I already know...

I wake up in the night. Normally I sleep soundly, regardless of where we are, and for a moment I wonder why I am awake. Then Ayame turns next to me, and the moonlight glimmers on her breast. Oh.


Daddy isn't here yet.


I watch the moon for a little while, the night is cool, and somewhere, on the way to this castle Daddy is sleeping alone. Without me. I don't like that. I don't like when Oniisama takes me away and leaves Daddy to get here on his own.

And Ayame sleeps with me, but it isn't the same.


I wish I could be angry with my brother, but instead I am sad for him. He thinks he has to compete with my Daddy, but he doesn't. He's my brother. He's special to me. But because I don't choose him...well, I can't help how he feels.

But I don't like my Daddy being alone.


I don't like being alone.


I slip out of my bed, wrapping my sleeping kimono more tightly around me, and then take a moment to rub my fingers over Ayame's nipple. Soft and brown. I do love my body servant. So does Daddy.


I pad with soft feet on cold stone floors until I reach my brother's room, and I scowl at the guard who makes as though to stop me. I let my youkai scare him though, with blood red eyes and youkai marks on my usually bare face, and he remembers suddenly that I am not just a stupid half blood, but the Lord's own brother, and he scampers away. We like that. Usually we don't like to scare people, but youkai are different. Specially those who work under my brother. My brother is many things, but he tolerates no disrespect of any kind. Those who first treated me badly when he brought me here...were executed painfully.

I know he thinks it is because of his pride, and his power. Our father's blood. But he's wrong.

My brother loves me.

I can tell because I climb into bed with him, and one eye opens at me. But instead of pushing me away, or cursing at me or telling me to go back to Ayame he moves over slightly. And when I sigh and curl up against his warmth, he puts his arm around me.

He can't say the words. He is a pretentious jackass, so Daddy says. He is. He can only be what he is.

But he brings the furs up to cover me, and when my fingers clutch at his silk robe, his fingers stroke my ear. And when I close my eyes, he settles down beside me, his hand gentle on my back, gentle against my scars.

Silly Oniisama.

You don't have to say it. I already know.


Owari