Creeps Me Out

Title: Creeps Me Out

Author: Pucie

Chapter: Creeps Me Out; Part One: I'm Too Sexy For My Stalker

A/N: I got the idea for this story when I was listening to "Creeps Me Out" by Ima Robot. I love that song! You should listen to it if you haven't heard it yet. It makes this story even funnier. This IS a PARODY, so all the stupid humor, pointless corny situations, and over the top actions of the characters are written the way I wanted to write them. This is VERY AU, and everyone is definitely Out Of Character! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer!! I do not own Inuyasha, or any of the other characters of the Inuyasha anime/manga series. Nor do I own the song "Creeps Me Out" or the band Ima Robot.

"And CUT!" the director yelled from off set. He stood up from the chair he was currently occupying and walked onto the set.

"Alright people, that's a wrap for today!" he said as he looked around the room before continuing. "Go home, get some rest and be back here early in the morning!"

He then walked off, preparing to gather his own things to go home and get some sorely needed relaxation time in before he to would drift off for the night.

Miroku stretched, raising his hands above his head, as he yawned widely. He hated to admit it, but he felt like the walking dead. The director had been driving them to the bone, they were two weeks behind schedule on the filming of the current "Inuyasha" movie.

Kagome walked over to him and said, "It's about damned time! I thought that fucker was never gonna call it quits."

Miroku started chuckling as he heard the words pass from her lips. Even though they had all known each other for years, ever since "Inuyasha" had first aired, it still tickled his funny bone to hear her speaking with such vulgarity.

Inuyasha strolled over to them and walked up behind Kagome, his wife, and gently wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Kagome relaxed almost completely as she felt her love's arms around her.

"Calm down baby. You don't want to get worked up over something silly like that. You know how your temper is." He said soothingly in her ear.

"Keh" was the only reply he received from her.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I am beat. I am sooo ready to go home, relax in a nice hot bath, and call it a night." He said.

"Feh, what is it with you and relaxing in a hot bath, Inu-baby?" Kagome said, sounding slightly irritated.

"I just like to stay clean for you love," he responded as he put his arm around her waist as he started to lead her away to their dressing rooms.

"Bye Roku!" she said, suddenly acted much more cheerfully. He smiled and waved as they retreated out of the building.

He looked around the room and saw that Sango was still there, and she was staring intensely at him.

He had a suddenly disturbing idea of what she was thinking and jumped up and ran around to the back of the set, back to where the props were stored.

He was not scared of the smaller actress, in fact he liked her. . . . . . .A LOT. But she seemed to have a certain amount of strong urges that bothered him, like the fact that she gropes him. . . . . .all the time!

He looked around and found an old wheelbarrow that the props department had fashioned to look like a primitive ferry boat. He quickly jumped inside and hid underneath the linen sails. Hoping against hope that she would not find him and would then give up the search for him.

He heard her soft footsteps as she approached his hideaway. "Miroku? Miroko?" he could hear her saying as she got closer and closer to the object of her desires.

Miroku crept out of the back of the wagon, and headed for the side door. He only hoped he got out of there before she noticed he was even gone.

He sighed heavily as he made his way to his trailor. He was walking along when he suddenly heard a loud sobbing coming from the inside of Inuyasha's trailor. Even though he had never seen the couple fight amongst themselves, he knew that they had to fight every once in a while.

As he drew closer, he noticed that it sounded like a man sobbing. He knew from previous experience that Kagome had a temper that rivaled no other, and when she got angry she let the loose with some very vulgar language and insults. He only hoped that it would not be something to come between the couple. The were as perfect for each other as night is to day. Just as the sun needs the moon and the moon needs the sun, they needed each other.

Even if they sometimes didn't act like it.

He climbed the few stairs up to the door and knocked gently. He waited a few minutes and was just about to knock again when he heard Kagome shout, "Come in already, dammit!"

'Oh shit, she's in one of her black moods. Great!' he thought to himself as he opened the door.

As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Inuyasha's brother sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, sobbing his heart out. Inuyasha was sitting beside himrubbing his back and trying to comfort the dog demon.

Miroku walked over to Kagome and whispered," What happened? What's wrong with him?"

"Naraku, what else?" she whispered back.

Miroku then moved to occupy the other side of Sesshoumaru. Once he was settled comfortably, he reached out and touched Sesshoumaru's shoulder.

"What did he do this time, my friend?" Miroku asked his friend gently.

"It's just that he has become so distant recently, not the lovey-dovey man I fell in love with. It's almost as if he can't stand being around me anymore. It's because I'm too fat isn't it? I'm too fat and he'll never really love me. That's it, I know it!" he spat out bitterly.

"Why don't you just ask him what is the matter?" Miroku said.

"NO! I could never do that! I don't think I could bear the pain it would cause to my already battered heart!" he whined to the monk.

Miroku rolled his eyes and smiled, "You never know until you ask, you know that right? Because I don't think he wants to leave you, he probably has a lot on his mind as of late." He told Sesshoumaru before he rose from the couch and offered the demon a helping hand to stand.

"Go and talk with him, I bet you'll find out that he really does love you and only you!" Miroku said as he yanked the demon out of the sitting and almost lost his balance in the process.

Sesshoumaru flashed them all a smile before heading for the door, "Thanks you guys for being there to support me! You always say the right thing to bring me out of a bad mood!"

With those words said, he walked out the door, and headed to Naraku's trailer.

Miroku grinned at the other two and was about to leave when he heard someone knocking on the door of his friends trailor.

He glanced through the peephole and saw the one person he was so desperately trying to avoid. . . . .Sango.

"Shit!" he cursed under his breath.

Inuyasha noticed the change in his friend almost immediately. "Who is it? Sango?" he asked.

"Yes, I've got to hide. Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide. I know the bathroom!" he said quietly. Even though Sango was a human, he knew that she had superb hearing.

He looked over at Inuyasha with a desperate look on his face. "Please, whatever you do, don't let her know I'm here!"

"KAAAGOOMEEE! IIINNNUUUUYYASSHHHAA! Open up!" she said in a slightly creepy, but cheerful tone.

Miroku made a mad dash for the bathroom at the end of their trailer, got in and locked the door.

As soon as Inuyasha opened the door, Sango shot in just like a bullet.

"Have either of you seen Miroku?" she asked.

"Why do you ask?' replied Kagome from her spot on the couch.

"Because I love him, I think he's gorgeous, and I want to strip him naked and do things with his absolutely luscious body that would make a twenty cent whore blush like a schoolgirl" Sango replied without pause,

Inuyasha sweatdropped and blushed at her words, but Kagome just laughed. "No, we haven't seen him" she said as she nodded her head to the affirmative and pointed towards the bathroom.

Sango got a confused look on her face, and shrugged her shoulders at Kagome. Inuyasha quickly moved over to his wife before she could continue. "No, Kagome don't, he's our friend, remember?" he whispered in her ear.

She just glared at him and whispered back, "She's our friend too, and this is getting ridiculous! You know he likes her, so why won't he go out with her?"

"Because she's a stalker!" he grumbled in her ear.

"You're just being negative, I call it devotion!" she whispered back vehemently before turning back to Sango and mouthed the words 'He's in the bathroom' to the girl she considered her best friend.

Sango grinned widely, nodded to show her understanding, and headed back to the bathroom. She was a woman on a mission!