dead woman, he was just offering.
“Don’t push it monk or I will shove my sword up your…….”
Ok already. Still hold up the product and do that thing with your ears.
“I am not going to make them dance for this shit. Just hurry up with the damn commercial.”
Ok, don’t get your hakumas in a twist.
“There, happy now. Stupid monk.”
Yes, that is much better. Like I said we will catch the toxic cat dog later and try something else with it. All it will do is glow in the dark. After all I made Jaken eat some and he is fine.
“You made Sesshoumaru’s slave pet frog eat some? Are you nuts? Do you want to die? If anything happens to Jaken I am pointing to you since I get blamed for enough shit around here.”
That is fine, he was fine. He just glows in the dark. That was the only side affect and Sesshoumaru likes that since now he knows where to throw rocks and also if he needs a place to wipe his feet when he comes home he doesn’t have to look around for Jaken. He knows where he is at all times. Remember he has that ‘I am a Demon Lord, Ruler of Everything and I don’t need your stinking help you pathetic weaklings attitude’ even if we both know he would be lost without us.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention our Toxic Salami products for men.
“A male only product, it is about fucking time.”
Well a woman could play hide the salami with this non gender specific product, but right now we want to appeal to the men.
“Keh, whatever. Like I need anything like that. My salami is just fine and I had no complaints. It tastes good, has a nice texture, and is long. It is great for dipping and if you stroke it your hands will smell good for hours.”
Inuyasha you can’t do that with toxic salami.
“No shit, so why do you want to sell something to men that is toxic? It is hard enough for men to keep their salami to themselves when it is normal. Making it toxic makes people want to run from it. Then again they wouldn’t keep stealing mine so go ahead.”
Well men are you tired of short salami that never lasts? Are you sick of people eating your crackers and ignoring your delicious long shlong of salami that is mouth watering to the taste? Do women shun you because your salami just doesn’t cut it anymore? Well come to the realm of the Toxic Full of Bologna for men section. Yes now that you are a man we can give you the perks of a huge salami you can be proud of. Inuyasha take out your salami and show them how big the toxic thing is.
“Man this thing is heavy and long. I can hardly lift the thing Miroku. I don’t know how anyone could get their mouth around this sucker. Are you sure that it is safe to have me pulling stuff out like this? I mean people could be watching us.”
Will you quit dragging it on the ground. Damnit Inuyasha. Now it is all dirty. Well, still it looks manly like that so just hold it like it is an extension of yourself and your manliness.
“Like this?”
Ya, man it makes me hungry. Do you have any more left of your normal salami?
“Duh, I have a huge salami right here although I wish this one wasn’t toxic.”
Ya I know. I could eat that all day long.
“I know what you mean. So are we done now you full of bologna monk?”
Yes you can put it down now.
“Thank Buddha. I thought you would never finish. Now I have to tell my brother where I was all afternoon you jerk.”
What are you going to tell him?
“Keh, the usual. You know, some fucked up full of bologna story what else?”
Good that is what I am going to tell Sango and Kouga. You know Inuyasha we are really good salesmen.
“Ya when it comes to being full of something we take the bologna.”
Don’t you mean cake?
“Keh no, shut up Miroku.”
Fine I won’t correct you again. Here let me help you carry the toxic salami.
“Damnit Miroku quit touching my Salami! I am a man and I can handle it myself!”
Sure, keep telling yourself that Inuyasha, but some things need two hands and I am only trying to help.
“Miroku if you do not keep your hands off my salami I will make your groping problem go away for good. Damn monk has to fondle salami all day long then wants to touch mine. Fucking bastard.”