How the Pain Evolves

Author's Note: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the awesome characters made by the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi.

I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter. Please leave comments or reviews telling me how I've done so far! If you do, I promise to get more story out there as quick as I can! There probably won't be any relationship between the two goofs (besides hatred, of course)until the next chapter, or even the chapter after. I'm the plot kinda gal...it has to hold some sort of coherent story line that might be the slightest bit possible in happening...LoL...ENJOY!!

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‘How long have I been walking…out here…alone…’

Inuyasha…how can you go to her…go to her and know that I’m right there at camp…how could you…

‘I’m so sorry, Kagome…’

Why can’t you open up to me…why won’t you let me into your life…

‘I’m not worth it…look at how I’m hurting you…’

I can’t…I have to go back home, Inuyasha…maybe tomorrow I can…good-bye…

‘Kagome…’

“KAGOME!”

…………………….

A very sodden, very disgruntled-looking figure made its way across a row of boulders, head downcast towards the muddy earth beneath its feet. Inuyasha’s golden eyes were unreadable, cat-slit pupils only mere black lines against dull amber. His white dog ears, normally perked high atop his head and thrust forward confidently, were drawn back against his damp skull, bringing about that appearance of a scolded puppy.

Not that Inuyasha, a stubborn half-demon on a quest to find the missing pieces of the Sacred Jewel Shard, could ever be compared to a scolded animal. Not ever…but especially not today. Today, his anguish was all too human, bringing with it the old hurt that he was not the demon he had always wanted to be…wanted to be but could never achieve.

With a shiver, the hanyou leaped to the interlocking branches above, wanting to seek the ultimate solitude, wanting to be far from any prying eyes, wanting to be alone in his pain. Seeing Kagome, seeing that soft, sad look of defeat upon her delicate face, made him want to scream in frustration. How could he continue to keep Kagome happy, whilst fulfilling his promise to Kikyo…that he would hold her close, never let anything harm her again…it was impossible. All three of them would become so intertwined in the false promises of happiness, those cold, empty smiles of hope…it would shatter them completely.

Inuyasha shook himself off, once more resembling a dog, and a rather wet one at that. The leafy canopy provided some form of shelter from the dismal thunderclouds, and it set the hanyou’s mind at ease…nobody would sneak up on him from this height…he could keep a perfect lookout and think, all at the same time…though what to think about, he could not fathom. There was no answer to this situation…none that he could see at least. He HAD to keep Kagome happy…he HAD to keep his long-ago promise to Kikyo. Both women had their own places deep within his secret heart…neither was more important than the other.

He cursed aloud, slamming his fist into the muscle of his thigh, eyes narrowed and alive with anger. To leave one was to hurt the other…to keep both…well, that wasn’t even an option anymore, was it? Especially not after last night…

………………………………

“Kikyo…”

“So you’ve come, Inuyasha…as I summoned…” The priestess murmured softly, hazel eyes drawn and dark in their haunted gaze. Tonight her velvet black hair was free of its bindings, and it swung low and enticing against her shoulders and back.

“How could I not?” Inuyasha was also soft-spoken, a trait very much unlike him. But when it came to Kikyo, everything about the young hanyou changed.

“Inuyasha…” Hearing his name spoken through those lips he so longed to caress caused a shiver to wrack down his spine. A guilty flash of Kagome’s upturned, smiling face wormed its way into his mind’s eye. What was he doing here…?

“Inuyasha…I grow weary of my existence…” Kikyo clutched the white fabric of her kimono directly above where her heart would lay, if she had still had one. Inuyasha’s ears pricked forward, the only sign of his sudden concern for the miko. “I live off the souls of the dearly departed…what sort of life is this…?”

“Don’t you dare!” The hanyou said suddenly, eyes bright and furious in their golden stare. He stepped forward quickly, eating up the distance between their two bodies, clasping her slender hands between his own. “Don’t you dare talk like that…you aren’t going anywhere…do you understand me?”

Kikyo’s eyes widened, tinged with a hint of pain as Inuyasha bore down on her pale limbs in his increasing urgency. “Inuyasha…you are half-demon, are you not?”

“Wha…what’s that got to do with anything?” His cheeks flushed the palest of reds at the mention of his mixed blood, the curse he would forever bare.

“Answer me, Inuyasha! Are you, or are you not a half-demon!?”

“I am…” The response was jarred out of him by the furious tone in Kikyo’s voice. Immediately, the miko’s face softened, eyes tilted upward as she smiled slightly.

“Then you are also half-human…does it not disgust you that I must feed off the souls of dead humans…human children…if I am to continue drawing breath after breath?” She had begun to struggle slightly, trying to pull her hands from his. Inuyasha tightened his grip on her, drawing her close despite her futile attempts to free herself. Deftly, and before embarrassment and his insecure feelings could get the better of him, Inuyasha placed the softest whisper of a kiss onto Kikyo’s cheek, drawing with him that scent of hers, tinged with the power to purify him on spot should she decide to do so.

Kikyo jerked back as much as her captured body would allow, the whites of her eyes showing all the way around her irises. Leaning forward again, Inuyasha captured her lips in his, feeling the velvet skin tremble ever-so-lightly against his parted mouth.

“How could I ever be disgusted at you, Kikyo…” His voice was hoarse, quiet. He cupped one pale cheek with the palm of his hand, thumb smoothing over her silky skin. She seemed completely entranced by him now, her lips blushed an endearing pink. “You’re only doing what you have to do to survive…hell, I’ve done some things that I’m not completely proud of. So what if you must do something undesirable…if it’s to live, Kikyo…”

“Inuyasha…” As if on cue, she leaned into his embrace, small frame shuddering beneath his larger one. Her pale hand clutched once more at the spot in between her breasts, silk gathered in the crevices between her fingers.

“Kikyo…you will live…I’ll make sure of it, because…I lo-“

A sob cut through the darkness, a heart-wrenching sound that sent Inuyasha jumbling back to his senses. They were in a clearing in the forest, surrounded by trees but completely in the open, should someone happen to stumble by them. Out of reflex, he jerked away from Kikyo, eyes wide and afraid, knowing who had made that noise but unable to fully comprehend the consequences.

“Inuyasha…how could you…”

“Kagome…”

The young schoolgirl with the powers of a priestess stood at the edge of the clearing, her fingers wrapped tightly in the cloth of her uniform, mimicking Kikyo’s stance to the slightest precision without even being aware of it. And why should they not mirror each other so unconsciously? Kagome was Kikyo’s reincarnation and they both shared the same soul. Both looked alike in so many ways. Both had fallen in love with a certain half-demon.

And he had fallen in love with both of them.

Inuyasha tried to step towards Kagome, hand out in a pleading gesture, but that broke the spell. She turned on heel and ran from the clearing. The scent of her tears was sharp on the air, salty and sad to hanyou’s senses.

“KAGOME!”

“Inuyasha!”

He turned on spot, forgetting once again that no matter how bad a situation seemed, it could always go from bad to worse. What his golden orbs took in now was a crestfallen miko, her eyes as drawn and sad as they had been at the beginning of their meeting. Inuyasha swallowed hard, ears wilting slightly, dragging towards the rounded curve of his skull. He wanted to comfort both of them, but dared not make a move. Now was the time to be careful, as he was walking on eggshells.

“Does she mean more to you than I?” Kikyo turned her back to him, but not before he could see the glimmer of tears pricking the corners of her eyes. ‘Oh jeez…’

“Kikyo…I…I never meant-” Never meant what? What exactly was it that he had not meant? He meant what he had said to Kikyo…meant every word of it. Just as he meant everything he said to Kagome…

“Enough! I will hear no more of your lies, Inuyasha…go to your Kagome, hanyou…” He winced as she called him a half-demon. “But know this…”

She began to walk away, drawing the shadows of the forest upon herself, her hair swaying lightly to counter the gentle sway of her hips.

“…One day…your heart will be mine, Inuyasha…”

And at that, she was gone.

………………………………………….

Back in the present, Inuyasha bowed his head, leaning one, muscled arm off the curve of his knee. There was no going back to that precarious life he had tried to spin for both women. Now all he could do was cause their suffering, and further along the ultimate outcome of their dangerous relationship with each other…whatever that might be. Clawed hands formed tightly curled fists. It wasn’t really all that fair, now was it? He hadn’t asked to have to care for two separate people, two people who were so different, and yet so alike. After all the shit that had been dumped on him, the least luck could do was go easy on him when the concerns of his heart fell into play.

“Dammit all…” the young hanyou muttered under his breath, shifting uncomfortably under his damp kimono.

Miroku and Sango had been no help in these regards. Miroku, the young monk with a powerful hole in his hand, capable of drawing anything into it, was just a stupid pervert. It still made Inuyasha’s blood boil at remembering their first meeting, seeing Miroku with his hands on Kagome. ‘That stupid bastard…’ Miroku had wanted to help Inuyasha, but with the thought of two women dancing around in his head, all he had been able to do was to wonder how Inuyasha could have gotten so lucky.

Sango was a demon slayer who had lost all of her family to the devious Naraku. Inuyasha had hoped that this young woman might be the answer to his problems, but she was too concerned with Kagome’s feelings to offer much more than a rap on the head with her Hiraikotsu and a courteous “ WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!” She went to go sit by the Bone Eater’s Well, in case Kagome came back and needed some sort of comfort. Come to think about it, hadn’t Miroku also went to the Bone Eater’s Well…probably to offer his own version of comfort to Sango while she sat there unawares.

Which left Inuyasha to his own help, and by the look of things, he wasn’t getting very far. The young hanyou tilted his head to the left, cheek pressed up against his forearm, eyes slanted and nearly closed. It would be nice if he could just sit here the rest of his life, not moving, not heeding to any call. Just…sitting. At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with the problem at hand, especially if everyone would just leave him the fuck alone.

Unfortunately, just as Inuyasha had begun to relax in the slightest, a scent wafted delicately towards his nose, entwining itself into his senses, making his hair stand stiff and straight on the back of his neck. The scent was familiar, tinged with cold youkai power and cunning thought. The hanyou leapt to his feet, sword already drawn and fangs bared in an animalistic snarl.

“What ails you, little brother? I can smell your pathetic human sorrow from a mile away.” Sesshoumaru appeared from the opposite side of Inuyasha, feet poised gracefully over the branch upon which he was standing, amber eyes devoid of all emotion. His face was pale, with magenta stripes running across his delicate-looking cheek structure. Inuyasha growled low in his throat, and spit a grumbling curse that he had run into the last person he wanted to see on days like this.

“Sesshoumaru! And to what do I owe the fucking pleasure?” Inuyasha’s ears had made an appearance, rising from his thick mane of hair to thrust forward dominantly. His muscles flexed beneath his kimono, all eager to be at battle, to slash his sword forward and make another notch on his hated half-brother’s armor.

“As loud and as rude as ever.” Sesshoumaru chastised in an emotionless voice. However, his golden eyes gleamed hatefully as they studied the hanyou before them. Inuyasha’s eyes were drawn downward suddenly, as he spotted his brother’s second arm. ‘What the fuck…’ “You never answered my question, Inuyasha. What ails you?”

“Keh, like I’m gonna fucking go into my life story with you, Sesshoumaru!” He shifted on his feet, suddenly deciding he didn’t much care for the direction this conversation was going. “Now did you just come to run your mouth, or did you come to fight? Either way, I’m gonna knock that superior look right off that mug of yours!”

“It is that priestess, Kikyo, is it not? And that wench who follows you in your travels…” Sesshoumaru’s lips curved just the slightest, transforming his face into that of a sadistic angel. The demon turned his head, studying the lethal claws adorning his slender fingers. The same arm that Inuyasha had hacked off before. “Love…what a useless human emotion…”

Inuyasha jerked as if struck, his grip loosening on his Tetsusaiga, if only for a second. Then the rage came, engulfed his entire being, making him shake. How dare he…how dare this stupid brother of his speak of things so bluntly, when only Inuyasha knew the truth. He tightened his hold on his sword, crouching to spring.

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE!” He hurled himself at Sesshoumaru, sword curled back to deliver a killing blow, all thoughts and coherency burned away by the power of his hatred for his older brother. Just as he swung, he pictured that mask falling from Sesshoumaru’s face, showing the true emotions of pain to be let through the otherwise stoic demon. Instead, his sword cut through empty air as Sesshoumaru moved out of the way, just a simple twitch of the muscles that moved his body in the right direction, a hairsbreadth away from Inuyasha’s sword as it sunk into the tree’s trunk.

“Dammit all-“ Inuyasha cursed, preparing himself to fight Sesshoumaru hand-to-hand. He twisted himself around, relinquishing his hold on Tetsusaiga, only to be slammed up against the rough bark of the tree. Sesshoumaru’s hand flexed around Inuyasha’s throat, cutting off the young hanyou’s air supply as he thrashed around.

“So easily angered…” Sesshoumaru said coldly, sinking his claws into the tender skin of Inuyasha’s throat. “A trait you inherited from your mother, no doubt.”

“Just…shut up…Sessh…oumaru.” Inuyasha gasped through his open mouth, eyes bulging from their sockets. Blackness was slowly creeping across his field of vision, but Inuyasha fought the feeling off savagely. Now was not the time to pass out. “If…you’re…going to k…kill me, then…get it over…with…fleabag…”

A solid fist connected itself with the side of Inuyasha’s face, filling blood in his mouth. The young hanyou spit the wad of red from his lips, eyes narrowed with anger and pain. He was feeling light and dizzy from lack of oxygen, and going unconscious was looking all the more tempting. At least this would be a solution to his problem. Without him, Kagome and Kikyo could no longer be hurt by this emotional predicament.