The Real Reason Inuyasha Hates Sesshoumaru

Inuyasha hopped into bed. It had been a long day at work killing demons and stuff. It was totally gay that he had to go out of his way like Kagome wanted him to so that he would save some dumb ass human.

A gentle hand woke him.

“Hey gorgeous it is time to wake up.”

He felt something groping things that shouldn’t be doing that.

“What the hell are you doing Kagome? I ain’t in the mood. Damn woman, ever since we got married and you got pregnant you can’t leave my ass alone.”

The hand fumbled with his hakumas and that was it. He had enough as he grasped a hand that had a purple kimono attached to it?

“What the fuck?”

Miroku was fondling his ass and he wasn’t asleep this time dreaming of Sango.

“Miroku get the fuck off of me you sick letch!”

Miroku went to kiss Inuyasha and got whacked across the room. Then he started crying.

“Inuyasha how could you do this to your mate! We just got married you jerk! I can’t believe after the passionate night we shared that you could forget everything!”

Inuyasha looked at Miroku like he lost his fricking mind.

“What the fuck are you talking about you drunk monk! I am mated to Kagome!”

Miroku looked totally disgusted.

“You are trading me in for that bitch! You! You! Bitch! After all I gave up for you!”

Inuyasha shook his head wondering what the fuck got into his best friend as Miroku took off out of the hut crying like a woman and even was running like one. Then he heard a voice from behind. A very sinister low disgusting, yet familiar voice that he despised with every fiber of his being.

“Oh good, you got rid of HIM….I never thought we would have the chance to be alone lover.”

It was Naraku and the bastard was naked?

“Naraku? What the fuck? You are supposed to be dead.”

Naraku looked hurt grasping his chest dramatically.

“I can’t believe you would forget me after all the dressing up I did for you. I even wore that skirt and table danced just for you Inuyasha. Now I am in love with you. Leave Miroku and be my love slave. I will even tie you up like last time.”

Inuyasha got up.

“Look you fucking bastard. There was no last time and there was not time before that. I am married to Kagome! Do you hear me you soon to be dead idiot! I love women!”

Naraku looked completely devastated.

“But Inuyasha, you told me I was your true love. Did you forget? I even had your babies so you wouldn’t have to.”

Holding up a mirror image of Inuyasha in baby form Inuyasha about passed out when Naraku also ran off crying like a woman and running like one except first he ran into the wall of the hut.

Inuyasha had to get the fuck out of here before something even worse happened. He took off into the forest when a clawed hand grasped him by his throat.

“Little brother. I see you still do not pay attention to where you are going. You are indeed a true half breed not to notice my scent.”

Sesshoumaru stood acting all arrogant and bossy like usual. At least someone was acting normal.

“Sesshoumaru thank the gods you are here! Everyone has gone insane!”

Sesshoumaru looked around them.

“Oh, you are alone little brother. Thank god. I hate your pack.”

At that Sesshoumaru landed a passionate kiss on Inuyasha as Inuyasha sputtered screaming obscenities.

“What the hell are you doing Sesshoumaru? Are you nuts!”

Sesshoumaru batted his long eyelashes at Inuyasha and was doing really good making himself look very pretty.

“Oh god, do not tell me you are gay too. Not that I didn’t think you weren’t before, but hell Sesshoumaru I am your brother for heaven’s sake. Have some mercy. I am your kid brother so please don’t scar me for life.”

Sesshoumaru threw off his kimono top.

“Come now Inuyasha. This is nothing new for us. Take off your clothes Damnit all and let’s get it on. I haven’t got all day. I have to get back to Rin and Jaken.”

Inuyasha screamed like a woman trying to run away as he woke up in Sesshoumaru’s arms with Sesshoumaru trying to push him away.

“Go lay on your own side of the room half breed. Are you gay? I am sick of you cuddling up to me like that. You are grossing me out and next time I am going to cut you in two.”

Sesshoumaru growled as he shoved Inuyasha to the floor after punching him in the gut.

“Oh thank god you are normal Sess. I had the worst nightmare.”

Sesshoumaru looked daggers at Inuyasha.

“I don’t want to hear nor do I care. You kept me up all last night with your screaming and moaning. If you don’t shut it I will remove your lips from your face.”

Inuyasha got up from the floor.

“Damn Sess, you woke up on the wrong side of the den today didn’t you.”

Climbing into his furs he went to fall asleep only to see Kouga lying there wearing only a fur loin cloth.

“Damn it Inuyasha, do you have to steal all the blankets all the time. I swear the pups are never going to grow up normal with you around as their Father.”

Rolling over Kouga was big pregnant with boobs.

Inuyasha thrashed screaming in his sleep until Sesshoumaru punched him in the face to wake him.

“Will you quit that racket! Rin is trying to sleep you half breed mutt! I don’t know why I let Kagome kick you out of your hut and let you bunk up here.”

Inuyasha shook his head from the punch.

“Hey Sess, you aren’t gay are you?”

Sesshoumaru looked at Inuyasha like he might just kill him right then.

“No you fool I am not homosexual. Perhaps you are. Shut up and go to sleep.”

At that Inuyasha sighed feeling much better until he rolled over.

“Hi sugar…….”

Jaken was there wearing a bra and a g string in his bed.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh god someone kill me! My eyes! Poke out my eyes!”

Kagome woke Inuyasha up since he was moaning, screaming, clawing the floor, and shaking in fear.

“Inuyasha are you ok?”

Inuyasha woke up in a fetal position holding Kagome.

“Kagome, oh man I had the worst dream. Please just hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok.”

Kagome ran her fingers over Inuyasha’s hair.

“You know Sesshoumaru isn’t going to like me doing this.”

Kagome stated as Inuyasha huffed a keh out.

“Who gives a rat’s ass what that gay bastard thinks? He and Kouga are probably getting it on as we speak since the two of them are both jerks. Jerking off with each other……fucking bastard sickos I just know that guy wears a fur skirt because he is really gay. I hate them. Let’s not talk about them ok?”

Kagome sighed.

“But Inuyasha, you are Sesshoumaru’s mate and you are going to have his pups any day now. I really shouldn’t be touching you?”

Inuyasha laughed.

“Kagome that isn’t even funny. Don’t joke about shit like that.”

Kagome then lifted his kimono top. He was huge and he had boobs!

“What the fuck! Oh please tell me I am dreaming; please tell me I am dreaming. If I click my heels three times I will be out of this dream.”

This time Inuyasha felt real claws. Then blood down his side.

“Inuyasha if you ever touch my person like that in your life again I will indeed kill you.”

Sesshoumaru stated as Inuyasha woke up next to him. Inuyasha scooted away as fast as he could from his older brother smelling then tasting the blood. He even pinched himself to see if this was a bad dream yelping in the process.

“Why the fuck am I here? Where is my pack?”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“You are an imbecile aren’t you Inuyasha? Your pack is back at the village. We are hunting and I only wanted you to come since I hate your humans. I am only here because I provide for Rin and I don’t want to go back there. You are taking our meat back. I swear you used to do this to me when you were a child and I am going to seriously kill you. I am not gay. I will have my female soon and if you do not quit doing that cuddling shit at night just because you like my tail I will make sure you don’t have any more offspring. Now go to sleep.”

Inuyasha went back to his furs and double checked the area. He walked around the camp a few times and fell asleep. He now understood why dogs have to do that.

“By the way Inuyasha…….”

Sesshoumaru stated in a low dangerous voice.

“Yes Sesshoumaru?”

Inuyasha asked kind of afraid he might roll over and see something he didn’t want to.

“I hate you. If you ever call my beautiful again I will kill you. I am not a woman and I do not like my body being stroked. Perhaps you are the one who is gay.”

Inuyasha frowned and looked at Sesshoumaru growling.

“I am not!”

Sesshoumaru smiled wickedly.

“Then don’t ever touch my nether regions like you did unless you really want me to turn tables on you. I am bisexual. You would do good to remember that little brother.”

Inuyasha knew if the nightmares hadn’t scared him for life Sesshoumaru just did. He would never sleep again especially while his brother was near nor bathe with that bastard around. He had and now he was worried.

“Sess please don’t tell me you looked at me like that when we bathed together.”

Sesshoumaru just smiled knowing this would torment Inuyasha all night more than any other thing he could do to his little brother. He for once was going to get the best night’s sleep he ever had while he had his little brother play guard duty all night long.

“Sess? Sess…….hello…….”

Inuyasha huddled into himself. He was terrified and would never look up to his big brother again. The guy was a perv. He had to be. He looked didn’t he? Well didn’t he?

“Sess….tell me you didn’t look…….come on Sess quit playing…………You really didn’t look….You are sadistic you know that Sesshoumaru? Sess? Please wake up…….please…….”