Sesshoumaru, The Tutor

Chapter one
Rejection and Tears

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She sat, blanketed by the comforting darkness of the bar that had become her home away from home. Soft whispers of those within gently drifted over to her isolated dark corner near the dark sophisticated bar front. She, herself sat on padded cushions which sank deep down, almost swallowing her. The soft hues of fold and brown from the lamp on the table before hr did nothing to cheer the normally happy woman.

A silent tear slide down her face, uncontrolled as it made the first out of many trails down her face that evening. She was trying her best not to give in to the sorrow that was eating at her, yet it was not easy. Lifting the stiff drink to her lips, she let its powerful scent flog her nose before the cold glass caressed her unprotected lips.

After the day she had had, it hardly seemed important to remember to retouch up her favourite lip colour. The stark strength of the liquid as it slithered down her throat almost helped the tears that she was struggling to fight back. She was a beautiful woman alone in her misery. Her mind played over the events that had led to this day and she couldn’t help herself from clenching her eyes in remembered pain.

A clogged throat struggled under the force of her need to cry. Shivering lightly at the sorrow that passed through her body, she downed the remainder of the drink. She knew that she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, but today it was what she needed.

Staring blankly into space, she almost missed hearing the bar tender as he came over to her. She did not see the concern on his face. Her blank ghostly eyes did not see him step to her. Her death ears did not hear his softly whispered words of concern. It was not until she felt that familiar touch that she broke out of her deep reverie.

Slowly, her eyes lifted to meet his warm worried ones and finally she couldn’t hold it in anymore. The pressure of tears that she had been fighting for so long, caught her one moment of weakness and flooded through, spilling down flushed cheeks that had been struggling in the battle to remain calm. In a move of pure haste, she got up and launched herself into his arms.

“Oh Sesshoumaru,” she sobbed heart brokenly. His strong arms rushed around her to support the sudden pressure as well as to offer the comfort that she needed. Murmuring soft words of soothing, he gently rubbed his hand along her back in soft gestures, almost non existent, but they were there enough for her to notice and for the moment that was all she needed. She let her tears come forward and clung to him like her life depended on it.

Sesshoumaru Taisho had known her since they were children. Their lifestyles were completely different. She was a librarian who found pleasure in books, any kind. While he was a successful business man who had grown his father’s single Nightclub and bar in to a franchise that spanned Japan, Canada and the US. He had grown up wealthy. He was accustomed to the comforts of it, while she had grown in a nice loving middle class family.

They had nothing in common yet when they had first met, the friendship was instantaneous. They had become the best of friends from their adolescent days and now into adult hood. Christian was her roommate and on many nights, she had found herself hold up at his favourite bar, it was the first one his father had opened. He chose to spend his nights there behind the bar as they had done when they were younger. It had after all been their job. No one really questioned why a sixteen year old boy and girl were bartending and waitress-ing, respectively. It had never seemed like it was wrong in anyway. Growing up at Crimson Night club had been one of the best times of both their lives. But now things were different

As Kagome sobbed within Sesshoumaru’s arms, she felt like her world was coming apart. She wanted to cling to him and have it all fade away. She wanted him to fix it like he always did.

She vaguely realised that he was calmly walking her to his office. Her world, blurred by her tears could not be sure of what was happening. She did not even feel embarrassment at sobbing so heart wrenchingly within public. She just wanted to die, fade away and never return again.

Dimply, the click of the office door registered to her and she let go of her best friend, soft sniffles continuing to escape her lips, her body trembling under the onslaught of crying too long. And encouraging hand softly lay on her back, gently leading her through the office that she knew so well. It was on the top floor of the building which was only three floors high. She could not even take the time to appreciate the masculine beauty of the place as usually did. Sitting onto the couch, as soft as cloud, she let herself sink into it like it was the comforting embrace of a parent.

Briefly, she thought that Sesshoumaru had left her as well. But she chased the thought away. Sesshoumaru had been with her for as long as she could remember. He would never abandon her no matter what. He may be gone but she just knew deep down that he would return. Wrapping her arms around her body, Kagome felt so alone. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to remember any of it. Her throat tightened again under the force of trying to control the fresh batch of tears that desperately wanted to tear out of her throat.

Closing her eyes under the force of the headache she could feel building, she breathed in relief as the rather dim light of the office faded and darkness of her closed lashes swallowed her. It was what she wanted. Oblivion. She did not want to exist anymore. She did not even care to feel anymore.

A soft clearing of a throat had her opening her eyes and she gazed into the sorrowful ones of her best friend. It wasn’t often that he allowed others to see his emotions. He grew up in a cold home where emotion represented weakness. His friendship with her had been a major struggle among his family. She was not like them. They did not like those who were not like them. She couldn’t believe that he had fought so had to keep their friendship. It had touched her more than anything in the world. That the “prince” would fight for her.

He was his most unguarded when he was around her. She was the only one who ever saw him as he truly was. As his eyes lay on her now, the pain that shone within, she knew that he was hurt because she was hurt. A soft pain clenched at her heart. She did not want him to hurt because of her. His life was already too difficult.

They remained in silence for what seemed like forever. Him at the door while she remained where she was, tear streaked face looking up at him, a thousand emotions battling for supremacy within her eyes. She watched the pulse tick furiously at his jaw and almost felt the familiar need to soothe her friend, but that was not possible right now. She couldn’t summon basic human courtesy at that moment and she just needed to feel comforted

“Kagome,” he finally said after waiting endlessly for her to say something. That simple break in the silence seemed to spur him on. He walked over to her, the cold forgotten drink in his hand clinking as the ice met the glass. Sitting next to her, he handed her the drink.

Looking up at him with huge sorrowful eyes, her thanks came out loud and clear. It was not for the drink in particular. It was for what it represented. That there was someone here to comfort her in her hour of need.

He smiled gently at her and waited. He was infinitely patient as she had learned. The silence within the room was almost deafening. So much so that when she lifted her glass to her lips and tasted the watered taste of the Strawberry Dakari he had gotten her, she audibly heard the distinct sound of the ice cubes clinking around each other. She felt slightly self conscious as he watched her take gulps of the drink, but it was a welcome distraction from what she knew would come next.

She was already feeling slightly light-headed from her earlier drink. Head a little light; she lifted the glass from her lips with a sigh as she enjoyed the slightly alcoholic taste. The tears had stopped and she had not realised it, but she still felt so horrid.

Sesshoumaru took the glass away from her and placed it on his expensive center piece, uncaring that the condensed water would slowly slide down to the wood and ruin it. He recaptured his sit and with a deep sigh he covered his eyes. He really did not want to force her. He had learned early on that it was not a smart idea to force her. She was a liberal woman who knew what she wanted and didn’t let anyone lead her where she did not want to go.

“Are you ready to tell me what caused you so much distress?” he asked in his cultured voice, heavy with an accent. His piercing intelligent eyes did not miss the wince of remembered pain.

“I—” she choked on a sob. It seemed they were not as far off as she had first thought. Struggling with her deep sorrow, she looked up at him again, choosing not to hide from the pain. Unconsciously, she moved to take his hand as she finally allowed the painful memories of only a few hours to come forward.

-----

Several weeks earlier, Kagome working her regular shift at the library, had a day that was not like any other. Even as administrator of her branch, it was not uncommon to find her doing chores such as desk work or shelving and labelling books. She had a decade old affair with books that didn’t seem to be ready to wane or fade any time soon.

After years, she had developed a pattern, a schedule. She would spend her hours at the library, meet their regular customers and enjoy the time as the hours just seemed to fly by. Her day was filled with several monotonous tasks that others would have fretted and complained about. Yet she enjoyed them and found something new everyday. It truly was true. As long as one enjoyed their job, they could go through it without any worries.

Then she would sadly leave on of the experienced staff in charge for the closing shift and head on to Crimson, where she would spend hours either helping Sesshoumaru or simply reading a book. They would leave around eight in the evening and either eat out, get take out or one of them would cook when they got home. It had been their pattern for years, and it was one they both enjoyed.

But that pattern had changed suddenly one day. With one change everything else collapsed. It was like the hitting of a domino chain. That change was called Kouga. He was just like Sesshoumaru, but not. He one day waltzed into her library and took over her life completely. She had never had any deep romantic relationships. Not especially with someone who looked as beautiful as Kouga, Yet with him it had been magical. He was so charming, dashing. Romantic.

He’d smiled and it had dazzled her until all she could see was him and nothing else. No one like him had ever shown interest in her before ad she really enjoyed the attention.

For weeks they enjoyed a romance. Kagome was so happy that she had forgotten all about her visits with Sesshoumaru. He had noticed but he hadn’t said anything as he knew that she was happy. It was not like she had forgotten him completely. It was just that she was getting something that she was not accustomed to and was revelling in the attention of an attractive male.

Soon things changed though. Rather they did not change, they became more intense. The sweet loving Kouga that she had grown accustomed to suddenly vanished. It was almost over night. Suddenly in his place was this dark man who kept making sexual passes at her. It was not that she didn’t feel that way about him. She did. She was just an innocent. She had always believed that such things only came with marriage and love.

She had not wanted to admit that she had no experience in the matters of sex and pleasure. She was the one who blushed painfully when she even considered self gratification rather than having actual sex with someone she had only just met.

With growing worry, she tried her best to put off his advances which were becoming less and less subtle with every meeting. It wasn’t long before she was dreading seeing him, for though she loved his company, she was frightened of both the darker side of him that she was seeing as well as her inability to do the things that he would expect of her.

Finally she would not evade his advances anymore. It was at a party with all his friends present. He had not been entirely sober and had been trying to touch her inappropriately in a room full of strangers. She could still remember his hot breath on her skin, utterly repulsive as he drunkenly forced her up against a wall. The things he was not so whispering making her blush in shame as his rough hands roved over her body. As his friends laughed at the show and her discomfort, she remembered looking at him and she could not see the man that she had had so much fun with.

Pushing him away, she tried to run, but by pushing him away, she had humiliated him in front of his friends and he had to make sure she was aware that such a thing did not happen. For several seconds, as she lay slammed up against the wall with vicious force, her eyes clouding over from the pain of her head slamming back, she had been afraid that he would hit her or worse. The threat of his hand around her neck had made that fear even more real.

Never in her life had she been mistreated. She felt a tiny part of her mind being thankful that she had seen this part of him as she had no doubt later on it would have been worse. Yet still she worried for the here and now.

He didn’t hit her. He had taken the time to cruelly inform her that she was a frigid bitch who could never interest a man. He had taken the time to inform her that no man would ever want a woman who was afraid of sex and he could not believe that he had actually considered wanting her as he could not possibly want such a creature as her. She meant nothing to him

Then to punctuate his point, he had pressed his arm into her throat tightly for a moment, cutting off her air. She had felt her eyes widen in fear as no one did anything to help. She was afraid that he would kill her then but then he just pushed her onto the floor and staggered away drunkenly with another woman who had been eagerly watching the fight.

-----

As her tale came to an end, her tears returned. The growl that escaped Sesshomaru’s lips terrified her. She had never had any reason to fear the power of a man before as all in her life had treated her with respect, as an equal. Even Sesshoumaru, who came from a powerful family.

Seeing her flinch, Sesshoumaru downplayed his anger. It was potent. He wanted to smash something solid, preferably Kouga’s face. Pulling Kagome onto his lap as he had done several times in the past, he tried his best to soothe her. After years of being her confidante, he was still inadequate in the comforting department. Years of training had taken strong root, yet he was still trying and that was enough for Kagome.

“Listen to me Kagome. Kouga is a foolish child who cannot possibly understand how to treat a woman right. You are beautiful and should cherish your inexperience. Do not listen to idiot wolves who only think with their baser instincts. You should cherish your innocence and wait for a man who will teach you with loving patience all you need to know. Do not feel guilty that a foolish boy has made your innocence seem worthless.” By the end of his speech, his voice had deteriorated to a harsh growl.

“As for what he has done, well he will soon learn. Of that, I promise on my honour. He will learn the shame of threatening and harming a woman. Especially one under my protection.”

Frantically, she lifted her head from its previous perch on his shoulders. “No!” she begged. Please don’t hurt him. I don’t care. I won’t be seeing him anymore!” she did not want him to hurt Sesshoumaru. Kouga was dangerous and if anything ever happened to Sesshoumaru because of her, she would not be able to forgive herself.

“I cannot Kagome. Did I not promise to always protect you? Then please trust in me. I will not let anything like this ever happen again.”

Frightened for his life, as she truly believed that Kouga was a man capable of killing, she let out a soft whimper as she hugged onto him tightly. Nothing more was said between the two. They simply stayed as they were letting the other’s warmth seep in and comfort.


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