Guys Look At What They Are Doing

Guys Look At What They Are Doing

Inuyasha was walking around doing non gay things unlike his brother and Kouga. He wasn’t getting stuck in trees. He wasn’t fighting with Kagome cause they don’t fight, Kagome is just wrong. He was actually for once minding his own business when he got pulled behind a bush by the wandering pervert monk who just happened to be his best buddy.

“Hey check it out Inuyasha.”

Miroku stated pointing at the hot springs.

“What if I don’t want to? You know I have seen them a thousand times.”

Inuyasha stated with a shrug since he wasn’t into this sneaking business anymore. Damn he had been married to Kagome long enough to have seen it all for the rest of his life. He had been on her ‘internet’ and lately the only thing that came to mind was cake farts which totally grossed him out. Humans were just disgusting. They acted like animals except animals wouldn’t fart on a perfectly good cake. They would have eaten it; gotten sick because chocolate is poison for dogs plus probably all the other animals out there so maybe it was just that half naked girl’s warning message. Who knows?

“No dude, you have to see this. You won’t believe it.”

Kouga suddenly showed up and nudged the monk aside.

“Hey mutt face, make room here.”

Inuyasha growled at Kouga.

“Shut up ya wimpy gay wolf. Go make out with my brother or something you sick perv. What are ya doin’ here anyhow? I thought you were too in loooooooooovee with Sesshoumaru to associate with real men.”

Kouga snorted at Inuyasha.

“You know you have mental issues Inuyasha. Get over yourself. I told ya we did that to gross you out and it worked. Now shut up and let me see.”

Inuyasha slammed Kouga to a tree growling lowly.

“I didn’t give you permission to look at my mate bathing!”

Miroku rolled his eyes.

“Will you two shut up and get over here. You are not looking right Inuyasha. You obviously need glasses or something.”

Inuyasha snarled.

“I told ya Miroku I didn’t want to look already. I have seen them naked a billion times.”

Sesshoumaru wandered over and stood by Miroku.

“Oh, so they are doing that again. How interesting, I didn’t think humans were capable.”

Inuyasha turned white and grasped his brother away from the site where Miroku was looking.

“Look Sesshoumaru, don’t get any funny ideas. You are gay, those are women, and you are not interested in them. Now go with Kouga and don’t hurt yourself on the way back to the castle.”

Sesshoumaru shoved Inuyasha’s hands off of his person.

“Look half breed if you ever touch me again in such a way…………”

Inuyasha sighed.

“I know you will rape me……..but you have to get over this faze you are going through. You just are not meant to be straight and I am your half brother remember. We are related so it is not right for you to harbor these feelings for me. You will have to move one. We all got over it a long time ago. Now go make out with Kouga and be on your way.”

Sesshoumaru looked insulted and Kouga frowned.

“What can I say except the mutt is an idiot; he doesn’t know what the crap he is talking about.”

Inuyasha attacked Kouga for that one as they fought Sesshoumaru wandered over to the monk.

“So do you have that problem all the time or is it just common with my brother? I mean there really isn’t anything for him to be having a fit about.”

Miroku sighed at Sesshoumaru.

“See the thing is my Lord that Inuyasha normally just wanders around playing with himself and ignoring the rest of the world. He really needs to get out more often. I mean look at what they are doing. It is going to make life much more convenient for us all. I mean I could watch this all day long and never have to worry about leaving home. I get the full effect right here and when we get down there we can really use it to our advantage. I can’t wait to see lesbians up close. I want to get the whole personal feeling of it all. I am sure Sango will be ok with it.”

Inuyasha started yelling at Kouga.

“Call me an idiot! I ain’t the one who had my tail stuck in a tree stump full of sap after you did things with my gay brother I don’t want to know about!”

Kouga yelled back.

“I keep tellen ya that you’re a moron Inuyasha. He ain’t gay and you are an idiot. You don’t even know what is going on even when it is in front of your face!”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“Will you two shut up and get over here. They are almost done and you are going to miss it all.”

Inuyasha yelled back.

“What do you mean he ain’t gay? He is too! Liars! Otherwise…………….Sesshoumaru don’t you be looking at my wife you supposed to be gay jerk!”

Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha by his ear over to the edge of the cliff.

“Someday I am really going to drop you on your head. Maybe then your brain will not be so addled. Now look and tell me what you see.”

Inuyasha looked down the mountain afraid of what was down there since the pervert always saw some naked woman bathing even if it wasn’t theirs. Usually it was though.

“Oh……….damn………that is fricking awesome! We should get closer.”

Inuyasha went to go down the hill when all the guys held him back.

“Don’t disturb them! Damnit you idiot mutt……….. Do you want them to stop? I think I am almost getting turned on by this.”

The three guys nodded agreeing. This was the greatest thing since lesbians. The guys of course talked about lesbians a lot. There was just something great about two women loving one guy while loving each other while loving them since guys need love too.

“You know we can watch those hot lesbians all the time now by the hot springs. I mean not ones we are married to because, well that is just wishful thinking on our part.”

Kouga nodded since he was now mated to Ayame. They figured out things so three of them talked about hooking each other up except the fact they would kill each other if it really happened because no one touched their women especially some dumb ass friend. Well cause then they wouldn’t be friends anymore, not that they liked each other that much or anything gay like that.

“I have been with lesbians. Voyeurism is normal, but it is not as entertaining or stimulating. Having sex with them is better especially two cat demon females. They know how to really make this old dog howl. It is much better than watching and the term for that is bisexual. In fact I have been with more than that many women at one time. I wonder if more will be showing or if you can do a royal on demand order kind of thing for one such as myself so you can watch them all at the same time plus get that front row seat without getting out of the water. I think they really should come to me since I am their superior. It is their solemn duty to please me.”

Sesshoumaru stated matter of fact. Inuyasha, Kouga, and Miroku wanted to ask. Then they changed their minds. Perhaps they were only dressed like women. Of course then Inuyasha had to ask.

“Now big brother, you know you can be honest amongst you male friends and family here. You can tell us the truth. They were men dressed as women weren’t they or those dual gendered bastards. What did you call them? Hippogriffs?”

Kouga fell on the ground laughing his ass off. Miroku coughed then laughed into his robes while Sesshoumaru just stood there looking at Inuyasha like he was the speck of dust under his boot and to Lord Sesshoumaru his little brother probably was.

“Inuyasha. Do not speak anymore. Your stupidity hurts my heritage. To think our Great and Powerful Father sired you is indeed the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to the Inu Nation.’
“They are called hermaphrodites and even if I have had the pleasure of one of their kind I am not telling you anything. I am bisexual for the billionth time. Do you know what that means little brother? Do you need me to show you since with you it takes actual physical knowledge to understand such things?”

Inuyasha turned white and whimpered like a puppy trying to give Sesshoumaru his best puppy dog eyes cowering in fear as his brother advanced on him.

“No….please don’t hurt me…….I don’t want to know.”

Sesshoumaru had enough. Picking up Inuyasha he carried him off into the forest with the hanyou cussing and screaming in horror that he was going to get raped.

“So Kouga should we save him?”

Miroku asked a bit worried about his best friend.

“No way in hell. Inuyasha will learn one way or another. Besides Ayame and I had fun with Sesshoumaru. Let Inuyasha figure it out and enjoy himself while he is at it. He is the one always talking about everyone being gay. It is about time he just admits he is bi and gets over it like the rest of us right pal?”

Miroku looked at Kouga like he was nuts.

“Ummmm I don’t swing that way wolf.”

Kouga shrugged and looked a bit confused.

“Well with the way you were staring at that guy putting in our cable by the hot springs I figured you had a thing for plumber’s cracks. I mean he ain’t bad, but a bit on the heavy side for my tastes. But, hell to each their own right?”

Miroku turned red.

“I am a man of the cloth mind you.”

Kouga laughed patting him on the shoulder.

“That is why I thought you were like us buddy. You know the choir boys get harder for you to resist as they get older. You know Buddha would understand so you can tell me. I am your friend monk. No one else is here.”

Miroku rolled his eyes.

“I am Buddhist not Catholic. That is those Christian fanatic freaks that are running all over the place trying to ‘save’ people that are blasphemers against Buddha who enlightens us all.”

Kouga cocked his head to the side and then shrugged.

“Still, you are a priest and a pervert. How can you be both without being like……well both?”

Miroku backed away as Kouga advanced on him.

“It happens……….not all of us are blessed to be into what you are Kouga……..I mean Prince Kouga…..Why are you looking at me like that?”

Kouga smirked wildly he had a terrific idea.

“Hey, you are one of my best friends too Miroku so I will help bless you and show you what you are missing. We are buddies so it is good right?”

At that Miroku took off and Kouga chased him all over the forest soon initiating him to the ‘error’ of his pervert ways. How could he be a full blown pervert if he didn’t know how to do it all the way? So Kouga helped fix that problem and it made the wolf Prince feel much better that his newest friend with benefits would now understand the whole deal.

Needless to say Inuyasha and Miroku were never able to look at another man again without holding their neither assets nor walk straight again. If one was to accuse one then one became aware of who to accuse and when or face the consequences.

“Stupid cable channels. Stupid Sesshoumaru. I can’t fucking believe that incest freak perv mated me. Sicko. All for my lands like I have any. You told me you owned them all Sesshoumaru! I own nothing duh and to show me that it is ok to be bi. Ya if you ride a bicycle. Get your arm off of me ya jerk.”

Sesshoumaru kept his arm around Inuyasha and Kagome as they watched cable now from the hot tub. Rude awakenings are not for the timid at heart and as always Inuyasha will be sure to watch as well as wash his ass while watching ESPN. It is what the guys watch when they are watching out for each other.

“Believe me Inuyasha, after a while it will be just like riding one of those contraptions without the seat for you. You will get over it and come to beg for me later just like all the others.’
“You don’t know how to run lands so it is good that I will be here to teach you and rule them for you. Eventually when you become an acceptable Lord you may rule them with me as long as I still get main control. You are just a pup still so this will teach you something new.”

Kagome looked at Inuyasha.

“Is he serious? I thought this was just for a one night stand?”

Inuyasha frowned.

“Damn it woman, shut up. You know he is always serious and this is his excuse for not having to go find a mate since it was my job apparently to find one for him. Just ignore him like I will and hope he goes away. Believe me he will become bored with us in about a hundred years or so. It isn’t going to be a problem. Besides, I don’t want to learn anything new. This last lesson made it so I can’t sit right for months. You want him to do that to you woman? I don’t think so, so be quiet before he starts getting more ideas to torment us with.”

Sesshoumaru smirked knowing better as Kagome turned white wanting to crawl into a hole. Mated to two assholes and they both would kill her with their ridiculous arguments over the remote control as well as who was going to have her for the night. Neither could share. Life sucked and she was pregnant with Inuyasha’s pup. She didn’t come back to the damn feudal era to be a brood mare.

“Don’t worry Kagome we will only pup you for a few years. You will not live long like we shall. Inuyasha will be the one to suffer not you. You are just a temporary relief for me. Consider this a privilege since how many peasant humans are mated to wealthy demon Lords? I find you attractive for a human so you will do although my pups will be born like Inuyasha without his foul mouth. His pups will have a suitable sire to teach them to speak and act as proper royal pups rather than the crude way that you two act. You are both children in some ways to me so I shall make you behave like adults. You will thank me for it.”

At that Kagome huffed, stole the remote and watched Barney as she drowned the thing so they couldn’t change the channel walking out of the hot springs grumbling about men and their warped personalities. Watching cable guys, watching builders, what these guys needed was a fucking garage so she could have a normal life without them bothering her or the pups warping them with their male nonsense. Lesbians were not the answer to man’s problem no matter what any of these idiot males said.

Fishing out the remote and using his tensaiga Sesshoumaru fixed it changing it from the horrible channel to something entertaining.

“What is her problem? I just gave our weak frail human female mate a compliment. I guess I must be more gentile with human women. They do not understand their place. I must fix this.”

Inuyasha shrugged since Sesshoumaru would do as he saw fit anyway so Inuyasha was just used to being ordered around by Kagome and Sesshoumaru. As long as he wasn’t being sat life was ok and as long as Sesshoumaru could do what he promised getting those beads off he would put up with the other shit too. Being sat hurt.

Miroku and Kouga joined them with Miroku trying to hide on the other side of Inuyasha feeling rather violated for the fifteenth time.

“Women……I don’t get it either Sess.”

Kouga then perked up as he ignored the monk who was trying to sit comfortably with difficulty.

“Get over it Miroku. If I have to suffer this jerk just consider yourself lucky that Kouga ain’t so big. He is a wimpy wolf who probably has the size of a mushroom for a dick.”

Sesshoumaru smirked laughing at that as Kouga pulled off his loin cloth.

“It is not. It is just not happy yet. I don’t see yours getting any bigger than a pin Inuyasha. It looks like a fucking shriveled white raisin to me.”

Miroku bust up at that except then the three demons looked at him.

“Well, what have you got Monk?”

Kouga smirked.

“Ya, show them my little sweet cheeks.”

Miroku looked down.

“This is far from fair. We are all in the water so what is the point? It isn’t going to change anything and no I don’t want to see anyone else change before my eyes. I am completely raped, broken, and my ass is ruined. I have decided I hate all of you. Sango and I are moving to where men don’t get chased around the forest by crazy wolves.”

Kouga smiled and shrugged.

“Miroku you are my mate so you can’t so quit crying and get over it. Inuyasha did….I mean you are finally? What I am trying to say is…are you gay or like us….”

Inuyasha roared.

“I don’t want to talk about it! I have not become gay and I am not happy! I am scarred for life, molested, raped, and abused by this asshole. I have been forced to share my mate with him. He sucks although……never mind that shit! He ruined me too so shut up monk.”

Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha into his arms then on his lap.

“Well little one next time you won’t question me. Either way this takes care of my problem with mates and later I will even let you help me choose a female once yours dies. See life is not that bad Inuyasha. I can no longer hate you. You are no longer scum under your Lord’s boots. You are now almost my equal. Does that not make you glad I chose you? We will make other times not so unpleasant. You should not have fought and relaxed when I told you to. That was your fault not mine. I received great pleasure from you and you will from me. You will find me to be a very accommodating mate although I will not be held off. You will cease fighting me or I will make you even more miserable.”

Kouga hurried to put a hand over Inuyasha’s mouth as he was ready to scream obscenities along with a bunch of other things that would just get him in more trouble.

“Unless you want him to show you the error of your ways Inuyasha shut up. Now Miroku get over here and watch the TV. They are lesbians see. I told you that you would get to see naked women other than our females. Cable is the best.”

Men………who love women……who love each other…….who love men……….watching stuff…….this is what life is about in the feudal time. End of line……