Pieces of Me

Pieces of me are drifting around the countryside as he does.

It feels weird knowing I am not complete. That he is carrying a large part of me, and every time we do what nature intended, I give bits and pieces of my uniqueness, my specialness, my heart to him. Therefore, the spiritual package he holds grows larger with every visit and before I know it, I will be lost. I will become a shell; empty of the life I once enjoyed, full of nothingness, just empty. My body will be lifeless and He is the one who took it from me.

But, as much as I will myself to stop, my body can’t resist the gifts of pleasure He bestows upon me. I crave, and I crave, and I crave for his hot, fiery touch. I yearn for his well-endowed self to pound into my form. I have found a need for his moist, velvety lips to explore my skin. I want him; I need him; I burn for him.

He is addicting.

Why, you might ask, would someone so fortunate to have this heavenly being as a lover, want to resist hot, kinky, fiery sex from him? I will tell you exactly why thoughts of regret, remorse and doubt spring forth from my mind.

It all started a little over one year ago when I was 17.

I was taking my second dip in the hot springs when I heard the ground crunching beneath someone’s feet. My back was facing the intruder, so I didn’t have a clue as to who was really there.

"Sango, join me. It feels so good to get my nerves unraveled after that spat between Inuyasha and Kouga,” my voice drifted through the steam. I didn’t know if she heard me or not until the rustling of fabric and the sound of weaponry clattered on the ground.

I shut my cerulean eyes and sank lower into the steaming, relaxing water as I heard my companion enter.

“Don’t you feel better already? I wish I could do this every day.” I sighed contentedly eyes still shut. Calm waters rippled with a small splash. I assumed she had just dunked her head under the water to soak her hair.

I felt myself drifting into a light sleep when I felt something graze my breasts. It felt as if someone had just licked my girls. I immediate shook off the feeling, disregarding my surroundings. Then, I felt it again. My eyes shot open, scanning the area trying to see if anything was going on with Sango. But to my chagrin, she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Panic took over me as I felt that thing lick from my knee to the inside of my thigh. I yelped and tried to pull myself out of the water, but strong manly hands held me fast to the natural shelf of the spring.

Swallowing a wad of fear down my throat, I slowly dropped my gaze to the water in front of me and “eeped”. Before me were silver silken strands of hair, floating, splayed across the water. The tips tickled the tops of my breasts and my face turned into a tomato color as my eyes traveled the stream of silver to the owner.

There, staring back at me, were sun-kissed orbs shining lustfully against alabaster skin. Maroon stripes pointed towards his smirking lips and water rolled down the navy, blue, crescent moon on his forehead. He was standing naval-deep in the water. Beautifully sculpted muscles rippled and flexed begging my hand to reach out and touch them. If I didn’t know him to be a ruthless, bloodsucking killer, I would have thought he was an angel who had just fallen from the heavens and into my fortunate lap.

Realizing my mouth was hanging wide open like a stupid fish, I tried to speak. The initial shock of him being there with me caused no words to pierce the silence. So, instead, I shut my mouth and listened to the loud beating of my heart.

Finally, words were emitted from my mouth. “Sess-Sesshoumaru?” I breathed in a whisper that could only be heard by the youkai. Ignoring my inquiry, his eyes traveled and drank in the sight of my bareness before him. Realizing this, I dunked lower into the water, crossing my arms over my chest and crossing my legs tightly.

Amusement and lust was apparent in those beautiful eyes and he gently grasped my wrists, pulling them off of my chest in a gentle caring motion. Sesshoumaru held them in a firm but gently grasp. He leaned in, golden suns gazing into cool water. Silken stands danced over my bare shoulders as he whispered, “You are a diamond among rocks. There is no need to hide your beauty from this Sesshoumaru.”

My breath hitched in my throat as he dipped his head and gave me a chaste kiss. I was shocked but instinct drove me to continue lip locking with velvet. It was slow, romantic and even loving. He didn’t make his advances until I nipped at his lower lip and licked it. He immediately pushed his tongue into my cavern and took his time exploring. His was tongue touching every tooth and my tongue battling for dominance.

We clung to each other until I was sure there was no more space left between us. I could feel his hot, slick skin against mine. I could feel the passion behind our deepening kiss, not to mention I could feel his rather large erection against my stomach.

A fire burned within me. It first started out as a small spark, but it grew into a raging fire. Heat burned against my inner thighs. A need to ease the ache in my lower regions erupted into my system; my hand instantly grasped his happy friend and started stroking firmly. Sesshoumaru groaned against my mouth. He picked me up with his one arm and set me along the spring’s edge.

He exited the water; I saw a god in his full glory. My curious eyes watched trails of water intermingled with sweat drip down his pectorals, abs, and down to his penis. Astonishment was written all over my face as I gaped at the length and size. It was large, hard, and begging me to give it my attention. My jaw dropped open and drank in his scorching body and throbbing length.

A sexy smirk was planted on his face at my dumb expression and, with the speed of a demon, he immediately pinned my arms over my head. He licked, nipped and kissed my shoulder and neck, extracting moans from my mouth. Sesshoumaru’s hot breath against my skin sent shivers down my spine. He released my hands and let his hand travel to my mounds. He sucked on one of my caramel peaks while he twirled the taut nipple in the other.

Seeing that I wanted to enjoy the experience of both his talented hands, I channeled my miko energy through the both of us and regenerated his arm. There was no pain, no searing light, just a brand new arm. He held out the new appendage in front of him and examined. He flexed each of his fingers and smiled at me. God, that smile would have stopped a depressed, fat girl devouring ice cream in a blink of an eye. It was so sexy.

“Thank you, priestess for the gift. What a better way to test this gift than to gift you in return?”

A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes as his fingers grazed the top of my stomach, traveling lower. Clawed fingers cupped my ass, and gently played with the lips to my womanhood. He lightly moved his fingers around my lips, occasionally flicking my bud. Then, without warning, he then stuck one finger into me. I gasped at the new feeling of something moving inside me.

It was sensational.

He pumped his fingers slow and deep, allowing me to prepare for the real thing. When he suddenly added two more fingers, I moaned loudly. The sound seemed to entice him, and he sucked the peaks atop my breasts as he pounded the three appendages into my womanhood. Becoming more brazen, I moved against him, wanting more.

Oh, my. It was heaven. The feel of those deadly fingers in me, the feel of his sweet mouth laying kisses across my body, the entire show was utterly erotic. I had made a breathy moan as I felt my inner muscles tighten. It was becoming too much to bear! I bucked against him in a more urgent pace, desperately seeking relief.

The coil that had been winding tightly in my stomach snapped. “Sesshoumaru!” my walls convulsed around his still pumping fingers. After coming down from my high, he took the fingers that were once in me into his mouth, tasting my essence. The sight was just too sexy; a flame rekindled in my lower half.

After he had cleaned his fingers of my juices, he slid down from my body to my core. He parted my lips and kneaded my nub hard while plunging his long, erect tongue into my wetness. He pulled and rubbed my clit, causing my body to go into a frenzy. Gazing into my eyes, he started to draw his tongue in and out. A shudder ran through my body and I threw my head back and moaned. I thrashed about, trying to feel more of him, trying to feel real completion, but he placed a hand on my toned stomach and pinned me to the ground.

The pleasure I felt was amazing. It made me wonder how in the world I had stayed virgin for so long. How could anyone deny something this wonderful? I had then made up my mind that I would have sex more often, but not in a whorish sort of way; hopefully my partner would be the demon that was sucking hard at the jewel between my legs.

I felt myself start to peak, but he pulled his face and limbs away from my body. I whimpered at the loss of contact and my slowly dying climax. After he was sure I had come down from my-almost high, he started licking at my nub. Every time I would almost climax, he would pull away and wait until it died down.

Those actions were downright infuriating! It was complete and utter torture having him leave so abruptly. As he pleasured my again, and again. I started to reach my peak, my hands dove into his silver locks and held his head firm against my sex. “Please. I need you inside me. Please fuck me.”I grabbed his painfully hard cock and gave it a small tug.

He groaned loudly and growled, “Ahh. I see that my little impatient miko is quite the vixen. This Sesshoumaru can grant you this wish only this time.”

Sesshoumaru ripped his engorged cock out of my hand and plunged through my virginity. My scream of painful pleasure from being robbed of my virginity echoed in the springs. I felt my womanly region stretch to great lengths as he nibbled on my neck.

He growled, “So tight little miko. So tight,” as he pushed himself to his hilt. He gave me no time to adjust to his length before he started to drive into me mercilessly with his demonic speed. I lifted my hips to try and keep up with his speed, but he was just too fast. Instead, I wrapped my legs around his waist and clung to his form for dear life. Sesshoumaru’s huge gift had found a sensitive spot and had driven me to chant his name in between moans and squeals.

Thrust after thrust, after thrust. He wildly thrusted into my g-spot particularly hard, I exploded. My vaginal walls clenched in my most mind-shattering orgasm. Stars and white filled my vision, causing me to let out a long, deep moan. But he wasn’t satisfied just yet. He continued to fuck my brains out until I climaxed again. And Again. And Again. He continued to send me to new heights, above and beyond anything I had ever before. Each time I came for him was more powerful than the last.

“Make me give you what you want, bitch! Scream my name like the little bitch you are!”

After finally reaching another mind-blowing orgasm, I screamed his name as a feral growl ripped through the air. I could feel my walls milking him of his seed as he collapsed beside me, panting heavily; his beautifully large piece of candy still inside.

I turned my big, ocean-like eyes to look at his face. It was sweat covered, and his gaze was hidden behind closed eye lids.

He was just too magnificent for words.

I tentatively stroked his chest, which caused him to open his eyes.

“Thank you, Sesshoumaru. Thank you for showing me what the hell I have been missing.” I lifted my head to face him. I looked into his eyes, and we stared at each other for an eternity in each other’s arms.

All of a sudden, he bent down and lifted my ankle to his mouth and nipped it hard enough to draw blood. I had felt the him infuse some magic with the wound. The ending result was a crescent moon mark where the wound was. I looked at him questioningly, waiting for an answer.

He placed a clawed finger under my chin and lifted it slightly to stare even deeper into his eyes. “I love you. I have loved you or at least had been attracted to you the first day I saw you from the sky. Ever since then, I have pursued you and tried to uncover the mystery that is you. That is the reason I have placed this mark on you. This signifies that you are my property, though we are not mated yet.”

I smiled as my heart leapt for joy at his romantic words. Someone loved me, Kagome Higurashi, for me. Someone saw who I really was, who saw what my true worth was. Finally, someone didn’t mistake me for my incarnation Kikyo. Thinking of Kikyo brought Inuyasha into my mind.

Inuyasha. What are my feelings for him? I still loved him, but it is the type of love between siblings. Besides, Inuyasha lost his chance. I was always there, waiting for him, hoping he would claim me as his. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. I waited like an eager starving puppy. I sat there, hoping he would be the one to finally complete my heart, soul, and mind. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Now I am here, in Sesshoumaru’s arms, finally feeling the love I have been seeking from his brother for the past few years. I am finally complete, with someone who loves me and cares for me as much as I do him. I am finally happy.

With this thought in mind, and his warm loving embrace surrounding me, I looked into his eyes and replied, “I love you too, my Sesshoumaru.” I then cuddled even closer to him, leaning my head against his chest. I listened to his steady and rhythmic heart beats and let sleep claim me.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was the time. It was the time I was going to tell my friends what is going on between me and Sesshoumaru. I had held it back too long, and plus they needed to know why I had been gone so much. I had wondered what they’ll say. How will Inuyasha react? Would they approve? Would they turn the other cheek? So many unanswered questions.
I wondered if they will hate me.

No, they aren’t like that! They can’t be like that! They would understand me. Well… at least Sango and Miroku should. I don’t know about Inuyasha. Would he scream at me?

I had arrived at the campsite to find all of them sitting around a fire, waiting. That was weird, it was like they knew what I was about to tell them. I sucked in a large amount of air and marched towards them.

“Hey, Kagome!” Shippo greeted me. “What took you so long?”

Before I had the chance to answer him, Inuyasha spoke, “She was probably off fucking something. She reeks of sex.”

Ok. I deserved that, but at the time my temper got the best of me and I replied, “Yeah, I was fucking somebody. That somebody was your brother, Sesshoumaru.”

All movement ceased, and wide, incredulous eyes turned to me.

Oh shit. That didn’t come out the way I had planned it.

“You-You WHAT?” Inuyasha bellowed. A fire of hatred burned in his amber orbs.

I need to fix this somehow. “Well, you see… funny story actually…”I gave a nervous chuckle. “I was bathing some weeks ago and he kinda just surprised me. Then one thing led to another… and yeah…”

I glanced at Miroku seeing if he would say something like, ‘”My, my, Kagome. You sure are a wildcat in bed aren’t you?”’ but no such light was present on his face. He, like everyone else, bore holes into my body with their hard eyes.

“Why did you do it?” Sango said barely above a whisper.

“He said he loved me, and like I said, it was just spur of the moment.” This was not going well. Not going well at all.

“What about now? Are you still going at it with him?” Miroku continued the interrogation.

“Yes, like I said. He loves me, and I love him.” My breathing was becoming so erratic from the nervousness; I thought I was going to pass out. No, no, NO! Things were not supposed to turn out this way! They were supposed to throw their arms around me and congratulate and ask how it was. They were not supposed to hate me!

“You love him?” The jealousy in Inuyasha’s voice was very obvious. “Feh! You just love fucking him. You know what, Kagome? I think you are a whore, a common, dirty, horny, whore. I just can’t believe you would do this to us! I thought you were different from everyone else, but I was wrong.” He abruptly turned and leapt into a tree. Just like that, he turned his back on me.

Understanding had hit me hard. I could barely breathe. “I-I am just going to go sleep.” I staggered over to my sleeping bag, feeling very woozy. “Shippo, are you going to join me?”

“Umm,” uncertainty was present in his voice “I am going to sleep with Sango.”

“Oh, ok.” My heart was stinging. I felt it tear open just a little bit. To hide my pain I turned away from them, and pulled the cover closer to my chin. I had heard them shuffle farther away from me, like I was a plague. I realized that they had left me, but they had not left me physically. That night, was the beginning of a series of the loneliest nights in my existence.

My heart had bled every single time.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I had been crying again. At the time, the ache between my legs was so immense. I turned my tear-filled gaze to the spot where the soft grass was crushed and the earth was torn. That was the spot where we had made love. Seeing that small area had forced a sob through my throat and brought unbidden thoughts of him and his gentle words and caresses.

“I love you so much, my miko.”

“You will forever be mine, and I yours.”

“I love you more than the lands or the title I hold.”

“I will one day make you my mate, woman, and we will live together in happiness forever.”

I had scoffed at those memories. The lies. “Always and forever.” It was more like for
never. His implied promises were bullshit. He had never truly vowed or promised that any of these things would come true. They were only implied. For I know that when a taiyoukai gives his word, he is honor-bound and would never break it.
He had said those seemingly loving verses so many times I could predict what he was about to say next in my sleep.

It was obvious his actions had never supported his words. Every morning, after we had sex, I would wake up alone. That is the reason for my crying. That is almost always the reason that I cry. Even after my first time, he left me alone, never even saying goodbye. I noticed, too, that he didn’t even call me by my name. It was either: miko, priestess, or woman. And that only made me cry harder.

Oh, Kami. I was so alone in the world

Every night he had come, I had always asked why he wouldn’t take me as his mate. Why he didn’t call me by my name. Why he kept on doing this to me. I had told him that if he really loved me, he would fully make me his. Not just some sort of property with a mark. Then we would argue. Argue about the future and why I couldn’t just be content with my life with him right now. He would then get a little dirty in his game, resulting in angry make-up sex, followed by gentle loving words and shit for balls implied promises.

That is all our relationship had consisted of: sex, arguing, sex, playing dirty, sex, loving phrases, and sex. I could even expect that once I had brought it up again he would give me the same chicken shit answers, pleasure me, and persuade me to have sex again. Sure, the sex was mind blowing, but that wasn’t all I wanted from him. I wanted to be loved and cared for. I wanted to have a happy life with him and bear his children. Was it so wrong to ask to be happy?

Back then it was like I was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to marry, or in this case, be mated with. Even Inuyasha turned the other cheek when he had found out about our relationship. He had said he was still my friend, but he avoided me like some sort of fatal disease. Even my own friends had distanced themselves from me. I had felt so alone in this world.

I wanted to hate Sesshoumaru for the lies he told, for the pain he put me through, but I couldn’t. I had just loved him too much. Even through the pain, I loved him more than the air I breathed, than the water I drank; I loved him more than life itself. I was so afraid he would leave me; I just gave myself willingly, like a little whore.

Yes, I admit it. I was a whore, and I liked it. What a shame.

His actions had continued to puzzle me though. When he said he loved me, I didn’t feel the warm, fuzzy feeling that would spread from my fingertips to my toes. I didn’t see the truth behind it. I felt nothing from him. But I did feel something for him. I felt love. I loved him like a devoted wife should. But when he said, “I love you,” it seemed forced. These thoughts had led me to believe that he never truly love me. He was just putting up an act so he could get laid.

As I contemplated our relationship, I knew he was there watching me. He was watching from a place that was unknown to my eyes. He was trying to hide himself from me, keeping tabs as if I would betray him. As I would deceive him as he does me. As if he didn’t trust me.

Another tear had rolled down my paled face. He was there, watching, studying me like some sort of alien. He was there watching me, not even offering a calloused hand to help me. He was there, knowing he is the stimulus to my actions. He knew. He knew. And yet, he did nothing.

That bastard.

Anger had given me enough energy to pluck my haphazardly dressed self from the tainted ground and walk back to the unwelcoming camp.

*-*-*-*Current time*-*-*-*-*-*

Here I am now, barfing my organs out through my mouth. Oh, look, there is kidney. Hello kidney, I loved you so, but now you are gone, and I blame Sesshoumaru. I am sorry for leaving you, but I have to go now and wash this morning’s meat and bile from my face. This has happened a few days in a row, and I am pretty sure it isn’t from spoiled meat.

I walk to the stream and decide who I should blame for this new turn of events. Was it me or Sesshoumaru? Did he do this to me? Or did I do this to him? Wait, let me rephrase that. Did I make him do this to me? Well, the answer is plain, simple, and very obvious.

This is all Sesshoumaru’s fault. Well, almost all his fault. I still have free will after all, and I could have rejected his touch, but I didn’t so… Yeah, this is his entire fault.

When the hell did this happen? It started maybe seven days ago? Yes, I think so; because that was two days after the last time we fucked like happy, horny bunnies. As usual, the only reason why we screwed like a retard humping a doorknob was because we had a fight again. And it ended in me crying alone. Again.

Damn. My life sucks ass.

I wipe the vomit from my face and call out for Sesshoumaru. “Sesshoumaru? I know that you are there watching me. Come out. You know I am not naïve as my friends presume me to be.”

His regal appearance saunters oh-so casually from the lush vegetation. His head is held high and mighty, as usual, and he stops mere meters before me. I feel his intense gaze on my face as I stare at his chest. Gathering enough courage so my voice wouldn’t break, I speak.

“So, how long have you known?”

He didn’t answer me. His eyes never wavered from the spot atop my head. Feeling impatient, I asked again.

“How long have you known, Sesshoumaru?” my voice rose slightly. I just had a feeling he had known for quite some time, and he didn’t even bother to tell me! That conniving bastard!

But still, he didn’t answer.

“Sesshoumaru, how long have you known about this?!?” I raised my voice high enough to where I knew he would just cringe from the volume. I had to know. I had to know how long he knew. I had to know why the hell he didn’t tell me. I just had to know, damn it!

Still, silence. I turn to leave when his silken voice halts my movement. “It was after the second day that I discovered that I had impregnated you.”

I can feel the sting of realization at his words as they pierce through my anxious thoughts. He knew for this long. He had known for a week, and he didn’t even bother to tell me anything. He didn’t care that I had been losing a good deal of weight, and he didn’t care that I had been emptying my stomach through my mouth. All he cared about was the sex. Tears of sadness and fury cascade down my face. I turn my watering eyes to look at the gold in his.

“ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU HAVE KNOWN FOR A WEEK, AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME? WHY?” I search his eyes for something, anything that would answer my questions. Something that would tell me that he really did love me; that he really did care for the child that he sired.

But alas, those eyes were emotionless. Nothing was there. No sadness, no happiness, no regret, no love… nothing. Just like how I am nothing to him, and that I is what is killing me inside.

I turn once more towards the trees and start running. I run with inhuman speed. I am running away from all the pain, the hurt, and reality. Oh, how the truth hurt so bad. Tree limbs scratch and tore at my clothes. They are little kids teasing me; chanting over and over again that he didn’t love me at all; that he just wanted to use me for his own carnal pleasures.

Rivers flow freely from my eyes, and my bloody legs ache for a break. But I can’t stop. I just can’t. The pain of realization hit me hard earlier, and that was what motivated me to run. It was what causes me to try and sprint towards freedom. Freedom from this nightmare. Freedom to where I would wake up and see Shippo sleeping beside me. See Sango and Miroku cuddled peacefully beside the dying campfire. See Inuyasha keeping a careful watch from his perch in the tree.

I know that those times were part of some stupid, school- girlish fantasy. It would never come true. Good old times would never visit me again. And that causes regret to course through my blood stream. Pain, sadness, loneliness, and regret fuel me to keep on running.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

After countless hours of expelling my energy, my legs and body finally give way to exhaustion. My legs buckle suddenly, causing me to plummet rather painfully into the ground. I spit out the dirt in my mouth and curl into an insecure ball. Now I know how Inuyasha felt when I told him to “sit,” minus the insecurity.

I let myself cry the pain out. I cry until the sun disappears behind the horizon, and darkness shrouds my surroundings. When I cry until no more tears came, I sit up against a tree and let my thoughts drift with the wind. A poem formed in my mind.

I suddenly realized
That this is your Hair
Stuck to my pillow:
The straight, silky, silver
Shafts laying like abandoned
Soldiers on the battlefield.
It is almost reminiscent
Of another time, seemingly
So long ago when I
Cherished finding silvery-white
Cuticles of straight hair in my bed.
Remembering how I
Ran through the thickness of it
With my delighted
Fingers as I caressed the
Man on whom they belonged.
But now, staring at these
Alien Hairs, I am filled
With a vast emptiness,
A soulful sorrow that
Wishes a deeper connection
With these new Hairs,
More than just the
Remembrance and the ecstasy
Of how they got there,
But a hope and a longing
Perhaps for something more
Meaningful and valuable
In a woman's heart,
Foolish as it may be.

And another poem came into mind.

Is it wrong to lie in bed at night
And wish there were a real man by my side?
Is it wrong to want to be held,
Especially in times of loneliness and despair?
Is it wrong to wish for a man to call my mate,
My lover, my companion, and my best friend?
Is it wrong to desire to make love
To a man who would lay down his life for mine?
Is it wrong to desire a true family,
Consisting of a husband, a wife, and children?
There are so many things I want from this life,
Yet it seems that the simplest things have
Slipped from even my most tenacious grasp.
It feels like eons have passed since Him,
The would-be man who gave me my child;
But it feels like eons more will pass
Until my heart and my family will be restored.
Is it wrong to cry for want of a better life,
A better man, a better father for my child?
And is it wrong to know that "the greatest thing you'll
Ever learn is to love and be loved in return"?

I guess it is wrong. After all, here I am, someone who is supposedly selfless and can never harbor any ill will towards someone who has hurt her is now unhappy, is now incomplete. I guess I am meant to be lonely forever. I guess I will never find the happiness I deserve. I feel so tired right now. I don’t think that I can hold on to consciousness any longer. I am going to let sleep wash over me.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I wake up to strong, sturdy arms carrying me through the heavens. I feel like my entire being is finally being set free. It feels good to soar above the clouds and through the stratosphere. I can breathe clean, fresh, high-altitude air.

Wait a second. Did I just think “high-altitude” air? Last time I checked I wasn’t flying above clouds. Last time I checked I was on the cold ground feeling utterly lost and unloved. The emptiness was growing larger because he kept taking, and taking, and never giving anything except this child I am carrying inside me.

Hesitantly, I open my eyes to look at who is carrying me. Something inside me knows who it is, but I prayed to Kami that I was wrong. So, I peak open an eye, and to my horror, my assumption was correct.

The one and only person carrying me was Lord Icicle Ass, aka Too Horny to Think, aka Sesshoumaru. Why in the world do these things keep happening to me? Why am I destined to eat dog shit? Luck just never seems to be on my side.

A strong sense of dislike fills my core, but deep down, buried under the hurt, is the love that burns for him. Something so strong, I can’t even say no to sex. I remember when Hojo would try to make those advances, and I would give a nervous laugh and make up a lame excuse to get away. At least I said no; now look at me, I crave and dream for the mere presence of him. I can’t believe how deep I have sunken. How can I be so stupid?

“Why are you carrying me? Wouldn’t you rather prefer that I, as human filth, sit and sulk? Or do you suddenly have a change in heart? Tell me, why are you doing this to me?” I wait for his answer, but none comes. He just turns that beautiful head of his my way and stares with those sunset eyes. I would melt in them, but I guess I have already built a barrier. “You better answer me Sesshoumaru, or else-“

“Or else you wish for me to assist you in utilizing the ground? Would you prefer to fall to your death than let me carry you? You are foolish indeed,” he says, the tone of his voice lifeless.

“At least I will be able to be in the ground at your feet where all humans belong, milord,” I spit with venom. He will not push me around; he will not get the best of me. I will not stand for this any longer.

“You shall cease that incessant babbling. This Sesshoumaru does not take kindly to foul words against his person.” He turned his head away from me, as if he was trying to avoid me.

“Then drop me. I dare you to toss my body away like you would any other day. Go ahead and do it; nothing is holding you back now, like how I am nothing,” I taunt him, wanting to be released from my hellish prison, the prison I had created.

Don’t get me wrong, I care for my unborn child, but I can’t bear the thought of he or she suffering without a father, without a family, without friends, because he or she is a hanyou. It would be in our best interests if my life ended now, if he wouldn’t have to deal with the future pains and conflicts; the future without a father.

Besides, my theory that he doesn’t give a shit about me will be proven, and I can finally detach myself from him. I may have already seen through the haze of my nativity, but something is still holding on, something won’t let go of Sesshoumaru. I hate myself for feeling such emotions, but I cannot help it.

I plaster on a fake, sweet smile and continue, “It is obvious you don’t really care about me, so just do it. Drop me.”

Still, he doesn’t budge. Stupid, uncaring piece of shit! I know that this is so unlike me, but I have to deliver the low blows. I have to see for myself how much he cares. I doubt he does, he probably just wants to keep me around so he can have his heir. Well, over my dead body! He will not have my son! He doesn't deserve him!

“Why won’t you do it Sesshoumaru? You know as well as I do that you don’t care for the like of me. I was just a fling, a piece of property. You just wanted to control me. You just wanted to keep me to yourself, just like a caged bird. Why are you so eager to keep this caged bird? Don’t you think I have suffered enough? Don’t you even care about how I feel anymore? You used to say you love me, but I can’t help but think that you are a liar. You have no honor, Sesshoumaru! You don’t have anything! Because I know that a real man, with real balls, would keep his promises to the one he claims to love. Apparently, you are not a real man, or youkai for that matter.”

That got his attention. He turns a blood-red, gaze at me, and I feel my blood run as cold as the winds in Antarctica. I can smell and feel the poison dripping from his claws and burning the fabric away from the underside of my body. I am not scared. I want this to happen. I want to be free.

At least then I would be able to float away from the world.

His arms slacken, potent green goo burning away the clothes. He holds me out over the lush, greenery, over the protection of his cloud. Nothing except pure anger radiates from his eyes and stiff movements. The sensations of dangling over the land are overwhelming, but I am not afraid. I am ready, ready to face the end.

Then, everything feels like it is going in slow motion. His fingers slide away from my body, causing it to hurtle towards the earth at an alarming rate. The inner turmoil of my body, struggling to inhale a sufficient amount of oxygen, is causing me to stop breathing. The altitude and force I am traveling at made my eyes glaze over, preparing me for unconsciousness. I see him leaning over his cloud, watching me tumble farther and farther away, closer and closer to the ground. No remorse is present, just a blank expression. I flash him one last smile before the earth swallows me whole.

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A/N- Hahaha. Cliffie. Idk if you will like the way I am treating Sesshoumaru, but hey, not everybody is as perfect as they seem. Got the inspiration from my the battle my sister is having with the bastard of her ex-boyfriend. Read, review, you know the shit.