Shove it up my ass

Title: Shove it up my ass
Author: Saraste
Pairing: inumir
Rating: R
Warnings: misuse of a zucchini plant
Wordcount: 963
A/N: I blame my sister for this, btw, her and our vegetable plot. And that one Naruto crack oneshot doujin page containing a ccumber, zucchini and a baseball bat. I wrote veggie porn! My new ot3, Inuyasha, Miroku and the zucchini! This threatened to become hardcore pwp crack but didn't quite make it.

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Miroku spanked Inuyasha with the item in his hand. Not too hard to damage their plaything but hard enough to wrench a most delicious near growled moan from his hanyou lovers lips.

“Ohh, Miroku! Harder!” the hanyou writhed in his lap, wanting and needing more contact. That last spank had been near a touch of the item on his bottom.

Miroku gently palmed his ass, flicked his wrist and let his palm descend on the bottom waiting for it. “Now now, can't, you know I can't. If I spank you too hard, it'll ruin it and the fun we'll have after...”

Inuyasha looked at him with a pout. But looking at the item, a certain green and thick vegetable, in his lovers hands, he submitted to the truth. The zucchini in Miroku's hand would not suffer harsh use in spanking without breaking. Which would mean he wouldn't have the opportunity to enjoy it being stuffed up his ass. And that simply wouldn't do. Wouldn't do at all. Needed to have it in him.

They'd argued about who got to go first and he'd won. He was not going to let the opportunity to go to waste and relinquish this chance, or his place as being the first to go as Miroku seemed wont to deny him.

Miroku rolled the zucchini all over Inuyasha's round cheeks, he was anticipating this as much as his lover. To see how much Inuyasha would loose control, or even if he could manage to fit the big vegetable inside his passage. He grinned wickedly and set the zucchini aside and began to knead the flesh of Inuyasha's bottom.

There was a sound of protest from the hanyou.

“Hey! Where'd my spanking go! Want my spanking!” he raised his voice. He always loved Miroku spanking him. That beaded hand coming down on his ass, hard and unrelenting. But still almost a sweet caress. The threat it posed always so thrilling, the feel of the beads meeting his flesh in swift strokes, leaving indents on his skin, always so good. Making it all go to his groin and his dick hard and leaking, begging for the sweet release.

Miroku chuckled, his hand gripping the side of the hanyou's thigh tightly and spanked. Hard and swift, the way his pretty liked it. His rosaried hand, his curse, descended over the bottom he so loved to fondle and painted it an arousing shade of red. Inuyasha moved against him, his erection digging into Miroku's thigh.

“Naughty naughty...” Miroku murmured, his hand at last stilling and coming down over the abused flesh in a real caress. He could feel the heat on his palm. Perverse. He palmed the ass in his hands and probed around the small opening. Inuaysha hissed and tensed a bit. It was always so acute, that first time when Miroku's fingers would brush over him there, such an aphrodisiac. His nerves screaming in pleasure, his release almost coming then and there.

“Move a bit, lift your hips. I want to taste you...”

Inuaysha almost scrambled to oblige. He lifted his ass up in Miroku's lap as the monk bent down.

His tongue licked along the seam, circling and finally coming to where he wanted to be. He shoved in roughly, earning a moaned curse. He tasted the essence which was Inuyasha's. Burying his face on Inuyasha's ass he let himself immerse into his task, humming contentedly.

Finally he let Inuyasha drop back into his earlier position. He needed more than tongue to loosen him up properly. First one oil slicked finger entered his inu's ass, then another followed with ease. A third stretched and the fourth was almost a bit too much. He avoided that one spot he knew would make Inuyasha howl. That was for later.

He finally took the zucchini and hefted it on his hand. It seemed too much to fit inside that tight passage. Too obscene to breach without causing considerable pain to his lover.

“You really want to do this?” he asked Inuaysha, suddenly concerned.

“Just stuff it up my ass, will you, houshi!” was the gruff, panting reply he got.

Coating the vegetable with oil Miroku prepared. Then he pressed the slimmer end of the thing against Inuyasha's hole. And pushed it in.

It was unlike nothing Inuyasha had ever experienced. Miroku went slow on him but it was still almost excruciating. It stretched him so wide it was painful. He whimpered at the intrusion but refused to let Miroku stop when he asked if he should. He would not back down now. Inuyasha focused himself and anchored his thoughts on the feel of Miroku's body under his, the coarse texture of his robes and the heat of the body underneath.

Filled to the brim, he shuddered.

And as Miroku moved the thing and changed the angle just so. Oh yess, that was it. The pain lessened, leaving behind a fullness which tingled through his body.

There were no more words, just his pleas for Miroku for harder, faster, which soon receded to high pitched moans and screams. He'd never felt this possessed. So submissive. This was way better than having that staff up his ass, way better. As Miroku hastened in his movements the thing began to slowly soften inside his body. And that just made him loose it.

Inuyasha howled out his orgasm, soiling Miroku's dark robes with his seed. He'd let the perversion take him to a place he hadn't been before. Somewhere where he thought Miroku would like. Like very much indeed. But he didn't think that as he shuddered on Miroku's lap. He was still blown away by his violent orgasm.

“You wanna go now?” he asked when he'd regained his breath, the zucchini still stuck up his ass.